Morning all
I'm still getting used to there being two of us here (in my house that is) on a Saturday.

How are you guys?




P.S. BGB, have you been to the post office yet?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 27 Sep 2008, 9:52, 256 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

working!
hurrah, im trying to herd 4 countries into testing a software release, while having two nephews smashing round the house making more noise than a crash of rhinos.

chain smoking and 5th cup of tea already.

sigh

how rude, good morning everyone
(Halfy By light alone, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 9:55, Reply)

Well it was only
16 because my boyfriend made wait until then. It would have been 15 if I'd had my way.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 27 Sep 2008, 10:05, Reply)

Agoooooood morning
How are we all?

I'm in work which fucking sucks the boab.


I do get to go out in St Andrews tonight however which is usually a good night. Apparently Hugh Grant is about there at the moment...if I see him I can't be responsible for my actions.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 10:08, Reply)

Morning guys
Woken up with a streaming nose, nasty cough and a general feeling of Uggh ... I feel like Tom Hanks 3/4 of the way through Philadelphia.

Gonna swing by a hotel for lunch to scope it out for wedding reception viability and I think that the rest shall be huddled on the sofa armed with duvet and lemsip.

Our lass says it's man flu, I say it's full blown green monkey AIDS.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 10:09, Reply)

green monkey AIDs?
is that a form of the good AIDs or bad AIDs?
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 10:11, Reply)

plan of action
1) to be in the pub approx 7 minutes after I finish work, hopefully around 1pm ish

2) Stay there until im very drunk

3) Stagger home and eat beef stroganoff

4) sleep
(Halfy By light alone, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 10:12, Reply)

Very definitely good AIDS
I caught it off a bog seat and everything
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 10:16, Reply)

Alas
I also still have the man flu. It feels like my throat's been raped.

My plans for today involve buying darts and going to a ceilidh. What funs.

Are we mostly well?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 10:17, Reply)

Nice
nothing worse than a dose of the bad AIDs at this time of the day.

I've been trying to make a training manual for 4 weeks now and have so far done 4 pages. Think I'm going to get bum raped (and get a dose of bad AIDs) from the bosses. Woop.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 10:20, Reply)

Fudge.
Management administered punishment bummings are never good ..... Fortunately I'm a good boy and my tea towel holder has not been pierced by the rampaging cock of management in many a year.

@Al ........ It's nearly as bad as getting it from cutlery or when teh gays sneeze near you.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 10:25, Reply)

Yeah
it's certainly fucks your plans right up.

How was the bash the other night althegeordie? I've not been on here much this week so missed any tales/reports which may have been posted.

As far as Management bummings go I'll just insert a 3 inch diameter butt plug on Sunday night to stretch things out. Should be like a wizards sleeve come Monday morning.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 10:28, Reply)

Morning Folks
Dosed up on paracetomol.
This chest infections's a cunt!

Really want a cig:(
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 10:35, Reply)

As long
as I get bummed bent over, facing the computer so I can use B3ta I'll be moderately happy. As happy as a straight bloke getting jobby jabbed can be.


I've actually got a report on a supplier called Jones due Monday, what are the chances?!


Probably quite high as they're from Wales.



EDIT Morning BK, that's shit you're still ill. Whenever I've got a chest infection I smoke menthol. Does fuck all and they taste like shit but I pretend to myself I'm smoking Olbas Oil which makes me feel better.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 10:36, Reply)

My dear BK
Ciggies draw out the badness ....... Go on, go oooooooonnnnnn. You know you want it.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 10:37, Reply)

Shop was only a minute away
So legged it down in my sleepy shorts and manky t-shirt.

They're used to me turning up in some states down there.

*edit* @al
I thought your first bit of advice was directed at me there! Made me chuckle; then cough.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 10:48, Reply)

That's not
a bad idea. Shall do.

Bash sounds good. You going to make it up the one in Edinburgh next year? It's ages away but I'm a bit moist with excitement already.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 10:49, Reply)

@ CHFB
I'm making this one too.
My best mate lives in Dalkeith so I've got a crash pad up there.
It's going to be a big 'un.
I'm not as suspiciously camp in real life!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 10:52, Reply)

BK
Nice one mate, I'm now looking forward to being able to visualise your face when you come out with your camp comments. That sounds incredibly wrong, apologies!

Yeah it sounds like it's going to be a bit of a big one (fnar fnar), have you been out in Edinburgh before?
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:00, Reply)

I think
my liver is about to explode.

How is everyone else?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:03, Reply)

@ Batman
*is scottish*

Oh yes. I'm from Hawick.
Up to see the folks in November so I'm hooking up with Tulip for a day int he pub as she lives a few towns over.

Used to be out in Edinburgh a lot.

*hugs TGB*
I feel your pain - my throat feels like it's trying to give birth to my lungs:(
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:05, Reply)

Welcome to sickbay
We have a collection of manflu, chest infections and green monkey AIDS.

*Directs TGB to the liver replacement ward*
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:05, Reply)

Good, cheers
Late night was it? Do anything exciting?

@ Bk... I didn't realise you were Scottish. There's fucking loads of us on B3ta. Well I may just come crash your day in the pub then, muahahahaha!
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:05, Reply)

Swan
It's TGB but close ;)

Damn your ninja-ing.

I got wasted. My mate was round for a bit so I didn't have to get wasted by myself. I carried on getting wasted after he left though :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:06, Reply)

ill?
drink through the pain, I recommend Whisky and lots of it.

You will feel like shit the next day, but not know if its a cold or the worlds worst hangover, problem solved!
(Halfy By light alone, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:07, Reply)

I know .... Apologies.
I got distracted by the reference to BGB when replying to the original post.

I'm male. I'm easily distracted.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:08, Reply)

@ Batman
Yeah, we get everywhere!

You'd be very welcome.
She's based in Kelso. it's the weekend of the 8th and 9th.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:09, Reply)

Vesta
look over there, tits!!

if that didn't distract you nothing will
(Halfy By light alone, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:10, Reply)

I've just been
watching an episode of Jeremy Kyle titled "Is My Granddaughter Forcing Her Twin Into Porn and Prostitution?".

I don' think there is anything I can add to that.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:10, Reply)

morning folks
holiday starts now!

well it actually started at about half 4 yesterday with a reefer :-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:10, Reply)

haha
no worries :)

My dad is coming round soon to make sure I don't break my foot when removing this engine. He always comes round when I am hungover. Once when he came to see me in Oxford I had drank about 8 snakebites the night before and just threw up the whole time he was there.

He's so proud.

Mrs L I like how specific that is! Twin's only!
Hey Vipros
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:11, Reply)

BK
Yeah I might try make it then. I'll be back in Glasgow by then so I may find my way out to you although I don't know that area in the slightest so you may have to direct me (ahem).

I'll give you a shout nearer the time though!
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:14, Reply)

@ Halfy
Tits? For me? Why thank you!

Just had my final gas bill through and Npower owe me £86.69 - Woohoo!
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:14, Reply)

Yay my book from play has arrived!
Damn all the people that were talking about the Zombie survival guide the other day.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:15, Reply)

TGB
That is the best book ever written.

I carry mine around with me at all times. Now you probably think I'm joking but I'm not, how incredibly sad. Enjoy!
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:18, Reply)

I look forward to reading it later!
Holy crap just watching an amazing American Football catch. I don't like American Football that much, but this is a brilliant catch! Dedication? 11/10
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZJLsIhuxdc
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:22, Reply)

I've just downloaded
New Metallica and Slipknot.
Bit meh on both counts really!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:26, Reply)

I know what you mean BK
I had a listen to Death Magnetic the other day and it sounded like it was trying to recapture the heyday of Metallica ....... Not bad but not on par with some of the earlier stuff.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:29, Reply)

BK and Swan_vesta
I kind of agree with you about Death Magnetic trying to recapture something

but I fucking love the album. but then I love everything they've done about from St Anger
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:30, Reply)

TGB
That's bloody magic.

I tried to watch American Football a few weeks ago and it just made my brain hurt. I tried playing it once as well but that just made the rest of my body hurt even further.

Any announcements on the AC/DC tour yet?
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:34, Reply)

swan and beakay
Listened to Ride the Lightning for the first time in about 10 years yesterday, damn thats a good album
(Halfy By light alone, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:39, Reply)

I still love
Ride the Lightning.
Awesome album
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:42, Reply)

New Metal-licker
Sounds good to me but one of the problems is that the iconic bands from the Bay Area / Noo Yawk scenes that shaped and deafened me in the 80's/90's are either dead, collecting their pensions, or playing catchup/reliving the glory days. Metallica aren't doing too badly, folks!

Eds: yup, Ride The Lightning is the business. Where has all my vinyl gone? Oh yes, the folks' loft.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:43, Reply)

I may have to indulge myself
in a trip down musical memory lane and dig out the old Metallica and probably a bit of Nirvana for good measure.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:47, Reply)

I just had a guy
came in to the shop wanting a kilt and he stank of BO and shit. Absolutely humming and his clothes were covered in christ knows what.

Anyway I went to take a waist measurement, he didn't know what size he was, turns out he was 63 inch waist. Having to say somebody "my measuring tape only goes up to 59 inches...hang on a second so I can sellotape two together" is mightily embarrassing.

I told him I didn't have anything large enough for him to try on but if we could wait a few days I could get something shipped over from another branch and he went fucking mental. Seriously off his tits. Apparently we should cater for people of his size and have a range of try on garments for folk like him. What a bell end. Plus he had some brat in tow who threw a McFlurry all over a £700 tweed suit and he just stood there and watched her before telling the rest of the customers in the shop "This place is shit" Surprised the fat cunt didn't go and lick it off.


Aaaaarrrrggggghhhhhh, sorry but I'm fucking raging.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:53, Reply)

I have
"one" 10" picture disc somewhere, would be interested to know how much that is worth nowadays
(Halfy By light alone, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:53, Reply)

Nings all (just)
Batman, that sounds horrendous! Try and feed him a sporran, with any luck he'll choke on it.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:59, Reply)

@ Batman
Haha. Forgot you worked in a kilt shop!

just got the new Bleeding Through.
Sounds rather good!

@Halfy

A fair bit I should think.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 11:59, Reply)

Mornin'
Just got back to where I'm currently living. In two weeks, I'll be back in the UK for good. Spent a few days while over there visiting old places I used to hang out in (including my first address ever). The day after the bash, I explored the area in West London where my new home will be.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 12:05, Reply)

Morning spak!
WHat's this I hear about you planning something in London on the 18th of next month.
May well be heading down that way like a dirty little bash whore!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 12:06, Reply)

Good afternoon, all!
I hope we're all well and happy.
(The Stig, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 12:08, Reply)

@Batman
Couldn't you have had a Sghain Dubh 'accident'?

Might have ended with you getting showered with a dozen semi-digested pies when he burst, mind you...
(osok Rebel without a clue, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 12:12, Reply)

One of the dudes
who works with me almost leathered him as he left actually. He made some passing remark about not wanting to be served by an immigrant (his parents are from Spain but he was born and brought up here, just has a Mediterranean look) and how he should "fuck off back to his own country". He had to be held back from going for him although he did manage to scoop half the McFlurry off the suit and throw it at him. Caught him right on the back.

Ahhhhh what drama for a Saturday morning.

BK yeah man working here's a pretty forgettable experience usually!


EDIT Morning Osok, I was tempted but I doubt that would make for very good publicity

"Local Kilt Shop Manager Stabs Customers"

Although that may be only marginally worse than

"Local Kilt Shop Worker Throws Ice-Cream at Customers".

Fuck
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 12:12, Reply)

hurrah work is finished
Just have to wait for the Chimney sweep to come round (open log fires FTW) then I can pub it.

even better news is that I have 2 pints in behind the bar, free afternoon drinking FTDW (D is for Double!)
(Halfy By light alone, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 12:13, Reply)

Saturday 18th October
Is the first Saturday night after I've moved into London. I'm reserving the Friday night for a possible works night out - hence the Saturday.

I spoke to a few people about it at the last bash. Some couldn't make it, and some could. I might move it to a different night if there's enough people who want one at the time.

Once I have enough interest, I'll put something up on the calendar.

EDIT: Afternoon Stig. It was nice meeting you at the bash.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 12:16, Reply)

BK
Once you've decided what weekend you're coming down, we can stick something up.

On the calendar.

I'm in my office right now. WTF?
( thealternativefact, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 12:19, Reply)

@spak
The bash was certainly......"interesting" it wasn't quite what I was expecting....
(The Stig, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 12:19, Reply)

Woo! clendrix!
*flex*

Well, if things work out ok I imagine the 18th will be more than ok with me:D

*edit*
Now have the new Opeth too!
What a productive morning.
Might go for some Sigur Ros next
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 12:24, Reply)

@Batman
Alternative headline "Obese Inbred questioned by police after racially abusing shop worker".

If it's anything like down here, that'll get them extra points for investigating a racially motivated hate crime, DNA on the database for ever, thrown in a blacked out van and sent to the re-education camp, that sort of thing.

As an aside, I have to kilt up for a wedding in the spring, and I'm wondering if I'll have enough cash to actually buy one. All I actually own is a Sghian Dubh and a plaid pin, which isn't much of a start.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 12:25, Reply)

Kilts and weddings
My bro married an Albanian girl last year, in Albania. We, his family, thus went to Albania for two days and then came back, which was rather surreal.

More surreal was my step dad wearing his kilt and full ensemble, the Albanians were most bemused by it.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 12:28, Reply)

Hey osok
Last time I was on here at the same time as you, you weren't doing so well.

How are things?
( thealternativefact, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 12:28, Reply)

Aweeeeeell
you're speaking to the right person my friend. Do you know what tartan you're looking for? I could do a deal...

Sgian Dhu and Plaid pin are better than nothing I think.


EDIT: warmfuzzyfeeling I made a kilt for a guy who was marrying a Kenyan girl, in Kenya. He came in and saw me when he came back and apparently was treated like some kind of god because of it (I imagine/hope it was like C3PO in Return of the Jedi but then I'm sad). Only thing was it was fucking roasting, being in Africa and everything, and he ended up fainting due to heat exhaustion. Bad times!

EDIT EDIT; yeah a bit, what do you want to know?
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 12:29, Reply)

@ 'fuzzy
That sounds really funny.

I do like getting kilted up but it's been a good few years. Eight actually.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 12:30, Reply)

@ Batman
Do you know anything about Irish tartan?

EDIT: BK, the whole thing was funny. We spoke no Albanian, they spoke no English, and my step dad is a loud jolly Scotsman of the bearded variety. We spent most of our time there drunk on home brewed raki, trying to communicate with gestures.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 12:31, Reply)

@ fuzzy
That sounds like so much fun!
I love those kind of situations.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 12:36, Reply)

@Clendrix
No real change, unfortunately. A distinct lack of gainful employment, shiny pennies and so forth plus a few other dramas.

Hey Ho

*whistles*

Always look on the bright side of Life, ta dum ta dum ta dum.........

@Batman - have gazzed with the boring tartan bit
(osok Rebel without a clue, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 12:36, Reply)

Right,
off again.

*swoons for BK*
*pecks osok on the cheek*
*waves at everyone else*
( thealternativefact, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 12:38, Reply)

Osok
Have replied with some info. Hope that's of some use mate.

Warmfuzzyfeeling...what were you wanting to know about Irish tartans? You've got me intrigued now.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 12:47, Reply)

I have a friend
Who's Irish. He's always wanted to find his family's colours and have a kilt made up. But the surname is tricky as it was changed to avoid trouble in the Troubles, and so tracing it is difficult.

A long shot I know, but I've never met a kiltmaker before, so had to ask :)
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 12:53, Reply)

.
@stig
You never know what to expect at a bash. Different bashes can be completely different. Some are just a small group of us having a chat, whereas some can end up producing some 'interesting' photos.

@warmfuzzyfeeling
The Albanian wedding experience sounds similar to an experience me and a friend had in Siberia. We met a bunch of drunk people from Kyrgyzstan and we had no longuage in common, but without any prompting, they became extremely generous and bought us loads of vodka and shashliks and passed on their happy vibes to us.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 12:59, Reply)

Just read your edit Batman
Oh dear, fainting whilst wearing a kilt... much potential for embarrassment there I would think.

Mista, happy foreign people with alcohol FTW!
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 13:23, Reply)

@ spakka
Well, I'll reserve judgement. There were a few people who made it quite clear they didn't want to know me!


That was nice(!)
(The Stig, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 13:26, Reply)

Sorry was distracted by customers
normal ones this time.

warmfuzzyfeeling what's his surnam? I'll have a gander on the sites/books we use to trace these things and see what I can do.

A lot of Irish surnames don't have clan specfic tartans in the way we do, they tend to relate to which county the are from. Let me know and I'll do me best!
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 13:47, Reply)

G'afternoon my dear horde
I'm just back from a nice lunch with a fellow Zoologist.

Think I've gotta go shopping now.
I hate shopping people people when I'm shopping.
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 13:48, Reply)

Noon Kaol
I'm not moving from my pit today.
Bedroom smells of ill person though:(
Time to open a window.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 14:06, Reply)

@Stig
That's odd. I'm glad I got to know you and I'm pretty sure all the other b3tans at the bash feel the same way.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 14:22, Reply)

To be honest....
I'm in two minds as to whether I'd go to one again. I felt like a prize pranny. I think it's because people know each other and want to talk to them (which is fair enough). But quite a lot people just didn't like me.

It was an experience, certainly, but, I'll stick to QOTW, for the time being....
(The Stig, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 14:52, Reply)

That's a bit crap dude
I've not been to one yet as there hasn't been any North of the Border recently but I'm really looking forward to it. Maybe now that you've been to one and met some folk face to face it'll be better next time?

Sorry if that sounded a bit patronising wasn't meant to be.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 15:25, Reply)

Laptops in the garden
Not all that great, acksherly.

I can't actually see what's on the screen no matter where I place it in relation to the sun - except for every single speck of dust, sneeze, pot noodle spray and fingerprint. On the upside, as a result it is now cleaner than when it was new, as I have just spent considerable time polishing.

And when I was setting it all up, I carefully fed my router cable through the window - straight into a bucket of water :( I was worried, but it seems to still be working.

@ Stig - are you sure you're not being maybe a tad too sensitive? Like the other day on here when you asked if you were invisible because nobody greeted you... sometimes people don't greet everyone - it's nothing to take personally... I know I haven't always had replies to everything I post, and I'm sure everyone else would say the same. I think you may be worrying about nothing? Which would be a shame. Just trying to help, and I hope it doesn't sound patronising too.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 15:49, Reply)

It's cold
Fuck this for a game of soldiers, I'm going back inside!
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 15:51, Reply)

I agree with warmfuzzyfeeling
I didn't see you say hello to be honest so didn't reply but half the time when I post on Off Topic folk don't say hey back, it's no big deal there's usually 20 different conversations flying about at once. Everyone does it but doesn't mean they're ignoring you.

As for taking putting your cable in a pot full of water...I'm sorry I can't continue I just burst out laughing read that!Hehehe innuendo.

Nononono inyourendo.

Sorry.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 15:54, Reply)

Shopping is crap.
Fact.

Not one fucking shop in the whole place sold plain black t shirts.
Or shirts.

What the fuck?

That place could be wiped from the face of the earth, and we'd be better off for it.

Not to mention the shambling, dribbling hordes of retards that seem to dwell there.

Yes, I'm trying to walk down the street.
Stopping your 20-stone carcass in my way, and halting the milling swarm of crotch fruit that slither around you, isn't helpful.

YOU'RE IN MY FUCKING WAY.

Idiots.
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:01, Reply)

Hello Kaol
Nice to see your sunny rays spreading across the board to warm us.

*notes never to shop with Kaol*
( thealternativefact, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:05, Reply)

*shakes head*
I just don't get how a bunch of clothes shops can't sell simple, plain t shirts.

It's not strictly true, I found one shop that did. But I'm not paying thirty fuckin' pounds for one. They can fuck right off.
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:09, Reply)

Quite.
*make cold compress*
*presses it to Kaol's brow*
( thealternativefact, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:10, Reply)

Where were you shopping?!
You'd think you'd get to used to monger customers working in retail but nooooo they just get worse and worse and worse to the point where you start to worry for the human race.

Cocks, fucking lot of them.

Primark for black t-shirts?
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:12, Reply)

Well...
I don't know what to say to that, Al...
I could do with a chainsaw, now you mention it :)

Thanks Clendrix *hugs*

Batman: I was shopping in a "clothing retail village". Mistake.
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:12, Reply)

Hello again folks
News just in

RIP Paul Newman - dies today aged 83!

Didn't know he was ill.

Hey clenders
I'm going to spoli you with another *flex*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:16, Reply)

Eurgh
I never got why it's a "village". A real village should have thatched barns, buxom maids and a village idiot (although these places tend to be populated by idiots so that's one out of 3). Shopping villages are just soulless, rage inducing shit heaps.

Usually get a bargain though.


Paul Newman has had cancer for quite a while I think but bloody hell. RIP.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:17, Reply)

Hey BK
Paul Newman?
The salad-cream man?

Batman, I've learned that the hard way.
I got socks, and that was it.
Well, maybe I angered myself a little closer to my early grave, but that's it.
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:17, Reply)

BK
Am now spoiled beyond repair. Loving it.
( thealternativefact, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:19, Reply)

@ Kaol
Yup, that one!

*winks at clendrix*
Cos you said I was lovely

*flutters eyelashes*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:19, Reply)

Ah right.
Well... Everyone's gotta go some time, sounds like he had a good run and did some good things.
So, good for him :)
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:20, Reply)

100?
Woop Woop Woop!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:30, Reply)

*shakes head*
Simple minds, simple pleasures :p
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:31, Reply)

Bastard.
I was just spinning round and round on my chair and I fell off and hit my face on the desk. Fucking hurt.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:35, Reply)

*laughs at Batman*
*proves Kaol right*

Sorry Batman!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:37, Reply)

I've got a fucking nose bleed you cock!
Nah it's okay mate I deserve it for being a twat, it's all my own fault anyway!
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:40, Reply)

*laughs*
I'm sorry, but...
My goodness, that made me laugh.
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:41, Reply)

Aw yeah lets all
laugh at the silly cunt that fell of his chair, hahahaha!

Actually the first thing I did was burst out laughing which in turn caused me to spray blood over my shiny new cowboy boots so I can't go in a strop!. Suppose that's what I get for wearing cowboy boots.



EDIT I just found out the fucker I work with had loosened the screws on my chair when I was having a fag because he knows "I like to swing on my chair like a window licker between 4:30 and 5:00". Cunt!
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:45, Reply)

On the subject
of clothes shopping, I spent hours yesterday looking for a t shirt. You would think shops would be bursting with comedy t shirts, but apparently not.
I had given up as I went past yet another clothes shop but thought ok, one last try.
I was pounced on by a helpful Australian as I went in the door, so I explained that I was looking for a birthday present for a grumpy Scotsman. She looked bewildered but showed me the "novelty" t shirt stand.
Looking through them I was losing the will to live, but then - WIN!!!
As I put the t shirt depicting a blue flag-faced Celt waving a (presumably English) head on a spike with the slogan "freeeeeedom!" on the counter the Australian said "that's actually the perfect t shirt for a grumpy Scotsman..." I KNOW! HURRAH! And thank fuck! No more clothes shops for a while :)
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:45, Reply)

Batman...
Cunt him in the fuck.

The bastard.
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:47, Reply)

May I point you in the
direction of these fine purveyors of quality Scottish t-shirts and accessories...ahem...


www.slanjkilts.com/



EDIT Kaol I would...except I've been shagging his sister for the past 3 weeks and he's in a bit of a mood about it already so I think I'll let him off.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:48, Reply)

@ fuzzy
Goodness, that would involve going outside.
I'm still safely ensconced in my pit.

Now downlading some Down stuff and a bit of Neurosis.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:48, Reply)

In my old job
I sat at a desk in front of a huuuuge window that gave the General Public a fantastic view of me not doing any work.
My chair was scruffy, so it was covered with a throw.
One time I threw myself sideways on to the chair to sit down a bit too enthusiastically, and slid straight across and off the other side.
I tried very hard to make it look like I'd done it on purpose. I suspect I failed... People laughed at me.

But at least I wasn't bleeding...
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:50, Reply)

Hahaha!
*grins*

You sound like an exciting man, Mr. Bats!
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:52, Reply)

Hee hee
I do stuff like that.
I walked into a lampost in front of a lot of people the other day. I waved at one of them and went face first into the post that had crept up on me.

How they laughed.
*edit*

Just saw your edit, Batman. Haha! Still, since he's done that I think you should progress to his mum.

*edit again*
My spelling's atrocious today!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:53, Reply)

Thanks Batman
Safely bookmarked for future use :)

BK, lol - I sense a qotw opportunity...
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:56, Reply)

What?
"times I've walked into stuff"?
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:58, Reply)

@ fuzzy
I think so.
I think I apologised to the lampost too, in a moment of confusion!

*edit* @Kaol
Hilarious clumsiness I suppose.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:58, Reply)

Kaol
My life is just one big tartan comedic spiel!

That's actually a lie today has been a bit more eventful than usual.

Warmfuzzyfeeling yeah that's the company I work for, the stuffs actually quite good and I could get a discount.

EDIT BK You apologised to the lamppost?! Hahahahaha that's brilliant!
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 17:01, Reply)

Hmmm...
I'd have a few stories.
But I dunno how quick "I was drunk, then I walked into something" or "I fell over" would get boring.

I did manage to slam my head in a car door though.
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 17:01, Reply)

Please tell all Kaol
...
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 17:03, Reply)

@Kaol
We have a winner!

I couldn't top the car door.
I did take the tip of my pinkie off with a safety knife once...
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 17:04, Reply)

Haha!
Thanks BK, now I have to clean snort off my recently polished shiny screen!

In other news, I am sitting in my living room for the first time in months. Attempting to use my laptop in the garden made me cold and miserable and as I was downstairs anyway I had a sudden urge to light a fire.
So I lit a lully fire, got the pooter all set up, relocated my recliner for optimum viewing pleasure and got ready to enjoy the TELEVISION for the first time in months.
And there's fuck all on.

EDIT: Top Gear's just started, woo! I take it all back, that makes it worth all the effort.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 17:04, Reply)

Kaol
You'd have to be a spakker of epic proportions to slam you own head in a car door. So we need details.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 17:06, Reply)

Ooh sounds cosy!
Myy chest infection seems to be subsiding a bit, and I've downloaded about 20 albums so it's all good:)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 17:07, Reply)

Well
The short version is that I was drunk, and got into the passenger seat of the car while talking to a young lady.
I got kind of half in, but was leaning out still, talking to her.

I pulled the door shut, on my head. The bit above the window smacked me on the forehead, but the window was open, so I didn't break my nose.

EDIT: It was a small, low car, and I'm tall.
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 17:07, Reply)

Bk
You managed to cut the top of your winkle off with a safety knife? Eurgh!

But do tell...

Kaol...nice! I hope the lady in question was suitably impressed.

EDIT BK I just noticed you said pinkie. I thought you said winkie. That's not nearly as bad.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 17:10, Reply)

Er...
I did my "I've just been injured painfully, so I'll laugh like a maniac instead of whimpering" thing.

So I dunno... I assume she was unimpressed.
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 17:14, Reply)

@Batman
I did check to see if I'd misspelled it!

No, just my pinkie!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 17:18, Reply)

She bloody better have been
First date with my ex-girlfriend ended up with her in A&E because she fell face first into the bar with a shot glass in her mouth. The doctors didn't find it funny when I asked them if jizz had anaesthetic properties. I started laughing like a mong and was asked to leave.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 17:18, Reply)

Hahaha!
*shakes head*

It's a shame I don't seem to be about much when you are, I like you, Bats!

In other news, I'm making an epic quantity of Mushroom stock :D
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 17:21, Reply)

Haha cheers dude, likewise!
To be honest I can only get on here during work because I'm in a short term lease flat so don't want to sign up for internet until I'm settled somewhere else. I usually reserve Saturday day times for my (and yours now apparently) B3ta needs.

Are you able to make it up to the bash in Edinburgh next year? It's fucking ages away but appears to be a biggy.

EDIT and good job on the shroom stock. It's the best kind of stock.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 17:27, Reply)

@Batman
Cheers mate, I just gobbed a mouthful of lucozade on my screen.

I once got told that blowjobs are good for a sore throat, but then discovered it was giving, not receiving:(
Still, fair play to my ex for going along with it.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 17:27, Reply)

Yeah, barring a crippling accident
I'll be there.

Looking forward it mightily!

EDIT: BK, I thought of you last night, I was singing "Clouds Over California" by Devildriver on Rock Band last night.
Dunno if you like 'em or not, but it made me think of you for some reason.
(And I got 98%, on "Expert" difficulty *smugs*)
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 17:34, Reply)

No worries
I aim to please.

Anyway I need to head off, back to the flat for a quick shit and a wash and then onwards to St Andrews, woohaaaaah!

Have a good un' and BK, hope you feel better soon mate. If you manage to give yourself a blowjob would that make you feel better or would it cancel itself out? What with you being the giver and taker.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 17:36, Reply)

See ya Bats,
Have a good rest-of-weekend!
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 17:40, Reply)

@Batman
I suspect any improvement in the throat would be negated by the pain of a severed spinal chord

@Kaol
I din't mind them actually. May download some stuff actually. I managed to get Lamb of God on in BGB's local last week, much to the bemusement of the patrons.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 17:42, Reply)

Bye Batman
Unless I missed you because I was in the kitchen.

I am eating crunchy hot fried polenta, and I am making colcannonn for later :) (Think all the Celticness has rubbed off on me).
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 17:43, Reply)

*jealouses*
I got all the stuff for a lovely lamb casserole yesterday.

Headed downstairs to start preperation.
I've got all the stuff for the casserole.

Except lamb.

*facepalm*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 17:46, Reply)

Hahaha!
No Lamb!

*raises fist to the sky*

NOOOOOOOOOO FUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKING LAAAAAAAAAAAAMB!

*grins*

My mushroom stock is coming along epicly.
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 17:54, Reply)

Well,
I'm glad someone's happy

*sulks at own idiocy*

Pasta it is I think:(
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 18:07, Reply)

Evening all...
Just back from the gym and feeling pumped (in a non-sexual way). It's amazing how a work out can make you feel better.

P.S to all the people who have comments about me....you had to be there....
(The Stig, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 18:12, Reply)

I'm gonna have chicken and mushroom pasta
Then the stock is gonna be for a soup tomorrow.
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 18:13, Reply)

Frigging hell....
I'm hungry! Let's see what ready meals, I have in the fridge. Looks like it may be spaghetti carbonara.

I'm THAT hungry I may eat it cold!
(The Stig, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 18:28, Reply)

I wouldn't eat it cold
*shudders*

It'd be a bit coagulated.
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 18:30, Reply)

Trust me...
...it doesn't look that much different hot from cold!

Don't worry, I resisted temptation long enough to sling it in the microwave oven. Now I can't do anything until it goes "ping"! :O)
(The Stig, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 18:32, Reply)

You can all stop pining
I return!

And am only slight oily. And didn't break my foot or anything! In fact the only thing I broke as my nail which I don't give a flying fuck about. So yeah, woo me!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 18:32, Reply)

Haha!
Fair enough!

I'm off to do some cooking and laundry. Exciting stuff...
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 18:32, Reply)

*baaaaarrrrpppp*
Well, the colcannon turned into a bit of an epic. I've just nommed three sossidges and half a frying pan full of bubble and squeaky colcannon with crispy bits. And as I opened a bottle of red wine just to add a splash to the mushroom and onion gravy, it would have been remiss of me not to drink it. The room is now warm and toasty, the fire roaring away.

*glows*

Hope everyone else's nomming is as pleasurable.

*doubts it*
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 19:10, Reply)

I haven't even thought
about dinner. I should I had a bacon sandwich about 2 and nothing since.

I hope there is a ready meal in the freezer I am far too lazy to cook anything tonight. And I have ingrained oil and general dirt in my hands so probably not the best condition to handle food
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 19:16, Reply)

Usually
I exist on toast and crisps.

*feels bloated*
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 19:27, Reply)

Toast and crisps?
*frowns*

I'm trying to tidy the kitchen, and cant be bothered to cook anything yet.
Damn lazyness!
I just need to grab some pasta, but...
*sighs*

Lazy!
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 19:30, Reply)

Well not just
toast and crisps. But in my state of can't be arsedness it rarely gets much more exciting than that. Except for the occasions when I suddenly get the urge to cook something uber complicated and end up biting off more than I can chew, as it were.

Living on one's own is a blessing and a curse... it means I can eat what I want, when I want... but it also means cooking for one, which rarely seems worth the while. If I do cook I tend to do a big batch and freeze it. This works better with some foods than others. Recently I discovered that stir fry does not freeze well :(
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 19:48, Reply)

Stir fry is nasty
If you freeze it.

I find anything with potatoes or egg turns out horrible too.
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 19:50, Reply)

Two fold result
The lasagne we were going to have tonight has been canceled due to us nipping out for a cheeky half with mates. Now we're going to cook the bolognese mix and freeze it and have Domino's.

I've worked out that I can view porn on my sat nav .....Yay!
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 19:51, Reply)

Hahahaha!
What an evening :p

*grins*
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 19:52, Reply)

On your sat nav!?
Ooh I am missing xfactor.

*is sad and is going to go watch it*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 19:54, Reply)

That means
I'll have to finish my colcannon tomorrow :)

Yes, the stir fry, once defrosted and cooked, turned into a bowlful of brown slop. Tasted good, but I had to eat it without looking at it :(

EDIT: *is also sad* First tv I've watched in months and it's been Top Gear and the X Factor :)
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 19:55, Reply)

Yeah
It's got a feature where you can view Jpegs on an SD card ...... So I did what all normal people would do and crammed it full o' filth.

All in the interests of 'I wonder if .....'.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 19:58, Reply)

Of course!
"I wonder if..." has lead to more scientific discoveries than anything else.

Cow... Udders... I wonder if...
Woo!
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 20:00, Reply)

Thing is that I've
come to view it as a potential handsfree wanking kit ....... Oh God. I'm going to Hull.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 20:02, Reply)

You're only
Going to Hull if you put the kiddie porn on it :p
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 20:05, Reply)

Evening al
We went and sat in the park, then went for a curry! Hurrah.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 27 Sep 2008, 20:07, Reply)

i've just discovered
i have the internet on my phone!hello beautiful people!have i missed anything? i'm on the train to st andrews and i'm bored.and a bit drunk
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 20:09, Reply)

I can assure you
There'll be no underage filth on it ..... A few goats, scat and goatse maybe.

Can I resist the urge not to bash one out on a 70 mile commute?
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 20:13, Reply)

I love having
t'internet on my phone.
I can have all these people with me where ever I go.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 27 Sep 2008, 20:13, Reply)

Hull?
Only if that's where it tells you to go...

Hello Batman, long time no see, lol.

Hello Mrs L too, I read that as you ate curry in the park, and I thought "ooh that sounds nice" :)
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 20:13, Reply)

Woo!
More people!

I'm just starting cooking dinner, garlic bread, chicken and mushroom carbonara :D

And whisky.
Vital, that.
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 20:14, Reply)

Kaol
Did you kill everone off?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 20:45, Reply)

Maybe...
I'm just eating my dinner.
Of people :D
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 21:11, Reply)

The man next door
has been hammering on his wall ALL FUCKING DAY.

I might have to have him killed.

He doesn't work, why can't he do it during the week?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 27 Sep 2008, 21:35, Reply)

One thousand pounds
And it's done.

I'll even use the hammer on him :)
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 21:36, Reply)

Maybe
he's locked himself in a cupboard and is desperately trying to get your attention?
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 21:36, Reply)

£500
and go on my tits?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 27 Sep 2008, 21:38, Reply)

In that case
The noises will get quieter and quieter over time.

Then there'll be a quiet period.

Then the smell will start to come :)

£750 and the tits.
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 21:39, Reply)

£500
tits and biscuits?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 27 Sep 2008, 21:40, Reply)

No dice
£700, tits. One biscuit.

EDIT: Won't Mr. Bin want to hurt me?
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 21:41, Reply)

I espy a bidding war.
Petrol money, a jammy dodger and a go on the tits and it's done.

It'll be like Leon. Except with biscuits and tits.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 21:53, Reply)

Hmmm...
Tits and a macaroon.
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 21:54, Reply)

Bah!
Outbid by Kaol.

No jammy dodgers for I.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 21:59, Reply)

I think he'd
be so happy to be shot of the bloke nextdoor he'd let you warm your hands up on his arse first!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:00, Reply)

SOLD!
Awesome.
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:01, Reply)

So what kind of biscuits
Mr K?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:13, Reply)

Hmmm...
I do like peanut cookies.
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:14, Reply)

Then it
shall be so.

Tomorrow morning?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:20, Reply)

Give it three hours and I'll be sober enough to drive
It's easier to strike when they're asleep.
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:21, Reply)

evening everybody
how are you all tonight?

I'm watching Barcelona lose in the derby, and eating some pork and chicken brochettes.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:22, Reply)

Pork!
Woo!

I'm watching Taxi Driver.
And thinking about going for a smoke.
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:23, Reply)

Kaol's going to kill
the man nextdoor for £700, a go on my tits and some home made biscuits.

All I need is £700
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:27, Reply)

'tis wonderful
coated in some spicy sauce, and combined with chicken....nom nom

my god Barca are crap tonight. Couldn't score in a free brothel.

anyone got suggestions for some music. I mostly like rock, Motorhead, Metallica type stuff, but am open to other types
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:28, Reply)

Tits and biscuits
Can be the advance.
You've got an honest face, I know that you'll be good for the cash.

Plus you're not a smoker or a drinker, so the organs are good.

Flesh: How heavy do you like it? You should check out Monster Magnet, awesome band! I'd recommend "Powertrip" by them.
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:32, Reply)

good evening all.
( hedge_diver, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:41, Reply)

G'evening HD!
I don't believe we've had the pleasure of introduction.
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:42, Reply)

bout fucking time
probably the worst goal ever, but Barca finally equalised.

Koal - Monster Magnet, hmm nice one. Got a few individual tracks, but not an album. That's a good start. General sort of heavy level, round about Rob/White Zombie, Judas Priest type of thing.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:45, Reply)

I wouldn't be so sure about the cash
Kaol. I've still got over a month till payday. I'm 100% skint.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:45, Reply)

Good evening Kaol,

I have spent a few years lurcking and thought now was a good a time as ever to say hello.
( hedge_diver, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:45, Reply)

So Mrs L
Would I be right in thinking that a go on your tits and some biscuits, without the contractual killing included, would cost £300?
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:47, Reply)

So, HD, if you're a lurker
Do you know of me?

Flesh, Powertrip is wicked, also recommend God Says No.

Do you know of the band Tomahawk?
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:49, Reply)

Well Warm
I think £300 would just about cover it!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:50, Reply)

Hello
flesh and hedge.

Actually that sounds like something Kaol might say.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:51, Reply)

G'evening again Fuzz
What's everyone up to?
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:53, Reply)

Oh!
200!
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:54, Reply)

200?
Was that at me Kaol?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:55, Reply)

No!
200th post :p
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:56, Reply)

Oh,
I thought you were offering me £200 for a go on my tits and some biscuits.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:57, Reply)

Tomahawk?
Can't say I have. What they like/similar to?

Just finished off my pork/chicken, and the fotty's finishing up after crowd trouble, so gonna find a film to watch shortly
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:57, Reply)

No!
You're paying me £700 for the pleasure :)
Also, what does "a go" involve?

Flesh, Tomahawk is a band that Mike Patton, formally of Faith No More, started.
Very cool!
A bit like some of the heavier tracks from "king For A Day, Fool For A Lifetime".
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 22:59, Reply)

Koal, I have read some of your posts so I'm aware of who you are.
( hedge_diver, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 23:00, Reply)

Oh dear, HD...
Should I be worried? :p

How goes it tonight, anyway?
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 23:01, Reply)

I was wondering that too Kaol
I think we should get something in writing because knowing you they'll end up the wrong side of a machete.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 27 Sep 2008, 23:03, Reply)

:(
I can be very gentle, I'll have you know!
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 23:04, Reply)

well well
extra time Alex Ferguson would be proud of - 13 fucking minutes. Good god. Barca get all three with last minute penalty - not undeserved either.

And ther's a woman who will never win parent of the year - shouting all sorts of obscenities at Barca fans - with her young kid standing right next to her. Bint
if this is boring anyone, tell me and I'll stop


Gonna check out this music, then find something for dessert - possibly doughnuts
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 23:06, Reply)

Well...
Taxi Driver is over, so I'm going for a smoke.
No clouds tonight so I get to look at the stars.
Pretty :)
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 23:07, Reply)

Kaol, you have nothing to worry about, I have always found your posts to be entertaining and at times quite though provoking.

As for this evening, it's lovely and quiet. Which is awesome as I have an aweful hangover.
( hedge_diver, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 23:07, Reply)

Evening folks
hope you are well and having pleasant weekends.

also thought I'd direct you here in case you hadn't experienced it ;-)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post253963

back to the wine!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 23:08, Reply)

Well
Entertaining and thought-provoking...
I needed a new sig :D
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 23:31, Reply)

evening Vipros
all fine here

bit of the flu, but fine otherwise.

Has everybody else left, or just temporarily?
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 23:31, Reply)

Still here.
Went for a smoke.
Fucking cold out there!
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 23:32, Reply)

*arrives*
My word, you lot have been busy.
( thealternativefact, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 23:39, Reply)

@ Kaol
ha - doesn't get cold here, not even over Xmas.

Just downloaded the entire discographies of Monster Magnet and Tomahawk - 1.5 MBps over Rapidshare FTW
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 23:40, Reply)

*shrugs*
It's quiet tonight.

EDIT: Flesh, where're you? Also, good work on the downloads :D Let me know what you think!
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 23:40, Reply)

Talking of music...
Kaol, fuck me there was a lot on that disk. Working my way through it. Fab.
( thealternativefact, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 23:44, Reply)

im in Barcelona
so got the Med to keep me warm.

I'll have to wait to try the music - don't have my headphones cause I left them in my office, I live in a flat, and my missus is on the phone. Low volume is really not an option on this asshat laptop

Edit - evening clendrix
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 23:45, Reply)

Clendrix
It's a good selection :D
I only chose the decent tracks.
You worked out which is the "bonus track" yet?

Flesh, sounds a bit hot for my liking!
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 23:47, Reply)

I am here still
but multi-tasking. Boggling in fact.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 23:47, Reply)

not really that hot
granted, in summer you could fry eggs on the stree, but between now and March it's quite mild. This week it's been pissing down though - supposedly it happens every year the week of the 24th (city holiday)
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 23:50, Reply)

Hello Flesh and Fuzzy!
Top of the evening to ye both.

Kaol, nope. Only stuck the first batch on my ipod today. Love Johnny Truant!
( thealternativefact, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 23:50, Reply)

Woo!
Johnny Truant rock!
If you tell me the bands you like, I'll bring you all of their stuff on USB some time :)
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 23:52, Reply)

Kaol
Yay! Thank you soooooooooooo much.

Should I whip up a batch of curry as a thank you sometime soon?
( thealternativefact, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 23:54, Reply)

Hello
clendrix *waves*

Also musically, I am making a playlist for an embeddable player for profiles and stuff, which I am guessing would prolly not be welcome in my profile here...?
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 23:56, Reply)

I'll never say no to
Expertly made curry :D
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 23:56, Reply)

Kaol
Then soon it will happen!
( thealternativefact, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 23:58, Reply)

Sounds like
A fuckin' good plan :D

Hmmm... It's midnight.
I've gotta be up in six hours.
Balls.
( Cawl, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 23:59, Reply)

What are you up to?
I've forgotten...
( thealternativefact, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:00, Reply)

Shooting a music video
Want it to be all misty, so gotta be up early!
( Cawl, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:04, Reply)

6am on a Sunday
whatever the hell for?
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:04, Reply)

time for bed
night all
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:05, Reply)

Night, Mrs Bin!
Kaol...ah yes, that's it. Hope it goes well.
( thealternativefact, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:06, Reply)

People still avout?
I am drunk. But three of my friends came round whicjh was awesonme as I haven't seen one of them for mmoths,

People who want to corrent my grammar or spelling can fuck off :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:09, Reply)

TGB
I think you meant "which" :p

Clendrix, I hope it goes well too!
( Cawl, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:15, Reply)

you replied before I asked
and if it's not misty? Then you've wasted a lie-in... hope it is so that's not the case


night mrs bin. hello TGB
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:19, Reply)

Fuck you Kaol :p
Hey flesh
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:20, Reply)

Right...
enough of posting on here and playing the guitar - I gotta be up early too, so I'm off to bed.

Good night, you lovely people.
( thealternativefact, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:21, Reply)

If it's not misty
We'll just have to make do, but the light's always best that early anyway :)
( Cawl, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:23, Reply)

it was fukcing misty
when I went to work at 845 this morning
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:27, Reply)

Er...
Do you mean yesterday morning?
Today's (in theory) Saturday...
( Cawl, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:28, Reply)

fuck you kaol :p
we all know what i mean!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:28, Reply)

at least
it won't be wasted then.

Think I'll be off shortly as well. This man-flu is starting to wear me out
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:28, Reply)

That's twice you've said
"Fuck You" to me... Once more, and... Well, you know the rules :p

Night Flesh, hope you feel better soon!
( Cawl, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:31, Reply)

fuck you kaol :p
what are the rules/?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:32, Reply)

night everybody
see you all sometime tomorrow.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:33, Reply)

That you have to :p
Should've asked first, haha!
( Cawl, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:33, Reply)

if i am too drunk
to care about spelling and grammar then that if the least of my worories
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:34, Reply)

Haha!
I don't even know what to say to that.

You're a disgrace to your username!
( Cawl, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:34, Reply)

fuck you kaol :p
haha what happens for the 4thg useage?

and grammar badgers are allowd to get wasted and stop giving a shit about anythihg.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:36, Reply)

The fourth usage?
I have no idea.
I think 5th usage constitutes a life-time of servitude.
( Cawl, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:37, Reply)

see
now you are just making this shit upo
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:38, Reply)

Hey, I don't make the rules
I just uphold them.
I'm like the fuck-you-rule-SS.
( Cawl, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:40, Reply)

well fuck you!
and fuck the ss and all that shit.

i am typing one eyed. damn these lurry keyboads
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:42, Reply)

*grins*
You did this to yourself...

*makes note in book*

*takes screenshot*
( Cawl, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:43, Reply)

the keyboard is moving
man its totaly not my failt.

*falls off chair and asleep*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:44, Reply)

And on that note,
OT is now closed, for legal reasons.
( Cawl, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:45, Reply)

pft
you cant close OT!

i shall reebl and post here more"!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 0:47, Reply)

Nope
Still haven't figured it out...

How does one "reebl"?

(I'm not taking the piss... I'm drunk too!)
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 2:09, Reply)

Anyone about?
Just made it back to my mates after a night of debauchery. I say debauchery it was a bit tame.

I'm going for a fag. And a dairylea lunchable. Yum.

EDIT Captains log 1029. Had fag. Was mediocre. Lunchable on other hand was awesome. Time for bed due to quietness on b3ta
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 2:58, Reply)