24 hours to go ... or, perhaps, not.
Hong Kong - love it or hate it, it certainly has a certain charm. Not least of which is that, despite my trying to get out of here at 2315 tomorrow evening on the BA26, Nuri may be in my way.



Anyone up for the first-ever 400mph take off of a 747 :eek:?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 8:04, 214 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

morning Ed
hope you aren't held up

*shakes fist at the gods*

why, damn you!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 8:17, Reply)

Morning Ed
Sending good vibes to you and the weather! (Can't you tell? )
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 8:24, Reply)

Ed, whats the first classically English thing you'll do when you get back?
Pint?
Bacon sandwich?
Game of cricket?
Invade France?
Invent a new sport and then proceed to get beaten at it by everyone?
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 9:07, Reply)

^ baz
Go for a Chinese maybe?
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 9:09, Reply)

@baz
But Ed is a scot...
Really it should be something classically scottish.
Whiskey?
Bagpipes?
Deep fried mars bar?
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 9:18, Reply)

@baz/one
erm, not English for a start (I'm a Scot!)

but to answer your question the first things I'll be doing will be as follows:

1. Go pick up Henry
2. Have tea and conversation with the Boy Wonder
3. Unpack
4. Go for a long walk

Thanks for asking though - good question!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 9:19, Reply)

Edmund
Did the small matter of "meet Rakky for breakfast in Charing Cross at 10am" slip your mind in your things to do list? Or is that after the long walk?

:)
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 9:28, Reply)

@Rakky
I apologise profusely (bends and scrapes, bends and scrapes) ... I SHALL be seeing you Saturday morning at 0930 after walk with his Lordship!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 9:37, Reply)

Morning All :)
It's stopped raining I'm very happy this morning!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 9:40, Reply)

@al
I would't dream of interferring with the goat fondling time. That's sacred.
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 9:41, Reply)

Good morning everyone!
*does a little dance*

How are we all. I am very, very worried today.

But I'm seeing Thrice tonight, and then it's the weekend, so WOO!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 9:44, Reply)

Worried about what DiT?
I've just been given a cup of tea and a biscuit! Sweet!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 9:45, Reply)

@dit
Why are you very worried?
Am passing along good vibes today via 'tinternet land since everyone at work is irritationg me far too much to get any. Have some
*sprinkles liberally*
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 9:46, Reply)

*plays air guitar at DiT to make him laugh*
Whassa matter lovey?
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 9:51, Reply)

Er. Well...
I'm not sure it's the right place to talk about it, but I have a lump which never used to be there.

And, as I come from a family with so much cancer in it we may as well be called the 'McCancers of Cancerville', I'm worried.

EDIT: Thanks for the Rock, al! :)
DOUBLE EDIT: *giggles at air guitar*, cheers Rakky!
Thanks for the biscuit, Kirst! *noms*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 9:52, Reply)

Good morning chums.
I've whizzed through the days chores and I'm now free to piss about on here all day, unless the big cheese throws a googly at me. (Whatever the cricket term is).

Edit - @DiT - get thee hence to the docs young man. *hugs*
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 9:55, Reply)

You booked to go see the doc DiT?
Please don't put it off - we are all very fond of you :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 9:55, Reply)

DiT
You're off to the Doc's today, aren't you.
( thealternativefact, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 9:57, Reply)

Well
The 747 usually takes off at 180 MPH, so twice that shouldn't be an issue. I'd be more worried about the spinning than the speed!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 9:57, Reply)

I've had to have a lump checked out
in an *ahem* personal place

I was so relieved that it was nothing I forgot to mention to the doc that I was feeling pretty rubbish for other reasons and had pretty much passed out the day before.

that was nothing too, fortunately!

sure you will be fine DiT!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 9:58, Reply)

Ah, yes. er.
I haven't booked to see a doctor yet, per se. I am not registered with any doctor at all, you see, so I'm trying to find one.

I wonder if there's such a thing as a female nudey doctor? *hopes*

EDIT: Cheers again, you lovely people! :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 10:00, Reply)

DiT
chin up, young man. what all they ^^ said.

*hugs*
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 10:02, Reply)

The NHS website is (surprisingly) helpful
at finding GPs!
www.nhs.uk/Pages/homepage.aspx

Call them and tell them you have a lump so need to see a doc asap - If I was able to register and see a doc the same day because my foot had gone purple you shouldn't have any problems.

And yes we are all going to nag you until you do it. If you call the doctor I can offer you hugs and chocolate buttons.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 10:03, Reply)

@DiT
Get that lump seen to or else I'll take a look myself.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 10:17, Reply)

Morning all
Mr Inabin went to the doctors with a massive lump on his foot.
The doctor (who was known for his dreadful bedside manner) took one look at it and said, and I quote: 'Well if it's cancer your fucked'.

Luckily it was a ganglion.

Anyway DiT go to the doctor. They would rather look at something that is nothing than you worry about waisting their time.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 21 Aug 2008, 10:24, Reply)

good moaning
Devil, go to the doctor. Now.

how are we all today?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 10:27, Reply)

I just got to work
I may have overslept a little...
( Cawl, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 10:27, Reply)

I'm trying!
I've found a Doctors near me (apparently I can't use one near my work), but I can't get through to them... It's constantly engaged!

Now I'm regretting not going on BUPA. :(

Anyway, I'm sure it'll be fine and there's nothing to worry about. Apart from getting my balls out and letting someone touch them up when it's not sexytime!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 10:28, Reply)

getting the doc to check things out was fine for me
although having another man gently cupping and fondling your giggle berries is a strange experience...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 10:28, Reply)

Hello Mrs Bin and Tulip.
@Mrs Bin, I'd have punched that bloody doctor in the nose if he had said that to me.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 10:29, Reply)

@Vipros - It's the same with breast examinations.
They nead them like they're a lump of dough. It's about as sexual as being slapped across the face with a wet fish.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 10:31, Reply)

hello my lady blouse, Mrs Bin et al
*checks self*

yes, about as unspluffed as its possible to be.

*cries*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 10:33, Reply)

O NOES!
Quick, load the spluff cannon!

_{I would but I have to refrain from that kind of activity at the moment, according to nhs direct}
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 10:39, Reply)

Not wating to get all 'us girls have it so bad' but
having a bloke looking at your nads cannot be worse that having a smear.

That said when I went for my last one it was about a month ago when it was really hot. The nurse get 'the duck', "I'll just run it under the hot tap to warm it up" and I said "don't bother, it'll be nice cold!" Am I a bit odd?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 21 Aug 2008, 10:39, Reply)

@ Mrs Bin
Aaaargh nooooooooo!

They still use a duck? Haven't they got the nice plastic contraptions where you are? They are much better than the duck.

Don't like the miniature broom they use to do the scraping though. Ugh.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 10:42, Reply)

Hahaha
Not at all.

Although there will come a stage in my life where the Doctor will become less interested in my nads and take an overwhelming interest in my arse.

I dread the prostate exam... ;)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 10:44, Reply)

Oh I don't like that broom thing
It's the jolly way the nurse said "oh, I've made you bleed" that really bothered me.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 21 Aug 2008, 10:45, Reply)

@DiT
Get the girlfriend to get you used to having a finger up your arse *laughs*

Can we stop talking about smear tests. I'm being pestered to get another one and I don't like them : (
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 10:46, Reply)

Good news, bad news
The *good* news is that I've changed my flight at leave Hong Kong tonight at 2315. The bad news is that I'm in economy class (I normally travel premium economy if I'm paying for it or business class if the client's paying for it!).
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 10:46, Reply)

@Ed
Haha! your going to have to sit with the rest of the plebs.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 10:49, Reply)

@ al
I think you got your trajectory all wrong there, old boy.

*adjusts*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 10:54, Reply)

Woo!
Today's my last day in the office 'til Wednesday!
I only just realised that.

So, any bets on the new QOTW?
( Cawl, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 10:54, Reply)

New QOTW
Tell us about your encounters with bank managers
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 10:57, Reply)

New QOTW.
When were you last tired and why.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 10:58, Reply)

Oh dear...
I certainly hope not!
I've only posted one answer to the QOTW this week, and that was a re-post from Tales Of The Unexplained.
( Cawl, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 10:58, Reply)

I haven't read any of the QOtW past the first page
So thanks to all the people that did and have picked out the best stuff for me to read later.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 11:01, Reply)

Her Doktor is in!
@DiT as others have said "Get thee to a doctor" I'm sure everything will be ok!

@Ed Good news on getting out early, pity you have to sit in economy though, but things could be worse, you coul'd have not gotten out!

@Everyone else Good Morning B3taland!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 11:01, Reply)

@ al
not to worry. I've got the Black Russian to keep me going.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 11:05, Reply)

@Al
You cannon just needs a good rub with some grease.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 11:05, Reply)

DiT Presents
The Gonad Report

I have found, after much ringing around, a Doctor whom I can register with.

But not today, they're closed. And fully booked tomorrow. And closed on Saturday and Monday.

So I shall go there on Tuesday, nuts in hand, and get myself looked over!

/report ends.



Thanks al, I'm gonna need that tissue. Man, this is never gonna come out. *wipes*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 11:16, Reply)

@DIT
a colleague of mine just referred to a clients 'unit holding'- reminded me of you.

Just tryin ta lighten the load, lad! (Not offering a hand job).
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 11:18, Reply)

@ Devil
Good!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 11:23, Reply)

DiT as promised


And a hug *hugs*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 11:32, Reply)

Good luck DiT & Vipros
Always worth getting an unfamiliar lump checked out.

Without lowering the tone too much, are we talking about lymph nodes in the groin?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 21 Aug 2008, 11:37, Reply)

^^without lowering the tone too much
*laughs*

Would that be possible?
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 11:40, Reply)

Mine was a few years ago now
was some of cartiledge type lump attached to a tube in there or something

it's actually gone now, which is nice.

part of the problem I had at the time was that I was stressed, and unwell with something that made my hips, and by connection my balls, ache

compounded the worry
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 11:41, Reply)

9 times out of then?
Kaol you're fired!

Sorry it's like a game now *jumps in glee*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 11:42, Reply)

Erm...
I confess to being entirely ignorant (which is bad form, I know) to this whole thing.

But brief googling would suggest that as the lump is located in the testicle region, and not at the top of my groin, it is not a lymph node swollen.

But then I could be hugely, disasterously wrong...

EDIT: Thanks for the Buttons and the Hugs, TGB! :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 11:44, Reply)

The Grammar Badger - Better than spell-check
*grins*
( Cawl, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 11:44, Reply)

Good morning
@DiT:
Do get it checked out.

Re doctors: Your choice of which one to register with is limited by your postcode. I used to live on the boundry of my postcode, and my commute to work passed straight past a health centre, but I wasn't allowed to register there. Instead, had to register at a differnet one that was perpendicular to my commmute to work and had shorter opening hours, but on the plus side, I had an excuse for missing work when I had an appointment.

Last place I was in, didn't register until a year after I had moved in, and that was only so I could have some vaccinations for a trip abroad.

Re this week's QOTW: Here's some shameless last-minute post-whoring.

[EDIT: Been badgered into editing this for grammar]
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 11:45, Reply)

It took a lot of effort
To not point out that Mrs Liveinabin used the wrong "you're" earlier oh crap

I can't help myself! It's a disease!
I make a special effort to catch you out though Kaol :p

Oh no Mistaspakkaman used the wrong your too *looks sad*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 11:47, Reply)

Re: Spluff Cannons misfiring
I recently encountered the concept of retrograde ejaculation. Not personally you understand, I work in a hospital and saw it in some poor bastard's notes.

*shudders*

How are things this fine 'ning?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 11:48, Reply)

TGB
I hereby award you the Hat Of Pedantry.

From now on, any time I make a big QOTW post I'm going to send it to you first for proofing.
( Cawl, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 11:49, Reply)

*wears hat*
Thanks :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 11:51, Reply)

No I haven't Al.
But I have admired her respect of commas from afar.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 11:54, Reply)

I'm not registered
With a doctor.
Last time I did, I nearly got sectioned.

So... I'll take liberty over medical care.

Also, if something's properly bad, I guess I'll just go to the hospital.
( Cawl, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 11:54, Reply)

@ Al
Yes, yes it is.

*cries*

I hate the Urology department.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 11:54, Reply)

Oh noes!
Been badgered into editing my last post for grammar.

Greetings WGW:
Or is is where the ejaculation mechanism is installed backwards?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 11:54, Reply)

Spakka
I don't think the "mechanism" can be backwards, it's more of a problem with the direction of the waves of muscle contractions.

(I think)...
( Cawl, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 11:57, Reply)

I'm registered with a doc
at my local health centre and have been for a year or so

it's rare that I've had to go to the doc until recently with ear infections and stuff.

never actually met my doctor though, because I can never get an appointment with the bastard.

I've seen every other bugger who works there though

I'm just pleased that my company pays for bupa in case something really goes wrong...

edit: btw, check out the new image compo if you haven't already. I like it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 11:57, Reply)

*grins*
Mistaspakkaman don't you feel better now your post is grammatically correct! No? Oh well I do :D

My Mum used to spell I'm "I'me" where the hell did she get that e from?! And you all have my Dad to blame for my grammar Nazi-ness as he actually made me read the dictionary when I was little for incorrectly saying "Will you learn me how to ride". Which also spawned my hatred of incorrect uses of the word ironic.

.....god my life is sad.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:00, Reply)

@Kaol
I've occasionally heard of people being born with backwards or mirrored body parts, so a backwards ejaculation mechanism might just have happened. But if the muscle contraction waves are backwards, then something must be backwards.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:00, Reply)

I quite like the idea of backwards ejaculation.
Less mess.
( thealternativefact, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:00, Reply)

Less mess, Clenderton?
Less external mess maybe, but I can't imagine anyone describing a bladder full of slowly congealing spongle as tidy.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:02, Reply)

@clenderopholous
would it not go out your pooper though?
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:02, Reply)

@clendrix
But all the internal buildup of mess will lead to increased preassure which will have catastrophic consequences. Either that or they'll end up looking like a certain character from Viz.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:03, Reply)

It doen't have to be "backwards" to go in reverse
You can swallow things.
You can be sick.

Same tube, two different mechanisms, one happens all the time, one is a rare event.
( Cawl, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:04, Reply)

@baz
That would only happen with an extremely powerful forwards-ejaculation mechanism.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:04, Reply)

Less mess
on me.
( thealternativefact, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:05, Reply)

would it start off as highly, toe-curlingly, sex-facingly pleasurable
and slowly subside until you just felt horny?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:06, Reply)

@Tulip
That would only happen if the flow of time was reversed, but then, the body-parts would have to be installed normally.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:07, Reply)

Maybe that will be the new QOTW
Bodily fluids you would like to reverse the direction of.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:09, Reply)

@ spakka
oh. why?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:12, Reply)

@TGB
Bukkake pr0n will never be the same again.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:13, Reply)

@Spakka I'm sure new, equally depreived porn
will be conceived to replace it!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:16, Reply)

Al
Alas, nowhere near as frequently as I would like.

TBH, the mess is part of the fun, really.
( thealternativefact, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:25, Reply)

.
@Tulip
That's like an orgasm and it's build-up with the time reversed. When feeling bored, you spontaneously achieve an orgasm, and after that, feel fustrated and horny.

@TGB:
I have visions of some Jizz-soaked girl where men are rubbing the tips of their cocks on her and sucking up the spunk with their pink love-hoovers.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:25, Reply)

*shudders*
Spak, you've weirded me out...
( Cawl, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:27, Reply)

100
Woo!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:27, Reply)

eewwww!
naughty step for you, spakka.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:28, Reply)

Spak
I thought your post-whoring was the worst thing you'd done today, but that last one could top it.
( thealternativefact, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:28, Reply)

I've weirded out Kaol
Now, I feel honoured.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:29, Reply)

'Ning Clenny and the gang
and a special Hi to Kaol ;-)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:29, Reply)

Walking into this thread right now...
...makes me feel like I've just wandered into a public lav and found a bunch of blokes knocking one out over weird pron.

*awkward*

Erm, morning all... Nice day?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:30, Reply)

'ning Ethelred & PJM
@clendertronix
But I'm only starting to explore the possibilities for pr0n if time could be reversed.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:32, Reply)

Eh?
Why do I get a special "Hi"?
Because I'm fucking awesome?

EDIT: Hi PJM!
( Cawl, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:33, Reply)

@Spak
OK, well carry on with that instead of the whoring then.

Ethel! Hello ! Tell us something outrageous.
( thealternativefact, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:34, Reply)

@ SpakkyGoat
Hmm, some things are just left to 8MM style back-room antics, rather than public exposure.

(There are far too many double-meanings in there, so don't bother pointing them out)

@ clenny, Outrageous?

Erm, I was a proper dirty stop out yesterday, 5:10am start, got in at 1:34am this morning.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:34, Reply)

Anywho....
What's this weird new friends activity thing? Or has it been up there all along and I didn't notice?

Spakka that is very depraved new porn you created. Well done.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:37, Reply)

1.34am
That's terribly precise - I'm impressed. I can barely focus on the clock if I arrive home at that time.
( thealternativefact, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:38, Reply)

Reverse temporal pr0n
I was starting to think of white vomitting, but it reminded me of this, so had to stop.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:38, Reply)

There is no way
I am clicking that link.

*tries to resist*

Damn you morbid curiosity!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:40, Reply)

@TGB
It's been there a while!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:42, Reply)

Two girls one cup
would have to be renamed "One cup two girls" if time were reversed.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:45, Reply)

A while as in..
an hour? Or several days?

I'm really blind sometimes... I was probably distracted by some bad grammar...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:45, Reply)

TGB
Couple of months :p
( Cawl, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:47, Reply)

I think more like...
several months... ;)

There is a film coming out called 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button' that is about a man who lives his life in reverse (in that he's born old and gets younger). Looks like an interesting flick!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:47, Reply)

@ Clenny
I wasn't drunk, I was just tired. Rolled in the door thinking "sleep" and glanced at the clock. 1:34 was the time.

I just like to be accurate with my explanations.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:48, Reply)

Friends' Activity
I didn't notice that until I got my first fan. Is this something the site designers forgot about, or is it deliberate like some sort of viral thing - you only have access to the Friends' Activity page once you've earned a fan.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:49, Reply)

Out of interest, how many fans
Do people have?

I've got 43.
Dunno if that's a few or a lot, I've not got anything else to compare to.
( Cawl, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:52, Reply)

@spakka
Ahhh that makes sense. Woo not blind!

Yes Kaol that's a lot. Well a lot more than me. :( I may have to start whoring myself out more to attract new friends.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:53, Reply)

Poor little me
I only have 5 fans ;(

BooHoo.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:56, Reply)

is it really bad then
that I only have one? :(
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:57, Reply)

I have 42
Which is a good number, I think.

'lo everyone.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:59, Reply)

Really cool people
Have less than 10 because they don't need validation of others to support their self worth.

....or something
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 12:59, Reply)

I have 4 fans
I rock.

That is all.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:01, Reply)

Oh...
I wasn't expecting this to happen...
I thought I'd be somewhere near the bottom of the list...

Oh, lunch!

EDIT: 44 now, someone just added me :D
( Cawl, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:01, Reply)

I've got 37 fans
but the majority of them I made a friend first.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:01, Reply)

I've got 37
But it's not about quantity, it's about quality. :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:02, Reply)

I've got 36 fans
and 39 friends.

yay, friends!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:02, Reply)

I've got
11 fans and 11 friends.
They're all the same people.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:03, Reply)

@ al
yay!

can we have a badge?!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:04, Reply)

can you be your own fan?
*oscillates wildly*
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:04, Reply)

Ooo....
I've got 35.

*edit*

37!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:05, Reply)

How do you
become a fan of someone?
Never figured that out.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:05, Reply)

You can indeed be your own fan!
I know I am.
( Cawl, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:05, Reply)

@DiT
But we're all b3tans, so our fans are all quality fans.

BTW. My friends count is 41.

EDIT: @BK: Just make them your friend.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:06, Reply)

'lo al
I'm fine and dandy thanks, and looking forward to the weekend muchly. And then having next week off.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:06, Reply)

I used to like John Deere
but now I'm an extractor fan!

ba-DOOM, tish.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:07, Reply)

Yey I have 6 fans now.
50% increase in 5 minutes, beat that!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:07, Reply)

Is it really about quality?
Well then I win obviously as I have you DiT :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:07, Reply)

@bk
but your my fan already :)
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:08, Reply)

Top tip:
If you want more fans, make more people your friends.
My fan #38 has just learned this.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:10, Reply)

*wins*
I have 45 friends.

The most friends I have ever had in the whole of my life at one time.

I think I'm going to cry.

Edit - I now have 51...I think I shall stop now or else my christmas card list will be too expensive.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:10, Reply)

cheers spakka
As easy as that.

@weekirst
Yes I am:)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:11, Reply)

yeah, but
I now have 41 friends and 37 fans. this means that 4 people don't love me back. meanies.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:13, Reply)

I am trying to limit myself
To "friending" people I have actually spoke to on here or really enjoy reading their stuff... but it's kinda addicting!

And I can't facebook stalk anymore so this is a good wean.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:13, Reply)

Wha?
I've just discovered that you can make people who you've got on ignore your friends...

No names mentioned but a couple of the talk trollers might well be confused if I misclick.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:14, Reply)

@bk
Aww shucks thanks!
*goes red, looks at the ground, rubs shoe in the dirt*
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:14, Reply)

TGB
Facebook is great.

Loads of people from school have added me, and I just don't recognise them as they've been married/divorced/changed gender so changed name!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:15, Reply)

*looks at number of fans*
definitely about quality
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:15, Reply)

Facebook sucks
I had a wallfull of people who were writing "Oh TGB it's been so long lets meet for coffee one lunchtime" and me TEXTING them saying great I work in town let me know what day works and never hearing back from them.

Because they are all fakers and I am actually quite angry about a lot of things so called friends have done recently which sucks because I was in a good mood earlier :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:19, Reply)

TGB
Oh, I would be your friend, but I don't live near enough to pop into town for a coffee :(

(make it a doughnut too an I might be tempted)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:21, Reply)

@ TGB
Yeah, facebook is really annoying. Every time I log in I get "notifications" from people who want me to be a pirate or a vampire or other such wanky nonsense.

On the other hand, it's great for staying in touch with friends who are scattered about the place like seed on a birdtable.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:22, Reply)

Whoot whoot!
I'm up to 4
go me! :)
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:22, Reply)

Good afternoon one and all
I saw the bit about fans and friends - I love that button Friends' Activity - it's how I keep up to date with the good stuff on b3ta.

I'm a fan/friend of 80 82 people....and I have 70 72 fans.

Do I win?

;)
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:24, Reply)

@Chickenlady
Yes you do.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:25, Reply)

I may start handwriting letters to people
Who live far away. I think it's a lost art. My handwriting sucks though I may need to practice...

Everyone likes receiving mail though. I never receive any letters.

Right just need to get peoples addresses now.

edit: I think you win by a country mile Chickenlady!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:25, Reply)

@tgb
Baz
1 baz mansions
bazrisinossory
Ireland (bazland)
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:28, Reply)

^
hlt
69 Cake Avenue
Fluffehland
Kittenshire
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:31, Reply)

221b Baker St
Laaahndaaahn

*remembers that Kaol has his real address*

*worrieds*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:32, Reply)

Clendrix
Under a tree
In the Park
( thealternativefact, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:33, Reply)

oh noes
What have I started!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:34, Reply)

Chickenlady
Hen House Towers
Coopville
Poultryshire
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:34, Reply)

Ethelred
In a bush in Clenny's park
Watching Clenny Close
Scaryness
F1 UFF3
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:36, Reply)

@ al
i KNEW you would get that. you bad boy.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:37, Reply)

@Miss Grammar
Miss Blouse
No 1
Where the wild things are
The North
Uk
Europe
The world
The universe
The end
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:37, Reply)

can a clever person what is good at drawing
please draw a big silly b3tamap that we can stick b3tapins in to show where we are?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:38, Reply)

Mine
PJM
The Revolutionary Headquarters
Guy Fawkes Terrace
Bastilleville
Kittenshire
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:39, Reply)

@ PJM
Ooh, ooh, we're in the same county!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:40, Reply)

*spots Ethel*
*shouts 'Ethel, it's no good trying to hide when you're wearing such a lairy dress'*
*sits under tree with Ethel, drinking Special Brew*
( thealternativefact, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:40, Reply)

Gah
I did wonder if my puce outfit would be spotted :(
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:45, Reply)

Late to the party :(
But nonetheless:

Wellgroomedwookiee
An Alcoholic Coma
A Ditch
P15 5ED
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:47, Reply)

^ still well-groomed though
Impressive.
( thealternativefact, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:48, Reply)

Devil In Tights (Thrice Nightly Tightly)
616 Fishnet Boulevard
Hades
The Underworld
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:48, Reply)

Davros' Granddad
Dalek Headquarters
1963 Extermination Boulevard
The Nation Estate
Planet Skaro
DA1 EK5
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:52, Reply)

@HLT ^^^^
Ah, I didn't read yours when I wrote mine...

I'm training a team of ninja kittens to march on the capital and seize power. The country would be so much nicer with kittens in charge.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:52, Reply)

Kaol McWilkins,
The Old Abbatoir,
Deadchurch,
Essex.
KA01 5TAB
( Cawl, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:53, Reply)

@TGB
1,000,000 Not Jumping Over A Cliff
The Icy Wastes
Siberia
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:55, Reply)

TGB has gone quiet
*wonders when letter will arrive*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:56, Reply)

*looks at watch*
*looks hopefully at letterbox*
( Cawl, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:00, Reply)

mmm, Doktor, with le Minge you are really spoiling us
*chortles*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:01, Reply)

@Al
It's to do with the small rodents, but it can be pronounced any way people want.

I think that most people pronounce it your way, and it's a ladybits reference!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:03, Reply)

.
mistaspakkaman
spakk mansions
spakkshire
spakkland

Re b3tamap:
Perhaps we could locate people according to how fluffy they are (the westmost people are the fluffiest people). Not sure what to sort by on the 2nd dimension (north-south) on the map. The map could be decorated with things such as rivers, lakes, mountains, forests, swamps, cake-sculptures, kitten-waterfalls, areas littered with parts of dead hookers, etc.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:03, Reply)

To
oneinthepink
69, Crotchless Avenue,
Pantsville,
West Vagina.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:06, Reply)

@spak
Slight flaw in the plan....

I am westernmost on these isles of any and I, whilst physically quite fluffy, am fluffeh -free.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:08, Reply)

Hmmm...
Spak, I feel a QOTW OT challenge coming on...

I'm gonna be away 'til Tuesday.
I've got an idea though.
( Cawl, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:09, Reply)

@Vipros
I like it. You've just made me snort coffee all over my keyboard.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:09, Reply)

glad to hear it
then my work here is complete

*adopts noble pose while waiting to be beamed back to mothership*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:10, Reply)

I shall be even wester
by tomorrow night and am not fluffy of nature.
Unless hair is included.
Stupid hair.
*continues with usual whine*
( thealternativefact, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:11, Reply)

Vipros
Keep away from my mother's hip.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:11, Reply)

It is possible to create a new map in Google Maps
Some time back the Telegraph (I think) put up one on their website for people to post how much petrol was costing them...it got linked to on b3ta (I think it was Legless that did it!) and within hours it was taken down...That wasn't Legless's doing - some of the more 'immature' members decided to paste up pictures from 2 girls 1 cup. Nice.

However, the potential is there to put in daft stuff - someone added vikings, magenta cdcs, a Free Tibet label (to which I added, With every 10 litres) and other such stuff.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:12, Reply)

@Ethel
*takes his turn to snort coke over keyboard*

(the drink, going out of nose, rather than powder coming in)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:13, Reply)

Uncharacteristically I was working
I would be far east coast then I don't like cats

*gets coat*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:15, Reply)

I'd be so far East
I'd fall of the edge.
I do not like this fluffy nonsense.

Animals are for fucking/eating/cutting up. Not going all silly over.
( Cawl, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:16, Reply)

I'm not a huge fan of cats either
unless they look like hitler

other peoples cats are fun to play with for a bit, but dogs are far superior.

I'm tempted to get a ferret though, until I move to the country, where I plan to have dogs, and a duck and a goose

called Duck Norris and Goose Lee
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:16, Reply)

*Returns with head hanging in shame*
I'm very sorry I used the wrong you're. I know better and it was a sloppy error.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:17, Reply)

@Kaol
I too want to draw a map of b3taland but will myself be away until next Thursday.

BTW: If anyone wants to see an example of my own strange-map drawing skills, gaz me.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:18, Reply)

@Vipros
Those names are awesome!

@Kaol Glad to see I won't be alone on the East Coast!

@Mrs L As a first time offender I'll let you off ;)

@Spakka I do want to see your maps but am too lazy to gaz. What are my alternatives?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:19, Reply)

Thank you GB
Looking back through the conversation I missed, did we ever find out how to become some ones fan? I have 9 and would like to return the favour.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:22, Reply)

@Vipros
Ferrets are one of the coolest of pets, so intelligent and inquisitive. I've got 5 of them and I love em.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:23, Reply)

Argh!
Every fucking Thursday at about 2pm this happens...

Let's get this straight:

'LAST' POSTS ARE FUCKING BORING AND STUPID. STOP.

(This applies to none of you, seems some people just log in on a Thursday to piss me off!)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:23, Reply)

@mrslivinabin
Do you not just be their friend?
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:24, Reply)

DiT
I log in every day to piss you off.
You seem to have mistaken my hatred for dry wit though...
( Cawl, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:24, Reply)

^Well, thank you!
:(
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:25, Reply)

@Weekirst
I have no idea. I thought that was the case but then why do I have fans and friends who are the same people?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:26, Reply)

Yar
I've got ferrets too, they're 'kin ace.
I have got them to walk to heel around the garden now.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:27, Reply)

Sorry DiT...
Couldn't resist...
:p
( Cawl, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:27, Reply)

@mrs
in that case, I have no idea. Feel a bit like a muppet :( hahaha!
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:29, Reply)

@Weekirst
I have just added you as a friend. If I show up as a fan then we will know how it works!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:32, Reply)

@mrs
It worked!
Huzzah!
*does a little victory/happy dance*
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:33, Reply)

@Weekirst
See team work, or some other shit.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:35, Reply)

More b3taland map ideas.
I've thought that the North-South axis would measure intelligence.

In the North-East of the map would be a dark mountain range. The mouintains would extend westwards (when they are no longer dark and contain more vegetation) and southwards. At the foot of the mountain range just beyond the river in the west of the map is cake-land where everything is make of cake, the trees look like sweets, etc. The coast would be on the South, and in the South-East corner, we would have the Sea of Trolls. The centre of the map would contain a huge clock-tower that chimes every Wednesday at 4pm.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:36, Reply)

@spak
In the sea of trolls a little island called /talk ?
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:39, Reply)

Shouldn't it be a
Cock Tower? You know, a giant CDC with a clock face on the end?

Also, I'm not sure our northern chums will like being in the wastelands...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:42, Reply)

I am so moving to cake land!
Why the hell hasn't the QOTW changed I have been tempting it by going off and working
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:44, Reply)

Right, the sun
is out for the first time in 3 weeks. I'm off to sit in the garden.

While I'm gone the rest of you could run a sweepstake about how long it will be before it clouds over and I come back in.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:53, Reply)

It's already cloudy where I am...
So by calculating relative position and windspeed I say...

20 minutes.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:55, Reply)

.
@TGB: The alternative is that I answer your plea and Gaz you (which is what I did).

@Mrs. L:
To become someone's fan, just make them your friend. To make a new friend, click the "Friends' Activity" link, then the "add more friends" link, and type out part (or all) of their username and press 'Go'. It should present a list of users with "clear, ignore, friend" radioboxes. Press the 'friend' radiobox and 'update' to make them a friend. There's currently a bug where if the username contains punctuation, you get an error-message. To work round the bug, type a part of the username without the punctuation, and instead of the error, you'll get a list of users including ones with the punctuation.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:56, Reply)

.
@DiT:
Wasteland (mountainous or otherwise) will only be in the East. In the North-West, the mountains will be lush and full of vegetation.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:07, Reply)

Right!
Who had ten minutes?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:13, Reply)

It's pissing it down with rain here now :(
So you'll probably get that in 10 minutes too :( Stupid British weather
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:15, Reply)

Glorious sunshine here...
The crackheads are out in full force! Bless 'em, shambling around. It's like a George Romero film out there...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:17, Reply)

I can't complain too much
I did spend the last two weeks of July sitting in the garden.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:17, Reply)