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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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For fucks sake, internetTell me of your drinking woes. I have rather a large hangover, shamefully caused by a single bottle of red last night and 3 hours sleep
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 10:55,
193 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
I fell down a 12 foot hole, and was rescued by strangers as my 'mates' were laughing too much.I smashed out my front teeth.
I spent the night in hospital concussed and pissed.
I had a fight while standing on a table in a nightclub.
I 'pulled a pig'.
I vomited on the assistant manager's brown leather jacket.
I pissed on a colleague.
I drank and immediately vomited brandy.
I was left for dead by a taxi driver, but not before he stole the money from my pockets.
All in one night out.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 11:06,
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 11:12,
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No, I can't remember the exact order of events, but I know the hospital was last if that helps.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 11:11,
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I'd pretty much concluded that bit...it was just everything else that I couldn't really get into order(, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 11:12, Reply)
Okay, probably this:Fall in hole, 'Pig', fight, brandy, jacket, piss, teeth, taxi, hospital.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 11:14,
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Cool. So you didn't smash your teeth falling down the hole or in the fight?Nice work.
(, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 11:17, Reply)
Nah, that was falling over getting out the taxi to vomit. (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 11:17,
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\o/I have a proud and glorious drinking past.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 11:18,
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this weekend was the worst of alldinner party on fri night. we had:
fancy gin and tonics
pink champagne
sancerre
chateau neuf du pape
chocolate raspberry dipped or pink vodka
AND I COULDN'T DRINK ANY OF IT :(
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 11:09,
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If it's any consolation I had a horrid tooth abscess at New Year one year, and went to a party where there was more booze and recreational drugs flying about than a Happy Mondays' aftershow party. I was on some very grown-up anti-biotics and stuff for said tooth, and thus couldn't take anything else.
It was bloody awful.
Mrs V did an E and spent the whole night and the journey back gurning away and chattering happily, while I sipped a bloody diet coke and tried my best not to completely ruin it for everyone.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 11:18,
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i went out on my own last night, sat at the bar in a pub in town i used to work in, sat chatting with all the old regulars, fell off my bar stool about 12.30.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 4 Nov 2013, 11:11,
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ended up in london, breaking and entering at about 2.30...(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 11:14,
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went up to Birmingham this weekendHad several pints, A bottle of wine, couple more pints, back to my brothers for more wine and some more herbal relaxant.
A cracking evening, we played Cards Against Humanity and revealed once more we're all sick bastards who are going to Hell.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 11:14,
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Card played: "In Disney's new Lifetime move, Hannah Montana struggles with _________ for the first time"And the answers to choose from were
Date Rape
Mouth Herpes
AIDS
A robust mongoloid
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 11:17,
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i have just ordered a box of these for my weekend away this weekend(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 11:31,
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make sure you get the UK editionLess "who the fuck is that"
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 11:53,
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i did indeedand the new bridget jones. had to pay extra to have them delivered tomorrow, because I am impatient. if waterstones hadn't fucking closed down, this would never have happened.
#save the fucking high street
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 11:55,
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Amazon Prime for the win(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 12:01,
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Innit.If it's not food or booze, there's no point in having a shop for it. Vive la revolution.
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Kroney, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 12:02,
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yeah yeahthat's JUST the same as the tangible pleasure of wandering around a bookshop for an hour, getting lost in pages and finding new authors and new worlds that you never knew existed. only illiterate plebs would think otherwise.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 12:03,
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he might need to wear a wigbut that does not make him a judge
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 12:08,
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Grey hair yes, bald no.Well, not yet. It will probably happen sooner or later.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 12:13,
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you don't have to be bald to need a wigjust have really shit hair
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 12:14,
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Shared two exceptional bottles of red with og yesterday.Then didn't sleep very well because of bad dreams. Seriously, at 33 I shouldn't be still having nightmares. Stupid brain, sort yourself out.
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Kroney, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 11:59,
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On the other hand, I spent all morning on my back under some dude's desk, so win some/lose some(
Kroney, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 12:01,
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I dreamt I was on a pirate ship, but then I did drink some Seafarers.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 12:05,
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I had nightmares last nightZombie nightmares too, and I was shooting them in the head and people were getting killed all around me and you know what, it was fucking cool. I was disappointed when I awoke and it wasn't true.
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Peej, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 12:16,
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I had a zombie dream, too.Sounds like you were owning yours in a way that I really wasn't, though.
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Kroney, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 12:17,
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very suitable for children
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 12:00,
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I don't have any because I can handle my ale and I'm not a massive gay.(
Peej, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 12:17,
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Quite the opposite of a drinking woe, I'm having a banana milkshake in 60 minutes. And yes, I did have one yesterday too.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 12:30,
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Oh manI want a milkshake now
On the other hand, I've just had a fish finger sandwich with 6 fish fingers in it
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 12:32,
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In which case I approve, and now also would like a fish finger sandwich.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 12:34,
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I'm a latecomer to the world of fish finger sarniesI'm making up for lost time
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 12:35,
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How did you fit six in? I find four covers standard slice size comfortably.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 12:37,
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4 normal, then one on each pairCut in half, job done
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 12:39,
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Pyramid style? Nice.I have sometimes though of going 'end on', I think that could be an 'eighter', but it's too dangerous and I don't got the stones.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 12:41,
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I was going for 8 but I only had 6 left:o(
NEXT TIME....
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 12:43,
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"End on" gave me a bizarre mental image until I realised you meant "side on"And not like some Bread Acropolis with columns made of fishfingers.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 12:48,
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NO I MEANT END ON! IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES MAN!(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 12:50,
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fuck that nasty ketchup shitetartare sauce is where it's at
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 12:37,
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what?tartare sauce is DELICIOUS.
esp the one at langans, where they put jalapenos in it...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 12:45,
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I've always assumed it tastes like semenand the lovers and haters here are not disproving my theory.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 12:49,
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It's a polite click from me for making an excellent point. (BatteredTM 2013)
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:02,
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Try fish fingers and sausages.It's like a povvo surf 'n turf.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:05,
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When people are eating bags of crispsand tip them from the bag into their mouths, it disgusts me beyond measure.
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Kroney, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:27,
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I knew a man who would split open the bag after performing this procedure, to lick the remaining salt and 'flavour' from the corner where it all gathers.He was, and still is, a disgusting fat oaf.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:30,
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When I said 'man' I was talking about you.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:35,
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You probably don't have normal crisps. Probably them ones made of pasta with hummus or some other such whimsy.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:42,
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i buy such things from whole foodssometimes they are made of pasta. other times different grains.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:49,
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Oh it's where we normal people go to buy food as there isn't much left after paying the bills and the mortgage as our parents don't buy us everything.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:54,
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If only my mum worked harder! If only my dad loved me! Bloobloobloo!(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 14:01,
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I had some sweet and salt popcorn the other day, it was so nommy I was tempted.I was in company though so I didn't Troo story!
(, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:39, Reply)
I though it was sweet OR salt?!?!? KER-A-ZEE(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:44,
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It's rock 'n' roll in the snack department mate.How's you anyway, you toad faced fucker?
(, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:46, Reply)
I am in excellent health thanks, you double denim shithouse."I just don't *do* ill. "
Christ I hate cunts who say that.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:49,
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Are you saying I'm not mentally ill? Thanks!(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:50,
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Well I shall ignore your diagnosis thanks doc swipe, since you shove pills down your chubby face and they make you ill.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:55,
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you'll be sorrywhen your freebie crim defence team is trying pathetically to rely on mental disease as a defence
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 14:00,
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I haven't been involved in the criminal world for years, and have got away with every dodgy dealing I've ever done thanks.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 14:02,
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Afternoon internets.Drinking by yourself is a slippery slope Mr Cow.
*makes drinky hand motion*
I is full of the cold, am self medicating on hot water, lemon juice, honey and a dash of medicinal scotch. Colds are shite, especially when it's nice and sunny outside.
What's everyone's weekend been like, or is it too late to ask that?
(, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:34, Reply)
considering it's "just" a coldit is surprising how fucking rotten they can make you feel. esp as you feel bad before the symptoms - once you've started sneezing and coughing, you usually feel a lot better. evil little bastards.
on the other hand, manflu.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:35,
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Manflu vs. women with hangovers.Which is the more pathetic?
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:38,
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... is the WRONG answer, I'm afraid.Oh swipey - and here's what you could have won:
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:43,
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You're understandably disappointed. Try turning to drink.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:57,
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i've tried that many timesbut i'm just not very good at being an alcoholic
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:59,
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You're not trying hard enough.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 14:06,
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Just a shit cold I'm afraid.I'm in the headache/snot/sneeze aprt of it now, should have sweated the cunt out in a few days. Chili for tea then :)
(, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:44, Reply)
I had a banana milkshake so mine was pretty ace, as you can imagine.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:36,
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I bought chocolate milkshakeAll is now OK with the world
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:56,
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The pleb I was with yesterday had a chocolate and banana one.Yeah, in one glass! I know! Disgusting.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:57,
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hmmmThat could actually work
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 14:01,
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I tried a bit, it was rank. It was either a shit banana one, or a shit chocolate one. No good can come of this.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 14:03,
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i think it would work brilliantlyI think he is a rank mouthed pleb
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 14:14,
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This does not surprise me, you greedy bastard.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 14:16,
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just because you have plebby tastebuds that can't cope with a sophisticated combination of more than one flavour at once(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 14:16,
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Only dopey birds insist on putting chocolate with everything.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 14:17,
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WHAT IS THERE IN LIFE THAT CHOCOLATE CANNOT IMPROVE?(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 14:24,
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CRISPS DESPITE SOME OTHER PEOPLES STRANGE ASSERTIONS (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 14:28,
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Colds are shite. They don't serve any biological purpose - they're like wasps.They just turn up, make you feel a bit shit, and then fuck off again. It's not like they kill anyone or anything.
Also - people who say "I've got/had 'flu" when they've got/had a cold are REALLY fucking annoying - 'flu puts you on your back for a week. A cold is just an annoyance.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:37,
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^ this ^there is no such thing as "a touch of flu"
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:41,
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People who have time off work for a cold are pathetic wimps who will not survive the cull once I'm in charge.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:43,
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Colds are only annoyances because we're highly resistant to them.Europeans gave colds to native Americans and caused an epidemic, which killed scores of them. Boring fact bomb, there.
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Kroney, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:42,
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Also alcohol summat summat.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 13:46,
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Im normally reasonably behaved on alcohol.Even in my pills and booze hedonistic days there were never any broken limbs or anything.
I did have tremendous sick after a night out which melted the plastic on my rug.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 14:30,
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Also,where the frig is everyone?
It's deader than corderoy flares in here.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 14:30,
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I bet he thinks this thread is about him.(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 14:39,
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It is. I have to post loads now no one's here.Just cos everyone else has got better things to do all of a sudden, doesn't mean I do!
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 14:40,
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*havebloody americans, coming over here with your 'yes, I do got one of those'
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 14:45,
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I did, but I don't understand your point. Unlike EVERY OTHER FUCKER here, I don't claim to know everything.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 14:55,
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Everyone else have better things to do?Is that your suggestion?
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 15:02,
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Oh hello there.Alright?
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 15:06,
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Sorry chapsI'm looking after my daughter at home and working at the same time
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 15:19,
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