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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Hiya!!
First of all, I'd just like to apologise for the bad weather we have been having lately.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-25802437
When did you take the heat for something that wasn't your fault?

alt. Good week/ Bad week. What's happening? My Birthday tomorrow. I'm working so I expect a nice verse from each of you in the morning. Off to Dublin at the weekend too. Lavely.

altalt. Last film you watched, and was it any good?
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (where do they get them from) for me. It was ok. Dude in it looked like Jeremy Kyle. Very confusing.
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 11:49, 183 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
^ upset

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 11:50, Reply)
Oh and the meatza I cooked at the weekend was well nom.
It's just a glorified herby, topped burger though, really...
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 11:52, Reply)
Herby topped burger
is my new favourite slang for gay...

"Look at him, he is a right herby topped burger"
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 11:55, Reply)
Shut it, you herby topped burger!

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 11:59, Reply)
Works dont it

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:01, Reply)
Whatever works for you...

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:01, Reply)

jelly.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2189872
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:05, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zp2B8G-Vm0o
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:21, Reply)
Not clicking that (knowing your lot) It WILL be a virus Soz

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:25, Reply)
I know a lot of people think he's right, but I like the more tolerant approach of Putin - we won't oppress you, but please leave our children alone.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:03, Reply)
Pink Floyd are happy for the increase in album sales.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:06, Reply)
good god
people commit atrocities every single day of the week and god does nothing, but THAT he decides to punish, in one tiny part of the country? what a fucking idiot.

alt: soooooo tired today after 4 nights of finishing at 3am and skiing and not getting home until 1.30am last night.

altalt: American hustle. it was excellent, very clever slow burner
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:05, Reply)
I said this yesterday.
Rape, murder, genocide. Not a batted eyelid.
2 poofs tie the knot.

A PLAGUE. ON BOTH YOUR HOUSES!
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:07, Reply)
Yeah, but you are a herby topped burger innit

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:09, Reply)
YEAH I TWEETED ABOUT IT, I WAS SO INCENSED

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:10, Reply)
Thanks, People's Poet! Now the pigs won't hassle us now on the street any more.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:15, Reply)
Oh Frogs, you ain't active on Twitter are you?
I just don't get the point of it.
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:17, Reply)
Nah, I mean I have an account but I don't 'tweet', I just have a look from time to time
(I was merely lampooning Jason)
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:18, Reply)
I know who you are now!

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:20, Reply)
He's the chubby faced fella with the receding hairline

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:20, Reply)
Everyone's fat to you innit?

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:33, Reply)
Yup

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:34, Reply)
ooooo

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:23, Reply)
Has everyone had a good stalk of Frog then?

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:27, Reply)
Not much to go on really, but yes.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:29, Reply)
do you like my pic where it looks like im a ginger?

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:33, Reply)
Strawberry blonde.
I always imagined you with dark hair. Dunno why.

When I say always imagined...
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:34, Reply)
it is dark brown!

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:35, Reply)
Not in that light...

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:38, Reply)
I know :(

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:39, Reply)
No

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:32, Reply)
does harpooning jason count as cheating on me?

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:22, Reply)
Only if I swallow

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:23, Reply)
I hardly touch twitter, I feel it's unfair to my followship to limit my timeless prose and bespoke take on language to to one hundred and fo

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:24, Reply)
Talk about an biblical hissy fit.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:16, Reply)
THAT UKIP DUDE WANTS PUTTING DOWN. GAY MARRIAGE CAUSED FLOODS YET HE TURNS A BLIND EYE TO RAPE AND MURDER. PRICK.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:07, Reply)
Stalker!!!

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:07, Reply)
and it wasn't in upset capitals!

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:07, Reply)
WHAT'S ALL THIS #BLUEMONDAY SHIT? GET ON WITH IT, YOU MOANING LESBIANS

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:08, Reply)
:(

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:12, Reply)
Are you upset that i am retweeting?

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:12, Reply)
I'm upset that you aren't following :(
Yet reaping the benefits of my daily musings.
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:13, Reply)
I am following you, but only on twitter, not IRL

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:14, Reply)
ORLY?
Gaz me who you are...
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:16, Reply)
I'm Frog innit

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:17, Reply)
I have no amphibian followers...

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:19, Reply)
Wait, what? _women_ in her late 20s? I've not been this confused since my abusive uncle paid my way through uni.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:29, Reply)
It's a quote from something, dear.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:30, Reply)
Oh, fair 'nuff.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:33, Reply)
I saw a documentary film about some lesbians moaning
To be honest they weren't that convincing.
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:19, Reply)
All the fucking time at home
it appears to be my fault that Mrs Cow find her glasses, purse, handbag, shoes, etc.

Alt:
Good week - my boss is away for 2 weeks, I dont have ANY consultancy work booked in for the whole week and the Mrs gets paid on Wednesday
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:07, Reply)
But its my fault that she cant sit down without wincing

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:08, Reply)
Stop leaving drawing pins on my settee

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:11, Reply)
Wincy Willis

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:13, Reply)
alright

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:12, Reply)
Yer.
Good weekend Doz?
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:14, Reply)
yeah it was ta
New shoes, new shirt, records, beer, wine.
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:15, Reply)
Nice one.
Two tone brogues?
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:17, Reply)
nah
Tan brogues.
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:17, Reply)
Just think how gay they must have been back in Noah's time to get god so pissed he'd wipe out the planet...
... if just allowing gays to marry sent down the current weather?
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:15, Reply)

@ukipweather is quite amusing
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:17, Reply)
There is no evidence of any large scale floods from that period, so the story was clearly meant as a warning to benders in the future.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:18, Reply)
You're forgetting the ancient Greeks, it's a minor miracle they impregnated enough women to keep the country populated to this day

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:22, Reply)
i used to go to a greek restaurant a lot that was run by a greek silver fox
he thought he was god's gift to women. his take on teh gays?

"we greeks invented it, baby."

then hurriedly, "but not me. I am ALL MAN."
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:30, Reply)
Except at half past Ouzo

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:31, Reply)
Yeah yeah, typical denier

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:33, Reply)
About 15

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:41, Reply)
I donno man, i've read some books, Dan Brown Clone Style, that say there probably was some pretty serious floods around turkey back then.
Donno if there is any truth to it, probably not, but it makes you think....
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:22, Reply)
i just checked my spam folder, which i hardly ever do
first email: "are you really ready to masturbate?"

how much preparation does one need ffs?
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:29, Reply)
I read that in the "Are you ready to rumble" voice.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:29, Reply)
I always cook myself a nice meal first

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:30, Reply)
Scented bath oil, soothing music and candles are a must

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:35, Reply)
A clean tissue/sock

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:39, Reply)
laptop on standby usually.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:43, Reply)
Work till Thursday, then we have a visit from relatives. Ffs. I may need to self medicate.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:29, Reply)
where do you live?

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:31, Reply)
Careful sbt, this is how she groomed frog

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:32, Reply)
hey that's me!

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:34, Reply)
no it isn't
I brushed his arse hairs with my designer comb
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:36, Reply)
Kent.
I think Frog lives there too. But of course you would know where your boyfriend lives.
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:40, Reply)
Yeah I do, Folkestone innit. It's well shit.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:41, Reply)
I think I had my finger up YMs arse the other week.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:45, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2189975
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:49, Reply)
Hope you sorted her prolapsed anus dod!

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:57, Reply)
When I say finger...

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:08, Reply)
Are you Dr Morley-Smith?

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:11, Reply)
I mean life size rubber fist.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:13, Reply)
I've pencilled a visit in to the parents for March.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:32, Reply)
I am now following you on Twitter.
I hope you're not upset about this.
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:39, Reply)
I am too

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:40, Reply)
Me too!

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:43, Reply)
I'm having to sleuth for yours...

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:50, Reply)
I will apologise in advance.
I take the wittering thing seriously sometimes.
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:40, Reply)
I am following Battered now too

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:41, Reply)
I am not

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:41, Reply)
Aww our Twitter B3ta family :)

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:42, Reply)
I ain't never dun a tweet

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:42, Reply)
Neither has frog

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:43, Reply)
I deleted them

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:45, Reply)
Why have you protected yours?

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:46, Reply)
to stop stalkers from B3ta working it out.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:48, Reply)
Bit late for that

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:49, Reply)
It's only fair, I know who you are innit

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:53, Reply)
I didn't know that I had. Nothing on there anyway.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:54, Reply)
Is Rachel following you? I've turned into a digital Miss Marple

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:42, Reply)
Nope. Don't thinks she's on it. We aren't even facebook pals

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:44, Reply)
Best way. It gets meddlesome.
Me and my other aint on each others either.
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:47, Reply)
It think it's more that we are both too stubborn to 'add' the other one

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:06, Reply)
"Its complicated"

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:29, Reply)
Hun why have you put "Widowed"???
And why did my dinner taste a bit weird
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:03, Reply)
haha

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:04, Reply)
How the hell have you got that many followers?!

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:41, Reply)
Just by being fascinating.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:44, Reply)
He can read what you've written you know

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:45, Reply)
Cheeky cunt.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:46, Reply)
WELL THIS IS GOOD!!!!
Howay B3ta. make an effort.
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:40, Reply)
I'm popping into town
Anyone want owt?
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:42, Reply)
I'm good ta.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:43, Reply)
*trigger fingers*
OK team, I'm off for buns, a padlock and some cuppasoups
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:46, Reply)
Fritzl lost his touch...

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 12:47, Reply)
alright.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:00, Reply)
My wife always shouts at me when I put LIverpool down on my accumulator, says I'm putting the scud on them.
alt: I've got a few days of juggling work, kids and housework whilst my wife is at a funeral in Norn Iron. Hopefully two days isn't long enough for the household to devolve into naked, dirty hunter gatherers trying to discover fire to heat up the last tin of Roary The Racing Car spaghetti.

altalt: Dallas Buyers Club. Very good, "Bongos" MacConaughey looked liek a porn tached skeleton in a cowbay hat.
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:01, Reply)
I don't think 2 days is enough time for it to descend into Lord of the Flies territory 'Bill Clay'
Depends on how demonic your kids are!
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:08, Reply)
Sweet angelic Damiens x 4
I have to keep an eye out for sheet glass trucks all the time.
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:23, Reply)
Woah, you've got four kids?
What's wrong with you? You Catholic or summat?
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:30, Reply)
War, Famine, Pestilence and Death

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:31, Reply)
..and hell followed with them

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:57, Reply)
FACK ORF!

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:57, Reply)
Dont tell him
But he only has 1
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:03, Reply)
i just went to make my cup-a-soup
splashed boiling water over my hand, swore, went to stick it under the tap.

which gushed boiling water over it.

ffs.
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:02, Reply)
Am I going to have to give you ANOTHER lesson on the difference between the red and blue taps?

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:06, Reply)
Excellent.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:06, Reply)
The hot tap in our work kitchen churns out water so hot it breaks mugs.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:06, Reply)
Inform your employer to check your hot water supplies are up to revised part G building regulations, thanks.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:10, Reply)
TAP CHAT a new low :(

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:12, Reply)
of faucet is!

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:13, Reply)
Get fucked

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:14, Reply)
Please leave the internet.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:14, Reply)
I'll see if I can wrench myself away

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:16, Reply)
I can't believe we're spouting such rubbish

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:25, Reply)
They'll pull the plug on us for sure

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:26, Reply)
Oh do pipe down.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:27, Reply)
Oh man
I'm in hot water now
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:29, Reply)
You're flush with puns today

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:29, Reply)
b3ta is going down the pan

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:30, Reply)
This de-scalated quickly

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:34, Reply)
i think we're plumbing new depths

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:35, Reply)
We'll just have to solder on.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:37, Reply)
That'll bidet

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:37, Reply)
Excellent work

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:24, Reply)
Part G refers to 'hot water safety' among other things, silly!

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:16, Reply)
they're such a load of........

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:16, Reply)
.......... wait for it...........

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:16, Reply)
........ here it comes................

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:16, Reply)
DRIPS!

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:16, Reply)
:(

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:17, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2190015
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:17, Reply)
i'm not SINKing to your level

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:35, Reply)
Those chips were the bollocks.
And the curry sauce was excellently lumpy.
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:35, Reply)
Lumpy chip shop curry sauce is the shit

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:35, Reply)
apart from when it has apple and/or raisin in it :(
or when the lumps are powder
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:44, Reply)
i didn't realise you were a poxy southerner, though
kent doesn't do fish and chips properly.
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:36, Reply)
I'm not a Suvvener. Live and work there. The chippy near work isn't too bad. I'm still pissed at them stopping the mushy peasthough.
They have got haggis in for Burn's week awhich is good :)
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:41, Reply)
As a doctor
Should you be eating so much greasy food. Have you seen yourself recently hardly a shining example to your patients
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:52, Reply)
Little fish and chip shop in sandgate etc etc

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:42, Reply)
The one near mine is nearly 7-8 quid for fish and chips.
Has this been the case for a while now?
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:44, Reply)
They charge more for gaylords as you can't be trusted not to put it up your bottoms, and that's a waste.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:46, Reply)
Shouldn't shape it so phallically then...

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:48, Reply)
Apparently they put their winkles in each others' bottoms.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:50, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2180060
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:52, Reply)
About £5 in Seashells, best chippy round here

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:00, Reply)
I've got a crusty baguette full of cheese
I saw Joe Pasquale
I did not buy a new belt and now I regret it

Lunch update over
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:39, Reply)
I didn't see Joe Pasquale

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:40, Reply)
Im not a fan of Joe Pasquale

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:43, Reply)
I saw Paul Weller in Liberty's the other day.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:53, Reply)

was he lobbying for greater human rights
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:55, Reply)
No, I think he was going underground.

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:58, Reply)

Liberty's the tube station at midnight
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:58, Reply)
He did something to me

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:59, Reply)
Somewhere deep inside?

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:01, Reply)
best go to the doctor about that, eh?

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:57, Reply)
coo ee!

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:47, Reply)
sailor

(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:48, Reply)

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