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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Morning.

(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 7:49, 355 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
Morning 'lusty
It's early. I don't like it.

Are you well?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 7:58, Reply)
morning PoD
I'm very well after a lovely weekend.

How are you today apart from being up early?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 7:59, Reply)
*yawns*
Mrnong you two, anyone fancy taking me back to bed?


Ooh look^^^ a spelling mistake, it must be early.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:02, Reply)
aww sleepy Bert.
Come back to bed with me, I'll look after you.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:03, Reply)
Wahey
Can I be the little spoon, please? I never get to be the little spoon :(
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:04, Reply)
Morning Bert
As spelling mistakes go, that one's awesome.

I am well apart from being tired. Got my hand in for today completed before 10pm last night which made me smile :)
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:05, Reply)
Morning!
It's sunny, and it was light when I came into work this morning. I like this.

I had a lovely weekend. And today I'm going to make more soup.

How's everyone?
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:05, Reply)
Well done you, little penguin
Mr Nong everyone!
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:06, Reply)
Heheh
Mr Nong :)

It's the new Ning!
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:08, Reply)
Bert
Can we take it in turns?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:08, Reply)
Morning!
I have been up since very early this morning.
:(
And I still have to go to the job centre. Bleargh.

And one of my mum's little finches passed on to the biggest cage in the sky this morning.

It's been all go and it's only just 8 in the morning! How are you lot?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:08, Reply)
Morning dear Lucy
It was light when I woke up here, and it may be dry outside. I haven't looked yet, and I'm not entirely sure.

And now I must go and attend lectures and the like. What funs.

Bye all.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:11, Reply)
Sure we can, lusty
I've got to snuggle my cock between your buttocks as we spoon at some point.

Morning Lucy, would you like to join in with the spooning? Hell, anyone can join in, we'll have a whole cutlery set going.

EDIT Bye PoD!
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:14, Reply)
Good morning all
and happy new week.

I've been away for a bit (bet you never even noticed) but I'm back now.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:15, Reply)
Ooh spooning
Yes please, I love a good spoon.

Until someone farts, then the moment is ruined.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:15, Reply)
Mr Nong, K2k6
@Lucy For some reason, I rarely fart.

I think the first time I ever farted I must have been about 21, you should have seen the look of surprise on my face!
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:17, Reply)
Yay K2k6
I noticed you were gone.

I told a rubbish joke and no one liked it. I wanted you there as I knew you'd appreciate it.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:19, Reply)
Morning K2k6!
Of course we missed you!

Bert - Do you burp a lot? I've heard of people not being able to burp but never of people who don't fart much!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:19, Reply)
I liked your joke, lusty
It was awful, but good.

To be honest, until you mentioned it, hadn't realised you were gone, K2k6. Sorry. Have a biscuit.

@Lucy Nope, I hardly ever burp either. I'm worried that some day I might just explode from all the gas I'm storing.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:23, Reply)
Oh!
I was missed.

*pleaseds*

So what was your rubbish joke then, Lusty? I'm here to appreciate the groansome end of the joke spectrum.

I drop particularly smelly farts quite regularly, by the way. Just thought you all might like to know.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:24, Reply)
@K2k6
*sniffs*

MmmmmMMMmmmm... Fragrant.

It was the Prawn again Christian joke, you know the one.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:26, Reply)
Oh yes, I know that one.
Can't remember all the details but I do remember the punchline.

And I'm smiling at it.

*smiles*

See?
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:29, Reply)
Morning all
Glad to see everyone present and corret following the weekend.

Now all I need is for it to be next weekend and I'll be happy again.

Oh, and I am responsible for some of the most vile, nasty air biscuits you can imagine. It's one of the things I see as an advantage to having Chrones!
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:33, Reply)
Ahh.... lovely
Now stop it, you're scaring the children.

It went; something about two Prawns, one called christian, the other called something insignificant, insignificant Prawn finds a Cod who's a genie, genie turns Prawn into a shark, shark scares away christian, Cod turns shark back into a Prawn, who then goes back to his friend and says 'It's alright, I'm a prawn again Christian!'

Hilarious.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:33, Reply)
I do enjoy a bad joke.
I prefer good jokes though.

Bert. The other prawn was called Justin.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:35, Reply)
Any old joke will do
I don't mind, bad or good, just about anything will make me smile.

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?

...one, you sexist cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:38, Reply)
Q & A
Q. What's the capital of iceland?

A. About £3.50.


Aithangyew!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:38, Reply)
@Placid
Arf!

What's orange and round?
An orange.

What's orange and sticky?
An orange on a stick.

What's orange and hard?
An orange with a flick-knife.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:40, Reply)
How many K2k6s does it take to change a lightbulb?
Well, normally just the one of me would do, but yesterday I fitted a new light and discovered that the bulb holder was a screw fitting. And I only had bayonet cap bulbs. So I'll need to buy a bulb today.

D'Oh.

But how many social workers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but the bulb has to really want to change.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:41, Reply)
Oh lightbulb jokes!
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but the lightbulb's really got to want to change.

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but fuck knows how they got in there.

And finally. courtesy of Bill Bailey...

How many amoeba does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two... no, four! No, eight! Sixteen!

Edit: *high-fives K2k6* :)
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:43, Reply)
Morning!
Hope everyone had a lovely weekend.

I did, but I'm really sleepy this morning.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:52, Reply)
Morning BK
It's all gone a bit quiet in here.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:57, Reply)
Mr Nong all
I am lying in bed next to Ancrenne :)
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:58, Reply)
Hi, BK
Yes, it is a little quiet, Lusty.

*MAKES NOISE*

That better?

Edit@clendrix - Do tell...!

*resumes normal conversation style*
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:59, Reply)
@clendrix
Any room for me???
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 8:59, Reply)
@clendrix and lusty
Oi! Get back to the spooning, IMMEDIATELY.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:02, Reply)
Ancrenne has important pant meetings in London
so she's staying with me for a couple of nights.
There's always room for a Lusty!
*triple spoons*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:05, Reply)
Yay!
triple spoons!

Being in bed with two of the bestest b3at ladies is like the happiest christmas. If christmas was sexy.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:09, Reply)
*observes spooning*
'kinell, it's like a cutlery drawer in clendrix's bed now.

And the cutlery's got interesting girl-bits too...
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:11, Reply)
@Lusty
Xmas can be sexy!

*gets naked*
*dons Santa hat*
*rotates*

*edit*
And I've just seen your sig!

Ahahahahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:12, Reply)
Morning All
I'm taking a week off. Any suggestions?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:15, Reply)
Yeah, go
to the 7th Level.

Much sunnier than the 6th.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:17, Reply)
BK
That's a beautiful mental image right there.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:23, Reply)
Mornin' all
I'm in a terrible mood today.
God-fucking-damn-it I hate Mondays.
And I didn't sleep last night.
And it was really sunny on my way to work, but I couldn't find my fuckin' sunglasses.
And *aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhh*

*breathes slowly*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:26, Reply)
What's wrong?
*tickles furry chin*

Have a ciggy and a coffee. Much better.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:27, Reply)
Morning
I am very tired and irritable today, had a long and arduous weekend in the cold, and all I want to do is be in bed playing games.

Instead I'm at work.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:29, Reply)
Nothing is wrong in particular, I'm just a moody sod today
But I can't have a coffee 'til half ten, or a cigarette 'til after one fifteen.

*shakes fist*


EDIT: Mornin' Lab, sounds like we're on about the same wavelength today.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:29, Reply)
*breezes in*
Gooooood morning all *hugs*

*special cheer up hugs for Kaol*

I am a very happy badger today *grins*

edit: Lab do you need special cheer up hugs too?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:31, Reply)
Mr Nong!
Hiya Everyone,

Did everyone have a good weekend?
(bill, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:33, Reply)
Good Mornong
The rain is pattering, I've got a shedload of stuff to do before Postman Pat turns up with the contracty thing that was definitely sent (ahem) on Friday. The spawn are off school.

So I'm going to ignore the above and play the Boxhead Zombie games instead. Mmmm zombies.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:35, Reply)
Why so happy TGB?
Is because you are officially filthy?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:36, Reply)
Ning'
everyone!

Why are you so happy today Badger? Is everything still go for tomorrow night?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:36, Reply)
What do "special cheer up hugs" involve?
I've just had a shout at someone who thought it was a good idea to run through the workshop with a chisel in each hand.

*frowns*

Although shouting at people makes me feel better :)
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:37, Reply)
Morning folks
Just popping in to say hello really - I'll be off again soon.

/waves
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:38, Reply)
Can a gal not just be happy
And I am officially filthy now Al it's true *provides documentation*

And I think so Jim. I'm going out still at least :p

Kaol for you they involve, a hug, a bottle of whisky and some smokes :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:38, Reply)
Hmmmm
this documentation has bits of mud and grass all over it. Looks good enough to me.

Did you have a jolly last night?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:39, Reply)
Kaol
I think we're definitely on the same wavelength today!

Ah well, my boss isn't in today, so at least I hopefully won't get disturbed from my current task of rockin' out to industrial hardcore while being a forensicating guru.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:39, Reply)
Yes in the park
I must have rolled over the documents...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:41, Reply)
morning folks
our office has been moved around and I am now situated in a choice position, and most importantly, far away from the annoying guy I have been sat next to!

huzzah!

we played a cracking gig on saturday night too
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:42, Reply)
TGB,
That sounds amazing.
Apart from the whisky, it's too early for that.
Make it vodka, and you've got a deal :)

Lab, you're lucky your boss isn't in... Mine is, and I've just had a "Fight Club" moment, when he's in the meeting an the annoying client says "Can we get the icon in cornflower blue?"...
*grabs screwdriver*
*stalks corridors*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:43, Reply)
@ TGB
Good. I wasn't sure of the plans, but I think it's going to the Well? Who else is coming?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:47, Reply)
Vodka it is then
I have a radio woo! *dances*

There is only two of us in today and it's quiet so we are radio-ing it up.

Lab said he was *glares at Lab* and Duckie and possibly Ethel, I did to gaz him actually, and my housemate and possibly Pip and maybe a few of my other fiends. Who I should text.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:48, Reply)
Pffft, thanks for inviting me :(
You'll just have to wait 'til the 22nd...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:52, Reply)
Durham?
Hiya,

Does anyone know Durham at all?

I'm there overnight tomorrow and wondering if there is anywhere worth going/avoiding?
(bill, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:53, Reply)
TGB n Himjim
I may be coming, depends entirely on work and others.

If I do, I'll have a single, solitary pint, as I'll be driving. What time? I might grab food there.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:53, Reply)
Awesome!
A total gatheration! What about Evil Pixie and Slovakian Tom? And your housemate? And the small ginger one!

Edit: Bill, go to the Cathedral, you won't regret it.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:54, Reply)
Slovakian Tom!
*grins*

He's awesome!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:55, Reply)
I said my housemate
Slovakain Tom lives in London. I will ask the pixie and the ginger one
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:56, Reply)
We should get Slovakian Tom to
One of the London Bashes.

Although... I don't think
"Tom, you might remember me, we met at a house party when I punched a guy in the stomach. Then we drank vodka 'til you passed out."
would work particularly well...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 9:59, Reply)
@Kaol
He passed out? Did you play Drunken Buckaroo with him?

and Mr Nong to you.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:01, Reply)
No...
I think his girlfriend would've attacked me.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:02, Reply)
Don't forget
teaching him self defence.

That was great fun!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:05, Reply)
She would have yeah
she is feisty :p

I dunno how much of that night he remembers at all really...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:05, Reply)
Thanks himjim
Thanks, I'll see if I finish the day's work in time to do that. Any evening recommendations?
(bill, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:06, Reply)
Yeah Jim
I forgot about the self-defence, haha!

He was getting two very different lessons on it though, one was along the lines of "do this, and it'll stop them doing this, then hit them here like this", and the other was "hit 'em in the balls, stab them or bite them"
*smiles*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:08, Reply)
Hit em in the balls or bite
them. A classic lesson I'll never forget. He seemed very much against the idea of inflicting ball pain on another man!

Bill, I've never been out in Durham in the evening, just for a warm sandwich in a dodgy pub.
Sorry.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:11, Reply)
Yeah, he didn't like the idea much
Bit to be fair, the moment someone "crosses the line", their reproductive organs are fair game.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:13, Reply)
That's because
Slovakian Tom is nice.

I don't think I will let you meet him again if you are just going to try corrupt him.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:13, Reply)
Morning all
I've got a week off as 'tis half term.
Somehow it feels different to my general state of unemployment.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:15, Reply)
No worries
Thanks anyway himjim, it's probably not a good idea to go out and get smashed Tuesday night anyway. I'm then of to Gateshead for a days work on Wednesday so should really not be hungover!
(bill, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:17, Reply)
Mornin' Mrs Bin
What're your half-term plan then?
Keep looking for jobs?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:19, Reply)
@MrsLivesinacreakyoldhouse
The armchair in your profile pic looks very comfy.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:21, Reply)
It is a very comfy arm chair.
I am planning on spending a lot of this week in it.
I have no plans as yet Kaol as my car is still being put back together after me using it to kill an MX5.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:23, Reply)
Yo Mrs L
I'd say you could bake me lots of yummy things but I am broke till friday.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:25, Reply)
How did
you kill the MX5?

And I think your nose looks pretty comfy too.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:25, Reply)
Al, how can somebody's nose be comfy?
Are you asking to sit on her face, and use her nose as a prostate stimulator?

You dirty git.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:26, Reply)
@ Mrs Bin
I'm fancying making some cookies this week :D
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:27, Reply)
I was thinking
more of nasal sex, but I like your idea better.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:27, Reply)
You lot
are far to mucky for a Monday morning.

I killed an MX5 by crashing into it and writing it off!
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:29, Reply)
Morning
all you filthy b3tans.

Good weekends I trust.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:33, Reply)
Their filth is the only thing
Getting me through today so far :p

Although I've got coffee.
Dark, wonderful coffee...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:34, Reply)
I don't think I'd be
impressed if a guy sat on my nose.

Which is a weird thing to be writing at 1030 in the morning
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:36, Reply)
@TGB
Hmm.

Ladies sitting on my nose makes far more sense.

*has big nose*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:38, Reply)
I found
A white lump of goo at the bottom of my coffee.

I'm hoping it was where the powdered milk handn't dissolved.

I guess that's what you get for drinking machine coffee. Bloody Lavazza.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:38, Reply)
This has just
got to rude in a truly bizarre way for me. I'm off out, see you all later!
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:39, Reply)
@ scarpe
Ahh, yeah. Lavazza made me redundant last week.

Sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:39, Reply)
And
I can't get 'sit on my face and tell me that you love me' out of my head now...
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:39, Reply)
Scarpe,
That's NOT milk.
Go make yourself sick, we don't want you getting up the duff.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:40, Reply)
Did you know.
Sitting on someone's face is called Queening.


Hello!
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:41, Reply)
Hey BGB
*hugs*

I think I did, somewhere in the darkest recesses of my brain.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:42, Reply)
Is that an offer BK? :p
*dances round the office* I miss listening to music at work
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:42, Reply)
@TGB
This is you living up to your sig, young lady!

*wags nose finger*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:44, Reply)
Well I never knew until recently.
I thought I knew it all.

Just makes me think what other sexual names and stuff I am totally unaware off.



*goes out to buy plastic crown*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:44, Reply)
@BK
Oh well, as it's you I'll cope.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:45, Reply)
@ Blouse
Well, I had to have scissoring explained to me last week. Guess I'm not the man-of-the-world I thought I was.

*edit* @scarpe
I wouldn't - it tastes of lasagne and nicotine.

So I've been told.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:46, Reply)
Yesterday
I explained to my mum what wolf bagging is.

I'm pretty sure she's disgusted proud to have me as a daughter.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:47, Reply)
@Lusty
She looked impressed.
I saw her taking notes.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:48, Reply)
haha
wagging a finger at me BK? Showing me alternative options?

I'll stop now :p *takes off filth hat*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:49, Reply)
@TGB
Oh, you!

*attempts to take off own filth hat*
*is actually part of head*

Oh well.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:51, Reply)
I don't think
I'd want to explain wolf bagging to my mum.

And I'd like to think she wouldn't want to know.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:52, Reply)
@K2k6
I'm pretty sure she didn't want to know either. I'm also pretty sure she didn't want to know what a strawberry cheesecake was, or donkey punching, or an angry pirate, or the rules of soggy biscuit.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:57, Reply)
Wolf-bag your mum?
Sure, why not!

*grabs bacon and string*

*books plane ticket*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 10:58, Reply)
Why do you need
a plane ticket to wolf bag lusty's mum?

What's a strawberry cheesecake?

Actually, I think I just worked out what it probably is.

eww
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:03, Reply)
Miss Wander
I just had to look up half of those and really wish I hadn't!
(bill, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:03, Reply)
Oh dear
*phones mum to warn her to get out of the country for a bit*

I don't really think* that she'd appreciate it, Kaol!

*don't want to think otherwise
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:04, Reply)
A strawberry cheesecake
is when you spunk on a lady friend's face then punch her on the nose.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:04, Reply)
@ Lusty
Oh, don't forget the Brown Tie, and the New York Taco Dog!

The Superman is very funny too:D
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:05, Reply)
*mexican avalnaches al*
Hi everyone, I'm back from my teabreak, what are we talking about now?

EDIT @BK Superman?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:06, Reply)
*grins*
It's ok, my dear Mr. K, I'll take photos for you :)
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:07, Reply)
That
wasn't what I was thinking of for a strawberry cheesecake.

Whats a superman then? And I'm guessing the New York Taco Dog involves a cleveland steamer?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:08, Reply)
:@Bert
Apparently, it's spunking on a lady's back when she's asleep and sticking the sheet to her back. When she wakes it will have dried and it looks like she's wearing a cape.

*edit*
@ al.
Yeah, it's a tit-wank after a Cleveland Steamer.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:09, Reply)
I'm getting a bit lost here
Could we have a glossary please?

I know a number of these terms but am stumped by such gems as the Cleveland Steamer...
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:11, Reply)
I'd have thought
a strawberry cheesecake would be spunking and/or smearing cock cheese over the top of your lady's mimsy when she's on the blob.

Too much info? Yes, thank you.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:13, Reply)
That's what I thought of Bert
@K2k6 A Cleveland Steamer is a long solid poo.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:15, Reply)
Worryingly
I thought the same as Al and Bert.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:23, Reply)
Hurrah for filthy badgers!
Come and sit on my face and celebrate.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:25, Reply)
*sits on face*
*wiggles*

*endogasms*

*shits*
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:29, Reply)
Oh dear god
I was expecting cake and kittums cheering everyone up on this monday morning...

Now I know things I wish I didn't know.
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:29, Reply)
It's all gone a bit naughty here.
I think I'll come back after lunch.


*nips out*



No, not them sort of nips.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:29, Reply)
BGB
got her nips out and left.

I always arrive at the wrong time :(
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:30, Reply)
BGB
can't handle the heat, so she has to stay out of the kitchen. Especially when I'm doing the cooking, OH YEAH.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:31, Reply)
@clenders
Will a *flex* make up for missing BGB's nips?

*flexes*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:31, Reply)
*sits and celebrates*
This is a good way of celebrating *adds to top 5*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:31, Reply)
I thought Strawberry Cheesecake
was when you spunked on your lover's face and punched them in the nose?

What about a Boston Pancake?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:32, Reply)
We prefer our definition.
I've yet to find a woman who doesn't feel like a self-conscious berk when she's sitting on my face.

Just sit down, shut up, and get on with it woman!
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:34, Reply)
Bert
You are obviously just not finding the right kind of woman
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:36, Reply)
Damn this work
The worst of being away for the best part of a week is the crap you have to tidy up when you return. I've been doing sodding paperwork all morning then I've a meeting at 12.

What a bloody silly idea - I mean, 12 o'clock's lunchtime. You don't have meetings at lunchtime!

And it's getting interesting here too.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:36, Reply)
Beekers
It certainly will!

I'm not joining in the rudery talk. I'm not that kind of girl.

*sits in armchair with pipe and slippers*
*reads paper*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:38, Reply)
@TGB
So are you happy to just climb on and grind away on a guy's mouth?

Mrs Sexmonkey likes the odd 69, but frankly, I'd be happy if she smothered me until I suffocated. Forever.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:38, Reply)
*drapes smoking jacket over clenders' shoulders*
*cheeky flex*

@himjim.

Go on then, Boston pancake?
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:40, Reply)
A boston pancake
is when you poo on someone's chest and then pat it down with your bum cheeks.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:42, Reply)
@ Lusty
Ah, that's what that was!

Say no more;)
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:44, Reply)
@Bert
sure. Better putting their tongue to good use down there than boring me with how their day was.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:45, Reply)
Oh hello Fuzzy!
I'm trying to think of cake and kittums, anything to help me while I'm swamped with work!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:45, Reply)
Pffft
I'll have to introduce you to Mrs Monkeysex, she needs lessons in how to start using me like a piece of rigid meat. In every other sense she's totally fantastic though.

Her flange is tighter than a stoat's wannet.
and she'd kill me if she heard me talking about her like this
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:47, Reply)
Hello Lab
I had chocolate beer cake the other day. It was just as good as it sounds :)

I haven't had any kittums though.
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:47, Reply)
@ Lusty
I thought it was a poo on the chest, then slapping it down with your ballsack and jizzing on top (for the syrup)?

Still, Phantom of the Opera or Rodeo are my personal favourites.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:53, Reply)
haha
I can't imagine she would be thrilled Bert.

Hmm my nicotine reserves are low but I don't have any and can't get out till about 2 :(
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:54, Reply)
Phantom of the Opera?
Burn their face with acid, while fucking them, and singing?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:55, Reply)
@jim
Well, I can't say I've tried either way, but I'd think you'd be able to get a flatter pancake with bum cheeks.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:56, Reply)
Fuzzy
I was given some homemade cake mere seconds ago! No kittums yet, but maybe I'll see some on my lunchtime wanderings.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:56, Reply)
@TGB
Smoking is a filthy habit. Sit on somebody's face to relieve the tension instead.

I hope you've cleaned your front bottom today. Or, at the very least, you're using it to store loose change.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:59, Reply)
Awesome Lab!
Nice manifesting there :)

I am going to have Grasmere Ginderbread for breakfast. It's like dwarfbread but tastier.

*realises breakfast necessitates getting out of bed*

Ah crap.
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:04, Reply)
I'm on
a mission to find mrs monkeysex and tell her what Bert just said.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:06, Reply)
Fuzzy's still in bed!
Now I'm jealous!

What's dwarfbread? I hope it's a miniature loaf.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:10, Reply)
@al
I know she'd take it as a compliment, she knows that she could break a Yorkie with that thing (the chocolate, not the dog), but maybe I could change the wording.

Mrs Monkeysex's lady garden is a very cosy place to be indeed.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:11, Reply)
In bed I may be
but it's cold and I have no cup of tea or cake in here with me :(

Dwarfbread is a Pratchett thing. Baked grit and gravel, dwarves eat it. You will never starve if you have dwarfbread because you will always find something else to eat.

Grasmere gingerbread is like baked grit, but in a good way.
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:14, Reply)
*brings Fuzzy cake and tea*
I'm intrigued by Grasmere gingerbread, I just Googled it and found you can buy it online. I ay do so after payday.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:16, Reply)
Fuzzy cake?
Is that made from the Bear in the Muppet show?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:20, Reply)
Yes Bert
£4.38.

It was interesting paying for my lunch
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:21, Reply)
That was Fozzy
and he only made the icing.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:21, Reply)
@TGB
Why?

@clendrix I loved Fozzy, what was his thumb called again, Mr...?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:23, Reply)
Er,
Fozzy's thumb? I don't know - I wasn't that familiar with him...
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:30, Reply)
As long as
Fuzzy cake isn't made from me.

*appreciates tea and cake* thanks Lab!

Grasmere gingerbread is expensive, but it is worth it for a special treat. When we were in Grasmere at the weekend my mum went to the shop and came out with three carrier bags full... she'd had requests from everyone she works with, and she got a stash for herself, and some for me and my brothers, and my auntie and uncle... It keeps forever though, so better to buy it in bulk!
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:30, Reply)
It was his finger,
not his thumb.

Okay B3ta poll time.

For lunch should I have Minnestrone or Pea and Ham soup.

Vote now to decide the fate of althegeordie's lunchtime.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:31, Reply)
Oh Al,
both grim! But at a push, pea and ham.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:33, Reply)
Pea and ham
Much better quality of guffage afterwards.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:34, Reply)
@clendrix
what's your soup of choice then?

Oooo, I just moved my new heater closer to my leg and I have a warm thigh now.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:36, Reply)
@al
What was it called though? WIkipedia doesn't mention it.

...and if you tell Mrs Monkeysex, I'll give you a chinese burn and pee in your soup.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:36, Reply)
Al
Chicken soup or tomato soup.

/traditional
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:39, Reply)
@ Bert
Mr Bimble.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:39, Reply)
Mr Bimbo
who lived in his finger.

Obviously
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:41, Reply)
Too late Bert
I e-mailed her at [email protected]
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:42, Reply)
Woooooooaaaaahhhh
here he comes, watch out threads, he'll kill you up, wooooahhhh here he comes, he's a THREAD KILLER!
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:54, Reply)
For my part
lunch today will consist of beef vegetable soup and two rolls. Because that's what I had in the freezer.
(I helped save b3ta! The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:56, Reply)
Toastie time!
It's my favourite time of the day, when I get to consume toasties. It's so handy when classes don't get in the way of me being home to eat my lunch.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:59, Reply)
currently making me giggle
www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/drinkers-divided-into-nine-types-of-bollocks-200809181265/
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:59, Reply)
Hi guys
Good weekend, I hope! How are we all? Hopefully I didn't scare BK too much on Friday night...
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:01, Reply)
@ PB
Nah, it was fine, and a pleasure to meet you.
Was slightly unsteady when I left though after the 8% moonshine.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:03, Reply)
Hmm
I don't think I want to be a "big sheila" but I do drink cider and know cock jokes. And I like pirates. *cries*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:06, Reply)
*shimmies in*
afternoon all.

*snogs*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:07, Reply)
*huggles 'Big Sheila'*
Sorry TGB!

Hey Tulip!
*ensnuggles*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:08, Reply)
Sorry but I have to share.
From the paper today.


Q. How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

A. Put it in the microwave and wait until it's Bill Withers.



Made me giggle.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:09, Reply)
@BGB
that's a great joke!
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:11, Reply)
*glares at BK*
hey HLT :) *huggles*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:11, Reply)
*gathers all the OTers to her*
*forms some sort of big squidgy huggle of b3tans*

cripes, it's a bit warm in here now!

What's this digging into my hip?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:16, Reply)
I just picked up my coffee mug
and the handle fell of.

I have steaming hot coffee all over my crotch. :(
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:16, Reply)
@ BK Yeah, that stuff was pretty nasty
Especially when you fell over the table.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:17, Reply)
Batman
are you fishing for someone to offer to kiss it better?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:18, Reply)
Hallo HLT!
*enjoys teh snuggles*

*also enjoys S&V Kettle Chips*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:20, Reply)
@HCFB
Some people would pay good money to have that done to them.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:20, Reply)
What's white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.

An old favourite, sorry.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:21, Reply)
@ Batman
Ouchies!

go and sit in a sink of cold water, quick!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:22, Reply)
@PB
Oh yeah!

I nearly took everything with me:S

@Tulip
Oh yeah, sorry.
Mini BK's a bit excitable!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:23, Reply)
TGB
You offering?

BGB...who int heir right mind would pay for that kind of thing!?

HLT I was standing in the bathroom splashing cold water on to my happy area when the phone rang. I think one of my suppliers may think I enjoy the sound of his voice far too much seeing as I kept going "ooooh that's good"

But it's fine, I got my kegs off before any damage was caused. Ruined a pair of trousers though :(
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:26, Reply)
@HCFB
Your so young and do not yet know the way of the world.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:28, Reply)
Well I
don't have anything better to do....
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:29, Reply)
At a loose end there TGB?
I have a face not doing anything much as well.

Why don't we get together and see what comes up.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:33, Reply)
....
baaaadoing!

Ahem. Sorry.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:33, Reply)
calm yourself beekers!
@ Batman

Are you sure they're ruined?

Soak em in fairy liquid for a bit then wash as normal - that should work. I got engine oil out of some pants that way and the pants are fine now :)
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:36, Reply)
@ BK
I have done far, far worse at bashes. I used to be something of a liability in fact, hence the honking great curry, which was to be my lunch the next day. Admittedly Rob (my mate, not the ginger one) was a bit cheeky trying, and managing, to nick the remaining parts. Should have got a pint out of him for that!
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:36, Reply)
HLT
By engine oil, do you mea-

I think you see where I'm going with this, so can we just assume I said it, while I go get a drink?

Ta!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:37, Reply)
Shall I pencil you
in for 2pm Al?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:38, Reply)
a propos of nowt in particular
I don't know anyone else who gets to work in a place where we have a big swing-bin just for conkers and which also plays the tune from TMS on the sound system. And gives me free coffee.

*luckies*

that is all.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:39, Reply)
@hlt
whats a swing-bing? and what's TMS?

@TGB - I can do 2pm.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:40, Reply)
argh, ninja'd!
the conkers were for the Scottish Conker Championships which were held this weekend.

edit: TMS = Test Match Special!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:42, Reply)
:(
I was hoping TMS was The Muppet Show.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:43, Reply)
HLT
They're grey tweed so I think so. Serves me right for having grey tweed trousers.

Scottish conker championship? I went to that when I was a kid I think. I was shit at conkers :(
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:44, Reply)
Could TMS be
Tying my shoelace?
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:45, Reply)
Ha!
Al, TGB's going to pencil you, whatever that means.

Mrs Moneysex received your email and has withdrawn all sex privileges, you big meanie.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:46, Reply)
@ PB
That curry was nice.

Wish I'd had something to eat.
I was a bit tipsy by the time I met Lusty off the train:S
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:49, Reply)
@BK
You weren't that bad. You weren't doing your thunderbirds walk.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:53, Reply)
Thunderbird walk?
hehehehe
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:57, Reply)
Hahahahaha!
Beekers's Thuunderbirds walk.

*imagines*
*giggles*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:58, Reply)
thunderbirds walk?
are you held up with string, beekers?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:58, Reply)
You know when people get a little tiddly
and walk like they're a marionette :)
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:00, Reply)
Beekers is a lovely drunk.
He just grins a lot and then falls asleep : )
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:01, Reply)
@ clenders, tulip, batman
Remember that scene in Trainspotting when Spud is really pissed and has to feel his way along the side of the building to stay upright?

Imagine that, with me, at 6pm, on Oxford Street on a Saturday.

*edit* @Blouse
Aww, that's sweet.
I may have dribbled a bit too.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:02, Reply)
Ahhhh
I was visualising you has Lady Penelope for some reason. Your version makes more sense.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:04, Reply)
Beekers
That just makes me even fonder of you!

*hugs Beekers*
*becomes entangled in string*
*likes it*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:05, Reply)
@ Batman
Well, it was a weekend....

@clenders

*attempts flex*
*is too tangled*
*collapses on ground on top of clendrix*

Eeeeexcellent!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:07, Reply)
haha!
*ensures all gin measures are doubles*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:11, Reply)
@ Tulip
Are you sure you want me stumbling round your sex cave next Saturday.

I have been known to fall asleep in laundry hampers:S
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:14, Reply)
yup
I shall lock away my laundry hamper though.

Don't worry, I'm a very silly giggly sleepy sort of drunk as well. We'll probably end up asleep in a doorway somewhere in galashiels, cos I'm classy like that.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:20, Reply)
@ Tulip
Well, Gala is a classy place anyways:D
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:23, Reply)
Trouble is
With you guys calling BK Beekers, it makes me think of this:



/Edit

I am suffering from real linkfail today.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:23, Reply)
hello all
here for a short while while I eat some lunch.

How is everybody?
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:30, Reply)
*arrives flustered*
sorry my meeting with al took a tad longer than I thought
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:32, Reply)
Hey flesh
Very well thanks.

I walk like a spanner when I'm pissed apparently.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:32, Reply)
and how does a spanner walk?
unless of course, you are referring to my mates brother, who is knoawn as, amongst other things, Spanner. but he walks normally IIRC
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:34, Reply)
@ BK
Not that much of a spanner, but it was still pretty funny. I wonder what you walk like when you're hopelessly trashed though...
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:35, Reply)
@ beekers
I hope you are being sarcastic young man!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:35, Reply)
Good afternoon
My friends of fluffeh-ness!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:37, Reply)
*Stagger back in*
Sorry, my 2pm meeting overran.

All over my face.

Several times.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:38, Reply)
@ PB
I stagger a fair bit.

@tulip
Yep, if you can hula loop with a lady's earrings, you're in Gala.
Not that Hawick's the epitome of culture mind you.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:40, Reply)
Yeah you missed a bit
*wipes Al's face*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:41, Reply)
@ beekers
It's all right, there are books and things in my sex cave. It's like an oasis of culture and education (and gin) in a sea of Smirnoff Ice.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:47, Reply)
It's
a very Muppetty thread today. I like it!

All my fuzzy things have a label which says "No Muppets were harmed in the making of this garment". (Which started because I used to tell people they were trimmed in genuine Muppet eyebrows, and they were usually horrified).

Also, I just had a man up a ladder at my window o_0 Good job I got dressed when I did.
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:47, Reply)
@HLT
Given that it's an oasis of culture, does that mean that no-ones allowed to "Look Back in Anger"?

Also - given the gin, should any invitees bring up tonic and lime?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:49, Reply)
@TGB
what did you just wipe my face with?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:49, Reply)
@ Tulip
Yay for culture and gin.

*excites*

*edit* @ Fuzzy
o_0 ?

Was it Thom Yorke?
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:52, Reply)
My tongue

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:52, Reply)
Mmmmmmm
Badger Tongue.


*shivers with glee*
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:53, Reply)
Culture and Gin
Two things I have in great abundance here in Stratford!

@Fuzzy: Did you know he was going to be there? Next time push his ladder over!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:54, Reply)
@ Edmund
yes, it does

All tonic and lime should be sent on the back of a postcard to:

Miss Tulip
The Sex Cave
Scotland

thanks :)
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:55, Reply)
@ Tulip
I know that's not a million miles away from your real address!

*giggles*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:01, Reply)
Thankfully
no, Boss. He was a burly builder type.

Lab, no I didn't! But I'm glad he was, just had a conversation with him through the window, turns out the neighbours have had a leak too and rang the landlord, which saves me calling them about mine. Soon there will be men on scaffolding all over my house :)
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:01, Reply)
@HLT
Your wish is my command, I shall send the limes and tonic there, together with juniper bushes...
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:01, Reply)
I'm not really allowed to drink gin
because it makes me violent.

*drinks gin*
*hacks way into sex cave*
*sits on sofa with Tulip*
*feels calmed*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:04, Reply)
@BK
the only difference is tulips real name is Barry.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:04, Reply)
I'm mightily glad
You lot haven't seen me when I am pissed. It's not so much a muppet I resemble, more a severely retarded Thunderbird.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:05, Reply)
Fuzzy
A friend of mine has had builders at her house (she has one of the 3 apartments in the building) for nearly a month now, under the guise of painting it.

I am convinced they are Pervy Peters.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:05, Reply)
@ Al
That's the difference I was referring to:D

@PB
We shall have to put this to the test.
Lets get hammered and see who walks the funniest!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:07, Reply)
YES!
My boss has gone again. Now I can listen to Alice Cooper and RAWK out.

I went to Tesco this morning for some bread and came out with some bread, some milk, some conditioner and a freeview hard disk recorder.

Dammit.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:07, Reply)
@ BK
Hmmm, sounds like a challenge, that does. Incidentally I've put the comedy night thing in Leeds on the calendar for Dec 1st.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:09, Reply)
al
that sounds like a bad deal. who buys bread and milk in Tesco* anyway

*hi mum :)
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:10, Reply)
I've been
rolling the word tulips around my head for a bit, and the "lips" part is now making me think abtu happylittletulips happylittlelips.

As you were people.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:10, Reply)
Al
by 'bread' did you mean 'weed'?

*dreams of Tesco selling value weed*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:12, Reply)
@PB
Nicely done.

Should be a good'un.

I'll sign up now:D
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:13, Reply)
hmm
well, I must leave you all now, as I have monsters to teach (along with some lovely ladies later in the evening).

I shall return, probably in a different thread.

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:13, Reply)
@clendrix
I wasn't aware that Tesco sold weed, but I shall certainly look out for it next time i'm in there.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:13, Reply)
Afternoon all
I think I've had the longest day ever today, it feels like it should be at least Thursday by now!

How are we all this fine afternoon?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:15, Reply)
@LvP
Hello :)
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:16, Reply)
LLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!







Hello!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:16, Reply)
I don't think I'd smoke
value weed. I'd go for the Tesco own brand though.

Maybe Finest* for those special occasions :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:16, Reply)
Yay! It's LvP!

*does the yay it's LvP dance*

*with maracas*

*and nipple tassles*
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:17, Reply)
oooOOOooo, get Badger and her choosy ways!
*smokes value weed*
*does value sick*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:17, Reply)
Hello LvP!
*prepares the special gin glass*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:17, Reply)
Oooh
Hello! That was nice, two lovely hellos.

Hi all! So far today, I have dropped mr VP off at the train station, buried a finch, consoled my mum, painted three of her bedroom walls, been to the job centre, kicked ass about my wrong dole payments, been for lunch with a friend and bought the wrong size plug for the kitchen sink.

Phew.
For dole scum, that's a busy day!

Edit - Al, what's this dance like then?
Hi Lab! That glass would be very welcome about now!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:18, Reply)
I have been
checking with various sites to see if I can save money on my gas and electricity bills as they are always saying you can save X, Y and Z by changing supplier.

Sadly they all tell me that I am in fact on the cheapest tariff I can get.

Which is a bummer.

Can any financial B3tans tell me if I'm better off doing a monthly direct debit payment to British Gas for my gas and leccy or should I get quarterly bills and instead pay what I would have sent BG into a savings account?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:19, Reply)
We have a mystery bath plug in our garden.
It suddenly appeared there. I'm too scared to pull it out.


How is dear Mr LvP?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:19, Reply)
"buried a finch"
Is this a euphemism for something?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:19, Reply)
al!
you promised you wouldn't tell anyone!

*cries*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:21, Reply)
Edmund
Unfortunately not. My mum has (had) two finches and one died this morning. She didn't want to touch it so I had to sort that out this morning.

Clendrix - Mr VP is aceness as always. He bought me two lots of pick and mix and fed me champagne AND he sat through two lots of Strictly Come Dancing. He was on his best behaviour, it was lush.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:22, Reply)
Sorry Lucy
HIYA! *hugs*

I am running behind the convo somewhat :p

And yes Clendrix I am very classy dharrrrling
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:22, Reply)
Oh Noes!
I'm sorry tulip!

*proffers apologetic chocolates, gin and vouchers for facesitting sessions*
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:23, Reply)
*makes LvP a pint of G&T in The Glass*
Ooo, only 2 hours til hometime!

I feel this weekend is going to be a very drunken one, it's Halloween, three friend's birthdays, and my own!

*prepares vat-grown clones for organ donation*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:24, Reply)
@LvP
I'm sorry to hear that.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:26, Reply)
@ BK
Excellent. Incidentally, you're all more than welcome to come along, it's a great night.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:26, Reply)
hi TGB!
How are you today my dear?

Lab - that sounds like a marvellous weekend you have coming up. I can lend you two thirds of my liver, but I'll need the last bit I'm afraid.

Edit - Thanks Edmund. They lived for 4 years! They're only tiddly little birds, we were shocked how long she lasted.
I might get mum a canary for Christmas, she'd like that!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:26, Reply)
Lab
Perhaps if they are good looking painters (or Pervy Peters) your friend is a Pervy Polly?

I'd quite like some nice young men all over my house...
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:27, Reply)
WOOKIEE!
Are you lurking?

Say something funny.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:27, Reply)
I have a shitty weekend
planned. I.e. drinking by myself *cries*

*start flicking through mobile numbers*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:32, Reply)
LvP
Thanks for the kind offer! I should have enough clones on standby to see me through though :)

Fuzzy, she hasn't told me if they're fit or not, but she wasn't grinning from ear to ear, so I somewhat doubt it.

*Thinks Fuzzy's ladderman should be from a Diet Coca Cola advert*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:32, Reply)
*puts on hat*

*grows hair*

BUM!

*cuts hair*

*takes off hat*

Who was that?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:32, Reply)
Aaaaand I'm back.
I know you all missed me.
Please form an orderly line...
*grins*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:33, Reply)
thanks al
*noms*

*puts vouchers in safe place*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:35, Reply)
*gets in line*
*grips pick-axe handle*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:37, Reply)
"pick-axe handle"?
That's a lovely, if over-generous, compliment ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:39, Reply)
*lines up behind Clendrix*

*fondles buttocks in front of him*
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:39, Reply)
Oh!
This is most lovely!

It was rather over-generous, wasn't it? I couldn't think of something that small...
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:40, Reply)
Oh... Thanks a lot...
*flips middle finger*

*frowns*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:42, Reply)
Ningalinkles
Howdy doody all
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:42, Reply)
Oh yes!
That small.

*runs away*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:42, Reply)
I've got too options here...
*looks in pockets*

The throwing knife, to strike you down as you run, or the rusty gutting knife, if I chase you...

*is lazy*

*throws*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:45, Reply)
*sads*
*wanted to be chased*
*pulls knife out of head*
*cries*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:47, Reply)
@ clenders
don't cry poppet.

I'll chase you.

*chases*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:49, Reply)
Yay!
Happiness is restored.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:49, Reply)
Is it pub time yet?
I'm bored of hearing about Maureen's holiday and flange.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:52, Reply)
Lusty
Nearly!

Shall I talk about my holidays and bits over a pint?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:54, Reply)
Afternoon all
How are you all?

Been rather busy today!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:54, Reply)
Hmmm...
Nah, I'm not gonna kill you, my dear :)

If I do I won't get to do exciting things with you!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:57, Reply)
*screams*
*runs away again*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:58, Reply)
Hmm...
That sounded bad.
I meant "drinking", pretty much :|

Wow, I really do have a way with women...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:00, Reply)
@clendrix
I'd rather not talk about bits if that's ok with you.
Or about sky boxes. For Forty-Five fucking minutes she went on about how the man was half an hour late to fit her box.

Forty-five minutes of my life I will never get back!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:02, Reply)
Damn Kaol
you are so smooth!

Which brings me ot another of my thoughts. Why don't streakers cover themselves in lube? They would never get caught then, you'd try and grab them and they would just go PEOWNG! and shoot off from you arms.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:02, Reply)
*jealouses*
I want to come to pub!

Clenders and lusty, you have to have a drink for me!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:02, Reply)
A drink for Beekers?
*gets bucket*

Kaol...I'll always go drinking with you :)
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:04, Reply)
Lusty
Welcome back!

I swear, you should set her on fire. It'll be for the best.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:04, Reply)
Al, I used to be,
But I've lost my skills recently.

It's ok, I'm gonna start practising again.

Well clendrix, that would be lovely.
Fancy me buying you a beer on... Maybe this weekend?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:05, Reply)
@ clenders
*wonders where he's acquired this reputation*

Ah well....

*flex*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:05, Reply)
@lab
I'd love to smash the radio up it front of her and tell her her grandchildren are fucking ugly.

I think that would hurt her more than setting her on fire.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:08, Reply)
Lusty
That is definitely more cutting than a simple conflaguration.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:10, Reply)
Sorry I fell asleep for a bit there
I really have nothing to do.

The phone has rang about 4 times today. *stretches*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:11, Reply)
@TGB
I was wondering where you'd gone, it'd been really quiet around here without you!

How's Marinaville?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:12, Reply)
@lab
Her grandkids aren't that ugly though, they're just normal looking kids. There is nothing amazing about them, but christ on a bike you'd thnk they were all the most talented and amazingly clever children to have ever been the way she bangs on about them. They're just normal children ffs!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:16, Reply)
@lusty
I think that's just what happens when you become a grandmother, your children become elevated to the level of gods.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:19, Reply)
I am never having children
just because I'm worried if they have children I'll turn into a boring, child obsessed, dried up old hag.

I'm probably being a tad harsh here. meh
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:21, Reply)
I'm not having children
I'd rather spend money on myself :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:24, Reply)
yeah not too bad
I am off home in a bit woo!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:26, Reply)
Great...
I'm here for another hour, and it's gone quiet.

*drinks coffee*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:34, Reply)
I'm still here!
D'ya have a good weekend?
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:35, Reply)
@ Al
Oiled naked robbers have happened.

Not to me though...
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:36, Reply)
@ Fuzzy
Really?

*nudies*
*oils*
*gets SWAG bag*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:37, Reply)
BK,
I had a quiet weekend, but it was fun :)

Went to the Natural History Museum to see the dinosaurs, then went for a wander in Camden.
Then a quiet night of whisky and DVDs.

I trust you had fun :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:40, Reply)
@fuzzy
Eh? Oh, I see, you are referring to my thoughts on lubed up streakers. Gotcha.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:41, Reply)
@ Kaol
Yeah, it was great.

Took Lusty and her mum to the Art Gallery, and then my mate showed us round the gantry and a few of the back rooms at the theatre he works at, then the big new museum's just opened which is quite cool.

Then we went for curry and cider. It was really nice:D
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:42, Reply)
Urgh
I fucking hate customers. Somebody is trying to haggle over the price of a pair of socks and keeps calling the girl I work with "my good lady" and me "my good man". And they're telling us how to do our jobs.


Posh fucking wankers.

EDIT One of them just fucking came in to my office, without knocking, sat down next to me and said "my good man, I would appreciate it if you would give me a free shirt with this jacket I am planning to buy. I have worked in a shop before and I know how your job works so don't tell me you can't do it. That's a good chap"

I told him to do one before I knocked him out and then his mum gave me an earful for being disrespectful. Fat bint.

Cunt cunt cunt cunt.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:42, Reply)
Oh!
Batman, that's raised a question...
Those magic Scottish Sock-Daggers.
I dunno what they're called...

Are they generally expensive for a proper one?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:45, Reply)
I had a brief look
for citation, but got distracted by something else.

But it's true. It said so in Fortean Times. And they got away successfully despite attempts to catch them. Haha! Thinking about that is making me giggle.

I suspect anyone approached by an oiled naked man is either too distracted to defend their property, or - depending on the aesthetic qualities of the robber - not an entirely unwilling victim.

EDIT: Dirk, Kaol.
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:48, Reply)
They're called a sgian dubh
and I have no idea how much they cost.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:48, Reply)
@ Kaol
Around £50 for a decent one

www.sporranandpouch.com/sgian-dubh/scian-dubh-thistle/prod_253.html
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:48, Reply)
How do you
pronounce the name of those stabby things in your actual english language then?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:50, Reply)
Awesome :)
*plots*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:50, Reply)
@al
Shee-an doo.

I think
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:51, Reply)
Kaol
It's called a Sgian Dubh. Ours start at £25 for the basic one and they can go up to about £140. Well ours do. You can get sold silver ones which are obviously more expensive.

EDIT Sgeen doo
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:51, Reply)
Yaaaaaaaaaaaawn.
Hello boys. Still here?

I'm practically mental with boredom.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:52, Reply)
Hi CLendrix
Simon le Bon is telling me about Girls on Film.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:53, Reply)
Solid silver?
Pffft, that's no good for stabbin' folk.

What're the cheap ones like?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:53, Reply)
Woo!
Hometime.

No doubt I shall be on later.

*huggles all*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:55, Reply)
Kaol
www.slanjkilts.com/Kilts-and-Highlandwear/Kilt-Accessories/Sgian-Dhu/View-all-products.html

SD01 is the basic. It's pretty plain, you only really pay for the decoration on the hilt.

And not a solid silver blade silly, solid silver hilt.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:55, Reply)
Oh, that Simon.
He's just an old perv - don't you be listening to him Al, you sweet young thing.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:57, Reply)
God its been a long day
and I have abouty 90 minutes left yet,

And i spilt water all over my lap.

*curls up in the corner to sleep*
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:58, Reply)
Hallo!
You can relax, I'm here now.

It has been a bloody awful day, but the pub is approaching rapidly and I'm sure some medicinal booze will perk me right up.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:58, Reply)
Wookiee,
I can't drink tonight, I'm driving.
Have a Red Diesel for me :)
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:59, Reply)
Hey all
Are we all well?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:59, Reply)
Those moving pubs, eh?
Love 'em.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:59, Reply)
Red diesel?
Are you insane, man? There's more alcohol in one of those that I can handle in a week.

We are not all indestructible boozehounds like your good self.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 17:03, Reply)
Thanks for the advice Clendrix
sadly Limahl is now telling me I'm too shy to a funky slap bass line.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 17:06, Reply)
I'll fucking slap that Limahl.
No one says what Al can and can't fucking do.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 17:08, Reply)
I've consulted the boss
(me)
and she says I can go!

*finishes talking to self*
*leaves*

G'night!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 17:09, Reply)
Wookiee
As much as I like the idea of being an "indestructible boozehound", I feel it may not be strictly true.
Other than the fact that I've not died yet...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 17:17, Reply)
Wooo!
Pub time.

Laters, beeyatches.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 17:29, Reply)
Internet done got brok'n.
Fixed it now, and I'm going.
Band practice/rough recording session.
Then pizza.
Then watching Dead Set.
Woo!

I'll be about midnight-ish.
Bye!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 17:30, Reply)
Time
For a new HSH thread I think...



Link in picture.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 27 Oct 2008, 18:28, Reply)

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