'A GAME OF STONES'. by Lord LycraMatt of I'gh-Tee. Chapter One
Mince Gaydar threw back his rugged head and laughed a gruff, manly laugh, and quaffed a hornful of mead. 'Hahahaharrrgh'. All the other Lordlings really respected him and he was always having sex - REAL LIFE sex with actual women, for free and everything. Mince knew that Laird Wan'qorr, Thring Larpling and the rest of his band of outgoing, popular heroic warriors who were in no way spotty, pathetic IT knobbers by the way ACTUALLY, would carouse deep into the night that night, for their mighty quest was at an end. He stretched out on his wolfskin, and looked around his castle with satisfaction. Yes, his lair, Castle Flatt'shayre, was indeed a mighty domain. He beckoned to a maiden (with MASSIVE TITS) - she meekly obeyed and came to him. They always did....

To be continued....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:20, 176 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

haha

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:23, Reply)

do you need to roll a d20 now?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:28, Reply)

In order to parody something well like this, it requires a good understanding and often a deep love for the subject
Just sayin'
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:31, Reply)

A good point.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:31, Reply)

I read the first chapter.
It was deeply, deeply shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:32, Reply)

I think in matters such as these it is not unreasonable to judge them without wasting your time giving them a fair go.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:39, Reply)

The whole fucking lot of them are a Lord of the Rings/Conan hybrid.
Formulaic to an almost zen-like level and utterly without merit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:40, Reply)

I've never bothered with Tolkien either.
Sometimes you just know that something isn't for you.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:42, Reply)

The Hobbit was a childhood favourite of mine.
His expert knowledge of Northern European folklore/language etc made him capable of creating an entirely plausible world which every other prick since has struggled to come near to.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:44, Reply)

He taught my grandma at Oxford, fact faneroonies.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:46, Reply)

Helms deep is also based on Cheddar Gorge Factfans

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:47, Reply)

I was Helms Deep in YM last night

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:49, Reply)

I hope you didn't gorge yourself to much

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:50, Reply)

Now there's a money-spinning hole in the ground, if ever there was one.
50 quid it cost me to take the tangle family in there a month or so ago.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:52, Reply)

It's not even vegetarian Cheddar.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:53, Reply)

Calf-murdering yokel pricks.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:56, Reply)

I did the cheese factory tour it fucking reeks
There is a sweet shop there that makes taffy from scratch that you can go and watch.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:56, Reply)

Do they still race the open top coach down the gorge road?
It was worth the money just for that
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:54, Reply)

I watched the first part of the film a few weeks back and having also read the book
I can see that wingnut films or whatever are trying to milk the fuck out of it by stretching it over 3 parts
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:47, Reply)

Yup, there aren't three films in it.
It's one of the reasons it's a better book than Lord of the Rings, because it doesn't drag on so much.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:48, Reply)

I have read both and LOTR was extremely hard work at times

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:50, Reply)

Some heavy editing would have improved it a great deal.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:52, Reply)

The whole Tom Bombadill bit could be fucked off
They have introduced him in the "Unexpected Journey" film WHY....JUST WHY?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:55, Reply)

I hate Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Bikini.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:57, Reply)

It's no agadoo that's for sure

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:59, Reply)

I believe that's Black Lace.
He was the villain in 'Robin Hood: Men In Tights'
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:00, Reply)

stop wearing it then, no one's forcing you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:59, Reply)

Actually the reason I've been away was that I'd been Fritzl'd by Timmy Mallet.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:00, Reply)

Three times I've stopped after about 50-75 pages. I won't be trying it a fourth.
I got as far as halfway throughthe second film before I accepted that it bored me to tears in any form.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:54, Reply)

We read parts of it in school, something to do with first world war perspectives
So I thought I may as well wallow through the rest of it and wallow I did
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:01, Reply)

Last night I dreamt I'd written The Hobbit.
Woke up this morning and realised I'd been Tolkien in my sleep.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:15, Reply)

ho ho

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:31, Reply)

Add a 45 minute keyboard solo
And you've got yourself a prog album, sir.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:33, Reply)

Rather hypocritically, I'd be more prepared to pay attention to this sort of toss if presented in that format
Only slightly, mind.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:41, Reply)

www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0985490209
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 10:21, Reply)

Ha, I think if I read that it would lead me to make some (perhaps) unwise vinyl purchases.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 10:22, Reply)

Even that was too long and wordy for me to bother to read.
And yet I'd devour a TV version of this version too.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:47, Reply)

alright Scarpe.
I knew I mentioned quaffing mead you'd pop up.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:50, Reply)

I was attracted by the smell of geeks and bad hygiene.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:51, Reply)

Ruddy hell - it's scarpe, everyone!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:50, Reply)

I'm alive.
I figured with all the Paul Gascoigne stuff going on, you'd all be thinking about me.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:53, Reply)

He's one of the seven footballers I've heard of
I'm not aware of what 'stuff' he has going on though.
Has the booze finally killed him?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:57, Reply)

Almost.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:58, Reply)

I do hope so.
Ghastly fellow.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:59, Reply)

Oh, be fair, he's one of our most loveable wife beaters.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:01, Reply)

Haha I'm starting to almost like this irritating woman:
www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/07/10/katie-hopkins-paul-gascoigne-gazza-the-wright-stuff_n_3572381.html
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:01, Reply)

Me too, I like her style.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:06, Reply)

She's making trolling look like quite a luctrative career choice
Ok, it makes everyone think you're a cunt, but you can't argue with the results.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:07, Reply)

Liz Jones commands a six-figure salary and I doubt she even reads back what she writes.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:10, Reply)

It doesn't seem fair somehow
I type endless lines of bollocks all day every day, and I've never paid for it.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:11, Reply)

"Dhe should be starved of publicity" says the man shouting about her on twitter

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:17, Reply)

time to "ahem" Scarpe R everyone

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:57, Reply)

Hi scarpe, how's the penil-anal docking coming along?
\ac
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:15, Reply)

Apropos of nothing, I've been enjoying this

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:55, Reply)

*prepares*

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:56, Reply)

*does breathing exercises*

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:58, Reply)

Do I have a diddly hole?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:08, Reply)

There's only one way to find out!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:09, Reply)

Call Ken Dodd?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:10, Reply)

*tickles*
*yewtrees*
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:10, Reply)

Hi! I'm a big TV producer and I would like to offer you A MILLION POUNDS for this idea!

( Peej, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:56, Reply)

With the wife not putting out have you turned to men in drag?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:02, Reply)

As much as I think this parody is hilarious,
I'm a huge fan of fantasy, and your above statement that no other writers have created vibrant and believable fantasy worlds is poppycock
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:08, Reply)

Good morning

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:08, Reply)

Hi there

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:13, Reply)

Are you well?
Apart from the beer flu, of course.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:14, Reply)

I have to get my phone fixed, and then I have to get my car fixed, and then I have to go to the gym,
And they all involve talking to people that I don't want anything to do with and it makes me sad.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:23, Reply)

Can you not do all those things online now?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:26, Reply)

i get my car fixed online all them

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:28, Reply)

In English, please.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:30, Reply)

I reckon I can get the phone done online,
But a new tyre is a fairly physical problem, and I can't push cash through my router to my account.

Or is this a subtle link to yesterday's discussion of the death of paper mail?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:28, Reply)

Oh, and the bank.
My day is going to be full of plebs
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:26, Reply)

I'm just being 'controversial', dear boy. It's 'what I do'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:10, Reply)

Well, I'm taking an opposing stance and getting grumpy because I'm hungover and my phone is broke,
Meaning I have to go and speak to the fucking morons at Shitphone shithouse
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:12, Reply)

I got absolutely trounced last night.
Consequently my wee smells really quite worryingly bad this morning.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:13, Reply)

Is it bacon-y?
When I have a heavy night my wee smells bacon-y
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:14, Reply)

It smells like a cross between roast chicken crisps, varnish and organ failure.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:23, Reply)

Aaaaah....Pisto!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:28, Reply)

I haven't sniffed my wee,
But the smell coming from arse might actually be dangerous to plants and animals
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:16, Reply)

my wee is asparagus wee

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:17, Reply)

NO ONE FUCKING ASKED YOU DID THEY YOU CUNT?
But yeah, the cricket eh? I'm not working so I might watch it all day
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:21, Reply)

sounds like a plan, lets hope we rattle them out

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:27, Reply)

Asperger's WEE more like
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:23, Reply)

I want the continuation
I need to hear more about these "Massive Tits" of which you speak
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:11, Reply)

Cor! I hope she wears a corset in the next scene.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:11, Reply)

and says Zer
instead of Sir
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:15, Reply)

I hope they're not all pendulous and veiny

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:17, Reply)

Wasn't Tolkien a bit of a fascist?
Or communist, or something?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:14, Reply)

He hated Stalin
and was very anti Nazi, I have a feeling that he refused to allow a German translation of his books (at one point, this could however be bollocks)
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:18, Reply)

I stand corrected.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:19, Reply)

Dont stand corrected yet
That could be utter bullshit, it was just one of those things floating round the back of my brain.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:22, Reply)

I may ask Wikipedia.
Although B3TA is probably more factually correct.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:30, Reply)

Tolkien was my great uncles cousin
and he was massively racist. He hated darkies and made then the bad guys in all his books.
( Peej, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:57, Reply)

I prefer AA's life updates if I'm honest

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:14, Reply)

Hang on,
The RR Martin fella is coming to Oxford to visit the eagle and child, cos its where Tolkien and CS Lewis used to chill. But it's all a big secret, because he doesn't want a bunch of dickheads asking him for autographs and demanding he write more. I should definitely find a way to ruin his visit, especially as I'm leaving the company
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:20, Reply)

On St Giles?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:21, Reply)

No, the one on the fucking moon,

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:21, Reply)

wow you really are grumpy this morning

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:23, Reply)

Yeah, sox.
But you're right about st. Giles.

It's a horrible fucking Nicholsons now, the beer is too cold and the staff are all moron kids.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:26, Reply)

You wouldn't think Nicholson's pubs were horrible if the best thing M&B offered you were Ember Inns
/shitcityblog
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:27, Reply)

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaaaahahahaahahahahhhahahahahaha.
Ember.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:30, Reply)

:(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:31, Reply)

Where are you?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:32, Reply)

You never remember this, no matter how often I tell you.
Sometimes I wonder if you care about my feelings at all.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:34, Reply)

Sorry.
I just try and forget places like Coventry exist.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:37, Reply)

You might like it here
Fighting at taxi ranks is part of the local culture.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:38, Reply)

I almost got in a fight yesterday actually,

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:43, Reply)

Oh Windy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:46, Reply)

Its ok he was squaking at a mirror like a fiesty parrot

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:47, Reply)

It's alright, I walked away.guy was a dick though.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Jul 2013, 10:02, Reply)

Sorry, who are you again?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:37, Reply)

I... I'm...


no one, it doesn't matter :'(
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:40, Reply)

beard-o
beard-o
beard-o

I'll give you a clue, you have a beard.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:41, Reply)

TV japester Jeremy Beadle?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:48, Reply)

YOU@RE SOMEONE TO ME YOU NOSE FLUITE PLAYING WOMAD WANKER
gimme a "hemp hug"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:42, Reply)

You're just after some of this organic weed, aren't you?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:47, Reply)

Turn up lashed out of your head, quaffing a flagon of 'ayle' and kick his cock off.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:25, Reply)

And call him Ser instead of Sir

( Peej, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:58, Reply)

i read that as a hornful of meat
probably because his name is mince
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:34, Reply)

this is your sub-conscience telling you to eat a burger

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:36, Reply)

i bet my personal trainer/dietician tells me exactly that
my friend sam has done a similar programme, and when she told her guy about me, and said, could she do the paleo diet if she's veggie, his sympathetic response was: tell her to get over it, we're bloody omnivores.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:39, Reply)

you've got a hornful of meat all over your face.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:36, Reply)

or what your grandma used to call "thursday morning"

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:39, Reply)

she'd never speak with her mouthful
so it shows what you know!!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:41, Reply)

to be fair, just one cock wouldn't fill it anyway

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:42, Reply)

You want to see the goatse pictures.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:45, Reply)

i truely do

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:45, Reply)

underscoopfire.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Sarlacc-Pit.jpg
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:49, Reply)

yes but her mouth wasn't full
when she had three dirty vikings rubbing their horns full of meat all over her schnozz
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:43, Reply)

where the fuck is kroney?
my computer can't seem to get onto google. why not? where is he?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:44, Reply)

He's busy welcoming the Wermacht as they march down the broad tree-lined boulevards of Gay Paree.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:45, Reply)

ha
i, for one, bend over and welcome our new overlords
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:46, Reply)

I didn't know Greggs had staged a coup?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:50, Reply)

told you
5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post2012549#post2012562
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:50, Reply)

haha, How did I miss that?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:58, Reply)

I wrote the start of a fantasy story when I was at university, fact fans.
I didn't like the whole elves and gnomes of the wizard city of Thr''aappprrr style of most of them and thought I'd have a crack at writing something better. It had a sort of pseudo-science to it. I quite enjoyed it, but I'd probably never try finishing the damned thing. Fantasy is whack, yo.
( Kroney, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:56, Reply)

i've barely read any
but my basic understanding is that sci-fi is robots or space or futuristic shit, whereas fantasy is dragons and lances and magicians.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:57, Reply)

Most "science fiction" is really fantasy in space.
Proper sci-fi is quite a narrow genre.
( Kroney, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:58, Reply)

yeah so
why isn't my computer running google? why? whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:59, Reply)

Google it

( Peej, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 10:00, Reply)

Have you tried speaking to your local IT that might have some idea how your work machine is set up?
Or are you on that pink monstrosity you have at home?
( Kroney, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 10:01, Reply)

oh yeah, because any IT department in any firm, ever, bothers picking up the phone
i must have called 5 times since it stopped working yesterday... what do you all do, all day?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 10:03, Reply)

Have you tried clearing out your browser cache?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 10:04, Reply)

i have no idea what that even means
but i think it might do it automatically, cookies or something being disabled, maybe? it never seems to remember anything.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 10:09, Reply)

I'm on the phone to an idiot that doesn't know how to work a printer right now, actually.

( Kroney, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 10:04, Reply)

You're unlucky
we have strict rules on how long it should take to answer a call, how long to respond to an email, how long to accept a call and how long to fix it. Luckily I'm a developer so can ignore all that shit.
( Peej, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 10:13, Reply)

please enlighten us to the subtle yet important differences

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:59, Reply)

Science Fiction is supposed to be based in possible, theoretical science, I think.
I'm not really an expert on the subject. If it's all just pew pew lasers without any sort of explanation on how it works, it's space fantasy.
( Kroney, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 10:00, Reply)

So howw does tsr trek balance on this tricky tight rope?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 10:01, Reply)

It doesn't, really. It flops off either side, seemingly at a whim.

( Kroney, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 10:02, Reply)

Their pyjama uniforms whilst ridiculous and offering poor protection against both the elements and attack are in fact scientifically possible.

( Peej, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 10:03, Reply)

I'd be interested to know how the stories of William Gibson would be classified

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 10:01, Reply)

Dunno, never read them.

( Kroney, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 10:02, Reply)

Well worth a read

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 10:05, Reply)

Post Apocalyptic is the best yo!

( Peej, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 10:02, Reply)

I'm a fan of thsi genre, John Wyndham was excellent.
Have you seen a film called Threads? Made by Sheffield CND in the '80s, and written by Barry Hines. It's on Google video.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 10:06, Reply)

and the readers are all desperate pasty virgins

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:59, Reply)

that takes stones

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:59, Reply)

That's the IT department isn't it?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 10:03, Reply)