b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Off Topic » Post 207693 | Search
This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

« Go Back | Popular

Morning all
I'm a lot less tired this morning than I have been the rest of the week and looking forward to going in to work to see how the hedgehog's doing. Then I'm going to hang out with another b3tan after work and have some fun :)

Photobucket
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 8:46, 233 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
Morning miss beckyletters!
I woke up this morning and thought it was Thursday. I nearly wept with happiness when I realised it was Friday and weekend fun can begin this afternoon! Hurrah!
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 8:51, Reply)
Morning me lovely
nice to see you on here instead of just reading your day's posts.

Oops, didn't know fireflier had started a HSH thread just before me. Sorry.

Feel free to use the other one as I'm off to work now
xx
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 8:56, Reply)
S'alright - great minds think alike
I've shuffled things so that this is the main one.

Say hello to hedgepig for us!
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 8:57, Reply)
Enjoy work
say hello to the hedgehog from me.
edit: morning fireflier!
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 8:58, Reply)
Sup dawgs
hows it hanging?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:04, Reply)
@al
that says a lot more about your mind than it does about me.
I don't think i've ever become moist with excitement. However I once was sick in my mouth when I saw a chow chow puppy on the tube and couldn't contain myself.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:05, Reply)
@ wanderlust
Puking over a puppy? My thoughts of you have changed.

@ Al

Tis hanging as per usual dude. Sup your end?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:07, Reply)
Good morning all.
I have a poorly foot so will not be doing any dancing today.

Just thought I'd share that with you.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:08, Reply)
@ BGB
Aww, what did you do to it?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:09, Reply)
@al
well, not ever. But not because I've woken up and realised it's friday. Waking up and realising it's Saturday however...

@ethel...What's wrong with getting puppy sick?!
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:11, Reply)
@ Al
I'm sure the Japanese "Research" ships have some spare...

@ wanderlust

Well I've not puked over any animals I must say, 'tis a novel new activity which I am not accustomed to, hence Teh Fear.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:11, Reply)
@Etherlred
Buggered if I know. One minute it was fine, the next it felt like it was sprained.

I still went out yesterday for my walk though. Might have been a silly thing to do but what the hell.

What is everyone doing this weekend?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:13, Reply)
Morning all
I'm a bit late this morning. Had to take my car to the garage again. Bloody thing.

How's everyone?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:15, Reply)
@ BGB
Nothing like a good bit of prolonged pain to wish the weekend in sooner!

Last night's Kickboxing has taken its toll on me today, bit achy!
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:15, Reply)
@ K9k7
Morning chap, how art thou on this glorious day?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:16, Reply)
@Al
You always seem to be going to weddings. Always the usher and never the groom. You want to have a word with your sweetie about that.

Edit - Hi Miss Lust.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:19, Reply)
morning Mr K
and bgb as I haven't said hello yet.

I'm all bouncy today (mind out of the gutter please mr geordie) as I'm going to see a midsummer night's dream in Regents park tomorrow. I just hope it doesn't rain! Also having bbq fun saturday night!
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:19, Reply)
@Mr Unready
Apart from expecting a big bill for my car, and the weather being crap, I'm fine, thanks!

I was reading last night's thread just now, and noticed Madam Marlboro said her heartbeat was a healthy 94bpm. WTF? Mine's 58bpm at rest, and only hits 140bpm when I'm exercising quite hard. Either I'm really fit, or nearly dead.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:21, Reply)
It is
lovely and sunny here.

whats wrong with ya motor guv'?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:25, Reply)
Mornin all.
It's sunny, so I must go out and do something.
Plans for the weekend involve Kaol, Ancrenne, Vipros and Spak.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:28, Reply)
Woo yey
My number 1 fan is here!

Morning Clendrix :)
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:29, Reply)
@Clendrix
*sulks*

I want to live down south.


(Well, I'd rather you all lived further north to be honest).
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:30, Reply)
They involve me?
All the best plans involve me.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:31, Reply)
Morning all
Thought I'd stop by before I head off.

I should really start packing too.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:32, Reply)
My aircon
is dead, Ethelred.

I had a broken pipe fixed two months back but it's stopped working again and the compressor's making a noise. I can hear it eating my money...

Morning clendrix, Kaol.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:34, Reply)
Oh dear
I've not got air con, so I can share some of your pain for you.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:36, Reply)
All you have to do
Is open the windows, and put sunglasses on.

Sunglasses alone drop how hot you feel by about 20%.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:38, Reply)
A question for London-area people:
What's the weather like down there today?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:40, Reply)
It's hot.
And sunny.

However, I'm slightly north-east of London.

Only about an hour away by car though.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:42, Reply)
Right
So I'm pretty much just going to melt all the way down in the car today then.

Brilliant.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:42, Reply)
Answer from London
It's lovely, thank you!

AND GOOD MORNING TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD MORNING!
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:42, Reply)
Hello Ethel!
How are you? Glad to see you're here regularly now!

The weather is warm and the sky is mainly blue.

Edit: DiT, thank you for your Brian Blessed style greeting!
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:43, Reply)
I'm currently
slightly south west of London, about 20 mins away.

Its glorious sunshine and cloudless skies.

I'm stuck in an office :(

@ Clendrix

I'm doing good thanks, how are you?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:43, Reply)
good morning everyone
it's Friday, but not for me, so I brought some tiramisu and a whole bunch of spoons.

dig in my lovelies
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:44, Reply)
PoD
I'm wearing jeans, army boots and a black t shirt, and I'm ok.

You'll be fine.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:45, Reply)
Morning HLT
:)
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:47, Reply)
good morning o red of the ethels
how goes it?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:49, Reply)
Fact for you, Kaol
Driving at 60mph with the windows down, the increased drag uses more fuel than the aircon would. And it's a lot noisier too.

I agree with you on the sunglasses though.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:49, Reply)
@ HLT
Doing funky fine on this fantastic Friday Fanks.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:50, Reply)
Right, that's it.
I'm smashing up my computer. Quitting work and going to sit in the sunshine.
Anyone want to come with?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:50, Reply)
Morning, HLT
Do you work on a different calendar in the Borders? It was still the weekend on Monday, and it appears that today's not Friday.

*accepts spoon*

*digs in to tiramisu*

*noms*
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:51, Reply)
Yep, I've heard that before K.
But to be fair, you get a lot more cool-points for turning the music on full, sticking shades on and dropping the windows.

*nods*
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:51, Reply)
@ al
at least you HAVE a window. not just a glass hatch that opens into another enclosed part of the workspace.

edit@k2k6 - yes, cos I'm working Tues-Sats at the moment. i hope your car gets better soon btw and stops eating all your money.

*noms money*
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:53, Reply)
Yeah, I don't
Have any outside windows here.
Which is rubbish.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:54, Reply)
Unless you use the tube in the summer time...
You have no concept of what it's like to be hot. ;)
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:54, Reply)
Air con
Uses on average 7 BHP, and the compressor will still use more energy to spin when switched off.

Opening windows uses an extra 3% fuel.

Depends on how you drive it, if you're on the motorway, air con would be cheaper, at 20 - 30 i doubt windows would affect you too much
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:55, Reply)
DiT
I've gotta come through the Victoria line at half five tonight, with a weeks-worth of clothes in a bag, and the leather jacket that won't fit in it on my back.

I'm gonna stab some bitches.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:57, Reply)
@Kaol
I don't know if I could get any cool points in a dirty Laguna with an oil leak...and you should see the contents of my iPod!

@al - I believe the break even point is about 50mph in most cars. That's where air resistance starts to become significant, and opening the windows disrupts the airflow over the car quite badly.

In town it's far better to have the windows down though, as using the aircon in stop-start traffic adds a lot to fuel consumption. Also, fuel economy of most cars is worse at low speeds. Between 50 and 60mph is usually the most economical, in terms of mpg.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:57, Reply)
Ah, yes DiT
I share your pain. One morning, the Northern Line was 100 degrees by 9am.
Remember to factor in too many people and several men who don't understand the concept of deodorant, or indeed washing off yesterday's sweat.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:57, Reply)
I'm currently listening to...
Marvin Gaye - Sexual Healing.

*Sways and bobs*
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:58, Reply)
I misread tube as lube
I should think both instances are correct.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:59, Reply)
*heats lube*
*applies*

Gah! It burns! It burns meeeeee!

EDIT: That's 'burns' and not 'bums'...
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:03, Reply)
@ al
it IS nice, isn't it!

but no, hot lube would be bad.

unless you were camping and it was really, REALLY cold.

then it might be nice.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:03, Reply)
100°F
is only a very small amount above normal blood temperature. I should think that would be quite a pleasant temperature for your lube!
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:03, Reply)
*frowns*
My colleague has just arrived. Amongst his first words to me were "You look like shit".

gee, thanks.

Why are people really quick to say things like "Ooh, you look tired" or indeed "You look like shit", but never nice things when the nice things are true?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:07, Reply)
HLT
That's because if you say to somebody "You look stunning today, I'd like nothing more than to bend you over your desk and fuck you senseless", legal action normally follows.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:08, Reply)
I wouldn't mind
if someone said about the bending over the desk thing.

But Tulip is right; people are twats.*

*That's how I interpreted it, anyway.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:10, Reply)
Oh...
Well... What if it was Other Radiohead T Shirt Guy?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:13, Reply)
It's not even lunchtime yet.
And we've already got conversations about lube and bending over desks.

God! I love this place : )
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:18, Reply)
@al
aww, thanks lovey. ain't you the cutest.

re the "stunning/bend/desk/fuck" comment, well it's nice if people are honest.

and if someone said that to me for real, that would keep me going for weeks

or at least until I got the injunction
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:19, Reply)
If it was ORHTG
I would be very amused indeed to think he could even do it!

I still wouldn't mind. I wouldn't necessarily do it though.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:19, Reply)
HOO-RAH
It's friday, my boss is on annual leave and I'm off to Ping Pong for some nosh this evening.

The b3tards are squawking and is well with the world.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand relax...
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:20, Reply)
Weather update
from oop north. It's hot and sunny. so much for all the thunderstorms and torrential rain we were promised.

Morning chaps (and chappesses). I'm off to give blood in a bit. I'll snaffle a few biscuits for everyone.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:23, Reply)
@Al
Is this a family wedding you're gong to tomorrow? There might be a fight!

@HLT - I'm sure you look lovely this morning and I'd really like to....stop here before I say anything which may get me into bother. :-)
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:28, Reply)
Al, my favourite bit
is the bit where the guy who already beat John up came back out and did it again. I don't know why, it just is.

Great story.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:28, Reply)
Wooo
I'm packed! It took all of half an hour, including finding stuff strewn throughout my room.

What hoorahs!

Your family's mental al.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:34, Reply)
Ah, the family punch-up!
This is why only selected members of my family even know that I'm getting married.

I can't face another drawn out argument between gin-soaked and hormonal women about the way they looked when they were given a pair of socks in 1967, only to have one of their husbands decide that the only way to defend their honour is to put their fist through someone else's face while shouting "you caaaahnt".

I share genes with some of these people!
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:34, Reply)
^Fair Point.
*throws poo*
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:37, Reply)
Other Radiohead T-Shirt Guy
I was waiting outside the tube station for Kaol to have lunch with him, having never met him before. He told me he'd be wearing a Radiohead t-shirt.

At about the time he said he'd get there, a guy lumbered (the only way I can describe it) out of the station - he looked lopsided, had a 'does not compute' expression on his face, and was walking straight towards me. I thought, 'Shit! That's Kaol? Fuck - this is going to be a long lunch hour.' But fortunately, the gods were playing tricks; it was not Kaol, but another random guy wearing a RH t-shirt.

I waited another ten minutes, and Kaol came out of the station. I thought, 'Shit...'

No, I didn't really.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:39, Reply)
@Clendrix
Haha - I can just imagine the look on your face when you thought you'd have to spend lunch with the other Kaol.

Edit - What does MFOTFABL mean?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:44, Reply)
*throws poo at Al*
Sorry for the delay. I was having a wank.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:50, Reply)
I think it's
Moved foot off the floor a bit laughing.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:51, Reply)
K2k6!
Stop that! How naughty.

Al - yes I heard about that. You poor thing.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:51, Reply)
@clendrix
Well, Al started it.

*sulks*

*invades Poland*
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:52, Reply)
@PoD
Thanks. Well that clears that up then.

*confuses*
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:53, Reply)
Clendrix
You're just jealous :p

There's always tomorrow, yay!
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:55, Reply)
Morning all :o)
This morning i was mainly being woken up by my boyfriend (who was still asleep) doing a noisy fart on my leg and then accusing me of being (and i quote) 'a massive gayist'.

So, all in all, a good start to the day.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:57, Reply)
Yes, there's always tomorrow.
*prepares to hurl spak in path of oncoming horror*

One of Al's previous posts for BGB:

MFOTFABL is the cool person way of indicating a LOL without actually being 13 and a girl.

It stemmed from Miss CHCB who said that she almost LOLed at one of my comments, when Kaol pointed out that almost LOL is just L, she responded by saying that she Moved her Foot On The Floor A Bit Laughing. Hence MFOTFABL.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:58, Reply)
I don't know if
Spakka could cope, mentally or physically with the demands of my attention.
I'd break him.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 10:59, Reply)
I think that's what it means, anyway
I'm not entirely sure.

In other news, I wasn't actually finished packing. I had forgotten to pack my kilt. And the rest of the outfit.

So the wedding tomorrow would have seen me wearing combats and a t-shirt.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 11:00, Reply)
@Kaol
Yes, you probably would.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 11:01, Reply)
@Clendrix
Ah! All is clear now. Thank you.

I always feel a bit silly writing LoL. Now I can feel a bit silly writing MFOTFABL.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 11:02, Reply)
I'm looking forward to meeting you Kaol
I think you will be a worthy opponant in the battle of who needs most to be kept at arms length.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 11:03, Reply)
I think I will be scared of meeting you Kaol
And now I think I must go and pack the car and head off on my exciting travels.

Ooo, how much motorway I'm going to see. Will be teh funs.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 11:07, Reply)
I'm slightly confused, BGB
Care to elaborate?

PoD, I'm not scary at all, I promise.

EDIT: Woo! 100!
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 11:09, Reply)
@ al
to be fair it's not as bad as the time when he told me to get 'one of my other boyfirends' to give me a lift to work.

Apparently they are younger than him so they won't mind as much.

Then there was the time when he was panicking and asking me to go to the shop because he needed a cup of sellotape. (not a roll, we had rolls of it. we needed a cup of the stuff)

aaaaaaanyway. with any luck my wages will clear tomorrow and i'm going to shimmy around Birmingham for a bit :o)
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 11:09, Reply)
@ b_k
hmm, that reminds me of someone I know who regularly grabs MY hot beverage and says "I'm just having a piece of your tea".
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 11:12, Reply)
anyone else
care to share odd early morning tales?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 11:15, Reply)
It's a simple rule:
"What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine"

EDIT: My odd early morning tale: My mrs always leaves the house before me, while I stay snoozing for a bit. The other morning, she gave me a kiss on the head. at which point, apparently, I farted a deep and meaty fart, gave a satisfies sigh, and rolled over.

"I love you too" she said, as she walked out the door.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 11:15, Reply)
@Kaol
There has been much talk of peoples experiences of your....how can I put it......disregard to personal space *laughs* after a few shandies.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 11:18, Reply)
@Kitten
I have no early morning tales to tell apart from my regimented 1/4 of an hour sat on the loo whether I need to go or not, just thinking about things.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 11:21, Reply)
@BGB
Wouldn't it be better to spend your 15 minutes of throne time during working hours? That way you get another quarter of an hour in bed, and save on the same amount of work.

And the bog roll's free too.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 11:24, Reply)
I've never had
the regimented sitting on the throne. I go when I feel like I need to.

EDIT: Oooh change of subject, can anyone magic me a pic of a Duke in a box please?

My friend doesn't know the difference between a "Duke box" and a "Jukebox"...
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 11:25, Reply)
BGB
The odd thing is that no matter how drunk I get, I stay a gentleman.

If only forcing yourself on members of the same sex is gentlemanly.

So you'd be safe, BGB.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 11:31, Reply)
I don't always need to go.
I just like to sit there and dwell on the day ahead and life in general. It sets me up for the day like meditation.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 11:31, Reply)
@Kaol
I know I'll be safe but who's going to be safe from me, that's the question. : )
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 11:41, Reply)
I'll be safe from you, haha!
*sticks tongue out*

EDIT: Well, I hope so anyway...
Kind of...
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 11:43, Reply)
@ al
A couple of years ago Tourette's was chuntering away in her sleep. Then she sat bolt upright, stared forwards and announced loudly: "Oh, for FUCK'S SAKE".

Then she lay back down again and went to sleep.

She tends to talk in her sleep a bit, but it's mostly in Greek so I can't understand a bloody word.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 11:52, Reply)
I do like the sound of your Mrs DG
Have you ever thought of having her sleep murmurings recorded and translated?

I wonder what "Exterminate! sounds like in Greek?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 11:56, Reply)
More ladies being odd!
I awoke at 3 in the morning to find Mrs Devil climbing out of the built-in wardrobe.

"What're you doing?" I enquired.

"SSH! You'll wake the bears!" was the response.

I fear for the future.

EDIT: Exterminate in Greek? åîïëïèñåýù (or exolothrevo, unless google lies!)

DOUBLE EDIT: Gah, the Greek characters haven't come out. Either way:

Exolothrevo! Exolothrevo!
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 11:59, Reply)
I punched my ex in the face when I was asleep once.
I gave him a black eye.
In all fairness though, he was a bit of a cunt.

edit: Did I scare everyone away? I won't punch any of you in the face, promise!
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 12:06, Reply)
@ PJM
That in itself could be an interesting experiment...

I'm a bit miffed as I couldn't give blood earlier. They couldn't get a clean entry into the vein.

Oh well. First time in all the years I've been doing it, I suppose.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 12:13, Reply)
I really should give blood
but I've never done it, because I don't like the idea of losing 'nearly a whole armful' and the thought of the needle gives me teh fear.

In other news, I've been trying to set up my phone answering machine with a personal message, but it's refusing to do it properly. Heap of shite.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 12:17, Reply)
*guards face from lusty*
I did the same to my ex, once. I was having a really bad dream, thrashing about the place. She tried to wake me up.

Which was a mistake on her part - in my sleep in tried to shrug her off, elbowing her in the mouth in the process.

The looks I got for about a week afterwards!

EDIT: I've never given blood, but I have tried. The last time I'd just had a tattoo done, and they said 'No Way Jose'.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 12:17, Reply)
Well
For my troubles, I'm still going to have a yarking great bruise on my arm in the morning. Hmmph.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 12:22, Reply)
I'm not allowed to give blood
I would though, if I could, it's an excellent thing to do.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 12:27, Reply)
@Al
Yes, and then they all went and had Fajitas for tea.

Serves me right for trying to give blood at 'Enricos House of Beans', I suppose.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 12:30, Reply)
@kaol, it is a fantastic thing to do
I gave blood for the first time the other week,
I would have done it sooner but travelling to malaria zones/having piercings got in the way.

I've very pro organ donation aswell.
When I die, anything anyone wants from me they can have. It's not like I'm going to need it.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 12:30, Reply)
Hmmm...
Organ donation is equally great.

Can I have your breasts? Stuffed and mounted?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 12:32, Reply)
@kaol
only if i don't have to die in the process of them being removed from my body.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 12:35, Reply)
I meant
After you've died :p
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 12:38, Reply)
did someone mention boobies?
lovely.

no-one says much about man-meat though. hmmmm.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 12:40, Reply)
If I'm already dead
then that's fine, mount away.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 12:40, Reply)
giving blood is ace
I don't give blood though, I give platelets.

It makes me feel tingly.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 12:41, Reply)
HLT
How's the car?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 12:49, Reply)
@ kaol
it seems to be fine at the moment, thank you!

there was no paper poking out of it this morning.

the police spent ages with me last night. it was cool. they even fingerprinted my car and we had a proper laugh. phwoar.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 12:51, Reply)
Scanning the page
I read that as 'The police spent some time poking me'.

alright, petal?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 12:52, Reply)
Wanderlust
Thanks for the offer, but necrophilia's not really my bag, y' know?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 12:54, Reply)
@ DG
Thanks chap, I'm not the only one that thought that...
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 12:57, Reply)
@ devil
all's well thanks - how is you my dear?

I was not poked by the police. Or handcuffed. They didn't use their batons on me and no choppers were involved.

It is here that I would be tempted to write "But they did throw me onto the patrol car and take turns at giving me a damn good seeing to", but as that would be a lie, I won't.




What?

(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 12:59, Reply)
@ al
i couldn't get it to work last night!!!

k2k6 has advised step by step simpleton instructions though so may be able to sort something out for tonight.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 13:02, Reply)
Aye, not too bad, ta!
Just jittering with excitement about home time! Roll on the weekend!
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 13:08, Reply)
personally, I prefer
aerosol weekends.



/coat
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 13:30, Reply)
haha!
as long as it's not in a solvent abuse kind of way i think it's ok :o)
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 13:31, Reply)
Solvent abuse!
I've got a story about that...

*starts writing*
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 13:32, Reply)
Hallo everybody
Rolling wit da homies?

EDIT: ancrenne, stop it, you're turning me on...
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 13:38, Reply)
HLT seems to be on a roll today.
One wise crack after another.

*Go for it girl*

Hi ancrenne. Looks like you've had fun today.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 13:40, Reply)
I've been shopping.
Now I might have lunch and a bit of a lie down.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 13:41, Reply)
hehe...
oh ancrenne

sounds like a rough day you're having clendrix
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 13:42, Reply)
Noon MM, ancrenne, clendrix...
I must say, I am home with the downies, rather!
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 13:47, Reply)
MM
I'm exhausted, I tells ya.

I am, of course, working from home.

*ahem*

Edit: DiT - what do you mean?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 13:48, Reply)
DiT
Here comes the sunshine bus! Window lickers at the ready!
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 13:50, Reply)
@Clendrix:
From Dylan Moran:

"I have tried... believe me, I have tried to like rap music. It makes me feel so very, very old. I have tried to get home with the downies."
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 13:56, Reply)
My crazy neighbour
is outside cutting my hedge.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 13:58, Reply)
I shall tell him that
when I see him.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 13:59, Reply)
In kind of a good way
she's cutting the hedge well, but she's manic depressive and schizophrenic, and keeps asking every 10 minutes really pointless questions. And talking. A lot.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:01, Reply)
@ miss 'crenne
Well, yes, in September, when he comes to do his gig here.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:02, Reply)
Window lickers
A few years ago, when Tourette's was in her last job, she accompanied the special needs class on a social skills visit to the Metro Centre. I had taken the day off to do some Christmas shopping, so said I'd meet her at lunchtime. In McDonalds.

12 o'clock came, and as I headed towards the 'restaurant' I spied a large group of very young kids. Two of whom were pressed up against the window with their tongues out, walking back and forth along the entire length of the window and leaving a very visible 'slime' trail behind them.

Bless 'em.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:02, Reply)
In Finsbury Park
They often take them out in groups to go on the specially adapted bicycles, and feed the ducks. However, my dog has figured out that if she sits next to them as they feed ducks, they'll feed her instead. I keep having to go and politely extract her from groups of them.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:06, Reply)
I wrote and recorded a
Song about retards last night...

EDIT: Bye ancrenne, see you tonight *grins*
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:07, Reply)
ancrenne
Oh yes - they can amuse themselves for hours doing this.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:07, Reply)
I don't know about you lot...
But I reckon there might be something going on between ancrenne and kaol.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:12, Reply)
*slits DiT's throat*
Anyone else?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:13, Reply)
D-i-T
Dunno wot you mean, guv.

Honest.

Four weeks, one day and counting....
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:14, Reply)
kaol and ancrenne
sitting in a tree k. i. s. s. i. n. g.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:16, Reply)
First comes love
Then comes marriage

Then comes the baby WITH THE FIST FULL OF KNIVES!!!!!

EDIT: al, you utter cunt.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:17, Reply)
Does anyone have a tissue?
I appear to be losing quite a lot of bloo...
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:18, Reply)
*Passes tissue*
Says "there, there D-i-T" in soothing voice.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:21, Reply)
*gasp*
Thanks, DG. That was a close run thing...
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:22, Reply)
...
I know who becky's meeting......and you don't.....tra lalala....

EDIT: Uses al as a torniquet
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:23, Reply)
al
I'm hurt. I thought you already were my best friends. I didn't realise it was conditional.

*sobs*
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:26, Reply)
Hahaha!
I love each and every one of you.
Apart from Burt.
Burt's rubbish.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:26, Reply)
I'm so upset now
I can barely see the screen through my tears. I thought you'd all love me no matter what happened.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:29, Reply)
@MM
I love you no matter what. Ignore the boys, they're smelly.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:32, Reply)
Especially al
he smells like a really smelly poo.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:33, Reply)
What's all this?
Bullying and crying - oh dear.

I go for lunch for two and a half hours a few minutes and this is what I come back to.

*tuts*
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:33, Reply)
Not all boys are smelly!
:)
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:34, Reply)
It's just al really
He smells. And he says he won't be my friend anymore.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:36, Reply)
Careful everyone
Or this could turn into /talk...
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:37, Reply)
Yeah DG
it could turn into YOUR MUM

EDIT: Thanks Kaol, your words of comfort mean a lot to me in this difficult time.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:38, Reply)
^hahahaha
The wittiest retort EVAR. :)

IN OTHER NEWS: I'm all alone in the office. It's borin'.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:40, Reply)
Afternoon all
Apart from the fact that Al smells, what have I missed this fine summers day?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:41, Reply)
DiT
Surely being alone in the office creates opportunities of super fun time?

'sup Dok, not a lot really, other than al's smelliness being revealed.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:42, Reply)
Cool
I wish I was in the office on my own, then I would have no work to do, and have been here all day.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:46, Reply)
That's the point.
There are so many super fun things I could be doing it's created a sort of fun vacuuuum.

Perhaps I should glue all the furniture to the ceiling like in The Twits.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:46, Reply)
And everyone would walk in
to find the furniture glued to the ceiling and you sitting in a pile of glue on the floor laughing manically to yourself.

I suggest you try this instead.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:48, Reply)
DiT
It's naked time!
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:48, Reply)
200?
Woo
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:50, Reply)
*gets naked*
*from the waist down so people walking past don't know I'm nudey*

for other bored workers with more than one person in the room, try this.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:53, Reply)
I'm alone in my office too.
Hmm.

*gets kit off*

*dances*

*remembers office windows are a little below pavement level*

*dresses again*
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:54, Reply)
No office nudity for me.
My grandad sits in the office with me.

No dancing either as I have a poorly foot.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:56, Reply)
@ BGB
Semi-clad hopping then?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:01, Reply)
@fireflier
How about I roll up my trouser legs and hobble.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:02, Reply)
I was actually going to suggest the trouser leg thing...
...but didnt know what you would be wearing. And I didn't want to ask in case you got the right wrong idea.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:04, Reply)
I work at an engineering firm.
T-shirt and jeans in the summer.
Sweatshirt and jeans in the winter.


I'm only in the office and I get filthy.

Actually, I could wait till my grandad nods off and whip off my t-shirt, but he's looking a bit perky today.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:08, Reply)
Not meaning to be rude or anything, BGB
but you're not a teenager any more, so I'd guess your grandad must be getting on a bit.

Therefore if you whip off your t-shirt and he's not actually asleep, you may give his heart some bother!
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:15, Reply)
What in the names of Pigsy & Sandy
is wrong with the people in my office today. First they give me a shed load of work to do, and then when that's all done the hover behind me chatting when I try to post here!
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:15, Reply)
I never liked Sandy.
Pigsy was fucking ace, though.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:18, Reply)
@K2K6
I would be very careful of course to make sure he was asleep. Duh!


Edit - I had the hots for the female monk in that series.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:20, Reply)
But, but, but
Sandy was a Sea Monster! What's not to like about that?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:20, Reply)
@BGB
But the old bloke might be reading this on his Blackberry or something, and just pretending to be asleep!

@Herr Dok - I had to Google Pigsy and Sandy. I've never watched Monkey.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:23, Reply)
@K2K6
The only Blackberry he knows about, grows on a bush.


And why doesn't that surprise me. Did you live out your formative years on a desert island.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:25, Reply)
Pigsy, Sandy (and Monkey himself)
...are going to be the BBC's mascots/theme for the olympic coverage this year. Kind of iron really, given that it was a Japanese series (admitedly based on a Chinese story), and the antipathy between the countries. It's using the versions done by Jamie Hewlett for the Monkey opera thingy.

Edit - Linky for those interested.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:26, Reply)
Oh come now K2k6
How could you not know Monkey?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:26, Reply)
I did watch telly as a kid
but not as much as most kids seemed to. And I'm still like that to this day. I'd guess I watch maybe 7 or 8 hours of television in an average week.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:28, Reply)
@ Al
I'm sure we all would, but you're just more vocal about it.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:28, Reply)
@Al
We know it's not true. You need all the friends you can get.


*grips nose tightly with fingers*

Edit - Grandads left the office.

*whips off t-shirt*

*hobbles round the office with t-shirt on head and whooping*

*feels great*
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:29, Reply)
@K2k6
That's about the same amount as me, my it was great when kids could go out to play and parents didn't have to worry all the time.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:30, Reply)
Damn
I've got to go, and there's no time to tell you al. Sorry.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:31, Reply)
Right, I'm off home.
Catch ya'll later alligator.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:32, Reply)
Pigsy was more fun.
He suffered a bit in our house though: our dog had a soft pig-shaped toy, named Pigsy in honour of our favourite character (watching Monkey was something we did together as a family).

But if we said to the dog, 'Where's Pigsy?' she would find him and shake him and eventually he was reduced to half a face and one leg.

Sandy was a moody git.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:35, Reply)
@Dok
Parents don't need to worry any more these days than they ever did. It's just that there's far more emphasis put on the potential dangers these days. Traffic density notwithstanding, nothing much has changed since we were kids.

There were still 'bad men who take you away in cars'. We just hadn't started calling them paedophiles then. The chance of being abducted by one of said men was very low then and is still very low now. It happens of course, and vigilance is always worthwhile, but it's not highly probable.

I see BGB has got her baps out. Go BGB!

*whoops with encouragement*

Edit - Bugger, she's away home!
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:36, Reply)
I've told him MM
It's not that interesting really, I've met her twice before, so meeting her a third time is no big deal.
Would've thought she'd be fed up of me by now.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:36, Reply)
Bad men in cars
And you've got to remember that we were all taught, by the medium of Charlie the Cat, that we shouldn't talk to stranger.

Parents today really have to start taking the peadophile problem with a pinch of salt, and teach the children some good old common sense.

It may also get them off of computers and back out having fun with real people!

Did I just really say that? Get off of computers? Never!

EDIT Well Said Al.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:46, Reply)
Real.... people?
*scareds*
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:50, Reply)
Don't worry Ethel.
We're not real.
You're perfectly safe here.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:56, Reply)
I'm in the newsletter!
HAHAHAHAHA!
*grins*
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:57, Reply)
My parents
had drummed the 'don't get into anyone else's car' message into me so thoroughly that I once refused to take a lift from my pal's dad, and walked home in the pouring rain instead.

Wild horses weren't going to get me in that car.

In hindsight, I think I made the correct decision. He was a very, very strange man. He was also a church minister, if I remember correctly.

Edit - Well done, Kaol. A very educational piece, too. Especially the bit about the severed toe.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:57, Reply)
Well Done Kaol!
It's even something to do with your edukashun- see the zoology came in handy at last. And you managed to get all the way to the last sentance without dismembering someone.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:06, Reply)
Yeah...
I couldn't write an entire message without some kind of severed/bloody body fragment.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:13, Reply)
You know when
you completely forget you're in public and do something socially inappropriate?

i just dropped ice cream on my boobie outside and licked it off. In front of lots of people.

oops.

congrats Kaol :o)
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:15, Reply)
Nice work, Kaol!
And also, BabyK, I'd like to invoke the 'pictures or it didn't happen' rule...
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:18, Reply)
@ BK / DiT
I'll accept re-enactment in place of missing photos.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:20, Reply)
Well now...
I suspect you've managed to get the attention of the male b3tans. I can practically hear them perking up!

Details woman! Details! You know how important ice cream is to these people?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:21, Reply)
I can hear the perking!
they sound like rulers being bedoinged off a desk.

lovely sound

;P
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:22, Reply)
*Perks up*
Damn - got to go and pick my car up.

I'll check back later.

See ya, peeps.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:24, Reply)
@ al (in voice of stewie family guy)
Stop mocking me!

er, maybe.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:27, Reply)
Now you mention that
My eyes have always read "Happylittletulip", but my mind's always translated it to "Hornylittletulip".

I do apologise HLT - I certainly don't mean to besmirch your smirchless reputation.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:29, Reply)
I think it will have been a cup of mint choc chip.
Just a hunch, like.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:32, Reply)
@ DIT
I can tell you've spent the last 14 minutes thinking about this intently and weighing up the options in both hands.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:34, Reply)
unfortunately
it was just a feast. the bastards don't put the chocolate all the way round the bottom of it so it drips everywhere....
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:37, Reply)
Right...
I'm off now.
Don't miss me too much, I'll be back online Wednesday night.

Have good weekends you lovely folk.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:41, Reply)
A feast?
I remember them being really big and yummy when I was a kid.

Now, I am disappointed by them. The chocolatey centre left me underwhelmed and ultimately dissatisfied.

I've never got it on my breast though, maybe that's where I'm missing out.

@Fireflier: Ice Cream are Serious Business.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:43, Reply)
Have fun Kaol!
Wave at me in the train if you're passing Fareham on the way down to Southampton!

(Assuming you're getting the train)

Edit: * wants a Feast now *
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:44, Reply)
That was the plan...
but then i thought it may be more fun to blob it on my mammaries.

lovely and warm outside :o)

a guy at dinner dropped a baked bean on his tit and ate that...aided with his hands though.

i am proud of my tit to mouth contact.

i'm glad it wasn't a bean though. they're the devils work. not you DiT, the firey man who lives downstairs.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:50, Reply)
i have a
pink vest top on with quite a low neckline so it was full tongue to skin contact.

is that ok for you?
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:55, Reply)
i like
the word spluff. and the word spaff. excellent.
is anyone lurking? it's awfully quiet in here...
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:58, Reply)
I'm still here
Except I'm not - just going to collect my bike from being repaired.

Have fun kids - see you later...

* spluffs *
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 17:02, Reply)
I'm around.
Pretending to work and, er, eating cake.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 17:06, Reply)
I am lurking
Largely because my boss has asked me to work out how to make Excel do something that Excel can't do.

I have tried explaining that Excel can't do it. He said 'just sort it out'.

I am considering having a poo in his in-tray.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 17:07, Reply)
huzzah
for poo-trays.

i hate excel. almost as much as spiders and baked beans and the word 'puce'

then again i spend most of my day typing the following:

cust happy
sent sms of my email


that's it. rubbish.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 17:13, Reply)
I love Excel
because it's all neat and tidy and logical.

However, I concur that Al's idea of a poo covered parcel is an excellent one.

Pictures, or it didn't happen.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 17:16, Reply)
Haha...
That's some effort.

In the name of a new car, I have abandoned the poo idea and 'just sorted it'.

I'm a slave to the machine. Damn!

Right all. I'm orf. Have a jolly good weekend, should I not come back - though I'm sure I will!
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 17:31, Reply)
only just arrived
and it's nearly the evening!

Considering I've done naff all all day I can't understand why it's taken me so long.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 17:41, Reply)
I'm so tired I want to cry
I worked all day, had patients be cranky with me over the doctor's mistakes and to crown it all, did a dressing change of a big gooey deep open sore on an ankle brushing away fucking crab lice! I wasn't even near the groin! They just toddled up to check out what I was doing.

And I have to do it all over again tomorrow.

>Waaah!<
(, Tue 29 Jul 2008, 5:52, Reply)

« Go Back | Reply To This »

Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1