morning you lot...
ready for what wednesday will throw at you? cos here it comes...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Wed 4 Mar 2009, 7:29, 145 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

well if nobody wants to play...
then i may as well go to work!
got big strenuous stuff to do today, involving steel and acro-props and stuff. feeling some mild anxiety about it, which i guess is a good thing. keep me on my toes, so it will!

see you all later, p'raps,
Blaireau69
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Wed 4 Mar 2009, 8:09, Reply)

Wednesday can get to FUCK
Why isn't it the weekend or why am I not on holiday!

*scours calendar for holiday opportunities*
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 8:45, Reply)

If you post a HSH pic
they will come

*throws sand everywhere*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 9:10, Reply)

*spluffs*
And I didn't even need a HSH picature.
( Captain V, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 9:16, Reply)

Well.....
I have an interveiw in about 3 hours, and such. So no, I am basicaly not ready for wedensday. Can I go back to bed please?
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 9:17, Reply)

I wonder
What someone will say today that will be in TGB's signature tomorrow...
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 9:19, Reply)

Morning all
Is this today's HSH then?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 9:33, Reply)

Looks like it
Morning all. I'm stealing myself to start on project appraisals today, but my motivational chip won't kick in until my second cup of coffee...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 4 Mar 2009, 9:34, Reply)

I'm supposed to be having a team meeting
But I cancelled it because I can't be arsed. I'm having a quiet day today.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 9:35, Reply)

Wish I had the option
It's been bedlam here recently, projects flying at me from all directions.

Still, I'd rather be busy than not most of the time. I'm feeling a bit fuzzy this morning though, so need to kick myself up the arse to get started.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 4 Mar 2009, 9:40, Reply)

DG
Are you sure you aren't steeling yourself?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 9:45, Reply)

Possibly...
Like I said, a bit fuzzy this morning... :P
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 4 Mar 2009, 9:46, Reply)

News just in
Apple are cunts.

Does anyone know what the hard drive is in a first gen MacBook Pro, 2.5" SATA-300 I assume? Can't be arsed to look it up and I need a USB adapter for it.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 9:51, Reply)

Sorry Sam
Am a techno Luddite with regard to these things.

Right, best get off and work. Laters.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 4 Mar 2009, 9:54, Reply)

I made sandwiches this morning
For work, which is something I do intermittently depending on how awake I am between 7 and 8. However I wasn't awake enough to remember I have the afternoon off so I could have not bothered and made them once I got home. Oh well.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 10:00, Reply)

I have to make mine the night before
It takes me 5 minutes then; if I try and do it in the morning it takes half an hour, and that's for wonky bread and a 200% extra chance of slicing my fingers off.

I'm not very good at mornings. Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 10:01, Reply)

If I made them the night before
They'd get soggy as I usually have tomato and cucumber on them.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 10:11, Reply)

I'm crap at mornings
And also crap at going to bed at a reasonable time, so I always get less sleep than I should.

But I kick myself at weekends for sleeping until 11am and wasting valuable time off.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 4 Mar 2009, 10:12, Reply)

Yo all
how we doing?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 10:12, Reply)

Morning Eth
Not bad thanks, apart from fact that it's morning. How's yer good self?

I really should get back to reading the business plan that's sat in front of me...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 4 Mar 2009, 10:14, Reply)

Chains
Are you just jealous nothing you have ever said has got into my signature?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 10:21, Reply)

TGB
Maybe a little bit.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 10:31, Reply)

Wow
Quiet in here today isn't it?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 10:40, Reply)

Aw poor chains :p
And yeah it is quiet.

Maybe everyone slept in
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 10:42, Reply)

I slept in :D
But then HSH threads need a pic to be obvious to those of us so lazy we can't be bothered to actually read and stuff.
( djtrialprice, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 10:44, Reply)

Well good morning
I didn't sleep in, I was just doing other things.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 10:48, Reply)

My connection was down
And just when I decided to use my phone as an mp3 player, it has returned. I lost the big long post I wrote about my cat though. Perhaps that's for the best.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 10:52, Reply)

Like Dok
I've been doing other things ='[

Good news though - As of last night I'm no longer available!
( Captain V, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 10:54, Reply)

Aww V, does that mean I can't forcibly bugger you until you bleed anymore?
*has teh sads at such news despite being unavailable herself*
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 10:57, Reply)

Indeed it does Becky
It was a difficult sacrifice to make, I'm going to miss it a lot.
( Captain V, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 10:58, Reply)

I still can though
Right?
(bill, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:03, Reply)

Congrats Cap
I take it you have a new sexehtiem provider?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:03, Reply)

V
No longer available? Is that for entetaining children at parties as a clown?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:04, Reply)

I thoroughly approve
of this sort of thing
( djtrialprice, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:06, Reply)

I've been unavailable for that for several years Dok
Ever since the police told me that getting little children to suck on my lollipop isn't considered entertainment.

@Bill Only on Thursdays. Thursdays are my night off.

@LiC I most certainly have =D
( Captain V, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:06, Reply)

Congrats V
I just broke my stress ball. This has made me more stressed
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:10, Reply)

Booooo V
That sucks, not the lollipop though.

So tell us all about her.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:12, Reply)

Sorry Badger
I knew you'd be upset but didn't realise it'd be quite so bad!

In annoying news - I can't replace the glasses I lost at the weekend because they no longer do the frames in the colour I had. Now I have to choose a different colour or find new frames =/
( Captain V, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:13, Reply)

Yeah V
I don't think I can go on any more.

I'm fed up of talking to stupid people on the phone. Aptly my stress "ball" was actually a stress telephone and I broke the receiver off
:(

I think I need a drink
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:19, Reply)

Badger
Is the official B3ta sexehtiem provider, and is required to sign off on you going private.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:20, Reply)

@LiC
Hahahahahaha
( djtrialprice, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:21, Reply)

I'd like
To use some of the people here as stress balls, and punch the living crap out of them.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:23, Reply)

@Dok
Not much to say. She had a thing for me when we were at school and I was dating her friend. We had a one night stand after me and her friend had split up but I didn't really want anything to do with her (romantically) back then because she was very weird.

Lost contact with her about a year ago but started talking again recently. She's changed quite a lot, is now pretty much normal (relative to me at least!) and have been getting on really well. We'd been discussing where things might be going and last night decided that as we've been behaving like a couple we may as well stop discussing it and just say that we are a couple.
( Captain V, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:23, Reply)

haha
Very good Chains if it wasn't too long I'd use that as my sig :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:24, Reply)

I shall have to take length into account
When making my next attempt. How many characters am I allowed again?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:32, Reply)

2 played by A list actors
A couple of B and C list and as many as 42.3 extras.
( Captain V, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:33, Reply)

Nice one V
Good luck to the pair of you.

Badger you could shorten it to 'Official B3ta Sex Worker'. ;)
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:33, Reply)

Thanks Dok
I think she's going to need all the luck she can get!
( Captain V, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:37, Reply)

You should always take length into account
I know I do ;)

and 50 characters
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:38, Reply)

I was told
by a friend that more than a mouthful was a waste!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:45, Reply)

I'll go with
Sir Anthony Hopkins and Salma Hayek, with David Spade and the rotting corpse of Chris Farley in supporting roles.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:46, Reply)

Dok
are you trying to mould the "more than a handful is a waste" boob line to suit your tiny fella? :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:50, Reply)

Not I
For the friend didn't say it about me.

I did mention the boobie one to him, and he giggled like a schoolgirl.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:57, Reply)

You just want him to
Whip it out and wave it at you.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:57, Reply)

Well it is a quiet day
Chains, I need some amusement :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:01, Reply)

Morning all
how did the job stuff go Doc?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:01, Reply)

It's afternoon
Jim. You big loser.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:02, Reply)

I haven't had lunch yet
Therefore it is still morning.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:03, Reply)

Jim
Still waiting to find out all of the ins and outs, but I'm not terribly hopeful.

*whips out nob*

*whirls it about*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:04, Reply)

Sam
Where is the sam solidarity?!

And woo shake it like a polaroid picture Dok
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:05, Reply)

Did someone say "Amusement"?
Here I am!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:06, Reply)

Well good luck to you
this is potentially my last week at the current job.

Also loser :(

Also, Birthday?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:09, Reply)

*puts nob away*
That's enough excitement for the time being.

Hi Red.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:10, Reply)

Last week?
Cut backs?

And mine or yours? Mine is obviously more important.

OOOH my friend Boot is hopefully coming up for my birthday too *glees hard*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:11, Reply)

The company I work for
ceased to trade on Friday the 13th.

Hmm.

Mine is obviously less important as I don't like it.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:13, Reply)

You can have my job if you want himjim
I'm bored of it now.

Pros: get paid for drinking tea and surfing b3ta all day
Cons: the novelty wears off, believe me. And it's in the middle of bloody nowhere.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:13, Reply)

Badger
My birthday is far more important.

And I don't know if I'm going to make your one, due to having to spend near £800 last weekend.

This makes me sad.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:15, Reply)

Birthdays are all of the win
If you promise not to be a cunt Jim you are welcome to join the celebrations of the birth of the best person ever (me) on the 21st

and fine fuck you Dok *sulks*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:15, Reply)

At the moment
I am being paid to drink coffee and surf the web (mostly Kotaku and B3ta).

Soon I shall be loading computers into the back of my car though :D

Mwhahahaha.

Badger, when's your Birthday? Actual day I mean.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:16, Reply)

on the 20th
which is a Friday. I'm thinking of having a dinner party to prove I am slightly grown up. It will probably end up as cider and pizza though
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:18, Reply)

Sam
I'll have your job, it's a lot like what I do now.

Badger, If there is anyway I can be there I will be that's a promise.

Jim, load those computers, load them now. I'm thinking of doing the same.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:19, Reply)

I've got my eye on a couple
mostly raiding the older ones for parts though.

Mine's on the 17th, so I'm not sure whether to go for drinks on 14th (Irish band on at bar) or actually on the 17th.

No-one will come anyway, so it should be fine either way.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:23, Reply)

Yeah
everyone is saving themselves for mine. Sucks to be you!

Ooh steal me a flatscreen monitor!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:24, Reply)

I'll give them your details Dok
There's a strong possibility I'm going to move to Sussex and sign on for a bit quite soon so there'll be a tea drinking vacancy here.

You winning any interesting computer equipment jim?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:24, Reply)

Just the usual
a few flatscreens (lully shiny ones) some 150gb IDEs and Dell Precision 380 (no idea what it's doing here, but I'm having it).

I will see what I can sort out.

I kind of meant that no-one will come because no-one knows it's my Birthday!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:27, Reply)

Sam
I can just see that description now;

Tea drinking, web surfing, Scottish nutter, wants to work for you. Master of bad spelling and grammar.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:30, Reply)

That might be a problem
My colleague is pretty dyslexic, so I have to catch all his spelling mistakes...

In fact I'm using a piece of software now which has the options 'mangage customers' and 'ammendment history', amongst many others!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:31, Reply)

I'm not that bad
I tend to catch a lot of things.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:34, Reply)

Himjim
We now know about your birthday. If you lived within fifteen miles of me I might even come out for a drink.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:35, Reply)

Go out on the 18th
Pound a pint.

I'm getting quite hungry. I may have a pasty for lunch
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:35, Reply)

I'm starving
I can't wait for lunch!

I have no pasty today but I do have some sausage rolls.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:38, Reply)

I have already eaten my sandwiches
And a sausage roll and a yoghurt.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:41, Reply)

Sam what does the verb mangage actually mean?
It sounds fun =D
( Captain V, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:43, Reply)

It's what you do
to retarbs
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:44, Reply)

Hey
I'll have you know I'm not retarbed. Nobodies going to mangage me!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:47, Reply)

I'm making roast potatoes infused with salt and Chili oil
They smell goooood :)

Afternoon Himjim
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:57, Reply)

'lo becky
Sounds nice. You're not making that on reception, I hope?

*Sigh* I have 2 meetings this afternoon, neither of which I can be remotely arsed with.

*EDIT* Bit slow in here isn't it?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 4 Mar 2009, 13:08, Reply)

Need some advice
Inspired by this and not being able to recieve some naughty photos on my phone over the weekend I'm considering getting a new one.

Only problem is finding one that does what I want - one that's effectively a miniature PC that can make phone calls.
( Captain V, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 13:18, Reply)

Phones
A Phone is a very personal decision but for me I'd recommend the following depending on which OS you prefer:

OSX: iPhone is the only option here - Still can't recieve MMS messages directly

Series 60: Nokia N96 for the media features, Nokia E71 if you want a qwerty keyboard.

WinMob: HTC Touch HD for a touchscreen or one of the Samsungs for qwerty

BBOS: The Blackberry Bold 9000 for a qwerty or the Storm 9500 for a touchscreen or the girlie 8220 pearl flip if you like that sort of thing

Edited to add 8220, thanks for the reminder duckie!
(bill, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 13:23, Reply)

Captain
Avoid the Windows Mobile devices like the plague. I've had 3 different ones (WM2003, WM5 and WM6), 2 of which were HTC and one was Asus. Without fail, they were shite. They were slow, buggy and seemed to have a very fragile TAPI layer, meaning that even phonecalls were a bit hit and miss sometimes.

Much as I hate to admit it, my current crackberry is in a different league. It's only a Pearl, but I wanted something small enough to rattle around in my pocket with everything else.

Edit: Bludgeons thread brutally with a rotten lettuce, before making a macabre glove puppet out of its still-fresh corpse.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 13:24, Reply)

I'd pretty much ruled out windows mobile
Considering how much I hate using windows on desktops and find laptops to be even worse I just assumed windows mobile would be awful.

I think I'll have to get into some shops and try some phones out 'cause my impression from what I've read about the different OSs on the net is that I should wait in hope that openmoko project matures some more.
( Captain V, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 13:36, Reply)

Allo Allo
how is everyone?
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 13:37, Reply)

Hi Zap!
Cap: Don't bother waiting for openmoko, get something soon and you'll be due an upgrade again before that project gets anywhere close to viable!

Edit: Same goes for Google Android (T-Mobile G1), needs at least 12-18 months before it's worth considering.
(bill, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 13:39, Reply)

I've had a few smartphones, went off them though
Can't be arsed with having to charge them every day, and they all seem slow and buggy, particularly Win Mobile and S60 ones.

(there are a lot of rumours about a new version of WinMob, as to be fair the current one is years old. No idea when it'll come out though)

The iPhone has the best implemented UI but is handicapped in a lot of crucial areas, and I couldn't live without some buttons, I fucking hate this current trend for touchscreens. And I try to refuse to buy Apple products on principle, unless I really need to.

Blackberries send me into a foaming rage and I can barely stop myself stamping them into smithereens, everyone else seems to like them though.

You missed the G1 as well bill, I haven't tried that yet but it does at least have a keyboard as well as the touchscreen.

I've settled for having a normal phone that texts and calls people and has a reasonably good web browser (and a lot of battery life), and a 13" laptop which is fairly portable if I want to do anything more computer ish. Not keen on trying to do much on a small resolution screen.

I thought you had a netbook anyway Captain, surely this is the niche they're designed to fill?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 13:40, Reply)

I've just
logged into Youtube and one of the videos 'recommended' for me is two girls one cup.

What the bull shuddering fuck?

*May* be looking at too much pron?
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 13:42, Reply)

Zap
It might not count but I'm clicking I Like This anyway!

Thanks, I needed a giggle!
(bill, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 13:45, Reply)

Custard Creams
are vile.

Rich Tea is the way forward.

I did get attacked by some little chavs the other day. Little bastards seemed to feel that I needed to get my phone out to tell them the time. They were a little confused when I pointed to the tall church tower with a clock on...
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 13:47, Reply)

Zap that's worrying
But hilarious.

@Bill You've got a point about openmoko but based on my interwebs browsing that's going to be the closest to what I'm after and if I can't get what I'm after now I'll just get a cheap phone that can handle MMS.

@Sam My netbook doesn't fit in my pocket though allowing me to have a real life HHGTTG on me at all times!
( Captain V, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 13:48, Reply)

You mean you haven't got a man bag? :P
I was tempted by netbooks until I had a go on one, I could probably cope with the tiny screen resolution at a pinch but the slowness of the Atom was a definite deal breaker for me.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 13:51, Reply)

What OS were you using?
I wouldn't install XP on a netbook if you paid me but my full fat Ubuntu with an eee pc optimised kernal installed runs absolutely fine. Going to try out the two eee pc optimised ubuntu installs at some point to see if they're any faster but as I'm happy with the standard one I've been slow getting around to it.
( Captain V, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 13:54, Reply)

XP
Some of the software I use isn't available for Linux.

They may not be particularly designed to run XP but I'm pretty hot on stripping all the useless shite out, and it honestly felt slower than a P3 laptop with 256MB RAM I've got. Not really progress in my book, even if the Atom isn't supposed to be mega fast!

(it was an Acer netbook with 1.5GB of RAM I think)

My laptop's still alright but it's getting a bit long in the tooth now, I'll probably buy the new version of the same (or possibly a Toshiba, they've been impressing me lately) when I've got the cash. I don't mind sacrificing a bit of portability for all the extra features and performance.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 13:57, Reply)

Oh onions
I have a possibly semi interesting story about onions.

This was 2005 and I was trying to impress a young lady so that she would remove her pants and let me lie on top of her in an invigorating manner.

So how did I try to impress her? I smoked a lot of weed, drank a lot of cider, and then at a party staggered up to her and turned on the charm.

I stared into her soft brown eyes, stroked her cheek, made her smile... and thats when the hunger hit me. She (along with a few other people) accompanied me to a local kebab van. For some reason one of the other drunks bet me that I couldn't eat two whole onions, chopped up.

No fricking problem thinks I.

So I order two whole onions, chopped up. I pay with a £20 and only remember getting £4 change.

We went back to mine, I put a movie on and about 5 of us sat in the dark watching it. Her hand found my leg and stroked it. I found my plastic fork and began shovelling raw onion into my face.

When she tried to kiss me she almost vomited.

When I tried to talk the next day I had onion juice induced blisters on my tongue and cheeks that made it incredibly painful.

She ended up going out with a chemical engineer.

I ended up smelling of onions for a fortnight.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 13:58, Reply)

Its
amazing what deeply humiliating personal stories I'm willing to pull out to avoid work...
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 14:01, Reply)

Fair enough Sam
I reckon if I were buying it again I'd consider something bigger, maybe about 13". All I really use it for is browsing the net, plugging usb devices in (mainly cameras) and, when I get around to setting it up, remote access to my PC.

I seem to be saying "when I get around to it..." a lot lately.

@Al Fuck you cum bucket.
( Captain V, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 14:07, Reply)

My list of 'when I get round to it' technical jobs is ever growing too...
I've just ordered an eeePC for someone at work's mum so it'll be interesting to play with it when it arrives anyway.

Re. screen sizes, I have a 17" and a 13" so I can pick and choose which one I take somewhere! The big one usually stays at home though, it's not as good apart from the screen size.

@ Al - MAN THE FUCK UP
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 14:13, Reply)

Top of my list
Is to setup my Mum and sister's old PC as a file server so that I can really fuck about and learn to use Linux without fear of losing my data and do clean installs as often as I bugger shit up.

I've been saying "this weekend" for about 2 months now though =/
( Captain V, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 14:22, Reply)

Al man the fuck up and stop being bored
or I'll set Bert on you. Anyone seen him lately? Or has he disappeared up a goats arse again?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 14:24, Reply)

*checks own arse*
Well he's not up mine...
( Captain V, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 14:25, Reply)

Yay!
Trouble and strife!

I've just cut my thumb open.

Blood is such an attractive feature
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 14:33, Reply)

*sniffs*
I thought I could smell blood.
( Cawl, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 14:39, Reply)

Do
you want to suck it off my thumb?
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 14:45, Reply)

Nah,
I'm ok thanks.
I need to be much more careful about taking strange men from the internet up on "sucking it off" offers.
( Cawl, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 14:49, Reply)

Dammit
I thought I was well in there...
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 14:50, Reply)

That'd
be the first time for a while.

So I win!

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 14:56, Reply)

Yeah, like whatever.
Talk to the hand, biatch.
( Cawl, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 14:58, Reply)

Oh Kaol
Your hands are so rought and manly against my delicates...
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 14:58, Reply)

Sometimes if my
biscuits have gone a bit dry I moisten them up with my ladyjuice.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 15:00, Reply)

Sort
of like the biscuit game? But less revolting?
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 15:00, Reply)

What the fuck
Are "buscuits"?
( Cawl, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 15:00, Reply)

What you on about?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 15:15, Reply)

Nice
Soviet style editing of the past there.

Its to be applauded.

My housemate had just rang me from an aeroplane back from Japan to ask what I'm having for dinner tonight.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 15:17, Reply)

Bizquits.
Rock.

As does the panda.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 15:17, Reply)

What panda?
I'm hungry again. But it's only because I am massively bored.

Get my wii fit later though woot woot woot!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 15:33, Reply)

I'm going to
An abandoned mansion tonight.
( Cawl, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 15:36, Reply)

I'm going to
Abandon a mansion tonight.
(username1, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 15:46, Reply)

TGB
Fox's Bizquits advert has a panda. A Mobster style panda.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 15:47, Reply)

Oh yeah I recall now. Thanks ethel
Oh no. Another Kaol *rolls eyes*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 15:50, Reply)

We're multiplying
Soon everyone will be a Kaol.
(username1, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 15:54, Reply)

Damn
I forgot to create my fake Kaol account last week.

Honest.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 15:59, Reply)

I was the first one.
And clearly the best.

I've always wanted a clone-army though.
( Cawl, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 15:59, Reply)

Well I'm not
going to be one of your stupid clones. In fact I may start hunting them and eating them.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 16:03, Reply)

Hmmm...
I think we've just solved world hunger.
I'm irre-fucking-sistible.
( Cawl, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 16:05, Reply)

The Sam army
is far stronger and far better anyway!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 16:05, Reply)

Hunt me.
Eat me.
Drink me.
Beat me.
(Flid James carry on, mongs, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 16:08, Reply)

I dunno fake Kaol
I like your style. You may be spared.

Viva la Sam Army!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 16:15, Reply)

The sam army sounds interesting though
Can I be in both?
(username1, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 16:17, Reply)

Oi!
You filthy little defecting scum-bastard turncoat!

You'll join one, and one only. My one.
( Cawl, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 16:18, Reply)

You're less
likely to get stabbed in the sam army as well.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 16:23, Reply)

Real Kaol
Get rid of that full-stop in your sig.
It's annoying me.
( thealternativefact, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 16:25, Reply)

Which one?
*shrugs*
( Cawl, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 16:31, Reply)

Do you want your ticket or not?

( thealternativefact, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 16:33, Reply)

Ok...
Damn bribery!

I'm excited though!
I've been flexing my review muscles.
( Cawl, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 16:35, Reply)

What you seeing?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 16:44, Reply)

Fisting Firemen: 9
Watchmen
( Cawl, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 16:47, Reply)