Why are you such a useless twat?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:27, 90 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

You tell me.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:30, Reply)

Who's there?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:30, Reply)

Because every time I fuck YM she gives me a biscuit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:30, Reply)

Well you are short of bread

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:32, Reply)

The sportsback has gone again
Stood up under the breakfast bar in the kitchen when laying the flooring = MASSIVE PAIN

Off to chiropractor tonight
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:31, Reply)

Careful, the mighty badger will accuse you of succumbing to quackery.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:32, Reply)

I'm a cow, not a duck
Morning BTW
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:33, Reply)

Morning sporters.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:35, Reply)

*doffs flat cap*
Are any of the jobs you are going for in town then?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:36, Reply)

Not at the moment.
I'm hoping to get an interview for one that is, though, but so far not heard anything. Closing date was only last Thursday, mind.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:37, Reply)

*crosses hooves*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:39, Reply)

Fucking ducks masquerading as the medically qualified.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:37, Reply)

And right on cue...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:38, Reply)

I think it's quite impressive that this is the first time I've been on here in several weeks
and my legacy is still living on, tbh. How is everyone?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:38, Reply)

Monty's skint, swipe's a fat ginger, Darth's still gay, Battered's got a job as a life model for Playmobil figures...
Same old same old, really.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:42, Reply)

Also, fucking candle and that.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:43, Reply)

I feel so special.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:44, Reply)

Funnily enough, it's nearly that time of year when one thinks 'did this person fuck a duck to get their doctorate? They sure as fuck didn't study any medicine'

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:38, Reply)

It's probably cancer. Give it 6 months.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:41, Reply)

i was just going to say, where is that hockey loving pink sock these days
and THERE HE IS!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:39, Reply)

its your age mate...
And please stop calling you wife "the flooring" (Badum)
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:32, Reply)

Lambinate

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:33, Reply)

Is this it... you make a big statement that you have started a new thread
and its this... Now I can appreciate that with a Napoleon complex you need to have some attention from time to time but really... You could have at least added something about a shitty B&W film. Or some bollocks music.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:31, Reply)

There's plenty of other pricks here to talk about crap like that.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:34, Reply)

probably cos I'm quite forgetful and disorganised tbh

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:34, Reply)

I'm fucking useless at remembering stuff at the moment

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:34, Reply)

I'm fucking useless at remembering stuff at the moment
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:34, Reply)

at the moment? generally these things aren't temporary

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:35, Reply)

MARRginal

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:36, Reply)

i've been taking lessons from you

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:35, Reply)

Because.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:36, Reply)

alright dad

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:36, Reply)

I can't help being useless at twattery, it doesn't come naturally to me, unlike your good self.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:36, Reply)

This thread has all the hallmarks of a peanutesque classic.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:37, Reply)

there is an element in common
(and it is VERY VERY common)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:37, Reply)

I'm going to piss all over your face on Saturday.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:41, Reply)

Will you two just get a room already?
All this mock denial isn't fooling anyone, you know.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:44, Reply)

Lets hope so!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:41, Reply)

What would you say is your greatest weakness?
Most annoying interview question ever
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:37, Reply)

reminds me of homer
"oh, i'm a workaholic" says candidate A
"i'm a perfectionist" says candidate B
"i'm lazy, i sleep on the job, i eat at my desk, i'm always late for work..."
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:38, Reply)

Christ, I had that one a few weeks ago.
I couldn't think of anything. I should have said "not having an answer for this type of question".
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:39, Reply)

"premature ejaculation", that's always a good answer

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:39, Reply)

officelol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:40, Reply)

unless you're on blind date

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:40, Reply)

It doesn't count as a blind date
if she's only blind because you've spunked in her eye
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:42, Reply)

'I'm a perfectionist - I don't know when to stop working on something because I just love working and I work so hard and shit?'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:39, Reply)

The clever answer to that is "I'm such a good liar because I practise all the time"

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:39, Reply)

'hard drugs'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:40, Reply)

'And workplace theft'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:40, Reply)

'kryptonite'

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:40, Reply)

"wanking into the photocopier"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:42, Reply)

"I really need to sort out my shots square of the wicket"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:45, Reply)

^ true fact^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:50, Reply)

"I openly leer over attractive female coworkers, and tend to get a bit gropey if I've been drinking the night before"

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:48, Reply)

Kleptomania and a chronic masturbation issue

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:56, Reply)

School
Well, it's either the years of relentless bullying (not buggery - that would at least have given me a fleeting sense of inclusion) that have led me to become this pathetic shell of a needy, self-hating, horribly insecure, unreliable, massively underachieving mess of neuroses, or else I'm just a pathetic shell of a needy, self-hating, horribly insecure, unreliable, massively underachieving mess of neuroses with no excuse for the same.

Whe's thirsty? I very suddenly need a pint
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:39, Reply)

You need to chill the fuck out
School was a while ago now. All the pricks are fat/bald/in jail/women

BE CALM
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:41, Reply)

That's even worse!
That makes me a pathetic shell of a needy, self-hating, horribly insecure, unreliable, massively underachieving mess of neuroses with no excuse for the same who can't let go of the past!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:43, Reply)

Glad to help

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:43, Reply)

I'm cancelling my doctor's appointment, counselling tomorrow night and all my forthcoming depressing workshops
and coming to your house
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:44, Reply)

Bring some beer
I'll fire up the BBQ

Dont forget the lube
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:47, Reply)

I assume you have a separate vegetarian BBQ?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:48, Reply)

Chicken is a vegetable, right?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:50, Reply)

hennel

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:52, Reply)

*golf claps*
Excellent
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:53, Reply)

roost potatoes

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:53, Reply)

chickory

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:53, Reply)

Cock-a-beaky?
Two for one right there.

POW.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:58, Reply)

Eggplant

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:59, Reply)

i think vegetarianism might be the source of all you problems

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:54, Reply)

He can't eat duck
Quacktose intolerance
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:54, Reply)

Oh dear, Sporters.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:58, Reply)

sorry sir

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 11:00, Reply)

Could well be
Maybe I just imagined them for the previous 20 years
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:58, Reply)

Yesm but with the power of meat inside you, you had the strength to bottle them all up!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 11:00, Reply)

So Friday to Monday then?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 11:01, Reply)

tl:dr ur bent lol

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:41, Reply)

Hells bells

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:45, Reply)

Memory like a sieve, incapable of even the simplest organisational tasks
thankfully I have my reputation as a chaste, moral paragon to see me through the difficult times.
( Kroney, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:54, Reply)

Kroney = southern Cow

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:55, Reply)

Only not French

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:55, Reply)

Because I am 6'3", Grumpy?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:57, Reply)

+the 6 3 3 6 ,
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 11:01, Reply)

Well this is just *brilliant*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 11:05, Reply)

yep good old baby bonapart made a cracker

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 11:09, Reply)

Well look what I have to work with. Bunch of pricks.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 11:10, Reply)

:o

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 11:12, Reply)

i did a better thread
a shiny new sparkly thread of wonder
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 11:12, Reply)

\o/

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 11:13, Reply)

I'm not
I'm fucking great.
( Peej, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 11:06, Reply)