Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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well that killed the conversationwith all the hysteria that's going on at the moment, tell us what you love/hate about the great british public?
alt: so many people on fb last night posting about how they were scared of the thunder. wtf. it's in the sky. miles away. how can you be scared of that? which is worse: weather updates or new baby updates?
altalt: i would say "lunch" - but my new gym just emailed through my new hardcore diet plan, and it's more depressing than bella's cv.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:48,
214 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
your favourite forty shades of someone else's fault(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:52,
Reply)
him out of the bile council(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:42,
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I love how the British public have embraced the wonderful news of THE ROYAL BABY!
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:52,
Reply)
Says the boy who grew up in a skip round the back of some Scotch rubbish dump(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:57,
Reply)
says the tramp whose family have a derelict property in Scotchland.(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:58, Reply)
we don't even have that any more(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:07,
Reply)
have you seen those skips that have been all polished up and tiled as temporary swimming pools?you CAN polish a turd.
although most people don't use a hamster to do it
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:00,
Reply)
Validation!5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post2023742
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:54,
Reply)
The wilful ignorance of a lot of people frightens meFrom the sales of the Sun right up to the way people drive, no thought for others at all.
If anything's the legacy of the last 20-30 years or so, that's it.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:54, Reply)
things were always better in the past, FACT(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:56,
Reply)
Not at all. The 1970s were awful, strikes, three day week's, power cuts, etc.People just seem more willing there days to shit on others for next to no advantage, and I think it's very sad.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:58, Reply)
YM's minge was, that's a fact(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:58,
Reply)
I've never seen rain and thunder and lightening at it, it kept me up all night. There must have been a thunder at least once every two minutes.I think the only time i've seen heavier weather was when a tornadio went over my house while I was in it.
I made the train tracks go mental, they were like a strop light.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:55,
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Moody lights?(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:00,
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Generally they come across as thick and annoyingBut every so often they do something that makes you proud.
Like when that prick magician did that thing where he stood in a glass box for a week and everyone went down to flick pound coins at him.
Alt: It's simple, don't be friends with pricks on facebook.
Altalt: They're not expecting you to eat proper food now, are they?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:56,
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alt:
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:01,
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they areit's all structured and everything, and requires 3 sensible meals a day, 1 snack, and no skipped meals or diet coke :(
one portion of pasta is 2 tablespoons. i am thinking that it would be very hard to measure, as most shapes will just roll off the spoon. maybe that's the point.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:01,
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Two tablespoons is not a portion of pasta.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:06,
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for breakfast i get 3 tablespoons of dried porridge oats(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:13,
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Yep it did alt: I spent about two hours watching the lightning I have an amazing view from the back of my property.
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 10:57,
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The Guardian homepage now has a button saying "republican?"which blocks all news about the baby.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:03, Reply)
Clear, concise copy, good sports coverage and breasts on the second page.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:05,
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Still hot and sunny hereWhere's MY rain, eh? Bloody government.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:04,
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Peter Andre's less successful follow up to "Mysterious girl"(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:10,
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Out of interest, how much would you expect to pay for three pints of beer in your local?(
Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:08,
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I think it was about £2.50 for a pint of best last time I was in there, so £7.50(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:16,
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Actually this is not trueThe best bitter is about £3 a pint, it's a lower strength one that's £2.50
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:38,
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none of us want to go out with youcheap free beer or not
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:17,
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You not coming to the 'bash' with Monty and Mrs Monty etc, then?(
Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:29,
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What kind of person only drinks the cheapest beer; rather then one they'd normally go for?I don't get the point of that, unless you're a super cheapo tramp trying to bludgen the relenting fact that their life has become pathetic and they day's begging hasn't quite come out right.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:23,
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Yeah', but i'll live about 20% of it because it's my pint and I don't have to finish it if I don't want too.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:31,
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Someone on a limited budget?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:29,
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I'd rather have two pints of what i'd enjoy and a packet of crisps.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:32,
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Personally, I blame the hand santisers in hospitals, it's next to impossible to get pissed on them these days.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:34,
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Hmm, If you only have £10-£20 to buy booze on a night you're still going get the same amount of pints, just less change if you get what you want. (, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:33, Reply)
I refuse to drink crap beer, cheap or notIf all that's on offer is Aussie lager, Stella and keg bitter I stay sober, or have wine/spirits.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:34, Reply)
I refuse to stay sober, crap beer or not.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:35,
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Don't get me wrong, I'm very fussy if there's a choice.But if the choice is drink crap or stay sober, I'll choose the crap.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:39,
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I quite like a Smirnoff Ice.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:43,
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Nothing at all Swipey should pay for my beerwhoops wrong account let me sign in as Chompy
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:18,
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why the fuck would you pay any attention a diet plan provided by a gym?That's basically the same as following a series of brain surgery instructions provided by a plasterer.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:09,
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So what are you guys in Scotchland doing to celebrate the birth of your new leader?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:13,
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It's not the birth of anyone here's new leader.We'll all be dead before the mewling thing takes the throne. Who gives two short fucks?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:15,
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This, admittedly, is one of the few aspects of lol that I can garner from the royal birth - annoying the idiot Scotch nationalists.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:16,
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As an Englisher in ScotchlandI'm less inclined than most to have anything positive to say about Scottish Nationalists ... but in this case, they mostly aren't getting annoyed. They're doing what the rest of the sensible world should be doing and not giving the tiniest shit that two over-priveledged inbreds have managed to do what the parents of every single other one of the 7 billion of us on the planet have managed to do. All power to them. Until next week when I'll go back to calling them idiots again.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:22,
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i would like to see the maths next year as to what it costand what it did for the economy. if they are right and it adds £56M to the economy, then fine, they can put it in a few papers. nobody else's crotchfruit can do that!
if that turns out to be bollocks, then might as well kill it, and put its head on a stake at tower hill.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:25,
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There is no right or wrong about that kind of mathsbecause it's made up on the spot and demonstrably impossible to verify. It'll be based on rubbish like "£5M spent on champagne by people celebrating" but that's not added a penny to the economy, because had there been no baby that £5M would have been spent on Stella down the Dog & Mod-fingering on Friday instead anyway.
It's just horseshit put in the papers because otherwise they have to admit that there is genuinely fuck all newsworthy about a child being born.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:33,
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because i've paid them for itand it's been scientifically tailored following all the tests they did on me. there is no way it contains any snake oil.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:14,
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Of course not. Not if it contains SCIENCE.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:16,
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to be fair, the guidelines are useful re portion controland the reminder of how much to eat of each bit. left to myself i'll skip breakfast and dinner, which is a terrible way to eat.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:18,
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So you've answered your own question there.Basically "Don't be a pig, eat healthy stuff regularly, have some self respect."
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:25,
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Salad can fuck off, it's true, but meat is nice.Chocolate's boring. Deep-fried balls of salted fat rolled in sugar is where it's at.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:28,
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If you want to be a fatty, yes.People are only fat because they want to be. In these days of education for people in the west, the only reason people are fat is through laziness. Eating fruit and vegetables instead of McDonald's in order to lose weight is hardly rocket surgery.
Good on those who manage to make money out of telling people this, though - a fool and his money are soon parted - I know this from bitter experience.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:31,
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i think some people need a kick - i'm one of themi run/exercise 3 times a week, but i want to learn a bit more about it, and to improve my fitness and appearance rather than maintaining it. having regular gym sessions with a personal trainer will make me do more exercise, less eating out.
eating healthily yourself is no problem. it's the social life - if you're out every night and it's all about booze and food, it's hard. the gym will be an excuse to cut down on that!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:34,
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Well, yes. The trick is not to go out every night drinking and eating shit.Of course, this is easy for me, as I don't have any friends, as I am stupid, ignorant and ugly.
I don't see how having a personal trainer will make you do more exercise and less eating out - you've already made the decision to exercise and not eat out on that day.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:38,
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because, apparently, if you pay several hundred pounds a monthto be told something that a contestant on Britain must be Stopped could probably have worked out for themselves, given enough colours of crayon - then you are more likely to do it.
In fairness, I know a lot of people who follow this kind of approach, and they aren't all complete idiots, so, meh. Although most of them don't use gyms with "We saw you coming" stencilled on the front door, so tend to pay about 10 times less.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:41,
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Rofflcopter.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:50,
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Forget about all that - ligonberries are the future!www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2372891/Finnish-fruit-ligonberries-lower-blood-pressure-say-researchers.html
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:18,
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i thought a ligon was half tiger, half lion(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:23,
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i thought a liger was male lion, female tiger, and it was a big fierce beast (they have one in miami, it looked v sad and depressing)and a tigon was female lion, male tiger, and was rather a wuss in comparison?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:25,
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Of course it has, sweetie. Of course it has.There's a lot of people medically qualified in nutrition and sports physiology working as personal trainers in gyms, I find.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:19,
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nah, there are 3 people involved in thissome dr who is a nutritionist, some dr who is a physiotherapist (have to see him tomorrow, hope he's hot), then the personal trainer. who is at least a good advert for her own skills - there is not an ounce of wobble on that bitch.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:22,
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Gillian McKeith has a doctorate in "nutrition"she bought it from some US college for $3000.
If the person concerned was even vaguely qualified to help you with your diet, the word you're looking for is "dietician"
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:36,
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she is indeed a dietitian, according to the diet sheeti have misjudged her
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:37,
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jesus fuck, she must have fallen on hard times.where is her medical degree from?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:38,
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Hahaha 'medical degree'(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:40,
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If she's calling herself a dieticianshe should have a medical degree. Medically protected term, innit? or it used to be. Of course, she could just be a "fucking liar" - it's not like people taking diet advice from a bloody gym are likely to check.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:42,
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What about those stones things? Is there anything in that? You know, the red shiney ones that promote healthy living.So many people believe in that it makes me thing there might be something to it.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:41,
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Wow is there no end to what Supermatt can do?(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:42,
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I've no idea what you're banging on about, matewhat red stones?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:43,
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You know, those shiney stones that does stuff like promote healthy living or helps ward off bad spirits like Cancer.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:46,
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Like this one, they've got a website, must be something to it.crystal-cure.com/
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:47,
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I genuinely don't know.Is it because it's so far off the woo bollocks scale it's actually come out the other side and I've missed it?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:48,
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Oh, CRYSTALS.Yeah ... shiny stones.
the mythical power of small inert pieces of rock. What can I say, Gonz? a lot of people believe in it because a lot of people are fucking retards that should have been drowned at birth for the good of humanity.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:50,
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But it's fair to say that there are people who believed in crystals who haven't got cancer.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:55,
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yeah. 100% of non-smokers die of non-smoking related conditions, too.So really we should all smoke.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:57,
Reply)
Groups of people consisting of more than 5 tend to be utter wankers in need of a good shooting.This is because they are stupid, ignorant, and, generally, ugly.
They post inane nonsense like "I'm scared of thunder" because they think it will get them attention for being cute.
I'm not all that impressed with humanity, generally.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:14,
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someone should thunder fuck them to teach them a lesson(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:17,
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I recommended standing under the tallest tree with sheet metal to one friendYet people think I'm cruel, I was only trying to help them die
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:20,
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To help the odds he should also be playing golf(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:22,
Reply)
or fishing with an 12 metre carbon fibre pole, to get closer to the action(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:27, Reply)
and flying a kite(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:28,
Reply)
PeopleAlt: Bunch of wusses
AltAlt: Chicken salad sandwich and mugshot, as per usual. Oven roasted pork with onions, garlic, mushrooms and rice for dinner though, rather looking forward to that.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:18,
Reply)
I prefer to roast my meat elsewhere than an oven(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:21,
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You've got your letters the wrong way around there luv(
Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:25,
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This.www.dailymail.co.uk/home/index.html
Royal doctor and hairdresser visit, ffs. Hatehatehate.
Do you really need such a drastic diet? And why no Diet Coke?
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:25, Reply)
yesit was an overall package, and there's no point paying for it, and ignoring the diet part.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:28,
Reply)
there is when the diet part is almost certainly demonstrably total bollocks.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:37,
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to be fiar you've not actually demostrated that at allmore assumed, the ENEMY of good science
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:42,
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You could tell us all about the holiday that you booked(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:36,
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what I'm really bored of is people talking abouty the royal baby, just shut up already!(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:41,
Reply)
who was the best Grange Hill character?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:39,
Reply)
never watched it, it was full of common oiks(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:40,
Reply)
Tucker(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:41,
Reply)
Tucker, Benny and Alan(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:43,
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I once saw Benny Green at Carnival,He was wearing a muslim hat.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:45,
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I gather he no longer has his afro then(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:48,
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Georgina HayesShe made my winky feel funny
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:42,
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I liked it when it was the end of term discoand Susan Tully turned up dressed as Boy George.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:46,
Reply)
I've changed my mind I'll go for Mr Geoff 'Bullet' Baxter
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:56,
Reply)
He truly was(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 12:02,
Reply)
has anyone got one of those magnetic bracelets, I have a sore wrist and I reckon it ,ight help(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:42,
Reply)
I can sell you one for 30 quid.I think humanity's probably just about tipped over the stupidity threshold where anything I do against this sort of bollocks is just pissing into a hurricane, so I might as well profit from it.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:47,
Reply)
Just send him a belt, he wont realise(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:48,
Reply)
just totally undercut Chompy, tooand mine is guaranteed to be at least 100% as effective as more expensive magnetic bracelets.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:51,
Reply)
Mine has been prayed over by a buddist. You can't assign a statistic to that sort of value.(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:53, Reply)
I took mine from the lab of a theoretical physicist. SCIENCE.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:56,
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Of course it does.same as everything.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 12:03,
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Well i guess it should be twice as good as Badger's(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:56,
Reply)
I like the idea of thisio9.com/what-you-need-to-know-about-getting-magnetic-finger-imp-813537993
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:55,
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yeah, no way is the loss of sensation from have a magnet under the skin going to be annoying(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 11:59,
Reply)
Comes back though that article said.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 12:26,
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I don't think you need an internal one, you could have like a lip-ring only in your finger.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 12:26,
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so, just a regular ring then(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 12:47,
Reply)
Oh, my lifethere's so much bollocks in that it could be a pack of Tesco value sausages.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 12:03,
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I reckon if I put it in the fleshy bit between my Victory fingers on my left and and it'll be quite good.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 12:20,
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oh thank the Lord, it's pissing it down(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 12:02,
Reply)
I am creating a specialDihydrogen Monoxide cleansing system, if anyone wants in at £100 a share
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 12:07, Reply)
I think we have all been on google at some point...For this one it was several years ago and it popped back into my head.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 12:10, Reply)
two chemists went into a barthe first on asked for a pint of H2O
the second one said "Oh, I'll have a pint of H2O too!"
the second one died.
LOLLERS.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 12:20,
Reply)
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