I'm going to scramble some eggs for lunch.
And serve them on toast.

How would you cook a lunchtime egg?

LUNCH!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 11:37, 125 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

sous vide

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 11:39, Reply)

and the banshees

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 11:40, Reply)

officelol

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 11:47, Reply)

I tried that a little while ago.
Classic prawn cocktail, in a sanger, sous vide with calamari and a curried version of chicken.

SOUS VIDE QUATTRO

I meant to post this under Jeffers' :(
( Kroney, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 11:44, Reply)

Well have a 'lol' anyway.
For 'trying'.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 11:56, Reply)

Special needs lol :(

( Kroney, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:06, Reply)

You wouldn't want those on the back of your knackers.

( Kroney, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 11:42, Reply)

poached, on a decent bit of soda bread, bacon spinach and hollandaise. touch of salt and pepper.
Eggs taste too good to fuck with them too much.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Dec 2014, 11:43, Reply)

fried, ontop of either gammon or a big beef steak and chips.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 11:44, Reply)

surprisingly less bent an answer than we might have expected.
I was expecting 'I'd use them to make a quiche because I'm a chutney'.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 11:48, Reply)

Unless all of the above is a euphemism.......

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 11:49, Reply)

yes
A gammon is a surprisingly hair free older man

And well I think we can all guess what a "big Beef Steak" is
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 11:54, Reply)

Hey our jaysin isn't *just* a chutney, he's fat too you know

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 11:49, Reply)

mangoo chutney

( Kroney, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 11:50, Reply)

Not just a chutney, an M&S chutney.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 11:51, Reply)

Fat with a PH, YO!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 11:52, Reply)

PH YO? That's as close as you'd get to a PhD I suppose

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 11:54, Reply)

Jay already has a
PhDeacon.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 11:58, Reply)

The only PHD I need is my pretty huge d

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 11:58, Reply)

+ildo

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:01, Reply)

No D in the back

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:07, Reply)

I cook man food in the kitchen.
(also not a euphemism)

Im doing a lovely chicken, chorizo and three bean stew tomorrow.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 11:53, Reply)

You might need more than 3 beans
I would suggest at least 50 each of various types
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 11:55, Reply)

Dad-style cracker jokes are so ...
shit.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:02, Reply)

Irony check pls

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:07, Reply)

By chucking it at a fucking wall.
Eggs is grim unless they're in an omelette or such-and-such.

In Poland I had a sour flour soup, which had a boiled egg cut up into it.

It was ... memorable.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 11:52, Reply)

So... omelette then?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 11:53, Reply)

hahaah

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 11:55, Reply)

Yeah, go on. Ham n' cheese in mine, please.
And no Winner's Sauce.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 11:58, Reply)

i like the taste of eggs, but the texture of egg white is gross, so nothing poached or boiled or fried
an omelette or scrambled eggs or chopped up in mayonnaise with cracked black pepper for a sandwich would all be fine. anything else can fuck off, slippery little suckers.

there is a cafe near me and frog that does excellent omelettes. i like mine with feta and red onion and mushroom and pesto. mouthwrong frog has his with sausage and bacon and ham and cheddar. and a sausage on the side "for luck".

lunch? chunky minestrone and pesto soup, baby.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:04, Reply)

'tasty little cunts, i'd eat the shit out of it'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:09, Reply)

you're learning

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:14, Reply)

You're buying

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:15, Reply)

pffffffft

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:15, Reply)

Okay I will then

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:15, Reply)

if that scrooge cunt gets on with counting out the bonus money

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:19, Reply)

No bonus for you this year

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:20, Reply)

I will receive a bonus as i am awesome

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:26, Reply)

oooh bonus
westfield time
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:20, Reply)

Timberland store yesssssss

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:21, Reply)

N'Syncs^

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:26, Reply)

I'd probably boil a lunchtime one
If it was for breakfast, I'd go with scrambling.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:06, Reply)

Beef & Cheese sandwiches
Its snowing.

Unrelated, is Agnostic Antichrist still knocking around? I could ask him myself by my phone is elsewhere
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:09, Reply)

yes but not as often as he used to be
he's on fb more
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:14, Reply)

Oh.
Did he regale everybody with tales of woe before his departure?
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:26, Reply)

not really
more like tales of his lunch, like every other fat fucker on here...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:36, Reply)

this is funny, because it's coming from you

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:41, Reply)

unlike anything you post
which is never ever funny, coming from you
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 13:10, Reply)

Furry muff

( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:48, Reply)

it's either cheeseburger from BK
or a Tower Zinger and 20 hot wings.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:10, Reply)

I've never got along with KFC.
It always smells rancid in there. Ditto Subway.
( Kroney, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:11, Reply)

You are the only other person I have seen say that about subway
I used to have to walk past one to work and there is a horrible greasy artificial smell
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:12, Reply)

I can't really describe it, but it fucking honks.

( Kroney, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:14, Reply)

I know what you mean.
it's a bit "socky".
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:16, Reply)

Yeah, it's a sort of musty, chemically smell
It's gross. Really gets in the back of your nose.
( Kroney, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:18, Reply)

#footlong

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:25, Reply)

agreed

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:20, Reply)

Smells like vomit and disinfectant

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:30, Reply)

Just like yo mumma's snatch

( Kroney, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:34, Reply)

burger king boss, no contest

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:12, Reply)

Yeah. Double whopper with cheese and large onion rings,
Don't forget the diet coke. Because 1300 calories is quite enough.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:16, Reply)

Chilli cheese bites just sayin

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:17, Reply)

mac'n'cheese bites ftw
because mac'n'cheese isn't bad enough for you, we deepfried it in breadcrumbs, and made it tasty as SHIT.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:20, Reply)

Do they do them at Burger King?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:21, Reply)

No, then SHUT UP

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:22, Reply)

+aroni

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:34, Reply)

shitaroni?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:36, Reply)

oh my little pretty one, pretty one, when you gonna give me some shitaroni

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:42, Reply)

if you get anything other than a BK and onion rings, you're a cunt

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:20, Reply)

Double Whopper with cheese FTW.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:16, Reply)

Make it a meal.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:23, Reply)

Without question. Accompanied with a fat coke.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:24, Reply)

Just because you're dole scum doesn't mean you have to behave like one

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:29, Reply)

I hope you wear a golden cardboard crown whilst you dine.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:30, Reply)

It's all fun and games until someone asks who owns the be-crowned downs child sobbing in the corner

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:33, Reply)

I thought your kids had stopped taking you there
For that very reason.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:39, Reply)

Why does Kroney only have one egg for breakfast?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:23, Reply)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:24, Reply)

because although his new job is more satisfying he gets paid less

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:24, Reply)

one egg is un oueff.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:24, Reply)

jelly.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2432003
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:26, Reply)

This is my favourite joke

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:27, Reply)

I think I spelt egg wrong in french, but you can get fucked if you think I'm going to Google it.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:28, Reply)

oeuf i think

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:37, Reply)

get fucked

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:46, Reply)

sous vide natch

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:26, Reply)

bindun fucko

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:27, Reply)

I ent reading All this shit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:28, Reply)

you probably don't have time now you're only allowed on the Internet on your shit breaks

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:30, Reply)

Today I am doing work with profound international consequences!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:32, Reply)

i'm waiting for a bonus which doesn't appear forthcoming, spend up will have to wait until next weekend despite me having made profits to cover my months wages this very morning alone

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:35, Reply)

Just think the delicious tang of new trainers will be even sweeter when it does come through

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:39, Reply)

i just really thought it would be today

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:44, Reply)

it's not even 1. hang on in there friend.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:46, Reply)

thanks pal, it's just so exciting yet disappointing at the same time

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:51, Reply)

Stay strong
#thankful #blessed
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:51, Reply)

eggy cup

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:35, Reply)

+two girls one

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:38, Reply)

beefy eggo

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:43, Reply)

BIG EGGEE

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 12:48, Reply)

Fried in a sandwich with bacon and tomato sauce.
Lots of butter. I can get away with it as I'm not a fatty.
( Muns, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 13:00, Reply)

brown sauce, you fucking monster

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 13:43, Reply)

I've just had a chicken pie for 'brunch'.
Now I'm having a pint.

I love busy days like this.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 13:01, Reply)

cheese and ham omelette, chips and beans.
it's fucken lush.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Dec 2014, 13:08, Reply)