Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I really wish my burgundy wine glasses fitted into my dishwasher :(tell me your first world problems.
alt:What socks are you wearing? mine are spotty with an orange cuff, toe and heel.
altalt: i've had my lunch so i don't give a shit about yours
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 13:50,
193 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
i feel your data overload painWhen will people understand that it's not the data that matters, but the insight that can be delivered!
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 13:53,
Reply)
The insight is all done, but the commisioners like their graphs to point at in meetings.(, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 13:55, Reply)
I getchaThe old, "if we put up every piece of data it'll look like we've done more work/know what we're talking about"
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 13:56,
Reply)
What's this dip in the Graph???? That's Christmas, you can tell by the Dec-12 mark under it.
(, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 13:58, Reply)
I always wanted to be a acientist when I was a kid.(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:01,
Reply)
I accidentally ordered some spoof business cards from a US companyrather than a UK one, and now they won't turn up in time for this weekend when I need them. First World problem, right there.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 13:53,
Reply)
Going on a spoof business trip, by the looks of things.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 13:58,
Reply)
It's a stag do.It's a fairly convoluted story, but the stag appeared, along with myself, naked in a picture in a magazine about 15 years ago. I've got hold of the original image, cropped it to be just him, printed it on one side of the business card with the text "you can't buy this level of class" on the other side.
It seemed funny at the time but sadly they won't arrive in time.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:05,
Reply)
Save 'em for the wedding.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:08,
Reply)
This is probably the best planI've also contacted a local printer but they will probably charge loads, it's not funny enough to justify too much of an outlay.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:13,
Reply)
put them in phone boxes with a spare mobile number onsave the messages left and play at the wedding
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:10,
Reply)
This is a better idea(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:10,
Reply)
Or even this.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:13,
Reply)
where did battered go? 13 july is the answer to his question, i think(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 13:56,
Reply)
stop RUINING MY THREAD WITH YOUR "SOCIAL LIFE"(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 13:56,
Reply)
only girls and gays have diaries and I can't see any double-Ds on you short stuff(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 13:59,
Reply)
I say diary, I meant to say dribbled on YM's back in my harry. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:00,
Reply)
untruethe guy has a pair of moobs he can juggle like watermelons at half price
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:13,
Reply)
I'm going to spray cat piss on your pizza. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:16,
Reply)
it's still better than your normal "conversation"(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:18,
Reply)
Your birthday present turned up at the office todayI think my co-workers are worried about me now.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:09,
Reply)
I've already got plans on the 13th(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 13:59,
Reply)
it specifically says "anyone welcome except TUIB"(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:01,
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Where does it say that?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:06,
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it's written right across everyone's facesas stunned would say
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:13,
Reply)
My cleaner seems unwilling or unable to remove cobwebs.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 13:57,
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They probably think they are structurally integral to your yurt.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:00,
Reply)
can someone answer me this riddle please, thxIn a family, there are 7 sisters and each sister has 1 brother. If you count the father, how many males are there in the family?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:01,
Reply)
2unless you are talking about cousins and other such crap
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:01,
Reply)
Well done you, that was the answer I got, not 8, no siree(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:03,
Reply)
it's my dad's favourite dad-joke because i'm shit at mathsswipe can't understand why she's got 2 brothers, but her brothers have only got 1...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:07,
Reply)
hi, hi, hiexcuse me, mr kettle? could you just come over here for a minute? oh thank you.
mr pot ^here^ has something he wants to tell you...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:11,
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Is it about darkies?(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:27,
Reply)
alt: black, as I am a grown man who works in an officedrugs are bad, m'kay?
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:08,
Reply)
I just ate one of those big cookies that Sainsburies makebut now I want another one
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:10,
Reply)
Aren't there five in the bag?Go on, eat them all you fat shit
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:11,
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Only 4 if they are Taste the Difference onesand I hope you aren't suggesting Nakers is some kind of Sainburys standard cookie povvo.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:15,
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i'm assuming sainsburies tbh, some other cunt bought them for her birthday(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:16,
Reply)
I'm pretty sure that if there is an option to buy fewer cookies for more money, he will take it.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:16,
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i love the m&s chocolate chip shortbreadit's so soft and chocolatey and covered in sugar. it's like a grandmother's love, in a paper bag.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:12,
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I think we've all experienced your grandmother's chocolatey love at some point(, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:18, Reply)
which one?i had two. i didn't hatch from a reptile egg, unlike YOU.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:20,
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alt plain black. All my socks are the same. I never have to look for a pair. I just grab two from the drawer. Wacky socks are for cunts.
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Peej, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:24,
Reply)
If you got glass problems, I feel bad for ya sonI got 99 problems but a pitch(er) ain't one.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:28,
Reply)
My free Subway was crap.Alt: Non-matching blue socks.
AltAlt: See above
Monty will be happy, we're making a card for someone called 'S Patel'
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:37,
Reply)
Irregardless is a cunt wordI don't care how long its been wrongly used its still wrong.
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Peej, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:43,
Reply)
Yourn a cunt wordIrregardless
Adverb
Without paying attention to the present situation; despite the prevailing circumstances.
Synonyms
notwithstanding
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:45,
Reply)
How does that word differ from 'regardless'?- other than that a normal person would use the latter and a bent spastic the former.
(, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:47, Reply)
Irregardless means the same as regardless, but the negative prefix ir- merely duplicates the suffix -less, and is unnecessary. The word dates back to the 19th century, but is regarded as incorrect in standard English.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:47,
Reply)
I had a grasp of your mum;s tits last night(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:52,
Reply)
NoThe words inflammable and flammable both have the same meaning, ‘easily set on fire’. This might seem surprising, given that the prefix in- normally has a negative meaning (as in indirect and insufficient), and so it might be expected that inflammable would mean the opposite of flammable, i.e. ‘not easily set on fire’.
In fact, inflammable is formed using a different Latin prefix in-, which has the meaning ‘into’ and here has the effect of intensifying the meaning of the word in English.
Flammable is a far commoner word than inflammable and carries less risk of confusion.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:07,
Reply)
I'm using my spare flat panel television as a computer monitor in my bedroom of my London flatbecause my main flat panel television is in the sitting room. However, it is only a 720p display which, no matter how I fiddle, simply will not display text without looking oddly sharp and rough. I find this mildly, yet persistently, annoying.
I am wearing the grey sock of the unimaginative.
Is there something on the 13th? I wouldn't know. I haven't been personally invited.
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Kroney, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:42,
Reply)
Pixels are bigger in TVs than monitorsNowt you can do about that.
(, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:44, Reply)
he could lean a banjole next to the screen(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:45,
Reply)
Oh, fuck you, television manufacturers.What about smart TVs? What's the point in being able to display the internet on your television if it's just going to look like shit graffiti?
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Kroney, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:46,
Reply)
You're not meant to sit so close to a TV as you do to a monitorso when viewed from a distance the pixels look the same size.
Try a 640x480 VGA projector close up, looks like an old 8-bit Atari.
(, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:53, Reply)
It'll look like a shadow of your head, surely?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:23,
Reply)
Yeh there isAdjust the resolution until the text looks nice and clear. This has the advantage of making you feel like you are using your PC in 2001
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Peej, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:52,
Reply)
Doesn't work.All monitors have a native resolution and TVs can only display one.
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Kroney, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:54,
Reply)
Well thats bollocksI have a media center PC attached to 2 two TVs in my house and I can adjust the resolution in the control panel on both of them.
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Peej, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:58,
Reply)
It's not bollocks.The displays may be able to accept different resolutions, but it can't display them. It up or downsizes it to fit to the screen. That is why when you watch SD television on your HD TV, it doesn't display as a tiny box in the centre.
What you might be seeing is the TV's interpretation of the graphics card output. It isn't being truly displayed in the way a monitor would.
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Kroney, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:02,
Reply)
Well mine canI do exactly what I said so I can read text more easily on my 42" TV change the resolution, text becomes bigger spread over more pixels and can be read more easily.
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Peej, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:04,
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No, it can't. Not if it's a television.It is simply displaying the information the graphics card is sending to it. The graphics card is altering to whatever resolution you're asking for and the television is scaling that back to its one native resolution.
This is a pointless argument as TV and monitor resolutions aren't even the same thing. Point is, you're wrong.
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Kroney, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:06,
Reply)
It can if you reroute the signal through a dedicated graphics card, hook that up to the TV through the HDMI input then take the controller and repeatadly ram it up your cock end until you shit out an episode of Eldorado(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:09,
Reply)
I love it when people that have no idea what they're talking about argue with those that do because "BUT MY EYES SAY IT LOOKS DIFFERENT"
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Kroney, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:11,
Reply)
The only one making any sense in this tedious subthread is Nakers.Bury the rag deep in your face
For now's the time for your tears.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:13,
Reply)
Point is my TV has the ability to have more than one resolutionYou claimed TV's can only display one. I am telling you mine can display more than one.
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Peej, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:13,
Reply)
And you are wrong.You are wrong because you don't know what you're looking at.
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Kroney, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:15,
Reply)
You're just upset because I can make text easier to read on my TV and you can't(
Peej, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:20,
Reply)
I am annoyed because my television is shitty at interpolation.(
Kroney, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:22,
Reply)
i chnage my tv normal, vibrant, Hollywood day OR Hollywood nightI like it on normal
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:23,
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Even my fisher price macbook pro has three resolutions to choose from(
Peej, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:02,
Reply)
A macbook pro has a monitor attached to it, not a television.(
Kroney, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:04,
Reply)
Well my media centre PC has a a television attached to it and has about 20 options for screen res and they all look differentIn fact the setup in media centre as if you are attached to a television and still gives you lots of options for resolution. My shitty 19" flatscreen can display more than one resolution.
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Peej, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:07,
Reply)
No, the computer graphics card has different options. Not your television.(
Kroney, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:09,
Reply)
If you run the right resolution and you can see the pixels, you're too closeIf you run a different resolution all you'll do is blur it, and probably ruin your eyes into the bargain.
(, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:57, Reply)
What are you people on about?My gran has her PC on 800x600 because shes nearly blind, its makes it massive but not blurry.
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Peej, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:01,
Reply)
Depends on how close she isand if she's nearly blind she won't see the blurring anyway.
(, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:06, Reply)
I just set my mac to the lowest res.and I am sat about a foot away and it didn't blur.
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Peej, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:08,
Reply)
If it's a flat panel screen, it has a native resolution.This is the ONLY resolution that displays a true image. Every single other resolution is fiddled with by the GPU in a process called interpolation. This resizes the output to the native res of the monitor. It stretches it, or shrinks it. This can make the display look blurry.
If yours doesn't, you either have a very good GPU, or really shitty eyes.
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Kroney, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:14,
Reply)
NVIDIA GeForce GT 650M 1024 MBVery good for a laptop thanks.
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Peej, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:29,
Reply)
As above, your Mac monitor is not a TV.It will display any suitable resolution you choose, but it'll do it by grouping/dithering pixels to suit. This may make text appear blurred, depending on the native and set resolutions.
Whatever you set doesn't change the number of pixels shown, it just forces the electronics to do something clever to try and make them match up.
(, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:15, Reply)
I hate this subject particularlyMost users don't want to know about the relationship between resolution and size, so when they get a bigger monitor, they complain everything's too small, reduce the res, then complain cos they can't get any more on screen than they could before!
(, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:20, Reply)
Well, we should get around to PJ's housebecause apparently he's got a magical television that works in a completely different way to all others on Earth. We could make millions!
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Kroney, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:21,
Reply)
I got a Retina MBP, and it pisses me off that I can't pick a 'resolution', only a slider with 'smaller' to 'bigger'.And when I take screenshots, they're naturally double the size, but its annoying as none of my punters have one.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:36,
Reply)
Thats because the Retina has a native resolution of 2880×1800 which makes all the text look tinySo they have scaling. You get the benefit of Retina at any scaling, no other display/computer can do that. This is also the best interim solution considering the non-retina design of almost all software and websites.
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Peej, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 16:04,
Reply)
Yup, deffo. Doesn't make it non annoying though as someone who has to think in pixels =)(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 16:36,
Reply)
I've got a my living room telly connected to a computerit's 720p and the resolution is absolutely spot on. Mind you, it's connected through an AV amp.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:41,
Reply)
The amp doesn't affect the video.Now, please excuse me whilst I go and rage-hang myself.
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Kroney, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:43,
Reply)
I didn't particularly think it didI was just providing extra information. But the 720p part of your issue is clearly some kind of red herring, cos it doesn't cause me a problem.
Are you going through a VGA input or an HDMI/DVI?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:45,
Reply)
you make it sound like he needs to go to the STD clinic(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:47,
Reply)
well, obvs.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:48,
Reply)
but that would imply he gets someand, really, if you'd met him...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:51,
Reply)
It's a rendering issueit's not a red herring. You'll have different hardware, firmware and probably software to me. It's probably not comparable.
I'm going through a DVI output on the GPU, to an HDMI in on the television.
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Kroney, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:50,
Reply)
yes, I realise thatI thought you were saying it was a problem with 720p TVs and computers full stop, not just a random issue associated with the combination of stuff you have.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 16:40,
Reply)
£40 wine offer if you sign up to the Tory graphwww.telegraph.co.uk/subscriptions/digital/?WT.mc_id=601900 They email you a code through, I'll let you know if it works.
(, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:00, Reply)
Oh, you can only use it on 12 bottle cases...So you can get 12 bottles for like £40
(, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:09, Reply)
I think you've missed some of the point of wine if your only concern is volume compared to price(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:11,
Reply)
I must have, I bow down to your perfect taste.Anyway thinking about this one mainly for the Fitou.
wine.telegraph.co.uk/jsp/product/productDetails.jsp?productId=eprod420076
(, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:16, Reply)
I never said perfectjust that volume is not the only concern for many people
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:19,
Reply)
ITS A FUCKING CONCERN WHEN THE OFFER IS FOR CASES OF 12 BOTTLES ISN'T IT YOU BENT SPASTIC(, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:28, Reply)
1. I HAVE A £40 OFF VOUCHER FOR WINE2. THERE ARE LIMITS TO THE VOUCHER
3. THE LIMIT IS I HAVE TO BUY FROM A CERTAIN PLACE AND I HAVE TO BUY A CASE OF 12 BOTTLES
4. THAT MEANS I HAVE TO CONSIDER VOLUME WHEN BUYING THE WINE
5. YOU'RE A DICK
(, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:32, Reply)
Not as rude as your mum's gunt.It keeps butting in whenever I'm fucking her.
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Kroney, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:37,
Reply)
I know, but he's so fucking shit, even though I know he's trolling it still makes me angry.(, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:36, Reply)
Anyway I've found this I can get 12 bottles for £30wine.telegraph.co.uk/product/Conde-de-Cron-Vino-Tinto-NV/09652NV
(, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:40, Reply)
Which I'm sure everyone will agree is a great deal at £2.50 a bottle for Rioja.(, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:45, Reply)
I can't see them doing "deals" on cheap shit to mke money off mugs.(
Kroney, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:56,
Reply)
I bet he drinks it from a mug that says something lolarious on it"
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 16:02,
Reply)
Yeah', but if you catch a flight to Cyprus, then a 2 hour taxi ride to the north, then haggle with a shop owner, then get thrown out, then wait until night time and break into his shop, then steal 12 cases of plonk...... etc etc.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:22,
Reply)
you normally have to sign up for a subscription with these thingsWe do them at work
(, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:28, Reply)
first world problemsi got a message to say a parcel had arrived for me. i thought it was my lovely new abercrombie denim skirt. nooooooooooo. it's a fucking file of documents :(
alt: socks don't go with business suits (not the ones with skirts anyway). i am wearing sheer black hold-ups.
altalt: i just had some yorkie and a glass of milk, ta for asking
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:19,
Reply)
tell us about your new tie baris it going to make you look sexy, sexy as a denim destroyed miniskirt?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:26,
Reply)
it'll add to my suave man about town that likes to look after himself, but doesn't take himself too seriously(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:27,
Reply)
denim destroyed?Will everyone be able to see your yawning orangutan?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:28,
Reply)
yeah well, I was NFI to secret pizza bash V5(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:35,
Reply)
everyone is invited provided they aren't a screeching cuntthis is why tangles was specifically excluded
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:35,
Reply)
I hardly ever screech(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:40,
Reply)
that's not what i heardi heard you shrieked like a nun riding over cobbles without a saddle
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:45,
Reply)
She only invited Chompy and BatteredIt'll be the most lopsided Eiffel Tower in history.
(, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:39, Reply)
if i felt like getting stuck with the bill without a thank you, maybe(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:44,
Reply)
what did nakers describe it as once? a pot of sticky marmalade or something gingerist (and woefully inaccurate)?it was on the fucking popular page for DAYS :(((((((((((((
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:50,
Reply)
lols 5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post1887042#post1887049
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:54,
Reply)
the crotchless pvc ones?
looks like a red setter trying to escape from a bin bag
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 16:06,
Reply)
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