Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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What do people believe about you that isn't correct?Alt: my iPad keyboard is really starting to fuck me off. What technological elements of your life annoy you?
yes, I know it's not the best of threads, but it's got to be better than the one below.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 8:36,
190 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
"What do believe about you?"The fuck?
EDIT: Bastard.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 8:36,
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People think I'm alright, but I'm not.Alt: The annoying second or so my phone takes to go to contacts. It should be immediate. It isn't.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 8:45,
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That I'm a dull wanker.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 8:46,
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I have a horrible feeling that most of the things people believe about me are true :o((
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 8:47,
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Such as your homosexuality and promiscuity down the docks?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 8:48,
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The fact that you're nearly 40, but look closer to 60?(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:20,
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Nothing. I stand guilty as charged.Alt: When you log on to an internet messageboard and there are nothing but shit threads.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 8:47,
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Alt: no Internet in my new house. Well 3G but that's shite.Hi battered
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 8:48,
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alright ladcoming out to Jeffstock?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 8:49,
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I owe you a kidney.I don't even know when it is, ill have a ganders at the calendar now.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 8:52,
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couplea weeksI'll settle for a pint
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 8:52,
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I agree to these terms. (
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 8:53,
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I warn you, he bailed last timehe's like the anti-Dozer.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:21,
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I hope he doesn't develop 'emergency diabetes' like Bart.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:28,
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Alright bob. I'm still waiting for broadband in my new place an' all. Should be done by the 21st. Annoying. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 8:49,
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12th for me. It's a pain in the arse. New place? I thought you loved your house?(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 8:52,
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Getting divorced innit. Moved out. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 8:54,
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Sorry to hear that. Genuinely innit(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 8:57,
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Thanks. It's for the best in the long term, particularly for my daughter. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 8:57,
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Never mind, keep up the fags and they'll cut it off for you in a year or so.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:17,
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people believe that I am able to start a thread that is both witty and liable to start many replies.
This is evidently wrong.
Alt: Phones, possibly the rudest thing on the planet, you wouldn't accept someone walking into your office in the middle of a meeting demanding attention but if your phone rings and you are in a meeting people often answer it
(, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 8:49, Reply)
DunnoPeople are either nice to me, or ignore me completely.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 8:54,
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I think you've only got one hat.There, I said it.
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Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 8:57,
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I can never find a hat that either fits or looks goodI seem to have an unusually large head
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 8:59,
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Which probably explains why me and my mother don't get on(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 8:59,
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WowImagine what our children would look like, Frisbee
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:05,
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Like god would have entered the big-head cheat on our family :'((
Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:06,
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Well on the bright side, I know where my USB key went :((
Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:12,
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Funnily enough I went to the Albert Hall a little while agoIt didn't occur to me to search for any testicles. I should've asked someone.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:09,
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YEAH? WELL I THINK YOU'RE A FUCKING CUNT! (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:27,
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Yeah rightLike you've ever thought anything in your life
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:28,
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I once thought about licking your bald head. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:31,
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Well I only just shaved itSo it's as smooth as a honeydew melon
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:33,
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Well, that's my 3rd boner of the day. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:35,
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Well that seems more realistic.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:49,
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I've seen your face and I know you're not a frisbee(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:33,
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+although I would like to see it caught in a dog's jaws(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:37,
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I'm a mean-spirited bastard and no mistake(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:56,
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It's nice that you're missing me, but you need to learn to understand and accept your emotions rather than blindly lashing out with rage(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:22,
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I'm really from PeckhamAlt:
Computers are "fucking shite". If they worked properly and correctly all the time, Kroney and I would be unemployed.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:06,
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'Working properly and correctly' is no obstacle to your average office drone mashing the keyboard in despair and phoning ITAbout 50% of my office phone up panicking every time a piece of software they use every day pops up with an upgrade notification.
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:11,
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I'm having Java woes at the moment(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:13,
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I can only open one excel doc at a time or it has a spas (
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:23,
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"Hi, I've had a message pop up on my screen""What does it say?"
"To finish updates restart, with buttons that say 'now' or 'later'"
"OK?"
"So what do I do?"
"I don't follow"
"Do I restart now or later?"
"Er...well, do you want to restart now?"
"No"
"Then maybe hit the 'later' button".
^This conversation happened.
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Kroney, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:42,
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I honestly don't know.But the amount of stupid conversations I'll take before going on an office shooting spree are now measured in single figures.
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Kroney, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:45,
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I do feel sorry for youbut wonder if perhaps this line of work is really 'you'?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:07,
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That my name is indeed 'Bill Clay'Alt: Thanks to the combined powers of morning TV and the interwebs I have so far this morning been subjected to David Cameron's pasty moonface and multiple images of 'Cooked Whole Chicken In A Can'. *dry heaves*
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:08,
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Oh dear.https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/969091_10153111270835177_1754703631_n.jpg
This popped up on my facebook feed.
Q - That I work in porn. It's just not true. The rumours even spread as far back as my home town. Strange, strange people.
AltQ - Backing up my NAS. Make it simple plz.
(, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:11, Reply)
fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/969091_10153111270835177_1754703631_n.jpg
(, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:18, Reply)
What’s important is that I’ve said sorry.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:36,
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I have never killed a man. Alt. Stupid people being allowed access to the Internet.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:13,
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Not you bonzo, please don't go. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:22,
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That I'm a people personyouse can all fuck off, to be honest.
Alt: I spilt wine on my laptop keyboard a couple of weeks ago and fucked it. I have a USB keyboard and it's fine except that every so often the laptop keyboard spazzes out and just starts sending a random key in an unstoppable////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:18,
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Luckily you had something to eat and the laptop repaired itself, right?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:33,
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No idea. Probably all sorts of things. I am annoyed that I can't get Word 2013 to maintain different types of endnote citations in the same document. I've been trying for over an hour. Do not understand.
(, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:20, Reply)
This guy can helpwww.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-23601984
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:29,
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Alright double millinery topped person? Totes going to nag that guy to do my homework.
(, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:31, Reply)
Worth a tryMight be worth flashing him a bit of ankle. Let's be honest...he'll probably be thankful for the attention.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:35,
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Can't I just like, show a toe and get away with that? Not sure I want to show so much as ankle.
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That's dangerous territoryHe might be a toe person
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:48,
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Yeah, elbows are pretty safeI can't say that I've ever seen a sexy one
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:51,
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What sort of monster has more than one type of endnote citation?It's people like you who are ruining academia.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:30,
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It's a stupid assignment. I have to submit the same document with both Nature and Cell formatting, and then a final one using Cambridge. It's annoying as fuck. It's people like my unit chair who are ruining academia.
(, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:31, Reply)
I'm not sure it's possible to ruin something as inane as "academia".(
Kroney, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:44,
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Is she hot? I assume she's hot, otherwise why would anybody want to sit on her?(
Kroney, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:00,
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Dontcha wish your mother was hot like me....DONTCHA
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:16,
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I don't like opening packets of rice or pasta but I find airline food acceptablethis is for the alt I guess I don't know
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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:30,
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Those fucking juice carton tops where there's a hinged plastic openingand a silver pull-out tab are worse. Fucking cunts.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:35,
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why can't we be living like the jetsons yet monty?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:39,
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It's a question I ask myself every single day.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:52,
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Good Morning.That I am the Messiah.
alt. Nearly all of them.
Just bought a book about iPad. What's yours doing wrong? It may be in there.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:57,
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What his iPad is "doing wrong"is not correctly interpreting his hamfisted smashing of its keyboard properly. I'd prescribe a course of not being a fat-fingered oaf.
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Kroney, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 9:59,
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Or failing that, at least read back what gobbledygook he has mashed into it before posting.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:07,
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I think I just need to turn off auto complete.I've now tethered my phone to my laptop which should be better.
Certainly a quicker connection than I was expecting. Good old 4G.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:19,
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Yer. Turned mine off too.I was forever saying to it, "I never said that, you bastard!"
I was surprised with Siri though. Typing feature is more accurate than I expected.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:25,
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Never used Siri. My daughter (23 months old) has managed to activate it several times though. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:28,
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Yes indeedwww.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-south-scotland-23608812
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:01,
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The thing that annoys me about thisIs that since when has 'bad taste' been a problem when it comes to making people laugh? Isn't the 'famous british humour' been about bad taste and toilet humour? Grow up or fuck off.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:10,
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I'd love to see someone, instead of that 'I had a lapse of judgement and I'm sorry' thing,say 'It was a fucking joke. What's wrong with you people? Are you going to let the tabloids tell you what to be upset about all your lives?'.
Of course, it would have to be somebody who can afford never to work again...
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:20,
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DefinitelyI'd also like a politician say "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??? I'M LITERALLY TRYING TO MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY HERE!! DO YOU THINK THAT'S EASY??? FUCK!!! JUST GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK, AND JUST FUCKING TRY IT OK?? JUST TRY NOT BEING PRICKS FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND AND MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, THINGS WILL IMPROVE!! FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!"
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:28,
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its the fucking hand wringing online martyrs/ grief tourists that wind me up. and have created this situation where we have to be shocked
(, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:45, Reply)
I'm really not a workshy layabout who stays in bed till lunch, then goes back for a post-prandial nap.I am, however, a housewhale.
Alt: the bulb in my bathroom blew over a week ago, and the only time I remember it needs replacing is when I try to switch it on at night. Gah.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:15,
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Some might sayThat you've remembered it now....GO DO IT!
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:16,
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Housewhale? I just have an image in my head of a giant house underwater, singing whale songs.(, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:24, Reply)
Who want's to read a fucking shit article???www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/aug/07/10-rules-managing-penis-sexting-wine-toaster
(, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:20, Reply)
Well, that's made any other article she writes pretty much pointless.(, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:25, Reply)
I don't know if this one is shitter or not.www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2386420/Did-TELEPATHY-make-young-engineers-kill-Official-s-bizarre-theory-spate-deaths-military-research-site.html#comments
(, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:26, Reply)
I liked this...and 'liked' itb3ta.com/talk/7673546
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:38,
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Would someone please start a new thread?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:38,
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and instantly fucking STOMPED by Boyce(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:40,
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Most of my memes are at least 60% untrue.I think only the steam punk one is totally untrue though.
Alt: not a fan of every fucking thing being touch-screen, I miss buttons. every phone trying to be an iphone is a bit stupid too.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:01,
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