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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

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Fuck that Stibbings cunt.
More media scaremongering about the weather today.
Are you a typical British weather boohoo or do you just add layers, man up and get on with it?

alt. Anything exciting coming up in your week?

altalt. If you had to swap lives with a B3tan for a day who would you pick and why?
I'd say either Windy or Sporters. Windy as we both have a knowledge of pubs. Sporters cos he is from my neck of the woods.

Or maybe Dozer so I can see what it is like to be truly amazing.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 13:33, 208 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
it's fucking freezing in my office today
I am tempted to get the bloke to come over and just stand behind me all day, he's like a human hot water bottle.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 13:35, Reply)
You obviously need something hot inside you

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 13:49, Reply)
What bloke?
Let's face it, there's a list...
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 13:50, Reply)
it's a woefully short list really

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 13:54, Reply)
\o/
as long as I dont get bummed

Alt:
Department xmas night out on Thursday

AltAlt:
I'd be Rory for the day
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 13:36, Reply)
Ours is the Saturday before Christmas after we have broken up.
Plenty of time to get over any embarrassment that occurs.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 13:39, Reply)
The full office one is the 18th

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 13:44, Reply)
STRIKETHROUGH dont END STRIKETHROUGH
LULZ
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 13:53, Reply)
*crosses fingers*

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 13:57, Reply)
Everyone's gone again :(

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 13:50, Reply)
I'm still here but fading fast
I feel like shit....
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 13:52, Reply)
Soz pal, I'm stuffing my face with pastrami and crisps.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 13:54, Reply)
THAT DOESN'T SOUND VERY HEALTHY

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 13:55, Reply)
Vegetable crisps, whole meal roll (1) four slices of meat each slice containing 1% of daily calories and salt, less than 1% of fat saturates and sugars.
HEALTHY
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 13:57, Reply)
Right turn, Swipe.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 13:58, Reply)
it sounds like carbs and processed meat junk to me
hopeless

www.shape.com/healthy-eating/diet-tips/50-seemingly-healthy-foods-are-bad-you/slide/30
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:02, Reply)
I HAVE A HEALTHY AND BALANCED DIET

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:03, Reply)
what, one glump of processed salt and fat in each hand?

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:07, Reply)
You should be more concerned about whatever it is you eat that gives you an enormous gelatinous arse.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:09, Reply)
10 year old boy's arse, ACTUALLY

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:10, Reply)
We both know it's not *that* good.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:12, Reply)
paedo homo paedo

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:12, Reply)
Sorry I didn't do Latin

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:23, Reply)
You missed the excellent joke.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:04, Reply)
WHAT WAS IT??

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:07, Reply)
Right turn, Clyde was what Clint Eastwood
used to say to his orangutan in Every which way but loose. As referred to earlier by Rory.

Never mind.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:09, Reply)
i've never seen it
but I do dispute the "excellent joke"...
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:10, Reply)
Also, mind your own business.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 13:58, Reply)
as if

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:02, Reply)
Sounds good though

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 13:57, Reply)
I'm going off to on hols on thursday 'till monday, really looking forward to it.
I don't care if the weather is gonna be crap, i'm gonna really chill out and enjoy it anyway.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 13:53, Reply)
Where are you going?

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 13:57, Reply)
Brighton !

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:00, Reply)
Nice.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:04, Reply)
No, Brighton

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:05, Reply)
Constantinople.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:05, Reply)
What a load of istanbul

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:07, Reply)
Totally, I love it there.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:07, Reply)
Easy.
You'll get a reputation.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:10, Reply)
I was in Brighton a few years ago and went for a run along the seafront
I was confronted by a man sitting on a bench brandishing what can only be described as a foot of drainpipe at me
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:14, Reply)
a _fabulous_ reputation.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:15, Reply)
Only been there once but did enjoy!
Weather will be a bit icy I'd imagine
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:09, Reply)
I reckon so, just taken a gander and it looks like low chance of rain but a bit cold.
I don't mind a bit of that, I have a nice hoodie.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:17, Reply)
Man up. The boohooing about the weather in this country is pathetic.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 13:55, Reply)
It iz mild here and not raining.
\0/
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:00, Reply)
I like the people who build on and buy houses on flood plains, then complain when they get flooded.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:06, Reply)
I don't get it when americans who live in tornado allies build their houses out of wood.
They always get smashed to smithereens and the brick'n'morter ones seem to survive with only superfichal damnage.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:08, Reply)
Oh god this.
I don't get American houses at all - they're basically sheds.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:11, Reply)
Didn't they get told the tale of the three little pigs?

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:13, Reply)
Nobody has answered my altalt.
I want this to descend into jealousy, bitterness and betrayal from someone other than Swipe and whichever potential suitor she is having a go at today.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:20, Reply)
apart from Sporters

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:20, Reply)
I always read the question

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:26, Reply)
I'd pick any of the tall ones to see what it's like to pretend to be superior but actually look like a ridiculous streak of piss on stilts.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:21, Reply)
Homunculus.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:25, Reply)
Fiveheaded ogre

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:25, Reply)
I can't believe people measure superiority on height?
Unless you're and actual midget.

Anything below 5'8
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:27, Reply)
I am about 5'8" which I have found to be adequate for my needs.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:29, Reply)
Anybody below six foot ought to be a woman or a child.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:33, Reply)
It is probably good being tall if you 'wear it well', I imagine you don't.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:34, Reply)
I am a fine figure of a man.
Tall, broad, ruggedly handsome. I am hung like a gnat, however. We all have our shortcomings.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:35, Reply)
Really? For a number of reasons I am not sure this is true, bar the handsome bit of course.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:37, Reply)
Yeah I'm the same. Maybe 5'9
I have no need to reach the highest fruit on the tree.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:33, Reply)
I always though you were tall for some reason.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:35, Reply)
Average innit.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:52, Reply)
No. Perfect. Perfect is the word.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:54, Reply)
I thought it was Grease?

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:32, Reply)
Bird.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:32, Reply)
Everybodies heard

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:35, Reply)
Don't you know?

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:35, Reply)
oh, alright
i'd be vipros and go surfing ALL DAY
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:22, Reply)
I'd like to be YOU, GeordieJay.
Just like YOU. Like YOU in EVERY SINGLE WAY.

I love you, GeordieJay.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:23, Reply)
I wasn't even fishing...
*flutters eyelashes*
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:26, Reply)
Cor!

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:29, Reply)
The Cypress Hill/Sonic Youth follow up single....

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:27, Reply)
God I hate bitching about the weather. I hate it more than I hate most other things. Except children.
God, I hate children. Except that one girl in the shop today that managed to make me laugh by embarrassing her awful chav mother.

I wouldn't want to be another b3tan, I'm their genetic superior in every way. It'd be like swapping lives with a crab.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:32, Reply)
Is that the same genetic superiority that makes you wear glasses and be scared of moths?

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:33, Reply)
Genetically superior compared to this bunch.
Compared to them, I'm practically a Hemsworth.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:36, Reply)
It's nice how you are quite obviously not lumping me in with them. Thanks.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:41, Reply)
I am unfailingly polite.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:42, Reply)
Like putting glasses and a wispy beard on a vegetable.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:36, Reply)
Says the man that put one leg in the White Witch of Narnia's garden.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:37, Reply)
Nowt wrong with my Narnia Garden.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:46, Reply)
You lion to me?

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:58, Reply)
hahaha
a marrow, I think
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:37, Reply)
He's only a day awaaaaaaaay

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:39, Reply)
I'd be Frog o k

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:40, Reply)
I'd be swipe then post THE TRUTH about collars and cuffs

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:41, Reply)
collars: regularly maintained at a city salon
cuffs: regularly removed by said city salon

DONE.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:57, Reply)
Arse like a 10 year old boy
Twat like a 10 year old girl

Saviletastic
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:59, Reply)

boy girl Sarlacc (x2)
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:01, Reply)
hahahah eeeeow

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:09, Reply)
Swipe before a visit to the salon.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:31, Reply)
THATS NO MOON(KEY)

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:31, Reply)
STOP POSTING YOUR WEDDING PICTURES

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:53, Reply)
You'd like it, it's great being me. There would be a whole day of shock and awe to find out what I'm really like.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:45, Reply)
Having to keeping watching you don't smash your head on people's kneecaps.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:47, Reply)
Not really, I don't hang around with lumbering great oafs, I like to keep those freaks at arms length.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 14:51, Reply)
stunned is ok
for a genetic mutant with a necrotic foot.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:19, Reply)
THERE'S NOWT WRONG WITH MY FOOT!

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:25, Reply)
THE OTHER ONE!

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:27, Reply)
OH. I SEE.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:28, Reply)
You've nailed it.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:28, Reply)
HMV Oxford St is closing down, apparently.
Another victory for Team Online Purchasing!
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:13, Reply)
+ Team Digital Piracy.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:15, Reply)
Clubbing together to bring down an archaic relic of a pre-digital age.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:16, Reply)
poor monty, beaten to death like a common seal pup

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:24, Reply)
woooooo! more people on the dole! yay! well alright for no jobs!

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:46, Reply)
altalt: everyone wants to be me cos I'm the best one here or anywhere

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:15, Reply)

s

n
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:16, Reply)
*golf claps*

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:27, Reply)
Worst of all the lesbian-based STDs.
Or something.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:29, Reply)
Hole in one!

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:31, Reply)
Difficult to find an evening dress waistcoat, isn't it?
Bloody things are like hen's teeth.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:38, Reply)
Have you tried Ede & Ravenscroft?

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:41, Reply)
I have no idea what that is but they sound like the tailors from the Fast Show

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:50, Reply)
That's more or less them
The make pretty much all university gowns. As well as the uniforms for a few public schools.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:51, Reply)
^TGGI
but they are £150+.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:53, Reply)
I have indeed looked at Ede and Ravenscroft.
Unfortunately, the one I like is 175 pounds, which is a little much for a suit I wear around once a year to events where people frequently don't bother with a bow tie.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:12, Reply)
Povvo.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:26, Reply)
Haha, I am merely being efficient.
I'll probably have to stick with a cummerbund for now, but I am not a fan of wearing those.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:30, Reply)
cummerbunds are for the lower orders who wear clip-on bow ties.
Such as Stunned.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:35, Reply)
He can borrow mine if he likes.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:37, Reply)
Oh, I've seen people wearing notched lapels
without a waist covering at all. Cummerbunds are fine, I'm just getting a little chubby to get away with them.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:37, Reply)
What do you want one for?
and, how are you differentiating an evening dress waistcoat from a general patterned one? or do you want a black one?
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:51, Reply)
Also,
not really
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:54, Reply)
You can pay the £40 over 3 months!!!!

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:57, Reply)
I'll be honest, I didn't read it
as waistcoats in general are for cunts.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:57, Reply)
and?

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:58, Reply)
and I've already got plenty of them hohohohoho.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:59, Reply)
hmmm
that is a different angle from the one I was going for, but it still works. 2/10.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:05, Reply)
That is not an evening dress waistcoat.
That is a black informal waistcoat for a business suit.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:11, Reply)
I want one for my dinner jacket
So yes black and certainly not patterned. Good God, man.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:10, Reply)
£175.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:12, Reply)
If I could justify it, I'd be all over it.
Sadly I work for a company the director of which wears waistcoats with clowns on. I feel like a dinosaur at these things.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:16, Reply)
I can get a screen printed one of my face

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:17, Reply)
I'm having Blazer woes right now.
I want one that's a bit fashion forward but still formal.

Elbow patches are so last year.
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:43, Reply)
oh hai
Is it going to snow then? Fair enough. I like coats.

altalt: you, you seem happy enough
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 15:56, Reply)
Arctic winds. Definitely snow but as always they are vague as to when.
It is the WORST WINTER FOR DECADES!!!
WORSE THAN THE WORST WINTER WE HAD LAST YEAR!!

AND THE YEAR BEFORE!!

What's worse is, people buy into it!
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:22, Reply)
who buys snow?

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:30, Reply)
Snow idea.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:30, Reply)
I don't snow.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:32, Reply)
Snowone.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:32, Reply)
INFORMER ^

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:34, Reply)
That's snow joke!

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:37, Reply)
*licks your bum bum now*

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:37, Reply)
I could at least buy you a drink first

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:38, Reply)
i'd rather have it afterwards
to take the taste away and disinfect
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:38, Reply)
Good point

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:42, Reply)
Anyway - you can all FUCK OFF, because I'm going home now.
Byeeeee!
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:37, Reply)
fuck you
I am home
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:38, Reply)
Polite chap, him.

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:42, Reply)
He did say bye

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:42, Reply)
So, in the same thread, if I call someone an abhorrent cunt
but leave with a courtesy, this is still good manners?
(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:44, Reply)
On here, yes

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:44, Reply)
You cunt

(, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 16:45, Reply)

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