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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Morning

(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 7:50, 353 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
Morning Miss Lust
How're you today?

I'm sitting in my office, which is upside-down. My boss is trying to spruce it up a bit but failing miserably :(

But I've still got my bounce on!

*bounce*
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 7:53, Reply)
Mr Nong
Maybe one day I'll get used to having to get up early every day...

But not today.
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 7:59, Reply)
hello!
I'm fine today. I made mini carrot cakes last night so I've brought some in for the temp this morning. I hope I don't poison her.

*joins in with the bouncing*

Edit: Yay fuzzy! *cuddles*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 7:59, Reply)
Fuzzy
It doesn't get any easier.

For over 4 years now I've been in a job where I need to be at my desk at 7am, and every day I have to drag myself out of the house by my fingertips.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 8:01, Reply)
Oh look... it's Fuzzy!
*bounces summore*

Where ya been lady?

Edit: Mr Nong Mr Duck. I also have to be at work for seven and I never have a problem getting up in the morning... mostly cos I'm sensible these days and get to bed early enough *is sad*
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 8:03, Reply)
Ningaling
Whenever I say that, it reminds me of the bell at the beginning of Baggy Trousers.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 8:08, Reply)
Mornings everybloody
Hope you are all well.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 8:19, Reply)
hello ethel and K2k6
Who wants to make me a cup of tea then?
*is lazy*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 8:23, Reply)
Yay!
Bounces and huggles are making it easier to be awake :)

(Plus the tea I am drinking).

No3L, I've been working! And my car broke and I had to stay at my mum's. Having done just over a week in the new job, I can emphatically state that it is better than my old one. More mad little old ladies, more drugs, what's not to like...?

EDIT: Lusty, you can have some of mine :)
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 8:26, Reply)
I don't drink tea or coffee
therefore my kettle has an easy life.

*pours our old water*

*scrapes out mould*

*fills with fresh water*

*boils kettle*

Just have to wait a few mins for the water to boil, Lusty. Still OK for that cuppa?
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 8:26, Reply)
morning all!
Just waiting for my house mate to get his arse in gear, then I'll walk to work. It's a miserable day.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 8:29, Reply)
Thanks for the offer K2k6
but I'm not sure you've got all of the mould out of the kettle so I might just have a sip of fuzzy's.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 8:31, Reply)
Nice to hear
that your job is going well fuzzy. Are you dispensing? Do you get to meet all the local 'characters?'
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 8:36, Reply)
It's OK Lusty
The boiling water should kill the mould!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 8:36, Reply)
I'm not allowed to dispense,,,yet
And I won't be if I don't haul ass!

See you later, have nice days everyone! :)
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 8:40, Reply)
Everyone seems to have gone.
*sads*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 8:51, Reply)
I'm here lusty!
*riverdances*

and Mr Nong to you all.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 8:52, Reply)
Look everyone...It's Bert!
*Michael Flatleys*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 8:55, Reply)
And I'm still here too!
For a bit, at least.

*Charlestons*
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 8:55, Reply)
Morning
How are you beautiful lot this morning?

*AWESOME HUGS*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 8:58, Reply)
I'm just looking at Michael Flatley's website.
He's so modest and so, so wise.

'Follow your dreams...nothing is impossible'

He also looks good in a pair of leather trousers.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 8:59, Reply)
Morning all!
Hope everyone is ok today!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:00, Reply)
*IS HUGGED*
I'm a bit annoyed... I was in the middle of writing a finely crafted email about an important project and my phone crashed. Fucking pissy Sony Ericsson piece of shit.

I don't mean it really *strokes phone*
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:01, Reply)
Mr Nong pt 2
Hello again. I'm in work now, and have inadvertently performed an important scientific experiment on the walk here.

Shaving your head with lovely mint and tea tree original source shaving gel means that your poor head freezes when you step outside.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:02, Reply)
Morning all
Thought I would stop in and say hello before I go for a 7 hour essay-finishing-off session. Sounds pretty fun, I think you'll agree.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:04, Reply)
@Lusty
The Flatley is my hero, when I was at school I alienated myself from all the girls by doing a massive impromptu Lord of the Dance performance for them, on top of the picnic bench where they were having lunch.

*spirit of the dances*
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:05, Reply)
Lab
So you really do contain essential oils today?
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:06, Reply)
Morning all!
Fuck, I hate mornings. Glad to hear the new job's going well fuzzy!

Today I will mostly be playing Tribal Wars, as it beats doing work.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:07, Reply)
Lab
What have you deduced from this experiment?

I would never shave my head, well I say that but if it carries on falling out I may just have to to stop myself looking like Jean-Luc Picard.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:07, Reply)
argh
One of my contact lenses is being annoying today. I'd take it out but it's the "bad eye" and I can't see much out of it! My boss just asked if I was winking at him...

Lab I can throw a bucket of warm water over you if you like to melt your icehead :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:08, Reply)
Nong t'y'all
I feel a bit odd this morning.
And I'm driving to Cumbria at 12 :|
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:09, Reply)
I have just been writing
my only entry so far for this week's QOTW.

No doubt I'll get round to writing some more after Thursday.

It's not really that good. I just thought I'd pimp it anyway.

*whores self*
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:11, Reply)
Bert
If you river danced on my picnic table I would have loved it. I would have probably shared my quavers with you and let you have a sip of my UmBongo.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:11, Reply)
Morning Kaol
I read that as meaning you were driving to Cumbria at 12:1, like you were giving odds on yourself getting there or something.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:11, Reply)
No3L
Yes, today I do contain essential oils ;)

Herr Dok, shaving one's head can be annoying, but also calming. I have just realised i've missed a bit just by my mo. I'll stab any colleague who points this out.

TGB, thanks, but now i'm at work my head's beginning to warm up.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:12, Reply)
I think those are fair odds
Considering what I got up to last night :(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:13, Reply)
Nice Lab
I was washing my bollocks with the stuff the other morning and the shower went off, I had to huddle in the corner of the shower cubicle for about 5 minutes with burning nuts until it came back on. TMI? Almost certainly...

Dok - mine's falling out as well, although not in a conventional receding hairline way, it seems to be vanishing from the back first! May have to start shaving mine again after years of long/longish hair.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:14, Reply)
*points at Lab's head*
You've missed a bit...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:14, Reply)
Um Bongo?!
*dances a dainty tango with a pineapple, a guava and a mango*

and quavers? You're too ace for words Mrs Wanderlust, please marry me immediately.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:15, Reply)
Sam
I use the body wash stuff as well, I know the pain of which you speak!

TGB, shit off!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:15, Reply)
That's not nice :(
*cries*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:17, Reply)
Hair
I've a brother ho shaves his head regularly, I really couldn't do it, too much hassle. God I can hardly get the enthusiasm to shave my beard!

Sam, that sucks man. I've been receeding since I was 16 though, so you would of thought I'd have gotten used to it by now.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:18, Reply)
Definitely wakes you up in the morning though!
I alternate between the mint one and the chili & capsicum one, depending on whether I want hot tingling or cold tingling.

*tries to think up jokes about one eyed badgers, but it's too early in the morning*

Dok yeah it qualifies as alopecia technically I think, I can't be arsed to shave every day though as it's hassle - I used to wet shave it every day but can't be fucked to do that any more!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:19, Reply)
@Bert
That's Miss Wanderlust, we're not married yet.

I really want some UmBongo now. I haven't had it for agggggeeesssss.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:20, Reply)

I've got the mint one at home.. However it doesn't really work in the winter as the cold tingling makes me extremely cold...
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:22, Reply)
If anyone wants
a tingly feeling, wash your face with a grapefruit.

It's interesting...
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:23, Reply)
Wakes you up though TDW!
This may be what you need...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:24, Reply)
Sam
Fuck every day I could never do that, my skin wouldn't take it and probably just fall off. I'm lucky it I shave one every 6 months, and then only for special occasions.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:24, Reply)
@lusty
I'll pop down to sainsbury's in a minute, we'll have all the Um Bongo, quavers, monster munch, space raiders, and McCowan's chewy toffee bars you can handle, before you even know it.

EDIT All you lucky bastards talking about going bald, quit whinging! My hair is getting thicker every day, and it's spreading, pretty soon I'll resemble a cross between Bill Oddie and Robin Williams
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:25, Reply)
I hate grapefruit
It's fucking rubbish.

If I had more money, I'd buy grapefruits, cut 'em in half and use 'em to stub my cigarettes out on. Then throw 'em away.

That's how much I hate 'em.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:25, Reply)
A one eyed
badger would be even more angry and would unleash a world of pain on anyone who crossed her!

I saw a fox in my garden the other day but he knew a badger would easily take him so he ran away.

*looks mean*
*tries to stop winking*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:26, Reply)
Oh, McCowan's toffee!
Get me some too, Bert. Please!

Shame the factory in Stenhousemuir has closed though. "Coo toffee" has never been the same since.

(so called around here because it has a picture of a Highland 'coo' on it)
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:26, Reply)
TGB
But it would have no depth perception!

I would amuse myself by throwing things for it to try and catch and hilariously miss by miles in the style of my mate R, who is almost blind in one eye. Never ending fun for all the family.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:27, Reply)
But a
One eyed badger would have poor depth persception and so probably not be able to get the attack in the right place!

Mirning Badger *AWESOME HUGS* will make the eye better.

EDIT Damn Sam got there first
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:28, Reply)
Grapefruit
is a horribly bitter fruit. But my gran used to have half a grapefruit every morning. She lived until she was nearly 90.

She also used to eat a lot of chips, and too much salt.

Make of that what you will.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:29, Reply)
McCowan's Toffee!
Not had that since I were a wee lad! I'm also now craving Irn Bru bars, they were awesome.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:29, Reply)
Ohhh Berty!
You're my hairy hero. I have a feeling we're going to be very happy together.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:29, Reply)
Your nan
was Scottish?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:30, Reply)
Mindpiss Dok!
I usually have a glass of grapefruit juice in the morning, mainly to wake me up rather than an actual liking for the stuff though.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:30, Reply)
*leaps in*
Morning folks! Got my fingers crossed that today is better than yesterday. I feel like I'm going to fall asleep at my desk though so I'm not sure how well it'll go.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:31, Reply)
My depth
perception is just fine *sulks*

I've applied for 4 jobs already this morning. How productive of me!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:32, Reply)
@himjim
Eh? Was that directed at me? I'm a scotsman, born and bred (for a few years, then moved down to Surrey where I learned to be civilised and lost the accent). I loved McCowan's toffee, it was the ace-est.

Lusty, you're going to have to break the news to al, he'll be devastated.

EDIT @TGB I'm not looking for a job, but the agencies I signed up with when I was have suddenly started offering me positions, would you like details?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:37, Reply)
Good work badgerface
What sort of jobs are you applying for?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:38, Reply)
@Bert
I think Jim meant that my gran was Scottish, as she ate too many salty chips.

Which indeed she was. As are all of my immediate family.

And since when has Surrey been civilised, Bert?
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:38, Reply)
Grapefruit is EVIL
and must be punished!

Irn Bru Bars? They sound all of the lully, but I've spent too much time "Down South" and have never had them.

EDIT Bert, you're a Scot? Surrey is not civilised I live there!

Yay Badger, what jobs?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:39, Reply)
God-fuckin'-dammit
The love of my life, whisked away by that hairy devil, Burt Monkeysex :(


EDIT: Mr. K, I lived in Surrey for three years, so... It's been civilised for about four years now.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:40, Reply)
Mr Nong everyone!
I'm on the way to work slightly hungover after a heavy night.

We've got some bosses over from the US so were out last night.

How are you all my fine offtopicers?
(bill, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:40, Reply)
Dok
I've lived down saff all my life and I've eaten an irn bru bar many times.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:41, Reply)
Morning Bill!
I'm Welsh (well, sort of), which is better than English, north or south. Or Scots. Fact.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:42, Reply)
@K2k6
Surrey is the most civilised place on earth, if only because 99% of the population are over 60. You should see the town where I live, it's full of old people shambling about like zombies.

It's truly terrifying.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:42, Reply)
@Sam
Anything! But mainly admin stuff. I am having to change my parameters somewhat, slightly less money and a little further to travel but I am still only applying to stuff that I think I would enjoy doing.

I have had some truly awful temp jobs before, going somewhere you really hate is rubbish. I think the worse one was at an abortion clinic. I am "pro-choice" and all that malarkey but seeing streams of teenage girls come in and out was somewhat depressing.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:42, Reply)
Mornin' Phil
I'm joining you in hangover land today.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:42, Reply)
*crosses fingers for TGB*
I've got a job coming up soon if that helps.

I'm heading in a London direction at the end of next week, and I'm in need of a travelling companion.

Payment will be in alcoholic beverages.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:43, Reply)
Nings all.
I am at home cos my foot's to sore to walk on.
*feels sorry for self*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:43, Reply)
Irn Bru Bars
Are lully indeed. Tingly, tangy, chewy and awesome!

And I love grapefruit...
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:44, Reply)
Payment in alcohol?
(second) BEST PAYMENT EVER!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:45, Reply)
Duckie
am I not travelling with you then anyways? I promise not to get all emotional and start crying about how shit everything is :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:45, Reply)
*sads*
I must just have missed them then Captain.

:(

EDIT Drixy, feel the power of the *AWESOME HUGS*. Your foot will now get better, I HAVE COMMANDED IT!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:45, Reply)
TGB...
Do you promise that for this weekend?
*worries*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:46, Reply)
So...
setting up a company in Surrey selling Zimmer frames, stairlifts and electric wheelchairs would be a good idea?

As well as a clothing company with such offerings as pink knitted cardigans and piss-resistant underpants.

Or maybe the underpants market's already saturated...
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:47, Reply)
Payment in alcoholic sex?
Is that best ever?

I'm a bit of a mongrel me, 1 German grandparent, 2 Scottish, 1 English (Norman descent), English and American Passport.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:47, Reply)
Ooooh, Irn-Bru bars!
I haven't had one of those in ages.

Welcome to hangover land Kaol, come have coffee and neurofen.
(bill, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:47, Reply)
TGB
In that case then you get the job.

If you get all emotional and start crying, it's just a sign that I haven't paid you enough alcohol :)
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:47, Reply)
Duck.
alcohol rohypnol.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:50, Reply)
Thanks Phil :)
I burned out my neurofen receptors a long time ago though, so I stick with paracetomol.

I get to drive a van for most of today, so lots of smoking and rocking out :D

EDIT: And perving. Obviously. It's a white van.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:50, Reply)
Is it
a white van, Kaol? With a copy of the Sun jammed between the dashboard and the windscreen?

You'll enjoy driving that!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:51, Reply)
Jim
Good call.

There's no alcholic beverage that can't be improved with an extra dash of rohypnol.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:51, Reply)
Kaol
I promise I won't cry in front of you :p

Duckie let me know when and where and I will be there! Please don't rohypnol me though
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:52, Reply)
If we are going down on the train together,
what time will be catching it :O
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:54, Reply)
Kaol
White vans are all the awesome. I had to go and fetch an engine and gearbox the other day, so took one of the amusing 200PS Transits from the work fleet.

Obviously it would have been rude not to switch the TC off and go doughnutting around the car park ;)
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:55, Reply)
I'm getting on the tube now.
See you later.
(bill, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:55, Reply)
TGB
I think crying behind me would be slightly unsettling...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:55, Reply)
I can get any train
after 1pm if that's of any use to anyone.

EDIT: I'm fresh out of rohypnol unfortunately, so it depends entirely whether I can obtain additional supplies before the end of next week.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:55, Reply)
White vans ARE awesome
But there's a nasty rumour that I might be getting the Luton...

That fuckin' thing doesn't like going over 45 mph...

*hopes for Transit*

EDIT: Rohypnol? I might know a guy...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 9:57, Reply)
I had to sell my van
*sads*

Got a boring car now...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:00, Reply)
*looks at diary*
Any time is good for me!

Kaol I'll lock myself in my room and cry :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:01, Reply)
Oh, ok...
I'll miss you :(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:02, Reply)
My friend
told me she was being hassled by a man in a white van, whistling at her and shouting things. When she turned to tell him to fuck off, it was my dad, winding her up.


At least, I think he was winding her up. *hopes*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:03, Reply)
Drixy
I bet he was!

What did you do to your foot BTW?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:07, Reply)
Howdy chums!
*yawny yawns*
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:10, Reply)
Good morning to you
Col. S.

How goes it, other than tired?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:11, Reply)
I don't know.
I'm actually SO tired I can't even comprehend anything that's happening more than a foot away from me.

How are you you though Deary?
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:12, Reply)
*rubs Colonel S's beard*
*feels better*

There is a job for 3 days a week (Mon - Wed) 21 hours total and it pays 14k!

I could top up my hours as and when with other jobs then and have long weekends if I am feeling lazy :p Which I normally am.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:15, Reply)
Deary?
*frowns*

I'm a bit rubbish this morning, last night I ended up being a drug dealer for the evening, and drinking rather too much afterwards. Some "product sampling" may have been involved...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:16, Reply)
Good
morning all.

Did you know that only one in ten people have income protection.

That's just one of the many thrilling facts to have come out of the project I am working on.

Shoot me now, please, I can't face this.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:17, Reply)
TGB
That sound like a job of awesome to me. Hope you get it!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:17, Reply)
Dok
I slipped on the bottom step going in to the tube station. How can such a minor slip have caused such a major sulk amount of pain? Stupid crap foot!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:18, Reply)
Hi Colonel
Sorry to hear you're tired!

Don't you just hate it when that happens, tiredness I mean!

EDIT Hi Scarpe, how's it going?

Drixy, that's almost how I broke my foot! If it's stil too painfull to walk on in a couple of days get to a doctor to get it checked!

And no I can't check it for you, I'm not a doctor, I'm a Doktor!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:18, Reply)
What's income protection?
*shrugs*

I guess I'm one of the nine.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:18, Reply)
*hugs scarpe*
*proffers internet cake*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:18, Reply)
*Purrs*
The beard is coming on very well now - you'd be proud TGB.

That job sounds awesome.

That's more than I currently get for a 40hr week.

*sads*
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:20, Reply)
Income protection
is bloody expensive. Which is why most people don't have it.

Basically it's an insurance policy which pays out if you lose your job, effectively paying you an income to cover your mortgage, bills, etc.

Only it's fuck all use to folk like me on fixed term contracts.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:20, Reply)
Oh right!
So you pay money, to get money back?
Wouldn't it make more sense just to save up the money that you'd otherwise be paying to the income protection people?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:22, Reply)
Aww don't be sad Colonel S
I can't wait to see the beard! *glees*

Yeah it does sound a dream job and only 3 applicants so far which was a shock as all the rest were way in the double figures. Maybe as it is technically part time it has scared people off

Fecking people.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:23, Reply)
@Kaol
Yes, it would. But people don't do that.

But I'm one of the nine too.

Oh god, this is so dull.

I watched 'Teeth' last night, for some reason it made me think of you. That's just weird.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:23, Reply)
Got it in one, Kaol
Because, doing the risk analysis, the chances are you'll pay more money in than you'll ever get out. All insurance is like that of course, but for something like income protection, you're as well just to put some money aside into a high interest savings account (if you can find one!) and keep hold of it.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:24, Reply)
You sure it's not pro-rata?

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:24, Reply)
Er...
I've not seen "Teeth", but I know what it's about.

WHY THE FUCK did it make you think of me? :(

EDIT: Mr. K, thank you for confirming my correctness.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:25, Reply)
@Kaol
Dunno, it just seemed like the sort of film you might review for some reason.

I'll save you the effort though.

My review of 'Teeth': It's shit.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:26, Reply)
TGB
That does sound like a pretty good job! What does it involve?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:27, Reply)
Dok
I will! I was going to go to UCH today, but it's too sore. I might go there tomorrow and get them to look at it.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:29, Reply)
Scarpe
Teeth isn't that bad, I've seen a hell of a lot worse. I enjoyed it.

It did remind me of several people that I know though, but none on here.

EDIT Drixy do it, it's the right thing to do.

What me giving good advice? Never ;)
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:33, Reply)
lab
Finance admin. They have an in-house system though so they will have to train people up on it and I can pretend I know what they are talking about.

*evil glees*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:37, Reply)
Morning Folks
I'm all stressed and require cuddles!

*whores self shamelessly*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:38, Reply)
Yay for my temp!
She's just made me a coffee and now we're going to have a bit of cake.

nom nom nom

*hugs bk*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:38, Reply)
Yay!
*hugs lusty back*

@ TGB
That sounds promising!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:40, Reply)
*Hugs BK*
Sorry to hear you're stressed dude :(

TGB, go for that job! Where is it based?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:40, Reply)
@Dok
To be honest, i don't know why I watched it. I knew it wasn't my kind of film. I haven't really enjoyed a horror film of any type in years.

Can't suspend my disbelief enough I don't think.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:40, Reply)
Yay for lusty's temp!
*wishes he had one, and gets up to make a brew whilst grumbling*

*passes BK a destressing brew, and hugs*

Speaking of awful films, I watched Shoot Em Up the other night. One of the worst and one of the best films I've ever seen, at the same time.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:41, Reply)
*grins*
Oh, scarpe!

How I wish you were coming to the 28th-bash...

Hmm... That sounds creepy.
I just wanna laugh at you when you get drunk :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:42, Reply)
*enjoys hug*
To be fair, it's more motivated stress rather than sobbing into my coffee and rocking backwards and forwards like something out of ...Cuckoo's Nest.

*edit*
Cheers Sam!

Shoot 'Em Up is fuckign ace. It knows exactly what it is; mindless entertainment. It's hilarious:D
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:42, Reply)
Pickleface!
*squishy hugs*

Lab I think it's Warwick.

I watched xXx the other day it was quite enjoyable. Maybe as I wasn't expecting anything :p

I tend to watch crazy Asian horror that freaks me out. The remakes are always shit though.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:44, Reply)
*hugs TGB*
For some reason I don't mind being called Pickleface. Spottyface is more accurate this morning though:(

Asian horror for the win.
The end of Gozu where the little woman gives birth to a fully-grown man is absolutely jaw-dropping!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:46, Reply)
Yeah BK!
I was stoned, and asked my mate to put on something 'with lots of mindless violence, explosions and car chases'

It was exactly what I wanted! At least 50% of the people in the room hated it and whinged all the way through though. I do like my gritty subtitled foreign films but there's a time and a place...

The only possible improvement would have been for Monica Belluci to get her knockers out properly!

I then made myself even more unpopular by forcing everyone to watch Transporter 2, I love a good shit film.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:46, Reply)
Asian horror?
Well, semi-horror, but I fucking love The Host :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:47, Reply)
Badger
Have you seen Guard Post?

It's a bit different, but ace.

Oh and R-Point!

EDIT Kaol Host is fantastic.

Hi Boss.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:48, Reply)
TGB
Warwick?

Have you had the necessary jabs and do you have the required protective gear?
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:48, Reply)
I like my foreign films
Currently working my way through Pedro Almodovar's back catalogue at the moment.

Last night I watched Dark Habits; a load of nuns selling smack to keep their convent open. It was not bad.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:48, Reply)
One of the weirdest films I have seen
is www.imdb.com/title/tt0244870/

Yes spirals invade a small town and start hunting down the locals. There is a weird bit where two people turn into giant snails and I think some gets trapped in a washing machine and is all twisted up and evil. Weird but strangely compelling.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:49, Reply)
Audition is a good one
to watch with people who haven't seen it before.

Don't tell them it's a horror film, watch them concentrate on this weird drama for an hour or so then watch their face as it suddenly switches up to dismembered bodies in sacks!

Edit: BK, I heart Pedro Almodovar.

TGB, I think I've seen that film! Rings bells anyway...

I'm going to have a Scorsese session tonight I think, I got a box set for my birthday and even though I've got seven or eight on DVD already the box set contains five I haven't got, and I haven't seen three of those, win!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:49, Reply)
@Sam
You must have seen 'Crank' then?

I still can't believe I took my girlfriend to see that. I'm surprised she still lets me choose films sometimes.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:49, Reply)
Foreign films?
I know BK's seen it, but Intacto is fucking wicked.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:49, Reply)
Wookiee is a master craftsman
but due to the impressive size of his, er, image, I shall just leave this here instead.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:50, Reply)
@TGB
Without clicking the link, that'll be Uzumaki then! That bit where the guy's eyes start distending and spinning in his head is well fucked. Think it's the squelchy noises!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:50, Reply)
Nobody
Lets me pick films to see.

They have no taste!

EDIT Badger I want to see that, I may have to get it next month!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:52, Reply)
Yes scarpe!
A blatant rip off of Speed, but then I thought that was a good film as well...!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:52, Reply)
What Kaol said!
Intacto is brilliant, the blindfolded sprint through the trees is worth a view on its own.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:53, Reply)
Points to you BK!
Sam, Audition is great. Apart from the bit with the needles and the eyes *shudders*

The original Ring trilogy is awesome too. The beginning of the second one with the flash of the camera on the skull and it goes all distorted is brilliant.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:53, Reply)
Oh yes, definitely a rip off.
Crank II is coming out next year. (I have no idea how they are going to explain away the ending)

And I love Speed too. Who doesn't?
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:54, Reply)
Yay! Points!
Anyway, back to work.

I'll catch whoever's on around lunchtime!

Thanks for teh huggles folks:D

*blows kisses*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:54, Reply)
Me scarpe,
I fucking hate it, and almost everything the twat Keanu Reeves has been in!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:56, Reply)
Uzumaki
Was very, very strange...

I did like Intacto, think my sister stole my copy though.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:57, Reply)
Dok
We can no longer be associated, as the implication of what you said is that you hate Bill & Ted and I can't allow that to stand.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:57, Reply)
You know what
else is an awesome film? Top Gun!

Yeah, most awesome *glares at Lab*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:57, Reply)
TOP GUN?
Top-fuckin'-gun?

That film is SHIT.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:58, Reply)
Top Gun is brilliant!
I even have the shades... (not real ones sadly)

And for years my answer machine message said 'Talk to me Goose'

Keanu Reeves has the acting ability of a wet lettuce but has been in some good films...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:59, Reply)
Nope Scarpe
Bill and Ted, The Matrix, and Rivers Edge are fantastic!

They are the only one I'll rate as any good.

EDIT Gods Top Gun is so much a pile o shite!

EDIT 2 True Sam, but I still only saw Dracula for Winona Ryder!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 10:59, Reply)
What about Point Break Dok?
I thought you were supposed to know about films :P

The Matrix is overrated.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:02, Reply)
Sam
I didn't like it, it's a good enough movie just not for me.

Now Road House with Patrick Swayze is awesome.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:04, Reply)
Well
at least Sam has good taste in films. *hi-fives*

I was reminded of Irréversible earlier when someone mentioned Monica Bellucci. That film made me awe and retch at the same time.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:04, Reply)
OK Dok
You are forgiven.

Although I'm with Sam on Point Break, it's the nuts.

But your love of Road House is good enough for me too.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:05, Reply)
Top Gun
I vow to never watch that film. I have no interest in it whatsoever.

Irreversible was good, but made people walk out.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:09, Reply)
Cheers Scarpe
If you were going to be at the bash on nthe 28th I'd buy you a pint!

I must admit I've lapsed in my movies recently, the last 'new' one I saw was [Rec], and that was great, but I'm not holding out much hope for the Yank remake!

EDIT Irreversible, again not seen it yet, but mean to.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:10, Reply)
[Rec]
Was superb!! The first horror movie i've seen in a world that really took me :D
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:11, Reply)
Yeah Lab
You could almost see it happening somewhere.

It was done so well.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:12, Reply)
The trailer for the remake,
aka Quarantine, gives away the very ending of the film.

I mean, what the fuck?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:12, Reply)
Morning all!!
Good morning!!

Today's offering is banana bread... I've not made it yet, but shall in a couple of hours - everyone want a slice??
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:13, Reply)
Kaol
I know, what a pointless waste of time!

Hi Psyche, thanks for the offer, but no ta, I don't like the taste.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:13, Reply)
Lab
I think I read somewhere that was because they put a weird frequency on the first bit of the soundtrack? Something that makes people feel quite naucitious nautious sick.

That and anal rape of course.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:15, Reply)
Banana bread?
Oh, fuck yes!

But I'm leaving to drive for six hours at 12...

I'll be back tomorrow afternoon... :(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:15, Reply)
Dok
There's always the December bash for the pint.

@Kaol: I hadn't seen the trailer, so you just gave away the ending. Bastard.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:16, Reply)
TGB
The anal rape scene was brutal, but the fire extinguisher bit was really graphic!

The crazy camera spinning probably set off people's motion sickness as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:19, Reply)
Shhhhh!
*edits*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:19, Reply)
Oh charming
I just came in to see what was going on and noticed there seems to be talk of anal rape.

I think I might come back later.

*thinks of happy things*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:23, Reply)
Yeah
I'm not in a hurry to see that film again.

Although I did like how the DVD case opens the wrong way
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:23, Reply)
Er...
Nice things...

I'm gonna be driving a van through the Lake District this afternoon, gonna be pretty!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:26, Reply)
Hi Lusty
*hugs* Don't worry it's only movie talk.

Weird audio on movies, a bit like the first Resident Evil then, but it didn't work well on the DVD.

EDIT Scarpe there is that, why are you not coming to this one though?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:26, Reply)
I saw it in the cinema
So didn't notice the DVD box. That's a nice touch.

Come back Lusty! We were talking about fillums!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:27, Reply)
@Kaol
Want some company? You can leave me up there if you want, I'm already wishing I hadn't come back yesterday.

Ho hum. Better do some of this thrilling work. I'll leave you with another taste of what my day is going to be like: 11% of adults don't know what percentage of their current income they will need to be able to live comfortably in retiremnt.

Seriously, someone put me out of my misery.

Edit: @Dok - I'm leaving town on Friday night to go to a wedding on Saturday.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:29, Reply)
Sorry Lusty
I'm surprised you didn't hear about the film when it was realeased. It did generate a fair bit of press!

Erm.. so kittens... they're fluffeh no?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:29, Reply)
Scarpe...
What kind of "company"?

To be fair, I'm gonna assume that you don't want me to bum you silly in a layby...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:31, Reply)
I think
that's a decent assumption.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:32, Reply)
Good stuff.
I'm glad we agree on that one.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:34, Reply)
Do you work for the department of pointless employment statistics or something scarpe?
*hi fives TGB for her film taste, although admittedly a bit late cos I went for a joint break out the back*
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:36, Reply)
TGB
It rings a bell, but there are certain things I try to ignore.

I don't have a problem with people talking about fillums with horrible bits in btw. It just made me feel a bit sicky thinking about it so I've decided to think of fluffehness instead.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:41, Reply)
Bummer Scarpe
I hope you have a good time.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:42, Reply)
*hi-fives sam*
*hands lusty something fluffy and a cuppa and some cake*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:42, Reply)
Good morning!
How are my pickles today?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:43, Reply)
Morning Lucy
Is 'pickles' a euphemism for some body parts?

*smuts*
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:43, Reply)
Morning Lucy!
How's the new car?

Edit: Kaol, you speak to your auntie like that? It's a term of endearment for small children (the rest of us)
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:44, Reply)
I'm going now
I've gotta go to Manchester on the way :|

Manchester was on my list of "places to never go".
Balls!

Anyway, I'll be back tomorrow evening or something.
Bye!

EDIT: Sam, what? I'm confused!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:44, Reply)
Thank you TGB
:D

Bye bye Kaol and Hello Miss LvP!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:46, Reply)
Hello LvP! *hugs*
How are you today?

And goodbye Kaol, hope the trip's ok!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:46, Reply)
Hi aunty Lucy *hugs*
How's things with you?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:46, Reply)
k2
if any of your body parts look like a pickle I recommend a trip to the doctor
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:46, Reply)
Sam
The car is magnifique with the only tiny hitch being that the cigarette lighter doesn't work. This wouldn't bother me but I need my Sat Nav to get out of London. But I played the GetOutOf LondonBeforeTheSatNavBatteryDies game yesterday and it went quite well.

Hello everyone else! I hope you're all ok!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:49, Reply)
Kaol
Lucy is official b3ta auntie to all of us, dispensing hugs, reading bedtime stories and calling us pickle..

Manchester is alright, it will be raining though because it always is.

Edit: Lucy - checked the fuse? French cars are famed for their, erm, interesting electrics.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:49, Reply)
Lucy
have you checked the fuse? Failing that is it probably just a loose wire. Did you get a new CD player for it?

Oh and hi :p Car stuff got me a little too excited there *oily glees*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:51, Reply)
Ooh
Am I official B3ta Aunty? That's ace! Everyone have a hug and a sweetie.
Nom.

I have found the fuses in the car but it doesn't come with a manual so I need to do some online investigation and then get Mr VP to do it.

I did indeed get a CD player and a friend fitted it for me. I was going to do it myself but he wanted to see if he could still do it. So I let him.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:55, Reply)
Mindpiss badger!
If it's not the fuse or a loose wire I'd probably just botch it by splitting the 12V feed to something else, there's plenty of them in the car. I am a botch merchant do like customising my possessions though.

Probably easier than troubleshooting Peugeot electrics...

Did it come with any sort of warranty?

Lucy - get a Haynes manual for it. Or pull all the fuses out of the box one by one and continuity test them, then replace any that are blown! There might also be a hidden fuse box in the engine bay or somewhere with more fuses in it, not sure on a 206 but it wouldn't surprise me, seen it on quite a few cars.

*takes sweet*

Edit 2: 200, yay!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 11:55, Reply)
@lucy
Usually the fuse box cover has a little legend on it detailing which fuses serve which circuits. It would be unusual for the cigarette lighter socket to have its own circuit, so check to see if everything else is working and if you find something that's not, chances are it's the same fuse.

Or just get Mr VP to do it!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 12:01, Reply)
Sam
Mr VP has said he'll treat me to a manual for it.

Who said romance is dead.

In other news, Presidents Of The United States of America are going to be back in Britain next year! Specifically in the Astoria if Facebook iLike is anything to go by.
How exciting! I'm going to get tickets, they are one of the best bands I've ever seen live.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 12:01, Reply)
Bless Mr vP!
I haven't heard any Presidents since, ooo, Peaches came out in the charts!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 12:08, Reply)
Millions of peaches, peaches for me!
I got all excited then because I thought you said the United States of America. I doubt they're touring though.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 12:10, Reply)
Lab
They just keep getting better and better! I've seen them twice now and they are super ace.
Last time they were supported by an insane Japanese punk band called Electric Eel Shock. If you ever get a chance to go and see them, do it. I can guarantee it won't be like any other band you've seen.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 12:10, Reply)
Electric Eel Shock are great
*has a bit of a love of mental Japanese bands*
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 12:11, Reply)
dammit
*sings*
Peaches come from a can they were put there by a man
In a factory downtown
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 12:11, Reply)
Lump
was possibly even better!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 12:12, Reply)
Lump was awesome
As were Dunebuggy and We're Not Gonna Make It (going from memory)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 12:13, Reply)
They are all aceness
Ooh I'm excited. I should probably stop talking about getting tickets and just get some tickets.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 12:19, Reply)
Hello again
I've been away, but now I'm back!

Today is dragging along, it feels like three rather than half twelve, and I'm feeling a bit MEH.

I just want to go home and get away from the folks in my office.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 12:22, Reply)
*grumbles*
Why don't people just come out and say "sorry we don't want you" rather than just not saying anything. It's rude and annoying. I like to know where I stand.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 12:34, Reply)
TGB
That is a nightmare. I'm still getting rejections from things I applied to months ago.

Which is a nice long way of kicking me in the teeth!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 12:38, Reply)
Yeah Badger
I wish people would say that as well, and when they do tell you it tends to be after you already know in yourself anyway.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 12:38, Reply)
Yeah
It also applies to individuals as well as companies!

*adds to long list of why she doesn't like people*

I think I need hugs :(
Also the Sainsbury job page (yes I am applying to work at Sainsburys woo) is stupid you can only apply for one position, then you have to wait to see if you get accepted. Why can't I just apply for all the jobs! Then they can offer me the one with the most hours :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 12:44, Reply)
Fucksocks
The job that I'd seen and was going to apply for seems to have been filled. That'll teach me to be crap at getting things done when I'm feeling depressed. *sigh*

My life seems to be full of vicious circles at the moment. Perhaps I'm so mad that I can draw a perfect circle free hand!

*tries*

*fails*

Bugger.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 12:48, Reply)
*hugs* Badger
With me it's not so much people , I've also been looking for a new job, and get nothing except reject slips!

I'm in a job and that's why I don't say anything, but it's still getting me down.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 12:49, Reply)
Oh dear
*hugs TGB*

*hugs Cap'n V*

*hugs the Dok*

Everybody seems to be having a poopy day today.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 12:51, Reply)
At least you can all walk!
*mongs around with limp*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 12:52, Reply)
Hooray for hugs
Hopefully I'll be able to be a bit energetic tonight and get lots of things done. I may fail, I may not, I may just end up playing world of warcraft instead. Who knows.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 12:53, Reply)
Thanks Aunty Lucy
I think I needed that.

But at least some people are happy.

So Badger, how about some more jokes like yesterday?

EDIT Yup I can still walk, but at the moment I want to walk right out of here, and if I do I don't think I'll have a job come Monday!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 12:53, Reply)
GROUP HUG!
*hugs*

Dok it is always shit looking for a new job. It has kind of hit me that I have 2 1/2 days left :S
I've applied for about 15 jobs overall and heard nothing from any of them. A "no" would have been preferable.

I am now deciding whether it makes more sense to apply for an early shift 0500 - 1000, which is less hours but means I can attend interviews and stuff in the day or a night shift 2300 - 0700 which obviously pays more but means I will be dead in the day and as it is Fri/Sat night any small chance of a social life is out the window. Argh!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 12:55, Reply)
*AWESOME GROUP HUG*
Maybe they've been inundated with applicants and just need bit more time. You never know.

I'd choose the early shift, I've done nights and it kills everything. At least with earlies you can get out and about to do things that need to be done.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 12:59, Reply)
TGB
I agree with doc. Do the early shift, it's not a permanent job and you'll need to be at your best for other interviews.
Yes it's less money but you're going to have to cut back whatever. It sounds to me like the better option.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:01, Reply)
Joke time!
This made me officelol

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and, as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:01, Reply)
TGB
Earlies are for the win. You can still do stuff in the afternoon.

I too have worked nights in a previous life, and it royally fucks up EVERYTHING.

LVP - I'm not having a poopy day. I'm full of glees. *proffers a handful of glees for the taking*
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:03, Reply)
*Officelol*
Good one. I wish I could remember good jokes, the ones I remember are crap, and should never be repeated!

I just hope I'm felling good on bash day, otherwise we'll all be crying into our pints.

*takes glee*

Thanks Ducky, I shall use it spairingly.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:06, Reply)
It's be fine dok
hugs and booze, what more do you need!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:10, Reply)
@ TGB
Hugs and booze?

Wait til next Friday, there shall be plenty then I would imagine:D

*glees at thought of next friday*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:12, Reply)
Not a lot really Badger
Beer and hugs, are all of great for getting somebody into a good mood.

But I'll still need to smoke every now and again.

EDIT Yup Boss, roll on next Friday! *waits*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:13, Reply)
It's going to be ace
Going to take next Friday off so I can get down for the early stages!

*dances*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:16, Reply)
One of my favourite things about next Friday
is that it's payday for me the day before.

*prepares for another night in the gutter*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:17, Reply)
Next Friday
I aim to be there as early as I can, but I can't get the day off. I expect I'll be there about 6 or 7ish :)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:18, Reply)
well ok smokes as well
A Jewish man moves into a Catholic neighborhood. Every Friday, the Catholics go crazy because, while they're morosely eating fish, the Jew is outside barbecuing steaks. So the Catholics work on the Jew to convert him. Finally, by threats and pleading, the Catholics succeed. They take the Jew to a priest who sprinkles holy water on the Jew and intones:

"Born a Jew -- Raised a Jew -- Now a Catholic."

The Catholics are ecstatic. No more delicious, but maddening smells every Friday evening. But the next Friday evening, the scent of barbecue wafts through the neighborhood. The Catholics all rush to the Jew's house to remind him of his new diet.

They see him standing over the cooking steak. He is sprinkling water on the meat and saying:

"Born a cow -- Raised a cow -- Now a fish."
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:18, Reply)
:(
I thought I could come next friday but one of Mr VP's friends is having a surprise party that he said we'd go to.
:(
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:19, Reply)
@ Lucy
Oh noes!

That's a shame, would have been ace to see you again:(
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:22, Reply)
Lucy! Noooooooooooo!!
*cries*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:24, Reply)
Beeker the pickle
I know! It's rubbish. And I don't even want to go to the stupid party. But I have to as Mr VP is coming back to Wiltshire for it and otherwise I won't see him.

It seems like I'll never meet everyone!

Edit - Lab, it's so sad isn't it.
*sobs*
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:24, Reply)
Drixy
It's payday for me as well so I think we'd better bring duvets and sleeping bags so we all don't get too cold in the gutter.

Well Boss and Lab I'll be in the pub at as close to half four as I can, It's not hat far away from my work, I'm thinking about quarter to five!

Boo Lucy, that's not good enough, you'll never meet us now! ;)

Keep going Badger, make me laugh some more please.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:26, Reply)
:(
Lucy that's rubbish make him come to the bash instead
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:27, Reply)
I know
I tried making him but he's booked him blimmin train tickets now.
Silly boy.
I'll be applying for London based jobs in the new year so I might pick a weekend and organise my own bash. If I organise it then I have to go.
There will be sweets aplenty.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:29, Reply)
Dok
Well, OK...but Wookiee has frightened me with tales of your sleeping bags.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:29, Reply)
Herr Dok
I shall head straight to the pub as soon as I get into London :D
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:30, Reply)
You'd better do Lucy
on pain of hugs, you had better!

But I don't have that one any more Drixy, I don't get on well with sleeping bags, so I'll bring a large duvet.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:31, Reply)
@ Dok and Lab
Think I shall too. If I aim for a 4pm arrival at King's X then should tie in quite nicely if I can find the place.

Oxford Circus roughly isn't it?
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:32, Reply)
According to the Calendar
The venue has changed, probably due to the size of the attending crowd ;)

Looks easy enough to get to though.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:35, Reply)
Fuck that then!
No way I'm working a full day if you lot are starting early. I'm gonna get there asap.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:35, Reply)
just scanning through the thread
if anyone gets the chance to see Presidents of the USA then do it. They are awesome live and their last 3 albums have been fucking brilliant.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:36, Reply)
Boss
It should only take about half an hour from Kings Cross, walking that is, assuming you don't get molested by any hookers on the way.

Or if you take the tube it's;
King's Cross St.Pancras Underground Station
Take the Hammersmith & City Line towards Baker Street
or Circle Line towards Baker Street
or Metropolitan Line towards Uxbridge
and it's two stops, and a short walk down the road.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:38, Reply)
I know
it's only about a 20 min walk from Marylebone :)
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:41, Reply)
@ Herr Dok
Piece of piss then, I get the Met to Lusty's anyway:D
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:43, Reply)
Yeah
It's about that Ducky.

It's a total piece if piss Boss, I'll be walking because my work is about half way between Kings Cross and the pub.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:46, Reply)
Marylebone
I'll walk from there then, anything to keep out of the tube!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:48, Reply)
Not that it affects me
But isn't The Horse & Groom smaller than The Yorkshire?
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:51, Reply)
Someone just phoned me then came into my office with a REALLY REALLY important job
"Drop everything, this has to be done today!"

It turns out to be mail merging a spreadsheet of her (personal) Christmas card recipients' addresses onto (company) labels (using company printer and ink), so she doesn't have to write them out by hand.

However, I'm far too busy playing internet games and posting on here, so I will do my best to avoid it til the end of the week, after which I'm on holiday for a week, so hopefully it won't get done at all. Who the fuck do these people think they are?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:53, Reply)
Scarpe
I don't know, but apparently it has and upstairs section.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:53, Reply)
@Dok
Ah, I didn't know that. I've only been a couple of times.

Mind you, I didn't know the Yorkshire had an upstairs either until the other day when I saw a sign saying 'upstairs bar closed for refurbushment'.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:54, Reply)
@ scarpe
Lusty was in recently and they said the Grey gets absolutely rammed on a Friday so this one is just round the corner and has the upstairs room:D
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:54, Reply)
@BK
Ah, yes, of course, I forgot it was a Friday. She's right, it's a nightmare on Fridays.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:55, Reply)
Lab
do you not like the tube?

I liek to ride the tube. *insert your own cock joke here*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:57, Reply)
Woo!
Just got tickets to see The Wildhearts in December :D
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 13:58, Reply)
@ TGB
Arf!

*cheap innuendo glees*

@Lab
My bro went to see them the other month. He said they were awesome, and played Earth Vs... in its entirity!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:00, Reply)
I am so out of touch
I have never even heard of The Wildhearts.

I'm going to see Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine next on Friday though.

Me = Down with the kids.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:01, Reply)
BK
I couldn't get tickets to see the Earth Vs gig :(

I have seen them 16 times though, and they're still one of the best live bands i've seen.

Edit: Scarpe, some of my friends are seeing Carter as well. One is seeing Carter on friday, then going to Damnation on Saturday!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:01, Reply)
@TGB
Yeah, but do you make the change at Baker Street?
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:02, Reply)
I just looked up Damnation
Not a single band I have heard of :(
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:04, Reply)
I'm going to Damnation
there's only two bands I haven't heard of XD
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:08, Reply)
I've heard of quite a few of them
Wouldn't pay to go and see any of them though!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:08, Reply)
@ scarpe
Tha Wildhearts have been around since the early 90's!

A friend of mine back in the day used to follow Carter around the country, along with his groupie friend, known only as 'Flangey Ange':D
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:08, Reply)
I can't
figure out the innuendo in Baker Street....
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:09, Reply)
Scarpe
What? Baker St?

Badger, as somebody who uses the tube every day I can assure you that the tube is crap, but I love it!

EDIT That sound a bit bad when I see it on the screen.

I saw Marilyn Manson a few years ago, the best thing about the gig was Dita Von Teese, and the support Peaches!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:10, Reply)
opinions please
I am booking tickets for Spamalot and I've found a website that has tickets with a face value of 60.00 each going for 39.50 but it doesn't specify where the seats are.
Do you think they are the 60.00 seats and on offer or are they going to be restricted vision?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:10, Reply)
@ himjim
How late you going to be in Leeds then?

Me and Lusty and my bro getting drunk at my house on Saturday!

Taint and Shels for the win!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:11, Reply)
@BK
Well, 92-95 was my Oasis period (I was in Manchester when Supersonic came out, it was difficult not to get caught up in the fervour).

Then I discovered E and Sankys Soap/Home/Pollen and lost track of anything that didn't go 'Beep'.

And after that...well, lets just say that my music taste took an unexpected turn and save me the shame of talking about it any further.

Still, I'm surprised that I haven't even heard the name before.

Edit: Baker Street is where you change from the pink line to the brown line.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:13, Reply)
Sounds a bit dodgy Lucy
A man comes home early from work one day to find his best mate in bed with his wife.
Overcome by anger, he stabs him to death.
The wife, shaking her head, looks at him and says, "Keep that up and, pretty soon, you'll have no friends left!"
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:13, Reply)
BK
I'm going to be in Leeds until at least 1ish on Sunday!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:13, Reply)
TGB
At Baker Street you can change from the Hammersmith & City line (pink) to the Bakerloo line, which is coloured brown on the tube map.

'Noon all.

EDIT - Too slow, damn you Scarpe.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:14, Reply)
Lucy
I'd want to know where the seats are first, but then again there are a lot of places that do cheap theatre tickets now.

Badger with these jokes you are spoiling us. ;)

I love them really, they brighten up my day in a crap office.

EDIT Hi Wookie, how's tricks?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:17, Reply)
Ahh
Thanks Wookiee

(oh and scarpe up there)
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:19, Reply)
@ 'jim
What time does it start?

Myself and Lusty shall be in town to meet my bro off the train but can get in at any time:D
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:19, Reply)
@ Badger
Alcohol killed my ex wife.

I came home pissed and shot the bitch:D
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:21, Reply)
aarg
I'm getting in all of a tizzy trying to choose which site to get my tickets from and which seats would be best for us.

help me.

where's HLT when I need her theatrical advice?!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:25, Reply)
@Lucy
I'd choose seats in a different theatre.

(sorry, that's no help, but I really didn't think a great deal of Spamalot)
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:26, Reply)
Doors open
at 4, but I'll be around in Leeds from about midday I think :D
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:26, Reply)
Scarpe
You are just a heathen, and shall now not get that pint!

Oh and if anybody is interested for my birthday next year (see http://www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/16693) I would like Dita Von Teese.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:28, Reply)
scarpe
But they have to be spamalot, it's a christmas present!

I'm being unusually indecisive today. Normally this wouldn't be a problem at all.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:31, Reply)
My boss
has just lost an entire folder in my inbox! I have no idea where the heck it's got to!

Come back folder!!!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:33, Reply)
@Lucy
In that case, if it's still at the same theatre (the one on Charring Cross road at the end of Old Compton Street? Next to The Spice of Life?) I remember it being a very tall, thin theatre, and we were right at the back. Could see well enough, but not good if you don't like heights.

@Dok. Sorry, but it just felt like a pointless rehash of the best bits of various python films where I'd seen all the good old bits many times and the new bits were shown up by their lack of quality in comparison.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:34, Reply)
Scarpe
That's what it's meant to be though.

Aw you can still get a pint, it would be churlish of me not to get you one.

Badger how can they lose an entire folder, is your inbox that big?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:36, Reply)
TGB
Restore it from the backup, surely?

(sanctimonious IT department answer)

Edit: wild guess, are you in Outlook and have Mail view selected at the bottom left instead of Folder List? Catches quite a few people out...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:37, Reply)
I'm good thanks Dok,
just busy and tired. And my internets at home are giving me grief.

You in the pub tonight?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:37, Reply)
@Dok
Yeah, I guess. I'd just hoped for more.

I'm hard to please comedy wise I think.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:39, Reply)
Wookie
Tonight? Oh S.C. no I can't make tonight sorry.

Scarpe, I know I liked it but normally I don't do comedy well, I've not got the right sense of humour.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:42, Reply)
Dok!
What? You're not going? WTF - are you pretending to have a life?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:43, Reply)
Found it
My inbox is huuuuuge because I have a different folder for company and then a different subfolder for each site.

She had managed to not only drag it to a different company folder but as she double clicks had changed the folder name to "Westbrook" which was actually the surname she was looking for.

How this happened I do not know *shakes head sadly*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:45, Reply)
It's one of my pet peeves
People who double click when there's no need!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:46, Reply)
Drixy
Contrary to popular belief I have a life, it's not very exciting, but it's a life none the less.

Yay for the finding Badger. Now remember to delete your inbox completely when you leave on Friday.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:50, Reply)
*hugs Dok*
You're lovely.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:50, Reply)
My dad
clicks on the drop down menus on the toolbar to open the sub menus. I have told him he doesn't need to do this about 372 times. I have now given up.

He does it on the start menu too :(
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:51, Reply)
@ S-o-S
One of my pet peeves.

Homeless people by a cash point. Surely their lot in life would lead them down a pessimistic route, not the blind optimism it takes to stand by a cash point looking tragic on the off-chance some rich person will pass him a note?


*edit*
300! Woop!
*shrugs*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:53, Reply)
I try to be Drixy
Oh yes I do, I don't always succeed.

*hugs*

Have you sorted your foot yet! *glare*

I will be out twice next week though!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:55, Reply)
Grr
Spent 15 minutes wrestling with the eurostar website, having it crash constantly, only to find that all the prices to Liege are ridiculously expensive!

*fumes*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 14:57, Reply)
Dok
Actually, it's a lot better just having rested it. I'm going to see how it goes tomorrow - I've hurt it before because it's a weak and treacherous piece of shit (not literally), just not this badly.

But I promise to go to the big, minty hospital if it gives me any more trouble (or, failing that, ask Kaol to chop it off and replace it with a a wheel).
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:00, Reply)
Why
you going to Leige? *noses* Bring me back some cheap cigarettes!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:01, Reply)
TGB
I want to get my tattoo finished, and the artist is based in Liege.

I've found flights from Heathrow are MUCH cheaper, just have to wait and see when the guy is free to inflict more pain on me!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:02, Reply)
Drixy
You make sure you do, I want you to be able to come out and play.

Lab, that site is crap, I can't remember the last time I got it to work properly.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:02, Reply)
Ooh yeah
I know you did want to do that I just couldn't remember where the guy was.

I smoke B&H silver *grins*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:06, Reply)
I'll have
200 red Luckies, and 200 Marlboro shites

Thankyouplease :P
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:14, Reply)
Lab
Pain is good for the body and mind, and can also be used in a number of good ways.

And I smoke whateever I get. Thanks.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:15, Reply)
Woo!
I've BOOKED THEM!
hooray.

And I've gone for a Saturday Matinee so we have plenty of time to get drunk afterwards.
Splendid.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:17, Reply)
I've quit smoking
So may I have foreign sweets please?

Thanks.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:20, Reply)
Herr Dok
I don't like pain, i'm not someone who gets the whole pleasure/pain thing.

That being said, I love tattoos. I can put up with the pain if i'm getting some incredible art at the end of it.

Edit: Ignores all those demanding cigarettes, because they smell :p
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:21, Reply)
Do you know
the sweet shop in Covent Garden Lucy?

Might have closed now, it's ages since I've been there. My mate's housemate worked there. Sells loads of interesting foreign sweets!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:21, Reply)
Sam
Oooh no I don't. I found quite a good sweet shop in Soho. I can normally sniff out confectionery from quite a way away.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:24, Reply)
@Sam
Is that Cyber Candy?

I love Cyber Candy. There's one in Brighton where I regularly stock up on A&W Root Beer in the summer.

£5 for a two litre bottle is disgusting, but I do it anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:25, Reply)
*cries*
*collapses on Lab*

Please bring me cigarettes, they are the only thing in life that never let me down
*cries more*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:27, Reply)
But Lab
It's the bodies way of telling you something is wrong! or right Anyhoo tattoo pain is dependant on where the tattoo os placed, mine didn't hurt, but then again I've been told I have a very high pain threshold. Though I don't think so!

Boo on the no smokes!

EDIT Surely Badger B3ta doesn't let you down!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:27, Reply)
Dok
I've found the following areas really quite painful for tattoos:

* Around the ankle
* Inner wrist
* A random area just under the upper arm

Very very sharp pain! I can cope with the dull throbbing pain though.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:33, Reply)
Lab
I'd never get one in any of those place, but I can see how they would be painful.

Ouch, just thinking about it.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:34, Reply)
Dok
When I get my sleeve finished, I'll have to endure a lot of sensitive skin being needled :S
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:38, Reply)
Inner wrist
does hurt like a mofo.

*boreds* I should really do some work...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:40, Reply)
But Lab
Think of all the lollipops you'll get to have whilst getting it done.

When I got mine done the (beautiful and french) tattoo artist just handed me a massive jar of sweets and told me to help myself.
I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:40, Reply)
Lab
I wish you luck, and hope that it's not too painful.

Oh I forgot to tell everybody, I dyed my hair on Sunday, deep purple, well black really with a purple shine.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:41, Reply)
scarpe
Yep, that's the one - I'd forgotten what it was called but just Googled it. Lucy, you have to go there!!

@ Lab - we smell, or the cigarettes do? If you don't smoke you should consider it your duty to bring some back for everyone else :D
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:41, Reply)
Dok
I demand photos!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:44, Reply)
Sam
Oh bollocks, I was in Brighton AND London this weekend! What a missed opportunity!

I'm on the website now. People, if you're looking for ideas for presents for me then this is the place.
Well here and wherever a pint glass with Christian Bale's face is.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:45, Reply)
Sam
Cigarettes smell :p

I'll take my standard tattoo survival kit of PSP, Lucozade and sweets. Hopefully that'll keep me going.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:46, Reply)
Badger
I also did my beard!

Photos you demand! Then photos you shall have!

Sometime, soonish, maybe.

If not you'll see it next week!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:51, Reply)
Right
I'm off to the gym to fight the flab.

Speak to you all later!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:56, Reply)
Lab you smell
And I shall indeed Dok *glees*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:57, Reply)
TGB
I smell lovely.

My housemate's persuading me to join a gym/spa outside of Stratford. I'm going for a free guest visit soon, it looks lavish.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:58, Reply)
Bye Lucy!
*waves*
*looks for low fat sweets for Lucy's xmas present*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:59, Reply)
Bye Aunty Lucy
Don't work too hard in the gym.

Why do I always get a strange feeling whe Badger glees at me? What's she planning folks, help me out here.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 16:01, Reply)
Nothing Dok
*looks innocent* Have another bad joke...

Three aspiring psychiatrists, from three different universities, were attending their first class on emotional extremes.
'Just to establish some parameters,' said the professor to the student from Oxford University, 'What is the opposite of joy?'
'Sorrow' said the student.
'And the opposite of depression?' he asked the young lady from Cambridge.
'Elation' she said.
'And you, sir' he said to the student from Trinity College Dublin,
'How about the opposite of woe?'.
The student replied, 'I believe dat would be 'giddy up'.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 16:06, Reply)
Oh god
How can I believe your innocence when you tell me jokes like that.

My office is full so I can't even lol properly.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 16:08, Reply)
Afternoon peoples
Today is a rubbish day. Will tomorrow be better? Answers on a postcard please!
(Moniker, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 16:10, Reply)
Hi Moniker
I hope so. But I've been known to be wrong at times!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 16:12, Reply)
Hiya Herr Doktor
How's your afternoon?
(Moniker, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 16:16, Reply)
Tomorrow will be worse
Because I really have to do work then!

I am going to make some tea now though. Anyone want one?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 16:17, Reply)
Moniker
Not bad now, really bad earlier.

No ta Badger, I'm just about to leave and go home. It's a long journey and I don't want to pee myself.

Well I'm off, I'll see people who are on tonight, later.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 16:20, Reply)
Hey GB
Would LOVE a brew! :)
(Moniker, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 16:22, Reply)
*gives Moniker a brew*
I hope you like strong tea cuz that's how I make it :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 16:29, Reply)
Strong tea?
That's how it should be drunk! Much obliged to you.

*goes to fetch carrot cake*
(Moniker, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 16:32, Reply)
Ok Al
We had a big naked orgy with lots of whipped cream. Then however someone got hit in the crotch with a football.

We all laughed. Then we got dressed and started drinking tea and eating cake
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 16:48, Reply)
I just sat and watched.
And that's all.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 16:49, Reply)
My boss
says "weir-wolf" instead of werewolf. It is annoying.

Clendrix was making the men get her ice for her foot and I think she licked some cream off someones beard!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 16:53, Reply)
Well, I did prod a few people with sticks.
But then I wandered off and made some tea.

Still pure and sweet.

Badger! You naughty thing.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 16:53, Reply)
I'm
Not naughty I am lovely and sweet and innocent.

Why is everyone laughing?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 17:00, Reply)
Hello
Hello hello hello. Won't be on here long - just hiding from the boss's missus's kid. Urgh.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 17:52, Reply)
Whipped cream?
Hang on a minute (why do I never read any preceeding posts before I pop on?) There were orgies with whipped cream?

Why didn't you share?? Not the orgies, the whipped cream. I could do with a good old blob of whipped cream right now.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 17:54, Reply)
I'm sorry...
Did everyone go home?

Well in that case I shall write a story...

The adventures of Rafe the wonder dog... an his hero alias - Swift Windy!!

With a fart that can kill at forty paces

(ps this is a factual story) (Swift Windy was when we went to a fancy dress party) (I was she-ra - he my trusty steed - with silver wings)
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 18:14, Reply)
Swift Windy gets ill
Once upon a time Swift Windy decided that he'd get ill.

The illness meant that - although he looked ok he kept coughing so had to be given lots of honey to make him feel better....

I'm a bit bored now.

Anyway, Rafe the wonder dog is driving me nuts coz he can't go out coz of his being contagious - so I can't get away at the weekend, so we're both getting quite tetchy in quarantine.

I may end up playing hide and seek with him in the house later.



I think I may be losing the plot.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 18:20, Reply)
Evening you sexfaced lot!
The evening thread is here. Cast your vote thusly.

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post306318
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 18:34, Reply)

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