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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Great news!!
www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2515485/Dappy-hospitalized-kicked-face-horse.html

I don't endorse the Daily Heil but had to see if they were being racist about the horses colour.
Who do you want to get kicked in the face by a horse and why?

alt. Best/Worst ways to die.

altalt. What are you all doing? Not posting on here, that's for sure!!!

Get fucked.
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 12:54, 122 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
you.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 12:57, Reply)
Cheer up sonna.
Might never happen, eh?
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 12:58, Reply)
Schadenfreude, Jason.
I don't want anyone to be kicked in the face by a horse.
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:03, Reply)
What a good lad you are.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:09, Reply)
I'd like to see Sandi Toksvig kicked to death. Doesn't need to be by a horse. Any mammal will suffice.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:17, Reply)
I like Sandi Toksvig.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:19, Reply)
There is something sinister about her. I dislike her almost as much as you dislike moths.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:25, Reply)
Is it because she is so much taller than you?

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:27, Reply)
She is exceptionally odd.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:30, Reply)
No. 73 was good though

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:31, Reply)
ITV? Wasn't allowed to watch that. Common apparently.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:35, Reply)
That Blurred Lines song right, it's getting all this publicity about it being rapey
but I reckon it's got an excellent base line and I like it.

Maybe rapists would be more popular if they all had funky baselines.
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:17, Reply)
That bit when he goes "what rhymes with hug me" has its own website where people guess what rhymes with it
Someone put something like:

Go ahead and drug me
If you get sleepy
I won't get creepy
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:21, Reply)
Isn't it the video that people are upset about?

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:24, Reply)
Yeah. That's right, a number of student unions have baaned the song being played on radio because of the video.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:26, Reply)
Well the BBC banned two Frankie Goes To Hollywood songs because of the videos, so it isn't beyond the realms of possibility.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:29, Reply)
I thought that Relax was due to Simon Bates being offened by the line
"when you want to suck to it"
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:33, Reply)
Mike Read, wasn't it?

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:35, Reply)
Could well have been to be honest
was just going from memory and Bates was the first DJ I got to...


A quick google confirms you are correct, have 3 internet points
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:36, Reply)
YES!!! IN YOUR FACE!!

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:39, Reply)
Plasterers radio lols

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:40, Reply)
He is a MARRIED MAN
and it is MORALLY WRONG.

Song's a bit shit too. No idea why it caught fire.
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:25, Reply)
But the video has saucy ladies with boobs in it

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:28, Reply)
They all do these days. Whores of Babylon.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:30, Reply)

Girl comes into the pub with half her tits showing, I look at them, I'm the pervert...

I walk into the pub with half my cock showing...Girl looks at it...I'm still the pervert!?
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:34, Reply)
Double standards, man.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:36, Reply)
Regardless of the joke, and if we had a proper lawyer on here they could confirm
This could be apocryphal, but there was a tale of an example of how this works:
If a bloke looks out of his window and sees a lady sunbathing naked in her garden next door he could be done as a peeping tom,
however if the reverse happens he could be done for indecent exposure.
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:39, Reply)
pressing charges will also depend on how fit he is.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:41, Reply)
On the plus side we get paid more and promoted ahead of them, so swings and roundabouts...

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:41, Reply)
Don't have to endure childbirth, car insurance is cheaper, don't bleed every month etc.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:43, Reply)
Car insurance isnt cheaper for men

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:44, Reply)
It is for me v my ex, by about £500.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:45, Reply)
*Boring man who used to work in insurance alert*
Historically women (on a like for like basis) would get far cheaper insurance as they would have fewer serious accidents and drive less in general so reducing the risk. But I believe that recently there was a kick off about it so the eliminated that as part of the risk assesment
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:52, Reply)
the EU Gender Directive in December 2012
Equalised insurance ratings and annuity rates for men and women, in spite of underwriting criteria favouring women in insurance and men in annuity rates, this being due to the difference in mortality and morbidity between men and women.

HTH xx
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 15:32, Reply)
Sheila's Wheels

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:48, Reply)
Ah man those dozy tarts could do with a good killing

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:53, Reply)
Oh I know
I am being sexist in an attempt at humour
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:44, Reply)
I'm not a criminal lawyer
But I think the lack of equal pay for men and women and the lack of women in boardrooms is the better example...
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:42, Reply)

lawyer Obvious strikethrough is obvious...
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:43, Reply)
Isn't that just because you're all a bit shit?

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:45, Reply)
Shit like an independent scotland

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:46, Reply)
I'm not sure where you're going with this, but do continue...

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:52, Reply)
Well nowhere really
Just like Scotland
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:53, Reply)
the list for an independant scotland read like
someone who divorces their wife but wants to go back round each night for an evening meal and a shag
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:55, Reply)
Pretty accurate.
Alex Salmond is a fat, clueless, brainless, spastic. He should post on here.
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:56, Reply)
He does. Goes by the name of Al.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:57, Reply)
That explains a lot.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:58, Reply)
I like this and have done the correct thing

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:59, Reply)
Im tweeting this.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:09, Reply)
Well as Scotland is a country then it's not physically going anywhere at all, so you're right on that score. Well done.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:55, Reply)
I am surprised he hasn't suggested a physical detachment and floating off elsewhere
It's about as realistic as some of his other shite
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:59, Reply)
You're missing a fundamental point here.
While Scotland is still physically attached to England he can still blame "they bastard English" for anything and everything that goes wrong, and yet still be able to nip next door to borrow a cup of sugar.
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:14, Reply)
I just wanted yoU to bite at my shortbread
Ah well :(
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:16, Reply)
Is that a euphemism? You could have just asked.
Or a titgaz. That usually works.
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:25, Reply)
That's so misandric.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:54, Reply)
Bob crow could only benefit from a good horse kicking
See also Vanessa feltz and Kerry katona, the latter bankrupt tramp is about to shit out her 5th disgusting piece of crotchfruit, so maybe kick her in the gunt.

Alt: my mate's grandma fell asleep aged 85 with all her faculties and a glass of wine in her hand and never woke up again. That has to be the best way. Worst? Systematic torture then being burned alive like that former slave in texas. Shudder.

Altalt: boring admin stuff.

Thanks!
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:24, Reply)
Yes. Any of those ITV2 endorsed fucktards would get it in the face.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:26, Reply)
I also have a loathing for Richard and judy

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:38, Reply)
They went to channel 4 didn't they?

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:39, Reply)

loathing wide on
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:41, Reply)
Hello gayjay.
I can think of Several people needing a horse kicking but I'm not going to tell you.
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:35, Reply)
Does one of them wear a shit hat?

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:36, Reply)
Yes.
Yes she does.
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:47, Reply)
Clickin dis

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:36, Reply)
Hello

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:46, Reply)
*waves*
You came to save /OT?
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:48, Reply)
No

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:51, Reply)
Hello Frogcock.
I'm dog sitting today. He's big and evil looking.
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:51, Reply)
Put a cap on its head. Guaranteed to make any wearer look like a pussy.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:52, Reply)
well get off him then

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:53, Reply)
He LAAAAAARVS it.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:00, Reply)
Stupid Royal Mail have lost a t-shirt I ordered.
No wonder they are getting shafted.
It's been at the Truro office for ten days. I don't even...

Getting a refund though and the company says I can keep it if it comes.
I may now get onto Royal Mail and be a true winner.
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:50, Reply)
I've never in all my days seen anyone work so slowly before as when I visit that place. I mean, it's like actual slow motion.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:04, Reply)
The sorting office round mine always has a queue out the door for undelivered items.
It's a painful process going to collect.
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:08, Reply)
Bye

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:05, Reply)
No, just curious

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:08, Reply)
very good

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:38, Reply)
I have a mate who once got kicked over a wall by a donkey
Proper shoe prints on his chest

I'd like to see Kate Bush smashed in the face by a horse, yes

I've been to the pub, all is good now
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:11, Reply)
Im finally on my dinner after butty bitch did a no show.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:13, Reply)
I decided that 6 pints of Peroni was better than food
I stand by this
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:14, Reply)
6 for lunch? That would put Stunned to shame.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:23, Reply)
well he has done his northern running thing now
so he might as well go for the monopod look and aim for the 2016 special Olympics
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:25, Reply)
I'm gonna roll me a gold medal

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:32, Reply)
Re your earlier comment who wouldn't let you watch ITV?

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:26, Reply)
My parents.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:28, Reply)
Done and done

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:31, Reply)
I assume you don't drive to & from work?

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:33, Reply)
Not today, no
Metro baby
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:35, Reply)
hrrrrrrrnnnnnkkk
Stand clear of the doors please
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:41, Reply)
Indeed this
via the "joy" of the Meadow Well and North Shields too
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:42, Reply)
I lived in Meadowell for a month or so.
The only place where I've never felt safe in my own home.
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 15:00, Reply)
During the Geordiepocalypse I got chucked off the Metro there in th PISSING rain
I nearly drowned getting to North Shields
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 15:07, Reply)
Sounds like some sort of toon army?

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 15:09, Reply)
It was a Toon Army riot.
Whole housing estate went apeshit.
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 15:10, Reply)
Earned the name MeadowHell

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 15:10, Reply)
The "army" epithet annoys me.
Toon Army, Barmy Army etc.

You're not an army, you're a mob. A mob of drunk oiks.
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 15:15, Reply)
This is because you're French. Your lot have never liked being in the military.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 15:16, Reply)
Theirs is the "retreating army"

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 15:20, Reply)
Hands up for the French!

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 15:21, Reply)
Prior to Keegan in 1992 there was no such thing as the "Toon" or the "Toon Army"
It seemed to appear then, much to my annoyance
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 15:21, Reply)
I blame them for summoning the vast amount
of devastating tidal waves we have had recently
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 15:35, Reply)
Don't drag me into that.
I have nothing but faultless manners and etiquette.

Now fuck of and die, you white flag waving, snail eating poof.
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 15:21, Reply)
No, the proper mental rain we had last year

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 15:14, Reply)
Serving pulled pork realness.
Worth the wait.
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:32, Reply)
I like Kate's Bush.

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:14, Reply)
I bet its like a 70's Keegan

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:38, Reply)
the balls would skid off it after a weak attempt of a flick header?

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:46, Reply)
Mine did

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:50, Reply)
there are only about 4 people here who would have got this reference
Now where is my baseball bat?
(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 14:55, Reply)
Think YM's lost it in her minge again

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 15:07, Reply)
Its a Range Rover lol from me, boss

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 15:07, Reply)
alright

(, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 15:33, Reply)

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