Based on today I think I'm going to take the rest of the week off
Slept in this morning, no coffee, then get to work to have 4 hours of pain with spastic cunts upstairs in development. Now I'm trying to explain to a customer that I actually really did upgreade their systems on Friday - they dont believe me and are complaining that their older version doesnt work any more

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHMBULANCE

How is your week shaping up? I have 200' of fence to chop up tonight for my wood burner and the football to watch tomorrow, though I am missing out on a free meal to do so
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 14:58, 192 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

It's only Monday, crow

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:02, Reply)

I know
Its all gone tits already
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:04, Reply)

I suspect this week will mostly be 'fucking shit' punctuated infrequently by bits that are 'good'.
And I might buy a new bike. And some new trainers.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:02, Reply)

I have purchased a new extension lance (!) for my pressure washer

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:05, Reply)

Woah! Sexeh

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:07, Reply)

15" of black tube for my pleasure

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:08, Reply)

I bought 26" of black inflatable tube yesterday, also for my pleasure

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:09, Reply)

Once you've gone black, etc...

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:15, Reply)

What sort of bike?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:05, Reply)

A road bike. I have a mountain bike and a 'hybrid' (bullshit term) bike, but I'm doing a charity ride and it's a good excuse to buy one.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:06, Reply)

I've got a hybrid. Really should use it more than I do.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:07, Reply)

I went out twice this weekend, I really enjoy it.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:08, Reply)

I need a new bike
My old one is fucked
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:08, Reply)

They tend to be.
Which is how they become known as bikes.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:10, Reply)

oh ho!
Its been sat in the garden since I moved house

THE BIKE TOO!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:14, Reply)

Textbook!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:15, Reply)

No, I keep those indoors
The pages will go all funny otherwise
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:16, Reply)

I'd probably use mine more if I didn't live in London.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:10, Reply)

I have not and do not intend to ride much up here.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:11, Reply)

There's nothing wrong with riding in London
it just makes you go further because you want to make the effort to get somewhere outside the M25.
( Bazongaloid, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:14, Reply)

Also, can you get one on the ride to work scheme?

( Bazongaloid, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:15, Reply)

Maybe, not that bothered though because I won't really ride to work and that's fraud.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:17, Reply)

No it's not.

( Bazongaloid, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:19, Reply)

Yet more cracks in Al's white washed liberal exterior

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:20, Reply)

He's not only asking me to lie, but also my employer :(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:21, Reply)

He's as corrupt and an African 'president'

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:22, Reply)

Given that my boss pays a large chunk of my season ticket, I think asking them to buy me a bike for 'up to £1000' to fictitiously cycle to work on might be a bit suspicious

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:24, Reply)

From folkstobep

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:30, Reply)

"folkstobep"

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:31, Reply)

My favourite dance EVAR!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:34, Reply)

The latest hipster music style?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:35, Reply)

The yurtsmiths new sound innit

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:40, Reply)

THey aren't, you pay for it, you just make a saving on income tx, and they make a saving on national insurance contributions.
Win win.
( Bazongaloid, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:36, Reply)

I dont know how you can sleep at night

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:36, Reply)

Corporate tax avoiders are stealing from our children!
WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!11!
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:40, Reply)

Fat people do suffer badly from sleep aponea

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:41, Reply)

Pretty dishonest, it's the misuse of the cycle to work scheme that caused the recession

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:41, Reply)

You should cycle round and round vauxhall gyratory

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:17, Reply)

Haha London jokes!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:18, Reply)

I'd get one if there wasn't a Barclays Bike stand right outside my flat

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:19, Reply)

Do you use the Boris bikes much?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:19, Reply)

I've done it a few times to and from work
problem is my walking route is all one-way streets so my route home works out about 20% longer on the bike.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:31, Reply)

Aren't berklees screwing them on the sponsorship money now?

( Peej, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:24, Reply)

Trainer chat!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:13, Reply)

I've spent so much of the day pissing about with my phone that I can't really see me doing any work now

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:13, Reply)

I have had fuck all to do all day, boring innit

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:14, Reply)

I'm going out for a bite to eat with the missus after work

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:17, Reply)

Something eating missus out something

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:18, Reply)

That's fine, as long as you don't start calling it 'date night'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:18, Reply)

Thats about all he can eat

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:19, Reply)

lol

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:19, Reply)

Earlybird Monday night discount?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:18, Reply)

I've got vouchers and everything!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:19, Reply)

GUARANTEED HOLE ACTION

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:21, Reply)

The Sri Lankan lead is starting to piss me off now. 277.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:16, Reply)

There's Ceylon way to go yet

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:21, Reply)

Fuck off Jeff.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:29, Reply)

I have itchy eyes

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:18, Reply)

Use bleach to stop it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:18, Reply)

Not sure there is any bleach on this train

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:19, Reply)

That Pakistani chap might have some in his rucksack

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:20, Reply)

Use his nails

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:21, Reply)

Use the fire extinguisher

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:21, Reply)

If you put your head out of the window you can rub them on a passing post?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:24, Reply)

Scratch them.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:18, Reply)

OH GOD THERE IS BLOOD EVERYWHERE

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:19, Reply)

You are now leaving kent, do not pass go, do not collect £200 and don't ever go back

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:21, Reply)

Same old innit. Another nice long weekend coming up though thanks to a lesbian wedding.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:45, Reply)

I'm taking Friday off, think I'll be at Kew gardens for the day, VERY neAR TO KRONEY

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:48, Reply)

There's a Kew Gardens in Lyon?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:49, Reply)

Rory's dead jaisim

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:50, Reply)

git

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:50, Reply)

+ Rory

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:50, Reply)

Jew Gardens in Poland

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:50, Reply)

Better than the one in Auschwitz

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:54, Reply)

I dunno.
The ash has really helped the soil.
( Muns, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:25, Reply)

kew is always too full of plebby tourists
it would be great if they got rid of all the tourists
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 15:54, Reply)

Go in deep enough and it's quieter

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:01, Reply)

When I go in deep enough to YM she's anything but quiet

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:01, Reply)

I think this is relevant to the topic
www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/special-brew-drinkers-life-temporarily-better-than-yours-2014062387902
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:05, Reply)

TRUDAT

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:07, Reply)

Unemployment has hit Darth hard

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:07, Reply)

it's a good argument.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:07, Reply)

Special Brew is fucking grim though

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:09, Reply)

yeah but in Scotland the seasoned alkie gets options like buckfast and MD:20/20

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:21, Reply)

I had some buckfast the other week
Fuck me, that is GRIM
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:22, Reply)

It's good for you though

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:23, Reply)

It didnt taste it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:27, Reply)

when I was university they used to do 3 bottles for a tenner special offer.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:32, Reply)

I finished my job early and am home,
Was going to do some job hunting, but I might follow the example of this hero and have a beer.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:23, Reply)

I'm going to pick mrs tangles up from work, drive to the pub, then make her drive us home.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:24, Reply)

This is why your marriage has lasted so long.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:29, Reply)

Dunno, I might either kill myself
or have a bbq
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:23, Reply)

Invite tramps, do the second one, then the first to feed them.

( Muns, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:24, Reply)

The homeless are lazy cunts by their very nature
There's no way they'd be bothered to butcher then cook me
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:26, Reply)

I'm sure it'd be preferable to eating you raw.
They could even baste you in special brew and £1 bottles of white cider.
( Muns, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:28, Reply)

No argument there

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:36, Reply)

If you choose the former, d'you mind if we have a bbq with your corpse?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:24, Reply)

By all means
I can't abide waste
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:26, Reply)

Are there any bits of you you'd particularly recommend?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:26, Reply)

Thumbs, like little chicken legs

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:31, Reply)

^tggi
Also my back's pretty broad. Must be something there. My thighs would probably roast up nicely too. The only thing that upsets me is that Tangles will be left out.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:36, Reply)

He can have a nut roast

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jun 2014, 16:40, Reply)