Morning everyone
I think it rained here during the night as it's so much cooler than it has been before.

How is everyone today?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 8:48, 311 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning Beckster
I didn't sleep well, because it got really sticky here last night. Plus the fact I was awake until about 1am on here, which I don't usually do.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 8:52, Reply)

guuuuddd Mornin...
Bit muggy here and I'm seriously hungover due to a impromptu drinking session last night.

you?
(Kip, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 8:55, Reply)

Morning becks, k2k6
I am grand, and I slept well. And I have managed to get a doctors appointment for 9:40 this morning.

Keeping myself busy on my day off.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 8:56, Reply)

I fell asleep around midnight I think
and woke up about 2ish with my laptop about to fall on the floor. For a change it was cool enough for me to go straight back to sleep. Sorry it's all a bit sticky in Irn Bru land.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 8:56, Reply)

Hi everyone.
Went to see Wall-e last night with my nephew. What a charming film. Loved it.
( girlinthehole, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 8:58, Reply)

It really is sweet isn't it BGB
I rather liked it.

I'm off to work kids, see you all later x
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 8:59, Reply)

See you later Becky
I'm not complaining about the weather though. It's nice to feel some warmth for a change, as it's been cold and miserable for a while now.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:01, Reply)

Sets up a level 3 Biohazard Containment Unit for Al
Morning folks, how is everybody, I managed to get a good nights sleep and am thusly not a grouch this morning.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:03, Reply)

Ning!
I am going to be working from home today.
Let's not define 'working' too restrictively, eh?

Love this one: www.b3ta.com/questions/experiments/post211401
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:05, Reply)

@ Al.
No snogging at the bash then. : (
( girlinthehole, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:06, Reply)

Take it easy Al!
You're going away soon, aren't you?
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:11, Reply)

Also I am looking forward to the film Madagascar 2
I can't get the song 'I want to move it move it' out of my head.
( girlinthehole, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:15, Reply)

Moanin' All
How goes it
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:17, Reply)

@clendrix
I take it from your sig line that you're not doing a great amount of business in the pimping line?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:17, Reply)

@K2k6
The Devil is such a gorgeous being that I'd like to think that the lower-paid end of our society can share the love.
Erm, not quite sure how he'll feel about it when he sees it.

@Al - oh, that's OK then.
*dons bio-hazard suit and hugs Al*
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:27, Reply)

'ningles all
How is everybody?

@al you're not attending the bash next week?

I can't make the one on the 22nd/23rd whenever it is. :C
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:28, Reply)

Goooooood morning one and all!
Hello there my favourite internet friends!
How are we all today? I'm crapping myself as I have a job interview today but as I've applied for so many, I can't remember which role exactly I'm being interviewed for! Talk about winging it.
Ho-hum, anyway...
How is everybody doing? I haven't been around for a while.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:30, Reply)

A bunch of my mates
were out on the razzle last weekend and ended up in a strip club in Glasgow. I heard last night that the charge for a 30 minute private dance (which they tell me includes some form of contact, but no actual sex of any kind) was £140!

I'd imagine you could get several shags for that, were you to visit a suitable establishment.

I think you're underpricing DiT, clendrix!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:33, Reply)

Hi Lucy.
Good luck with the interview.

@Clendrix - well, with prices like that I'll book the Devil for an afternoon sesh.
( girlinthehole, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:33, Reply)

'Ning!
my bathroom will be (almost) fully installed when I get home today!

all that remains is the tiling, the painting, putting up the architrave, the new towel radiator, attaching the shower riser thing....

*sobs*

and somehow I have chilli burning it's why under my thumbnail from last night

it's thursday though, which is almost the weekend!

let's hope they change the qotw to something I have a story for today!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:34, Reply)

Thanks BGB
I'm now worrying about what to wear, what to say...All the usual.
I am no good with nerves. I get a bit panicky.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:38, Reply)

I shall not be attending the bash on the 23rd
for I shall be on my holidays.

It's my sister's birthday, so I thought it best to leave the country.

@Lucy I'm sure the interview will go very well, try not to panic too much. You know what helps with nerves? VODKA.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:38, Reply)

@Vipros
Now you've got your new bathroom (well, nearly) you'll be wanting to spend lots of time in it. If you have wireless internet access, you can lie in a warm bath and be on b3ta at the same time, assuming you have a laptop, and some means of keeping it dry.

Actually, this could be your story for the 'Pointless Experiments' question...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:39, Reply)

I have put up the prices accordingly.
Obviously, K2k6 likes to pay a higher price than the rest of us.
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:40, Reply)

Bonjour!
I am, after a monster hangover yesterday, fighting fit and ready for action!

Erm, Clendrix... "50p for 30 mins"... I'm not sure about that!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:40, Reply)

@Lucy
You'll do fine in your interview. Good Luck.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:40, Reply)

@clendrix
Oh noes! I'd better snap him up before inflation increases the price even more!

I'll have him for an hour please, do goats cost extra?

sorry al
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:41, Reply)

I do have wireless
and my work computer is a laptop....

my new bath is so stylish it has built-in arm rests, just right for b3taing in the bath.

it's not going to be in a position to be used for a week or two though. damn grout needing to be left for a week before use!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:41, Reply)

DiT
Price and time adjusted accordingly.
Today only.

Edit: Bert gets you at the pre-adjusted price, otherwise I think I'm breaking the law.
Bert, goats are not charged as long as you bring your own.
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:42, Reply)

@Lucy
Must be awful being female and wondering what to wear to an interview. Men wear a suit. End of story.

As for what to say, be honest. Don't tell them any bullshit, as you'll be found out eventually, if not sooner. If you don't have an answer to a question, say so. Provided you can give a good reason for not knowing it, they'll be happy enough.

And good luck. Or break a leg, or whatever you're supposed to say in these circumstances.

Edit@Vipros - that sounds just the job! I like the idea of b3ta-bathing.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:42, Reply)

Thank you herr doktor
I keep trying to persuade myself I am an intelligent graduate who has every right to this interview and that I'll be fine.
But then I remind myself I have no idea which role it is for and I don't know how true that is!
Edit - Thanks K2K6 - I've gone for a classic black skirt with a white shirt and a gold belt for that jazzy touch. And thanks for the advice. I will indeed be honest. My trick is just to smile lots. How can people not like a smiley person? Not in a mental, she's clearly had head trauma recently, just in a friendly way.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:45, Reply)

we could have a
b3ta bath night.

everyone hops in the tub (seperately or together, I'm not fussed)

we'd need some kind of responsibility waiver when we suggest it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:45, Reply)

@clendrix
My Harem of Goats follow me everywhere.

@K2k6 that suit comment simply isn't true, sometimes I'm inclined to wear a nice pencil skirt to interviews, and on one occasion, a smashing pair of hotpants.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:45, Reply)

Morning everyone
My office is very humid and sticky this morning, I've got a massive floor fan behind my chair so that everyone who phones me thinks I'm outside in a hurricance.

Good luck LucyVP, there's positive vibes in the air with interviews at the moment!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:48, Reply)

@ Lucy
I turned up to an interview once and *they* didn't know which role they were interviewing for!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:50, Reply)

Phew
Thank you so much everybody, you're all very lovely and reassuring. I will have to dash off in a few minutes, it's at 11 and I want to give myself enough time to recover from the dreaded Tube Sweat.
Yuk.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:51, Reply)

@Bert
I do believe you are the exception wot proves teh rule.

B3ta bath night FTW!

Actually, if we all met up in Bath (the city), then we could all go to the Roman baths and have a communal b3tabath.

Edit - that would be a Bath b3tabath bash!

Or for the more adventurous b3tard - Hungary. Specifically, Lake Heviz. One of the best places I've ever been.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:52, Reply)

I shall be interviewing people soon
and I'm scared!
Remember that Lucy - they could be nearly as nervous about the whole thing as you are!
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:52, Reply)

Morning all
Good morning everyone!
The weather has finally broke. Its pissing it down in Dublin today. Blessed relief from all the horrible warm stickyness! How is everyone this fine and delightfully breezy day? (Feeling unusually chipper today)
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:52, Reply)

@K2k6
B3ta communal bath night sounds fun, if a little dodgey, what with people like Kaol about.

Why do trumps in the bath always smell of egg?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:56, Reply)

Notes from an ex-recruiter!
@Lucy -

Take your time! Don't babble to fill silence, if you need a second to think about your response, then take it!

If you don't know the answer to something, say 'I don't know'. More often than not an interviewer will appreciate that more than a bare faced lie.

If you can, try and take notes of important things during the interview. This will give you leverage over other candidates as it gives the impression that you actually care about the nexrt stage of your career.

Make sure you have at least 10 questions written down to ask at the end of the interview. Try to avoid the standard ones like "how much holiday do I get?" or "why do you like working here?" - try and ask questions that are thoughtful, insightful and above all relevant.

If all else fails, £500 in an envelope with 'mum's the word' written on it should do the trick!

Seriously, I hope it goes really well for you! *crosses fingers and legs and toes and arms and eyes*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:58, Reply)

@ Bert
because the water filters out everything but the sulphur
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:58, Reply)

Cheers, Ethelred
I've always wondered about that.

I've just checked your profile, and realised that you're a man :C

I was hoping you'd be a little old lady with a pug called Willie.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 9:59, Reply)

@ Bert
I am an accomodating man, so leave me your plethora of goats and I shall give you a pug.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:00, Reply)

A plethora?
Certainly not, all the plethoras are belong to me.

You may help yourself to a gaggle of goats, at most.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:03, Reply)

I think dear squire
you may have a man-deal. Shake hands or guns at dawn to commit?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:04, Reply)

Hands? Guns?
I only ever seal a deal with a quick shake of the tush, followed by a dangle, then a wiggle of the Sexmonkey goo-producing-meat-stick.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:05, Reply)

I'd prefer
something I can quantify.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:09, Reply)

Oooh Ethel!
Like the board sig!
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:16, Reply)

morning peeps
Is it the weekend yet?
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:20, Reply)

Good morning, Lustful one!
I've had a can of stimulating beverage, so I'm all cheery and slightly quivery now.

I'm afraid the weekend is a day and a half away yet. Actually, it's a bit less for me, as I have tomorrow afternoon off to go to the dentist. If I remember...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:21, Reply)

@K2k6
A trip to the dentist does not the weekend make!

I'd rather be at work than have someone with rubber gloves poking at my molars.

EDIT and 'ello Wanderlust, baked any phallic cakes lately?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:22, Reply)

Bienvenue, Lusty!
Hope Thursday finds you well!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:23, Reply)

@ clendrix
Glad you like it :) Got my philosophical head on today.


Its the weekend for me tonight! Got tomorrow off to look round the london motor show :)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:24, Reply)

I'm just going to pretend it's Wednesday
then, tomorrow when I wake up and think it's Thursday it'll be a nice surprise to realise it's actually Friday.
Lordy, I'm a loser.
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:25, Reply)

Lordy rock
Well the Finnish Lordy do.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:26, Reply)

@ethelred
I don't like Lordy, I much prefer bands with faces.
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:28, Reply)

They have faces
just behind masks. Or maybe they don't :|
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:29, Reply)

There's always that doubt though.
I don't like not knowing.
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:32, Reply)

@Bert
Ah, but it's just an inspection, although I do have one tooth giving me a bit of bother. But I've honestly never had an issue with dentists. I'd rather have a gloved finger poked in my gob than a mouthful of crap teeth.

The fact that I do have a mouthful of crap teeth is incidental, because that's genetic.

Edit - I suppose my argument could be extended to prostate cancer, albeit that both the preventative examination and illness are much less pleasant!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:34, Reply)

@K2k6
Tell me about it, you're Scottish, aren't you?

So am I, and absolutely terrible, awful teeth run in my family, no matter how hard I fight it, they're yellow and falling out already.

EDIT I don't know, I quite enjoy the odd prostate exam once in a while (don't tell the Mrs though)
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:36, Reply)

@lusty bum
Not knowing is the seed of life. Knowledge is the key
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:36, Reply)

My dad
is in his late 60s and has excellent teeth. A couple of little fillings and one missing tooth because of damage years ago, but that's it. My mum on the other hand, despite her best efforts, has dozens of fillings and half a dozen teeth fewer than she started with.

Guess whose I inherited :(
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:39, Reply)

Argh!
Stupid doctors, 'Here, have some anti-inflammatorys and try and rest it.'

Useless.

My last dentist visit went tres well considering my Irn Bru intake.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:40, Reply)

@K2k6
I'm the same, my Mum has teeth like Judge Death, if he'd gone thirteen rounds with Mike Tyson.

@PoD Irn Bru FTW! I haven't had that stange, orange stuff in a while now.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:42, Reply)

Its awesome stuff
I just finished can 1 of the day.

I average 4 cans a day at work.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:44, Reply)

@ethelred
lusty bum? Have you seen my bum? Do you know it's lusty?
Or do you mean bum as in tramp?

@PoD are your insides orange?
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:46, Reply)

Goodness gracious Mr Penguin!
That's an awful lot of tooth-rot you're inflicting on yourself there.

I used to drink about four cans of coke a day in my old job, so it's no wonder my teeth are rotten
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:46, Reply)

Mornin' all
Just a quick whoring of my post before the QOTW closes. Just a few more clicks and it will be in this week's 'best of'.

Weather here is hot and going to get hotter and much more humid later. 27 degrees and raining is not my cup of tea.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:49, Reply)

morning all
To make a change I am clothed today, knickers and everything.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:49, Reply)

Teeth, don't talk to me about teeth!
I too have bad teeth, and both of my parents have had to have all of theirs taken out.

It must be a gentic thing, as both of my syblings have the bad, or removed teeth.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:51, Reply)

I also consume
a fair amount of Bru, as PoD picked up on from my sig the other day.

Usually diet stuff, so there's no sugar, but it's full of acid. And aspartame and other nasties!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:51, Reply)

4 cans a day?
Bloody hell, they must have to peel you off the ceiling.

That said, Irn Bru FTW. I could have done with a cold glass bottle of that yesterday.

And ning, Spakka, you filthy little QOTW whore!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:51, Reply)

@ wander
I can only imagine!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:52, Reply)

I may have managed four cans of Orange Tango in a day at an old job. Not done any harm.
And yes, I feel dirty for whoring my post, but to be fair, I was away for most of the QOTW.

EDIT: mornin' Mrs Liveinabin.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:56, Reply)

Diet Irn Bru???
But Diet Irn Bru is just wrong. It tastes funny and the white design makes it look like something you'd pick up in aldi as a cheepo substitute! Cant get it over here =( Many a weekend wasted in bed would have been solved with a Buttrey and a can of ice cold Bru
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:56, Reply)

Diet Irn Bru
is my beverage of choice as I'm not actually that keen on the sticky sugariness of the four-star stuff. I'm aware that it's probably less good for me than the real thing is though.

I have people working above me on the lab roof here today, and apart from the clumping of boots, I can also hear gas flames roaring away and can smell ethyl acetate. This is confusing me, so I may have to investigate.

Edit - seeing as how we are QOTW post-whoring today...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:00, Reply)

I have never tried Irn Bru.
I feel I'm missing out. I might have to go to the shops.
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:05, Reply)

@clendrix
It tastes of sweet, acidic death.

S'quite nice really.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:09, Reply)

When I was working in India
I lived with a group of scottish girls. My mummy came to vist so I asked her bring a few bottles of Irn Bru. I have never seen so many people get that excited about a soft drink! Ever!
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:09, Reply)

Whenever I can't find Orange Tango
I sometimes drink Irn Bru instead. Even had a small bottle of it when in Exeter last week.

Orange Fanta just isn't the same.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:11, Reply)

@wanderlust
I love how so many scottish people are so excited by it, simply because it comes from Scotland. It must be one of their/our (because I'm scottish, but I'm not) few remaining exports.

Tizer also rocks.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:12, Reply)

@Bert
I know! I swear one of the girls cried tears of joy/pride.

@spakka, fanta reminds me of my grandad.
It was all he would drink for about a year before he died, and he'd only eat marmalade on white bread whilst telling me to watch out for the darkies.
The orange loving racist.
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:15, Reply)

Top Fact
(that may be wrong but I was told it as a fact)

Scotland is the only country in the world where a locally produced fizzy drink outsells Coca Cola.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:20, Reply)

@al
Snort sherbet of your Mrs's boobs, you could pretend you're that Robert feller from Robocop, and she's the prostitute, might be best not to get blown up with a grenade though.

@Mrs Liveinabin Oooooh! I like your facts.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:23, Reply)

Russian Irn Bru
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:RussianIrnBru.jpg
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:23, Reply)

@Al
Have you tried a hot bath? It might take the aches away...

Unless of course you're at work. That would be entirely inappropriate.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:24, Reply)

@Al
Go back to bed and just sleep through it.


Sleep.....sleeeeep.......sleeeeeeeep.
( girlinthehole, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:25, Reply)

@al
have a bath, drink lots of water have a lie down and i'll be round to check on you later.
My nurses uniform is at home though.
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:26, Reply)

@Al
Have you tried Lemsip?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:26, Reply)

Russian Irn Bru transliterated back
sounds like "AJRN BRIOU"

@Wanderlust: I'm sure Al wouldn't mind you not wearing a nurse's uniform.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:29, Reply)

Right
I'm off out for a bit.

I shall return. I might have some Irn Bru.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:30, Reply)

Bollocks to Lemsip
Fresh honey and lemon juice, hot water, shot of Whisky.

Cures all ills.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:33, Reply)

Do you want to get better or not?
Drink the Whisky
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:35, Reply)

@al
Oi! :D

If you do have a bath, dunk your head under the water, and pretend you're a submarine.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:36, Reply)

^What Bert said
Especially if you up-periscope and manage to make the sonar noises too, as they resonate nicely in a metal bathtub.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:37, Reply)

'nings
Tizer used to rock. now it tastes of fruit not sugar and additives
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:37, Reply)

Lemsip
is just paracetamol plus sugar plus crap.
Stick to the tablets and get some of Mrs Bin's remedy down your neck.
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:37, Reply)

@al
Damn that vile woman!

How dare she force you to drag your poor, diseased arse all the way over to the other side of the room.

@b_k I have had Tizer for a while, have they ruined it? -if so, heads will roll.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:41, Reply)

@al
Maybe the horrific spelling in this message I received from a young man on a profile site will cheer you up.
Or it'll make you want to rip you own eyes out.

What do you think guys? Is he a keeper??

london is cool id love 2 walk by the thems @ night. im from northampton. i work at morrisons as a manager its a good job, ell i fink n e ways. i like going 2 the gym, palyin n watchin footie @ a sunday lauge level only haha wb xx
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:43, Reply)

To answer some questions...
I do not know if my insides are orange, 'lust, as I have never looked. I fear that they may well be. 2 of my teeth are also going semi-translucent.

DiT, no ceiling peeling was necessary, that was just kind of standard. On a particularly warm day I had 6 cans, and still felt fine. I sometimes actually feel worse if I haven't had any :(

And al, I'm going to have to go with bgb's suggestion of sleeping. Or you could go for a bath and sleep. Although that may not be an altogether brilliant idea.

edit - that's truly awful 'lusty. Just truly awful.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:45, Reply)

'Ning everyone
I stupidly drank half a box of wine and argued on the internet for 5 hourse last night.
I feel like such a fool:(
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:45, Reply)

@wanderlust
Oh god, that sounds like my brother.

Ignore him, he's married anyway, and he's a shortarse, so he doesn't compare to GIGANTACOCK.

EDIT I wish they'd post a new question already, I'm bored out of my tits.
POST A FUCKING QUESTION YOU FUCKING MOD CUNTS.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:45, Reply)

^work of art
He signed it wb - let's all figure out what that could stand for...
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:46, Reply)

Tizer
was never one of my favourite drinks. But there were many worse. Pola Cola, Red Kola, Iron Brew (which was a very, very poor imitation of the real thing) and Cherryade, to name but a few.

And do you remember MeriMates? They were little sealed plastic containers shaped like miniature dustbins full of some brightly coloured liquid purporting to be fruit flavoured. You had to punch the top film with the straw to gain access to the drink, then once you were finished the plasticiser-flavoured contents, the empty container made a pleasingly loud bang when you stamped on it!

Edit @ 'lust - that bloke should be shot to remove him from the gene pool. WB - wee bollocks?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:46, Reply)

Have a hot bovril drink.
And make sure you eat something! Feed a cold, starve a fever.

OR I could miniaturise myself, and get injected in to you in a comedy collision in a mall. And then I could have all sorts of adventures in your body while killing all of the bad things that are making you ill.

EDIT: He looks like a keeper, lusty. I'm surprised you haven't raced to Northants already!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:47, Reply)

@BK
You weren't still having that religion argument, were you?
FFS man, burning is the only language these people understand, you know that!

K2k6 - Wee Bollocks! Yes, this is it.
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:48, Reply)

wb
Worthless bumhole?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:48, Reply)

@K
I remember Merrimates,
they were fucking awful. Used to freeze them and have them as massive ice pops.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:49, Reply)

@al
WOW. She sounds great, you're a very lucky man.

I'm sure that my Mrs would be equally lovely, if we were living together. I need her to move in with me so that I have a reason to get up in the mornings.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:49, Reply)

@Bert.
I don't think I'll bother replying then, though I must say he sounds like quite a catch!

@clendrix, I think he means write back, I don't think I will somehow. He's sent me a few messages before one of them was genius!
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:49, Reply)

mornin' bk & BK
@WL: I'd ignore him just for the short length of his profile.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:50, Reply)

He watches and plays football
so he can't be all bad.

But mostly bad.
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:51, Reply)

'clendrix
I was, to my shame. So I'm hungover and fed up at work.
Still, the new Lady BK is coming over tomorrow for lasagne and sexytime so woooo!

Morning Spakka!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:53, Reply)

I could even...
Do that thing where I canm change the shape of your face so you can impersonate a Columbian drug smuggler!

EDIT: Joins calls to see the other messages! My girlfriend got one once that simply said 'Ur hot wanna fuk?'. I'm surprised she didn't leave me there and then...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:55, Reply)

.
@Al: Tell your Mrs. that having to walk to the phone makies you not alright, but she's still a fab person.

@Bert: I quite like this QOTW. While you're waiting for the new QOTW, check this thread for anyone whoring their QOTW entries and read those.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:55, Reply)

@spakkaman
The only people whoring their posts were you and K2k6, and I already clicked both of those.

Someone post something funny, please?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:57, Reply)

@ al
first message was:
hi ya u sound reaily nice babe love 2 hear more about u x

which is still quite shocking, but at least he's semi polite. When I asked what he'd like to know he said...

whts ur idea of a romantic nite?
i love london i wnt 2 live there 1 day. theres nothing like clean sheets i change my bed evey 5 days lol i love snuggling n chillin.
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:58, Reply)

I second the call for other messages.
Straight men never get messages like that.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:58, Reply)

@wanderlust
Mmmm... clean sheets.

I'm surprised you didn't hop on the train to northampton, and face-rape him to death.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:00, Reply)

@al
I haven't changed mine in nearly 2 weeks, but only because the left side of my bed still smells like Mrs Sexmonkey's perfume.

Ahhh....

EDIT smothering's not as much fun as suffocation by faff though, surely?

I reckon he has to change his sheets every 5 days to remove DNA evidence
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:02, Reply)

I wonder...
I visualise a guy, mid twenties, arriving home from another hard shift managing Northampton Morrisons. He's maybe had to clean up aisle five after a child did a small poo there. He's had a logistical nightmare getting the shelves restocked. He's almost certainly nearly lobotomised himself byt trying to work out a rotor for the tills. And trying to co-ordinate all those quasi-celebrities walking around banging on about how much they like their meat cut just right, doesn't even bear thinking about.

He sits down at his computer, alive with the possibilities of the internet. His friend, Big John, met a girl there, and if Big John can do it then why can't he?

He logs on to a networking site, and eventually finds a lady that takes his eye. In her photo, the light plays on her hair and her eyes contain all the mysteries of womanhood. She lives in cosmopolitan London, at the end of the Yellow Brick M1, and he is taken immediately by thoughts of romance and relationships.

He prepares himself, and then BANGS HIS HEAD REPEATEDLY ON THE KEYBOARD hoping against all hope that his witless drivelings will somehow, someday, get him a date.

Today is not that day.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:05, Reply)

@DiT
Damn you for making me laugh!

When o when are they going to install an 'I like this' button for replies?

*clicks ignore instead*

It's just not the same.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:06, Reply)

@al
Stop with the references to Inner Space, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly and Quantum Leap, I'm having far too many amusing flashbacks!

I love that Sam Beckett was able to pull a woman in every episode, even when he was a woman himself. -and then he became the first captain of the Starship Enterprise.

EDIT oh and Al, good old Al, he was SO cool.

*slaps Ziggy*

*strange computerised noise*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:10, Reply)

@Al
According to Ziggy, there's more for him to do just yet. If that can of tuna doesn't fall off the shelf, then little Jimmy will never trip on it and crack his head open on the side, meaning his mother will never discover his brains spread across the floor, thus leaving her emotionally stable and therefore not an easy lay for Dr. Sam Beckett.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:14, Reply)

Yes, he did.
I believe it was his sister, possibly his carer.

Even when he was a pregnant woman in labour, he managed to snog somebody.

Al was the king himself, him and his crazy tales of his many ex wives.
*rolls eyes*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:14, Reply)

@DiT
I laughed so much at that I had to go to the ladies as a little bit of wee came out :(
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:15, Reply)

for ages
i thought al and bert might be the same person!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:15, Reply)

@'swipe
REALLY?!

Surely not? He's a far more eloquent, together person than I am.

Sorry al, sometimes I feel like we're part of the same whole person, but we're not. :C
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:19, Reply)

I loved Quantum Leap
Then years later I saw Waiting for Godot, and thought, "Samuel Beckett, wasn't that the name of the character in Quantum......Ahhhhh; clever!"
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:20, Reply)

I bloody LOVE Waiting for Godot...
Waiting for God was not so good.

EDIT: *passes lusty some Tena lady*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:23, Reply)

I need some-a love
like I never needed love before.
(wanna make love to ya baby)
I've had a little love,
now I'm back for more.
Set your spirit free,
It's the only way to be.

Cos tonight is the night,
when al and Bert become wa-ha-hun...

*croons for al*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:27, Reply)

I do have
multiple profiles....

EDIT Damn, now i can't login to my Sexmonkey, or my Sensible Bert Profiles. Wha's going on there then?
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:29, Reply)

Shouldn't it be
Bert Sexmonkey's Evil Twin now?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:31, Reply)

...but I hardly ever use them


@PoD Nah, Bert Monkeysex still exists, and i'm hoping to have the name back soon.

Apparently Madam Marlboro and beckyjsbx are planning something that might feature in the Newsletter.
(Jam Mister Geordie wants to build bridges, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:32, Reply)

I know it still exists
I stole it at first, and then gave it to MM cos' she asked me the nicely.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:38, Reply)

this
I need some-a love
like I never needed love before.
(wanna make love to ya baby)
I've had a little love,
now I'm back for more.
Set your spirit free,
It's the only way to be.

Cos tonight is the night,
when al and Bert become wa-ha-hun...

*croons for al*

may well be the most disturbing thing i have ever read.

the crooning is a horrible image, it's like a toothless old convict or hag rocking slowly and caressing a rope/knife whilst stealthing around to slit/hang something.

or is that just me?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:38, Reply)

@Rachel
Thank you very much! I feel like I've achieved something today.

If you wanna be my lover,
you gotta get with my goats.
Make it last forever,
Capraphilia never ends...

You wanna get with me? You gotta listen carefully,
You got al in the place, who likes it in your face,
You got DiT, like PoD, who likes it on an easy G,
chcb doesn't come for free,
she's a real lady,
and as for me? Ah, you'll see...

EDITED for a better tomorrow
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:41, Reply)

I was gonna point that out Bert
But just felt so special for being mentioned really.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:45, Reply)

Consider yourself lucky
I put you in because your initials rhyme with 'free'.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:47, Reply)

Wow
I feel less special now.

Just read possible side effects of my anti-inflammitorys:

(rarely) kidney disease.

Great.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:49, Reply)

@PoD
There, there, little flightless bird, you'll always be special to me.

I googled the real lyrics, and edited to what they actually sing. It's rather odd.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:54, Reply)

Good afternoon busom buddies.
I've just been propositioned by a French lesbian on Myspace.

Can my day get any better.: )
( girlinthehole, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:56, Reply)

Nice al
What else could I get?

- dark, tarry stools
- bleeding in the stomach
- Jaundice, which sounds interesting
- A small increased chance of heart attack or stroke
- Rarely kidney disease
- Occasionally liver disease. Worryingly, it seems to happen more than kidney disease
- Confusion
- Hallucinations
- Mental slowing
- Hair loss
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:57, Reply)

@ BGB
First dibs on the movie rights!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 12:59, Reply)

@ POD
sounds an interesting medicine, you sure it isn't Weedkiller?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:01, Reply)

Sorry Ethel.
It will be a strictly BGB production.

I envisage something involving Joan of Arc and me dressed as the Dauphan.
( girlinthehole, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:01, Reply)

@al
The lyric distinctly says that 'Em in the place likes it in your face', so I guess that you do to.

*opens wide like a sex doll*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:02, Reply)

Pretty sure it's not weedkiller
*checks*

Nope, it isn't. It's all still a bit worrying though.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:06, Reply)

It's all gone a bit quiet
Has everyone gone and got kidney disease?
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:17, Reply)

Still here.
Sleepy.
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:20, Reply)

@wanderlust
Everybody must be at lunch.

Tell me something nice, let's have a proper discussion.

*sits cross legged on the floor*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:20, Reply)

I'm here, mooching about.
Debating on whether to add a cold beer to my lunch arrangement...

*sits cross legged and waits to be told interesting things*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:22, Reply)

@Bert
something nice...

Well, this morning a very nice young man smiled at me on the tube and when the train got a little bit more crowded I accidentally on purpose rubbed up against him.
It was very nice indeed.
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:23, Reply)

I've already done the lunch thing
It was toastie-tastic.

And I need to shower before heading off to work later. Stupid hair cut leaving loads of little bits of hair.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:24, Reply)

@wanderlust
If I did that, I'd get an extension to my time on the sex offenders register.

@al Corned beef ftw! Beans is EVIL.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:26, Reply)

beans and corned beef both FTW
I suggest mashing them up together, encasing in puff pastry and baking in the oven until golden brown

delicious
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:29, Reply)

'Ello
Also, goodbye.
I'll be back tomorrow some time.
( Cawl, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:29, Reply)

@al
I think you'd be surprise at how pervy some women can be.

Edit: @Bert.
I fucking hate beans. They're just wrong. The thought of them going anywhere near my mouth makes me feel ill :(
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:29, Reply)

Defo corned beef
Though it is clearly a pale imitation of the wonderous SPAM!

EDIT: BEANS ARE EVIL AND MUST BE DESTROYED!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:31, Reply)

@wanderlust
You're pervy, AND you hate beans?

We're made for each other! I'm going to stick Mrs Sexmonkey in a cannon and fire her to Jupiter.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:32, Reply)

hello again all!
I'm back from my interview which turned out to be a preinterview interview. phew, that was a relief.
What did i miss? I can't be bothered to go and read it all!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:32, Reply)

@Bert
I'm also a goat farmer...
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:33, Reply)

can't stand the tinned spaghetti in tomato sauce
if the sauce was the same as that from a tin of beans then maybe, but as it's not....bleurgh

I'm so bored. how can I not be bored and yet get my work done at the same time?

Edit: @Lucy: that is a relief. did you find out what position they wanted you for? (snigger)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:35, Reply)

@wanderlust
Seriously? Oh dear, sweet mother of God.

Ay Chihuahua!

Let us run away to Gretna Green, we shall be married in the morning.
*runs and skips away, hopefully holding wanderlust's hand*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:36, Reply)

Tinned sgetti is good,
It's cheap and nasty, but load that up on to some toasted and lightly buttered bread and you've got a whole new dimension of comfort food!

I would also suggest, when you have the ingredients, a cheddar cheese and Danish Salami toastie. Hea-ven.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:36, Reply)

@al
Why not have all of that together? I'm having a very continental cheese bread and salami lunch :) Yum!
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:36, Reply)

I'm not a fan
of tinned spag or any sort of tinned pasta.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:37, Reply)

Vipros
I did indeed discover the position (stop sniggering now, come on). However it's with an Italian team and will basically be all in italian. So i better crack out the grammar books again in preparation for the interview on Tuesday.
*sighs*
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:38, Reply)

it's hard to stop sniggering....
I'm sure you will do well.

I wouldn't though, foreign languages are like a foreign language to me
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:39, Reply)

Tinned spaghetti and poached eggs on toast
is the breakfast of kings.

*holds bert's hand all the way to a bean free wedding*
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:41, Reply)

Well thank you
What's the worse that could happen? They don't understand me? I've had that before more than once!
Damn, it's so hot. I'm not good with the sticky weather. yuk.
Edit - Al - A nommy eating machine? i'm going to steal that phrase!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:42, Reply)

@wanderlust
you will find that eggs benedict is the breakfast of kings

mmmmmm


oh crap! I forgot to take the lasagne out of the freezer!

this may not seem like much of a problem, but I haven't been living in my house all week, so there is no other food....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:43, Reply)

@al
That concoction, minus the beans and the bread, plus noodles, worcester sauce, brown sauce, and Num Pla fish sauce, makes the bestest breakfast EVER.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:44, Reply)

@vipros
fair point! Eggs benedict is more of a emperor's breakfast though.
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:47, Reply)

hmmm, not sure
king or emperor

we will have to feed it to Empress BobFossil and see if she approves.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:48, Reply)

@LvP
Good work on the interview so far! Aceness...
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:50, Reply)

Al
I don't mean to offend but that breakfast sounds horrible! i don't think i could eat that at all.
but each to their own, i know!
@Edmund - i am doing the aceness dance, right now!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:53, Reply)

*prances around holding a glass*
containing banana milk, would have preferred chocolate, but they didn't have any.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:56, Reply)

@ Al
I thought the same about LvP!

LvP:Requiem
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:58, Reply)

Al
Having never seen the film, I have no knowledge but I reckon I could take on the Predator, I'm feeling lairy today.
Possibly because i'm going out for drinks tonight with Mr VP and his work colleagues. Most of whom I dislike.
So yes Al, LvP as Lucy vs Predator is good for me!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:58, Reply)

al
please confirm your address for service for a claim in which i expect to recover more than £5,000 but less than £10,000 for damage caused to my shoes and handbag...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 14:18, Reply)

Well kids
I'm off to work now for a whole 3 hours! Oh yeah.

Smell y'all later.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 14:20, Reply)

@Lucy
I would suggest that you never see that film, it sucks great big monkey balls, and that's from a fan of both of the series' including AvP. Grats on the interview btw.

Hello again everybody.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 14:25, Reply)

Afternoon Dok.
Behaving yourself?
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 14:31, Reply)

Clendrix
Me? Behave myself? Who's been telling you these falsehoods I'd like to have words with them. Stern words like 'What?'

But yes I have, yourself?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 14:34, Reply)

Bloody shitfire.
I've only just managed my first fag-break of the day. Stupid work.

How is everyone this afternoon? I am staggering back towards the land of the living, following mild overindulgence in lager and fried chickens last night. Conan was on when I got in though, so that was nice.

Quick survey - If you encounter Conan just starting while channel surfing, how much do you have to watch before you can go to bed without losing all of your manpoints? I am unsure whether it should be the first time he says "CROM" or the bit where he punches a camel.

I understand that not watching it all the way to the end means I still lose most of my manpoints.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 14:36, Reply)

@al
Simple solution:

DON'T SHIT ON YOUR GIRLFRIEND
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 14:36, Reply)

Don't know Wookie
I've never watched it past the first Crom!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 14:38, Reply)

I watched almost all of Conan last night.
I think he'd just killed the snake and jumped off the roof.

I'd forgotten how excellent is is. particularly the camel punching!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 14:38, Reply)

@bert
I'm sorry, have i missed something crucial here? Has al been getting craphappy recently?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 14:43, Reply)

*contemplates boring al and all
with the difficulty of suing for mental anguish*

*decides against it and instead says something flippant about needing to be a girlfriend beating cocaine addicted alcoholic ugly snoring cunting hose beast before he needs to worry about it*

*then remembers it's al....*
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 14:43, Reply)

Dok
I am, of course, being very well-behaved.

Wookie - five minutes should do it.
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 14:46, Reply)

noon all
What did I miss?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 31 Jul 2008, 14:46, Reply)

@Lucy
al posted this; I'm not sure I like the sound of that. Still, I will now countersue you for mental anguish caused by my now constant fear of shitting on my girlfriend and having her post stories about it on the interweb. -to rachelswipe.

The filthy beggar.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 14:46, Reply)

DiT
hasn't had much to say.
Do you think he's had too much custom on 99p special day?
I hope he hasn't been broken.
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 14:48, Reply)

AAaah
I see. Suddenly I understand.
I do apologise for making you spell out the obvious there. Maybe I should have a nap now.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 14:49, Reply)

I as read B3ta surreptitiously...

and almost exclusively at work, I only ever have it open in a small window. Consequently I find it looks really odd when full screen at home and I therefore reduce back down to "work size".

Does anyone else do this?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 14:51, Reply)

@clendrix
Good, good. Glad you're being a good girl.

I wish I could work from home though. I've been editing a document for my boss today and so far I've managed to half the size of it just by fixing his formatting. He wrote it in a bloody text editor!

@NakedApe Nope I have it the same size at home and at work, that's when I get a chance to look at it at home.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 14:52, Reply)

@clendrix
DiT is tied up in my dungeon cellar, being nibbled by goats, while wearing nothing but a few leather straps and a ball gag in his mouth.

People discussing Conan? I wonder how many man points I lose for watching the Freaky Friday remake last night, and only knocking out two over the Lohan.

@NakedApe Hell yes! I find it weird to view b3ta fullscreen. When I type stories I use unusually short paragraphs because otherwise it doesn't look right in my tiny window.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 14:52, Reply)

al
now come on, you know i'm only joking. it's not all true. you're not ugly, anyway!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 14:53, Reply)

I'm here.
Sadly, there's not much business down here in SE1 today. I thought this prostitution lark was going to be glamorous, and I would be servicing some film starlets while they're in town and sexually unfulfilled.

All I've got is a debilitating heroin habit courtesy of my pimp and a bruise. I'm considering giving it up.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 14:54, Reply)

Hiya peoples
Where has the sunshine gone to? :(
(Moniker, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:00, Reply)

I have failed as a pimp.
Not sure whether to be happy or sad about this.
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:00, Reply)

Oh, many.
Scarlett Johansson. Megan Fox. Charlize Theron. Natalie Portman. That kind of thing.

Or Pamela Anderson, if she's in town.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:01, Reply)

@al
Yeah, she's too young in Freaky Friday.

Herbie Fully Loaded is on this Friday, I'm going to wreck my hand that night.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:02, Reply)

@Moniker
I stolded it all away. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

@clendrix You may fail at the pimping but The Itteh Bitteh Kitteh Committeh would have you anyday.

EDIT for spelling

Edit 2 for lack of typing skills
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:03, Reply)

That was mean Herr Doktor
Can I have some back please? Maybe just a little bit?
(Moniker, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:07, Reply)

Moniker
I'll just pop outside and see if I can release some back into the wild for you.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:09, Reply)

We had a Lohan calendar in my old flat.
She would disappear every couple of days. She'd be back after a couple of hours, but by the end of that year I'd swear the pictures were beginning to have a distrubed look in their eyes...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:11, Reply)

@al -I tried to watch it once
I couldn't get over how unbelievably shit it was though.

The Lohan only really does it for me in Herbie. I don't know why, but I could seriously ruin her in that film.

EDIT oh, and in The Parent Trap too. She may be about 12, but there's TWO of her!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:11, Reply)

Dok
Thanks for that!

My pimping days are over. DiT, you're free to roam as before (unless Bert still has you in chains).
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:13, Reply)

@ Bert
The presence of the mighty Bruce Campbell is enough to transmute anything nearby into sparkly wonderfulness. This is why you find the Lohan worthy.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:13, Reply)

@al
Can't remember the name of the film, but there was one with Neve Campbell and Denise Richards OMDG fwappage material if ever that was!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:15, Reply)

@ Edmund
Wild Things, m'boy.

*reminisces*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:15, Reply)

@Edmund
Bad Wild Things. (cheers WGW) - The trouble with that film though, is that Denise Richards looks about as real as the latex doll I keep in my cupboard.

This conversation is taking a seriously sad turn. I was only perving over the Lohan because I'm a Dad, and we're supposed to.

@WGW Bruce Cambell is all of the win, he was in that other Herbie remake (with the scottish guy in a black beetle) a few years back too.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:17, Reply)

Having discovered a while ago
who this Lindsay Lohan person is, I can't see the fascination with her. I don't find her particularly attractive. She got her kit off for some magazine a while back, but she's nothing special.

And hello, Moniker.

*readies sponge*

*realises it's not that warm today*

*gets back to work*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:18, Reply)

Where have all the ladies gone.
This has just turned into a big perv session.

To bring it back to more civilised conversation I 'm cooking some muffins, who wants some?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:20, Reply)

*coughs*
ah-hem.
Room for a female in this conversation or shall I leave you gentlemen to it?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:20, Reply)

Hiya K2k6
Never have I knowingly refused a sponge... ;)
(Moniker, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:21, Reply)

@K2k6
1st, have kids.

2nd, watch Herbie Fully Loaded. Bear in mind that it's nothing like the old Herbie films though, the car is certainly not the star of the film.

@Lucy Join in if you like, what are your views of the Lohan?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:22, Reply)

hi lucy
Good to see there is at least one other girly here.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:22, Reply)

hi mrs liveinabin
My views on Lohan are wholly negative. I can understand gentlemen needing a good perv on someone, but her?
What's wrong with Natalie Portman, or somebody similar?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:23, Reply)

I've seen lohan's vag
Well, a picture of it.
It wasn't very nice :(
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:24, Reply)

hello wanderlust
eeeeeeew, what was wrong with it?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:25, Reply)

Portman's pretty
and I did like her when I first saw Episode 1, but she appears to completely lack any personality or charm whatsoever (in the films I've seen her in at least).

Lohan's the exception to my usual preference for older, more feminine women (But only in Herbie).
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:27, Reply)

*sponges Moniker with pleasantly warm water*
It's a magic sponge, this. I stole it from a football physio.

@Bert, I've no intentions of having kids, so I fear the Lohan attraction will forever be a mystery to me.

Edit - Haven't seen the Lohan minge, but I did see the Britney pics, which a mate of mine described as 'trailer trash gash'. I thought that summed it up.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:27, Reply)

it looked like it might bite you.
I have also seen Britney Spears' lady lips and Sophie Ellis-Bexter's.
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:28, Reply)

@wanderlust
No ones vag is nice.

And I really have just put some muffins in the oven!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:29, Reply)

Tis true
There are few pretty lady purses out there. But they are all to be loved. A friend of mine once said "As long as it's warm and inviting, I don't care how it looks!".
I got mine pierced to make it a bit prettier. :)
Edit - May I have a muffin please? As long as it's not banana!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:31, Reply)

@Mrs
All vag's are nice, sure some might look like they've been through a mangle, and others look as though they've been involved in an industrial accident, but they're all beautiful, exotic ladyflowers anyway.

Until I come in them, then they look like a Bulldog chewing mayonnaise.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:31, Reply)

@K2k6
Us physios tend to use spray on magic these days, but I'm kinda liking this sponge thing! Can I keep you?!
(Moniker, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:31, Reply)

@lucy
Does that not have a risk of losing sensitivity?
My friend pierced her own! (she is a body piercer though so not so bad. Still ouch though)
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:33, Reply)

wanderlust
I think there's always a risk with piercing, but its the hood that gets pierced, not the clit itself, so the jewellery just touches it, rather than goes through it.
And by jove does it work!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:35, Reply)

@Lucy


:O
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:35, Reply)

@lucy
you're a braver lady than me!
I've got both my nipples pierced but I think that's about as far as I could go!
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:36, Reply)

:)
Sorry bert, did I shock you there?
Wanderlust - I have my nipples pierced too. I love piercings!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:37, Reply)

Now I thought that we were going to raise the level of conversation
but no.

We talk about getting your flaps pierced.

Oh, kitchen timer has gone off better go and see if my muffins have gone hard or if they're still all sloppy!

edit to correct spelling
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:38, Reply)

Boooo
My attemt to release the sun back into the wild has failed. It looks to have become too domesticated and ran away and hid behind the clouds!

Lohan, nope can't say I would perve over that, nor Portman. I shall keep my perveyness a secret for the moment.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:38, Reply)

I will be your personal sponger, Moniker
I may start charging after a while, but there's a generous free trial period!

@Mrs Bin - a muffin would be rather pleasing. I like a good muffin at any time of day.

Edit - Al, you must be pretty ill. All this talk of pierced flaps, nipples, etc and not once have you invoked The Rule.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:39, Reply)

Dok
it's not one of the daleks, is it? The one with the particularly big, er, thing that sticks out.

*stumbles over correct terminology*
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:40, Reply)

@lucy
piercings FTW
I've got 16. The only reason I can't get anymore is because "they're not corporate" so I'd lose my job :(
It's also the reason I had to get rid of my dreads. Working for a bank is full of teh gay sometimes.
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:41, Reply)

Boo to the bank
That does sound uber gash.
stupid banks. I personally don't like them because my account is so empty. but that is my fault i suppose.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:43, Reply)

@Lucy
Just a little bit, I've seen lots of piercings in my time, but not pierced genitals.

I fear I may be missing out.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:44, Reply)

@lucy
I work for an investment bank so it's fair enough I guess. It still makes me a bit sad though.
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:45, Reply)

@clendrix
I think the correct term is 'sticky out exterminator thingy'.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:45, Reply)

@Bert
I'm sure your lovely lady is plenty enough for you.
It's not just the sensation its the aesthetics as well. I just think piercings look lovely.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:46, Reply)

K2k6
I knew I could rely on you.
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:47, Reply)

@clendrix
Why in the name of the gods would anybody perve over a dalek? But then again one of the Pertwees companions did pose nude with one!

Nope, not a dalek, the two I perve over are human, female, and both born in the early 80's.

EDIT I've only got one peircing and that's the 16mm tube in my ear.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:47, Reply)

Has anyone else
heard the song "Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo" by the Bloodhound Gang? I just came across it.
(Moniker, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:48, Reply)

banks
@wanderlust - I build statistical models for banks (maths FTW) and they're total, total bastards at times (says he, woken at 2am - 4am a couple of nights ago)

@LvP - not necessarily your fault that the accounts empty if they've been charging you a fortune in fees!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:48, Reply)

@Lucy
Mrs Sexmonkey is the absolute ace-est, most incredible and beautiful person on the face of the earth.

But, if she ever gets bored of me I've made a list of things I'll need to do;

Sleep with a woman with pierced ladybits.
Sleep with a natural blonde.
Sleep with a black woman.
Eat more cheese toasties.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:49, Reply)

@al
There's probably pictures on the interwebs somewhere.
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:50, Reply)

@ moniker
yep :) Its' great
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:50, Reply)

^^
What wanderlust said! i have no shame when I get drunk!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:51, Reply)

*offers drinks*
Hey ladies ;-)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:52, Reply)

@Ethelred
I had to listen to it twice to make sure I was hearing it right. Then I laughed so hard a little bit of wee came out. What a top song.
(Moniker, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:53, Reply)

@ moniker
I did the same when I first heard it!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:55, Reply)

FAIL
I just went for a wee and discovered my knickers have been on inside out all day.
22 years old and I still get flummoxed by underwear.
Epic Fail.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:56, Reply)

@ Lucy
Well at least you can wear them the right way round tomorrow - saves washing
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:58, Reply)

@LvP
Could be worse and not worn them - I've done that before.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 15:58, Reply)

@Lucy
You could also do back to front, and inside out, back to front thus making four days' wear in total.

Of course, not wearing any at all negates the requirement to wash them. It's all a compromise between decency, comfort and required work.

Edit - One day a couple of weeks back I went for a pee and was having trouble finding the access port in the front of my boxers. Mainly because it was at the back, as I'd put them on the wrong way round after swimming.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:01, Reply)

@al
They are average sized black pants with white polka dots. Which is how i noticed as the gusset (god I hate that word) was dotty and shouldn't have been.
where oh where is ancrenne and her pants knowledge when I needed her?!
It's ok though, they're the right way round now. Don't panic people!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:03, Reply)

The worry is
when to you wake up to find that your knickers are on inside out, when you are sure you put them on the right way round.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:05, Reply)

@ Mrs Bin
You've had the knicker fairy visit as well huh?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:07, Reply)

My mate's wife
says she always knows when she's had too much to drink the night before. She wakes up naked in the morning, because he's put her to bed!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:08, Reply)

I can always tell when I've drunk too much...
I wake up on the sofa. Denied!

I see the fight for 'last' has broken out over on the main page...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:11, Reply)

It's closed!
Yay!

Edit: The top one was my favourite.

Another Edit: Oh, except that Wookie's Orange Extravaganza had passed me by previously.
This is the work of a genius (bearing in mind Aristotle's declaration that 'there is no great genius without a mixture of madness', of course).
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:18, Reply)

I won the last post
ha to you all.

(with love)
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:18, Reply)

Nice work, Liveinbin! :)
I have to say, though, that I hate all of the 'last' business. There was 4 pages of it! It's just a waste of time and (dare I say it) pushes good stuff off the board. That's part of the reason OT was set up in the first place.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:25, Reply)

Is everyone
on the front page waiting for the QOTW?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:25, Reply)

Yes, DiT
I agree. I no longer participate in the 'last' nonsense, as we've got plenty of nonsense here to keep us occupied these days.

Some good stuff on the win page though!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:26, Reply)

I agree with you DIT
It really was a case of putting of cleaning the bathroom for me.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:27, Reply)

Prolly!
It has gone a bit quiet... You can almost hear fingers hanging over f5...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:27, Reply)

I have a mac
so it's apple r for me!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:29, Reply)

Yes, Apple-R for me too
Which I must admit is a little less convenient than F5. But then again, I could define F5 to do it if I could be arsed.

Kaol's probably lurking somewhere with a press_F5-if_question_has_changed-type-"1st"-else-*frown*-repeat sort of script. So he'll win.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:33, Reply)

I was first once
many moons ago.
It seems to be sufficient, somehow.
Now I can just sit back and see who's next to join the group.
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:34, Reply)

I'm off home in a minute
I just looked out the window, and it's raining here now. Nothing unusual in that, except that it was a lovely morning and I didn't bring my jacket in with me.

Fucksocks.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:40, Reply)

Yay, best page again :)
Also boo, too busy here.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:40, Reply)

Wookie
Are you sure you want this to be a permanent job? Sounds horrific!
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:41, Reply)

Don't worry K2k6
You're waterproof! And there's nothing better than a warm shower after getting cold and wet. Have a nice evening anyway!
(Moniker, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:42, Reply)

I'm all enthusiastic for the permanence right now,
I suspect once I've actually signed a contract I'll stop making so much effort.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:42, Reply)

Just to clarify...
I wasn't being moody at Mrs. Liveinbin, because that last comment was a cracker.

What does get my ire is people posting every three seconds "Last" or "If this isn't last I'm going to rape someone" or "How dare you not change the QOTW according to my schedule... Last"...

I know it's a pain when you want a new QOTW, but the fact remains that this site (for those of us who don't donate) is free, and the people that run it have real jobs. So sometimes things get delayed.

I dunno. I just really hate the attitude that says 'you owe me', when in reality the ginger fuhrer et al owe precisely nothing to any of us.

So yeah. Some lasts are funny. Most is just childish whining.

/gets off soapbox.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:42, Reply)

I don't think I ever tried for last,
but I got it once with a truly dreadful pun.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:44, Reply)

*quivers*
DiT - you tell it like it is!
*feels ashamed at having joined in 'last' fun - was first time ever*

Wookie - that's the spirit!
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:44, Reply)

@DiT
I didn't think you were having a go.

I agree, some people think that the people running this are their tiny dancing bitches, which is not the case!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:46, Reply)

^Well, that's OK then.
Will you do the locomotion with me?

*locomotes*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:48, Reply)

I sure will
Summer Fruit Muffin?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:50, Reply)

Sure thing!
*munches*

Mmm, fruity!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:52, Reply)

@al
Be careful water doesn't get on things it shouldn't!

and oh dear, I don't think I could answer this QOTW without getting arrested!
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 17:02, Reply)

Al
Do you have a desk top PC installed in the bathroom or do you have a precariously balanced laptop?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 31 Jul 2008, 17:05, Reply)

@Wanderlust
You are Nick Leeson in (an admittedly very good) disguise, AICMFP.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 17:09, Reply)

@DiT
Have you seen my $1 billion?
I seem to have misplaced it
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 17:16, Reply)

oh nos!
I appear to have colon cancer.
*is sad*
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 17:19, Reply)

ancrenne!!
ello lovely!
*kisses, hugs*
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 17:22, Reply)

Ladies and Gennerman!
Put your hands together! It's the one.... The only...

AaaaaAAAAaaannnncreeeeeeeennn!

*raucous applause to deafening levels*

Hope you've had a good few days!

EDIT: Lusty, is this it? Down the back of the sofa?

*fills pool*

*scrooge mcducks*

SECONDARY EDIT: Blimey, is that the time! Right then, I'm going home! Buenos noches, folks!

*there'll be bluebirds over the white cliffs of Borough*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 17:24, Reply)

@DiT
maybe my ex wife has it?
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 17:28, Reply)

@al
(who seems to have gone) I can eat toasties whenever I like, but the Mrs steals all of my attention.

Right, I'm off. Cheerio everybody, bye bye b3ta, have a nice weekend!

Bert
x (THIS KISS IS FOR WANDERLUST ONLY)
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 17:29, Reply)

A kiss?
For me?
*feels special*
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 17:31, Reply)

Everyone needs days of silliness.
I probably have far too many though.
It's humid. Boring.
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 17:36, Reply)

@ancrenne
glad you had a good time!
Same old here.
Are you still coming to the mini bash next week?
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 17:36, Reply)

Yups I'll be there!
If clendrix comes aswell I vote I get to be the filling in a clendrix/wanderlust/ancrenne sandwich!
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 17:42, Reply)

This sounds like such an exciting prospect
I shall barely sleep twixt now and then!

Edit: Hello to both!
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 17:43, Reply)

I'm excited now!
Right, home time for me.
I'm seeing actual people not from the internet tonight...so i'll be back tomorrow.
Bye byes all
x
( wanderlust, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 17:53, Reply)

Oops
Too late to say goodbye!
*waves to retreating figure in distance*
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 18:03, Reply)

I've set up a new home for the evening
cos this one's too big!
*repairs to somewhere cosier*
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 18:06, Reply)