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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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whatever.
It's my birthday. get me a present.
alt. frog has flounced apparently. Get him a present.
altalt. Lunch. You fat fucks

/ac
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 12:44, 186 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
I dunt reckon any MPs are angry about that report not coming out.

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 12:44, Reply)
Still seething about my rejection eh?
First cut is the deepest
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 12:49, Reply)
What rejection?

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 12:51, Reply)
Yes, I bet there are many

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 12:59, Reply)
What?

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 12:44, Reply)
YOU LIED!!
Im glad though
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 12:48, Reply)
Happy birthday m8

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 12:51, Reply)
Is this my present?

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 12:54, Reply)
oh that hasn't arrived yet. I definitely ordered it. Bloody post office.

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 12:54, Reply)
ooh happy birthday
are you out tonight?

alt: no.

altalt: probably a £10 salad, i'm thinking with a brown rice base.
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 12:50, Reply)
I like the base base base base

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 12:53, Reply)
no treble

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 12:54, Reply)
Saturday afternoon cocktails :)

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 12:54, Reply)
I'm sure there's a funny strikethrough to be had here...

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 12:56, Reply)
INORITE!
He's actually going out on Sunday!!!11!
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 12:57, Reply)

cock pin

My third favourite duck.
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:02, Reply)
I can't be the only one wondering which ducks hold the coveted first and second places.

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:14, Reply)
I don't actually have favourite ducks.
Sorry.

I quite like coots. And foie gras.
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:16, Reply)
Where do you stand on widgeon?

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:42, Reply)
the neck

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:43, Reply)
Happy birthday Jay
Just had some miserable Sainsburys misery for lunch
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 12:57, Reply)
:( Soggy sandwiches.
Im having thai infused salmon and salad, those of you who were wondering.
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 12:58, Reply)
That sounds quite nice that
Who is Madeleine Ashton?
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 12:59, Reply)
Death Becomes Her

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:06, Reply)
Right up your Streep

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:08, Reply)
my pal just texted me to tell me he'd had 'a bag of doughnuts'

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 12:59, Reply)
Oh man
I want a doughnut now
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:04, Reply)
I have a voucher for buy 12 get 12 free for Crispy Kremes
But there's nowhere close to me that sells them :(((

BTW who actually likes custard doughnuts? Fucking rank
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:13, Reply)
i like them, the worst ones are apple, factfans

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:14, Reply)
Raspberry is the only acceptable filling
Apple should stick to pies and crumbles
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:16, Reply)
i had a salted caramel and banana one, it was £3.50. it was worth it.

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:17, Reply)
filled and iced donuts are shit and for cunts

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:15, Reply)
jesus christ
how Wrong can one human being be?

terribly, it seems.
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:16, Reply)
custard ones are grim
but they do nice iced ones. and some of the filled ones are ok, like the lemon meringue, but you need about 3 sittings to get through them.

the worst was the one my sister-in-law bought in harrods - the harrods krispy kreme was about £6, was stuffed full of and piled high with chocolate, and said HARRODS on the top in gold leaf. she didn't eat until the following day.
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:18, Reply)
I see gold leaf used a lot by top chefs on things like the Great British Menu
It always looks shit and tacky and a lot of hassle. I don't know why they bother
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:22, Reply)
harrods clearly agreed, they booted krispy kreme out about 3 years ago i think

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:31, Reply)
I fancy some brown food.

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:01, Reply)
typical paki

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:02, Reply)
actually ... yeah ... a massive pile of pakora and some awful indian lagerbeer would go down smashing

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:03, Reply)
bit racist

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:07, Reply)
casual racism is OK on here since all the decent people left

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:08, Reply)
anyone objecting to comedy racism is a coon.

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:10, Reply)
edgy as always

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:22, Reply)
^ fat bald coon

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:36, Reply)
happy birthday babe xx

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:02, Reply)
fuck off dozers

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:07, Reply)
have a wonderful day hun xx
35 again!
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:08, Reply)
Im 33. You pierced prick.

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:15, Reply)
hahaha, yeah, righto m8

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:16, Reply)
course you are, grampa george

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:16, Reply)
haha yeah wotevs you fat bald poof

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:18, Reply)
I just ordered this for you:
www.superflyrecords.com/item/2/0-2407-0-1-0/117336712/the-jazz-workshop-mezare-israel-yekabtzenu.html

Although, I don't know where you live, so I've had it delivered to my work.
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:05, Reply)
You shouldn't have...













No, really. You shouldn't have
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:06, Reply)
Well if you're going to be like that about it, I'll just keep it for myself.
Ungrateful wretch.
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:09, Reply)
Happy Birthday GJ! 21 again eh?
Go get yourself some birthday sex, my treat.

Lunch was a half bottle of cheap whiskey and a sausage roll that qualified as pig product due to the baker once watching Babe.
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:10, Reply)
I'm having one of them sausage rolls with the pickle in it.
It's 'alright'.
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:12, Reply)
Do you prefer your sausage rolls heated or cold?
I prefer cold myslef but apparently this is 'wrong'
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:14, Reply)
heated. nothin worse than cold, flaky pastry

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:21, Reply)
Hot or cold is great
Hot with beans is fucking NOM
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:22, Reply)
Since a friend suggested chucking some curry powder into beans thats the only way I can eat them now

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:25, Reply)
Are you actually a student?

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:26, Reply)
Yeah right, like students can afford beans!

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:27, Reply)
cheesy beans

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:27, Reply)
yes!

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:32, Reply)
*Northern fives*

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:37, Reply)
Indeed

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:38, Reply)
Happy birthday. I hope you get shitfaced later.
fac cock
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:16, Reply)
haha!
Excellent strikethroughage
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:23, Reply)
Not on school night. Mid week birthdays are shit.

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:27, Reply)
take the day off
what sort of eejit works on their birthday?
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:29, Reply)
I know. I generally do but it's not like it's a big age or owt.

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:30, Reply)
are we still pretending it's not your *cough*tieth?

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:32, Reply)
Im 33. I have nothing to hide

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:38, Reply)
...except a massive bald patch

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:38, Reply)


(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:40, Reply)
I nearly worked on my 23rd birthday

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:30, Reply)
23 was the last year that me and Twinshambles did the "drink per year" game
it went really really well
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:35, Reply)
see also january birthdays
what kind of cunt is born in january?
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:31, Reply)
YD

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:33, Reply)
people whose parents fucked for an April Fool gag

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:33, Reply)
fat bald Aids cunts

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:37, Reply)
well I never!
I'll have you know I share a birthday with Emma Bunton!
who was also my fave Spice Girl
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:40, Reply)
I share a birthday with my dad and swipes dad
who is also my favourite dad
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:42, Reply)
One year closer to your inevitable lonely death in an aids hospice

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:40, Reply)
Save me a seat!

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:41, Reply)
I'm not coming to visit you dear, beg all you want.

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:43, Reply)
Hay look ! B3th was on the telly this morning !
metro.co.uk/2015/01/21/74-year-old-cougar-gets-live-vagacial-on-this-morning-5030307/?ito=facebook
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:41, Reply)
Oh wow, I'm totes excited about getting a 'dry, sagging vagina' when I'm older

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:43, Reply)
you can smear a useless lotion of egg and honey onto it right now if you want
no need to wait until you're a granny
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:46, Reply)
Okay, I've got my appetite back and I'm now unnaturally horny
Hangovers are weird
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:41, Reply)
what size

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:48, Reply)
this size----<-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:49, Reply)
again, go down the post, find one of those tubes for sending out plans and blueprints and have yourself some lovely lady time.

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 14:26, Reply)
Happy Anniversary of touching vagina
Altalt: I had a chicken burger and fries from the Italian takeout place next door to work. Pretty good actually.
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:47, Reply)
Those wops are famed for their chicken burgers.

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 14:02, Reply)
They do all sorts of burgers
I just fancied chicken, you sarky bastard.
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 14:29, Reply)
Madeline

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 13:56, Reply)
GAY!

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 14:07, Reply)
*edits*

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 14:11, Reply)
how can you have a birthday if you're gay?
Alt: no he hasn't. He loves us all too much.
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 14:22, Reply)
I'M STILL A PERSON!!

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 14:24, Reply)
incorrect

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 14:25, Reply)

son vert
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 14:33, Reply)
soft boiled egg
slightly salted and peppered and served on a cold plate.
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 14:26, Reply)
This is to stick up my rectum, not to eat.

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 14:27, Reply)
good.

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 14:27, Reply)
so the sunny side shines out?

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 14:31, Reply)
Has anyone ever done the egg in a bottle thing
where you create a small vacuum (burning a match) in a bottle with a neck that is too small for an egg to fit in then place the boiled egg on top and it get sucked in.
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 14:37, Reply)

egg cock


Somebody's bound to have tried it.....and some A&E nurse is bound to have seen the aftermath.
(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 14:44, Reply)
It would take a lot of bottle

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 14:47, Reply)
New thread

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 14:38, Reply)
will there be nudity in this so called new thread?

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 14:39, Reply)
If you ask nicely, yes

(, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 14:42, Reply)

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