Not the last HSH thread ever
because the LHC won't be the death of the earth.

So come in and revel in your existence!




In honour of today's events (and thanks to the Resident Loon):

Click here for topical cartoon.

Image removed to be nice to people with slow connections.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 8:23, 266 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

particularly because they aren't doing anything even slightly dangerous
with it for over a month...

morning!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 8:29, Reply)

Morning K2k6!
I'm watching it live on tv - it's exciting!

I'll be late for work at this rate!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 8:30, Reply)

Morning chaps
Didn't know it was live on telly.

Seems a bit pointless really. I mean there's nothing to see as such. It's not like Neil Armstrong landing on the moon.

Edit - just watching it on the BBC's webpage. As I thought - a bunch of people milling about in a room.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 8:33, Reply)

morning
Glad to awayke and find out that i'm not dead, and the end of the world didn't happen :)
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 8:53, Reply)

Morning peeps!
What's going on with OT? What's with all of the nonsensical threads? Have /talk come to visit?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 8:56, Reply)

Morning weekirst
No, the world won't end until after October 21st, when they start colliding protons rather than just firing them round the ring.

Actually, it won't. It's perfectly safe!

Edit - Morning Lucy. Looks like /talk have indeed invaded. But the Loon sorted them out.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 8:56, Reply)

Ah I see
Well that's alright then. Good ol' Loon.

And the world won't end today, which is another piece of sparkly and happy news. Hooray.

AND I'm off to London today to meet some b3tans and spend some time with Mr VP, even more marvellousness!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 8:59, Reply)

Hey folks
/talk have came over on day release.
I saw them being shepherded onto a boat earlier by Jack Nicholson.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:00, Reply)

I don't get why they bother
if you read the conversations that some of the peeps from here have with them, it's almost as if they can't read what is being said to them.

no one is actually rising to the bait, and yet they act as if they are.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:01, Reply)

*yanws*
Morning all.

Looking forward to the bash tonight =]
( Captain V, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:01, Reply)

Hello lovely QOTWers :)
Have all the /talk people trudged back to their caves yet?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:06, Reply)

I would doubt
whether /talk are out of bed yet.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:07, Reply)

I hope so
I don't mean to sound naive or like I'm being mean but I genuinely don't understand what they say and why they say it.
Am I missing something vital or is the key just to not make any sense at all?!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:07, Reply)

Hey TGB
I'm off on this vision of /talk being like One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

They write their posts in crayon and a nurse types them in for them.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:08, Reply)

hahaha
I like your thinking BK! *imagines*

Lucy I think the point of the /talk posts is to offend by saying "fatty" and "cock" from what I read.

Of course they may be talking in /talkish and the real meaning is lost in transl.... nah they just talk crap.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:10, Reply)

Morning.
*sighs*

A day of work always seems worse when you haven't slept.
( Cawl, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:11, Reply)

TGB
Ah I see. That's pretty much what I thought.
Silly billies.

Morning Kaol - no sleepy time for you last night?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:12, Reply)

this is not about horses
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7607460.stm
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:12, Reply)

Hey Lucy
Nope, no sleep for me.
Ah well.
*shrugs*
( Cawl, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:13, Reply)

@Vipros
Ah, that explains where Bert has been then!

Morning, others.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:15, Reply)

Poor Kaol
No sleep is gash
*sympathises*
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:22, Reply)

Morning all!
How are we doing this fine (sunny!!) day?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:25, Reply)

Not too bads thanks himjim
I haven't had my morning cup of tea yet though so a little groggy :p

Not horses but goats Vipros! My free the Kinshasa 12 campaign has been successful then.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:32, Reply)

I knew you'd have something to do
with the goaty jailbreak!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:34, Reply)

They were rare
spelling goats. I had to help.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:37, Reply)

*puts away jail-breaking knife*
So, London tonight? I'll be there.
( Cawl, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:40, Reply)

fair enough
here at last, is a photo of part of my bathroom

it's not finished yet, but you can get the idea

www.b3tards.com/u/48ca4e4a50b7cad28251/bathroom1.jpg
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:40, Reply)

Ooh nice :)
Chocolately! Mmmm chocolate....
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:46, Reply)

Morning!
At work now, after watching the massively boring switch-on on tv.

What I love, right, is the way that we're referred to by /talk as 'insipid cunts' and the like, yet you look at their board and it's the same thing over and over and over again. And they don't have the capacity to follow a conversation unless it's laid out for them in nice, staggered passages.

If they hate us so much, why do they feel the need to talk about us so much? Some of them even claim to be intelligent... but their behaviour indicates otherwise.

*tempted to post 'I'm busting for a piss' over and over and over again on /talk*

And breathe. I should probably just use the ignore button... :)

Are we all well today?

EDIT: Top work, V old boy!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:48, Reply)

it's black ;-)
floor is light slatey grey

DiT: couldn't agree more! and thanks
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:48, Reply)

Hey DiT
If you're good you can have a cookie :p

I watched about 30 seconds of the JMGTV shit. The punchline was "people are fat" *waits for laughter to die down*

(Edit: Looks brown in the pics :P)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:53, Reply)

@Vipros
Bathroom is looking rather nice.
( Captain V, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:58, Reply)

I too never quite got the JMG
thing. I'm sure you'd have had to have been there from the start to fully grasp it.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:59, Reply)

JMG?
He's the Kaol of /talk.

But of course /talk is rubbish. And I'm fantastic.
( Cawl, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 10:01, Reply)

Good morning.
You know we could go to the next /talk bash and intimidate the lot of them.

Would be funny.
( girlinthehole, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 10:13, Reply)

My boss walked in this morning and said to me...
"Ohhhhhh I've got a really bad case of cystitis."

I don't know why she felt the need to tell me, or why I feel the need to tell all of you.

Oh well! Everyone ok this morning?
( wanderlust, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 10:15, Reply)

We could flounce in
wobble a lot and get angry because we're not in a clique.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 10:15, Reply)

I've never had cystitis.
FACT


*touches wood*

*likes the feel of touching wood*

*touches wood some more*
( girlinthehole, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 10:18, Reply)

Hello all!
I'm rather looking forward to the mini-bash later for DG!

On another note, what the shuddering fuck is all that "I'm busting for a piss" drivel about in 3 or 4 different posts from last night?

Are the malicious cunts on /talk so pathetic and juvenile that they're trying to force us to treat off-topic like another /talk board? Frankly, it's rather tedious. Hijos de putas.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 10:19, Reply)

@BGB
Whose wood?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 10:20, Reply)

Ooh, wood?
*arrives at just the right time*
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 10:22, Reply)

Are you coming tonight Bob?
*yays*

In answer to your question: Yes, yes they are. :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 10:22, Reply)

*wishes was coming to bash*
And I'm even too poor to go to my gig in Sheffield tonight

*sads*

Everything's shit!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 10:31, Reply)

awww bk
*cuddles*
( wanderlust, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 10:33, Reply)

Can I offer
Hugs & cookies BK? :p

Everyone is harping on about the bash tonight, well more fool you people because I am going to have an awesome night going to my mums and having a free meal! Yeah. How do you like them banananananas!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 10:34, Reply)

Amazing how the mention of wood
brings you out of the, er, woodwork, clendrix!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 10:34, Reply)

TGB
That's what I'M doing! Stop stealing my ideas :(
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 10:35, Reply)

K2k6
I'm as shallow as a puddle...and I like it that way!
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 10:35, Reply)

Wooo!
Hugs from lovely B3ta ladies?

*gratefully accepts*

And cookies?! *noms*

I shall console myself this evening with a ritual lasagne.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 10:37, Reply)

@himjim - You're stealing my ideas!
I'm older I win. :p

I have some risotto from last night for my lunch today it was really yummy :D
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 10:41, Reply)

Tis a bit quiet this morning
Who wants to tell me a rubbish joke? I'm looking at you K2k6.
( wanderlust, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 10:51, Reply)

Man walks into a bar


















And he has no clothes on!!!!!!
( Captain V, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 10:52, Reply)

@ Lusty
*topical*

What's this?

*mimes wheeling*
*smacks head*
*mimes wheeling*
*smacks head*

Paralympic hurdles!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 10:53, Reply)

Hurrah!
They were both rubbish jokes.

I feel much better now. :D
( wanderlust, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 10:57, Reply)

Rubbish joke, as requested
An old farmer is on his way back from the market with his horse and cart, when he stops at a roadside hostelry for a couple of refreshments.

Later, he comes out, gets back on the cart and gees up the horse. Off they go, but in his less-than-alert state the farmer fails to spot a large hole in the road which has been dug by workmen doing repairs and leads the horse and cart right into it.

The horse is quite badly injured when it falls into the hole, so the farmer decides it would be best to put it out of its misery. He gets his shotgun from the back of the cart, loads and is taking aim when a woman walks by and shouts to him,

"Oh dear, you're not about to shoot that horse in the hole, are you?"

"Don't be daft, woman", replies the old farmer. "I'm going to shoot it in the head".

Badoom-tish!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 10:58, Reply)

I've lost a file on the system
*bangs head on desk*

Stupid search dog is rubbish!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 10:59, Reply)

@ Lusty
Good, good!
I am to please.

*aims*
*pleases*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:01, Reply)

@K2k6
That was terrible! You're my hero.
( wanderlust, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:02, Reply)

@lust
I dare say I could produce more shite like that when required!

You know that already of course, otherwise you wouldn't have asked...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:04, Reply)

Hehe
Some gems from BBC's HYS debate re the LHC:

"Once started can they switch it off or stop it in anyway ? I am all for sience but this scares the wits out of me and why did the population of the world have no say in this project.

sarah pickersgill, wakefield"

Yes, and what about my taxes?

"Isn't this is all just a big waste of money? - by a set of geeks who are bored with playing regular 'space invader' games.

Tiago, Huddersfield"

I agree. They should upgrade to an XBox 360. *slaps*

"What happens if they do this and it causes a new universe within a universe? Will it then expand immediately causing our planet to explode?

Jack, Dundee"

Well, Jack, let's see. Have you seen Men In Black? Perhaps our Universe is just an atom that's part of a marble that's an Aliens toy. Nurse! The medication!

"At approx. 1145 hrs on 11th Jan 1996 I discovered the origins of the universe and it didn't cost me (or anyone else) a penny. I met its creator and He says that all He expects of me is to believe THAT He did it and not get hung up on HOW He did it. He calls it FAITH. That same faith teaches me that it would be better to spend £5 bn on the world's homeless, sick, hungry and marginalised rather than trying to prove God doesn't exist (a futile experiment). One day there will be an even bigger bang.

jim, coleraine"

Quick! Turn it off! All we need to do is ask Jim what to do!

I don't know why I do this to myself...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:06, Reply)

@lusty
You meant jokes that make you groan rather than jokes that are actually shit.

*turns the stick around*
( Captain V, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:07, Reply)

@DiT
That last one is awful, really, really awful. People like that make me so mad.
( Captain V, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:09, Reply)

DiT
Jim sounds fab.
I'm sure he posts on here somewhere...
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:09, Reply)

@DiT
I've just been looking through exactly the same thing. I like this one though:

"It can lead to the first significant advancement in particle physics in decades, so it's worth doing it. I don't care if it does not have practical applications. Do the Sistine Chapel or the Mona Lisa or the 9th symphony have any practical applications? I'd rather spend all this money on something that produces new scientific knowledge (space exploration, or particle experiments) rather than wasting it on useless things that have never solved anything (like dumping yet more money to Africa).

Robert Soria"


Not exactly politically correct in parts, but I agree with him.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:09, Reply)

Lets
Get Jim and Robert in the same room.
That would be fun
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:10, Reply)

BK
Jim, Robert...and Kaol.

*sits back and waits for the show to begin*
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:12, Reply)

I love HYS
It's one of my favourite things to read; it makes me comfortable in my knowledge sometimes.

This blog is also good.

ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com/
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:12, Reply)

Now then
"This is a fantastic experiment. But the truly fascinating question is surely this: what happened a billionth of a second BEFORE the Big Bang? Will this experiment throw any light on this?

Andy, York"

No it won't Andy, because this is meaningless. The concept of time and space, as space-time, only came into existence at the point of the Big Bang. So there was no such thing as 'before' the Big Bang.

So there.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:13, Reply)

One agrees
If we really want to build luxury palaces in the South of France for (some) African politicians, why don't we just do it in the first place and cut out the middle man?

NOTE: Not all African politicians are corrupt, naturally
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:14, Reply)

Jeremiah has a great take on things...
"Will this research open the door to understanding and visiting other dimensions, will it provide limitless power and will it provide miraculous breakthroughs in medicine? I thought not, and yet the world of scalar potential will give all these benefits; but at the moment it is only being used for military purposes."

Jeremiah, London

Funny. I didn't see a load of tanks and people dressed in camouflage walking around CERN on the telly. Prepare the proton bomb!

EDIT: I love that blog, himjim!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:14, Reply)

My boss was saying this morning
that he didn't see the point in it. Most of the stuff we have now is probably rooted in "pointless" experiments. I mean who ever thought firing micro waves at food would be useful :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:14, Reply)

/stumbles in
Morning folks!
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:17, Reply)

Hello Superweasel
Pull up a pew!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:19, Reply)

Mr Weasel
surely you should slink in with all the grace of slinky covered in fur :D
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:20, Reply)

/Pulls up pew and slinks
The stumbling was only due to last nights adventure whereby I stepped on an upturned plug, barefoot. It's still hurting ffs.

Are we all well this morning?
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:21, Reply)

hehe that blog is brilliant
This made me do rather loud officelols

"You see, this initially seems intelligent, but then you realise James from London is attempting to glean consistent and accurate scientific information from the Daily Mail."
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:22, Reply)

Robert... Jim...
Say hello to my little friend...
Mr. Stabby.

*blood splatters on camera lens*

Anyway, K-Tech Industries presents a late entry to the QOTW:
www.b3ta.com/questions/customersfromhell/post240265
( Cawl, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:22, Reply)

Yeah,
That blog is ace.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:23, Reply)

I'll have to stop reading HYS
All these buggers harping on about poverty and starvation are doing my head in!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:23, Reply)

Mornin' folks
* realises he still exists *

* looks around sheepishly *

Ah well, it was a good party last night.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:23, Reply)

Biggest problem with science imo
Is that people that can't comprehend what's going on get to learn about it from people who don't understand it either (journalists) in a half arsed way that makes it sound pointless/dangerous/waste of time and money etc.

Watched www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00dccnr/ last night and it's much better coverage of what they're doing and surprise surprise it's presented by somebody from CERN rather than a journalist.

Shame that the journalist naysayers and "amagad the world is teh ending!" people probably wouldn't understand the LHC any better after watching it.

@k2k6 That's why I didn't even bother to look. It really irks me when people moan about education being easier/not as good as it used to be when (seemingly) the same people make comments such as those being discussed here.
( Captain V, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:25, Reply)

@K2k6
My favourite from spEak You're bRanes:

"Looks like Pakistan is now well on it’s way to becoming the
first terrorist state WITH nuclear weapons.
This is not good for the world - unless of course you’re a
terrorist.
The situation, I think, will become rapidly unstable and
exceedingly dangerous.
If I lived in London, I would be afraid today."

Dave M., London
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:28, Reply)

@BK
I can't even read that blog in jest, it boils my blood to see such impressive levels of stupidity. I mean, how do these people function in day-to-day society?

To quote Maddox, if you slit my throat right now, you'd be hit in the eye with boiling blood.
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:30, Reply)

@BK
That took me far too long. Did invoke a chuckle when I did though.
( Captain V, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:30, Reply)

@Superweasel
They shouldn't be allowed crayons, let alone free access to a computer.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:33, Reply)

It's odd to think
Most of the people I interact with on a day-to-day basis are quite intelligent, somewhat secular, understanding, patient and tolerant.

Where are all the morons from that site hiding?
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:35, Reply)

My boss is giving me funny looks now!
I think he is on to the fact I am not working...

I may have to do some actual work for a bit *kneels over in shock*

PS Maddox rules. His thing on Titanic makes me chuckle :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:35, Reply)

@ BK
They're also the reason that I'm dubious that a direct or pure democracy could ever function.

:edit: @superweasel In this office ='[
( Captain V, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:37, Reply)

@ Captain V
Are you high up at all? 3rd storey, say, or higher?

If so, bait them by throwing a Daily Mail and a St George's Cross out of the window. You'd be doing a national service.
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:41, Reply)

One thing stupid people seem to be good at
is being able to get by in their lives being stupid. To be honest, if I lost my intelligence, I'm not sure how I'd cope.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:42, Reply)

Morning all
Ref: The plague of halfwits.

I think that quite a lot of them can function relatively well within their own spheres of mediocrity but as soon as they're subjected to anything outside of their realms of familiarity then they just revert to 15th Century thinking.

The day will come when some regular joe can't wrap his tiny brain around a subject and starts hammering "IT'S WITCHCRAFT" over and over again into his keyboard.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:44, Reply)

Agh!
What is this lensed "camera" you speak of?

POINT IT AWAY! IT WILL STEAL OUR SOULS, HEATHEN!
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:46, Reply)

@ Swan Vesta and spakka
Couldn't agree more with either of you.

@SW I'm only on the first floor so not much of a drop out the window - certain not to kill anybody.

We do have lots of industrial equipment and high racking in the factory and warehouse though...
( Captain V, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:47, Reply)

@ Captain V
How about a bear trap then? Simple and effective.

Bonus points if you cut and stick a picture of Osama bin Laden's face to it and ask someone to punch it.

EDIT: I think Maddox is affecting my thought pattern a little too much
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:49, Reply)

Personally I'd prefer a tactical air strike
*goes to play worms*
( Captain V, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:53, Reply)

@Captain V
Ah, Worms...
glorious days.

/poke
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:55, Reply)

@spakka
That's a good point. I sometimes wonder how people manage to get through life being as stupid as they are. But they seem to get on just fine!

Although none of them understand this:

Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?

To get to the same side.


I learned about Möbius strips from a Johnny Ball book when I was about 9. But most people have no idea.


Edit - sorry, this sounds elitist and snobbish. It wasn't my intention. It was just a rant!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:56, Reply)

Ref: Spheres of Mediocrity
I believe this is the only way they can cope, the problem is that the way into their little spheres is through things like the Daily Mail and HYS which subjects us to their inane ramblings.

I still can't believe no-one commented on the Big Dog article they had a while ago.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:56, Reply)

@k2k6
*laughs*

Great things those.

:edit: Didn't read your post as a rant either.
( Captain V, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:59, Reply)

We made Möbius strips
When I was probably about 13 "fun maths things".

Along with those awesome things where you get a pair of axis and join corresponding points with straight lines but the overall effect if that of a curved line.

It has a name I forget what it is :( *looks at k2k6*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:00, Reply)

It seems to be a problem of a lack of willingness to learn too
Being the student that I am, I can't help but notice some people actively resist learning - they have the mindset that it's not cool, or that it's unproductive.

These tend to be the same people that also say 'LOL I don't read books'.

I wonder why they do it?
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:02, Reply)

I find it sad
that not everyone will understand the brilliance of the joke:

there are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:03, Reply)

0100100001000001010010000100000101001000010000010100100001000001
:)
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:04, Reply)

In a similar vein
Why do mathematicians celebrate Halloween on Christmas?

Because OCT 31 is DEC 25!
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:05, Reply)

Vipros
I've heard that one before, good stuff!
( Cawl, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:05, Reply)

I don't know what is sadder
That himjim translated English to binary or that I translated it back *cries*

I may have lunch nom nom nom
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:07, Reply)

If you liked Möbius strips
you'll love Klein Bottles.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:13, Reply)

I like all of those!
*wishes he'd paid attention in binary class though*

I am trying to source a present for my Gran who is 80 at the weekend. It's very hard to find an appropriate present for an 80 year old. I'm thinking of a Fortnum and Mason Hamper.

Any ideas?

*feelings of regret about asking that surfacing*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:14, Reply)

@Megastoat
Your point about people who actively display their ignorance (not the same thing as stupidity)(at least not all of the time) by refusing to read books is well made.

Anyone remember the 'notallamericansarestupid' thing? They aren't, but some seem to revel in their ignorance, and usually end up with something like "well, we're the most powerful country in the world so fuck you" as a conversation stopper.

(Makes the Loon a breath of fresh air)

And no, this isn't a specifically anti-Septic rant, just anti-EVERYBODY who doesn't take an interest outside of reality TV. I know sensible, degree educated people who take a pride in saying 'I never watch/read the news' but then come out with the most cretinous bollocks and expect their point of view to rank alongside someone who genuinely knows a hell of a lot about the subject..... sheesh.

Enough. I'm going back to awful puns.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:15, Reply)

@TGB
I know what you mean but I have absolutely no idea what they're called. It's a series of straight lines, but their crossing points describe a curve, the accuracy of which improves the more lines you have.

In the 1970s it was fashionable to make them using coloured thread wrapped round panel pins on a black board.

Edit - I like the OCT 31 one. Hadn't heard that before.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:15, Reply)

@ DiT
What kind of budget are you looking at?

Maybe a perfume or something from Crabtree and Evelyn?

store.crabtree-evelyn.co.uk/bin/venda?ex=co_disp-view&invt=53102&bsref=crabtreeevelynuk

EDIT:
@ K2k6

I used to spend ages doodling those shapes in maths! Where you'd link the longest point of one side to the shortest point of the opposing side and create a curve across a right angle?
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:17, Reply)

The hamper is a good idea
Theatre tickets are always good, depends what she likes I suppose. I took my Grandma to see Show Boat a while ago, she loved it!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:17, Reply)

^heheh
I had an art and craft kit when I was a kid that made those!

Ah, the 1980's! *salutes*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:18, Reply)

Have I just wandered on to XKCD?
I sent that binary joke by text ages ago to a broad group of people and I got at least 3 replies back "WTF? I don't get it!".
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:20, Reply)

Right then
I'm off for some wet and (near) naked exercise.

I'll be back later after a good few lengths.

Fnarr, etc.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:24, Reply)

Thanks for the suggestions, peeps!
I'm off up to Fortnums before the bash tonight, see what I can find!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:28, Reply)

@ Swan Vesta
To be honest, I don't get it.
I don't have a maths brain at all.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:40, Reply)

BK
Me neither.
Let's do non mathsy things like cooking or...well anything that's not maths.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:43, Reply)

@ Lucy
I didn't get taught anything about binary at all.

Err, kittens FTW!

I'm going out for a smoke!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:46, Reply)

@BK
It's to do with how binary represents numbers ie 1 is represented as 01, 2 is represented as 10 so the joke reads "There are 2 types of people".

*If I've explained it right ...... awaits correction*
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:57, Reply)

Ahh, got it
*feels a bit thick*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:59, Reply)

That's right Swan
And the Haloween/Christmas joke is in the same vein but in base 8 (OCT) and base 10 (Dec).

Whoever linked to xkcd is deserving of my gratitude- it's awesome!

:edit: xkcd.com/207/ Oh the tears of laughter at the first frame...
( Captain V, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:59, Reply)

Here, you need to edit the initial post to include this:
Already been done, linked due to munted computers.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 10 Sep 2008, 13:10, Reply)

This is such an OT one
xkcd.com/231/
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 13:15, Reply)

Done
Thanks, Loon!

I'm back. I like to get in a few lengths of a lunchtime.

But sometimes I just go swimming.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 13:21, Reply)

I'd never realised
That human intelligence was linked to proximity to cats. That leaves me in a horrible catch 22:

Have to put up with stupid people
Or kill all the fluffeh kittens

What to do?!
( Captain V, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 13:23, Reply)

To all who share geek humor only to be greeted with a blank stare:
welcome to my world.

I have a good friend that I went to engineering school with who has the same problem- we're surrounded by engineers, people who've had the same education that we have, but they don't ever quite seem to understand our jokes. Now if we were making references to the Tao Te Ching or something I might understand that- but we're not.

Example: Richard, who works as a building inspector, called to tell me of a set of plans he was reviewing that contained drawings of a wheelchair ramp. By building code, the slope of the ramp is a set value, so the difference in elevation is a function of the distance of the ramp. But this ramp was nowhere near long enough to do the job- it started out at grade, did one switchback with no landing, then came to the first floor elevation.

Richard looked at this and started laughing. "We have a historical document here! Building plans that use non-Euclidean geometry!"

His co-workers all looked blankly at him.

So he called me and explained it as I have above, and I chuckled. He exclaimed, "Thank god! I was getting worried!"

Feh. Some days being a witty geek among non-geeks and people who've gone through the geek barrier to the point of being robotic is a serious drag.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 10 Sep 2008, 13:25, Reply)

At work I just have to deal with awful puns and jokes
from my boss.

Today I was showing him how to do sudokus and he said "did you hear they are bringing out alphabet ones?" To which I foolishly replied "no" and he said "yes they were trialled in Liverpool but declared too easy as everyone just wrote "a a a a (in a Scousery accent obviously)"
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 13:42, Reply)

It's even worse
Being a somewhat undeveloped geek - Nobody gets your jokes and you only get about half the jokes that fully grown geeks make =[

:edit: @TBG Thank you - you've reminded me about the spreadsheet I started writing to solve sudoku automatically. That'll keep me occupied over lunch =]
( Captain V, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 13:44, Reply)

@TGB: like this, you mean?
Linked due to munted computers.

Sorry about that. I thought everyone over there had a decent connection speed. WTF, I thought that England would have decent broadband! I mean, it's not like you're in some third world country like France...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 10 Sep 2008, 13:46, Reply)

Yup
The images are cripplingly my already painfully slow work internet connection though! :(

Broadband my ass.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 13:49, Reply)

@TGB
I've removed the image at the top of the thread and linked to it instead.

Just for you.

Am I nice or what?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 13:54, Reply)

@k2k6
I hit home to see the link but read it as "Click here for tropical cartoon"

Needless to say I was disappointed.
( Captain V, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 13:59, Reply)

Dear everyone
Thank you for removing the pictures.

Kind regards,

Kaol T. Magnificent. Esq.
( Cawl, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:00, Reply)

Wahey!
Only 3 and a half hours of work to go, and I'm eating a galaxy bar!

*noms*

What shall I do to pass the time?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:03, Reply)

Thanks guys :)
And I have decent speed at home it's just the awful work computers :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:04, Reply)

DiT
Write a short story about a man called Tom who invents a machine that lets him talk to the ghosts of animals that he's eaten meat from.
( Cawl, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:04, Reply)

@DiT. Some suggestions.
Have a wank?

Read more about the LHC and how the idiots think it'll be the end of the world.

Stay here on OT.

All of the above.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:05, Reply)

^Have a wank?
I swear, K2k6, you're getting worse.
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:06, Reply)

@clendrix
Worse? In what way?

That's fairly standard b3ta advice! :)

Mind you, he'd have to find something to do for the other 3 hours 25 minutes.

Edit - actually, you have a point. I just read DiT's post properly and discovered he's at work! So maybe my advice was slightly misplaced.

Point taken.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:09, Reply)

Pfft...
MY advice was awesome.
I'd love to hear that story.

Hmmm... I got a bottle of Lucozade with my lunch. It says it's "Not appropriate for replacing the fluid lost during diarrhoea".
It actually says that. In words. On the bottle.
( Cawl, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:13, Reply)

K2k6
There are some b3tans I know of who could happily string out a wank for the entire 3.5 hours but I'm not mentioning names (and it's not me).
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:16, Reply)

@clendrix
I'll bet they're not male though!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:17, Reply)

Niiiiice
I have a cup of tea on my desk in a mug with sheep on. It doesn't say anything :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:17, Reply)

K2k6
He most certainly is! That's not even his record length of time.

Also had a conversation with a male non-b3tan at the weekend who told me his record amount of tugs for one day. Dear lord!

Why do men tell me things like this?
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:22, Reply)

*Joins discussion at wanking.*
Hello people.

Who's been wanking then?
( girlinthehole, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:27, Reply)

BGB
It's not my secret to share. But get me drunk next week and I'm sure my resolve will crumble as easily as it usually does.
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:29, Reply)

I've not had a wank
Since last night.

Not sure what my record number of wanks per day is nor record length of wank.

Bit boring really.
( Captain V, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:29, Reply)

Clendrix do we have to guess the amount?
erm.... 37!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:31, Reply)

Don't know about guys but.
I managed 4 one day. I was quite proud of that.
( girlinthehole, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:36, Reply)

Surely that should be a question mark
Grammar Badger :P
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:36, Reply)

Over an hour!
as to the amount, no idea, but I had a sore wrist the next day.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:36, Reply)

Much akin to
those contests where you have to guess how many sweets are in a jar? Except it's got the added bonus of timebound onanism.

I have a friend who goes through stages of texting me how many poos he's done that day .... Sometimes with updates.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:36, Reply)

Badger
Ha! No, you don't have to guess; I just didn't think to say. It was eleven.

He said he couldn't touch it for a week afterwards.

BK - impressive, but nowhere near this guy's record for one wank.
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:37, Reply)

@clendrix
Blimey.
My ex was watching it, giving me instructions, purely for educational purposes. She wrapped one of those foil cape things round me when I finished (second part is a fabrication)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:40, Reply)

Thing is
You have to take his word for it, there's no way of proving it.

Unless he's got a video...
( Cawl, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:40, Reply)

@K2k6
What, again? I've already had two today!

I haven't really

Most boys go through a period where they find everything, but everything, sexy. "Cor, look at that lamp post!", "Blimey, look at the hinges on that door!", this leads to a phenomenal amount of self-abuse.

Eventually, you grow out of that phase, learning the subtle do's and dont's of onanism. You become an adult, you sleep with women (or men, depending on your choice), occasionally slipping in a quick one off the wrist when the world appears barren.

And all this said, the bus can still give you innapropriate stiffys.

EDIT: ELEVEN?!? I'm surprised it didn't come off fall off in his hands!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:41, Reply)

@DiT
I wank more when I'm having regular sex.
Odd, but I have the urge all the time.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:43, Reply)

@BK
It's true that the more sex you get then the more you want. If your going through a dry spell, the urge tends to peter out.
( girlinthehole, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:46, Reply)

Well
It was more of an exclamation than a question, it may have warranted a !? at a push. :p

Like when people on gameshows are asked "Name a fruit beginning with C" and they shout "Turkey!"

Also as you were asking me a question where is your question mark? hmmmmmm
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:46, Reply)

Heh heh
You said 'peter'.

I sense a drought coming though. Think I should swear off the horizontal jogging for a bit and sort my head out.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:47, Reply)

@BGB
I've never experienced that.
( Captain V, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:50, Reply)

I really don't want to see video footage!
But apparently the trick is to bring yourself to the brink then leave it for a while etc. this drawing it out over a period of time.

Tightly - yes, eleven. The men present during this revelation were part impressed and part concerned.
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:52, Reply)

Eleven wanks on one day?!?
Good god, he'll have a callus on his phallus at that rate!

Sorry to say, I'm nowhere near as exciting- I rarely wank anymore. I by far prefer the real thing.

Not that I get the chance much these days, as the Lunatic Artist is moving out and it hasn't been exactly conducive to such things...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:52, Reply)

I am alone in my office...
I have a picture of Alan Rickman.

I'll be back in about 10minutes.
( wanderlust, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:53, Reply)

all this talk of wanking
makes me want one.

*google images Dominique Persi*

Should I wait til 4? It is a Wednesday after all.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:54, Reply)

I now know much more than I wanted to!
Strange how in various soundbites you're told: "you'll spend 6 months of your life sitting in traffic jams. 15 months on the telephone. 3 years eating."

It never says "You'll spend 90 per cent of the time between the ages of 13-18 choking the chicken. This time is not wasted."

Motion that it should.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:56, Reply)

@ DiT
Indeed it should.

I did see a kids book on sex education once and it did mentioned masturbation accompanied with a cartoony drawing of a guy lying in a field, his hand over the general groin area, surrounded by bunnies.

Very odd
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:58, Reply)

*Googles Alan Rickman also*
*races Wanderlust to the finish*
( girlinthehole, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:58, Reply)

Somewhat on topic: imgs.xkcd.com/comics/indecision.png
( Captain V, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:03, Reply)

@BGB
Are we playing the female equivalent of soggy biscuit?

Edit: Whoops I directed that at clendrix first, maybe it's more the kind of thing I'd expect from her.
( wanderlust, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:05, Reply)

Afternoon all
Is everybody having a good time?

@DiT Now you know about the 'Evil That Fluffs^TM.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:05, Reply)

I hate to drag it back to the LHC but:
"Polite people will ask "Do you mind if I smoke?" when in a non-smoker's presence. Why haven't these scientists politely asked the world "Do you mind if I construct a machine that could suck the work through a black hole and into oblivion?". I'm sure I'll wake up on Thursday and have to go to work, but surely if people are going to play God, they need the massive majority to agree with it.

- LJ, UK, 4/9/2008 12:36"

Of course, the scientists should have contacted LJ before embarking on their experiment. Stupids!

Also, The Daily Mail keep up their record of responsible journalism
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:06, Reply)

@Wanderlust
I don't even want to know what soggy biscuit is.

Seems like a waste of a good biscuit if you ask me.
( girlinthehole, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:09, Reply)

DiT
I'll see that and raise you this:

A waste of time and money. Cosmology and the theory of everything, will come about only if man excepts. That mass is directily proportionally to Gravity. Making Gravity the creator of Mass.

, Southampton



I Really hope this is not a dangerous experiment becuz u must have been out of your mind putting the world in danger.And its better to spent all those billions and millions of dollars on poor and homeless people.

, MALTA


Recommended by 0 people

they have spent 13 yrs makingthis huge contraption and it could destroy the earth in a matter of seconds well done *thumbs up to you*

, Blackpool


Recommended by 0 people


eds: damn you pasty clicky thing
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:11, Reply)

@BGB
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=soggy+biscuit
( wanderlust, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:13, Reply)

Well
at least the mail had a good picture to go with it's crap!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:13, Reply)

@Wanderlust
You had to link it didn't you......and so I had to read the link because it's there. *laughs*
( girlinthehole, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:16, Reply)

wanderlust!
You expected that from me?

*happies*

DOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seeing you later or not?
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:16, Reply)

I have just had
a name plate delivered to my desk.
Incase I forget who I am? No one else comes in here so I don't know who'd need to know.
Hmmmmm I think people are plotting something.
( wanderlust, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:17, Reply)

Lusty
I am obliged for that link, just so I could scroll down and discover the meaning of 'Soggy Party-Bottom'.

I am fulfilled
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:18, Reply)

I've heard Stephen Hawking on the radio
a couple of times in the last couple of days.

He has unequivocally said that it won't do anything, and that is good enough for me. Particularly because if it creates black holes he'll almost certainly win the Nobel prize

also: not that I'd ever played it, but at my school it was referred to as Soggy Mr Biscuit.

makes it slightly more amusing

for reference, the female version was dubbed Fishy Mrs Wafer
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:19, Reply)

The bloody news has a lot to answer for.
At the end of 1999 when everyone was going on about the end of the world and computers collapsing et al. My 10 year old sister, in all seriousness, asks me on New Years Eve if the world was really going to end. She obviously had picked up snippets here and there and was worried.
( girlinthehole, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:19, Reply)

@clendrix
Not sure yet hun, but you never can tell.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:20, Reply)

For once
I am speechless. Please tell me this is a B3tan on a windup....

Unless speed of light is imparted to hadrons, they are on a wild goose chase. The results will just not be able to penetrate beyond the blinds. Consider a man being aroused to a point close to the climax, leaving him just short of ejaculation. Will he be ever able to describe orgasm and post-orgasmic hangover or will his body chemistry match with that of a ejaculating male? So attaining speed of light is paramount to their objective else its just good enough for Guinness book.

, Gurgaon


And for the muppet-ager of the year award....


i think it is stupid and it scared me and my friends so please dont do it AGAIN

, Omagh
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:24, Reply)

So we're still talking
about wanking and the LHC?

Good. Two of my top subjects of the moment.

When I was a teenager, I remember one year deciding to have a wank every night. I kept it up (as it were) for three months, on average.

I say on average, because I'd sometimes not do it for several nights then have to do four or five in one night to catch up!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:29, Reply)

Ah yes, wanking and LHC
So do multiple orgasms count as a single wank?

* strips off and does some more large hardon colliding *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:33, Reply)

K2k6
I would imagine that wanking and the doom machine go very well together for you, you science-loving dude.
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:34, Reply)

@osok
Only if no inter-wank detumescence occurs.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:34, Reply)

LHC wanking?
This may explain a bit... NSFW
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:37, Reply)

Some of these HSY replies
are good only to identify which individuals should be culled.

*gets stiffy at thought of LHC in operation*

Clendrix, I think you could be right.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:37, Reply)

Snigger
*imagines K2k6 cracking one off to the New Scientist*

I don't see what's so bad about creating a black hole anyway. It might be fun in there - I've certainly had lots of fun with holes over the years.
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:42, Reply)

Hi all, how are we?
my eldest asked her Biology teacher about the LHC stuff, and he logged the class PC into YouTube and showed them the rap video CERN made. Now that's what I call a teacher.

He than asked the class to consider how likely it was that the entire staff of CERN have a suicide pact? Not likely? Then they have every reason to believe it's safe.

I've told her the world isn't ending, but I'm only her mum, what do I know?
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:42, Reply)

What about cracking one out into the LHC?
That'd be one Hell of a money shot.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:44, Reply)

TWW
that does sound like a good teacher
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:45, Reply)

Right, that's it
I'm not reading any more Have Your Say responses as I feel the desire to curl up in a foetal position in the dark going 'the stupidity, the stupidity' a la Apocalypse Now.

Quote "I was physically sick with terror last night"

Fucking shame you didn't try 200 paracetomol as a cure.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:46, Reply)

Every time I see LHC written
I think of this.

(Worksafe, geeky and silly.)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:47, Reply)

Typical
A discussion on theoretical physics on b3ta turns into LHCs and black holes.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:47, Reply)

@Swan_Vesta
If more than one is cracking one out, we'd have to make sure the streams don't cross.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:49, Reply)

^osok
Love that paracetemol comment.
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:50, Reply)

sorry but I've had to look at HYS
this person has missed the point somewhat:

this experiment is a complete waste of time. we cannot destroy the whole earth, only God can.

Grace, London
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:50, Reply)

I remember being seriously scared
one time, thinking that the world (or at least the bit I inhabited) was ending - and soon. Sitting in our maths classroom, doing algebra if I recall correctly, and the nuclear siren located on the school roof went off.

This was the early eighties, during the cold war, and we thought it was for real. It stopped after a short time and we all just sat there, in a daze. The Headmaster then had to run round the entire school to tell each class that some dopey electrician had cut the wrong wire. They had to get an announcement out on local radio to the effect that the third world war had not started!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:56, Reply)

That person
probably defined "miss the point".
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:56, Reply)

himjim
I think you are right

TWW: that sounds pretty scary!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:58, Reply)

Could we create a special black hole
just for the stupidity of the stupid HYSers and when they've all been sucked up, slingshot it out the soular-system?

Anyway, I'll be back soon. I'm ... erm ... in search of the Higgs Boson.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:02, Reply)

I've just chucked my two'pennethworth on HYS
Let's see if the mods allow it :)

lol @ Spakka.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:03, Reply)

@Swan
what did you say - and what name did you use? This will save me having to trawl through the idiots.

Edit: Vipros, I believe a couple of first years had to be taken home in tears..... poor wee souls, thought they were going to die as 12 year old virgins.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:06, Reply)

Yup
What TWW said.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:07, Reply)

I'll have you know
that Have Your Say is bloody important. You left wing liberal immigrant fucks want to try and take another one of my god-given rights?

I will retain the right to bigoted and hateful speech until the day I die! Bloody immigrants, killing unicorns and then getting free council houses. They're the problem. Why can't you see?

/end sarcasm
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:11, Reply)

I'm back
Couldn't find that elusive Higgs Boson.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:14, Reply)

@TWW
I posted as Dave from Sheffield - In retrospect I should have copied what I wrote but it wasn't overly complimentary about some of the luddites on HYS ....... I even chucked in a little Bill Hicks for good measure.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:15, Reply)

Can't see it
Maybe didn't get past the mods.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:19, Reply)

I'm very sad
that Weasel revealed he was being sarcastic in that last post of his.
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:21, Reply)

@Swan
You'll never get past the mods if you call them luddites!

Bloody fascists. But what about my house value, forrins, etc...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:21, Reply)

I was subtle &
savvy enough not to call them names - I think the comments are added in moderated batches so there may be a faint hope.

*EDIT*
There's a moderation queue of about 1400 posts *eek!*
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:24, Reply)

@ Clendrix
Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.

Should I try and mean it that time? Would that help?

Bloody Islamic Paedophile Speed Cameras. Bastards, the lot of them.
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:27, Reply)

This one? It mentions luddites
"I see the normal ignorant luddites have crawled out from under their collective rocks again."
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:30, Reply)

I try hard not to think about
the fact that half of humanity is statistically below average intelligence, that there is a strong representation of idiots on the belm curve.

Then I read shit like the stuff you guys have been copying from that site and feel the despair engulfing me again...

Fuck. Is it too early for me to start drinking over here?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:32, Reply)

Loon
No, it is not too early to start drinking.

It's always beer o'clock somewhere in the world ....

Edit: OMG, I just popped over to HYS and the debate over migrant workers is even worse than the LHC one! Veins are popping out all over the country! Linky for TRL:

newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?sortBy=1&forumID=5325&edition=1&ttl=20080910160457&#paginator
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:34, Reply)

Islamic Paedophile Speed Cameras
Could be the name of a new pop group. Or a b3ta image challenge.

Re HYS comments: I don't have an HYS account. Do those who can log in get to see the unapproved rants come in as they are submitted?

As for theoretical physics, the world would be a safer place if theoretical physicists would mastrubate instead of carrying out potentially Earth-destroying experiments.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:34, Reply)

It's never too early
Especially not when discussing such depressingly idiotic examples of mankind.
( Captain V, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:34, Reply)

Weasel
When you started having a go at the liberals, I got excited.
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:34, Reply)

@clendrix
Careful.
Don't go drenching your wee, pocket Brazilian!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:38, Reply)

Ah Clendrix
But I myself am one of those bleeding heart liberals.

I kid, I kid, I'm as moderate as they come.

I was reading the immigration debate, it's really quite impressive. Especially considering the sheer bloody mindedness of some people.

"We need to freeze immigration completely until all UK workers are employed". I'd like to see these folks try and persuade Shaznay, who's about to have her fourth child, or Gaz the crackhead try and hold down a 9-5. Somebody claimed that by only giving benefits to over 21s, the unemployed 16 - 21 year olds would flood to agriculture, driving down food prices?

...How do these people function? Seriously now, I'm surprised more of them don't die doing simple household tasks.
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:40, Reply)

SuperWeasel
if only they did die doing those tasks...

*sighs* we can dream

if HYS is a representative sample of the population then the biggest worry we have in this world is that at least half of people are completely fucking stupid.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:44, Reply)

BK
You're right!
In fact *adjusts sitting position* that's better. Poor chap.
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:44, Reply)

If they flooded to agriculture
it would increase food prices, because of all the extra workers we'd have to pay. Agriculture requires very few people these days, as it's so mechanised.

Edit - 'moff home. See you all tomorrow.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:44, Reply)

If anyone fancies an even more depressing read
A debate about illegal immigrants on the Sun Discussions board.

www.thesun.co.uk/discussions/posts/list/Should_We_Give_Amnesty_To_Illegal_Immigrants~63~-104389.page
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:46, Reply)

There's that old quote, isn't there..
"I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?" - Source unknown.

How we can dream...
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:46, Reply)

Good afternoon lovely peoples!
I haven't read all of today's chat, but there seems to be lots of seriousness/depressing chat. The worst thing to happen to me so far today is that my msn didn't work when I turned on my computer, so...

*does happy jiggle dance*
(Moniker, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:47, Reply)

SW
that is totally apt and should be done

H+S these days has a lot to answer for

*glares around for Grammar Badger*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:49, Reply)

Why the glaring?
What has GB done?
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:50, Reply)

she works in health and safety
clearly all her fault
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:51, Reply)

A pox on that profession!
and all who sail within her!

It's not so much H+S to blame, but more people's idiocy. If they weren't told not to try and make toast in the bath, perhaps Darwinism would come into play more.

I suppose it would shut up the Creationism folks as well.

2 birds, 1 stone.
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:53, Reply)

Even more bizarre yet...
I assume that you lot know who John McCain is, right? Republican nominee for president over here?

sports.espn.go.com/espn/e60/news/story?id=3571491

I think I need to go defecate.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:53, Reply)

On a completely unrelated note.
It's confirmed - I have a definite job-offer.

Just got my 'draft offer' through the e-mail. It's a PDF document and I cannot print it out. Does anyone know how I can bypass the 'security permission' on a PDF document so I can print it out (apart from using PRT-SCRN and saving the resulting image)?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:54, Reply)

himjim
That link's the best laugh I've had in ages. I particularly love:

We should tell them we're having an amnesty and giving free cash at the police station, then arrest them and boot them out chained up in the back of RAF Hercules. No point wasting money chartering commercial planes.
new_lizard

What a genius.
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:54, Reply)

I just find it unfathomable
that people can seriously believe that the earth is only 4000 years old or whatever it is they think.

how someone can actually believe that, and yet go through life using modern technology without shrieking "aaarrrgh! witchcraft!" every few minutes, is beyond me!

I'm fully prepared to accept that there is some kind of divine being should one show their face(s), but I also believe it when a huge consensus of smart people tell me that the earth is 4.5 billion years old because they can offer a reason for it. might not be right, but at least it's better than "because I have faith" or "because that's what some bugger wrote in this here book"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:57, Reply)

@ TRL
Why is that even worth writing an article about?!

@ spakka
Woo! Nice one! *does happy dance*
(Moniker, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:58, Reply)

@ Clendix
One delightful chap by the name of ogrod's response was:

"Round them up . DIg one big hole .Apply one crack squad of shooters . And so endeath the lesson . Fill in gently but firmly."

I'm sure you can be locked up for saying less. Madness...

These people are allowed to vote!

@Spakka: Copy/Paste contents of the PDF into the text editor of your choice? Will that work?
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:59, Reply)

Weasel
I love laughing at these people from the relative safety of my office!
The irony that they should be the ones to suggest culling others...
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:02, Reply)

*bangs head on desk*
A conversation about DNA in in flow
Me: Yeah because we are over 90% the same as a banana I believe.
Boss: That's why I keep slipping up then!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:03, Reply)

spakka
try this

http://www.a-pdf.com/security/restrictions_remover.htm

or this one

a-pdf
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:03, Reply)

Clendrix
Don't be making a rookie mistake.

Every office/place of work has the token Sun/Mail reader.

From prior experience: Do NOT poke the idiot on this one. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:03, Reply)

Here I am
newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?sortBy=1&forumID=5325&edition=1&ttl=20080910170023&#paginator

Under Onestringedbanjo Sheffield Yay!
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:04, Reply)

I don't think you should have done that Dave
/HAL

good comment Swany!

hopefully mine will get on their soon too. not as good as yours though
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:07, Reply)

'Kin 'ell, Swan!
I signed in to HYS just to give that a click! Majestic!

And top hole Spakka! Well done!

EDIT: @ WonderStoat: 2 Birds, 1 stone? Is that like 2 girls, 1 cup?

Nearly hometime!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:11, Reply)

Weasel
I'm the only one in my office :/
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:12, Reply)

Clendrix
Outstanding work. No bloody illegals to bother you there, eh?

They're probably all at the benefits office anyway.

/smokes pipe
/reads Daily Mail
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:13, Reply)

*Blushes*
Cheers guys - I can't abide the bovine masses so lampoon them at every opportunity.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:13, Reply)

Hey!
I just noticed I was getting glared at :(

But it's home time so I am not longer an evil H&S monkey. Well until tomorrow! Bye all :)x
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:14, Reply)

Oi, Clenders!
Are you going tonight? Is anyone else, for that matter?

I'm going, but not for long. And I don't feel very well right now. :(
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:14, Reply)

Tightly!
I sure am, and Kaol is on his way there as we type.

Please come and play!

Weasel: it's fun being angry about everything. But remember I have to be the token representative for everything, being as I'm on me todd.
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:15, Reply)

I'm deciding whether to go
Mr VP doesnt want to come and I've only just arrived in London. I want to see people but I also don't want to abandon him.
hmmm.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:16, Reply)

I'm off home but will leave you with this
"It's a telling statistic that those posters arguing against the LHC are those with the poorest grasp of spelling and/or gammar.

Those who impede scientific progress should be denied the benefits it brings.

Graeme, York"

That could start a very interesting debate.

I'll see those of you bashing tonight at the bash. Toodles.
( Captain V, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:17, Reply)

I'll be there then!
But only as you asked nicely, Clenders! :)

Seriously can't be long out though, busy day tomorrow!

@LvP, please come or I shall cry. I'm wearing tights and everything*! You don't have to be with us for ages, but it'd be nice to meet you!

*not actually wearing tights.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:22, Reply)

Yay for Tightly!
I'm not looking for a late one either, tbh.
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:23, Reply)

What I would like to know
is how long does the average person last as a "Moderator" on HYS before they chuck themselves off a bridge? Does the job come with a hotline to the Samaritans?

Some poor sod at the BBC has to read each and every comment written and, presumably, make a balanced decision whether to post it or not.

Has to qualify as "less fun than cleaning out a dog's bottom" surely?
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:26, Reply)

^I think you're right there, TWW!
Hang on, it's you!

*hugattacks*

EDIT: I suspect that they lety a lot of the rot on there because reading comments that have abandoned all rational thought are clearly more devisive and promote healthier debate than well thought out, intelligent posts.

Maybe. Or something.

Either way, as long as any HYSer can somehow get their comments back to Tony bLIAR, Nu LaBORE, or Forrins, they're happy.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:28, Reply)

@Wee Witch
I'd LOVE that job! Really! I'd spend all day alternating between hysteria and despair, but it'd be such a laugh.
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:29, Reply)

I won't be coming tonight
but I'll be coming to the next two London bashes and the Southampton one, and a secret micro-bash.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:30, Reply)

@Vipros
Thanks for the link. However, I found the registration process to be a bit of a pain in the ass, so I just resorted to PRT-SCRN'ing the whole thing (only 3 pages).

@SuperWeasel
The security restrictions prevent me from doing that. Thankfully, my PRT-SCRN-foo is strong.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:32, Reply)

Southampton bash?!
I'm moving there soon!

/excited
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:33, Reply)

DiT

*accepts hugattack*

Nope, not me, sorry. If it was me, they'd all have to put their full names, postal addresses and telephone numbers on their posts. That'd show up the ones with the courage of their convictions. It would also allow for random petrol-bombings of idiots, which is never a bad thing, now is it?
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:34, Reply)

Right Groovers
I'm going to leave the office and walk down to Covent Garden to meet some internet weirdos.

Wish me luck!
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:40, Reply)

Future QOTW Bashes
You can see them on the calendar, or there's a list of upcoming QOTW bashes here (not including the microbashes).

EDIT: Have fun clendrix. They may be weirdo, but they're weird in the nice and cuddly kind of way.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:42, Reply)