So anyway...
...the people behind top Cavy-moistener pic 'The Dark Crystal' are looking for fan submissions which they'll then make 'official'.

darkcrystal.com/authorquest/

Give me a precis of some /OT/b3ta fanfic that should make the official canon.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 10:56, 109 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

This is the standard we're looking for.
b3ta.com/talk/6879373
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 10:56, Reply)

The Luggage/Piston wrote some terrible stuff about Monty and FreeFair, which isn't really worth linking
And Al wrote this about Wet Ham Man and BGB: b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1317149
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:01, Reply)

Good lord.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:05, Reply)

fuck off you goblin prick

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:01, Reply)

Don't tell me this doesn't make you wet
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1824159
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:17, Reply)

Is linking things you've said that you think are funny your new "thing"?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:30, Reply)

It's this or BBC news.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:32, Reply)

It's because you've ruined /qotw, there's only limited spastisity now.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:33, Reply)

This sounds awful, really.
A football thread would actually be better, albeit marginally.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:05, Reply)

maybe we should talk about your racism and bigotry

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:06, Reply)

OK.
I'm free.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:13, Reply)

why would you want to read this shit?
you're worse than a furry
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:06, Reply)

alright swipoe?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:08, Reply)

can't complain, so i won't
how about you, the playboy of the western world (well, barnes)?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:14, Reply)

busy yet bored!
wedding this weekend, stag the weekend after, which will be fun
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:22, Reply)

WORST PLANNING EVER

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:25, Reply)

different folks innit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:27, Reply)

what you talking 'bout Willis

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:31, Reply)

Willis Battered
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:37, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1768256
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:14, Reply)

I've often imagined a scenario in which me and Windy Pig are private detectives
Fighting crime, getting into scrapes, loving the ladies, that sort of thing.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:06, Reply)

+Holistic

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:07, Reply)

shaggy and scooby

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:07, Reply)

RAGGY?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:13, Reply)

i always assumed they were like a stoned version of the famous five

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:16, Reply)

Operation Yewtree would have a field day with all the meddled kids

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:17, Reply)

I'd knock one out to that.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:12, Reply)

We're both VERY attractive men
And there'd always be a "will they-won't they" vibe to every show.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:13, Reply)

MoonShiteing

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:14, Reply)

Fart to Shart

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:14, Reply)

you should drive off a cliff like in Thelma and Lousie
but instead of doing it at the end do it at the beginnikng of the first episode. That'll keep them guessing!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:15, Reply)

We'll kill ourselves, or die trying!
Mind you, that is an interesting start to a story. The main protagonists killing themselves. The rest of the story is what lead them to that point. Ooh, that's good...Imma write that.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:27, Reply)

Randell and Hopkirk

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:38, Reply)

Starsky and Hats

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:16, Reply)

hahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:18, Reply)

Ginge and the Fat Man

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:28, Reply)

I can picture this
You could drive around in a Ford Capri with a furry leopardprint steering wheel cover, WinPi the hot-headed young rookie, you the wise, slightly world-weary, more mature partner.
You could maybe smoke a pipe as well, whereas he would smoke some trendy pink fags with gold filters or summat?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:15, Reply)

I got a bit of a semi typing that out
I don't mind admitting that.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:15, Reply)

Just a semi?
Sounds full lob on time.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:19, Reply)

I've wanted a pipe for a long time
I'd look awesome with a pipe. A big fucking Sherlock Holmes type thing.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:21, Reply)

You want to suck on the pink pipe?
I always had my suspicions
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:24, Reply)

What can I say?
I'm a 21st century guy.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:26, Reply)

remember to cup
its very important...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:39, Reply)

You could be all
"A dame walked in, with eyes like murder and I was all like 'What up, bitch?' and she was all 'My husband totes got killed and I can't pay but I'm well loose' and then me and Windy high-fived over her back"
( Kroney, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:21, Reply)

Woah hoh....now we're talking!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:22, Reply)

Totes Eiffel Towered her

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:23, Reply)

Then we LOL'd
We just....LOL'd.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:25, Reply)

A wisp of yoghurt filled the air as he drew the yurt flap back
"I've been expecting you" whispered tangles, laying back suggestively on the hand-woven reeds. He pulled back the covers, displaying his pubic dreadlocks.
The man bent down to enter, nibbling at tangle's proudly displayed acorn.
"GET ON YOUR KNEES BITCH" shouted tangles.
"I hate it when you make be be the HO HO HO" cried the Green Giant.....
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:37, Reply)

Clickin dis.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:37, Reply)

Have you been spying on me?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:39, Reply)

yes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:44, Reply)

The Frenchman had sex.
It was awkward, disappointing and embarrassing for all involved.
( Kroney, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:39, Reply)

"Heartfelt and honest ****"
Jonathon Woss
( Kroney, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:41, Reply)

I read this in the style of Jacques 'Jacques' Liverot

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:41, Reply)

Is this what Cap. Placid was banging on about this morning?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-22968566
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:46, Reply)

Naaah!
there's two high-ranking married tories in a gay affair which is under an injunction right now. Can't find out any more than the fact that an injunction has been granted.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:50, Reply)

Cameron and Gideon
Totes 69 after hours
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:51, Reply)

I'm not sure Gideon can count that high

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:54, Reply)

he uses his extra toes

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 11:56, Reply)

Cameron put a pic up on Twitter of a menu he was about to have at some G8 summit
Twitter were obviously outraged by this as it was about the same time trampy families were eating value beans on toast.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 12:27, Reply)

I wish they would do the sequel to this
(the film not the atrocities above)

Loved the film. Still quite a frightening tale today.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 12:13, Reply)