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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Retarded behaviour
What was the last piece you saw?
Alt: what's your boss like? Ever had a boss you loved or loathed?
Altalt: breakfast?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:08,
152 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
I shall talk to myself, therefore answering the first question
Just asked the cashpoint for £50. Sorry, it can't give me that, do I want £40 or £60? Fine, I'll take £60.
It gave me 2 x £20's..... And 4 x £5's. FFS. And when was the last time they put fivers in a cash point that wasn't in a student union?!
Alt: he's great. So was the last one.
Altalt: late for breakfast meeting, ugh.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:10,
Reply)
Hello swipeypoos!
Prolly a claims firm insisting that some with profits bonds could be switched, then insisting that ten years rather than five years is the 'correct' timeframe in which to view them.
Yeah, I know, crazy!
Alt: my current boss is superb. A good boss and a good bloke.
Alt alt: some fruit when I get to Leeds. I can never stomach food first thing.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:14,
Reply)
^ Not an accountant
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:50,
Reply)
Altalt, Quorn sausages, grilled tomatoes, poached eggs and nommy wholemeal rolls. White bread is pants. Morning, btw.
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DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:28,
Reply)
Cooked outside on a camping fax.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:31,
Reply)
Yes, that's correct.
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DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:37,
Reply)
Sliced white is for commoners
Baguettes, ciabatta, sourdough etc are fantastic
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:33,
Reply)
These were nice baguettes, with seeds and bits in them. Butter, obviously.
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DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:39,
Reply)
Aren't they just bread for commoners in other countries?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:39,
Reply)
Nah cos forrins do food better
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:41,
Reply)
Whilst I like a bit of fancy posh doorstops and that.
Every now and then, you can't beat a bit of toast made from a loaf of Kingsmill.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 10:05,
Reply)
The woman in my office right now
Alt. My boss is kind of OK. My last boss was great. The one before him is one of the most vile individuals I have ever met and if he died in the most painful, slow and shocking manner I would laugh and visit his grave to piss on it.
Exhibit A .
AltAlt. Coffee, just coffee, always just coffee.
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Peej, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:22,
Reply)
Dear Peej, as you know university internet fair usage policy allows us to track and read your online postings
As such I must warn you that posts bringing the university into disrepute will not be tolerated and could lead to disciplinary action. If you have issue at work please engage with the colleague out reach team through the appropriate channels to start mediation.
Regards
HR team
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:28,
Reply)
Dear Ben
What the fuck were you thinking using your company supplied laptop as a coaster?
Regards
IT team
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:30,
Reply)
ZING!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:17,
Reply)
The cunt boss was when I was working for someone other than the university so there mister HR.
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Peej, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:30,
Reply)
We were referring to 'kind of ok' which could be misconstrued as a negative comment, please be more careful in future
HR team
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:35,
Reply)
Alright, he's a cunt too.
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Peej, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:35,
Reply)
*makes notes on permanent record*
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:42,
Reply)
Shove it up your arse, I just found that winning euro millions ticket I lost.
Stick you job up your fat fucking arsehole
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Peej, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:45,
Reply)
While swearing is permitted on the boards, we prefer more creative forms of profanity:
Reversal: by reversing "fuck" and "arse" you can substantially improve your swearing: "Stick you job up your fat arseing fuckhole"
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:10,
Reply)
I see so much retarded behaviour that I feel it's become the norm *sads*
Alt: My boss is a laid-back biker type who hates paperwork and just expects you to do your job. Supports when needed but generally stays out of the way, making sure all that we the sales force need, is provided. Hated my last boss. Self-important, micro-managing smarmy backstabbing cunt.
Altalt: Cbeese on toast.
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Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:22,
Reply)
Alt: experieced both. The best was the bloke that used to give me the occasional afternoon off & give me £50 to go on the piss*
AltAlt: coffee & Marlboro lights.
* That was when I worked for myself obvs.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:24,
Reply)
The design of the fold down tables on cross country trains
Alt: good thanks
Altalt: might get a bacon bagle
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:31,
Reply)
This morning when a retard on the tube surrounded by bags needed to occupy the only empty seat with a fucking Primark bag and ignored the polite requests to move it by being 'asleep'
Alt: He's alright, last one was a mega cunt.
Altalt: Banana
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:34,
Reply)
You should have taken a dump in it
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:35,
Reply)
I would have moved it myself but it appeared to be full of used tissues
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:36,
Reply)
You could have wiped your arse as well then
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:41,
Reply)
Haha, banana.
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DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:41,
Reply)
What's funny about that?
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:48,
Reply)
Bananas are fucking shit.
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Peej, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:49,
Reply)
'Banana's' are the greatest
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:50,
Reply)
Which boss shit the bed?
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DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:45,
Reply)
My boss is the flakiest, most forgetful, self indulgent person I've ever met, sadly.
Breakfast was hours ago. It's dinner time. Home made rogan josh and onion bhajis here.
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Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:55,
Reply)
I'd say the guy in front of me at the sandwich shop this morning was retarded
He got a bacon bap with brown sauce, red sauce and mayo. Fucking weirdo.
Alt: MD can be a tool, but is much better now than he was. My department manager is great, bought me a few ales last week.
AltAlt: Fatty breakfast bap - sausage, bacon & egg. I was also nice enough to buy several colleagues breakfast, although as it was £11 for 5 sandwiches, I'm not too upset.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 8:58,
Reply)
Was it high welfare outdoor bred pigs or miserable caged factory farmed pigs?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:05,
Reply)
Was it high welfare outdoor bred pigs or miserable caged factory farmed pigs?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:05,
Reply)
Was it high welfare outdoor bred pigs or miserable caged factory farmed pigs?
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:07,
Reply)
Was it high welfare outdoor bred pigs or miserable caged factory farmed pigs?
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:07,
Reply)
Was it high welfare outdoor bred pigs or miserable caged factory farmed pigs?
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:08,
Reply)
Was it high welfare outdoor bred pigs or miserable caged factory farmed pigs?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:08,
Reply)
Well?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:12,
Reply)
I couldn't care less, they were thick rashes of bacon, well cooked.
Wouldn't shock me at all if the sausages were crap, but the bacon was good enough that I don't care.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:17,
Reply)
Rashes? I think you mean rasheRs!!! One for the 'fail archive' AB!!!!!!
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:19,
Reply)
Gah, piss.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:21,
Reply)
EPIC FAIL!!!!!
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:22,
Reply)
LOL
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:22,
Reply)
ROFL!
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:24,
Reply)
Classic 'archive' stuff right here!!!
Man can't spell
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:27,
Reply)
Rolf On the Fucking Loose?
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:29,
Reply)
basically you are a terrible human being
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:20,
Reply)
As are you
Morning, how are we?
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:21,
Reply)
who are you? the fucking queen?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:26,
Reply)
No, that's Darth
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:26,
Reply)
Darth's dead
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:27,
Reply)
Damn shame.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:28,
Reply)
Well?
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:14,
Reply)
Answer the question.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:16,
Reply)
We need to know if it was high welfare outdoor bred pigs or miserable caged factory farmed pigs?
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:18,
Reply)
Every day on here.
Alt: He's a good mate. I'm not sure I've ever loathed a boss, perhaps on account of being an adult and being able to relate to other people.
Altalt: Misery muesli :(
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:04,
Reply)
Was it high welfare outdoor bred muesli or miserable caged factory farmed muesli?
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:10,
Reply)
This was muesli that lived a long, happy life, free to roam around the Dorset countryside.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:12,
Reply)
Get you with your branded cereals
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:13,
Reply)
Hippy brand innit
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:17,
Reply)
Dunno what you're talking about m8
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:11,
Reply)
Not you, obviously.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:12,
Reply)
Damn straight
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:13,
Reply)
Plus, loathing takes up WAY too much energy.
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Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:12,
Reply)
alright pops?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:21,
Reply)
if by "alright" you mean hungry as fuck and wishing I"d ordered takeaway instead of cooking indian myself, then yup, I'm alright.
you?
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Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:29,
Reply)
similar, although it's a buit early for indian
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:31,
Reply)
Nonsense, dosas, etc. make the perfect breakfast food.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:33,
Reply)
Cold Pizza is amazing for breakfast.
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Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:53,
Reply)
I don't think that is Indian.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 10:18,
Reply)
Our office's file transfer policies are pretty retarded
Alt: barely impinges on my consciousness, just how I like it.
Altalt: sausage bap with ketchup and mustard.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:16,
Reply)
Morning miss
I see retarded behaviour every single day in my job. The stupidity of some users staggers me
Alt:
Generally always had good bosses. Micro managing is my particular ballache. Just tell me to do something and then leave me the fuck alone to do it. If you are so worried about my ability to do the task, dont ask me to do it
AltAlt:
Home made muesli with blueberries and strawberries.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:21,
Reply)
IT yurt prick ^
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:22,
Reply)
IT prick, please
No yurt
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:22,
Reply)
^ gay breakfast ^
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:22,
Reply)
Damn tasty, actually
I now have coffee
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:23,
Reply)
Home made museli is essentially just a load of oats and stuff thrown together, aye?
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:46,
Reply)
Basically
I buy some dried fruit and nuts, chop them up and mix them in with oats.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:49,
Reply)
^ knows his oats
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 10:06,
Reply)
lemmy was also pretty retarded this morning
flew back to his cage and clung to the outside, staring piteously at me because he couldn't get in. it's not my fault you're too fucking thick to fly or climb around the corner where the door is. where it has always been. and always will be.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:25,
Reply)
you might say he was a bit of a BIRD BRAIN!
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:26,
Reply)
Well of course, he's a bird!!! Oh man, AB better put this in the 'fail archive' before it gets deleted!!! LOL
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:28,
Reply)
the fial archive is an important record of man's inhumanity to man
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:29,
Reply)
UH OH!!!!
MAN SPELLS 'FAIL' WRONG
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:31,
Reply)
I'm expecting this new meme to be repeated by Dozer in 4 years time.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:29,
Reply)
alright
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:33,
Reply)
Yer.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:36,
Reply)
i've got coffee in my lungs :(
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:31,
Reply)
MAN DRINKS COFFEE WRONG
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:32,
Reply)
Cough it into your keyboard
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:33,
Reply)
I once had an entire bottle of smirnoff ice in my lungs when a 'strawpedo' backfired
#trulad #yolo
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:34,
Reply)
wtf is a strawpedo?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:35,
Reply)
Paul Gadd wearing a boater.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:36,
Reply)
v good
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:48,
Reply)
youtu.be/dSr3AbY4HtM
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:36,
Reply)
Smirnoff Ice?
Really?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:53,
Reply)
There's a 40 year old woman where I work throws childish tantrums every day.
Im talking stamping feet, the lot.
she's a massive coke fiend. It does her no good. She's canny at sales though.
She's a Grandmother too. I despair.
alt. My bosses are cool guys. Very laid back as long as you do your work. Getting paid today a day early for my weekend away. Hurrah!
ALTALT. Hovis breakfast bar thingys :(
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:42,
Reply)
PAAAAYDAAAAAYYYY CAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:43,
Reply)
I have some payday wine in the house if that counts.
And a bottle of ale that's been there for ages because I don't drink ale.
I might have the ale
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:48,
Reply)
+ m
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:48,
Reply)
Very good
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:53,
Reply)
Retarded behaviour just this morning
A user has just sent me half a dozen files that are to be merged and fed into an SSIS to populate some DB tables. Not really my job to merge his data for him but it's a rush job. However, his data is absolute gash and he clearly hasn't even looked at it.
Alt: My boss lives 500 miles away and I see him maybe twice a year. My supervisor lives 500 miles away but I speak to her most days. She's ok, and most importantly can be blinded by science.
I had a boss who pulled me up at an appraisal for being the 'social hub' of the office, i.e. I chatted too much. This coming from a man who just a week earlier had spent 90 minutes chatting to me during work time about the American Football team that he was involved with and would I like to come and try out for them [I was young and fit back then].
AltAlt: cereal and coffee.
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Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 26 Jun 2014, 10:06,
Reply)
Oh you terrible cunt.
It's 467 miles ACTUALLY.
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Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 26 Jun 2014, 10:18,
Reply)
Oh no!!!!! Better put me in 'the archive'!!!
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 10:20,
Reply)
Grabbing a screenshot of this now
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Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 26 Jun 2014, 10:23,
Reply)
lulz
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 10:23,
Reply)
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