Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I've got the promise of an early finish and a week off on the horizon.What's perking up your life right now?
alt. A link for Monty www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-trending-28335358
#Hitlersongs was a fave of mine. what's your favourite Hitler song?
altalt. Dogs cant look up. share your favourite bullshit theories.
altaltalt. lunch/dinner/food/fat
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 12:11,
169 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
altalt: spoons should be used to eat ice cream
altaltalt: just wondering that. still full from peanut butter toast for breakfast.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 12:22,
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rabbits and sunshinealtaltalt: soup
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 12:23,
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not rabbit or sunshine soup before someone hilariously asks(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 12:24,
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Should be home by 4, then dog walks and sitting in the garden for a few beers and enjoy my birthday on my own. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jul 2014, 12:24,
Reply)
Gays use cocks and bums for sex apparently.Can't see how that works?(, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 12:28, Reply)
Got a phonecall, a voicemail, a text message and a LinkedIn requestfrom some recruiter who wants me to go for a freelance job in the Netherlands.
Gave me a laugh, anyway.
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Kroney, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 12:27,
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Nuffink, I'm a right miserable cunt this week.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 12:27,
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I long for the sweet release of death(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 12:29,
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EVERYTHING/garyoldman
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 12:32,
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What's good for fever, chesty cough, runny nose, stiff neck, aches and chills, vomiting blood?(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 12:38,
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probablydoesn't mean it's a walk in the park.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:00,
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alt: everything's gonna be all reich(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 12:32,
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MICHEAL GOVE GOT STUCK IN THE TOILET!Oh dear what can the matter be
micheal gove is stuck in the lavatory
he was there from monday to saturday
nobody knew he was there
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 12:34,
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I'll take you herestablepizza.com/
When you are next down, you can get proper Oscar'd on cider.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 12:44,
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altaltalt: korean fried chicken & kimchi slaw(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 12:44,
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Not tried that. I'll add it to my list(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 12:54,
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It's like relly nice KFC!!!They do different flavours too.
jubolondon.com/foodmenu/
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 12:58,
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What's the vegetarian option?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:01,
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Mushroom steamed bun, bokkeumbap with spinach and any of the sidesAnd obviously a cocktail to drink, you big nancy.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:03,
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I'll have a mojito made with a Laimon Fresh(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:10,
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A Little Less ConcentrationA Little More Achtung!
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 12:54,
Reply)
Good: Days off coming up. Bad: the inlaws are visiting. Good: We don't speak the same language, literally.alt: Reich here waiting for you.
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Muns, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 12:58,
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Do they speak much English? where they from?(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:10,
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They're from Slovakia, and speak none at all. Most of their kids are fluent, as are a number of their other family members. (
Muns, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:21,
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Going to the Cricket with my brother tomorrow, should be goodAlt: Springtime for Hitler is the only one I can think of.
AltAlt: That we didn't land on the moon.
AltAltAlt: Tandoori chicken salad
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:02,
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It's a good 'gateway' format for people who don't understand and therefore class all cricket as boring(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:18,
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You think this is down to a lack of understanding?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:21,
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Some of the time it is, yes. I don't doubt that some people will find it utterly dull, in the same way that I like music in general but don't like drone folk.My point is there is a habit of people saying something is boring just because they haven't taken any time to try to understand it. Like me with politics and current affairs.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:23,
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I managed to get the missus into cricket By putting TMS on the car radio
(, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:38, Reply)
I didn't mind playing non-stop cricket at school(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:55,
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I meant as an introduction to cricket for people who have never really watched it.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:25,
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Meh, it's good fun, I see no reason not to enjoy it(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:42,
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I understand cricket, played it for a number of years, etcDoesn't mean I can't enjoy the adult equivalent of kwik-cricket.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:39,
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Ah no, we didn't land on the moon.We didn't have the technology, you see. Something something shadows.
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Kroney, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:11,
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Going to see some live music tonight AND tomorrow night.And life is generally good.
Alt: Bit of Wagner is alright.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:08,
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Didn't have you down as an X Factor viewer.(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:10,
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OK. So what do we think this is?www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/russia/10971128/Scientists-baffled-by-appearance-of-giant-crater-in-Siberia.html
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:09,
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I'm doing some research into the pub trade. I'm having a wander round the local juicers. What makes a good pub, iyho? I realise I'll have to knock the drinking on the head when we take the place.(, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:10, Reply)
You should get a chef in and turn it into a gastro pub.All the rage now, you know.
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Kroney, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:12,
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Cheap quality lager, wall to wall clunge, cubicles with flat surfaces and lockable doors, jukebox, garden, outside heaters, no queers, no kids, no 'pretentious gastro-pub food', late licence Signs in the windows advertising 'SPECIEL OFERRS'
Most importantly: A camping fax stove for outdoor catwring
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:13,
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It's okay I have been to 'under new ownership' pubs before that have closed in six months, so I can imagine what it will be like.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:27,
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You should have knocked the drinking on the head when you were a "doctor" tbh.The pub will depend on what type of yokels you have living in the surrounding areas/ cultures.
Try to find a gap in the market.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:17,
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Low lighting, minimal noise, surly bar staff and no strangers.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:17,
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A landlord who doesn't drink his own beer tells you the beer is shit.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:17,
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It's a cask place, so I'll still be sampling. Just knock the long boozing on the head.(, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:22, Reply)
Christ. Now he wants to be a music producer. (
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:23,
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A good selection of proper alesSomeone who knows how to keep a cellar, variety. A selection of simple but high quality foods (doesn't need to be a massive menu but does need to be good)
A well kept smoking area, outside seating/ pub garden.
(, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:19, Reply)
Adjoining female and mens toilets, with reasonably placed glory holes. (
Muns, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:21,
Reply)
I hope you've applied for your entertainments license.On of the bars I worked in had to put signs all over their dance floor saying "No Dancing", which people obviously ignored.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:27,
Reply)
Is this a Footloose joke? I've never seen it.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:29,
Reply)
Well, if you ever meet Stunned he might show you.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:30,
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You don't go to many not-necessarily-gay pubs so you?(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:28,
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If it hasn't got music and dancing, Im not interested.After 7pm anyway.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:30,
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Perhaps I'm wrong, but I don't associate pubs with dancing.Unless it's 'the dance of the morris'.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:31,
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You've not been to many gay bars then.(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:36,
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All goes down the same way in my experience...(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:41,
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Only having warm Fosters on tapEach pint should smell slightly of farts and dead rat
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:30,
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Served with a splash of lemonade. Just a splash.IT'S NOT A TOP OKAY!?!??!!
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:32,
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Celebrity guests always bring the punters in. Try getting convicted celeb paedophiles in, for that extra wow factor!
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Muns, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:33,
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A good selection of snacks is essential. (
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:39,
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not listening to a word this lot saythat's a start
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:39,
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Surely alcoholics would be the best people TO listen to? After all, they're the target audience?
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Muns, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:43,
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Always have enough good beer and clean lines. Bollocks to all the theme nights and karaoke and steak night and shit (except your curry night, that's different) just keep the beer properly and keep the lines clean and you'll get punters. There is so much shit beer around.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:40,
Reply)
this^A good pint is fucking wonderful. Beer tastes nicer in pubs
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:41,
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Oh boy if only that hadnt been said earlier. jelly.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2326658
(, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:43, Reply)
Yeah, but I'm an expert. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:50,
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It certainly seemed more credible coming from you(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:52,
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COW 39, IN AGREEING WITH OTHER POSTER SHOCK(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:53,
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Good selection of ales (clean pipes are essential), beer garden, not overly expensive(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:41,
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I wonder if he knows how to clean pipes. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:42,
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Actually, I wonder if he knows how to keep ale. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:43,
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Hang on, have you got a personal licence? (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:41,
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This cunt failed getting a telly license(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:43,
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It's a serious question, needs to do an exam and is subject to a CRB check. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:50,
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I know, but the good doctor was never a doctor so I doubt he's opening a pub any time soon.(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:58,
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Have a customised tampon vending machine installed in the womens. When 10p is inserted, pressurized air should fire the tampon vertically upwards into the ready, open and waiting minge.
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Muns, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:42,
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also a few of these dotted around the placewww.iflscience.com/technology/automatic-sperm-extractor-introduced-chinese-hospital
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Depends on the selection of records in it(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:44,
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The Greatest Hits of T'PauChas N Dave
Vera Lynn
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:49,
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White China in your rabbit Dover(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:53,
Reply)
I'll be honest, I can't fucking wait to see your business plan!(
Muns, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 14:06,
Reply)
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