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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Bad, working Sat anf Sun morning as we are 7 days a week now. Good. less time with sister in law.
Tell of your mixed blessings. Gentle poster.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 7:30, 153 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
Good: I have nyommy baconz
Bad: I have to cook it outside on a 'camping fax stove' and use my own plastic plate and my bloobloo tears are making the bacon even saltier
:'('''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

I WISH I WAS DEAD I HATE YOU ALL
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 7:43, Reply)
Alfresco making a point is the new black, frog.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 7:50, Reply)
No, Jew is the new black stupid.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:03, Reply)
Jew really mean that?

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:05, Reply)
Good - I am working at our head office today so no ludicrous mileage today
Bad - I will be rewriting six pages of technical bollocks for our web page. I'll probably go postal by lunchtime so, if you hear of a police siege with a man who's bludgeoned his co workers to death with a laptop - that'll be me.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 7:56, Reply)
Good: bank holiday coming up
Bad: got parents and I laws over for a bbq
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:01, Reply)
Good: No work today.
Bad: I have a cold.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:07, Reply)
Good: out for beers tonight, got my daughter for the weekend, got some interesting possible work options
Bad: the chip has come out of my debit card, replacement card won't arrive for a few days.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:10, Reply)
morning internet mates!
I got my cat last night, she's lovely.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:12, Reply)
I hope it scratches your piggy eyes.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:14, Reply)
she's not a scratchy cat, soz m8

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:15, Reply)
Not a scratchy cat?
Have you cut its feet off or something?
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:19, Reply)
Is this the new Mrs Dozer?

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:14, Reply)
no, Grace is still Mrs D

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:15, Reply)
Have you bought a little saddle so Grace can ride her?

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:15, Reply)
no
Grace is upstairs in a locked room. I gave her a blueberry this morning.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:16, Reply)
[INSERT 'LOCKED ROOM' JOKE HERE]

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:17, Reply)
I knew you'd be on the 'locked room' train!

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:19, Reply)
Jokes are much funnier when you repeat them loads

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:20, Reply)
it's better when you repeat someone else's joke
2 years 2 late
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:23, Reply)
^upset^

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:27, Reply)
alr

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:37, Reply)
ight

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:37, Reply)
^giving in to inevitable 'will die alone' destiny.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:16, Reply)
how can I be alone when I have a cat, eh?
Explain that one!

Though having said that, I'm sure a walrus is a much better companion than a cat.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:18, Reply)
Wakki^

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:22, Reply)
be better to die alone than what his wife's facing, when you think about it
it must be like being in bed with a really negative piece of string
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:23, Reply)
Bad: I'm on foot around London today.
Good: I've got 2 really easy jobs so lots of slacking off today!
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:12, Reply)
good: i'm on holiday
bad: i have one last job to do, thought i'd draft it on the train down to cornwall. fucking computer will NOT log in remotely, doom.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:19, Reply)
Cornwall?
PORNwall more like
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:22, Reply)
nah
the laptop's not working, i just said!
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:22, Reply)
Holiday?
HoliGAY more like!!!!
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:22, Reply)
Haha, the fun we have.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:29, Reply)
Oh! ha ha, yeah we do man, all day baby, all day.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:30, Reply)
You're coming to Cornwall?
A. Why was my permission not sought?
B. Bloo bloo bloo why don't you want to see me and my sexy brother again?!!
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:24, Reply)
Because I'm coming too, and I don't really like it when she comes home plastered in both yours and your brother's cornish cream

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:29, Reply)
She told me you were coming and promised me I could meet you
LIKE FUCKING PINKIE SWEAR PROMISE!
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:30, Reply)
I asked to meet you and she said we couldn't because she's already met you and doesn't want to ever again

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:31, Reply)
Yeh I pretty much gathered that when she asked me what the fuck I was doing in her bedroom and how did I get in to her flat.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:32, Reply)
This is how she actually met frog.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:36, Reply)
We met on Grindr akshully

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:39, Reply)
This gay gets it.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:42, Reply)
Good: I have been validated on the internet by Randy Quaid
Bad: shoes are a bit tight
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:21, Reply)
Oooo I am actually interested in this.
Please explain your internet validation from Randy Quaid.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:27, Reply)
He favourited a tweet if mine
He's a bit mental
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:46, Reply)
22 followers :(

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:53, Reply)
23 now.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:56, Reply)
So I see, don't think I'll bother making it 24.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:58, Reply)
Are you following me?

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:59, Reply)
Don't think so, I hardly ever look at it really.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:02, Reply)
Join the 10,200 in my flock!

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:05, Reply)
I'm following you now, but not Nakers. I 'unfollowed' Jausum because of all his bullshit, Ape looks fucking worse.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:08, Reply)
:(

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:09, Reply)
HA IN YOUR FACE NAKERS.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:09, Reply)
Not really, I'm totes following you now. I can't wait to see what you tweet next!!!!

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:11, Reply)
yourn a prick i hate you

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:21, Reply)
why? im your friend! i follow you because youre awesome!

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:22, Reply)
Froggie is no-ones friend.
If Froggie were an ice cream flavour,
he'd be pralines and dick.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:29, Reply)
Why is his twitter account locked?
What does he have to hide?
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:30, Reply)
I dunno why that is...I will change it for you.
I don't 'do' tweets so you aren't missing anything anyway.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:32, Reply)
I've no plans to follow you - you don't look very interesting

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:37, Reply)
I'm not, I'm incredibly dull and I don't restrict that to social media.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:40, Reply)
Oh I was going to add you as a friend on facebook, might not bother now

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:42, Reply)
I don't really uae that either, I'll just gaz you my phone number, I use that quite alot for keeping in touch with people

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:43, Reply)
WhatsApp?

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:44, Reply)
I don't really know what that is

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:45, Reply)
Get with the times, grandad

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:46, Reply)
What is that for that's better than just normal texts?

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:47, Reply)
GOD YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING I HATE YOU IM GOING TO MY ROOM

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:48, Reply)
You can come back down when you've remembered how to speak to people nicely.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:51, Reply)
I HATE YOU!!!!!!

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:53, Reply)
Yewtree are after him

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:33, Reply)
It was 24 yesterday I'm shedding internet validation

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:00, Reply)
I might validate you.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:02, Reply)
Come on froggie, make it 25

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:07, Reply)
Okay, done.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:09, Reply)
Lier

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:13, Reply)
Are you the one with the porn-tache?

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:14, Reply)
LEAVE ME ALONE
no, i'm not
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:15, Reply)
Haha, yeah it does look a bit like that in that pic.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:16, Reply)
No one understands my genius
Also; stalker^
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:59, Reply)
Gosh your tweets are even more tragic than jaysum's
At least he's got being a bender as an excuse
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:03, Reply)
It's a long list of someone desperate for attention from 'celebrities'

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:04, Reply)
Why won't they LIKE ME!

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:11, Reply)
Because you are not the real Ben Fogle?

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:12, Reply)
alright Jason

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:57, Reply)
Bad, Swipe hates me when I have literally done NOTHING to her and never internet bullied her even once.
Good, the shares I bought for £5000 back in 2008 have just netted me 2.8 million now the planning permission has finally been granted.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:26, Reply)
List of excuses the BNP use when they lose elections:
www.hopenothate.org.uk/blog/insider/say-goodbye-nick-griffin-3786

Including: Ballot box tampered with: This normally gets tweeted once the BNP scrutinisers realise how few votes they actually have. Normally one of them manages to spot a Jew with his or her hands removing 93% of the votes but they manage to escape before the Aryan guard can catch them. Zionism is like that, apparently. Also, nobody else ever sees the mystery thief-further evidence of the protocols at work.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:35, Reply)
Young bnp lols. What a bunch of cunts.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:39, Reply)
I just got back from voting
That Nigel Farage chap seems to have some really good ideas.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:42, Reply)
I like this one:
Sharia Ballots: White people were unable to vote because they lived in area dominated by Sharia patrols and Taliban militias.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:44, Reply)
Monty wrote that, didn't he?

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:45, Reply)
Taliban militia are crawling suburban Kent, here mate. Killed anyone this month?

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:49, Reply)
The Gurkhas stop anyone from voting for anyone other than those who support their pensions at home.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:55, Reply)
SEE! Latvians are like t3h gays!

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:15, Reply)
HAHA

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:16, Reply)
Seen this?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjbBSLZlpsQ
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:20, Reply)
Bad: had a gig cancelled
Good: going on holiday on Saturday
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:52, Reply)
Did they say your record sales were too poor?

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:58, Reply)
They have no idea how bad they are
We were going to support the lovely James Yorkston, but he decided he'd rather not come here.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:06, Reply)
I'm at work.
I still have a job to go to.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:54, Reply)
Good - It's my birthday week, I'm out with work tonight, and I've got a BBQ on Saturday
Bad - My department head is off, so I'm fucking swamped, I can't eat the steak that I've ordered for tonight, and it's raining on Saturday. To add to this, I've been arguing UKIP with someone overnight.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:11, Reply)
Why does any of that stop you eating a steak??

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:14, Reply)
Arm is still bollocksed.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:21, Reply)
Get that lady of yours to cut it up and feed you.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:23, Reply)
Not a chance, steak is best when fresh cut
I'll do it myself, just going to look a bit of a mong doing so.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:27, Reply)
So you can eat the steak
So stop whining and eat it!
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:29, Reply)
BIRTHDAY CANS!

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:16, Reply)
Payday cans?
GAYday cans more like!!!!
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:17, Reply)
GAYday cans?
GAYGAY cans more like!!!!
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:26, Reply)
gaygay mans more like etc etc

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:46, Reply)
Birthday week?
BirthGAY week more like!!!!!
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:18, Reply)
You're not getting laid again, aren't you?

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:22, Reply)
What do you mean "again"?

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:22, Reply)
Look you post a word that rhymes with gay that happens
So sayeth the lord.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:25, Reply)
So GAYeth the Lord more like!!!!

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:25, Reply)
So sayeth the GAYlord more like!!!

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:26, Reply)
So GAYeth the GAYlord more like!!!

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:26, Reply)
Perfect!

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:27, Reply)
Reading people bleating about parties they don't like on FB.
With stuff like "I'm not going to be your fwiend anymore if you vote for somebody I don't like :( *grumpy pants*"
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:22, Reply)
Someone on facebook said "If you vote UKIP tomorrow then cunt off."
I was going to vote greens or something but me and about 500 of my mates all voted UKIP to spite him.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:24, Reply)
Hahahaha

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:24, Reply)
There's somebody on mine who's been saying stuff like
"if you disagree with such and such tell me so I can unfriend you", or "if you vote such and such, you're a moron".

Don't disagree with his politics as such, but by God quit crying.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:28, Reply)
Gonz has got some chap on his feed who I SWEAR he keeps on just for TROLLOLZ purposes.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:29, Reply)
Who the hell is that time for a change clown, anyway?

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:36, Reply)
Personally, I suspect it's actually Gonz himself.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:38, Reply)
I'd love that.
He does have some remarkably hardline friends and family. Which is odd because I suspect his family might not be Farage's personal bestie favourites.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:43, Reply)
I didn't know you were on my FB, howzaboutthatthen?

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:33, Reply)
I'll probably vote Green or something because I'm a pathetic pinko envirowanker
but I'm not going to bloobloo about all the reactionary halfwits on social media.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:42, Reply)
I'll be voting Lib Dem as usual.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 10:10, Reply)
^euro loving enemy of our great nation^

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 10:12, Reply)
I agree with Nick on everything.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 10:16, Reply)
BAD i have a meeting across town i'd forgotton about! bye everyone!Q

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:30, Reply)
@nakers be sure to tweet us your progress #bentspastic

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:32, Reply)
#blowme

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:36, Reply)
#madeit

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:55, Reply)
@therealnakedape fuk of prik

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:33, Reply)
Bad: mild hangover, have been lazy on the running this week.
Good: going to see a mate's band tonight, beers tomorrow, long weekend, yadda yadda yadda.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:41, Reply)
Tangles gig got cancelled man, you'll have to make other plans

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:44, Reply)
RIP TANGELS

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:49, Reply)
When I say "going to see a mate's band tonight"
I mean "staying in for another cry-wank", obviously.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:49, Reply)
Mixed sportsblessing
Its raining here so daughter drop off at school was quicker. Went for the Metro to find it was terminating three stops earlier due to a fucked train. Fortunately it was cleared before my Metro got there, unlike a colleague on an earlier one who turned up looking like he'd swam to work
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:55, Reply)
CSB

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:55, Reply)
Good: I walked fast and made it to my meeting
Bad: I forgot deodorant this morning
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 10:01, Reply)
urgh.
pikey.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 10:05, Reply)
And now you are posting on b3ta during the meeting?

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 10:10, Reply)
We should probably tweet his employer to tell them

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 10:12, Reply)
Your point being?

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 10:12, Reply)
Commune dwelling benefit fraudsters don't work
So he's on unambiguous moral ground, here
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 10:13, Reply)
Never mind all that, do you want your drive tarmaccing or what?

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 10:14, Reply)
Hi Rory

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 10:18, Reply)
Have we all came to the conclusion you're a huge fake troll yet?
Your moanings are repetitive.
(, Thu 22 May 2014, 10:20, Reply)
cycling Ave.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 10:25, Reply)

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