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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Yey tuesday! Aren't Tuesday's great? They are like Monday but a day later
I did some ironing last night, it took. Me about 20 minutes a shirt, what are you shit at?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:03, 140 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
YEAH! GO TUESDAY WOOHOO!!!!
I'm crap at judging the correct amount of rice or pasta to cook. I usually end up with far too much.
More spine-chilling news as it happens.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:06, Reply)
One tea cup of rice per person
100 g pasta per person
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:15, Reply)
Nothing I am awesome at everything

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:09, Reply)
how the fuck can a shirt take 20 minutes to iron?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:11, Reply)
I am going to suggest
BENT SPASTIC
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:14, Reply)
There were several issues:
1- the electric core was far too short massively hindering my movement
2- the shirt had been washed some time ago so the creases were well developed
3- until a couple of weeks ago I'd never really ironed a shirt

I hope this answers all of your questions
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:14, Reply)
ironing a shirt is a piece of piss m8

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:26, Reply)
That's what I'm doing wrong! I didn't piss on it first
I just need some practice and an extension lead
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:29, Reply)
So there was a cable issue.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:37, Reply)
Yes :(
But this wasn't my fault, the iron has a short power cable
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:39, Reply)
Good Morning Nakers, Good Morning Everybody
I am shit at meeting new people, behaving normally in social situations, establishing friendships, showing empathy and having deviation from my usual routines.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:27, Reply)
I'm great at meeting new people
What hate is seeing them again

Morning frog!
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:28, Reply)
Obviously IRL I am awesome, amiable and approachable but only to peoples faces, behind their backs I am horrible about nearly everyone.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:30, Reply)
Is that why you got the angry sun? To represent your inner turmoil and hatred for the world?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:32, Reply)
Nah, I got *angry sun* because I thought it was 'cool' when I was 17

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:37, Reply)
Do you have a favourite colour as well, you child?
I am shit at answering questions on the internet.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:34, Reply)
Also, 20 minutes?
You bent spastic.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:34, Reply)
I JUST NEED PRACTICE

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:36, Reply)
Blue, cos I'm a boy

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:36, Reply)
Wait, you're not a bird?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:36, Reply)
Yeah, I'm totes a 16 year old girl, home alone and bored
What do you wanna do?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:38, Reply)
wat r u wearin?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:40, Reply)
Burka...with nothing underneath!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:44, Reply)
Phwor

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:09, Reply)
you should expect a psychochomp gaz

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:42, Reply)
Gill killed him in her killing room...why do you think the door was locked?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:45, Reply)
I thought he hanged himself due to his despair at his crippling debts, dead end job, life of penury and inability to ever get on the housing ladder?
Despite, y'know, being the cleverest man on the internet and that.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:47, Reply)
he'll have found a b3ta replacement and be boring the tits off everyone on there with how to do everything and run a country. prob 16 year old girls on Facebook chat.

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:50, Reply)
hey, all you need to succeed in life is wikipedia

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:52, Reply)
and a wow account

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:53, Reply)
a what?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:56, Reply)
world of sadcraft

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:03, Reply)
oh, I see
It's not something I'm familiar with.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:05, Reply)
I thought you were a gamer?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:06, Reply)
console gamer
Not MMO games, those are for BO afflicted Games Workshop aficionados with bad dress sense and no taste in music beyond dadrock and the rock charts.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:08, Reply)
Anyone else struggling to see a difference here?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:09, Reply)
it's like the difference between shitting your pants with a solid log and with diarrhoea

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:10, Reply)
It's always about the poo play with you, isn't it?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:11, Reply)
just painting a picture that you would understand, sweetheart

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:12, Reply)
After 24 years of a strict vegetarian diet, I can't remember the last time I passed a truly solid log

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:14, Reply)
Have you tried adding sawdust to your diet?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:16, Reply)
He's a veggie
Hasn't he suffered enough FFS?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:46, Reply)
Yes.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:11, Reply)
No he is gormless

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:08, Reply)
one has to wonder why he was trying to get in there at all, when he was expressly not invited
surely when you're in someone else's home, opening doors to rooms where they don't take you is a bit... odd? nosy?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:49, Reply)
Alright swipeypoo?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:50, Reply)
hello randy butter

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:52, Reply)
camouflage, clear, black, mirror

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:43, Reply)
I am shit rather a lot of things, including:
Keeping my temper (apart from with Micro for some reason).
Stopping smoking.
Portion control.
Delayed gratification.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:14, Reply)
Back on the tabs then?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:16, Reply)
Unfortunately.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:17, Reply)
*offers wheezing hug*
welcome back into the fold brother
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:19, Reply)
Mashed potato
Always end up with lumps in it, no matter how long I take over it. Clearly a mong.

Morning all
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:22, Reply)
Buy a potato ricer
www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-potato-ricer/p230954591
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:24, Reply)
Does that change the texture much?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:33, Reply)
It's excellent, I have one
I resisted for a while as it looked a bugger to clean but now I wouldn't go back to a masher.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:34, Reply)
Makes it smoother. Texture is also influenced by the amount of butter, milk etc. that you add.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:35, Reply)
May well give it a go

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:54, Reply)
1) make sure you buy floury potato rather than waxy ones
2)add melted butter and a splash of milk to the pan prior to adding the spuds
3) ensure the spuds are as dry as possibly prior to putting them back in the pan
4) once you have been through them with the masher get a wooden spoon and beat them.

should get lumps out
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:31, Reply)
Think point 1 is likely where I go wrong
I mainly just buy whatever potatoes are there.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:33, Reply)
Larger types like Maris Piper or Kind Edward for mashing and roasting
Smaller types like Charlotte for boiling
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:36, Reply)
although with a ricer you can get decent results from Charlottes

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:39, Reply)
Well I dare say if you dropped a grand piano from a 3rd floor window they'd probably mash up alright as well

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:42, Reply)
point 3 is important too
if there is too much water left on/in the boiled spuds you end up with wallpaper paste
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:36, Reply)
In order
1) yes
2) what?
3) see above
4) what?

Here's what you do

1) boil spuds
2) drain spuds
3) add butter and a splash of milk
4) mash the fuckers

It's really not difficult at all. The wrist action during mashing is quite important though...down and twist.

Strikethrough coming in 3,2,1...
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:35, Reply)
see above for point 3 explaination
if you heat the butter and milk prior to adding the spuds you get a smoother mixture,
the spoon bit at the end is an optional extra.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:38, Reply)
I can't say I have a problem with lumpy mash
So I don't see the need to over-complicate it for the poor lad.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:43, Reply)
Make the mash with baked potatoes, this way you avoid the excess water associated with boiling
Heat the milk/cream/butter before mashing it in

Stop being a potato spastic
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:40, Reply)
*preheated milk and butter fives*

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:43, Reply)
^^Ironing spastic

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:43, Reply)
I've not heard the baked potato idea before, not a bad idea.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 10:00, Reply)
Luckily Yahoo has all the answers
answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20061116203431AAC7PSt
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:41, Reply)

answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20121009091513AAkmGAe
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:42, Reply)

answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110804115010AAYB6T4
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:44, Reply)
Wow, MASH CHAT really has got the board moving

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:36, Reply)
Sure did. I hope next people can explain how to make toast.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:37, Reply)
we have a right laugh here don't we

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:39, Reply)
i really don't know anymore

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:39, Reply)
That's the spirit!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:47, Reply)
What are we doing with our lives Tangles?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:47, Reply)
Have you considered ending yours recently
if not I can recommend it
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:50, Reply)
I think I shall just come back later

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:50, Reply)
Well that doesn't help the situation now, does it?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:51, Reply)
Well what would you have me do? I don't know how much more ironing and potato chat I can take!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:52, Reply)
How about taking the initiative
and starting a thread you would like to talk in...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:54, Reply)
NO U

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:55, Reply)
I think I can safely say
That all of the threads I have ever started have been epically shit
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:56, Reply)
1) add yeast to flour and salt
2) add a small amount of olive oil
3) add water and mix until the dough starts to form together
4) remove from bowl and knead until the dough has gone smooth
5) place back in bowl and leave for a good few hours to prove and for the taste to improve
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:40, Reply)
1. Toast bread.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:41, Reply)
Shove it under the grill until black, scrape off the burnt bits, eat

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:41, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2216301
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:42, Reply)
I liked the bit where the guys tried to look at Hotlips in teh shower

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:38, Reply)
Turn the items inside out before doing them, for a non-shiny finish.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:38, Reply)
Or just use a heat setting that doesn't irradiate the fuck out of the item concerned

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:46, Reply)
You're no fun any more.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:48, Reply)
Your iron is radioactive?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:49, Reply)
Yeah that's right, I've got a Magnox toaster
Or you know, maybe heat radiation.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:54, Reply)
Oh right, a different word then

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:59, Reply)
Surely if you're pushing the hot plate against the clothes, you're not using raditation to heat them?

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 10:02, Reply)
Yes, you are.
This, however, has little to do with irradiation.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 10:06, Reply)
But you're not, you're using conduction as the heat is directly moving from the hot plate, to your clothes.
It's only radiating heat when you remove it from the clothes
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 10:10, Reply)
Would someone please start a new thread?
This one has gone a bit shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:53, Reply)
No
It started a BIT shit,
But we have managed to drag it down lower
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:55, Reply)
^
I don't know how it managed to get lower than ironing chat.
I guess I underestimated AA.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 10:00, Reply)
I take great pride in my part in the shitness

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 10:06, Reply)
You asked a question, I answered it.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 10:07, Reply)
No I didn't

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 10:08, Reply)
Oops

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 10:12, Reply)
did a new thread

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 10:04, Reply)
I have a new phone handset, the ringer isn't quite as good as my old one
but the sound is clearer, so overall I'm happy.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:56, Reply)
Mobile? What have you gone for? I'm due for an upgrade soon.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:59, Reply)
No, my office phone handset.
I used to have a Grandstream and now I have a Yealink T20
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 10:00, Reply)
But if you're getting a mobile, get a Nexus 5. Or a Galaxy S4.

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 10:01, Reply)
Thanks. I like the look of the Galaxy.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 10:03, Reply)
Its always about the chocolate with you innit

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 10:06, Reply)
That's not Bartleby

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 10:08, Reply)
I've just got mine, gone for an S4 mini
Was originally going for the HTC One, but realised that £37 per month is fucking ridiculous, got the S4 for £25 p/m.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 10:07, Reply)
How mini is it?

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 10:11, Reply)
4.91 x 2.41 x 0.35 in

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 10:12, Reply)
That's hardly mini, it's barely smaller than my S3.

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 10:18, Reply)
Aye, the full size one is massive though

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 10:19, Reply)
No they aren't, they're very slightly bigger than an S3

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 10:20, Reply)
Feels massive in my hand though, have had a tiny phone the last 2 years

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 10:23, Reply)
oh the strike through hilarity

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 10:31, Reply)

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