Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Hey guys!!! GUYS!!! over here!!!!!!It's me, you know, me - Monty? Yeah that's right, off the internet.
How about this for a story:
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-11753050
Despite making rubbish records he comes across as alright, I think. He's self-deprecating and knows only too well that he only sells to blobbing birds.
Who else is alright that you wouldn't expect?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:16,
167 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
oh man, i had a reply to the lunch thread all readyyou can have it anyway. i went here. anyone who works near one of these places, omg GO, best food EVER:
www.pilpel.co.uk/
i quite fancy james blunt. he's my secret shame crush.
alt: i've met that monty, off the internet. it's a bit of a lie, he's totally UNinternet in real life. he should call himself "monty not off the internet."
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:17,
Reply)
There's an amazing Turkish market in Berlin at which I had the best falafel I've ever had.It's only when you have a proper fresh one that you realise how bad they can be.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:20,
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there seems to be a massive differencesome of them are soft, some of them are crunchy, blah blah. these ones are amaaaazing. they properly put me off some of the soggier ones, as you say.
also pilpel hands out free falafels as you walk past. do it a few times and wahey, free lunch.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:22,
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This is the kind of information I need(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:25,
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i don't know how the guy who hands them out does his jobhow does he not just take the platter behind the nearest shop and hoon the lot??
"mmm, the public mmfffmmmm loved themmmmmm"
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:28,
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All I have to say to that is this: You massive bent spastic.(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:23,
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Fuck's sake, all you lot have feet of clay, what with Harters and his adulterous ways.....and you with your MBS cuisine.
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Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:58,
Reply)
I always wonder why years old stories get to the top of the most read.I'm guessing it's posted on reddit or something.
(, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:18, Reply)
Can help but wonder if refusing that order has caused more harm than good.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:19,
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I agree. World wars are a superb laugh and a great way of thinning out populations.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:21,
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Glad we've got that cleared up.Did the pub put the picture your daughter did on the wall or not?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:22,
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I doubt it. It wasn't one of her best.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:23,
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Yeah, homophobia would have been wiped out for good if the US had bombed Russia a few years agoand we'd all be living in harmony, side by side like on my fabulously rainbow-hued piano keyboard
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:33,
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Almost stomped you there, Monters.I deleted mai fred like the gent I am
*tips cap*
I have found myself liking Louie Spence on the Celeb Big bro thing.
He is still an annoying preeny, mincy, fairy twat, but he has made me laugh on occasion.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:20,
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I've heard of being kept back a year at school but Jay's old boy must be super thick if he was still there when his son was(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:24,
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my friend's mum used to run a curtain exchange shopthey got together one day with other ladies from different towns who did a similar thing to chat about ideas. the self-appointed leader was called gay.
when a woman arrived late, gay went over at the end to meet her with my friend's ma. "hello, i'm gay." she began.
"oh, i'm sorry. so's my son," was the reply. unbelievable on many levels. but 200% true.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:25,
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Reassuring to know what calibre of peopleare responsible for these important decisions.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:22,
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What did he do? Threaten to release another album?
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:23,
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I'm not sure, but it would appear he is the saviour of the modern world.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:26,
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That's facking yeeeears old, Monty.No idea why it's popped up again.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:25,
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Jeff was alright. I had assumed that everyone on OT was a cunt(
Peej, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:25,
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I misread this as 'oo arrr, Oi sewned loik thaat Jethro, Oi do'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:27,
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thanks for the translation, i was wondering(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:28,
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Talking of which try to download thiswww.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2078720
I have another two copies downloading hopefully one of them will have English subtitles
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:45,
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WILL YOU PLEASE FUCKING SHUT UP ABOUT THE FUCKING SUBTITLES.You have posted this at least 5 times now, you epic knobcheese.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:49,
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Typical knobcheese behaviour(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:50,
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Can you bring me A Band Called Death pls xxxxxxx(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:50,
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I can actuallyI haven't watched it but I have it, its the one about the pre punk guys that were "before their time" right?
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Peej, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:58,
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Sorry that should have read - OoooArrrrr where be moigh sister?(
Peej, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:59,
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Not really, I'm just as much of a prick as you would expect.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:33,
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Looks like Shit Thread Day is still going strong(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:37,
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i don't really get why people blame the threadstarter (twisted threadstarter)when you can just talk about whatever the fuck you want anyway.
i bought cupcakes on sunday, jeff. i was totally overwhelmed by the choice, they had 50 different flavours. in the end i chose peanut butter, oreo and rocky road. my friends picked the first 2, so i took the rocky road one home for me. i could have slain goliath with it, it was that fucking stale, and the cunt cost a fiver!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:48,
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That's shocking.Were the all stale or just the one you had?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:49,
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my friend said theirs were really nicei wasn't just being fussy, this thing really was like an iced rock. at least they got the nice 2. would have been v embarrassing to take them horrid cakes.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:53,
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even if it were super fresh and tasty, five quid is a fucking con.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:58,
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bloody windsor innitactually i may have lied. i just found the receipt when looking for something else. it was £15 for 3 and a diet coke can, so perhaps they were more like £4.50.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:05,
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Someone I know who killed themselves still has an open facebook page.There's a number of people who've put "happy birthday hun xxx" etc... it's embarrassing.
(, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:38, Reply)
Not as embarrassing as when they reply(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:39,
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Nah, Nintendo retconned that last month(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:42,
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You're not wrong.We ALL know the correct course of action is to delete your account and THEN kill yourself.
You should post something on their page mocking this error.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:41,
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Have you see the one where it says "Wooooooo I'm posting from beyond the grave"and then says "Not really I'm just clearing out your brothers facebook - Dad xxx"
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Peej, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:41,
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My cousin's one is the sameShe's been dead 3 years FFS
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:50,
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My mate just moved in to her new house and got a load of birthday cards the other day for the previous owner who died 2 years ago.
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Peej, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:00,
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On a similar note:What are my fellow B3tan's thoughts on the Syria crisis?
I find it laughable that the U.S is on a "diplomatic" tour to rally support to strike another country, all the while saying it is not to start a war?!
Hardly going to start a peace process is it?
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:43,
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I don't understand it, don't pretend to, and don't care.But I am for military action.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:46,
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They have things like the atom bomb(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:50,
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Ah, I don't go there. They are even more horrible than you.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:56,
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i am for men in military uniformit's a good look
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:54,
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Like quints in his Officer and a Gentlemen outfit?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:57,
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Well the US strike Pakistan fairly regularly and they're not technically at war.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:46,
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History repeating itselfGet involved in tribal conflict, impose arbitrary national boundary, install a corrupt government or dictatorship, work on "my enemy's enemy is my friend", act surprised when they turn out not to be, rinse and repeat.
(, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:46, Reply)
Why?Which term would you rather use?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:51,
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Alawites are a diffferent racial group aren't they?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:53,
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It's on a par with saying the troubles in Northern Ireland was a tribal conflict.(, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:01, Reply)
...when the real term is 'tedious Paddy aggro'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:03,
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That's just semanticsYou can define "tribal" any way you like, it doesn't have to mean of a common ethnic descent, it gets applied to fans of the same football team, for example. It's more about common behaviors and views than skin colour.
(, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:04, Reply)
You're one of those cunts who says 'differently abled' and 'person of restricted growth' aren't you?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:53,
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'feminine penis equivalents'(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:55,
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hahaha'proficient and accomplished onanist'
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:57,
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'Adult entertainment dancer'.(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:25,
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Oh, andthe above only applies if the land/country has something you want. Otherwise we'd be discussing invading Zimbabwe, right?
(, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:55, Reply)
It's called Rhodesia in my house.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:57,
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I prefer his brother, Fender.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:25,
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when has a side that is winning a war ever started a peace process?(, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:47, Reply)
I'm kinda glad we aren't getting involved in this one though.America Vs Russia has been brewing for years.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:54,
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I liked the bit when they both launched a missile at each other and they collided in mid air and all the bits fell on the UK(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:57,
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always down for thatNo pissing though.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:07,
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Well I find that a difficult questions Jay but I'm glad you asked.If we don't intervene wiv guns an bombs we're basically saying 'the UK has no problem with you gassing your citizens, fill your boots'.
But we're also not the world's police, it ain't up to us to be swooping in to save them from blowing each other up, ain't our problem, we've got shit to deal with too man, think about us.
SO TO CONCLUDE dunno
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Theoban What of it, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:21,
Reply)
The U.S keeps bleating on about this so-called evidence confirming the Syrian regime was behind the attack.Show us the compelling evidence, then fair do's.
I don't trust the U.S after their last WMD cry, and none were found.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:38,
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what are we going to do if your new job blocks this place?did you even think of that??
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:57,
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Same as he does now, use a proxy.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:58,
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Doesn't that just mean you'll be on here more over the coming weeks?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:59,
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prollyto be honest I'll probably not get much "new" work and they said we can probably meet in the middle, so I'm hoping to do about 2 weeks out of 6
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:59,
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turn of phraseanyway I have holiday i can use to eat some of the notice
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:03,
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my contract says 12 weeks notice(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:09,
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12 weeks and a ginger tranny. That's a shit contract.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:16,
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They obviously don't consider you a threat to their commercially sensitive information!(, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:00, Reply)
They wouldn't believe the shit I've seen in my photocopying!"(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:01,
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I've never bought any and, as such, my local supermarket doesn't stock any.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:29,
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But you were wearing the full kit and caboodle in that photo you sent me(, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:34, Reply)
They were a gift from a sugar daddy(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:35,
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You still here Dr Frog? Re last thread, don't call me a bitch, bitch. I bet Rory/Fu Manchu is lovely really. He has a secret crush on Swipey tru dat.
(, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:01, Reply)
Say it to my face, not online and we will see what happens bitch(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:03,
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I heard that you are an unremitting bender and a terrible cunt to boot(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:12,
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Uphill(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:16,
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I'm fucking great meEveryone just THINKS I'm a cunt
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:17,
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Anne Widdecombe is a lovely lady who devotes much of her time to feeding the poor and hungry(
Theoban What of it, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:23,
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I met him in the Troubador in Earl's Courthe is very short and has a squeaky speaking voice
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:26,
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All celebrities are tiny.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:28,
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Yeah I heard giant Haystacks could fit inside a cereal box in real life(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:30,
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Seriously though, TV peaked with this:www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DSro4l_0cE
It's all been downhill since then.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:33,
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Do you judge EVERYTHING on a scale of nought to Krankie?(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:42,
Reply)
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