One of my old clubbing haunts from 'back in the day' is getting closed down
and a bunch of usual suspects are putting forward the idea of a reunion night out before it gets turned into luxury apartments/poundland.

Part of me wants to do it but another part of me, the part that'd struggle to score a pack of Pro-Plus these days, thinks it will be shit and noisy and a harsh reminder of what a fat boring old cunt I am now.

What do you think? You can never go home, can you?

Alt: I watched the last IT Crowd at the weekend and didn't think it was very good. What TV programme would you like to have a last episode and how would you end it?

Altalt: What's the most of one thing you've ever had in your mouth?
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 13:43, 111 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

They had one of these recently up North for Ikon and it was just full of kids.
Ikon was full of kids anyway mind.

depends how much of a shit pile the original club night was.

Alt. Any soap. Blow them all up.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 13:46, Reply)

Excellent sig

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 13:49, Reply)

All Monty's work

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 13:53, Reply)

There's a club if you'd like to go
you could meet somebody who really loves you
so you go, and you stand on your own
and you leave on your own
and you go home, and you cry
and you want to die
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 13:47, Reply)

This one goes out to my main man, Doc Frog.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 13:48, Reply)

*waves, sadly*

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 13:57, Reply)

Barry Manilow got really depressing towards the end...

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 13:53, Reply)

*bicycles on a hillside desolate*

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 13:57, Reply)

Good afternoon Bill Clay
It is worth going back, just for the memories. It WILL be shit though.

Alt:
The IT Crowd was shit. I'd also like Eastenders and Coronation Street to end. The plot would be a day trip from Albert Square up to shiv Manc cunts in Eastlands. EVERYONE DIES

AltAlt:
Almost 1/2 lb of cherry lips for a bet in school. I couldn't open my mouth for about an hour as they basically glued my teeth together
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 13:47, Reply)

altalt teeth

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 13:47, Reply)

+Paki's false

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 13:48, Reply)

Haha

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 13:49, Reply)

actually I don't think that's right

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 13:49, Reply)

Altalt probably granules of sherbert or something?
Beer molecules? I really don't know sorry.
( Peej, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 13:52, Reply)

I've been to a few hac reunion nights, pretty ghastly. Muntered teenagers wearing dustmasks and reeking of Vicks, yuk.
The hac was at its best playing decent house in the 80s, it only started making any cash from the shitty hardcore bollocks that djs still play. What era/music were your clubbing days?
Alt, I've not seen the IT crowd one yet, I used to quite like it, in a guilty pleasure sort of way.
Altalt, is this a sort of late lunch thread?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 13:52, Reply)

I read Peter Hook's book about the Hacienda a while book
the bits that he obviously hadn't written were quite entertaining.

I was an early nineties clubber around the midlands, Progress in Derby, Gatecrasher at the Arches in Sheffield, Wobble in Birmingham and the one that's closing is the Emporium in Coalville.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 13:58, Reply)

Funny book, yes.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:04, Reply)

I'm watching various friends and acquaintances fall to parenthood - it's grim.
I don't know what's worse - them telling me how it's all worth it, watching them desperately try to convince themselves that it is, or their pathetic cries of "Please let's go on the lash!" several years later.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 13:53, Reply)

I feel so sorry for those in the parent trap.
am grateful I will never have a crying, shit machine sapping up all my money. Until the parents have to be put in a home.

I also hate how their lives are so taken up by it that their facebook becomes a scrapbook to all things shit.
First walk, word, drink, holiday. WE DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR UGLY BABY IS DOING!!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 13:56, Reply)

being a father is far and away my life's greatest pleasure

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 13:59, Reply)

I really don't begrudge anyone of it but I haven't one paternal bone in my body.
Im going to be a crazy old cat man with 10 cats.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:01, Reply)

I didn't think I did.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:03, Reply)

I was one of my mates birthing partners and, beautiful/disgusting as it was... Nothing.
Even cut the cord.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:12, Reply)

I think the paternal instinct is more likely to kick in if you are, y'know, actually the kid's father.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:15, Reply)

OK then... I have no desire to have a child.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:17, Reply)

"Turn Him Over!"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:17, Reply)

You say that now, but when you look down into that chubby little face of the creature you've made
You'll say that then too
( Theoban What of it, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:19, Reply)

*expels from seminary*

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:20, Reply)

Lies
You've no doubt had many a paternal bone in you
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:07, Reply)

Fnaaaaaaar

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:12, Reply)

There was an indie/alternative club I used to go to in the early 90s
A load of 'faces' from back in the day set up a page on facebook, lots of people signed up, shared photos, reminisced, etc.
Then they decided to have a reunion. I didn't go, but I saw some of the photos of it.
Jesus. Christ. Those people look fucking terrifying and I never want to meet up with them.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 13:55, Reply)

I used to go to a fucking awful 'rock' club at home to watch bands and drink poor quality lager, it was quite a strange little venue called 'The Harp Club'
It closed down about 10 years ago, and recently re-opened as 'The Harp Re-strung'. I went to see a friend's band play there and was amused to see EXACTLY the same faces still dressing like Gothic teenagers despite the average age being about 50. So, can you ever go home? No, but you can wait years to desperately try to re-live it. It was still fucking awful by the way.

Altalt: Teeth. EDIT: Late!
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 13:56, Reply)

AltAlt: Your mum's pubes.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 13:57, Reply)

if I never set foot in a night club again it will be too soon

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:02, Reply)

I went to one last Crimbo, lasted about an hour.
I've always preferred gigs anyway.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:07, Reply)

I heard your mums were planning on taking you to Candy Bar tonight.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:11, Reply)

^^^this
the very idea fills me with dread.

Even back in the day I had to be hammered to even consider the idea.

I once ended up in a shit nightclub stone cold sober (designated driver), the horror is still with me to this day.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:12, Reply)

I used to go to them as they were places to drink
after the pubs have shut. I never enjoyed them - even paying cover to get into a pub irks me nowadays.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:14, Reply)

I was in one a few weeks back
SPOILER it was shit and booze was expensive
( Theoban What of it, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:14, Reply)

My "local" club had draught beer that was so shit, you literally could order lager, cider, whatever
and it would all look, taste and smell the same. i.e. FUCKING HORRIBLE
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:19, Reply)

Unfortunately when I used to go proper clubbing, all we drank was aftershock and bacardi breezers
YES YES I KNOW RIGHT
( Theoban What of it, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:23, Reply)

The worst thing about going home isn't that it's changed, it's that you've changed
Also everything is now shit.

Alt: I'd end Breaking Bad with IT WAS ALL A DREAM. In fact I'd end every tv series like this
( Theoban What of it, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:08, Reply)

Funnily enough this is also how b3ta ends.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:11, Reply)

'I dreamed I was looking at a grey board as far as the eye could see'
'someone called me a cockbeaver'
( Theoban What of it, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:13, Reply)

I like this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:18, Reply)

I live in the town I grew up in
how fucking depressing is that? I've spent my weekend practising a variety of regional accents including Jethro to throw at Mince in the hope he will never know which one my real one is, only to realise he will simply assume that my real one is Jethro, with carrots.
( Peej, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:15, Reply)

1000 homo DJs

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:22, Reply)

I remember being in clubs when I was a teenager or in my early twenties
and seeing guys in their early thirties there, with their developing paunches and thinning hair, checking out the scantily clad uni girls and I thought "Christ, what a bunch of sad, old bastards. Not able to let go of their youth, how fucking pathetic."

On that basis alone, I will never go to another club.
( Kroney, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:26, Reply)

I'd like to be in a club sandwich between Sharron, Tracey and Doreen.... i'll be the the bacon.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:37, Reply)

WORST.JEW.EVER

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:46, Reply)

_BEST_ JEW EVER, you mean.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:34, Reply)

Alright Bill Clay,
I'd not go back, you won't enjoy it, you'd be better off all getting together and hanging out in a pub accross the road and watching all the tragic youngsters fall out of the club while you sip your pints of bitter and moan about the economy.
I made the mistake of going to a goth night i used to attend on a regular basis. Daft thing to do.

ALT: I really don't watch a lot of TV.

altalt: I had 3 cocks in my moth once.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:39, Reply)

That's three small cocks or one HUGE moth.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:40, Reply)

it was supposed to say mouth.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:54, Reply)

I prefer to believe that you hang around with giant moths.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:55, Reply)

I have no friends except you guys.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:56, Reply)

Sorry about that. I have about four.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:00, Reply)

GET IN I have six

( Theoban What of it, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:02, Reply)

What the fuck are you doing spending so much time on 'The Internet' for then?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:03, Reply)

I only do this when I'm meant to be working

( Theoban What of it, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:06, Reply)

Don't lie. No-one with six whole friends *needs* to work.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:08, Reply)

My job is managing the funds and the FUNS they donate to me

( Theoban What of it, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:11, Reply)

I wish I was cool like you Theoban.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:12, Reply)

Why, we just put up our Warmachine lists on Facebook for the next stage in the little tournament we're holding
Now THAT's cool
( Theoban What of it, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:14, Reply)

I think I'm a bit in awe of you.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:28, Reply)

^^ Gay

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:55, Reply)

lolz

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:56, Reply)

Bit homophobic mate.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:00, Reply)

^^ Bender

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:08, Reply)

YOU!!!!!!!!!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:09, Reply)

^ Upset

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:17, Reply)

Cyberbully!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:27, Reply)

That's basically Kroney's worst fear, right there.
Cockmoth.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:00, Reply)

Hairy, pink and flapping
Like YM
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:03, Reply)

+er

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 14:45, Reply)

fuck it
Score a bag of bumbles, a bag of mdma powder and go raving.

Alt: a final episode of Thundercats where Cheetara gets gangbanged by Mumm Ra, Hordak out of He Man and Jeremy Clarkson.

Alt alt: last week I ate SEVEN wasabi peanuts at the same time.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:13, Reply)

YES!!!!
Now, drug dealers wear special t-shirts so you know they're drug dealers don't they?
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:19, Reply)

i think they are all registered with companys house,
just got to google dealers in your local area.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:21, Reply)

ah, sound like a plan
I wonder if any of them accept tastecard
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:26, Reply)

probably, they're thoroughly modern men these days.
might even be able to get some sort of bulk discount by getting your friends in on it too.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:27, Reply)

nah, I don't want it to get all 'Requiem For A Dream'

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:32, Reply)

no
Just get your drugs before you go out. It's the only sensible way.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:24, Reply)

Just ask the nearest black guy.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:28, Reply)

*looks around*
*heads over to Barnaby from Accounts*
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:30, Reply)

This can't possibly fail.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:32, Reply)

Well I asked but I don't think he understood
i'm quids in to the tune of one salmon sandwich at least

DRUGS: 0
NYOMMY LUNCH: 1
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:35, Reply)

YO B-DOGG U HOLDING?
NAH NOT CHA MOTHERFUCKIN HOLEPUNCHER, NIGGA YOU CRAY.
( Theoban What of it, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:33, Reply)

^ This guy knows how to speak to ethnics

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:34, Reply)

www.theonion.com/articles/joinin-tha-notary-club,16209/
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:44, Reply)