Rory has put a curse on me:
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2225312

Following this, my ex has withdrawn contact. Thanks Rory. Thanks a fucking bunch.

Ever felt you've been cursed?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:20, 112 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Sometimes, if you've had to struggle too much in the morning, it's worth simply accepting defeat and going back to bed.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:26, Reply)

What did she do that for?

( Kroney, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:30, Reply)

She's not given me a reason.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:32, Reply)

Can she legally do that?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:34, Reply)

bitches be crazy

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:35, Reply)

No.
But they don't have a legal agreement. Looks like he's going to have to get one.
( Kroney, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:35, Reply)

^ this

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:48, Reply)

He can't call 999 and get her decision overturned

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:36, Reply)

^ this.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:48, Reply)

Could you not ask her nicely what the reason is?
Keep it light?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:34, Reply)

I'm sending her a polite email, that a friend is going to read before I send it, to make sure it is reasonable & rational.
I doubt she will respond to it.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:54, Reply)

Email isn't a bad idea as you then have proof

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:55, Reply)

Nothing is reasonable and rational to a woman scorned.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:56, Reply)

A gyppo once said "Fuck you" at me because I wouldn't buy her poxy heather
Alsmot overnight I lost my hair and put on weight. Really makes you think.

Sorry to hear your bad news. Hope it works out for you.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:30, Reply)

A gyppo once said I had a lucky face.
I guess she was right because I kept my hair despite all my male relatives being as bald as coots.
( Kroney, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:43, Reply)

fucking provocative

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:46, Reply)

What, my hair? A full head of hair is pretty sexy, I guess. Don't know if I'd go as far as provocative.

( Kroney, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:01, Reply)

Sometimes, maybe
But then I read the horrific details of all of your lives and then I feel blessed.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:35, Reply)

IT'S JUST A PLANT WRAPPED IN FUCKING FOIL
Bloody thieving gyppos.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:36, Reply)

It's ok, she can't hurt you any more

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:38, Reply)

Hitler had the right idea

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:38, Reply)

Well, about some things

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:39, Reply)

Moustaches, mainly

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:40, Reply)

I saw an old man with (what can only be described as) a Hitler moustache the other day
What's the statute of limitations on facial hair?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:45, Reply)

I saw a chap in Gran Canaria's airport with an amazing Hitler 'tache
He was a right cunt too
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:49, Reply)

I think you have to be to go with that type of moustache
There's no way that you'd grow one without knowing what Hitler looked like. Like these people that wear swastika's and say "Wull ackshully it's an Undian sumbol thut means Peace". Cunts, the lot of them.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:51, Reply)

Hats, I agree with you

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:52, Reply)

phew

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:02, Reply)

This last 12 months have been a monumental shitfest, so yes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:35, Reply)

Shit not going down well bro?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:46, Reply)

Not really, no
Starting to get slightly less shit now though
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:49, Reply)

Good to hear.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:53, Reply)

oh hai monty, did somone put you in a hot wash?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:43, Reply)

Ha ha ha. Oh you cunt. 10/10.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:47, Reply)

xx

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:51, Reply)

Excellent

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:50, Reply)

c-lick

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:09, Reply)

KERPLOWIE! Right in the kisser.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:19, Reply)

might as well take that dubai job now
Every cloud...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:47, Reply)

Turned it down.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:48, Reply)

:( Divorce makes me sad.
Seems like it's one upmanship rather than giving the kids access to both parents.

Not this personally but in general.
Take her on Jeremy Kyle. He knows his oats.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:55, Reply)

we all know you're an utter cunt, but micro adores you
sooooo she is hurting micro by denying her access too? and she is going to listen to micro say, "where's daddy?" and get upset?

hope she enjoys having that on her conscience, the stupid bitch.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:56, Reply)

Nah, kids are fairly easily manipulated
She'll soon be able to teach her to hate him
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:59, Reply)

i have to say
that none of my brothers' kids or my friends' kids are easily manipulated. they're all strong minded little buggers who NEVER FORGET ANYTHING EVER.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:03, Reply)

Well, sooner or later people start using children as weapons when they don't think they're getting what they want.
It's unpleasant, but it seems to be an almost universal constant. You're wealthy and she lives with her parents. Go for full custody.
( Kroney, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 10:59, Reply)

She doesn't live with her parents. She has a property recently valued at £600k, purchased by her parents, which she owns outright with no mortgage.
Full residency would be unfair on micro, I am going for shared residency though - that's been in progress for a while but takes months to sort out.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:05, Reply)

And also you wouldn't get it.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:05, Reply)

Maybe not, but perhaps the threat of going for it would be enough to convince her not to be a dick about access.

( Kroney, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:06, Reply)

I'm not sure being a dick is the best way to counter someone else being a dick

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:11, Reply)

^ this

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:12, Reply)

Dicks fuck pussies and sometimes they fuck arseholes etc

( Kroney, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:13, Reply)

you are EXACTLY right
in this situation, or any other potential conflict, always remember everything can be printed off and shown to the court as evidence of un/reasonableness. emails, texts, screendumps of facebook... it all goes to paint a picture.

the best thing is to have a chain of gentle, well reasoned correspondence saying, "I don't understand why you are doing this, please can you explain, or otherwise I will have no alternative but to go back to my lawyer, but I am trying my best to avoid this for your sake, mine and micro's." and if that doesn't work, leave it to the lawyer to fuck with her lawyer. I can't believe her lawyer is going to say, "ooh yes, it was a great idea suddenly to withhold access, keep that up".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:14, Reply)

I'm nearly always right.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:17, Reply)

I am nearly always a hothead.

( Kroney, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:18, Reply)

^^^^this
you have to play the long game, what might be a short term victory will probably end up losing you the war in the end.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:18, Reply)

I have kept a written record of every day - even noting the days of no contact, what sort of mood micro has been in, what we've done together, any conversation with my ex, copies of emails etc. since we split.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:28, Reply)

Excellent work.
I have to say that for all my ex was becoming slightly unhinged during the final days of our marriage, she's always been pretty reasonable with all things regarding the kids.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:30, Reply)

There is so much detail it's about an 80 page word document.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:33, Reply)

Of course shit's gonna fly if you have to use it, but if things go nuclear it's best to have the biggest bomb I guess

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:37, Reply)

I've also got a couple of friends who have offered affadvits about my ex's behaviour should I need them.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:38, Reply)

Ideal. Hopefully she'll see sense and it won't come to that.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:44, Reply)

good
keep all the detail. your lawyer is good. he will tell you which bits he needs to use. the more he has, the more it helps him.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:39, Reply)

Correct.
However, 80% of the fathers that apply for shared residency get it.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:08, Reply)

The best way to resolve this
is to get a superman outfit and climb onto the Houses of Parliament, this always seems to work
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:23, Reply)

after the seminar, we took the last few hardcore clients to the pub for last orders
I got chatted up by four 22 year old goldman sachs wanker banker boys. i'd forgotten what twats young bankers are (before they've lost their first million and gone all grey). rah rah £250 bottle of champagne rah rah rugger rah rah polo rah bonus rah rah rah take me home so I can come on your face but i'll only come if you live in the royal borough rah rah rah.

on the plus side, they were convinced i was 26. excellent lighting, must drink there again.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:11, Reply)

It's sweet that you seem to believe this
but the reality is that they all had a couple of K on 'who can pull the old fat ginger munter'.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:25, Reply)

or the phrase "blind drunk" applies

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:32, Reply)

We used to call this game "hogging".

( Kroney, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:34, Reply)

Pull a pig night.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:34, Reply)

"fat fuck"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:34, Reply)

'Going ugly, early'

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:35, Reply)

As Confucius said: He who fucks ugly, fucks often.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:36, Reply)

Ha. Excellent.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:37, Reply)

yeah i know
people always spend £500 on champagne on this game.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:38, Reply)

if only they'd known all they needed was a £15 pizza

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:42, Reply)

i think it was more like £21
shit gets expensive when you're a greedy fat fuck who orders an extra large with lots of extra meat products
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:49, Reply)

'four 22 year old goldman sachs wanker banker boys' probably would.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:43, Reply)

nah
they were drunk and horny, and i'm not really that hideous. but god they were dull. no opinions on anything interesting, just rugby and television. one of them said I was too smart for my own good, and he was going to stick to slutty secretaries. we were talking about travelling. not rocket science. not politics. not the theatre. not the cure for cancer. TRAVELLING.

the financial markets are in the hands of people like this. doom. we're all doomed.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:48, Reply)

Me, cursed? No not at all, things have been going really well for me this last year…..
Wait…no the other thing


So what was the catalyst for her denying access this time?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:18, Reply)

hh!
Morning!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:21, Reply)

Sup SC, I have the day off \o/

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:21, Reply)

Woop

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:24, Reply)

Yes and no
Been down to the main car dealers sorting out the wife's new car.

Now I have lunch cooking and beers cooling .
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:26, Reply)

Not a bad day then, eh?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:27, Reply)

I need input on DAB radio stations for the new car
I may start a thread about that later
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:29, Reply)

Please don't

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:31, Reply)

Now I'm Deffo doing one

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:33, Reply)

I wish you would 'do one'

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:37, Reply)

Your wish has been granted since Sept. last year*
Bit of a wasted wish rally

*almost
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:51, Reply)

double H
why do you need input about DAB stations... surely it isn't that complex
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:59, Reply)

Well, if you are going to cheat on your wife, sooner or later she'll dump you and take all your stuff.
You've only got yourself to blame.
( Kroney, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:22, Reply)

Wait, what?
I have yet to join the dumped club
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:24, Reply)

Still carrying on in secret, are you?
Well, it's your look-out, casanova.
( Kroney, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:24, Reply)

My parcel was put on a truck in Barking at 4:45am this morning according to their website
So where the fuck is it, that's what I want to know.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:25, Reply)

Barking

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:25, Reply)

+onna truck

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:27, Reply)

^ dibbler

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:36, Reply)

Morning Lighty
What’s with the me, me, me ?

You should be a rock for Battered at this moment
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:29, Reply)

I know, I have responded
with a solution ripped from the headlines. Not recent headlines...
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:29, Reply)

my bad

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:30, Reply)

You should kidnap the child and flee back to your homeland
I don't think we have an extradition treaty with the Oompa Loompas
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:29, Reply)

Yeah like they would let him back in

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:30, Reply)

If only their border
wasn't just one of those car barriers that you get in car parks
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 11:58, Reply)