Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
MORNHOLES(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 7:32,
160 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
Sometime in the mornholeA simple thought may occur to you,
And you hold her,
And tell her all the things you never told her.
Your love has shown me things
I never thought I could see;
I didn't know
It could be done so easily.
Now I know
You're where it is for me.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 8:16,
Reply)
I found it depressingly straight and trite.(
d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 8:20,
Reply)
I'm totally gay for Goffin and King(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 8:25,
Reply)
What's the omnivore option?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 8:28,
Reply)
I had a depressing coffee which had skin on it(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 8:33,
Reply)
depressing sex
I smoked on her balcony as far as I remember I put the fags in the ashtray but who knows.
Went for lunch the next day.
Went to euston.
(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 8:35,
Reply)
I'll pull out something really original like 'lol ginger' next.(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 8:41,
Reply)
no doubt, i don't know how this forum kept going without you reposting old unfunny shit from years ago(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 8:43,
Reply)
Everyone else reposting old unfunny shit from years ago would be my guess(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 8:53,
Reply)
Apparently, Plan B was decent in the Harry Brown filmAccording to Kroney and 2012 'Bill Clay'. I can't even remember him being in it now.
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 8:59,
Reply)
he was the naughty teenager that said 'pussy'ole' a lot iirc(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:00,
Reply)
Deep down, don't we all want to be swept off our feet.....taken to Nando's, plied with the second cheapest wine on the menu by faux-candle lamp and to the sound of romantic world music and then inexpertly pleasured?
(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 8:43,
Reply)
Cheers, I was stuck what to do for our 15th wedding anniversary(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 8:52,
Reply)
it's the last - possibly the only - time that anything genuinely amusing happened on here(, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:07, Reply)
thing is though, with a wife as jabba as yours it's difficult to be shocked at how fat anyone is(, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 8:42, Reply)
wank wank wanky wanky wank wank(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 8:44,
Reply)
please don't die, we need yougodammit, *i* need you
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 8:47,
Reply)
Another glorious day on the boardSomeone in the office is talking with food in her mouth. She's a scouser too. I think that's enough grounds for a mercy killing.
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 8:51,
Reply)
be carefulIf she's got any gcses and didn't have a kid before the age of 15 she's a protected species.
(
Muns, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 8:59,
Reply)
She's a pint-sized leathery harridan with dyed bright red hair and an obsession with shoesI'm thinking a stiletto heel to the jugular is the way to go
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:03,
Reply)
phwoar!sounds like a dozer y/n situation. In that case I'll go y
(
$$ ✅, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:08,
Reply)
^ fantasising about sex with colleagues(
d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:03,
Reply)
too busy too busy too busyon top of everything else, urgent squatters case came in last night, they're totally trashing the place, sigh.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:18,
Reply)
No, it's got squatters living in it.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:27,
Reply)
To summarise: Not now it isn't, it's got squatters living in it(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:28,
Reply)
I think they should just let them stay(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:29,
Reply)
i'm sure you've got a garden they could live in? give us your address, i'll send the bailiff down there to ask them if they fancy moving
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:31,
Reply)
They might not like the alternative lifestyle here on the commune(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:34,
Reply)
no, they say they're quite happy to park their caravan on your land, tapls to gaz address kthx
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:38,
Reply)
Rachel agrees with you 100% on most of your salient and valid points in real life but she has a job to do, it's a difficult position. (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:32,
Reply)
While I generally agree that long term empty properties should be forcibly acquired from speculators and turned over to social housingsquatters are just so smelly and rude that I find myself coming down on the "ship them off for National Service, get them good and shot whilst oppressing fuzzy wuzzies and get them back here for some token back breaking warehouse work now they've had all the fight knocked out of them" Times-reading Middle England reactionary lot's side.
Just a little bit of soap would be such a large help, Tangles. See to it, man.
(
Kroney, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:34,
Reply)
I can helpfrugallysustainable.com/2012/08/a-recipe-for-handmade-vegan-bar-soap/
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:36,
Reply)
It's the "Life Would be So Much Easier For Everyone if People Would Just Behave Like Proper Englishmen and Stop Being Such Utter Self-Entitled Pricks" party.It's not terribly popular with the people writing those ballot papers.
(
Kroney, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:39,
Reply)
It must be really difficult copy and pasting stuff from your precedents folder, stay strong for all of us here on off topics hun x(, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:21, Reply)
he was, before the 'you know what' :'((((((((((((
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:26,
Reply)
Seeking a court order for repossession strikes me as pretty mundane, I had no idea you were actually trail blazing here with a centrespread in the Estates Gazette already set aside to dissect the minutiae and ramifications of your stunning legal precedentAll over the common law world the legal professions are waiting with baited breath
(, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:30, Reply)
you'd actually find the complexities of this quite interesting, it's not your common-or-garden squatting actionbut as you're in the mood for trolling, fine, i'll just say UPSET.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:34,
Reply)
simmer down bumbagnobody in law ever had to go through a "gay period" because they couldn't find any girls
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:26,
Reply)
Most of them have sex with animals, resigned to the fact that they're unlikely to ever find companionship amongst their own species. (
Muns, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:54,
Reply)
this chip in your shoulder is really upsettingthere's nothing wrong with having creative writing on your CV ... not everybody is equipped for real subjects
(, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 10:17, Reply)
I wasn't counting stunned poster, possibly others(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:27,
Reply)
erremind us what happens to posts where people point out your weird qotw stalking and banning?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:30,
Reply)
you mean when you get obsessed by the children of an online stranger?yeah ... you look creepy, your internerd leaps to your defence, it gets dull, I delete
We can do it again now if you're really bored with your shit job?
(, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:36, Reply)
Its pretty pathetic how regulars hide behind sock accounts for mindless sniping(, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:41, Reply)
see ... now this gem is going to be lost when I delete the bickering dweebssad times
(, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:46, Reply)
Who's who? I find it difficult to keep up with all the mind-blowingly dull bickering around here.(
Kroney, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:49,
Reply)
I'm not even sure who I am anymoreI don't think it's worth the effort trying to keep up. It's like trying to make sense of all that gamergate nonsense.
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 10:00,
Reply)
Ha I'd forgotten about the stone white american redneckish woman whos 25 and is married to a 36 year old german man accountI'm having some of that for my sig
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:53,
Reply)
i'll leave that for you to do when i remind everyone that you post pictures of otherwise anonymous people you have stalked on the internet to try and 'win' at beeta(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:34,
Reply)
b3ta.com/questions/celebrations/post2378452
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:37,
Reply)
what is?me getting a mental banned or you fantasising about seeing pictures of people's kids?
(, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:41, Reply)
yeah, you were banned too, for being creepy.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:42,
Reply)
I wish I'd never asked. For the record: Hahahahahaha. You clients are cunts.
(, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:46, Reply)
imma go in afterwards with a flame thrower, make sure the insurer gets a nice bill(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:51,
Reply)
I like squatters, they always know how to throw a decent party(
Glovington, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:57,
Reply)
I just wish they would provide chairs(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:58,
Reply)
True, and their nibbles often taste a little grubby too, like they've been picked out of the carpet(
Glovington, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 10:01,
Reply)
HI GUYS!Comm prop as an asset class behaves like bonds!!!!
Crazy!!!!
(, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:45, Reply)
^ Not an accountant(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:47,
Reply)
That film series took a real downturn when Debbie left the cheerleading squad and entered the world of work.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 10:02,
Reply)
Well that all went downhill quicklyBack to serious matters, how do you make your cheese on toast?
I toast one side, turn it over and spread a layer of your sauce of choice, then the cheese and grill it. I'm sure someone once said they put a toaster on its side to do it but that sounds very silly.
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 9:58,
Reply)
You have to, otherwise the cheese falls off.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 10:00,
Reply)
Have they branched into catering now?(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 10:02,
Reply)
I've had rice, wheat, potatoes, possibly others.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 10:04,
Reply)
Cut a couple of slices of homemade bread.Add farmhouse Cheddar, Worcestershire sauce and mustard. Sliced onions optional. Bung under the grill for about ten minutes. Eat.
(
.Yeti., Wed 4 Feb 2015, 10:03,
Reply)
Yeah, I like biting into the tender undersideand imagining my teeth are piercing the underbelly of Smaug's hide. With cheese.
(
.Yeti., Wed 4 Feb 2015, 10:26,
Reply)
toast one sidebutter the other. then thin layer of mustard. then cheese and worcs sauce on top. grill. when done apply A1 Steak Sauce.
easy innit.
(, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 10:03, Reply)
toast one side of bread, add a bacon base layer and a mountain of grated cheese to the other and place under grill until cheese is golden, top with birdseye potato waffle.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 10:09,
Reply)
Needs more nyommy chorizo and maybe more baycumz(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 10:11,
Reply)
Toast bread lightly + fire up grillSplash of worcestershire sauce onto the toast, then a THICK layer of cbeese of the top of that and under the grill until bubbling. You need to cover all of the toast with cbeese, otherwise it'll burn
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 10:21,
Reply)
50% strong cheddar, 50% Wensleydale or Lancashire, 10% pecorino (not parmesan), 0% Worcestershire sauce, 3% pepperSliced not grated.
(, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 10:24, Reply)
I always like to give 113% to making cheese on toast(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 10:34,
Reply)
it's important to overload the toast so that there's a decent amount of seepage(, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 10:34, Reply)
I like cheesey beanos.toast one side of the bread whilst reducing your beans. turn over and place beans on the breaded side evenly. place slices of cheese over the beans and melt untill the edges of the bread have toasted...sometimes include lea and perins
(
Glovington, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 10:28,
Reply)
when i was a student, we had a knackered and terrifying old gas ovenlighting the oven was taking your life into your own hands, but the grill was beyond even my boyfriend, and he was going into the army, so he LIKED big bangs and flames.
so i made cheese on toast by putting the bread in the toaster, melting the cheese in the microwave, and pouring it over the toast. quick, cheap, effective, and students will eat anything anyway.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Feb 2015, 10:44,
Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »