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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Let's have a thread where we all say nice things about Nakers
and his new progeny.

I'll start.

Congratulations you bent spastic on producing a new person. I hope it doesn't cry a huge amount and that your existing child doesn't attempt to smother it.

EDIT - Alt: which would you give up, books or music?
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:39, 169 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Where is Nakers anyway?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:42, Reply)
In the pub if he's got any sense

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:43, Reply)
tggi^
I'm having a week off booze prior to my holidays
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:45, Reply)
TGGI

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:46, Reply)
this can only end well

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:44, Reply)
I thought this

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:46, Reply)
I might sit this one out.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:46, Reply)
Start an alt subthread

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:47, Reply)
I'll post one for you

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:48, Reply)
That's because you're a cunt.
Try being nice for once.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:47, Reply)
I resent this
I'm almost always nice
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:48, Reply)
Apart from when you are resenting

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:53, Reply)
They see me resentin'
They hatin'
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:01, Reply)
Hatters gotta hat.

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:06, Reply)
mad

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:12, Reply)
i have an alternative question
which would you give up, if you had to: books or music?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:47, Reply)
What about books about music?
Or sheet music?
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:47, Reply)
it depends
if you can read music, and thus play the tunes to yourself in your head, they are music.

if you can't read music, what sort of a spastic would pick those?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:48, Reply)
What about biographies of bands?

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:49, Reply)
books
clearly.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:49, Reply)
What about Leonard Nimoys musical adaptation of the Hobbit?

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:52, Reply)
if you own such a thing
your punishment is to give up BOTH.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:53, Reply)
Books

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:47, Reply)
really?
having heard your record, i thought you'd given up music already
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:49, Reply)
Ooooo, sick burn!

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:49, Reply)
ima call ZING

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:49, Reply)
don't be silly
i haven't really bothered to listen to it
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:50, Reply)
Oh no she di'ent!

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:54, Reply)
Ouch
Nasty. Neither.
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:49, Reply)
THIS IS NOT AN OPTION
SILLY SPORTERS
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:49, Reply)
It would have to be music as I can still hear it in my head anyway

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:50, Reply)
along with the voices

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:50, Reply)
They sing to me
inbetween the killings
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:50, Reply)
naked ape is tboh

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:48, Reply)
Hi Nakers, I hope your wife doesn't kick you out via a mutual friend, forcing you to live a lonely drunken existence with sparse access to your new child, leading ultimately to you becoming unemployable anywhere but Dubai where they don't really care how
much you drink
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:50, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2246843
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:51, Reply)
I can see what rory likes about this

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:52, Reply)
que?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:54, Reply)
He enjoyed being a cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:55, Reply)
Is this battered or spimf?

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:53, Reply)
Battered

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:54, Reply)
Well done Nakers for spunking up a fertile woman.
Alt - Books.
I love my music.
Though if I go completely deaf I will be without books.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 15:53, Reply)
Alt: What about audio books?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:05, Reply)
fuck that nasty shit

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:08, Reply)
What if I sing books?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:09, Reply)
i'd go deaf

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:10, Reply)
Alt: music.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:06, Reply)
Alt: I've already heard all music so might as well keep books and learn to read

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:07, Reply)
how quickly do you read?
i got 1418, which is irritatingly just below the official speed reading deadline. MOAR practice needed.

www.staples.com/sbd/cre/marketing/technology-research-centers/ereaders/speed-reader/
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:08, Reply)

www.spritzinc.com/
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:10, Reply)
1419

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:10, Reply)
686

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:11, Reply)
1669

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:12, Reply)
1588

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:13, Reply)
blimey you lot should all be working in different professions

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:14, Reply)
I'd have got a faster time in Latin or Greek obvs.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:17, Reply)
Dwarvish

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:20, Reply)

You read 434 words per minute.
That makes you 74% faster than the national average.

I read at a normal pace mind. Im sure you lot skimmed.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:14, Reply)
Hang on you got what?
That's fucking quick. I got 830 232% quicker than average.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:15, Reply)
i do read v quickly
but it doesn't help at work, i have to force myself to slow down, as otherwise the law just doesn't sink in. and then i have to read it all again. which is NOT GOOD.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:16, Reply)
So you didn't follow the instructions correctly then

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:17, Reply)
no, if it's fiction or something it all sinks in just fine at my natural pace
but statutes or contracts need to be read in a variety of different ways to find the actual legal meaning, ye see
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:19, Reply)
Tell it to the judge sister

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:20, Reply)
i do
sometimes he even agrees with me!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:20, Reply)
She reads legal papers for a living

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:17, Reply)
Yeah well so she claims.

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:19, Reply)
1

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:15, Reply)
910

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:16, Reply)
The "National Average" must be really fucking slow!

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:19, Reply)
The national average inlcudes the alomst 40% of people who are functionaly illeterate.
edit - actually I just guessed that amount, but it seems to be about 20%, whcih is still fucking awful
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:31, Reply)
I really hope that was on purpose

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:32, Reply)
I really hope your face was on purpose.

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:34, Reply)
It really is

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:35, Reply)
If I'm hungry enough illeatarat

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:34, Reply)
hahahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:34, Reply)
Is that what you say before going down on swipe?

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:35, Reply)
Hello again lunch

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:36, Reply)
Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for...
...oh, you already have
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:36, Reply)
HAHAHA!!

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:37, Reply)
Haha

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:38, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:39, Reply)
officelol

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:39, Reply)
Like people who read The Sun without a hint of irony?

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:34, Reply)
I recognised the passage so I didn't bother reading it.

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:35, Reply)
yeah well i recognised your mum's passage so...

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:39, Reply)
I didn't recognise your's. Because it had decayed due to the length of time she's been dead.

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:41, Reply)
even after being dead for a long time, she'd still turn down your fat face and bulgy eyes

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:43, Reply)
1,238
But then I'm reading for pleasure not competition.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:53, Reply)
Oh, did she drop it in the end?
Well done, Nakers, I hope it didn't damage the carpet.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:36, Reply)
I heard she was so loose that it bungee jumped back in for a while.

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:37, Reply)
The poor fucker had to use crampons and a belay to stay put

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:39, Reply)
I heard she was so loose that her first contraction fired it across the ward.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:42, Reply)
What happened at jeffstoCk,
anyone who went?
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:51, Reply)
We drank, had a curry, drank some more
some people drank a lot more and were unhappy bunnies the next day. Went for a nice Sunday roast and then headed back, the end.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:52, Reply)
No bumraping then? Thought it was mandatory.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:57, Reply)
Just remember what always breaks when you give it to a baby
her hips.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:51, Reply)

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