Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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woo, i've just been nominated for an award for excellencewhat was the last thing you won? i'd have to say £1 on a lottery instants.
alt: are you a shouter or a sulker?
altalt: b3ta stuntwank. i nominate stunned, a two-handed job between his left hand and his stump, sitting on the edge of london bridge and thinking about dozer and jason in a daisy chain.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 14:02,
114 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
I won second prize in a 'get an internet girlfriend' competition (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 14:07,
Reply)
...and first prize in losing her(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 14:10,
Reply)
Keep gazzing Poppet with your fan-fiction, she's bound to change her mind sooner or later(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 14:21,
Reply)
Stop thinking about his cunt(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 14:29,
Reply)
You won't win, you spend too much time skiving on the internet. I won a holdall from a lucozade bottle last week.
alt: Impromptu masturbation wins every argument.
altalt: Use the shard as a buttplug. Full length or it doesn't count.
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Muns, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 14:09,
Reply)
Probably about £850 in a casino in MadeiraAlt:
I shout. Gets it sorted quicker
AltAlt:
No ta
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 14:12,
Reply)
This is my favourite insult of recent times(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 14:18,
Reply)
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 14:51,
Reply)
some dullardthe best ones are here now, oh yes.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 15:08,
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Wow, I'd never have guessed that from her response. I wonder why she lied to me hmmmmmm.(, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 15:11, Reply)
what part of my comment was a lie? it's 100% solid gold accuracy.(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 15:25,
Reply)
Excellence in what field? Well done.I did have a scratchcard rotation not too long ago but never got anything more then 20 quid.
alt. Im really calm, I delay shouting for as long as possible and look for the nest means to solve the issues.
I have moments at work when things have to be done HERE AND NOW where I panic a bit.
altalt. Erm...
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 14:12,
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Oh well done! Im currently the leader of the call centre division.(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 14:22,
Reply)
Aaaaaah. And here I was thinking, that from the cards I'd seen in phone boxes, Kathy Burke had fallen on hard times.
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Muns, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 14:40,
Reply)
Why are you still using phone boxes? Bit old fashioned and povvo m8(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 14:42,
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But useful for that quick on street wankCant do that behind your new fangled iPhone
(, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 14:59, Reply)
The last thing I won of any consequence was a Pointless trophy and a grand.I may have mentioned this before.
Alt: Neither. Calm and reasoned logic all the way.
AltAlt: I suspect that says far more about you than it does about either of them.
(, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 14:14, Reply)
Surely you need more than 2 for a daisy chain? (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Sep 2014, 14:14,
Reply)
"in a daisy chain"i imagine the other places are up for grabs....
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 14:23,
Reply)
You do the lottery? Ugh, how crass.
Alt: Yes.
Altalt: Didn't CHCB once try to persuade qotw to engage in some mutual masturbation?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 14:15,
Reply)
Altalt: Were you wanking off to that mental image during your lunch hour? Why even bring it up?
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Muns, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 14:15,
Reply)
About 20 quid playing bastard brag and shoot in a pub a few weekends ago.(
Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 14:16,
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Can I suggest you quickly double check your nomination letter it should say excrementAlt: Neither, talker would be about it.
altalt: Sporters while being pissed on by that big faced Geordie bird off bbc that he has a bongle for (SHE IS DEFO A POST OP)
(, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 14:25, Reply)
altaltlolsI think she's from Hartlepool. I can confirm she must at least be post op
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 14:26,
Reply)
I 'won' a £100 duty free voucher at the weekend on a flightcos my sound stopped working and I didn't want to move seats.
(, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 14:33, Reply)
If that counts then I "won" £80 off a meal at Centerparcs as the safe wasn't working properly and the patio door lock was knackered(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 14:38,
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Basically I broke into next door and nicked £80(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 14:38,
Reply)
Whoops(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 17:10,
Reply)
fine if you aren't replying to my texts i'm not replying on here ANYMORE(Alt: Sulker)
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 14:58,
Reply)
that's weird she's been texting me all bloody day(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 15:05,
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i haven't had any texts from you, sulkythe budgie is better at communicating
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 15:07,
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UHOHHis is defo texting his good girlfriend and getting you confused
(, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 15:17, Reply)
this was quite goodfor a scottish spastic
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 17:46,
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DLT guilty.BBC4 are going to have to scrap the Top of the Pops repeats at this rate.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 23 Sep 2014, 15:23,
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scrape them harder than he scraped those young girls hymensAlright DG?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 15:26,
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Hard at work ain't I?Unlike you bunch of skivers.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 23 Sep 2014, 15:32,
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I ain't, only got 3 weeks left at this one, so slacking off!are you fully employed yet?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 15:34,
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Not yet but hopefully got something in the pipeline.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 23 Sep 2014, 15:36,
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something about having something in your mum's pipelineWell good luck, have you considered moving to the prosperous South?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 15:37,
Reply)
Does this make the Hairy Cornflake a cereal offender?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 15:30,
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Monty's early rap career www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIpUTPnJDrU
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 15:25,
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Finally, someone willing to copy and paste a link from another part of b3ta and pass it off as their own. (, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 15:38, Reply)
DBT is a bum bag. I gazzed him secrets and he didn't even say thanks.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Sep 2014, 15:32,
Reply)
You've probably got mates from prep school in the RAF who will find and kill me when you tell them at polo what I said. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Sep 2014, 15:41,
Reply)
Sorry about that, just seen the message bit, phone doesn't display it.It was no secret about frog, we all knew it anyway.
(, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 16:10, Reply)
Today I've sneaked closer to the post office tower sniper endingNot that anyone is here anyway
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 16:07,
Reply)
did they take away your tricycle allowence(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 16:08,
Reply)
I'm starting to get rather bored up swimming uphill through the river of shite that comes our way every day(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 16:10,
Reply)
Sorry could you explain All that seems to say is :
"Bloo bloo wahhhhh wahhhhhhh blooo"
(, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 16:13, Reply)
you were gonna look for new job when they took your car allowence...(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 16:13,
Reply)
I did lookNowt going for the same cash I'm on now unless I go contracting
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 16:14,
Reply)
have you considered moving to the prosperous south?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 16:16,
Reply)
+ and holidaying in Cov(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 16:17,
Reply)
Alright GarryOwenWe cant all supress a race of people for our own pleasure
(, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 16:18, Reply)
Better get used to swimming uphill through the river of shite then(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 16:16,
Reply)
But I dont want to move to Australia(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 16:26,
Reply)
I'd be up for contracting.But I don't know if it would suit me as once I'd finished my first one I reckon I'd be in danger in spending a lot of time sat in front of the telly with my hands down the front of my 'house trousers' rather than finding another role.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 17:00,
Reply)
I'm off to make a caramalised onion and beef and ale pie nowBYE!
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 16:18,
Reply)
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