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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Fucking hell
Come on you lot - its Monday! Stop letting w*rk get in the way of b3ta.

Tell me of your emo youth
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 10:53, 190 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
I didn't have an emo youth, soz.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 10:55, Reply)
Then simply tell me of your non emo youth

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 10:56, Reply)
Me neither.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 10:56, Reply)
Surely as a teenager you did things and acted in ways that make your toes curl?

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 10:59, Reply)
Oh I see.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:09, Reply)
He never tidies up after himself and he smells and is impervious to hints* to fuck off and get his own place
*"Alright, son, isn't it about time you fucked off and got your own place?"
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:00, Reply)
But enough about Monty.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:20, Reply)
Tonight's episode of Monty and 'Bill' is filmed in front of a live studio audience

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:32, Reply)

Monty and 'Bill' My Two Gadds
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:33, Reply)

Monty and 'Bill' Whose Line Is It Anyway?
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:34, Reply)
Didn't have one. So fuck off.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:00, Reply)
tgigi^

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:02, Reply)
Bugger off.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:05, Reply)
Full of the joys of hangovers today, eh?

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:05, Reply)
I am dying. If I don't make it then please tell my daughter I love her.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:07, Reply)
I'll whisper it in her ear

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:08, Reply)
Tactical vomit time?
Lucozade?
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:08, Reply)
Liver transplant?

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:10, Reply)
Kidneys are feeling the punishment at the moment.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:11, Reply)
Ahh
Gallon of water time?
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:13, Reply)
Yes.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:14, Reply)
Hose some Lucozade/sports drink down too

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:14, Reply)
If I had some I would, however I have twisted my ankle so not going anywhere.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:15, Reply)
You mong

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:16, Reply)
I also have burned my right elbow, grazed my left knee and bruised my arse.
I wish he was more gentle.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:20, Reply)
this pleases me
i hope it hurts
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:30, Reply)
Cunt off.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:33, Reply)
How the fuck did you burn your elbow?

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:31, Reply)
Cooking.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:32, Reply)
Ok Armin
Arm In, geddit?!!!111!
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:34, Reply)
My guts are ok, it's the rest of me that is terminally ill.
A bacon & egg sandwich in a while may help ease my pain.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:10, Reply)
I have made a monumental error in bringing soup for lunch

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:12, Reply)
Get a greasy Dominos delivered to your office and flush the soup down the shitter.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:13, Reply)
This does seem like a good idea

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:13, Reply)
Get that one with the sausage piped into the crust if you want to feel like you're going to die.
But in a good way.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:15, Reply)
I'll pipe sausage into your crust in a minute, son

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:16, Reply)
I can think of nothing wurst.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:20, Reply)
something something tadpoles something

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:28, Reply)
Poor SPORTSCOW. Your heart's just not in it today.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:29, Reply)
Sorry man
I'm tired and hungry
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:32, Reply)
I have a bacon & egg sandwich.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:34, Reply)
ima have pizza and soup

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:34, Reply)
I might go back to bed in a bit.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:35, Reply)
ima have anuva bowl o' cereal :)

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:35, Reply)
WHAT CEREAL? THIS IS IMPORTANT

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:38, Reply)
I'm sorry, that's private.
You wouldn't have heard of it anyway.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:41, Reply)
Clusters for me

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:42, Reply)
TELL THE BOARD
i am addicted to kelloggs chocolate granola, but i NEVER let myself buy it.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:46, Reply)
It's a secret.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:51, Reply)
i reckon you've STOLEN my favourite cereal
and the fact that you are having another bowl either indicates that you fucking love it, or that you are a greedy internet fucker, could be either.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:55, Reply)
yhpccuya

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:59, Reply)
what kind of a deviant could eat that?

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:29, Reply)
FAT GREEDY BASTARDS.
So , like you, but a meat eater.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:30, Reply)
HAHAHAHA

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:33, Reply)
hi!

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:33, Reply)
i have no idea why you got dumped and are foreveralone, with charm like that

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:38, Reply)
Oh, don't you?
It's because I'm a cunt.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:38, Reply)
+ ugly

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:39, Reply)
Wrong. I am very handsome. Just a cunt.
I have an abhorrent personality.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:42, Reply)
Making up for it now with an alcohol and drug induced breakdown?

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:40, Reply)
YES.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:42, Reply)
This one time I wanted to go to this party and me and my buds had to take some booze cos itd be rude not to
so we stopped at the licker store and i was underage and nervous as fucken Mince hosting the mobos but i asked the old cunt for a keg of beer and he said no so i got totes emosh and asked again like fucken barry white with teh mad eyes and thats a fucken bingo! KEGGER! WHOO!
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:07, Reply)
I didn't have an emo youth, but I'm rocking into an emo adult life with a series of catastrophes and blooblooing about my terribly hard life.
Not really, I'm a happy chap so fuck off and die.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:10, Reply)
*FOADs*

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:10, Reply)
I meant everyone but you. Hope it's not too late.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:11, Reply)
*zombies*

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:12, Reply)
Just like Jesus.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:12, Reply)
You've hit the nail on the hand there

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:13, Reply)
'what a shit way to spend Easter'

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:14, Reply)
I dunno mind
3 days kip seems good to me
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:15, Reply)
Ha ha

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:15, Reply)
*RAPTUREous Applause*

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:16, Reply)
Collected stamps,
listened to The Goon Show.
Drank Watneys fucken Red Barrel
and joined up when I was 16.
Is there a film in this?
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:12, Reply)
Philately will get you nowhere

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:14, Reply)
LTI.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:14, Reply)
You old bastard.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:14, Reply)
Oi! let's have a little respect here.
It's "Old Cunt" to you.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:15, Reply)
OK "Andy Bell"

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:16, Reply)
\o/
Bear Pookie, you are a star. A cup of tea has sorted me out
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:18, Reply)
i was never a goth/emo type
but the fashion for docs and lumberjack shirts when i was a teenager didn't do us any favours. it's amazing we ever got any blokes at all.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:30, Reply)
The growth of Pizza Hut in the 80's and 90's must have been a godsend to you.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:41, Reply)
She funded it.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:42, Reply)
Rod Hull fisted me as a child.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:38, Reply)
This is emusing

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:42, Reply)
I'm falling off me roof laughing.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:05, Reply)
rorl

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:11, Reply)
haha!

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 13:07, Reply)
I wrote POETRY.
I think that says it all.

Oh, and failed to get laid. Like, ever. In fact, I'm still waiting now.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 11:54, Reply)
My people are never children as you would define them
I've always been this way, and I always will be
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:00, Reply)
I didn't really do much as a teenager.
From what I can recall I mostly used to just sit around in a stoned daze listening to hip-hop and jungle.

Actually... come to think of it in the jungle phase I did start cutting my hair with bare clippers, which made me look quite a bit like gollum.

And once I gave myself a hi-top to challenge Kid 'n Play themselves. That was mainly for my amusement though.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:02, Reply)
so which bit of Aberdeen are you from?

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:14, Reply)
The shit bit, like all Aberdonians.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:15, Reply)
it's no Uxbridge, it's true

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:15, Reply)
Uxbridge is a utopia in comparison.
Unfortunately for me, I'm not from Uxbridge.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:18, Reply)
spent a lot if time in the Deen then?

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:19, Reply)
Been around Scotland enough to know that everywhere that's not the dead centre of Edinburgh is a fucking shithole, yeah.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:23, Reply)
i saw "filth" at the weekend
fucking hell, even edinburgh is hardly uxbridge.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:24, Reply)
it's almost as if every sizeable city has pockets of deprivation or sutin

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:25, Reply)
In England, yeah.
In Scotland, one city has one area that isn't deprived.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:26, Reply)
which is why it's such a good idea for it to be independent
dozer is the last person to support scotland anyway. he fucked off to england as soon as he could!
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:27, Reply)
It's definitely not because he'd be robbed and stabbed two weeks after moving back in to the romantic ideal of Aberdeen.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:29, Reply)
or because he has some wisty misty romantic ideal that is nothing like the shitty reality

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:36, Reply)
yer
Scotland is an urban wasteland from edge to edge.

One shopping street is its sole redeeming feature.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:39, Reply)
Is it? I won't bother going then. Cheers.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:40, Reply)
no probs Doc Frog xx

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:42, Reply)
\o/

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:48, Reply)
Get fucked

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:54, Reply)
MIRROR

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:55, Reply)
CLEAR

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:55, Reply)
Oh no, thankfully the urban areas are easily avoidable.
The countryside is beautiful. You're just better off avoiding the urban areas as they're fucking miserable.

Of course, you'd know, since you love Scottish cities so much that you live in York.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:40, Reply)
It's a long and tedious story as to why I ended up in York.
But it is indeed possible to love other cities while living in a different one. Plus, it's a nice place to live. Fuck all crime, expensive enough houses that the riff raff live well away from me and it's tiny. Culturally backward though and the tourists drive me mental.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:45, Reply)
York's lovely, I can totally understand you wanting to live there.
The sad thing is, I actually want to like Scotland, for my own lame nostalgic misty-eyed reasons. Unfortunately, the cold reality is that it's utterly dismal.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:47, Reply)
the pair of you are utterly dismal
HTH XXX
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:49, Reply)
you inspire nothing but loathing and vomit.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:51, Reply)
there are naff all jobs in York though
And after a month or so the lack of any kind of modern culture will drive you mental.

You'd hate it, I promise.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:50, Reply)
This is true. Princes Street is the only non shitty part of Scotland.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:24, Reply)
That's correct, yes.
It'll be why all you lot are down here, won't it. I don't see you moving back up to Scotland, do I? Why? Because it's a hole.

Basically every city looks like Paisley.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:26, Reply)
they all look like Paisley?
Harsh, man. Harsh.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:27, Reply)
Edinburgh has been ruined by the Australians.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:31, Reply)
I was up there in August for a stag trip
I'd forgotten how deeply shit the Grassmarket is for drinking.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:34, Reply)
I just seen the film "Sunshine On Leith"
It was basically a travel ad with poor singing.
The only thing was missing was the "Visit Scotland" logo.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:38, Reply)
haha!
That kind of sentimental tartan shit makes me sick in my mouth. The Proclaimers are fucking shit.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:40, Reply)
Not actually an Aberdonian.
@Dozer, live near Sunnybank. You?
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:16, Reply)
grew up in Kemnay.
Boarded at Gordon's, so spent a lot of time in the West End. Also spent a lot of time up Cults/ Bieldside way, and Garthdee.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:18, Reply)
I went to a rave in a forest in Garthdee.
It was alright. Cults is nice from what I've seen, my mate had his wedding up there.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:21, Reply)
Garthdee has a forest?
Blimey. I thought it just had the art college, a dry ski slope and an endemic heroin problem.

Cults is extremely nice. Loads of my school friends lived round that way, it's hoachin with oil money.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:23, Reply)

Cults is great.I had my first ever pint in the Cults Hotel. Two and ten pence.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:40, Reply)
I prefer Bieldside.

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:46, Reply)

I often have a pint in the Bieldside Inn.

Used to take acid at Allan Park during the summer.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:51, Reply)
the Bieldside Inn is owned by a guy I know.
He borrowed 750k from his dad to buy it.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:52, Reply)

His Dad can afford it.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:56, Reply)
indeed
I see he's still begging the council to accept that 50 million.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 13:00, Reply)

He's only offering it if the council borrow 80 million and do exactly what he wants. On public land worth millions. Prime green city centre land. He's been after it for years.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 13:07, Reply)
cultural vandalism

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 13:07, Reply)
They've done that up recently.
I had to play darts in the Neptune not so long ago. It's getting added to my mental list of pubs not to go to.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:51, Reply)

Grim.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:57, Reply)
Aye, darts brings me to some interesting dives.
The 524 is a classic as well.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 13:19, Reply)
Soz
Released an upgrade over the weekend and I'm on the support rota this week. :(

Mind, it's mostly figuring out whose code it was that broke stuff and then making THEM fix it, rather than the usual crop of forgotten passwords and "can you run a query for me"
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:42, Reply)
I like telling people their change requests 'are not a priority'
Because it's basically like telling a child their old sick dog has gone to live at their uncles farm.
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 12:55, Reply)
When the truth is you shot it.
(and the dog)
(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 13:04, Reply)
Have you tried switching it off then on again?

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 13:12, Reply)
Of course not....

(, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 13:14, Reply)

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