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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Odd tripsTell me, /offtopic, of your odd trips to places. The actual journeys themselves, not the destinations. This morning's journey to work was puncuated by an exploding coffee machine and someone proper fucking themselves up tripping over (not me)
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 14:51,
161 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
North circular this morning.some motorcyclist proper fucked himself up getting hit by a car.
LOL!
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Kroney, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 14:55,
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I went on a trip to see my dad at a consturction site once,it seemed like it was a long way away. Then I got into a fight with my dads boss and he through him in the generator. It was the forrest moon of Endor and I am Luke Skywaker, that's what I was getting at.
(, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 14:57, Reply)
That genuinely made me do a lol(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:07,
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There was this one time I had some purple oms(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 14:58,
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Top ten JimiHendrizzzzzzzzzzzzzz(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:02,
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On Monday when I changed trains someone had an epileptic fit in one of the carriages.The station staff were about as much use as a chocolate teapot and not one person in the station had any medical training so it was left to me and another guy who had both done Basic Red Cross workplace training days to look after this guy while the Ambulance turned up.
(, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 14:59, Reply)
TO be fair, all I did was throw in some soap and my washing. So it was mainly teh other guy helping.(, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 14:59, Reply)
I had some absolute stunner of a girl do that right in front of me walking into Eldon Square a while agoShe was going like a fucking fish. Her boyfriend just went "It's normal, don't worry"
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:00,
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He probably thought he was a great lovertill he found out she was an epi with asthma
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Thing is there is literally nothing you can do other than make sure they don't bang their headand then put them in the recovery position while the ambulance turns up.
(, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:02, Reply)
It was a touch too late for thatProper face bouncer on the way down. Shiner, the works
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:03,
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Travelling by train from Hull to Sheffield many years agoI should have been suspicious when I saw the full bottle of whiskey on the table of the guy in front of me and chosen to sit elsewhere.
Once the train was moving he got stuck into the whiskey and about halfway into is started ranting.
IM A GERMAN SNIPER! ILL KILL EVERY ONE OF YOU WITH THE BULLETS IN MY GUN!
He and his empty bottle were removed from the train by the police at Doncaster.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:05,
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He smelled not entirely dissimilar to your mum.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:08,
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*sniffs*I'm getting haddock, gin and stale sperm
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:08,
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I'll probably just have the chips(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:09,
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A tricky episode of Iron Chef, that one(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:11,
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VOR YU, ZE CHURNEY IS OVERb3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1985251
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:05,
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Quite a few years ago we were heading to the Space Center in LeicesterMy cars head Gasket blew on the M1, my wife was not happy that I hustled the family out* and over the Armco barrier and slightly up the embankment near a bridge whilst we waited for a recovery vehicle, 15 Mins. later a HGV hit it totally destroying the car.
*it was raining at the time
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:05,
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Funny thatYour wife blew my head gasket in a layby near there
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:06,
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Harters is married to Gillian Taylforth?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:10,
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I get this*Not from my wife though Obvs. :(
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:12,
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She's too busy servicing everyone else.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:15,
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i.guim.co.uk/n/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2013/6/5/1370439840492/All-these-men-008.jpg
(, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:06, Reply)
this is you this isi.guim.co.uk/n/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2013/6/5/1370439832687/VD-can-be-cured-005.jpg
(, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:08, Reply)
Can it affect the brains of subsequent generations?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:08,
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I can't even get a ticket :o((
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:11,
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:13,
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Are you suggesting that's what's wrong with Sportscow?It would explain a few things, I'll admit.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:09,
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My mate Stu was in the Navy with a chap called EllisHis nickname became Sif
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:09,
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Human Centipede 3rd Armoured Division(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:14,
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I had some wanker knock over his red wine in my lap on a long haul flight.I had to sit in my undies wrapped in a blanket for the duration of the flight. The flight attendants somehow cleaned my jeans while I waited.
(, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:08, Reply)
He could at least have sucked you off(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:10,
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There's a disappointing lack of sex lies about the stewardesses and allLet's not forget this is an offshoot of qotw here.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:16,
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They did flirt with me a lot ..but I think that was more to stop me pouring a glass of wine over the sleeping Emirate than in response to my pasty thighs.
(, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:21, Reply)
Sorry, this is shitStart a new thread please
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:22,
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It's not the thread it's the lack of posters(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:27,
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It's rare, but he's right.Line up everyone - who's here?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:30,
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*Holds hand*(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:31,
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4 people at this stage(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:34,
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Yeah it's not looking good so farno offence
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:34,
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At this rate I may actually go and do some work(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:35,
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Also, let go of my hand, you big gayer(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:35,
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My lord you have a ladies hand(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:36,
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Me. But I have a tendancy to be rubbish.All my travel woes are after a heavy nights drinking involving a megabus toilet :(
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:35,
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Soz I lost interest in this roll call(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:46,
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ohhhh man this is the worst congo line EVAH(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:47,
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This is a quote from Fry that I laughed at."There are times when I'm doing QI and I'm going 'ha ha, yeah, yeah', and inside I'm going 'I want to fucking die. I... want... to... fucking... die.'"
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:40,
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best news everrrrrrwww.comedy.co.uk/news/story/000001170/keith_lemon_film_sequel_planned/
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I DIDNT KNOW THERE WAS A FIRST ONE!!!(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:43,
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In fact, I don't really know who that is.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:43,
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Not you, Sporters! Keith Melon or whatever his name is.
What's the weather like round your way? It's frickin' great here. I had a nice lunch in Wapping today.
(, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:46, Reply)
The pub is calling me right now(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:47,
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The Clashes latest ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:55,
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Not too bad at all actuallyGoing to go home to smash shit up with an axe in the garden soon
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:49,
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It is indeedI need to get out running as I'm in the Great NOrth Run in 3 fucking months too
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:57,
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Sounds messyI don't know why they don't just use indoor plumbing up there.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:58,
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Thank God you're here, EnricoThis place is dying without you.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:53,
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And I thought that the strikethrough had died out. 8/10 for execution. 1/10 for originality.
(, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:57, Reply)
I hope this is tongue in (YM's) cheekAwful.
He has a single out too?!
I like Celeb Juice but a film goes too far.
The Harry Hill one can fuck off too.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:44,
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It's ok everyone!They've finally resolved their differences: www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/22786124
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:56,
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Yaaayalso: m.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2013/jun/05/cronut-pastry-sensation-croissant-doughnut
(, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 15:57, Reply)
Bit late Chompy I posted a link to them a few days ago b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1982406
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:06,
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I didn't even click Harters' (
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:09,
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:03,
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I like the fat one in the middle. I bet she is a shit fuck and really miserable.
(, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:03, Reply)
Element of danger innit?A Blowjob could end Bobbity
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:12,
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Yeah but then you get into relationships with themthinking they are "quirky" with "endearing mannerisms".
THEN you find out they are as mad as fuck.
POW, RIGHT IN THE KISSER!
(, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:14, Reply)
Box of frogsI have a scar on my elbow from blocking a vodka and coke being thrown at me by an ex. 8 fucking stitches
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:15,
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Strong enough to shatter a crystal tumbler off my elbow, yes(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:20,
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It's almost impressive how they keep it hidden until that point.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:15,
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Oof so you didn't even get the crazy sex after the big reveal(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:20,
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My clopper is red fucking raw(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:29,
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Fucking hell.Been there, done that, got the fuck right out of it.
Dumped her 18 months ago and she's been engaged twice since then. Fucking mental.
(, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:17, Reply)
Mut is aptly nameOr...
Cronuts have no middle
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:10,
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As if by magic, the swipe appeared(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:12,
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LOLsoundcloud.com/musicmix/bombay-mixed
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:09,
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I have no idea what you are talking about, so no(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:13,
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Squddie got busted for having his picture taken in Afghanistan with a local. He made the local hold up a sign that said "Silly Paki".
(, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:15, Reply)
You wouldn't be laughing if it was your sister...........Wait, it wasn't your sister was it?
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:36,
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No, I killed her and ate her after buggering a hole in her(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:36,
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Perfectly reasonable Honour killing (
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:38,
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needs MOAR very very(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:39,
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Worst rip off Nando's sauce EVAH(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:40,
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He's a New Kid On The Block, that's why(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:20,
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Fucking hell you guysIs this what it's come to?
*stands framed in the doorway*
*turns*
*moseys off into the sunset*
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:54,
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Nearly shat myself on a plane to France when we hit an air pocket.Whilst it was only for a second, we dropped like a stone, fucking terrifying.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:26,
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Coming back from holiday once we had severe turbulanceMost was shitting themselves I was whooping with joy
The duty free may have been a factor
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:29,
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I can imagine that helpingMy friend's Mum was asleep in severe turbulence over Las Vegas, woke up fresh as a daisy as the plane landed, with most of the plane staring at her in anger.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:33,
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The Mr T effect(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:35,
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Time to take a trip to the pub.I'll let you know if anything eventful happens on the way there.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:28,
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Yeah Fanks for that(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:30,
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I searched for this and re-read most of the threadb3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1808932
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 6 Jun 2013, 16:53,
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