I love Mondays, me.
Who had a nice weekend? I had a few ales on Friday night but other than that was a bit quiet. *secretbayshlols*

alt: I am going to the States in less than 3 weeks. When is everyone on hols?

altalt: YM takes two bottles into the shower.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:17, 136 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

I was at work until nearly midnight on friday
Then I had to stay up until 1.30 to wait fir the world's most pissed man. WHOSE FAULT WAS THAT, eh??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:19, Reply)

His?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:21, Reply)

I blame his master

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:23, Reply)

goooood homunculus

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:26, Reply)

Alright Barbara Woodhouse.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:26, Reply)

We were trying sit on command but he got confused.
Bloody hell! Nutella all over the place.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:32, Reply)

i ca
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:33, Reply)

He showed me a photo of you with some great ginger beast who made you look like a homunculus

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:39, Reply)

The skinny bird?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:40, Reply)

No, some bloke!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:54, Reply)

the barmaid who humours him then goes home and showers?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:51, Reply)

You're just jealous.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:05, Reply)

Quiet night on Friday. Very good day with micro & my parents on Saturday. National History museum and arts & crafts at home yesterday, followed by cider.
Alt: India at Christmas.

AltAlt: MM says hi.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:22, Reply)

Well this weekend was a celebration of my towns most famous son and the inventor of the steam locomotive.
So everyone got pissed up and trashed the plane in his memory.

Alt. Every day is a holiday in sunny Cornwall (and you can't say it isn't or you're a racist)

AltAlt. You take several bottles in to the shower you massive alcoholic.
( Peej, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:23, Reply)

Carrot in your pasty?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:27, Reply)

threw away a chance of winning the league against a far weaker team
( Peej, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:28, Reply)

Not lost it yet, if they still win their final two games, can still win it. Unlikely, mind. Still, their 'weaker team' cost how much more than Liverpools?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:30, Reply)

I understand this footballs chat

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:32, Reply)

I'm not sure I do

( Peej, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:34, Reply)

EXCUSES!

( Peej, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:33, Reply)

Works for me!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:45, Reply)

Morning Stunned
Mine was pretty good thanks, few beers and a couple of films on Friday, set up the newest homebrew on Saturday, then went to an all day gig yesterday. Fucking hell, if you lot thought people skipping in a circle was bent, you've never seen 'hardcore dancing'. It's retards swapping between flailing their limbs like an epileptic, to doing (I shit you not) dance routines.

Alt: No idea yet.

AltAlt: No she doesn't.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:26, Reply)

Not all epileptics can dance. I know I can't.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:27, Reply)

Only the black ones can

( Peej, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:28, Reply)

Yer.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:30, Reply)

I believe darth partakes in this style of dance expression

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:30, Reply)

partakes in this style of dance expression takes it up the shitpipe.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:30, Reply)

Whilst in the midst of a hardcore dance routine

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:31, Reply)

does that account for the flailing arms bit?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:31, Reply)

Yer.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:34, Reply)

chicks dig it tho

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:35, Reply)

Only when rocking Issey Miyake

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:37, Reply)

The three wood one?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:38, Reply)

This is awkward
Weekend was "alright" and mainly filled with toddler entertaining activities
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:27, Reply)

Yer

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:30, Reply)

Too true

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:31, Reply)

My motor costs over £80 to fill up with diesel.
The govt are taking the fucking piss.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:34, Reply)

Nearly £100 for mine.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:36, Reply)

It's a liberty.
Luckily I won't fill that bad boy again for 3 or 4 months.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:38, Reply)

I do quite a few more miles than you. How many have you put on yours since you got it?
On a completely different subject - are we going camping again at some point this summer?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:44, Reply)

I have only filled the car 6 times since I got it last July.
And I have been to Bristol and Cornwall.

I will have a look at the camping when I get back from the States.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:53, Reply)

You're camp enough darling

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:54, Reply)

Yer. My facial piercings are a bit of a giveaway.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:58, Reply)

It costs me fuck loads more than that if I fill mine up with diesel

( Peej, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:37, Reply)

Tractors have much bigger tanks, though

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:39, Reply)

*combineharvesterlols*

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:39, Reply)

Well no its not a tractor
It just runs on petrol.
( Peej, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:42, Reply)

Mine's about £90
For which it does about 280 miles. Fucking robbing cunts.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:38, Reply)

Mine does 600.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:39, Reply)

Yep
My dad's is well over £100 to fill, but does about the same. Sigh. It's lucky mine's so purty.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:39, Reply)

That's crazy. Mine is about £60 and will get you over 500 miles on that.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:31, Reply)

oh i meant the same as stunned's
it does about 500-600 to a tank, i think. it's a cayenne, which i thought i'd HATE, but secretly i love driving a 4x4. NEVER EVER in london though. strictly for cheshire only.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:49, Reply)

Blimey, you got a hole in the tank?
Mine does 200 on £30 worth, and it's a full size family car
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:40, Reply)

sports car innit
it is a lovely drive, but utterly impractical. i can't even fit my suitcase in the boot (although this may also be because my suitcase is huge, shiny, pink [so i see it on the carousel easily] and impractical)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:47, Reply)

Morning
I had a lovely weekend, ta. I won't bore you with the mundane details.

Alt: First proper holiday is at Whitsun.

Altalt: That's not a question.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:49, Reply)

bought a car
means we can't afford to do the garden this year. Gutted.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:51, Reply)

What did you get?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:51, Reply)

a car

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:53, Reply)

Better that than a yurt.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 8:57, Reply)

2009 Fiesta zetec
Bluetooth, AC, the works. Way nicer than the old one.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:08, Reply)

That's a bird's car.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:09, Reply)

Well it is my wife's really
so that makes sense
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:12, Reply)

I have one of them.
What colour did you get?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:29, Reply)

silver

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:36, Reply)

Mines red. So it goes faster.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:36, Reply)

that's true that is

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:37, Reply)

I hope you have many happy years of motoring ahead.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:39, Reply)

Thought you were going to buy a Focus?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:42, Reply)

I did, but three years before I bought the focus I bought a fiesta.
I still have the fiesta, as well as the focus. I own two cars. I'm very posh.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:43, Reply)

Oooh. Get you!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:45, Reply)

Nothing say elegant opulence like a ford focus estate.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:46, Reply)

strikethrough "very posh"
replace with infinite variety of words. settle for "a cunt".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:46, Reply)

I had a dream last night that we finally got together.
It was before I was married though, so splitting up with the mrs was a lot less hassle.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:47, Reply)

oh man
what were we doing? arguing about politics and throwing homegrown carrots at each other?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:48, Reply)

It was one of those really weird dreams that made sense at teh time but when you try and analyse it just seems absurd
There was some kind of alice in wonderland theme running through it and there was a tree house and some abandoned industrial buildings and I had trouble reversing my car.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:50, Reply)

so basically, we were living in gonz's new office

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:52, Reply)

And we totally did it, though we both seemed a little dissapointed and then I had to go and find the mrs and tell her
and then I think I was being shot at by someone.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:52, Reply)

you wouldn't have been disappointed, i'm fucking excellent
i suspect i may well have been reduced to one of the homegrown carrots after you left, however
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:54, Reply)

End of the month, family thing in Devon, or Dorset, or somewhere six-toed, anyway. I shall be taking the rifle.
First full week at work in about a month starts today. Not too keen on it.

I am trying to decide whether to pull a Windy and go back to school, or not.
( Kroney, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:27, Reply)

I think i've upset Gonz by saying that all his friends who vote UKIP are stupid.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:32, Reply)

Well they are.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:33, Reply)

Meh. You're correct.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:34, Reply)

I know that, but he seems cross, and I don't like Gonz being cross with me.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:37, Reply)

He'll get over it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:41, Reply)

so let them waste their votes, meh
most people are fucking stupid
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:45, Reply)

I guess the argument is that a lot of people are "wasting their votes"
and that this adds up to a sizeable number of people voting for one party because of one issue.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:47, Reply)

i just feel that whoever gets in will be a twat surrounded by a lot of other twats
and whoever doesn't get in will also be a twat.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:48, Reply)

It's the fact that people are voting for a party that says "No Europe"
but then doesn't actually do anything while in power to get the UK out of Europe.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:51, Reply)

if you asked them why they want out of europe, i'm sure you'd get a coherent and well-reasoned answer
and not just "it costs a fortune" and "eastern european immigrants".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:53, Reply)

I saw that. Voting UKIP is indefensible.
But you know what his problem with it actually was. It wasn't you saying that it was a stupid thing to do, it was pointing it out on his profile where they can all see it.
( Kroney, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:53, Reply)

Exactly....In the last few months I've had to, because of people from here...
- Potentially explain to my new colleagues and bosses on my second day of work,
- - "Why your friends think we're all douchbag hipsters",
- - "Why your friends say we take [snazzy offices/lavish working coniditions] out of your wages/pay"
- - "Why your friends say we are incompetant in our buisness/job"

- I've had close personal friends and family come up and say to me
- - "Why do your friends consider me an idiot for believing in god/religion/jesus/etc"
- - "Why do your friends despise me because of my beliefs?"

- I've had close personal friends and family, who are just frustrated with how they see the country run so currently believe UKIP have the right answers....
- - [pretty much the above but with politics]


Plus the general, and Al isn't as guilty in this as others, not even close,
- "Why are your friends so condisending?",
- "how the hell do you know these people anyway?",
- "Why don't you just delete them if you don't know them?"
- "Why do you let them speak to you like that?"

What people say on their own walls or in public, is nobody's buisness. What people say on my wall, people I know offline inevitably ask me questions about.

It's bullying, if not of me then of my friends. Al's the last in the line to do it, and is the least guilty of the people who have done it.

Would any single person here tollerate me speaking in condensending tones about your friends/family or even aquantances on your walls?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:32, Reply)

Nope, I'd bin you off.
Facebook's not the appropriate place for that sort of conversation.
( Kroney, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:34, Reply)

Thank you.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:54, Reply)

it seemed to me that the point was
would you ditch friends and family because they had one thing you disagreed with? and then it got twisted like a pretzel. that chris chap either doesn't have any friends, or is kidding himself about how he would react.

mmmmmm. pretzels.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:36, Reply)

Do you mean actual doughy big pretzels or the little crunchy ones you get in packets
because they're both great tbh
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:38, Reply)

mostly i mean snyders
have you had them yet? if not, i will post you a packet of each flavour, for you to worship at the snyders altar with me and gonz
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:59, Reply)

I'd take quite good pleasure in you telling him that.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:54, Reply)

Gonz you know I wouldn't want to offend or upset you.
and I'm sorry if that "Timefor Achange" person is a close personal friend, but they have demonstrated time and again that they are a spectacularly ill informed idiot.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:02, Reply)

And I'm sorry I reacted so strongly. It is a situation that really, really frustrates me.
People are being led to believe that voting for UKIP is a vote for something, without ever being told what that thing is. And it's why the party is full of racists, so a vote for UKIP is a vote in favour of a party full of racists, and people ought to be made aware of just how stupid it is to vote for a party with no policies, a lot of whom are not just a bit racist behind closed doors (which would be bad enough) but actively spout their repugnant views in public and then claim they are the ones being bullied.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:05, Reply)

I'm voting UKIP
They came over and we chatted about policies that mean a lot to me and they are the only party that have agreed to make book throwing and carrots in pastys illegal.
( Peej, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:18, Reply)

They don't have any policies other than "we don't like them furrins"
I can see them going down well in the newly internationally confident Kernow.
( Kroney, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:27, Reply)

I think that's a policy we can all get behind.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:43, Reply)

There's a good article on the BBC at the moment
Nick Griffin's all "UKIP are nicking our ideas :("
( Kroney, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:44, Reply)

Didn't the money guy from BNP basically start the mudkips? Irish fella or something.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:56, Reply)

I think it's extraordinary how all these racist people turn up in UKIP
And how Farage is always so bewildered by it. Poor man.
( Kroney, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 11:06, Reply)

Mine was a bit meh, truth be told
Alt:

None booked at the moment

AltAlt:
One for each hole
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:39, Reply)

We kind of found a house and had an offer accepted, but it's dependant on some other stuff happening
so I can't really get excited. Which is a bit meh.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:42, Reply)

Still better than not finding a house

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:52, Reply)

Did you sort your tenants out?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:52, Reply)

He was all apologies when I got there

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:54, Reply)

Yeah. If it works out it's great.
but if it falls through then we'll lose a few weeks of looking at other possibilties.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:53, Reply)

Keep looking anyway
You can always withdraw your offer
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:54, Reply)

^ this ^
you might see something even better anyway
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:55, Reply)

I'm not sure we could, it pretty much ticked every box possilbe
except for the front of the house not looking as nice as we would like. But the location is great, the garden backs onto a wood, and it already has planning permission for a two storey extension should you want to do that.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 9:58, Reply)

Who cares what the front looks like then?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:05, Reply)

That's what we thought.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:09, Reply)

We had two viewings on our other house on Saturday
*fingers crossed*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:13, Reply)

Since I started drinking Beroca every morning I've really been looking forward to the first wee of the day.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:16, Reply)

Have beetroot for lunch
Rainbow piss
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:16, Reply)

And blue Powerade in the afternoon.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:18, Reply)

Red and yellow and pink and green
I can piss a rainbow, piss a rainbow, piss a rainbow too
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:22, Reply)

Glisten on your eye

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:22, Reply)

I'm tempted to teach micro to sing that, just to annoy her mother.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:23, Reply)

And "I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves etc"

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:40, Reply)

My boss and a colleague have been screaming at each other in his office
for over an hour.

There's crying and everything.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:22, Reply)

Our father....

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:25, Reply)

it's probably about which one has to bum you

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:37, Reply)

+ again.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:39, Reply)

Never gonna happen!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:41, Reply)

+ again

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:43, Reply)

once bitten, utterly shitten.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:47, Reply)

Whilst waiting for my interview the other day I overheard a workplace counselling session
Lots of crying and swearing. It was great, she was crying because her boss gets pissed of with her leaving shit all over the office but he leaves his stuff there too. Suck it up bitch, he's the boss!
( Peej, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:57, Reply)

Much the same thing was going on here.
Crying because he doesn't treat anyone else like that.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 10:58, Reply)