BOOM!
My holidays have been OK-ed so I'm heading to the delights of Centerparcs in Penrith. I've fixed a problem that was hanging round like a bad smell for 4 months and I've had red leicester buns and BACON Discos. My old shitty wardrobes that I was given for free sold for £60 on eBay and my parents bought me some paint

When did life get so fucking good for you?

Alt:
BAD for you
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:06, 126 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I'm turning 30 tomorrow to both questions.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:09, Reply)

Congratulations.
Big plans or Pizza Express again?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:10, Reply)

or at
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:11, Reply)

Going here for dinner
www.camerons-brasserie.co.uk/
(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:14, Reply)

Guinea Fowl or the Dogfish I reckon.
Scallops to start.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:18, Reply)

this^
though the treacle and lime cured sea bass sounds good
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:19, Reply)

it's just a sample menu so I doubt it'll be the same,
but the Guinea fowl looks good.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:20, Reply)

No, that's goose

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:21, Reply)

NINJA CUNT

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:21, Reply)

Don't fucking start Nakers off with the Goose thing again

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:22, Reply)

I think we can all agree that we wish Nakers was dead.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:23, Reply)

I'm a bad judge of character I like Nakers

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:25, Reply)

GO TEAM NAKERS

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:25, Reply)

TEAM
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:26, Reply)

HWONK

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:23, Reply)

Oh good, they got vouchers !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:41, Reply)

Wee young upstart

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:10, Reply)

Congratulations

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:11, Reply)

Thanks.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:15, Reply)

I drank about 20 different shots of flavoured vodka and fell asleep in a curry for my 30th

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:22, Reply)

30!
A mere child.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:11, Reply)

SHUT UP I'M NOT 30 TODAY!

(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:18, Reply)

Man the fuck up
Salt'n'Vinegar Discos or GTFO
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:12, Reply)

I love them but I'd never seen bacon ones before
Beef FTW
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:13, Reply)

I occaisionally buy the multi-packs of Discos I’m always upset that they never seem to do them just as S&V
I once had a packet of Beef Hola Hoops that was mainly just the dust they sprinkle on* Can you imagine just the flavouring from S&V discos


*They should sell that stuff loose
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:20, Reply)

Are they the Hawaiian versions?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:21, Reply)

Haha
I really should read what I type
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:23, Reply)

I wouldn't bother.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:38, Reply)

I wish you didn't

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:39, Reply)

I think that's what that stuff we found in the bogs on Monday was

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:22, Reply)

Fuckin harsh on the old nose it was

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:23, Reply)

SCORE

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:23, Reply)

Bog gear.
The best of all zzzzzzzz
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:33, Reply)

James May's niche spinoff

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:01, Reply)

BACON Disco...
HAMmer time!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:13, Reply)

I haz a 4 day weekend coming \o/
starting with a good old session on thé beer tomorrow.

BBC comments section is mental today.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:13, Reply)

Is that where frank and SSG are posting then?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:14, Reply)

Could be

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:18, Reply)

can you screenshot the highlights, and lay them out in to a nice gallery with a pleasant back ground please?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 May 2013, 13:15, Reply)

Not on my phone, no

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:16, Reply)

fuck.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 May 2013, 13:25, Reply)

life is a bit rubbish right now,
but plans are in place, things may change soon, and the new puppy hasn't shat or pissed on anything important yet.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 May 2013, 13:15, Reply)

Just popping up here
to say how much I enjoyed reading your Mogwai-related input earlier. Cracked me up.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:20, Reply)

i'm doing my best with the material at hand, sometimes, like today, we have a good day.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 May 2013, 13:21, Reply)

Any developments on your work/complaint bullshit yet?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:26, Reply)

Yep
The hearing was in Woolwich yesterday
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:27, Reply)

no-one asked you, Gunga

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:31, Reply)

yeah, his grivance against me came to nothing, thrown out as bullshit.
So his disciplinary is tomorrow, and i can't see how they won't fire him, i induct new manager in to his old pub, and things go back to normal basically. well, kind of.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 May 2013, 13:35, Reply)

Except for the family of your victim.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:38, Reply)

Assuming nobody mentions the dead bloke in the corner

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:38, Reply)

Life is okay and the new job is interesting enough.
All it needs to do is pay me the last 3 months' wages and nobody gets fucking hurt
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:17, Reply)

I finally have "some" money now after 3 months of fuck all

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:18, Reply)

I think I'm going to get paid soon.
I definitely know there's money coming in, but still... :(
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:36, Reply)

KA-POWWWWW
Nice one.

My life is in many ways better than it has ever been. Doesnae fuckin' feel like it today mind you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:19, Reply)

I may have some kind of brain tumour though as my eyes feel fucking mental today

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:20, Reply)

Mental eyes is one of the main signs of tumours I'm afraid.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:21, Reply)

Poor old Marty Feldman was riddled with tumours for years.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:21, Reply)

Graves' Disease
It's to do with the thyroid, not brain tumours.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:37, Reply)

This is dull.
Soz.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:37, Reply)

Billitis

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:21, Reply)

Bonk eyed flid alert

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:30, Reply)

Which one of you said that?!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:31, Reply)

blah blah blah fucking blah tl;dr

(lolololololol TEAM SSG, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:26, Reply)

Alright?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:27, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1971305#post1971312
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:30, Reply)

I've found out I get a free day off tomorrow!
alt: I'll probably waste it cleaning/tidying/DIYing
(socynicalsohip, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:29, Reply)

Teacher training day tomorrow so I've got the day off to look after the kids
Gonna take them to a soft play place and drink coffee all morning
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:30, Reply)

NOT THE BALL PIT!!!!!!!!!!

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:31, Reply)

quick link that one joke you made weeks ago that some people found funny!

(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:33, Reply)

It was yesterday :(

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:34, Reply)

and all your troubles were so far away

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:42, Reply)

Oh man I'm really jealous

(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:32, Reply)

I was going to book tomorrow off
Until I realised some cunt booked a meeting in the afternoon
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:33, Reply)

Yeah those kiddie warehouse play factory type places are a fucking nightmare
screaming, shouting little cunts everywhere.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:33, Reply)

BATTERED

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:34, Reply)

then you run out of ammo and have to wait for the filth to take you out

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:34, Reply)

There's a small one round the corner from where I live which isn't too bad and normally quite quiet

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:35, Reply)

I bet it'll be dead on a teacher training day!

(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:36, Reply)

I think its only my kids school that is doing it and we live quite far away
*crosses fingers*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:38, Reply)

I'm going camping tomorrow night in what looks to be subArctic temperatures

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:32, Reply)

Perfect smoking and drinking temperature!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:35, Reply)

This is what camping is all about.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:39, Reply)

Where?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:35, Reply)

See I don't get this
MsFrisbee is incapable of taking a day off, to the extent where she had 2 weeks off and had the urge to completely do up the house, the garden, her audits, some shopping.
I had one day off in the middle of it and she had the nerve to drag me around Liverpool on a couple of her errands. Woman, I just want to sit on the sofa and play Xbox, LEAVE ME BE.
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:38, Reply)

I just ate five oatmeal and raison cookies.
In important shaving news, my shaving brush and almond shaving cream arrived yesterday and the new razor is as amazing as ever. I actively look forward to shaving now.

That is all.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:36, Reply)

I may get one of those
Al, you have converted me
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:36, Reply)

Why don't you have a fucking shaving bash.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:37, Reply)

You might cut your penis on all the razors.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:38, Reply)

Good idea!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:40, Reply)

Seriously, the Edwin Jagger DE89 is the shit bro. I like both Derby and Shark blades.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:39, Reply)

The company's younger than I am! Keep your inept yuppie rubbish away from me.
*Strokes his Gillette Fatboy protectively*
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:41, Reply)

+in to a bummer

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:43, Reply)

Have you thought of eloctrolysis?
Or however you spell it? No shaving shenannigans 4eva bro.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:38, Reply)

Nah, too expensive and painul, plus they can only treat a little area at a time
and I might want to grow a beard in other parts of my face in the future.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:40, Reply)

He did that with his head
Saves a fortune on hair cuts
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:41, Reply)

Taylors of Old Bond Street is where I make my annual pilgrimages to.
I'm considering buying a shavette.
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:39, Reply)

They are tricky and time consuming
ultimately the DE89 gives as good a shave, but with less chance of really cutting your face off.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:40, Reply)

Oh GREAT
Jilly fucking Goolden's popped in.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:42, Reply)

Wow your life really is fucking dull eh.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:42, Reply)

I've got some new socks!!
Now I set my alarm for 5am so I can admire them for an hour before putting them on!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:43, Reply)

What colour are they Monty
Bet not brown or black. Or yellow.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:45, Reply)

I went into M&S on Tuesday night.
I picked out half a dozen or so shirts, tried them all one and bought them. I nearly bought new socks, but I don't think I need any.

The man in the changing room said "Well done sir!" when I announced I would buy all the shirts I tried on.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:48, Reply)

i got a free measurement for some shirts in M&S once,
the lady said "my, you're an odd shape, I'm not sure any of these shirts will fit you at all"
:(
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 May 2013, 13:54, Reply)

Marks'n'Sparks and BHS, and some years sometimes George.... are the only place who have shirts that fit.
I have two shirts that are over 10 years old now that still fit me well, and have always fitted me well, I can't work that one out.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:03, Reply)

is it because they are XXXXXXXL?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:16, Reply)

You know in that Sweeny Todd show, where they bleed themselves to make themselves feel all relaxed'n'shit.
What's that all about? You interested in trying that?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:02, Reply)

Centreparcs?
Middle class Butlins innit?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:37, Reply)

I disagree.
I look down on both.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:39, Reply)

You get to sit outside, drink wine and watch squirrels
Whats not to like?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:40, Reply)

Squirrels.
Devious little fuckers. Don't trust 'em
(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:41, Reply)

I prefer to sit in wine, drink squirrels and watch the outside, thanks

( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:42, Reply)

The one I went to had this deer that came most mornings

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:43, Reply)

vigourous deer mastibation confession right here folks

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:45, Reply)

hahahahaa
Very good

Click
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:47, Reply)

Who killed Bambi?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:46, Reply)

The Young Ones?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:48, Reply)

Sit in the park.
And drink cider from the bottle. Then throw the empties at the squirrels. It's cheaper.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:44, Reply)

What's the best way to buy a car.
I want a Diesel Focus Estate, but the dealerships are too expensive. Where do I get decent used cars from?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 May 2013, 13:59, Reply)

autotrader...

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:04, Reply)

also what is your budget
There are hundreds of diesel estates on autotrader from beaten up old ones for a few hundred quid.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:08, Reply)

Can you buy me a car while you're at it?
Mine is too old and too small now.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:04, Reply)

find a man/woman who knows about cars.
go and speak to someone at the local motor auction and find out when the old police cars come through, or when reposessed cars generally turn up, go down, bid, buy. hope.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 May 2013, 14:09, Reply)

This morning I discovered my bathroom mirror slides to one side
and behind it there's a mummified corpse a cabinet with shelves. I have moved a load of stuff off the back of the sink where it was crammed, now.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 23 May 2013, 14:05, Reply)