Did you know about baby Meatswipe?



( Peej, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:13, 5 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

I hope baby meatswipe's first words are 'nice chips mate'.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:14, Reply)

Breastfeeding with a fork is gonna be difficult

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:15, Reply)

'get fucked'

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:16, Reply)

I will buy her a little megaphone just in case

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:47, Reply)

In other baby news,
One of the lads at work has just told me that the Thai prostitute he spent two weeks having unprotected sex with while over there, did not only give him crabs, but is also pregnant with his child and is planning on moving here.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:16, Reply)

officelol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:16, Reply)

He's 22. His mum has thrown him out apparently so he's sleeping in the shift hut for a couple of days.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:17, Reply)

"nesting"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:18, Reply)

Mega Lolz

( Peej, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:16, Reply)

Hang about, it had both sets?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:17, Reply)

He got a rare all girl one.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:17, Reply)

I dont know
She's had a cock once or twice
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:18, Reply)

what did he expect?
Do they not teach anything to kids now in sex ed?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:18, Reply)

NO REAL NAMES

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:18, Reply)

That Ed is such a card

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:21, Reply)

We all told him he was a moron.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:21, Reply)

hahaah

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:21, Reply)

lol, what a wally.
This also implies not only was he daft enough to have unprotected sex with a prostitute, he also felt the need to give her his contact details.

Some 50 year old bloke who drank in my local was big into his prostitutes, he one day proudly regaled us a story of how some presumably trafficked bird in a brothel 'just hopped on with no johnny or nothing' and was surprised to be met with faces of disgust. We suggested he might want to get himself checked out for his and his missus's sake and his response was a nonchalant 'i'm to old for any more kids anyway'.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:32, Reply)

Fucking hell.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:35, Reply)

Also, I clicked Y even though I had no idea.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:16, Reply)

Please delete my real name off that poll.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:17, Reply)

n
( Peej, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:19, Reply)

I knew... *smug face*

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:19, Reply)

I think my point was most of us did and we were all very good and kept quiet

( Peej, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:20, Reply)

I didnt

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:21, Reply)

I did

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:21, Reply)

Me too

( Peej, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:27, Reply)

To be fair though
I think children are shit so I am the last person even my RL friends tells about this sort of thing
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:36, Reply)

Oh btw, Mrs Bonzodog is pregnant.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:44, Reply)

Thats ok it wont be mine
so I can sell it for experiments
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:49, Reply)

It's going to be difficult to pinpoint which of those present that night it belongs to.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:50, Reply)

Good girl
Those 50p's add up you know
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:51, Reply)

She offered a group discount

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:53, Reply)

Fuck it
I have told her no discounts ever
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:54, Reply)

There was quite a lot of us.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:55, Reply)

I know
And you were on film and as your real name is mentioned and quite unique I will be blackmailing you
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:57, Reply)

I hope this doesnt distress you

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:57, Reply)

Only if I can have a copy

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:59, Reply)

£100 please

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 15:46, Reply)

No way, I could experience it again for less than that

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 15:49, Reply)

Yeah but would it have split screen stereo sound eh
ask yourself that
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 15:51, Reply)

we're good when we want to be

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:22, Reply)

I didn't, but another part of the internet was indiscreet shortly before this 'official' announcement.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:23, Reply)

I didn't.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:35, Reply)

^^ Upset

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:35, Reply)

You were and we appreciate it. That's why the OMG GAZ HACK creepyness annoyed me because there were some highly personal details about swipes health throughout the pregnancy to some people in messages that we definitely didn't want 'jokes' about, but all
Is well now so that's that
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:37, Reply)

classic he'

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:40, Reply)

but all

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:41, Reply)

+ that she wants is another baby

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:43, Reply)

He's gone tomorrow, boy
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:48, Reply)

I'd definitely entrust sensitive, personal information to b3ta's gaz system.
No way that could go wrong.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:48, Reply)

Perhaps mildly foolish, but thats not really the point is it?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:49, Reply)

However
could you imagine that I made some shit jokes about this at the time and now we can look back and laugh about it
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:51, Reply)

I heard he asked for the "husband's stitch".

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:52, Reply)

This is a Harry Potter thing right?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:58, Reply)

Swipe's bludger is no laughing matter.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 15:03, Reply)

Floppy aubergine

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 15:52, Reply)

Search me, meatm8.
I wasn't really paying attention.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:51, Reply)

I'm a bit worried, I've used my real name in gazzes before.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:51, Reply)

Bad luck, Gareth.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:53, Reply)

I gazzed out my address for randomburn.
Lighty sent me a cd. I never listened to it. I found it in a drawer when I moved house.

It had a nice drawing on the cdr. Unless that was one of the other ones.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:54, Reply)

Almost certainly one of the other ones
I have no artistic talents
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 16:42, Reply)

And with a name like Jeroboam you are quite easy to locate

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 18 Sep 2015, 14:55, Reply)