Its fucking Friday!
I feel rather excellent today. The weather is great and its almost the weekend. How are you planning on celebrating this wonder?

ima get me some posh Scotch eggs at lunchtime
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 9:54, 128 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Payday cans and a burger for tea!!!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 9:55, Reply)

\o/
No beer for me today as I'm out for a run in the morning. Saturday night however is curry time
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:00, Reply)

I might go home at 4 too, for a treat

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:02, Reply)

I'll leave work at 3.30
but I won't be going home
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:03, Reply)

*narrows eyes*
Then...........where?
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:03, Reply)

Oh, don't worry, it's nothing sinister.
Little tangle has a piano lesson every Friday, so I collect him and his sister and then sit in a shit pub for half an hour whilst the lesson takes place.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:07, Reply)

Then the runs on Sunday morning.

( Muns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:02, Reply)

tggi^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:06, Reply)

Probably just dick around on the internet all day, barely noticing the sunshine out of the window behind me

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 9:58, Reply)

We have tinted windows at work so even lovely days look overcast

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:01, Reply)

You pakis will tint anything won't you? Car windows, office blocks....

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:07, Reply)

YESSIR

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:13, Reply)

They just like to look out of the window and think that Caucasian people have been eradicated.

( Muns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:13, Reply)

Work until five, home for six, leave at nine to work again, get home at five, get up at half nine to go to work again for another twelve hours.
Feeling great! :)
( Muns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:01, Reply)

Dangerwank in one of the offices, a half day,
Then garden beers and a spliff.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:02, Reply)

^TGGI

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:03, Reply)

I used to be a security guard in a gatehouse at a factory
I was so bored I took inspiration from just having read 'The Diceman' and would roll a dice with options like 'Raise and lower the barrier five times', 'Spend the rest of the day without trousers', 'Dangerwank' and 'Accidentally set off the fire alarm'. God, that job was boring.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:09, Reply)

Sounds perfect.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:20, Reply)

I'm going to see Godzilla with the family tonight
Followed by a sleepdown movie marathon with the children as it's my second youngest's birthday.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:05, Reply)

Just waiting for doris to get ready and then we're off out
Then dinner tonight. Tomorrow will be spent squeezing some more holiday out of the last day. We were going to be staying until Sunday, but the move means we're powering back Saturday night to give us more time.
( Kroney, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:06, Reply)

Im so tired.
I can smell the weekend though.
Might be nice today but it's going to be pissing it down tomorrow.

I've ordered some party favours for next weekends "hen do" so that will set me back a bit. Might do a bit shopping for some new threads.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:07, Reply)

Making a nice Shepherds pie tonight too. Nom.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:17, Reply)

with lentils?
that's the best sort of shep pie
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:19, Reply)

no, with baby baa lambs
and a spoon of mint sauce in the mash
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:26, Reply)

Yaafi

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:27, Reply)

foodwrong
unless it has sheep in it is not a shepherd's pie
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:35, Reply)

What if it was a cheese and onion pie owned by a person who tends and rears sheep?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:36, Reply)

then it's a shepherd's cheese and onion pie
but if he gives it to a non-shepherd it's just a cheese and onion pie.

You have to appreciate the distinction between ownership and nomenclature.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:43, Reply)

I can appreciate that, if you can appreciate the distinction between nomenclature and folk etymology.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:52, Reply)

Does folk etymology mean lentils?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:54, Reply)

It means that Shepherd's Pie having to contain mutton is a relatively recent definition.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:58, Reply)

This is quite interesting
it seems a version made with lentils would be known as a "shepherdless pie".
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:03, Reply)

I'd probably just call it a lentil pie

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:04, Reply)

Yup.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:06, Reply)

if it doesn't contain peasants it's not a cottage pie

( Kroney, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:37, Reply)

Peasants dont live in cottages these days.
Pull yourself out of the dark ages
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:07, Reply)

I'm playing a gig on Sunday evening, y'know, if any of you happen to be in Birmingham.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:08, Reply)

Can't you play one where people actually, you know, go?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:09, Reply)

No.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:09, Reply)

Good.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:10, Reply)

^ this is how to make it as a musician

( Kroney, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:10, Reply)

Not becoming popular is a good way to stop people from calling you a sell out.

( Muns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:11, Reply)

he won't have money, fame, fans or any sort of industry recognition
but he'll have integrity, man
( Kroney, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:12, Reply)

Look, I'm selling out enough as it is just telling you about this gig, man

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:19, Reply)

I meet a LOT of bands and musicians.
Usually, the ones who have had success are lovely people.*

Those who seek integrity are often fooling themselves and extremely bitter about not getting anywhere.

*Exceptions being pop groups and most R&B artists. These appear to have been taught to have their heads up their own arses from birth.
( Muns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:20, Reply)

I don't meet any
but this would have been my guess
( Kroney, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:22, Reply)

Oh, 'indie' groups are frequently tossers too.

( Muns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:23, Reply)

I'm going to have a nap in the garden in a bit.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:10, Reply)

Make the most of the thunder

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:11, Reply)

Indeed.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:12, Reply)

I think I missed the start of this meme

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:14, Reply)

THUNDER RISE EARLY IN THE MORNING!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:15, Reply)

Still funny.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:18, Reply)

Not just me then

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:27, Reply)

Cheers BTW!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:34, Reply)

No probs mate.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:56, Reply)

i was stuck at work until late last night
i rather thought i might celebrate today by being busy all day and then late again. but on the plus side, champagne trolley at 3.30pm for a colleague who is leaving, and 2 x giant chocolate bars, one banana caramel crisp, and one cola pretzel bar, have been purchased for my team's friday afternoon nibbling pleasure.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:19, Reply)

Banana caramel crisps are fucking NOM

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:34, Reply)

we are comparing them with the cola one
to me, the cola wins. but i am happy to continue the research to its inevitable sticky diabetic conclusion.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:52, Reply)

Work til 5, get the train to Leeds, do fuck all for the weekend
Really looking forward to it(!)

Fuck me, this weekend is going to be boring. The missus is having an open house to try and sell her flat, so all we can do is sit and wait. Can't even go the fucking pub.

Also, pollen can fuck right off.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:35, Reply)

You can go

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:35, Reply)

dunno sounds to me like it's all she can do
Ent ur flat bro
( Kroney, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:36, Reply)

The bitch fit I would get just isn't worth it, sadly.
Plus, her parents are coming round in the evening, which also means that I can't go the pub then, either.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:38, Reply)

Sounds like the are two people here that need to take ownership of their own lives, bro

( Kroney, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:45, Reply)

Is that left and right testicle?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:47, Reply)

It's more a case that this is the only weekend we can see each other until the end of June, so we're just doing that

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:57, Reply)

He-Man!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:38, Reply)

^ she-ra

( Kroney, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:45, Reply)

what's the plan for sat then???

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:50, Reply)

Get drunk. Fall down.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:08, Reply)

Fucks sake - email from Sales
At last year’s Staff Conference we gave you a taste of our annual Customer Conference. This year we’d like to bring you a taste of the annual Gala Dinner that we hold at the Customer Conference.

The Staff Conference will begin at 13:30 with keynote speeches and short presentations, followed by a drinks reception at approximately 16:50.

We will then transport you back to the Wild West with an evening of laughter and amusement at the ‘Saloon’. The Gala Dinner starts at 18:10 and is followed by the usual Staff Awards ceremony. After the awards we get straight into the evening’s entertainment with a professional Line Dancing caller getting us all to the floor for a good old fashioned ‘Hoe Down’. If you prefer, you can take part in a less strenuous activity with one of our side stalls: Tin Can Alley, Quick Draw and Horseshoe Throwing. Finally, you can dance the night away to the disco or simply chat and network with colleagues until 23:00 when the evening ends.

We’ve chosen a fancy dress theme that is easy to dress for (could be as simple as a checked shirt and jeans), but we hope that as many people as possible will enter into the full “spirit” of fancy dress. Don’t forget that the ‘Wild West’ theme can be interpreted in any way you like! You are more than welcome to wear your fancy dress during the day if you wish or simply accessorise for the evening.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:47, Reply)

jesus christ
who comes up with this shit?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:50, Reply)

Trying to get a scouser to wear a shirt
Doomed to failure
( Kroney, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:51, Reply)

Scouser?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:01, Reply)

Sounds like a good night, can I be your plus one?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:52, Reply)

You can be my one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:53, Reply)

FFS
Try complaining that it's racist towards the Native Americans, celebrating their subjugation, something like that?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:52, Reply)

I might just build a casino

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:53, Reply)

subjugating the poon!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:53, Reply)

Sales folk sure are wacky

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:54, Reply)

Black up and go as a cotton picker

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:54, Reply)

Now this is the best suggestion so far

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:56, Reply)

"Don’t forget that the ‘Wild West’ theme can be interpreted in any way you like!"

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:58, Reply)

I can't think of any West that was wilder than Fred.

( Muns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:59, Reply)

Also a good suggestion

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:59, Reply)

hahaha!

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:00, Reply)

He could go as Kanye and interrupt all the awards

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:02, Reply)

Kanye is a way of asking a friend to go to the bar in Newcastle

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:03, Reply)

Yo Sportscow, I’m really happy for you, Imma let you finish, but saying 'your round' is one of the best ways of asking a friend to go to the bar of all time!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:06, Reply)

In Newcastle saying "your round"
usually gets the answer "so are you, fat cunt".
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:07, Reply)

Ye look fuckin' round to me pal

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:07, Reply)

Hmm, it might just work

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:07, Reply)

Provincials make me laugh.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:10, Reply)

You seem pretty desperate for him to black up.

( Muns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:09, Reply)

I just think it's a good idea, nothing weird about that mate.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:14, Reply)

Ellodermon

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:15, Reply)

Alright Chalky

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:17, Reply)

Or a Chinese rail worker

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:05, Reply)

Dress up as Justin Lee Collins.

( Muns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:56, Reply)

Do you want a slaaaaaap?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:09, Reply)

Dirty vile whore

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:15, Reply)

Pretty whore mouth.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:15, Reply)

^^
Shut your pretty little dirty vile whore mouth
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:16, Reply)

I am erect.
Fancy bier skis at 4?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:17, Reply)

Alas no, I need to go down to the seaside tonight, will have to wait until tomorrow :(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:20, Reply)

Will come with.
Follekeystoneylols.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:24, Reply)

Find a religious event on the same day & then say you can't attend the conference as it breaches your religious beliefs.
Guaranteed get out.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:25, Reply)

Like you. Today.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:25, Reply)

^ So lonely

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:27, Reply)

Apology accepted.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 11:32, Reply)