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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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The mouldy old cunts in charge of the country have clearly got too much time on their hands again.
A long list of sex acts just got banned in UK porn.
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:37, 145 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
who cares

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:42, Reply)
oh this is one of the ones that has me on two point oh :(

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:51, Reply)
you're a notorious online bully

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:54, Reply)
am not

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:56, Reply)
STOP BULLYING DOZO.

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:57, Reply)
stop shouting at me :'(

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:58, Reply)
as long as foot fetish is still allowed I couldn't give a shit.
Lol.
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:44, Reply)
this is not relevant to my interests

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:45, Reply)
It doesn't appear to affect my wanking habits either

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:46, Reply)
I know you can still get all that as long as it was filmed outside of the UK
so I am fine
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:47, Reply)
As long as they ban mouldy old cunts I am happy

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:47, Reply)
YM will just have to accept lower paid acting jobs then

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:49, Reply)
She IS the mouldy old cunt
all is revealed
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:52, Reply)
lol wut?

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:49, Reply)
something about John Major being pegged by Edwina Currie

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:55, Reply)
Oh I thought it was about that pedophile ring story that's clouding the entire upper echelon of the ruling elite and is now threatening to include Buckingham Palace.

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:56, Reply)
Technically
it's not too late to make "A Right Royal Rodgering".
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:58, Reply)
still ... at least house prices are increasing wildly ahead of the rest of inflation

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:58, Reply)
Yes. Good.
I'm sitting on a gold mine. I'm going to invest in bargepoles with which to push away povvos swimming to shelter come the floods.
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:10, Reply)

to push away povvos swimming to shelter come the floods nobody will touch mine
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:37, Reply)
Bummer

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:07, Reply)
Pardon?

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:21, Reply)
Hey, fuck you you fucking pointless cunt.
I don't even know who you are.

FUCK YOU!
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:13, Reply)
^ Upset con BONGLE

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:20, Reply)
Its not very nice being 2.0d is it jay?

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:28, Reply)
Penetration by any object "associated with violence"
Damn. Bottles of Stella up the mimsy are now a no-no.
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:16, Reply)
No chance of getting 'bible-bashed' either

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:17, Reply)
You'll have to use the imported stuff...

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:18, Reply)
Wonder if Emvee knows about this?
Star Wars figures must come under that definition also?
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:18, Reply)
I suppose it depends on the figures role in the file.
Darth and Luke are out of the question. The robots role is fairly peaceful though, so C3P0 in the twat is acceptable.
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:19, Reply)
don't be ridiculous
R2D2 goes in the twat. C3P0 goes up the arse.
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:28, Reply)
"they'll be back, and in greater numbers"

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:45, Reply)
Didn't someone do that on Big Brother

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:30, Reply)
Who buys porn?
All the best filth comes from overseas anyway
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:20, Reply)
I can't watch British porn.
Not since someone showed me a video with a yorkshire woman taking it up the shitter and saying in the most deadpan way possible "Ooh, that's 'reet good!"
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:21, Reply)
reet petite

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:23, Reply)
She really wasn't.
Yorkshire, remember?
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:24, Reply)
I can't stand it either, to be honest.
In as much as it's possible for porn to be classy, porn from literally anywhere else in the world seems to be classier than what's made in Britain. They seem to have rounded up the cheapest, most plasticky heifers in the land and told them to moan like they're eating the world's most deliciously lardy cheeseburger for minutes on end.
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:32, Reply)
now we're getting SEXY

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:35, Reply)
I saw a Geordie version, but the actress had a spark plug shoved up her arse.
'Oooh, Champion!'

(Might make a car parts geek smile).
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:29, Reply)
Ha! I hope this is true.

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:31, Reply)
Clearly not. I just made it up.

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:32, Reply)
this has ruined my entire day

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:36, Reply)
Good.

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:37, Reply)
horrid meanie

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:56, Reply)
'Wigan fatty fuck' is sordid and hilarious.

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:40, Reply)
and ridiculous
like anyone from wigan ever gets laid
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:42, Reply)
my mum's greatest oeuvre

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:56, Reply)
Simply take any noun and add 'ing' to the end of it
Hey Presto! You've just invented a sex act!
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:14, Reply)
nouning.

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:15, Reply)
disgusting

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:16, Reply)
tobogganing!

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:15, Reply)
filthy pig

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:16, Reply)
What about
FUCKing?
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:19, Reply)
is a fuck even a thing?

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:22, Reply)
not when you work in IT

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:23, Reply)
I am famously frigid.

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:33, Reply)
dry stone walling

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:20, Reply)
^pervert

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:21, Reply)
hey, YD taught me all i know

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:23, Reply)
And he's dead now
Really makes you think
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:26, Reply)
I was dry stone walling this weekend

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:27, Reply)
^falling down soggy house

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:29, Reply)
Wall around the garden that I am putting a new gate into but dismantled first
But thanks for asking
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:36, Reply)
is there anything right about that fucking house ?

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:39, Reply)
Yep
It is miles away from you.
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:43, Reply)
I don't like whiffy mildewy persons in any event, STAY AWAY FROM ME

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:45, Reply)
fisting
nah, can't see that meaning anything
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:20, Reply)
Well if we're just going to make things up....

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:21, Reply)
Of course; the best formula is
gerund + noun = euphemism
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:22, Reply)
Gerunding

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:33, Reply)
phoning

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:26, Reply)
On a Siemens

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:28, Reply)
WOAH WHATS WITH THE POTTY MOUTH

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:28, Reply)
i kind of want to live here
it has a wig room. a WIG ROOM.

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-42183655.html
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:33, Reply)
Doesn't seem like a lot toupee

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:36, Reply)
i am not sure if i want to clap you or get someone to give you the clap for that

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:36, Reply)
Sporty would just LTI me.
Where is he this week?
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:38, Reply)
doing YM with a strap-on whilst YD watches and takes notes

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:46, Reply)
+ and waits for his turn

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:48, Reply)
*syrupathy reply*

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:37, Reply)
It's got some tacky extensions.

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:38, Reply)
I'd say they were highlights.

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:39, Reply)
It's only likely to appeal to a fringe audience.

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:40, Reply)
Jay would like the Butlers Passageway though

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:40, Reply)
Depends on how fit the Butler is really.

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 17:03, Reply)
Any excuse to weave a pun in.

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:46, Reply)
Hair today, gone tomorrow

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 17:04, Reply)
More like a Whig room for you
eh eh eh

no oh ok
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:38, Reply)
On a Saturday, hair pieces would be kept in the garden.
#Whigfield
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:39, Reply)
LTI

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:44, Reply)
everyone would like you too as well :)
plz don't bother getting internet there
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:41, Reply)
stick your head dobber up your arse
kthxbai
(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:45, Reply)
I sang this as a football chant

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:48, Reply)
Does he have to take it off first?

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:53, Reply)
Can I go home yet?

(, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:50, Reply)

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