What are you like at dancing?
Ok, mega, shit or need 10 pints/a few grams to get on the dance floor?
Alt, most pointless animal? Pandas, they annoy the fuck out of me.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:37, 190 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Unable to dance sober
OK once pissed. 1st dance at a wedding is fucking excruciating

Alt:
Pandas are shit. Sloth?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:39, Reply)

Dunno, sloths hang upside down and sleep.
I'd like to do that.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:42, Reply)

They mock me with their sleeping
WHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? YOU GOT TO GO THERE?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:43, Reply)

That's the worst thing about being married twice
two first dances. FFS.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:43, Reply)

ouch

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:43, Reply)

I thought you don't have to bother with all the pomp and circumstance second time around?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:45, Reply)

That rather depends on whether the person you are marrying second time around
has been married before or not.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:49, Reply)

I don't dance.
I'm someone's dad, it ain't right.
Alt: What point are you looking for precisely?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:43, Reply)

OK "Genesis"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:43, Reply)

I didn't say I can't, I said I don't.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:45, Reply)

No point at all.
I couldn't think of an alt, then remembered a convo I had in the juicer once, about how crap pandas were.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:45, Reply)

I like dancing, and couldn't give a fuck what other people think of how I dance, unless they think "I'd like to have sex with him, because of how he dances."
Alt: fucking wasps. Wankers.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:46, Reply)

Have many men thought that after seeing you dance?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:49, Reply)

\o

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:50, Reply)

All of them.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:06, Reply)

I dance quite well I've been told, but I only do it pissed.
Alt: hedgehog
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:47, Reply)

I'm the best dancer in my house. I'm even better when pissed.
Alt: Courier drivers are fucking useless pointless animals.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:51, Reply)

are you the only person in your house?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:52, Reply)

That is irrelevant.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:52, Reply)

You are the worst dancer in your house.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:53, Reply)

Thats mean

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:54, Reply)

No. There is no worst, because unlike you I'm all positive and shit and see only the good in stuff or something proper zen like that.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:54, Reply)

And they say that antidepressants don't cloud your judgement.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:56, Reply)

I wouldn't know. Do they say that? I'm pretty sure they don't say that.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:57, Reply)

I don't even know who they are.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:58, Reply)

THEY ARE WATCHING

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:58, Reply)

You really should stop listening to them.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:58, Reply)

Having said that, it's probably more pleasurable than listening to your 'music'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:59, Reply)

My music isn't about pleasure
It's about art and death and doing sex on girls
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:02, Reply)

Is it? I can't wait to hear it.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:04, Reply)

Pandas should be held up to vegetarians
as an absolute example of just how badly shit can do if you choose to forgoe meat whilst being biologically omniverous.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:51, Reply)

Come on now, man of science, you know that correlation does not equate to causation.
They could still be shit if they ate meat.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:52, Reply)

I gave a burger to a panda once, and it was much cooler afterwards.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:53, Reply)

I wanna know something from Mr. Panda Bear here.
If you pandas are from mountainous areas of China and Tibet, how come you only eat bamboo which is prone to grow in dryer, more arid regions?
( Peej, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:58, Reply)

because pandas are cunts.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:58, Reply)

Can't even be bothered to fuck
I'm pretty lazy, but I can still find the energy to fuck when I get the opportunity. (Which means I fuck about twice as much as the average panda)
( Peej, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:01, Reply)

Bamboo grows in your wife's vagina?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:00, Reply)

I have no idea, its been a long time since I've been there.

( Peej, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:01, Reply)

eats, shoots and leaves.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:13, Reply)

Because Bamboo is a generic term for around 5000 different species of plant
So they happen to eat a type that grows well in cooler damper environs...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:33, Reply)

r g
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:59, Reply)

Shhhh.
Stop using science to defend the indefensible, tangles. LOVELY LOVELY MEAT.

My freezer right at this minute is half-filled with bits of two lovely pigs called Austin and Squealy.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:57, Reply)

how can you not feel even a little bit bad about this??

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:08, Reply)

Why would I possibly feel bad?
Lovely lovely tasty pig.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:08, Reply)

THEY HAD NAMES AND EVERYTHING
NOW THEY'RE DEAD JUST SO THAT YOU CAN STUFF YOUR FACE.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:09, Reply)

WITH THEIR CORPSES.

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:09, Reply)

spot on.
They probably had personalities, too. Maybe hopes and dreams.

Still tasty.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:10, Reply)

you're the animal

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:17, Reply)

we're all animals, Swipe.
Domain Eukarya, Kingdom Animalia.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:28, Reply)

they did
They dreamt of becoming tasty chops and sausages... DONT LET THEM DOWN BADGE
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:34, Reply)

Throw a dead body into a pig pen and they won't care that person had a name.
Eating pigs is really just a form of self-defence. You obviously want to be murdered by pigs.
( Kroney, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:11, Reply)

that made me proper lol.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:12, Reply)

And don't tell me that cows aren't planning murder with those crazy, rolly eyes.
Fucking chickens are descended from velociraptors. I'm pretty sure vegetarians are Nature's attempt to trim down our numbers. If we're so keen on helping the environment, they should be all rounded up and shot.
( Kroney, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:14, Reply)

We got attacked by a cow once.
It's surprisingly terrifying.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:15, Reply)

We got cornered by a fucking bull-calf once.
It was only a third of the size of a grown bovine and it could still easily break my bones. Plus his dad was hanging around keeping an eye on things, he'd have piled on if I attempted to beat up his kid.

They're just looking for an excuse to redress the balance. I, for one, am determined to eat more and more of them to keep people safe.
( Kroney, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:17, Reply)

Bulls usually couldn't give enough of a shit to attack you, as long as they have a field full of sexy cows to service.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:19, Reply)

This thing wanted to rumble.
Don't get me wrong, I've no problem with punching a juvenile of any species, but his dad would've ruined me.
( Kroney, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:21, Reply)

A kind of bovine Battered then

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:24, Reply)

Like Ian Tomlinson
Right, kids?!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:14, Reply)

Kroney is likely to be on Harwood's side.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:16, Reply)

Stout fellow.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:19, Reply)

yeah, a DEAD BODY
badger had two innocent animals slaughtered for his own lustful pleasures of the flesh
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:18, Reply)

Good for him, keeping those murderous bastards in check.

( Kroney, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:20, Reply)

Are you a vegetarian then, Swipe?
Meat is great - you should have some.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:21, Reply)

OmnivOrous.
YES!
( Peej, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:56, Reply)

What a hockey prick

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:57, Reply)

puck

( Peej, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:58, Reply)

I'm pretty sure it's not a capital o in the middle of the word, PJ.
if you're going to fuck me with pedantry you might at least get it right.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 14:58, Reply)

I'm sorry, I thought I'd accentuate it so you wouldn't miss it.
You know? Like you did the first time around.
( Peej, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:00, Reply)

Imma gonna be honest, here.
I'm at best ambivalent about this sort of thing.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:01, Reply)

everyone I know says I am a good dancer
but I need to have a few to get onto the dancefloor
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:01, Reply)

Alright HH.
How's it hanging?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:06, Reply)

Hello new-old poster
Are you here to save us from inevitable death, or are you just going to post this and never post again?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:09, Reply)

Pandas are the poster children for evolutionary dead-ends. Let the cunts die out, it's all they're good for.
It's typical human behaviour that we choose the one animal that nature's actually trying to kill to use as our "save the animals" icon. Human beings = pricks.
( Kroney, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:02, Reply)

i am a terrible dancer
self-consciousness makes it worse.

alt: daddy long legs. I hate them and they are pointless.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:08, Reply)

Beer removes this fear

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:11, Reply)

Nothing like throwing some ten-pint shapes.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:12, Reply)

I dunno mate, daddy long legs don't scare me when I'm sober.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:13, Reply)

because i am a bit of a restless sleeper and allegedly a duvet thief
I got the double room in the cottage ALL TO MYSELF over the weekend. early in the morning after many voddies and no sleep, I was awoken by what sounded like someone typing.

no, wait. birdies! countryside! ahhhh. and relax.

NO, WAIT AGAIN........ those aren't birds. they are fucking moth wings. moths! moths inside my room!

I had to get my friend up and out of bed to rescue me. it turned out to be a fucking big butterfly that was flapping around between the window and the curtain. meh, they still have fucking manky big bodies and feelers.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:17, Reply)

You and Kroney are a pair of right sissy ninnys.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:19, Reply)

Stick insects too.
Whole bunch of wrong.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:12, Reply)

i read somewhere that daddy long legs have really toxic venom
but no means of biting any predator to poison them with it. THAT is an animal that has failed to evolve.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:19, Reply)

If you are talking about the flying ones, that is bollocks. There is a 'proper' spider called daddy long legs too, of which this 'myth' is true.
It most people believe it of the flying bastards.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:22, Reply)

Bollocks

( Peej, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:23, Reply)

Ace.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:24, Reply)

Source?

( Peej, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:26, Reply)

Ketchup with fish and chips.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:27, Reply)

Some fat northern ginger cock gobbler told me they put gravy on chips up there
Fucking wierdos
( Peej, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:28, Reply)

Gravy and chips sounds like a povvo meal.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:30, Reply)

All northerners are povvos with illusions of grandeur

( Peej, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:31, Reply)

My flat mate favours chips, gravy AND curry sauce, if you can fucking imagine that.

( Kroney, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:33, Reply)

They probably believe that the addition of gravy is haute cuisine. That can't pronounce it though.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:33, Reply)

Lunch the other day was 3 scallops, gravy, barm cake and bag of prawn crackers.
All good.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:33, Reply)

Is a barm cake *just* a roll?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:35, Reply)

I'm not even sure what language that was in

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:36, Reply)

Scallop is battered and deep fried potato.
Barm cake is a large round roll.
Gravy drips from YM.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:38, Reply)

No, generally it's in glands in their mouths.

( Kroney, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:25, Reply)

TL:DR - It's not true
There is an urban legend stating that daddy long-legs spiders have the most potent venom of any spider, but that their chelicerae (fangs) are either too small or too weak to puncture human skin; the same legend is also repeated of the harvestman and crane fly, also called "daddy long-legs" in some locales. Indeed, pholcid spiders do have a short fang structure (called uncate). However, brown recluse spiders also have uncate fang structure, but are able to deliver medically significant bites. Either pholcid venom is not toxic to humans or there is a musculature difference between the two arachnids, with recluses, being hunting spiders, possessing stronger muscles for fang penetration.[5]
In 2004, the Discovery Channel show MythBusters set out to test the daddy long-legs myth episode 13 - "Buried in concrete".[6] Hosts Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage first established that the spider's venom was not as toxic as other venoms, after being told about an experiment whereby mice were injected with venom from both a daddy long-legs and a black widow, with the black widow venom producing a much stronger reaction. After measuring the spider's fangs at approximately 0.25 mm (average human skin thickness varies from about 0.5mm to 4mm), Adam Savage allowed himself to be bitten, and reported that the bite produced little more than a mild short-lived burning sensation. This appears to confirm that, contrary to popular belief, pholcid bites can penetrate human skin but will deliver a harmless envenomation. Additionally, recent research by Alan Van Dyke has shown that pholcid venom is relatively weak in its effects on insects as well.[7]
According to Rick Vetter of the University of California at Riverside, the daddy long-legs spider has never harmed a human and there is no evidence that they are dangerous to humans.[8]
The urban legend ostensibly stems from the fact that the daddy long-legs spider is known to prey upon deadly venomous spiders, such as the redback, a member of the black widow genus Latrodectus.[9] By extrapolation, it was thought that if the daddy long-legs spider could regularly kill a spider capable of delivering fatal bites to humans, then it must be more venomous, and the uncate fangs were accused of prohibiting it from killing people.[10] In reality, it is merely quicker than the redback.
( Peej, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:26, Reply)

TL:DR
I'm going to assume this post backs up the Daddy Long Legs are deadly but stumpy toothed assertion.
( Kroney, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:28, Reply)

Feel free to assume that incorrect assumption
I was just trying to point out the stupidity of Swipey and Frog.
( Peej, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:29, Reply)

Does that really need to be pointed out?
Seems redundant.
( Kroney, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:30, Reply)

I'm just bitter

( Peej, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:30, Reply)

My point was that the flying ones aren't poisonous, the spider ones are, not the most poisonous or whaterever but zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:31, Reply)

Yeh and my point was that's bollocks as well.

( Peej, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:32, Reply)

You're just bitter.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:33, Reply)

Very

( Peej, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:36, Reply)

Pint of Marsdens please.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:36, Reply)

If that was true then surely eating them would be bad

( Peej, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:22, Reply)

Thats the difference between
Venomous and Poisonous, if they were venomous and you ate the venom you wouldn't be affected, as it would be broken down by your stomach acids, venom needs to be injected to work
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:41, Reply)

Hahaha, I just found this gem of information on wikipedia, which could go part way to explaining your aversion
The larvae of crane flies are known commonly as leatherjackets
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:23, Reply)

yeah
I once walked through a field with bloody millions of the baby bastards in it. urrrrrrrgh, my ankles are itching just thinking about it.

but i'd rather roll in there in the nak than look at rory's link. I ent clicking that in a month of sundays.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:39, Reply)

never trust a man that can dance
As they are either gay or blcak
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:48, Reply)

And on that note, I'm off.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:49, Reply)

COME BACK!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:58, Reply)

happy birthday fanta pants
I very much enjoyed not having a birthday lunch with you
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 15:59, Reply)

HELLO LOVELY APE
gracias! me too. I had a brown rice salad and the team bought me cola pretzel honeycomb dairy milk!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 16:00, Reply)

brown rice salad, fuck me what a way to celebrate

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 16:01, Reply)

fish and chips and pink champagne in richmond tonight, innit

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 16:03, Reply)

STOP STALKING ME!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 16:08, Reply)

Hiya!!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 16:09, Reply)

MY FRIEND LIVES IN RICHMOND!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 16:32, Reply)

ooh, I see two people now

(how long does it take to delete an account anyway? Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail F, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 16:08, Reply)

Is this you again Frogface?
Describe your train please.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 16:15, Reply)

*pokes with a stick*
are you real?
(how long does it take to delete an account anyway? Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail F, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 16:36, Reply)

i am the bestest and sexiest dancer EVER
FACT


alt: flies
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 16:48, Reply)