How many police officers does it take to crack an egg?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:16, 116 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

None, it fell down the stairs by itself

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:16, Reply)

Luke 11:12

Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion

#justprayin'
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:17, Reply)

I don't know what your lot are on about anyway.
Them foxes are vermin, they need their numbers to be kept down. If Tonks and Ginge and I wish to have a little sport whilst doing it then why the bally hell shouldn't I? My land.

Bring back National Service, I say. Sort your soft little lot out sharpish, that.
( Kroney, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:19, Reply)

There's nothing wrong with fox hunting.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:21, Reply)

I think Frog prefers pig-sticking

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:23, Reply)

I would hunt that Megan one,

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:26, Reply)

I don't really care one way or the other, but I did used to quite enjoy watching the Hunt head down Guildford high street.

( Kroney, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:26, Reply)

They should introduce it into P.E at schools to reduce veganism.

( Muns, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:28, Reply)

R Kelly really didn't help himself towards the end of his career

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:29, Reply)

It was a midget

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:36, Reply)

Thanks "Brian Conley"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:37, Reply)

I meant this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-L-Cp3qZfQ
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:40, Reply)

Whether or not there's anything wrong with it
it's a rubbish way of actually killing foxes. Hunts are shit.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:38, Reply)

Agreed Im not a fan in the slightest.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:39, Reply)

I hope they put a high speed rail link across it.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:26, Reply)

All I'm saying is that they stopped fox hunting
and now foxes are going through my bins and snatching peoples' babies. I'm not saying these two things are linked, but I don't remember any pre-ban baby snatching foxes.
( Kroney, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:39, Reply)

Have you tried putting up a sign near your bins
I cant think of what suitable wording you should use to warn them away though, any suggestions from the floor?
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:42, Reply)

I think if we all STAY ABOUT in this thread, a solution may present itself

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:48, Reply)

Nope... its going to elude us all

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:51, Reply)

If only the Acton hunt was still running, eh? That would sort those bin foxes
Imagine, in full cry, galloping across the car park of the Redback. Enduring image, isn't it, hmmm???
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:53, Reply)

Urban foxes are a fucking blight
and if charging across the A40 on horseback, glistening horn in hand, is the only way to thin their numbers, then I'll take it as an honour. As an honour, sir!
( Kroney, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:56, Reply)

You do know, right
that when people bang on and on about foxes being at their bins, it's usually fucking cats?

Now I could get fully behind cat hunting.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:57, Reply)

Always up for a pussy hunt eh Badge
# TRUE LAD
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:58, Reply)

I ain't hunting no cat.
Confirmed foxes only, thank you. Can't tickle a fox behind its ears, it'll bite your hand off and while you're screaming and spurting arterial blood everywhere, it'll fuck off with your baby and all.
( Kroney, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:00, Reply)

I've known plenty of cats that'll rip your hand off if you tickle them behind the ears
some women, too.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:01, Reply)

or badgers

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:01, Reply)

Bring it.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:01, Reply)

Badgers are fucking dangerous. I got chased by one once.
I swear it had a knife.
( Kroney, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:09, Reply)

I don't need to be tooled up, French boy.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:11, Reply)

SHOOT HIM HE'S GOT A GUN

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:11, Reply)

Maybe you were wearing some hideously French black and white stripey jumper
And it was trying to rape you.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:13, Reply)

The "Le Pue" defense

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:16, Reply)

Tres bien.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:38, Reply)

A fox once got stuck in a hole in my mate's fence.
He and his dad spent ages trying to free it, with it howling and yapping and scratching at them and trying to bite them. Eventually they managed to free it, both torn and bloodied, and the damned thing shot across their garden and promptly got stuck in a hole in the other fence.

So they shot it.

The moral of the story is that gingers are stupid and ungrateful.
( Kroney, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:54, Reply)

Not true
Gingers are ALWAYS grateful.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:55, Reply)

if theyre vegan, none

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:21, Reply)

wots ur fave beanie baby?
Mine's Pinchers the fuckin lobster lol
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:32, Reply)

is the egg armed?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:35, Reply)

depends if you double-tap it?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:37, Reply)

Just like YM

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:39, Reply)

Thats double bag not tap

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:43, Reply)

Two shots to the face

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:48, Reply)

7 to the body
"The de Menezes finish"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:51, Reply)

and one more for my dead homies

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:51, Reply)

"I'm just spaffing a 40"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:52, Reply)

hahaha

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:54, Reply)

Just been invited to here tomorrow evening, think I'll go for my last night of freedom.
www.redhot-worldbuffet.com/
All you can eat joint.
A pig's delight.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:38, Reply)

decent food too for a buffet.
I've been to the Manc one.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:44, Reply)

They are yes.
I went to the Liverpool one it was full of hungry Scousers. Carnage on a Saturday night.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:47, Reply)

Scousers in free for all shocker

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:59, Reply)

QUICK, GET OUT THE NOTEBOOK, SecondBestTroll lives within travelling distance to "ion Cardiff Leeds Liverpool Manchester Milton Keynes Northampton Nottingham".
I'm gonna knock out a big one to knowing THAT tonight now.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:48, Reply)

...







... what?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:52, Reply)

I am going to say Cardiff
He smells Welsh
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:54, Reply)

I'm going to Cardiff in a few weeks
100% of truefax, internet fans.

because of stupid flight times I have half a friday to kill in Cardiff centre so I'm going to hunt down SSG and buy him a pint.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 16:59, Reply)

Cardiff is a fucking hole populated by thick tattooed uber plebs

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:38, Reply)

It's the shittest town in the list.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:02, Reply)

Steady on. Have you been to Milton Keynes or Northampton?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:04, Reply)

Its in Wales in wins by default
it also proves my theory
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:06, Reply)

It's the MK one.
Never been to Northampton. Cardiff was ok, only been there briefly.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:08, Reply)

Cardiff's alright
There's some great pubs. I'd stay away from the seafront though - 'chain' restaurants and overpriced drinks.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:07, Reply)

You live in Coventry, your opinion is worthless
You are effectively saying that a steaming dog turd of a town is ok compared to your sticky globule of aids infested tramp spunk of a town
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:40, Reply)

I spent the longest week of my life in Northampton on a course. What a fucking shithole.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:11, Reply)

Check out Goole mate.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:13, Reply)

^^*shudders*^^

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:16, Reply)

Gateshead High Street is a sight to behold.
I think they've knocked down that hideous car park from 'Get Carter', but you can't polish a turd.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:21, Reply)

(•_•)
<)   )╯I
 /    \         

\(•_•)  
 (   (> Don't
 /    \  

 (•_•) 
<)   )> Care !
 /    \

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:02, Reply)

Well, that's worked well. #Fatty

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:02, Reply)

May God bless you everyone, may The Lord keep you safe x

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:34, Reply)

Is this social commentary on how the met legally shot an armed and dangerous gang member?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:37, Reply)

Please don't.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:37, Reply)

Don't do what?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:43, Reply)

Start the boring fuckers off again, as if anyone gives a shit about a forum posters opinion on real life matters.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:44, Reply)

If only al were here...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:47, Reply)

Have a look at the second half of the skiing thread for your daily news update.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:48, Reply)

I think that was one of the most tedious threads ever

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:50, Reply)

I fucking love skiing/snowboarding

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:52, Reply)

That bit was alright, it tailed off badly though. I had to go to the pub so I didn't fall asleep.
It annoys me that people forget they are merely here to amuse me.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:57, Reply)

I dun a new thread just for you train buddy xx

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 18:00, Reply)

I think it's good to talk about current affairs for a bit.
and so did everyone else who joined in I'd assume.

It cant be all YM jokes and calling me thick!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 18:08, Reply)

nah, cookery question innit

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:38, Reply)

alright blue namer, a/s/l please

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 17:44, Reply)