Schadenfreude and stalking
On my drive to work this morning I witnessed the silly auld fool who had just cut his car in front of mine and another driver's lose control of his vehicle and crash it into a barrier on the ring road.
And yea, I did lol heartily and shout "YOU DESERVED THAT" at him.
Afterwards I did feel slightly guilty, particularly when little tangle said he thought he looked like a nice old man.
How has the misfortune of others entertained you recently?

Alt: It seems I have successfully managed to stalk Nakers on the internet. It was quite fun.
Luckily for him, I'm probably not dangerous.
Have you ever stalked someone or been stalked?
Did the police get involved?
Did anyone get hurt?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 10:48, 135 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

nakers will soon be my neighbour
we can not have lunch together EVERY DAY.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 10:52, Reply)

I'll be available for not meeting you on Wednesday and all.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 10:53, Reply)

I wondered how easy it would be to fb stalk him
and I've got it down to two possibles. Does he look like an owl with a woolly hat?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 10:54, Reply)

Yes.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 10:55, Reply)

Oh wait, hang on... You're not dangerous are you?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 10:55, Reply)

Woo Hoo!
Top internet stalking!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 10:55, Reply)

It IS fun, isn't it?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 10:56, Reply)

Who shall we do next?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 10:56, Reply)

Who is the most vulnerable?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 10:59, Reply)

Rory!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 10:59, Reply)

poor old rory
i've had about 5 gazzes asking if he's in meltdown at the moment
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:00, Reply)

Why do people think you would know?
ARE you fucking him?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:03, Reply)

does he come across as a man who has ever been fucked?
VIRGIN.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:04, Reply)

She left him a broken shell of a man, apparently

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:05, Reply)

he had to take the elizabeth duke genuine imitation diamante chip ring back :(

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:06, Reply)

Are people really that stupid?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:05, Reply)

Which one is the real rory these days?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:06, Reply)

psychochump

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:07, Reply)

What happened to PsychoChomp?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:08, Reply)

I think he surprised himself when he discovered his skin wasn't as thick as he thought it was.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:09, Reply)

his skin wasn't as thick it wasn't as popular
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:10, Reply)

Ooooo, nicely subtle use of the word "it" there.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:14, Reply)

tbh it was more laziness/strikethrough fail
but curiously appropriate
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:25, Reply)

I think he is Fu manchu again now

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:22, Reply)

no, that's the phantom name stealer
who, let's face it, is probably rory anyway
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:26, Reply)

when is the answer to this question ever "no" ?
ever?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:07, Reply)

careful
he accused me of having a "tired vag and stinky fingers" when he popped up on my linkedin "people you may know" through NO FAULT of my own.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 10:55, Reply)

My ex manager has just received a copy of the file I obtained....
...with copies of his 'less than professional' and downright abusive/potentially libellous/absolutely malicious emails he sent out about me within the company while I was employed by them AND to potential employers after he made me redundant.
I am reliably informed he has been summoned to be at the German HQ on Tuesday to attempt to defend his actions. I have a feeling he won't be coming home happy. Or employed.
Alt: Yes, by a loonball woman I met whilst internet dating some years ago. Not a pleasant experience.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 10:59, Reply)

In his defense, you are a fucking terrible employee with the work ethic of an utter cunt
So I'm not really surprised.

EDIT
(Bazongaloid, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:03, Reply)

Al's back, everyone!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:06, Reply)

Is that the one that's a cunt?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:06, Reply)

Yeah, but he's lovely really.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:07, Reply)

No that's Captain Placid.
Al is the one who is a real Captain Placid.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:07, Reply)

he's horrific
like an acid bath of a cunt
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:07, Reply)

Like your cunt then?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:08, Reply)

exactly
i can vaporise a metal seat in 2 seconds
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:09, Reply)

I'm confused
Am I Al?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:10, Reply)

We all are. Or Bert, or baldmonkey

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:12, Reply)

Is this like an 'Unholy trinity'?
'In the name of Al, Bert and Baldmonkey, I bless you my child'.
I think this could catch on!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:15, Reply)

If you invoke those three then the end of the world is nigh....

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:21, Reply)

I once created an exact replica 'myspace' page for someone I don't like, the only change I made was his sexuality.
It really was most amusing to see the uproar this 'imposter' page caused, especially after all the 'friends' accepted the 'requests' and I started posting vile filth, fucking retards. Most fun, would do again.
I also did something where the police *did* get involved, but I had covered my tracks quite successfully because I'm a fucking sneaky arsehole when necessary, and the whole affair was blamed on a York based scammer, apparently. That is all.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:00, Reply)

well this is worrying...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:01, Reply)

Don't cross me, woman.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:01, Reply)

don't cross you?
i have no intention of going anywhere near you. EVER.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:02, Reply)

Keep it that way.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:03, Reply)

stop pestering me with cockgazzes then

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:04, Reply)

Do you *really* want me to post the shit you've been sending me, desperately pleading to take me for a meat feast pizza and that you'll pay?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:06, Reply)

you have a fertile imagination
based on the content of the last cockgaz, i think you should rename yourself "dr tadpole".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:08, Reply)

Fertile yes, unlike your barren womb.
Glad you got the pics though.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:12, Reply)

it better had be bloody barren
shudder
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:13, Reply)

oi

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:13, Reply)

heh

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:13, Reply)

You're a nasty piece of work, Frogsy.
I like you.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:06, Reply)

I have been in the past. I'm fucking lovely now.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:07, Reply)

I was stalked online a few years ago by a hairdresser com Watford I had a One night stand with
She was a mentalist. Found out where I worked etc.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:04, Reply)

She was probably pregnant and wondering when the proposal was going to happen.
I reckon she got off lightly.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:07, Reply)

ironic given your shiny bald bonce

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:08, Reply)

i dont wanna talk about it

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:08, Reply)

Thanks "Chrissie"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:13, Reply)

or "rod"

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:14, Reply)

or 'that ugly bird from EBTG'

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:18, Reply)

I quite literally have no idea what you're on about.
But I'm sure it's very SEXY.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:22, Reply)

Sounds like he deserved that crash.
I have no way of hiding my joy when people fall over.
I even laughed very loudly when a woman let her pushchair plus child go down an escalator :(

I have had a fair few on facebook try and stalk me but a swift block sees to that. Im relatively easy to find on the interwebs.

STAY ABOUT, FROG!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:09, Reply)

*Opens google incognito page.......*

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:13, Reply)

I love watching people injure themselves
A good youtube fail compilation is guaranteed lol action

I'm not sure I've been stalked - I'm far too fucking boring
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:16, Reply)

Look out the window
*waves*
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:17, Reply)

SSSSHHHHHH
He'll see us!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:18, Reply)

Are you in the air conditioning unit or the hedge?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:19, Reply)

Not telling.
And put your cock away.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:21, Reply)

*zips*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:22, Reply)

jackass 3 is a work of comedic genius and the possible the best part 3 of a movie series ever
even better than last crusade or Alien3 and about ona par with Toy Story 3
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:18, Reply)

Jackass is entertaining fooling

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:19, Reply)

'Bad Grandad' looks jokes

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:23, Reply)

nah, stalking sounds like too much effort tangs
i do look at some of the stuff counts put on here and think that they're leaveng emselves wide open there

i doubt ive been savvy enough myself over the years so im probs easy to track too
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:16, Reply)

It was surprisingly easy.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:18, Reply)

oh man, tell me ure not lying tangs
gazz me some evidence and we can be facebook buds!!!
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:18, Reply)

He turned down my friend request :(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:22, Reply)

does it matter if people can track you?
I mean, if they can get hold of bank details, that's a possible issue, but beyond that?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:19, Reply)

I thought this too

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:21, Reply)

am i gettin me knicker sin a twist over nowt here sports?
i guess a lot of you counts have already breached the line between real life and internetters but im not even near the fluffen fence and consider the lot of you counts potential cat rapists and bozz-eyed loons. no offence
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:25, Reply)

I make no bones about it Reg
If I find you I will rape your cat but this doesnt mean we can't be friends
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:26, Reply)

'Taken 3' is where the franchise lost it's edge.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:31, Reply)

ha

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:35, Reply)

i donna wp, i carnt take the chance of walking out the front door in the morning still munching on a warm crossant and theres fluffen mince polishing his hoover snout with a knowing look in his eye

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:21, Reply)

IRL is serious bizznizz on here m8

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:23, Reply)

i really don't understand why.
I've met 4 b3tans and they have all been lovely.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:27, Reply)

I've met loads now.
They've all been cunts. But most of them bought me a drink, so I don't care.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:28, Reply)

tggi^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:29, Reply)

I think it's more to do with employers being able to identify their workshy staff.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:28, Reply)

I took my boss to meet Monty and Lusty

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:29, Reply)

My boss must know that I spend a bit of time dicking about on the internet
But I guess as long as I deliver the work, it's probably ok.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:31, Reply)

this^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:31, Reply)

oh, i see,
well, that might be a problem i guess.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:30, Reply)

I would happily friend any one of you.
and that's not a euphemism.




Probably.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:29, Reply)

Anyone who drives like a prick,
deserves everything they get.

Alt: No, i don't think i've ever been stalked, but surely, if the stalker was any good, I'd never know.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:18, Reply)

how about berk??

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:19, Reply)

Oh globbits!

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:20, Reply)

Does she drive like a prick?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:20, Reply)

berk stalked Pig?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:20, Reply)

If I was going to be stalked by anyone, I reckon Berk would be near the top of my list.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:22, Reply)

I'm not sure it works quite like that

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:23, Reply)

i don't think happening to live in the same city as someone, and drink in a pub they work in counts as stalking.
If it does,then I have been stalking a lot of people for a long time.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:21, Reply)

^ Stalky McStalkerson ^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:21, Reply)

That was pretty much the explanation I gave to little tangle.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:20, Reply)

It's a good life lesson.
Act like a cunt, then don't be surprised when people find it hilarious when your marriage breaks down because of your irrational behaviour and drinking problem.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:21, Reply)

oh Al,
you're such a cunt.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:22, Reply)

you should make sure next time someone nearby drives like a prick,
and little tangles is in the car, you should chase them down and make tangles watch as you beat them.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:22, Reply)

We do this all the time.
Usually I let him deliver the final blow.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:23, Reply)

good man.
Also, how come you didn't stop to check if the guy was ok?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:24, Reply)

It wasn't a serious crash
He just bumped off the wall a bit and carried on driving.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:25, Reply)

ha,
that'll cost him a fair bit.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:27, Reply)

He was unconscious with his foot wedged on the accelarator

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:32, Reply)

We're on the mad month or so at the moment...
...where the students with cars are learning to use the ring road. It's a fucking steep learning curve for some of them.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:24, Reply)

If the people who have lived here all their lives can't manage it then what chance do visitors have?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:26, Reply)

i made a mistake on that ring road and thought i'd got completely lost,
and then took another roundabout and ended up back on the right track. I'm not sure it exists in normal space time.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:31, Reply)

Uhhh, Only through cinematics for the misfortune of others thing.
Been stalked yes, and yes, police were involved.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:30, Reply)

fuckin' hell. Who do you turn to when Sting stalks you?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:31, Reply)

You need Salvation

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:32, Reply)

I did tell him not to stand so close to me...
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:32, Reply)

Was it in New York?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:54, Reply)

I've never been stalked,
Although some internet cunts like to try to annoy. It's well lols.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:32, Reply)

Not really getting off the ground today, are we?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:43, Reply)

Some of us are carrying a bit of water weight, ALRIGHT?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:44, Reply)

I've blamed my bit podge on 'Holiday weight' for 2 years now.
Next year I will shift it.

Honest.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:46, Reply)

I need to go out running again
But haven't had the time, weather or inclination
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:48, Reply)

Between my fucked knees and my zeppelin chest,
running is completely out of the question for me. Swimming would probably be good, but it would involve being seen in public in a swimming costume. Not even that bloke that cut tangles up deserves to see that.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:50, Reply)

Weston SuperBayWatch

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:51, Reply)

Last time I was at the beach
someone tried to refloat me.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:51, Reply)

That's what I want to start doing but even running for the bus induces a Alien- like chest burst

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:51, Reply)

I've turned into a right whale this year.
I really ought to do something about that. It's bad enough being forty, but to be forty and fat too will be traumatic.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:49, Reply)

Flirty, farty, fat and forty.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:50, Reply)

: (

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:51, Reply)

Yeah yeah "water retention"

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:47, Reply)

melon retention

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:49, Reply)

chocolate retention

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:51, Reply)