What, no HSH thread?
Might as well...



Hungover, at work, on a Friday morning. How're you lot?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 8:55, 385 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

'@ PB
Hungover, at work, ona Friday morning strangely enough.

Was sick as a dog when I got in last night.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 8:59, Reply)

I'm at work on a Friday morning
and I'm hung, but I'm not hungover :(
(Alopeciasimian Has a JMG up his arse, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:01, Reply)

Tut tut gentlemen
Did you indulge a little bit too much last night then?

I am feeling chirpy again. Hooray.

Sorry Al
hooray
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:01, Reply)

Morning
No hangover for me. I do however, predict one for the morning.
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:02, Reply)

Morning everyone
Just sitting in my room waiting for the airport taxi to turn up. Should be here in the next few mins.

Just looked outside. Last night's crap snowman is still there :)
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:03, Reply)

@Lucy
Don't apologise for chirpiness, just use the phrase, 'I'm chirpy and chipper, and I'd fiddle with flipper' and all will be forgiven.
(Alopeciasimian Has a JMG up his arse, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:03, Reply)

@ Lucy
*hugs*

Glad you're feeling better.

I feel like absolute grot but got a good weekend planned.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:04, Reply)

Well Bert
I'm chirpy and chipper and I WILL fiddle with Flipper.

It's all about positive confirmation.

Rubberduck, did you take a picture of the snowman? I love snow, you are super dooper lucky.

BK - I hope your weekend is all you hope for and more!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:05, Reply)

morning folks
not hungover, but not had enough sleep

so glad it's friday. shame the inlaws are coming down tonight :-/
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:05, Reply)

Yeah, overindulged on the Newcastle Brown last night
Not my wisest move, by any means. Still, at least it tastes nice!
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:07, Reply)

LvP
I did indeedy

Apologies for the very wrapped-up drunken guy spoiling the picture. :)
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:07, Reply)

@rubberduck
Where's his... you know... his snow cock?
(Alopeciasimian Has a JMG up his arse, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:08, Reply)

*cries*
I made one, but it fell off...

Still, at least it was worse for the snowman than it was for me!
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:08, Reply)

@ Lucy
It'll be ace.

I shall dazzle with my lasagne!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:09, Reply)

Morning
I was going to be off today, but the school I do a lot of work at phoned and asked if I could do the morning. So I'm busy cramming some breakfast down my face. I told then I wouldn't be there until 9:30.

It sucks that I'm working but I do get paid a stupid amount of money.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:10, Reply)

ducky
That's amazing! It looks proper snowy and lushness there.
*jealouses*

Bert - what use is a snow cock? it'll melt as soon as it gets put near a nice warm orifice.
Eew drippy.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:10, Reply)

Righty
My chariot awaits. All being well I'll be back here late afternoon, if I manage to make the stupidly-tight connection at Stockholm.

Have fun everyone...
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:10, Reply)

Working hard
then Duckie? :p

I'm at work, not hungover but a little sleepy *yawns*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:11, Reply)

There, there rubberducky
It's gone to a better place now, and asexual snowpeople do it for me just as much as snowmen.

EDIT @Lucy You're a dirty, dirty girl, it is merely to be admired and gazed upon lustfully
(Alopeciasimian Has a JMG up his arse, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:12, Reply)

Bert
*blushes*
I do apologise. How rude of me to bring the level of conversation in this thread down to the gutter with me.
:P
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:16, Reply)

Morning all
Loving the talk of snow cocks this morning. I thin kthey shall be made this year when it snows.

And it will, even if I have to break out that old weather machine I have in my shed, it will snow I tell you!
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:23, Reply)

@Lucy
the gutter is the favourite place for all b3tans to dwell. Keep up the good work!

@al I am the REAL Bert! See, look at my tiny cock...

*shows*

MM gave me the password for this account, so I now have four Berts.
(Alopeciasimian Has a JMG up his arse, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:25, Reply)

Hi Pirate
News just in:
www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/war/councils-invested-%a31bn-in-tiny-volcano-surrounded-by-fish-200810101314/

"wilfully eccentric musicians"
Sounds about right.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:25, Reply)

Morning all!
And morning to those in a more delicate state.

How are we this fine morning?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:27, Reply)

Good morning, all!
What's the topic of conversation today?
(The Stig, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:28, Reply)

I'm in a really good mood :)
Although I caved and reactivated my facebook account as I wanted to see some photos *cries a litte*

In fact it wasn't even me that really wanted to see them!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:29, Reply)

@ Stig
Being hungover, I think!
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:37, Reply)

Morning all!
Hey LvP, how did your recruitment consultant thing go yesterday?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:37, Reply)

It's all gone quiet
Already!

Anyone got any nice plans for this weekend?
(sorry, I know thats a boring thing to say, it's just to keep conversation going again!)
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:38, Reply)

Top of the mornin' to yah
I'm hungover at work on Friday morning too.

Kermit turned up at 10.30 last night demanding wine and stockings. Just because HE doesn't work Fridays.
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:38, Reply)

@ Lucy
I do, but you already know that:)

How about yourself; you up to much?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:39, Reply)

@Piston Broke
Hangovers? Oh dearie me! This is why I eschew alcohol! Even when I met some of the B3tards in London, I stuck to Orange juice.

(feeling smug)
(The Stig, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:42, Reply)

Hey LabM
My CV has been put forward for a (quite frankly) odd sounding job and the interview will be next week.

BK - I have NO plans. Not seeing Mr VP this weekend so will be rattling around my parents house again. I'll probably cook and bake far too much food and get really bad cabin fever.
It'll be a good weekend!

Thank the lord for Strictly Come Dancing. It keeps me sane
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:42, Reply)

@Lucy
Yep. I'm frantically arranging a second birthday party for my little girl because her first one was so pants.

EDIT How about your good self? Mr vP is out...? What time am I coming over?
(Alopeciasimian Has a JMG up his arse, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:42, Reply)

@ Stig
If someone would invent a soft drink for people who don't like sweet stuff I would be eternally grateful. There is nothing that tastes as good as a glass of red wine or a good ale.
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:44, Reply)

Bert
I'm free all weekend. Just give me half an hours warning so I can get the goose fat out of the fridge and up to room temperature.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:44, Reply)

NINGS!
how are you all my dear b3talets?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:45, Reply)

Morning folken
A good cure for a Friday morning hangover is to not stop drinking!

I have no hangover so the world is all good.

On the downside though I will mostly be copying data from one part of a spreadsheet to a different part of a spreadsheet all day, and of course I'll be here.

Work, not a good use of my talents.

EDIT for crap typing
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:45, Reply)

@ Lucy
If you're relying on Strictly... to keep you sane, I think it's too late.

It's obviously some crippling undiagnosed Asperger's ;)

*edit*

*hugs tulip*
Hiya!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:45, Reply)

@Miss Piggy
It's called water! Lions and Tigers drink it, you know. :O)

I'm joking, I do drink alcohol, but recently, my taste for it has gone on the wane.

I have noticed that since I eased up on alcohol, my weight has dropped dramtically.
(The Stig, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:46, Reply)

Totally off topic.....
What happens if you click the ignore button. I've never done it.
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:46, Reply)

Savoury soft drinks you say?
*squeezes a pig*

Pork juice anyone?

@miss piggy All the posts for that person disappear, but in your profile you can choose to un-ignore them, but I've never used it. Trolls are part of the fun of b3ta.
(Alopeciasimian Has a JMG up his arse, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:47, Reply)

@ Stig
Well, I have recently weighed myself and I'm 10 stone. I've lost half a stone somewhere, and I drink like a fish.

I'd vanish if I went teetotal.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:48, Reply)

@stig
I do try and start a session with a few pints of soda water, but you can only drink so much of that. I suspect not drinking would have good effects on my weight but lousy effects on my social life.
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:48, Reply)

@BK
I ought clarify that I go to the gym 5 times a week and I don't eat red meat (amongst other things). So, no ham, pork, bacon, Lamb, veal, beef etc for me.

I'm quite a healthy person and would like to maintain this lifestyle.
(The Stig, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:50, Reply)

Fair enough
I used to be a gymhead for a while after I stopped smoking for a couple of years, but then started smoking again and stopped going.

I've always eaten red meat cos I like it, and I have periods where I'll cut down the alcohol intake but that never lasts.

I like my crutches.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:52, Reply)

@ Stig
Not stopping drinking? Would certainly make work more interesting, I will say that!
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:52, Reply)

Gyms
I belong to a gym in Sheffield. I used to work out 4 times a week including a session with a personal trainer. After two years my weight was exactly the same as when I started and my achilles tendons were shagged.

Maybe I should take up swimming.
Anyone got any good exercise ideas that aren't mind-numbingly boring?
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:54, Reply)

Going to the gym.....
....and cutting down or eliminating certain foodstuffs and liquids from my diet have done wonders for my health. I've lost 2 and a bit stones, I can sprint faster (being of a ethnic persuasion, I need to run from the police, quite a bit when they want me for "questioning") and I've got more pronounced muscles now.


I'm still a tool! But a healthy one! :O)
(The Stig, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:57, Reply)

Well, Miss Piggy
If you click ignore, it puts that person on ignore, so none of their posts show up.

Morning 'tulip. Well this morning?

edits @Piggy - Mountain biking for the win. Good scenery, and good exercise.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:57, Reply)

Bert & PoD
I don't think I'll be using ignore then. You've got to have someone to be annoyed at/feel superior to.
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:59, Reply)

@ Misspiggy
You could always try indoor climbing, there's a good place about a mile away from Sheffield train station that does classes on Weds evenings. It's called the Foundry, here's the website: www.cragx.com/
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:01, Reply)

@ Miss Piggy
Sheffield-based eh?

*makes notes for possible Yorkshire bash*
*remembers there's one in York*

Do you ever drink in the Devonshire Cat?
That's my fav pub that, whenever I'm across.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:02, Reply)

Climbing's also a good idea
Plus it's really pretty safe, due to all the ropes and things.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:03, Reply)

@BK
speaking of bashes, you coming to Spakman's one on the 18th?
(The Stig, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:03, Reply)

I like the idea
of rock climbing. But have no upper body strength what-so-ever.

So it would be more walking along the bottom of rocks
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:03, Reply)

@ Stig
That's the plan.
Should be booking the train tix this weekend.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:04, Reply)

Ello ello ello!
Woss all this, then?

Morning and all that. I think I have the office to myself today... Let the good times roll!

Now, how to get rid of this headache...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:04, Reply)

@BK
Jolly good show! I'll see you there then! I was hoping to meet Brixton Bruxelles, but I don't know whether she is going now or not.

Where you coming from?
(The Stig, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:05, Reply)

@ BK
The Dev Cat is good but really noisy due to all the hard surfaces. There are loads of really good pubs in Sheffield - and lots with live music in too. A Sheffield bash would be great. Hope to get to York if at all possible.
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:07, Reply)

I'm about to stop my gym membership
because it bores the shit out of me

I intend to swim more instead. Much better for my achieving my goals and it's not dull as hell.

Also, gym staff are smug bastards.

Edit: Rock Climbing. I've tried it, but as I'm scared of heights something that gets me from safely on the ground to somewhere that isn't just doesn't appeal.

Loved abseiling though.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:07, Reply)

@ Stig
I'll be commuting from Leeds, as that is where I currently reside.

*edit* @misspiggy

I like it for the sheer selection of beers and scrumpy, but you're right. It does get loud.
I'm quite often at the Corporation for gigs and like to stop off at the Cat beforehand.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:07, Reply)

@TGB
It's not all about upper body strength, there's a lot of technique to it too. I think you should give it a go.

Right, off for 6 hours straight of classes. Have fun days all.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:07, Reply)

@BK
Leeds?! Blimey, that's a trip and a half! Well, I hope to see you there and there's a drink waiting with your name on it. :O)
(The Stig, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:08, Reply)

@ Stig
Nicely done!

I was down last weekend too.
Had an awesome time.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:09, Reply)

Re Rock climbing
It's not that hard, and upper body strength is more of an afterthought. You use your arms for steadying yourself, if anything, otherwise you just end up tired halfway through and they feel awful the next day. But walking round the bottom of rocks is lovely as well, there are some brilliant walks in the Longshaw Estate (not too far from Sheffield) that testify to this fact. And the Dev Cat is a very good pub!
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:10, Reply)

PoD
I think I'd fail! Epic-ly :p I have dodgy knees as well. Frankly I am a poor specimen and should probably be locked up in a pub somewhere with lots of cider.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:11, Reply)

@PB
Amen for the Cat!

My mate introduced me to it last year before we went to see Mastodon at the Corp and I loved it straight away.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:14, Reply)

Amen to the Cat indeed
There's also a very good folk pub in Sheffield which has Addlestone's on draft. I can thank Misspiggy personally for introducing me to that one :). These days I'm Wakefield based, and I've found a brilliant little pub right outside Kirkgate train station. The Snooty Fox- it's ace!
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:17, Reply)

Hooray for Bert!!!
al you forgot to mention he's also a big hairy sexual bear.
I'd like to see him dressed as a Lumberjack I'd like to give him a cuddle.
( wanderlust, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:19, Reply)

@Al
You've lost it mate, better watch out or you'll never come back from that happy place.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:27, Reply)

Do you just save all these images
up Al for a rainy day? :p

*hoorays for Bert*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:28, Reply)

Hooray for bert!
Hooray for all b3tans in fact, you've all been ace for various people at various times!

I've just had a call about a potential job in a wedding dress shop. Sparkly things!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:29, Reply)

Here's the shit joke I was gonna post last night
A husband leant over to his wife in the pub and says, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago?

We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

‘Yes’, she says, 'I remember it well.'

‘OK, how about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

Oh Bob, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

An undercover policeman overheard this and thought he would follow them to make sure they would be safe and he was intrigued as to how they would manage it.
The elderly couple walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally,
they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers.
As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.
Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back

on. The policeman is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing; I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, ‘Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to what you just did?'

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that wasn't a fucking electric fence …!’
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:29, Reply)

Awww, shucks
You guys!

*hugs*

My little 'yn is the be all, and end all of my life, and I'm sure that any parent should be the same. I'm just doing my job. :D
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:29, Reply)

SIGNIFICANTLY BETTER THAN YOU, CUNT FEATURES

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:29, Reply)

Never right
Thats a good one! ha.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:31, Reply)

Nice one Nev!
Can I call you Nev?
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:32, Reply)

Bert
You're a star man, a real diamond geezer.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:33, Reply)

*Groans*
So corny...
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:34, Reply)

@ PB
Wakey based?
We should hook up for a pint or two sometime!

@ Lusty
Hello you!

*huggles*

*edit* @N-R

That's quality, Sir!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:34, Reply)

Hooray for Bert!
*cheerleads*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:37, Reply)

hello children
how is everyone? i feel like shit - my friend is due to find out this morning if she still had a job, so we had to stay up drinking with her til she felt she could fall asleep. this was about 4.30am. feckin absolut, it's the devil's crystal clear frozen urine.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:38, Reply)

@ Neverright
hahaha!

cheered me right up that has.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:38, Reply)

^^
There's another image for Al's happy place, DiT in a cheerleaders outfit!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:38, Reply)

Morning BK
*huggles*

You ok?
( wanderlust, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:39, Reply)

Only the gods know al
I don't but I'm sure somebody does.

EDIT Morning Miss Rswipe
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:40, Reply)

@ Lusty
Bit ropey.

But I have a lovely weekend planned so that's ok.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:40, Reply)

ah, lovely weekends ftw
What will you be doing, Mr Keloid?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:42, Reply)

@ al
aw, come here pet.

*soothes poorly head*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:44, Reply)

Morning swipey!
At least Vodka is clear and the liver can process clear alcohol better than dark.

There's a little lesson for you all.
Gin=Good!

hello Lusty! *hugs*
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:45, Reply)

*strips out of cheerleading outfit*
I am not some kind of sexual plaything, you know!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:45, Reply)

Thanks all
I may have a few more hidden up my sleeve.
:)
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:45, Reply)

@al
You pansy. I've never had a hangover in my life, and I drink single malt scotch, cos I'm well 'ard me.

...and in reply to your post up there^^^ I do have my own reasons for watching the litle mermaid
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:45, Reply)

Re Gilgamesh
He's trying to annoy me... it's quite cute really.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:46, Reply)

@ Devil
Aren't you?

oh.

*cries*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:48, Reply)

Why
is he trying to annoy you PB?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:48, Reply)

LvP
Gin is good?! (Copyright Gordon Gekko)

It's like drinking a bottle of perfume!

Candian club whiskey!

Or better still, Courvoisier! Like honey in a glass.
(The Stig, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:51, Reply)

O, HAI TULIP!
I can be. On occasion, like!

*reclines*

EDIT: LvP - It's all down to your choice of gin. Mine - a lovely Tanqueray Ten, a squeeze of fresh lime, loads of ice. Yum! No, just leave me the bottle, I'll be fine!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:52, Reply)

Gin
Is good.
I will stick to my guns on this one, I've always been a gin drinker and I always will be. It's nomalicious.

With lemon, or lime, or cucumber, or tonic, or bitter lemon, or cloudy lemonade...
Yum.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:54, Reply)

Im with LVP
Gin=good

With tonic and a slice.

WARNING *Does not look masculine at all to drink.

Even if its in a pint glass
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:55, Reply)

@ Tulip
I shall be using my lasagne skillz to dazzle a lovely young lady.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:55, Reply)

Gin. Gin. Gin. Gin. Gin. Gin. Gin. Gin. Gin.
All hail the sweaty fox...

It is a lovely drink, but does give an evil head pounder in teh morning
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:57, Reply)

Gin and Bitter Lemon!
Nom nom nom.

Courvoisier and coke however, is my favourite drink.
( wanderlust, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:57, Reply)

LvP
You are a bona fide weirdo!

I'd rather drink petrol.

Having said all that, I have a penchant for alcopops! WKD blue, Archers Aquas, Smirnoff Ices, the flipping lot!

I do drink a lot of tarts' drinks. But I am a metrosexual...
(The Stig, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:57, Reply)

*steps away from manic morning workload for a moment*
Did someone mention gin? Drink of the Gods!

*turns back to the people demanding work from him, draws two machetes, and strides into battle*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:58, Reply)

mmmm
I now have a brain full of lovely images of sexual playthings, gin, and lasagne.

*wibbles*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:59, Reply)

Stig
I do get the feeling that you would choose petrol over most things though!

I embrace my ginlove, and my fellow ginlovers.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:59, Reply)

*wipes the blood and viscera from him*
*cuddles up with all the fellow gin-lovers*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:00, Reply)

LvP
I am The Stig! I am Lord of all things car-related! (Though, Rubberduck may challenge me for my throne).

But.....gin....is....flipping....awful!

I didn't realise B3ta was full of old people...

Long live Alcopops!
(The Stig, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:01, Reply)

mmmm gin
I have gin to thank for making the losing of my virginity awesome :-)

edit: more awesome

my other half is definitely not allowed gin though. it does bad things to her brain.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:03, Reply)

Feckin'
Alcopops?

Dear lord. 90% Sugar, 5% Self Hatred, 5% Pissing in a doorway, 100% EVIL.

Yes, that's 200%.

EDIT: Vipros, I believe it was Dylan Moran who said that Gin is nothing but Eyeliner Remover for women... (Note: Not applicable to all ladies.)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:03, Reply)

^ what al said
alcopops are just wrong. wrong wrong wrong.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:04, Reply)

Amen
to that.

Just for the record, gin is lovely. One bottle of Whitley Neill, some Fevertree tonic, and some limes.

Crystal tumbler, ice, half gin, half tonic, half a lime squeezed and dropped in. HEAVEN.

And it glows in UV!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:05, Reply)

Gr3tans
Today will probably be the last day I'll be able to post mid-day on a weekday day-thread so I just thought I'd pop in and say hi.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:06, Reply)

Jumps on Gin bandwagon
I love a nice Bombay Sapphire.

Haven't had a gin for ages.

Sloe gin! Yums!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:07, Reply)

@ al
er, no. i will see your loathing of alcopops, and raise you a smirnoff ice poured over a double citrus absolut shot and served freezing cold.

gin is evil and must be punished.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:08, Reply)

*jumps into the gin pool*
Fucking gin! Fucking great!
And watch out if I've had some...

Ning all!
( thealternativefact, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:09, Reply)

three fingers of sapphire
four cubes of ice

and a soupcon of tonic

a slice of lime

eight of those and I'm anybody's
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:09, Reply)

@ Herr Doktor Lemminge
No idea why really, guess he took exception to me for some reason. /Talkers- we're a funny old bunch.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:10, Reply)

alcopops
came out the moment I graduated from uni, so I've missed out on the effects alcopops had on student culture (if any).

@misspiggy re excersize
If you want something that isn't too boring, try a martial art.

EDIT: 'ning Clendertronica
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:10, Reply)

Hey clenders
*pours clenders a gin to see what happens*

*waits*
*flexes*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:10, Reply)

Am I the only person who
doesn't like gin?

Oh Rachel doesn't either! Woo someone else with taste :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:10, Reply)

@TGB
no, so you can go and sit on the park bench slurping smirnoff ice with miss swipe over there.

only kidding. you can stay.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:12, Reply)

Beekers
Nothing will happen to you because you are lovely :)
( thealternativefact, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:12, Reply)

Mmm Bombay Sapphire...
Sloe gin, as correctly pointed out by BK, is also all of the win!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:12, Reply)

Hehe, TGB!
It's you and The Stig (to be fair, the list of stuff he hates is quite long though.)

Oh, and Swipey too. EDIT: Damn, you Ninja!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:12, Reply)

My tipple
Just a good pint of bitter please.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:13, Reply)

@ clendrix
That's nice to know:D

You're lovely too!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:13, Reply)

Grudgingly I will accept
that if you want to get shitfaced the quickest, mix Pimms with Cava and a smirnoff ice. Tastes brilliant!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:13, Reply)

pink gin?
and for those of us lucky enough to have lived in cumbria for a bit... damson gin!

random edit: Oooh! A scone! In my intray!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:14, Reply)

Thanks HLT
You are too kind :p

*breaks open the smirnoff ice*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:14, Reply)

A proper Pimms will get you trashed very quickly indeed.
None of this pub-style shit - a proper one has an immense* amount of gin in it and tastes divine.



*It does when crafted by moi.
( thealternativefact, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:17, Reply)

@ TGB
You're not the only one. I can't stand the stuff, give me beer any day of the week (please, do!).
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:17, Reply)

pink gin
Does that go with pink shorts?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:18, Reply)

Jumps onto Alcopops Bandwaggon
Nasty stuff.

More sugar than Tate and Lyle.

OT

I went to Gatecrasher in Brum last Friday.

ONE can of redstripe £3.20
DOUBLE vodka and coke £2.50

How??
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:19, Reply)

Hmmm...
I might have to go sloe picking...
( thealternativefact, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:19, Reply)

@spakka
yes, oh yes!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:20, Reply)

Just sticking my head in the door quickly
To say good morning. Going to try and be a busy bee today...after some mario kart

/addicted blog
( Captain V, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:28, Reply)

A friend of mine
Makes liquorice vodka, and it's bloody gorgeous!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:28, Reply)

I don't flipping believe you lot!
First beards and now this!

Alcopops rule! Screw your gin (A.K.A perfume in a bottle) and bring on the Archers Aqua!
(The Stig, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:31, Reply)

Ooh Al
That sounds like a great idea. I will investigate.

Shit, when I'm not at bashes getting trashed, I'll be drinking home-crafted booze.

The end is nigh.
( thealternativefact, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:32, Reply)

Cider (house) rules
We normally have gin in the fridge at work which sucks as I can't bring myself to like it.

Stig do you like anything except cars and complaining?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:32, Reply)

Perhaps pink gin could go where the pink shorts were once
and I could lick it off.

Now that would convince me to switch from bitter.

Edit: Mornin' Cap V
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:33, Reply)

Clendrix
What's the point in not enjoying life? Craft some homemade yummy booze, and start a riot!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:34, Reply)

@TGB
I like sense and rational thought, something which seems to be sparse around here....
(The Stig, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:34, Reply)

@ TGB
The cider house in Quatt??

If so its a bloody wonderful place.

If not I'm sure its just as good :)
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:34, Reply)

Clendrix
Quite frankly, your life sounds amazing when you put it like that!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:35, Reply)

Lucy! Labs!
You're both so right.

This is going to be fun...

Rational thought? Yes, absolutely no sign of that...from anyone.
( thealternativefact, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:36, Reply)

So... myself and Boss Keloid have just planned a little drinking session
Up in Wakefield. He'll be putting up a calendar entry soon as, it's from 6pm on the 24th of October, at the Snooty Fox, which is right outside Wakefield Kirkgate trainstation. Any takers?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:37, Reply)

@TheStig
Sense and rational thought are certainly not lacking here, it's just they run opposite to your opinions ;)

This is no bad thing, horses for courses and all that.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:38, Reply)

@Lab
Oh I perfectly understand that, matey :O)

Shame others don't....
(The Stig, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:39, Reply)

Sense and rational thought
have no place here. Here is for people yelling DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVE and giggling and jiggling and hugs and flexes
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:39, Reply)

Clendrix
From this day forward, you shall be my idol. I shall work my hardest to emulate your wonderful life ethic!

Minus any rational thought of course.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:39, Reply)

@ spakka
!!!

edit@ STig - well, what else does perfume come in?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:39, Reply)

Crap Joke Time
A stranger was seated next to a little girl on an airplane. The stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'

'Oh, I don't know,' He said 'How about nuclear power?' Smirking like the twat that he is.

'OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence,
thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.'

To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?'
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:39, Reply)

@piston_broke
Unfortunately, I'll probably be heading up North twice next month so I think I'll skip that one.

BTW: Are you coming to the 1-11 Manchester bash?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:40, Reply)

@Happylittletulip
You can have solid perfume, which comes in a tub.

uk.loccitane.com/FO/Catalog/Catalog.aspx?cat=usg_fr_SolidPerfume
(The Stig, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:42, Reply)

*cough*
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/16696

*pimps*
*cough*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:42, Reply)

HLT
Oooh ooh I know I know! What about those things that perfume used to come in with the bit you squeezed and it would spray? They had a name that wasn't "bottle".

Although I can't remember it.

carry on as if I weren't here
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:43, Reply)

Splendid n-r!
Do you have more?
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:43, Reply)

Never-Right
I like that one!

Lucy, I feel honoured and overwhelmed by your praise and shall do my best to uphold the values we hold so dear.
( thealternativefact, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:45, Reply)

@ BK
Consider it truly pimped!
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:46, Reply)

If we're pimping bahses
Here's the Saturday 18th October London Bash
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:46, Reply)

Someone
say gin?

I've got a litre of export strength tanq waiting for me at home, cannae wait to crack it open tonight.

'Ning everyone!
(gin'll fix it, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:46, Reply)

@LvP
Ooh, yes, you're right.

I retract my former comments about perfumes and bottles.

Sorry.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:47, Reply)

I May
Have a few more but will save them for later..

Got to do a little bit of work for a bit
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:47, Reply)

I imagined
that gin'll fix it would pop up at some point, having smelled the booze-soaked thread we have created.

Morning Gin!
( thealternativefact, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:48, Reply)

@LvP
Atomiser?
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:48, Reply)

Hello, it's my b3ta birthday.
Just thought I'd share that.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:49, Reply)

LvP
An atomiser?

Edit: bah, misspiggy got there before me!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:49, Reply)

@LvP
A vapouriser?
(The Stig, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:51, Reply)

Yes
An atomiser.

Thanks guys.

Now I know what it's called, I shall strive to crowbar that into conversation at some point today!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:51, Reply)

@oneinthepink
So where's yer candle then?

EDIT: 'ning gin'll fix it.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:51, Reply)

Morning clendrix!
I have noticed a distinct correlation between the frequency of my posts and the mention of alcohol...
(gin'll fix it, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:51, Reply)

Gin
That's why you're very welcome here!

Happy Birthday, Pinky.
( thealternativefact, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:55, Reply)

happy b3taday Pinky!
I am off to town to meet an Evil Pixie. Who I believe likes pink gin.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:56, Reply)

Dunno where my candle is.
Can I be a spoilt brat and demand one?
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:57, Reply)

Well Al
My thinking was that a bottle is something with a lid and because it has a different lid thingy it has a different name.

Maybe it's a type of bottle.

*confuzzled*
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:58, Reply)

oitp
you have to have donated to get the candle by your name :-P
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:58, Reply)

Mini Hippo Returns, Pinky!
Have a great B3taday!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:59, Reply)

@oneinthepink
I'll spoil you by wishing you birthday wishes even though you've not got a candle.

_{Happy b3taday}
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:59, Reply)

@pinky
hipy papy bthuth bthuthday to you!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:02, Reply)

Al
I'm thinking of the old school things with the squirty bit that is separate. I shall have a rootle around on google images and see what I find.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:03, Reply)

AFAIK
Candles appear anyways, irrespective of whether you've donated or not.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:03, Reply)

Dough-nay-shuns? I'm too poor for that.
Just managed to get my new place today, signing the documents in an hour or so - good times.

Skint now - bad times.


CHEERS for the best wishes.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:03, Reply)

Like this!
www.wrappedandready.co.uk/shop/productimages/11546264143204A%20Melo.jpg
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:04, Reply)

LvP
Yep, that's an atomiser :)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:06, Reply)

Oh blimey
All this atomiser talk is confusing me!

Anyway, aren't they cool? I'd like one. But I've run out of my favourite perfume.

:(
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:07, Reply)

I have just eaten my lunch
It was quite revolting!

It tasted good hot last night, but as cold leftovers eeeeeuuugh!

Need industrial strength coffee now,
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:08, Reply)

@LVP
And what is your favourite perfume?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:09, Reply)

Afternoon all
Having sorted my monumental fuck up this morning, I can post freely this afternoon!

How are you all?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:09, Reply)

HLT
It's Sunset Heat by Escada.
It's lovely.

My mum brought some out to me when she came to visit me in Sicily because she said it smelt like Fruit salad bars and she knows how much I like sweets.

And now I've run out. I'm going to buy some more with my first pay packet from wherever I get a job!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:12, Reply)

Favourite perfume
Mine is Prada.

I have a lousy sense of smell and most perfumes smell the same to me. I like Prada because it contains sandalwood.

Mmmm woody....
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:14, Reply)

Him of Jim
We're alright.*
Glad the fuck-up is sorted. How will you celebrate this tonight? Any fun plans?

*I like speaking for everyone :)
( thealternativefact, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:15, Reply)

@LvP
That sounds lully!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:17, Reply)

Ah, lunch
For once, it is free. Whoever said there was no such thing as a free lunch was clearly smoking something highly illegal.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:17, Reply)

Bah!
Another half hour til lunch time

*noms ibuprofen*

*edit*
Hello himjim!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:18, Reply)

HLT
It really is. I'm not a perfumey girl because a lot of them are far too floral. I like citrus things but this smells just like sweets.

I always get complimented when I wear it and it reminds me of Sicily. I love it.

Dammit I really need to get some more!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:19, Reply)

@al
Pasta stuffed with mushroom, some green stuff and goats cheese. And way too much truffle oil.

Words cannot fully describe.
Plastic parcels stuffed with wet papier mache ....

The goats cheese was good though (Lidl)
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:19, Reply)

LvP
You still not going to the 18th october bash?
(The Stig, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:21, Reply)

I have to go now
My sister needs me to give her advice about installing a broadband connection.

See ya!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:22, Reply)

Stig
Ooh random! Where did that come from?

I don't know, I need to assess my financial situation. And it looks like I might have an interview in Cardiff next week which will drain my purse that little bit more.

I'm trying though because I do want to!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:23, Reply)

@LvP
It was random because I was getting bored of the perfume thing! :O)

Fridays just aren't what they used to be......
(The Stig, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:25, Reply)

The Man wouldn't dare mess with me
I'd blow his tiny little mind.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:25, Reply)

Hey Guys
are we well?

I've just bought a meal deal from Boots and as it's my 6th of the month it was free, woohooo!
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:33, Reply)

Batman
Go you! What did you get?
( thealternativefact, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:34, Reply)

Afternoon all
Well I've been teaching reception this morning.

I loved that. That is what I want to do!!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:37, Reply)

hey Batman
Go you!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:38, Reply)

Yeah, I'm bringing down the system!Woohah!
I got a chicken and sicillain lemon sarnie (which is fantastico), a packet of paprika walkers (which are also the sex) and a packet of grapes. Oh and a big bottle of water. I was using one of the self service check out thingys and tried to steal the grapes so it would be entirely free but an old woman caught me. So lunch cost 50p :(
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:39, Reply)

Brilliant!
Batman apprehended by an old woman.
( thealternativefact, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:40, Reply)

@TGB
I seem to remember you saying your Facebook account had some, er, special interest pictures of yourself on it. That wouldn't be why someone's keen to have a look, would it? :P
( Kroney, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:43, Reply)

Unfortunately
I'd left my Super Batman Grumpy Old Bitch Repellent Spray in my other trousers.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:45, Reply)

Kroney - Did I say that!?
I think more like "hideously awful" pictures of me!

There are a lot of my boobs as well though.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:48, Reply)

TGB
Those are the ones I was referring to, yes!
( Kroney, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:48, Reply)

random question
does anyone (vipros?) know why guitars are called axes?

went to see riflemind last night - trafalgar studios serves the biggest buckets of wine in the world - and it was really good, but it's always puzzled me, that.

and we had front row seats. all 8 girls of us agreed, it was very hard not to reach out and caress john hannah when his arse was inches from our greedy faces. very hard indeed. he's short, grey, beardy and thin. why is he so hot??!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:55, Reply)

Al if you are good
I may facebook you :p

Does a lot of research need to be done on boobs?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:56, Reply)

rachelswipe
I always thought it was because of Kiss. The used to play with axe shaped guitars. There's a mahoosive chance I'm wrong though.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:59, Reply)

@ TGB
ane fule kno that research into boobs is a neverending thankless task performed by millions of men.
Every. Single. Day.
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:00, Reply)

*dips in*
Fluff!
www.kitv.com/news/17651569/detail.html

Blog pimp!
CtrlAltHeal.blogspot.com

Hope you're all TFI Friday!

*dips out again*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:01, Reply)

If you say so never :p
I appear to only be able to pull one of about 4 poses in a photo!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:04, Reply)

Hurrah!
Teh fluffeh!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:06, Reply)

Indeed Al
We never seem to bequest any thanks for it tho.
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:10, Reply)

Wow
I never realised how hard men must work all the time gathering data and compiling boob reports.

I just thought they were ogling.

Learn something new every day
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:10, Reply)

How odd...
No31 is particularly fond of boobs and yet didn't stay to discuss. Perhaps he's more of a practitioner than theorist.
( thealternativefact, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:13, Reply)

No TGB not ogling
Merely processing data via the medium of the eye, in order to compile a mind report for use at a later date. Type info into the central computer.

I think
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:14, Reply)

@ TGB
It is an epic labour of love on the part of us men.

Many's the time I've stood in Wildcats in a bobble hat with a notebook hoping to glimpse the 36FF from Wakefield!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:15, Reply)

Al I assume
by "file reports" you mean wank and by "to the central computer" you mean furiously
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:16, Reply)

bobble hats!
*jiggles*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:16, Reply)

@ TGB
al is going to wank the reports furiously?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:17, Reply)

Every time I hear the word bobble hat
I always think of that Paul Kaye character, Labian Quest.

Anyone else kno of him?

Absolute comedy gold..

He can be found on u tub.
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:18, Reply)

damn you hlt
and my slow internet! I did attempt to ninja that :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:19, Reply)

Ahem... did someone mention jubblies?
No Noel, you're at work, stop it.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:20, Reply)

In answer to rswipe's question
I'd assumed they were called axes because they were essentially axe-shaped.

Kiss just took it to the next logical step and made them look like axes too.

The jazz thing does make sense though, and I can see that it would have stuck with guitars as they are, as previously mentioned, axe-shaped.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:21, Reply)

@n-r
Now you mention it:

*wikis*

"One example was Labian Quest, an eccentric upper-class composer who turns out to have written many of the best-known English football chants, such as "In your Everton slums" and "Who the fucking hell are you?" (in Quest's words, "a generic piece concerning identity and belonging")."
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:21, Reply)

My Marina is
called Jubbly as well, mainly because the numberplate is JBL and partly because it is quite a bouncy ride
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:24, Reply)

*Sings*
'Iiiiiiiin your Ev-er-ton slums'

*Note* That was a quote from Labian, I'm by no way slagging of any football team
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:25, Reply)

Sad but true
My mates old man owns a rock pub in Glasgow(The Solid Rock Cafe if anyone fancies knowing) and he has got one of Kiss' axe guitars hanging behind the bar. Apparently there's only 5 around.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:27, Reply)

*finishes nomming his lovely lunch*
Hello again all, how the devil are you?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:35, Reply)

BK
You did say Wildcats, didn't you?

That's the strip bar where McDermotts used to be, right? In Wakey?

I remember going in there with my then best mate after I'd been spectacularly dumped. I had a very nice conversation with a medical student while she waved her boobs at me. Great days.

Of course, it turned out that my 'best mate' was the reason that my girlfriend dumped me, so it's not a perfect mamma memory...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:41, Reply)

Are we all talking boobies.
*jiggles*

I love boobies. I don't like mine very much but boobies in general are lovely
( girlinthehole, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:44, Reply)

Boobies
I don't believe I know anyone that doesn't like boobies. I think boobie appreciation could well be a universal constant.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:46, Reply)

@ DiT
That's the one.

Harrogate Beer Festival last year.
Managed to nick sponsors passes which entitles us to free beer.
Went up for another and the woman, as she hands a half of Speckled Hen says,
"Which of the sponsors you work for then?"
I looked at the big screen where they were listed and said;
"Wildcats!" winked at her, and walked off.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:48, Reply)

I'm pretty indifferent to them.
Apparently they make me very huggable though
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:51, Reply)

Did somebody say boobies?
*strolls in*

*jiggles*

*goes back to sitting in the corner*
( wanderlust, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:52, Reply)

I do rather prefer a nice thigh
*Mmmm*
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:52, Reply)

Boobies
are all of the win!

*hypnotised by jiggling Blouse*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:53, Reply)

@Al
I bloody love Bourbons! All other biscuits pale in comparison.

*awaits deluge of disagreement*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:53, Reply)

bourbons FTW!
Closely followed by custard creams.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:56, Reply)

Chocolate Digestives
FTW!!
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:56, Reply)

oh dear
Al is having a /talk episode
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:58, Reply)

OH NOES!
Somebody broke al!

Speak to me geordie, speak to me....!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:59, Reply)

aha
thanks for that!

i have a m&s moroccan snack box - falafel, houmous and rice/chickpea salad. i thought it was healthy, but checking the bottom of the pack, i find i am in fact eating a year's lard supply. ah well.

what are you lot scoffing? other than bourbons, which i do like, but come on, compared to jammy wagon wheels? or penguins? or m&s jaffa orange viennese biscuits? no no no!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 13:59, Reply)

I have just eaten a BLT
Which is full of bad things, but HSBC pissed me off and I have a headache, so it was time for comfort food.

*noms*

EDIT: Al, you're some kind of comic genius, and must be stopped!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:01, Reply)

Ahem!
Fig rolls are the best.

End of.

*jiggles boobies and strokes thighs.*
( girlinthehole, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:02, Reply)

*steps over al's conversation*
I've just finished some sushi, one of the pre-packaged lot from somerfield, which was actually quite nice! The right amount of soy sauce and wasabi, yum!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:03, Reply)

JAFFA CAKES!
That's all.
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:06, Reply)

Now then....
Let's not start the is it a cake/is it a biscuit argument...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:07, Reply)

Hmm
Biscuits get soft when they're stale and cakes get hard...... so jaffa cakes are....cakes.

Tells self off.
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:09, Reply)

Oh, they are cakes...
but there's always someone who insists they're biscuits, despite the high court ruling!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:11, Reply)

Bourbons are OK.....
....but stroopwaffels are the best. Our zany, laid back, pot smoking chums from the lowlands know a thing or two about biscuits, cakes and chocolate.
(The Stig, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:12, Reply)

The EU
passed a motion a while ago saying they were cakes apparently. I'll try find it.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:12, Reply)

*steals al's idea*
(Alopeciasimian Has a JMG up his arse, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:13, Reply)

*does it better*

EDIT

*felches*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:14, Reply)

*fists*
(Alopeciasimian Has a JMG up his arse, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:14, Reply)

here:
Under UK law, no VAT is charged on biscuits and cakes — they are "zero rated". Chocolate covered biscuits, however, are subject to VAT at 17.5%. McVities classed its Jaffa Cakes as cakes, but in 1991, this was challenged by Her Majesty's Customs and Excise and the case ended up before the courts.[6] This may have been because Jaffa Cakes are about the same size and shape as some types of biscuit. A question that the court asked itself was "what criteria should be used to class something as a cake?"

McVities defended its classification of Jaffa Cakes as cakes. In doing so it produced a giant Jaffa Cake to illustrate that its Jaffa Cakes were simply miniature cakes.

McVities argued that a distinction between cakes and biscuits is, inter alia, that biscuits would normally be expected to go soft when stale, whereas cakes would normally be expected to go hard. It was demonstrated to the Tribunal that Jaffa Cakes become hard when stale. Other factors taken into account by the Chairman, Mr Potter QC, included the name, ingredients, texture, size, packaging, marketing, presentation, appeal to children, and manufacturing process. Contrary to a commonly held belief, whether something is considered a 'luxury item' is not a test for VAT purposes.

Mr Potter ruled that the Jaffa Cake is a cake. McVities therefore won the case and VAT is not paid on Jaffa Cakes

how much would you like a go on that giant jaffa cake???
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:15, Reply)

Then why the fuck are they always, and I repeat always.....
In the biscuit section of the supermarket.


*harumph*
( girlinthehole, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:17, Reply)

@al
Are we talking the deluxe model with the nob attached to increase and decrease the intensity of the vibration, or the old one that just vibrates, spins and makes terrifying noises?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:20, Reply)

*Admires BGB Thigh*
*snaps out of it*

Jaffa cakes? Jaffa cakes?

Dis-gusting


Bleaurgh
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:22, Reply)

@ al
Massage device.
Yep.

Definately.
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:23, Reply)

@never-right
YOU'RE WRONG! Jaffa cakes are pure sex.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:23, Reply)

The Rampant Rabbit scare me.
I like my sex toys to be more simple in design and look more like a vibrator than an instrument of torture.
( girlinthehole, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:23, Reply)

@ bgb
despite the above, they are clearly biscuits. yes, yes they are.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:24, Reply)

@BGB
The moment someone invents a vibrator than can open jars and go down the shop to buy chocolate, we're Dodos! Kaput!
(The Stig, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:25, Reply)

@al
That'd be the deluxe one then, most of my lady friends find them a little too big and scary, they tend to go for smaller, smoother, little pink friends. That way they can carry them everywhere in their handbags too!

Hello every woman I've slept with and introduced to vibrators since 2003!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:26, Reply)

Rampant Rabbits FTW
God bless those ears
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:27, Reply)

Vibrators
Do ladies really carry them in their handbags?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:27, Reply)

@Lab
I know a few who do, but I don't think it's so that they can lady-fwap anywhere, it's more so that nobody ever finds it or comes across it in their bedroom.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:29, Reply)

Oh Lordy
I'm itching to get down the pub.

Due to meet up with folk about 17:30, but I want a pint now!!!

They do a magnificent Speckled Hen on draught too!!

MMmmmm
Loveley, darkley, aley goodness.
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:29, Reply)

@ AL
Thats Ace!

I'll be going through Tesco tomorrow in the 'prone' position.
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:31, Reply)

I've just been to visit a school
just over the road from me. Very nice, good children.
The big problem is that they have got God, big time. They are a church school which means that they get money from the church and the children attend services. Now I though this wouldn't be to much of a problem to me, I went to a church school. However each class had a display saying the God is Love and that kind of shit.

My problem is that I don't think I could work in a school where I am required to openly lie. However I really need a job.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:36, Reply)

Hey Mrs L
Well that is a tough one :S

How long would you be working there?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:39, Reply)

@Mrs Bin
Kids are lied to all the time, I wouldn't worry about it. Or are you saying you will have to pretend to the school head that you are God-fearing to get the job?
( girlinthehole, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:39, Reply)

Thats a tough one Mrs L
I went to a CofE too so I know what you mean.

I really didn't want to get our daughter christened because I felt it would be hypocritical to do so. She was christened in the end after we reasoned that we both already were and it never affected us.

Perhaps if you did work there, then you may be a voice of reason perhaps for some of the kids?

Then again telling a 5 year old God is a lie may cause issues.

Edit *What BGB said* ^^
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:39, Reply)

Mrs Bin
You're not comprimising your beliefs so what difference does it make.

'noon all.

My head is all manner of painful due to shite work.

Ginger Nuts are the best biscuit!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:42, Reply)

Occasionally
My little girl comes home from school saying that she learned about Jesus or God that day, and that they're both in her heart, and that a certain flower she's wearing, or a sticker or somesuch rubbish represents that. My response to her is always the same;

"Bollocks"

and it hasn't done her any harm.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:42, Reply)

i think I'll
worry about it if I get an interview.

It's not as bad as Catholic schools where you have to TAKE mass in your classroom. I couldn't do that.

I went to a CofE school and I worked out there was no God all on my own when I was 7. I guess if I give them enough grounding in science then they'll catch on.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:45, Reply)

Oh great(!)
We've moved onto religion. That's a less inflammatory subject than the biscuit chat! :O)
(The Stig, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:46, Reply)

I'm an EXCELLENT father
My bollocks cause her mental trauma, she represses the memories and therefore forgets all about Jesus.

WIN
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:46, Reply)

Bert
Your bollocks cause us all mental trauma.

Except Al. We all know he loves them.
( thealternativefact, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:48, Reply)

*traumatises*

Hi ancrenne, how goes things?

*blows kisses at al*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:51, Reply)

Right
I'm off up the shops.

Laters
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:53, Reply)

Hullo ancrenne!
*waves*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:53, Reply)

@Mrs Liveinabin
You're a phoney! You don't live in a bin, you live in a creaky old house.

Look everybody, Mrs Liveinabin's a phoney!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:54, Reply)

I might have gone
but I can still hear you Burt!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:55, Reply)

hello again
Suddenly got busy.

*hugs all*
*flexes* at Clendrix
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:55, Reply)

I think Mrs Bin lives in a wheelie bin
and wheels herself around using a big stick.

*sees flex*
*dribbles*
( thealternativefact, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:56, Reply)

Stig
you seem to have missed the point of b3ta

what brought us all here was that we could indulge in our twisted senses of humour, our love of nonsense and the ability to discuss inflammatory subjects without fear of reprisal for our off-the-wall opinions.

Rather than letting these things spill over into real life where they would earn us weird looks, castigation or a lifetime behind bars...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:57, Reply)

And DiT
isn't in tights! Phoney!! *enters crazy Family Guy Episode*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:57, Reply)

I'm not going to judge Mrs Bin on the sort of place she lives in
so there.

Mrs Bin is lovely.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:58, Reply)

I didn't realise Mrs bin
is a teacher, I just re-read her reply imagining her as a stern primary school teacher, and well, now there's a mess in my pants.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 14:59, Reply)

Oh Tightly is in tights, believe me.
*quivers*
*smiles*
( thealternativefact, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:00, Reply)

How *Dare* You?
I am always in tights. Today they are red, fishnet, and crotchless.

*struts*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:05, Reply)

Then you're all liars
DiT and I are the only ones with honest usernames.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:11, Reply)

?
Mine's perfectly true.
( thealternativefact, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:12, Reply)

Yeah
Well I'm Never Right

Oh that doesnt work does it
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:12, Reply)

It's all true!
I haven't shaved for a week. I'm living a lie.

*cries*

Hello all, and goodbye again for I am leaving work early today to go to the pub.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:13, Reply)

Tights!
*shudders*


I wore a pair of tights a few weeks ago.....and a dress.



And it wasn't for a bet.
( girlinthehole, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:15, Reply)

Wookers!
I hate you.
( thealternativefact, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:18, Reply)

My mum
used to give my big brother tights to wear at school if it was a cold day. The sick bastard wore them with pride as well.

I, on the other hand, had to wear socks with the name Alan on them (my name is Andrew) because my Gran went nutty and forgot my name.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:19, Reply)

my username is only partly true
I'm never happy and I'm ENORMOUS
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:19, Reply)

Ancrenne
Your tights sound the ratherest thing! *snaps pictures for tights collection*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:20, Reply)

Aww, Tulips
You're not enormous, I bet you're all of 5 foot nothing.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:21, Reply)

Tights are the work of the Devil.
The 'pop sock' is an even bigger passion killing abomination.
(Oil Slick, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:21, Reply)

Hmm
I'm not anyone's boss, and I certainly don't look like this:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keloid

*shudders*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:23, Reply)

Mine is 100% true
fact
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:23, Reply)

ahhh, Bert, you're about 5 inches off the mark (fnar fnar)
I'm a bit taller than that.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:24, Reply)

BK
EEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!

Thanks for that :(
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:25, Reply)

Damn!
My plan has been foiled!

I was once in a play called Popcorn, where my character had a line that was along the lines of 'there is no sexy way to take off a pair of tights'.

In the book, and the play, the woman he's talking to proved him wrong. The actress who played that part opposite me in the play did extremely well too.

So yes, tights can be sexy, if removed in the proper way.

Stockings will always be FTW though.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:25, Reply)

Right I'm off home.
But I'll be back.......



I think.
( girlinthehole, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:27, Reply)

@ Tulip
You're 4'7"?

You are ickle!

*feels tall*
*is unused to the sensation*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:27, Reply)

@DiT
I'm intrigued, so how's it done? I must admit that stripy tights can be excused....*drifts off into memories of VI form girls a long, long time ago.....*
(Oil Slick, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:29, Reply)

Stockings
FTW!
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:33, Reply)

Sorry to stick this in here
but there's a rather amusing (well I think it is) conversation going on over here :

www.b3ta.com/questions/spoiltbrats/post268049#qotw-post-268220
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:33, Reply)

no silly
I'm 5 foot 5!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:33, Reply)

hello again
I've been to town with my mum.
She bought me a yellow belly snake to nom.
In half an hour I'm going to visit my grandparents with my dad.

I think I've regressed back to my childhood.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:35, Reply)

*bounces in*
Has everyone got their book bags and homework?

Right, "Good Afternoon Year 3"


Now they've gone I'm of to the pub.


(really I'm off to pick up Mr Bin from work.)
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:40, Reply)

@Oil Slick
Haha, I can't explain it on account of the fact that I am a man.

It involves straddling chairs and lip biting and slow, sensual movements.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:41, Reply)

Al
It is pretty cool. The best thing about being back in Wiltshire is getting to spend much more time with my ace mum. She likes it too!

She's buying me takeaway pizza tonight too but I have to order it in Italian.
thems the rules.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:41, Reply)

Morning all...
How are we?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:41, Reply)

My mum would give me free sweets
As she owns a sweet shop (with proper jars of weigh out sweets and everything, fnarr fnarr)

Except I'm diabetic so I can't eat any of them

How shit is that?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:43, Reply)

@DiT
Well I'm a bloke and often have to bite my lip during slow movements, but then that's usually straddling the bog rather than a chair and you can hardly call an amoebic parasite sensual....
(Oil Slick, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:43, Reply)

In a different timezone?
1 1/2 hours till I get to go home wooooooooooo
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:45, Reply)

Sam I Am
Can I marry your mum?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:47, Reply)

Al
I ALWAYS wear my catsuit to posh events. I polish the buckles on it and everyfin!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:51, Reply)

I'll ask her if you want
You'll have to get round my dad, but at the moment he seems more interested in the prospect of acquiring a 1972 bay window Westfalia conversion VW bus! (can you tell he goes on about it a lot? I've just been reading a big stack of VW enthusiast magazines whilst having my breakfast)
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:54, Reply)

Right
I'm off to visit my tiny granny and my tall sweary grampy.

Have a nice weekend folks if I don't speak to you again soon!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:56, Reply)

@ al
Amanda Palmer?!

*jealouses*

I so, so, so would!
is she playing anywhere up North do you know?

*edit* 400! W00t!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 15:56, Reply)

@ al
Bollocks, I had no idea she was touring!

I love the Dolls, I shall download some solo stuff I think. Haven't heard it yet.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 16:06, Reply)

Crap joke time

Two nuns in a bath.
"Where's the soap?"
"Yes, it does, doesn't it."

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 16:06, Reply)

Afternoon lovlies
I am returned from many long, wasted hours in uni, with many things not working. Generally quite a frustrating day.

Anything much exciting been happening round these here parts?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 16:09, Reply)

heh
I had (for some reason) 8 saved voicemails on my phone and it was really weird hearing them all start "Hi TGB it's [whoever]" with exactly the same rhythm!

/random
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 16:10, Reply)

Afternoon Penguin
Another hard day of unemployment and web surfing over here...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 16:14, Reply)

Hey PoD
Just counting down the final 15 minutes til the weekend. Going to be good!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 16:17, Reply)

I bet you're looking forward to it BK
Somehow today I managed to be more organised than my advisor. I get a bad feeling that it's going to be a recurring theme throughout the year unfortunately.

Weekend!
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 16:18, Reply)

Did someone mention giant jaffa cakes?
www.pimpthatsnack.com/project.php?projectID=332
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 16:19, Reply)

Crap Joke
A man is driving along the motorway with his wife in the passenger seat. During the drive, the wife gets an idea. She starts taking off her clothing piece by piece and tossing them out the window.

The guy is shocked but aroused. She gets her shoes, socks, etc. and chucks them all out. Finally, she whips off her underwear and throws it all out onto the motorway. The guy isgetting well horny and cannot keep his eye's off of her.
He loses control of the car in the process and crashes into a barrier at the side.

Unfortunately, the air-bag doesn't go off on his side, and he finds himself wedged in under the steering wheel. "Help, go get help......aggghhhh, I'm stuck", he shouts.

"But I have no clothes on. What'll I do ?", she screams.

"Here", he says wiggling his foot, "Take my shoe and put it over your crotch. It'll have to do, love. Quick, hurry!"

She takes the shoe off his foot and places it over her crotch and gets out of the car, limping and shouting for help. After a few hundred yards of yelling and running a trucker notices this naked hysterical woman holding a shoe over her crotch, and pulls over.

"What's seems to be the trouble?", he asks.

"Help me", she screams, "My husband is stuck".

"If he's stuck up that far love then I'm afraid There aint a thing I can do to help you."
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 16:25, Reply)

No3l
That... is... masterful.

*rushes out for ingredients*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 16:26, Reply)

Yay!
The boss has gone, I have a cup of tea and I haved turned the heating off so I'm no longer sweating to death.
All is well with the world.
( wanderlust, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 16:29, Reply)

I hate jaffa bloody cakes.
But bake one if it meaans Al will attend a bash.
( thealternativefact, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 16:32, Reply)

I don't like jaffa cakes
But for you al, I shall make one!
My brothers once made a giant reeses peanut butter cup. We estimated there to be 36,000 calories in it.

Edit: ancrenne! *cuddles*
( wanderlust, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 16:35, Reply)

My good Friends
Did the Giant Cola Bottle for my suprise 30th this year.

Its was all of the aceness.

Pimp That Snack FTW!!
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 16:35, Reply)

I have Irn Bru
I like to think of it as my equivalent of tea. Other people like to tell me I have a problem.

And hi 'lusty.

*waves*

How be you?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 16:35, Reply)

I'm fine PoD
I'm looking forward to the weekend! You ok?
( wanderlust, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 16:37, Reply)

I'm not bad
Just got lots of work to be doing. Some this evening, more tomorrow, more Sunday. What a weekend it shall be!
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 16:38, Reply)

Oh dear.
Work on a weekend is never fun.

Still, it could be worse. You could have aids or something.
( wanderlust, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 16:42, Reply)

Because they're not sure if the airline will have gone bust by then!
And the best hangover cure ever is clearly lots of fried things, cigarettes and copious tea. And more alcohol if it's a really bad one.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 16:54, Reply)

did someone just try to give me
a sneaky cuddle?

I feel like I'm getting loved from all angles.
*enjoys*
( wanderlust, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 16:56, Reply)

Should be alright if you book far enough in advance
Although trying to book now seems to be stretching it a bit!

How COULD you forget tea?!?!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 17:03, Reply)

In a mosque, ancrenne?
Pourquoi?

I shall mostly be sitting at my desk on my pc or laptop.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 17:04, Reply)

I don't think I've ever been in a mosque
Although I have had a couple of pisses on the side of the East London Mosque when I've been hammered...

(note: this is because it's one of the most convenient alleys for such activity on the Whitechapel Road, not due to any religious/political/terrorist motivations)

*waits for fatwa to be issued*
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 17:06, Reply)

*issues fatwa*
Just for the craic, like...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 17:09, Reply)

That seems to make sense, A
I have just realised I have pretty much no food in the house for dinner tonight.

It may end up being toasties and some pasta later on. Tasty.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 17:15, Reply)

Well I have some food
But it's all very, very frozen. Like chicken, and haggis, which I don't want to defrost in the microwave, as I fear that it would death me.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 17:20, Reply)

Night all!
See you on the other side!

*ghostbusts*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 17:30, Reply)

@ancrenne
Look at all those people who aren't already at home heading off from work now.

How we can laugh at them. Maybe.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 17:35, Reply)

Or maybe not....
Haggis and chicken will be fine if you defrost them, long as you're careful...

If you're a bit of an idiot with this sort of thing (or a jessie) then the haggis will probably be safer.

Edit: on the subject of food I think I'm going to make a (yet another) fry up. It's quick, easy, and good for the soul.

Plus I haven't washed the frying pan for a week now so it's starting to taste AMAZING :D
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 17:37, Reply)

Chicken gave me the food poisoning once
And I found some breaded chicken things anyway that go in the oven.

Toasties shall be supper instead.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 17:38, Reply)

It's fine as long as it's properly defrosted first (microwave or low heat)
And then reaches a core temperature of 75C for 2 minutes (yes I've worked in catering)

Apparently the EU are planning to ban blue/very rare steaks as they do not meet this requirement. Philistines.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 17:41, Reply)

Actually,
I am led to believe that even if chicken is cooked entirely properly, you can still get the poisoning from it in some cases.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 17:43, Reply)

Haggis is lovely if cooked right
I do a nice haggis stir fry. 'Tis yummy.

I've started an evening thread now, seeing as this one is getting a tad slow lately.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 17:51, Reply)