My flatmate has started paying back the money she owes me.
With a fistful of fifties. Regardless of anything else, the girl's got style. I am attempting to suppress the urge to go out and spend it all, as it'll cover the utility bill I got through the door the other day. Even so, I might go to the corner shop, just so that I can buy a can of pop with a big pink fiddy and then say "no" when asked if I have anything smaller.

Like a baws.
( Kroney, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 10:44, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

haha!
Watch them scrutinise it then turn you down
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 10:46, Reply)

Nobody prints fake fifties, it's a myth.
It's pound coins you've got to watch out for. Millions of fakes in circulation.
( Kroney, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 10:48, Reply)

Make sure you start on the can of pop before you get the £50 out.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 10:50, Reply)

I got a few last week in some change
They worked in our vendies machine
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 10:50, Reply)

Liar
You can't get change in the form of a £50 note and vending machines don't take them!
( Peej, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 10:55, Reply)

Typical paki prick

( Kroney, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 10:56, Reply)

lols all round chaps

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 10:57, Reply)

I like buying a round in the local at home with a £50 so everyone knows I'm a big player in that London with me 'career' and all me nice coats too.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 10:57, Reply)

And your silver 1998 diesel Astra.

( Kroney, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:12, Reply)

1.6 litres of petrol driven sex on wheels. From 2001.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:13, Reply)

Sozzles, didn't realise you were in the Big Leagues.

( Kroney, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:15, Reply)

I hope to upgrade to an even older car one day.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:17, Reply)

You should mate, it'll make you friends.

( Kroney, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:20, Reply)

I have seen the kudos you have attained and wish for a similar level myself.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:22, Reply)

I love my car.

( Kroney, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:24, Reply)

I love your car. I'm a mechaphile and I'm going to have a wank over the spotlights.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:26, Reply)

Top ten Transformers

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:42, Reply)

Hang on to it.
In 2 years, problem solved.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:21, Reply)

It's getting 'classic-er' by the day

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:24, Reply)

what you need is a clapped out mark 2 golf
then people will know you have arrived
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:22, Reply)

I had one. I miss it. I liked the old school switch for the lights.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:23, Reply)

except that you won't ever arrive
"sorry, i'm still stranded on the side of the m25..."
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:24, Reply)

Like they can move quickly enough to join a motorway

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:25, Reply)

sadly, this never stops them
they bimble along on motorways and A roads with the real cars and then break down and hold us all up.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:25, Reply)

* does smug fellow Merc driver nod*

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:26, Reply)

Mercs were phenomenal cars in the late Eighties.

( Kroney, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:29, Reply)

I would like a 190 cosworth if I am honest

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:31, Reply)

Is it true you had to have extra heaters installed in the seats as the standard ones weren't enough to heat even one cheek of your huge fat arse?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:28, Reply)

do you know what an slk looks like?
you can't get in those bucket seats if you're packing ass
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:29, Reply)

Yes I have seen yours.
When you're driving there are three 'buckets' in the car.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:29, Reply)

Driver, passenger, cum

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:31, Reply)

^tggi^

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:32, Reply)

alt: yeah, because they'll hear you coming from 3 streets away in the nasty noisy thing

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:24, Reply)

has she been stripping?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 10:51, Reply)

You know, oddly enough, she was pressured to start doing that by her stripper flatmates last year.
She didn't do it then, so I have no reason to suspect she'd start now. Apparently she just took out a wedge of fifties. I've never done that, I've always got twenties from the hole-in-the-wall.
( Kroney, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 10:53, Reply)

Only time I've ever had 50s is when I have taken more than a grand out of the bank

( Peej, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 10:56, Reply)

I've never had a £50 note

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 10:57, Reply)

Povvo
I'm Cornish and I've had loads
( Peej, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:01, Reply)

Just never happened to have one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:03, Reply)

they dont ship them up to the North East
it would collapse the housing market
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:14, Reply)

This is true

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:18, Reply)

Moaty would make a tent out of them

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:22, Reply)

You're getting confused again.
Pasties are the things you put in your mouth, £50 notes are the things you've never seen.
/Harsh Thursday
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:36, Reply)

Due to me being very shit at banks
During my time at Uni I used to be able to get my loan and grant cheques made to cash by the burser. I would always ask for it in 50's then go and pay my landlord...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:14, Reply)

I bought bugle with fifties once, then realised we had nowt to toot it with and had to borrow a nore.
Suitably ashamed.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:03, Reply)

NEEDS MOAR ACCORD

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:07, Reply)

It was only an 1/8 oz which was 3 fifties still embarrassing.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:12, Reply)

£150 for 3.5g?
That's a bit lumpy. £10 a gram in London.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:16, Reply)

apparently

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:19, Reply)

So I've heard.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:20, Reply)

Not to be sniffed at, prices like that

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:20, Reply)

Back in the day about 60 a gram. Yrah it' s cheaper now as are all class As, the first ecstasy I ever bought, 1989
was 25 fucking quid! Doves, if anyone remembers them.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:24, Reply)

remember them well.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:28, Reply)

when my dad flogged the house in spain, a big chunk of it was cash
he had a load of 500 euro notes. known locally as "bin ladens" because everybody'd heard of them, but nobody'd ever seen one.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:16, Reply)

"sold" the "house"
He was whoring out his little pink sixpence and you know it!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:17, Reply)

why must you judge everyone by your own standards?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:23, Reply)

It's not my fault he is a manwhore.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:28, Reply)

Bloke who bought my MG off me 4 years ago
paid in cash, in Clydesdale bank fifties.

I swear, they don't look real. And they are green. I was fucking shitting it until I got to a bank that they were fake.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:17, Reply)

Never accept jock money.
It's a bastard to get rid of. No one wants it.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:19, Reply)

McPounds
Worst of all the pounds
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:20, Reply)

All the oil they fry it in leaves a horrible gunky residue in your wallet an' all.

( Kroney, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:21, Reply)

And you can't spend them before 10:30

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:22, Reply)

They come covered in Soss.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:23, Reply)

Just like YM

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:23, Reply)

I gave a jock fiver to charity cos I couldn't get rid of the fucking thing.
And I HATE giving to charity.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:20, Reply)

That's funny because I hate Jocks.
And the Irish.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:22, Reply)

+ Chinese.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:25, Reply)

And the Indians.
and the fucking Polish.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:30, Reply)

And Somalians.
Fucking fiveheads.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:31, Reply)

Or "pseudo blacks" as I like to call them.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:35, Reply)

Yeah, but I live in Jockland
it makes it somewhat harder to refuse, what with that being what the banks give you.

Plus, the thought of wandering around with that many thousands of pounds in cold hard cash gave me a full DC, obvs.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:22, Reply)

Holy wallet strain!

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:51, Reply)

dont they also print a proper shoddy looking £100 note

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:24, Reply)

ah so she is turning tricks then

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:14, Reply)

As long as she don't invite clients up to the gaff I'm cool.

( Kroney, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:17, Reply)

what if she decides to slip you a roofie and sell you as well

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:27, Reply)

she wouldn't get 5 francs.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:29, Reply)

Stunned's right, I'm ruined.

( Kroney, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 11:30, Reply)

Wallpaper? Fucking decorators.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 10:54, Reply)