It's International Frottage Day!
Let's dry-hump like it's 1999.


( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 8:02, 221 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Haha Noel
Have the thread-killer hat...

Anyone else around?
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 8:28, Reply)

Morning chaps
Not much activity hereabouts, is there?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 8:31, Reply)

Ning chaps
This place has been quiet for a couple of weeks now. I'm spending less time here and more time watching the Discovery Channel working but I don't mind, as I think I was getting a bit hooked :)

How're you?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 8:38, Reply)

Fine thanks No3l
A bit hard worked of late, hence my lack of time here, but OK.

Today should be quieter though. No meetings planned.

Meetings get on my tits.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 8:43, Reply)

My last two jobs have been blissfully meeting-free.
Although thanks to some great training in my youth I can do one of two things - keep a meeting on-topic and moving along nicely, or sleep with my eyes open.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 8:55, Reply)

Morning all
Do you want some of my meetings, K2? I have about 3 today, as well as some lectures and other things. Woot.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 8:55, Reply)

I spend a lot of time here
Because my work sucks, and they hardly ever give me anything to do!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:02, Reply)

Greetings you huggable bunch of love-balls
* hugs *

I thought I'd pop by and do a flying whore of my posts before I go to work.

www.b3ta.com/questions/god/post393445
www.b3ta.com/questions/god/post393446
www.b3ta.com/questions/god/post393447
www.b3ta.com/questions/god/post393448

Anyway, I'm making crumpets for breakfast. Anyone want one?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:12, Reply)

Morning all
I'm doing volume testing at the moment which consists of
a) set a thousand records to be processed;
b) start processing;
c) surf the internet for ten minutes;
d) confirm all records processed correctly;
e) vary slightly and repeat.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:14, Reply)

Another boring day at the office.
Wages is done. Emails are done. I've booked my hair appointment for Saturday. Chased up some wages software and printed fax forms for our salesman.

Got nuffing to do now : (
( girlinthehole, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:15, Reply)

@PoD
No thanks. I'll leave your meetings to you.

I'm currently skiving and reading about the finer points of how automatic gearboxes work, on the web.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:15, Reply)

Ghost town here today!
I spend too much time here because my work is dull and quiet and I need crazy internet people to keep me sane :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:18, Reply)

K2
Don't they work like a normal gearbox, except automatically?

Morning BGB, I see you've got a funpacked day like me then.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:20, Reply)

No they don't, Dok Minge
They use planetary gears for a start. I knew this already, but didn't know how the various valves and actuators controlled the shifting.

Not that I'd buy a car with an auto box - it's just technical curiosity.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:22, Reply)

Unfortunately I have plenty to do at work
so no b3tatime for me (and besides we don't have Internet on our work-machines). I do occasionally browse with my iPhone but find that once I start posting, I have a hard time getting off (oo er).

It seems that this week's religious discussions have addled my brain. I read "automatic gearboxes" as "agnostic gearboxes".
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:23, Reply)

When I pass my test
I'll be doing most of my driving in an automatic.

I knew that K2, I was just funning.

Well I've just remembered that I have to do something for somebodies birthday present. It won't take very long, but I really need to start on the hard part tonight.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:26, Reply)

I have to go to work now
so see you in the evening-thread.

Have fun with your semi-religious automobile-parts.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:28, Reply)

Right
So that's that done, now What are we chatting about?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:36, Reply)

Ooh this test has TWO thousand records
Zzzz...
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:36, Reply)

More time here
then Chains.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:39, Reply)

Lets talk about how crap o2 are
They have almost had my phone in to repair for a month :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:39, Reply)

When you say 'almost had your phone in', TGB
don't you mean, "they have had my phone in for repair for almost a month"?

I think that would be better, grammatically.

*ducks*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:42, Reply)

Yeah I thought that too
I've been off for 6 days my grammar drive isn't quite spooled up yet :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:44, Reply)

Badger
I have no problems with O2, but I've never had to send a phone in to be fixed.

Its that a bit like the FTL Drive?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:47, Reply)

Yeah
except you don't have to insert a key into me.

I think BSG should have ended about 5 minutes before it did. All that crap with them in Japan ruined it a little for me
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:49, Reply)

I have to agree
That dit just felt a little tacted on for my liking. Everything upto then was great.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:51, Reply)

Moooorning!
Nothing quite like a good yawn to make you feel even less inclined to work...
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:55, Reply)

I'm on O2
Never had to send a phone back though.
I need to figure out when I got this one so I can figure out when my contract is about up and shop around.
Edit: 725 / 2000 records processed so far!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:55, Reply)

K2
Nowt wrong with autoboxes. My stopgap car didn't have one, so I sold it and bought a different one with an auto.

Once you've owned one, you'll never go back.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:56, Reply)

Chains
if you are signed up to online billing you can see when your contract is up on there. Roll on April 26th! I've already seen a better deal from Vodafone so that's my starting point along with o2's shit customer service and making me pay an dextra 7squid a month for unlimited texts when pretty much every other provider has that as standard. Fuckers.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:57, Reply)

I know it's all very intellectual and all...
Well, compared to what I can deal with at this time in the morning...

But would anyone prefer to talk about boobies?

My head's just a bit too stuffed full of sense at the moment for me to have any space left for intelligent thought.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:59, Reply)

Mernin all :)
I think the man from UPS is stalking me..
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 9:59, Reply)

Psyche
Boobies are fantastic. I'm trying to grow my own pair, so I don't wear out Mrs Duck's.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:00, Reply)

Does he
keep asking you to hold his package?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:01, Reply)

Ooh what a coincidence
Mr Psyche is trying to grow his own too!

I think it's coz we live a long way away from each other (until September mwah ha ha ha haaah) and so h's growing his own so he doesn't feel so lonely when I'm not around!
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:02, Reply)

Heeee!
Badger ;) No, actually not. But apparently he's shown up monday and yesterday and got grumpy when I wasn't around both times. Which is just weird because I certainly didn't send for him..
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:02, Reply)

TGB
Naughty naughty!

What I'd do for a package to hold today...
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:03, Reply)

Good morning all
Would love to say everything here is done, but far from it... I've got to organise payments for 200+ artists this morning and I'm in need of motivation.

Humph!

BTW, does anyone recall the O/Ter who works for Vodafone?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:03, Reply)

Unlimited texts?!
I sent 5 last month.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:04, Reply)

Morning Psyche & Darras
How are things?

Boobies are great. Fact!

EDIT Morning PJM, don't pay them, give me the money.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:04, Reply)

Morning Dok!
Yes, yes they are.

And in a few weeks I'm going to be on a hen do with some incredible boobylicious girlies.

Had to lick my nipple for the last one... Yep, it is possible... and if you're in an office now you're all wanting to give it a go... bet you are...
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:07, Reply)

PMJ
Surely the motivation is that said 200+ artists might come break your legs if you don't? :)

Things are good thanks Dok. Been busy busy crazy here lately! My other arkivar colleague is skiing like crazy in Italy so I have the FULL work load. Erp! I just hope he doesn't break his skull like he did last time..
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:11, Reply)

Morning all
My phone is Orange, if it breaks they bring me a new one and swap it out for the broken one, a much better way of insurance replacements than having to send it off! Worth paying a bit more than O2 for I feel.

@ PJM - Lucy Van Pelt I think, although I haven't seen her on her for a while...

Edit: and also on the subject of repairs, I've just received my beloved Leatherman back from repair, after I sheared the blade locking button last week.

Four working days from sending it to receiving the repaired tool back, it's been cleaned and had all the blades sharpened, and best of all it was free under their 25 year no quibble warranty (I, or rather work, paid for the shipping there, they paid for the shipping back, seems fair enough). They didn't even ask for receipt or proof of purchase or anything. How's that for customer service?
(username1, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:12, Reply)

Boobies FTW!
I tried to grow my own but only got beer-pregnant.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:13, Reply)

TLIC
You probably didn't try for long enough...

After my sister got pregnant her boobies grew GINORMOUS.

So perhaps your beer boobies will grow after a few months of your beer pregnancy?
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:16, Reply)

@Psyche
Why lick your own nipples. Surely it's better if someone does it for you?
( girlinthehole, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:24, Reply)

BTW
I have discovered a new way of clearing my desk of filing...

Buy 100 card folders from staples (on work account of course) and file all the things that you can't find a home for in different card files. Leave card files in a neat pile at the side of your desk.

Although achieving nothing except the aesthetics of it, everyone (including yourself) will be conned into thinking you've been hard at work.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:24, Reply)

Well, of course...
But someone asked if I would, so I did...

As far as challenges go I do think I got away quite lightly on that occasion.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:26, Reply)

My phone slipped out of my pocket when I was standing up off the bog
it then glently plopped into the water, let out a mild green light and then died.


I dried it and it swithced on and the touch screen worked, but then I realised that the buttons don't work so I cant lock or unlock the screen or answer any calls.


And it smells a bit...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:26, Reply)

Leathermans for the win
My mate has a titanium one, which is pure gadget pron...

self-nipple lickage must be quite a skill, unfortunately as I'm a) a chap and b) not in posession of a double jointed neck I'll have to take your words for it.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:27, Reply)

My desk is
already full of hundreds of folders that I either have to scan or go through everything in and make sure what is in the folder is recorded on our system. Yup, exciting stuff *cries*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:28, Reply)

Self rimming

Now that'd be impressive... and a bit gross
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:28, Reply)

I think if everyone started licking their own nipples.....
The world would be a sad place indeed : (
( girlinthehole, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:29, Reply)

Mornin' all
How goes it?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:29, Reply)

Eeeuwww.
Not nice.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:30, Reply)

The titanium one is really nice, although I don't think they make it any more
Mine's a mid range one but still shits on Swiss Army knives (even the genuine ones; I've broken loads of those) and of course is far better than the legions of imitation ones. They're not cheap but they're worth every penny, I've had that five or six years and this is the first time I've broken it - and I certainly can't complain when they fix it that quickly!

I just tried to lick my nipples and I think I've cricked my neck. God I'm glad I have my own office.
(username1, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:31, Reply)

Psyche
Thanks for that, I want to lick bobbies now, but I have to wait till the weekend. :(

Yes Blousey it is better to get somebody else to do it.

No Darras you don't want them to break thier head-bone, that's for you to do.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:31, Reply)

BGB
Oh no, it was quite good fun...

Clearly if we had to because noone else was doing the licking then I have to agree.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:32, Reply)

You want to lick bobbies Dok?
As in coppers?

Whatever floats your boat... :P
(username1, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:34, Reply)

Dok...
I don't think you want to lick bobbies...


*giggles*

Just got this image of a man chasing the police down the street trying to lick their hats!
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:34, Reply)

Licking your own nipple
is better than licking your own ear I guess.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:35, Reply)

Damn my necrotic keyboard
I really must read before I post!

It was supposed to be boobies.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:35, Reply)

... and username1...
Coz I never followed the other thread through to find out who you were...

You just made my morning.

Yay for people trying to lick their nipples!
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:36, Reply)

Hello Ethelred...
Good morning. Yep. Tis.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:37, Reply)

Don't worry, nobody's guessed who I am yet ;)
I shall be known just as username1...

I reckon I could've done it if I had moobs, I have quite a long neck. Sadly I'm pretty flat chested though.
(username1, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:37, Reply)

It's a good job we didn't evolve from giraffes
Or civilisation would never even have got started.
(added to list of words my phone did not know: giraffes)
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:39, Reply)

Dok
If you'd have said 'boobies' instead of 'bobbies', the situation of getting it wrong could have been rationalised, but to mistype 'boobies' isn't a good sign!


Edit: Light in Chains: my phone knows random words like place names, but doesn't know stuff like 'hamper', very weird.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:40, Reply)

Username1 is just so...
...anonymous!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:40, Reply)

A brief tangental aside...
So I leave my job mid august to come down to Londonville and enjoy (sex more than once a month) living with the fella...

My boss's partner is an evil harpy who makes my once fabulous job incredibly shite.

She will be taking over running the place when I leave.

At what point do I start filing things randomly in all different places?
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:43, Reply)

Username is an unknown
I've given up thinking about who is really is.

Boobies, there I typed it right! This damn keyboard is so old the keystrokes sometimes don't register, and sometimes stick. It sucks really!

EDIT Start now Psyche, so long as you know where you put them. I've always found file 13 very usefull,
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:43, Reply)

OOOH numbers...
I hadn't thought of that...

And I still have another thirty empty files after this morning's desk clearance.

Why thank you very much. I'm now going to go have some tea and choccy biscuits. Peckish o'clock. Again.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:46, Reply)

Why do people care anyway?
Username may think he's being all mysterious and intriguing I think it's more like mundane and irritating.

But I don't like people who play games so there we go. Let's move on.

I almost just had a heart attack after knocking my plastic chattering teeth off my computer and them springing into life and knocking over my water. DAMN YOU TEETH
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:47, Reply)

Psyche
Filing should NEVER be done correctly, file it all wrong on principle!

On a related note, one of my hats where I work is as QC manager, at the moment I'm gearing up for our ISO 9001 audit (internal then external audits), and have just found a procedural document referring to 'filling' all the way through. For some reason the words 'Sales filling is the responsibility of administrative assistants' have made me giggle like a schoolgirl.

Edit: @ TGB I'm not trying to be mysterious and intriguing, I just fancied going back to anonymity really. Think of me as a new user if you want, I just told people that I was the second account of a regular so that you'd all know that I know you all. Or something.
(username1, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:47, Reply)

Badger
You have to watch out for those Chattering Teeth. But at least it's not Doc Teeth and the Electric Mayhem!

User, you giggled that way because you are a schoolgirl who likes filling.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:50, Reply)

Ethel
Often I'm surprised with words it does know, but others it was surprisingly ignorant of include caramel and cutlery.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:50, Reply)

You told people you were the second account
so people would wonder who you were. Thus surely voiding the whole pretence of you wanting to be annoymous. It's not like it's hard to get to know people on here you could have just said hi and chatted for a while ad we would have chatted back and then I wouldn't have to still see people wondering who you are. Also it doesn't even sound like you've actually met any of us so why does it matter?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:56, Reply)

TGB
shush. :-P
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 10:59, Reply)

Fuck off Ethel

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 11:03, Reply)

I'm with TGB
Just saying you'd lurked on OT for a while would have adequately explained any familiarity, and then six months down the line you could have said,"I used to post as..."
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 11:06, Reply)

Badger
Why let them bait you?

He He Badger Baiting, I made a pun, a bad one mind you.

Are you still coming to Edinbash?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 11:06, Reply)

I can be baited
with cider and chocolate.

And yup looking forward to Edinbash :D
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 11:08, Reply)

Howdy Y'all
how's everybody going?

/huggles everyone in the room.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Mar 2009, 11:09, Reply)

Morning VC
Incidentally is anyone going to the edinbash NOT doing it on the cheap? Anyone planning to fly up and stop over in a nice hotel rather than car share for ten hours and then sleep in a dormitory with 20 other drunk backpackers?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 11:16, Reply)

Chocolate!
I was greedy this morning and ate seven Walnut Whips!

I'm hoping to have your late birthday present by then.

Hi there Vampy, everything good?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 11:16, Reply)

Chains
That would be me that would be, except the flying bit, I'm going by train!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 11:17, Reply)

I can haz present? oooooh *excites*
Chains if I earned enough I'd have a nice weekend flying and staying in a 4* hotel but as I am massively poor it's driving and a travel lodge FTW
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 11:18, Reply)

Which Travel lodge Badger?
Yes you can haz przent!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 11:24, Reply)

Mmmmm
Nice long morning tea break.

Glad to see that things have moved on from boobies to drink... Bash implies drinking anyway...

And now I've sat back down at my desk I'm gonna do some serious work. Personal of course - got an interview for something important and london related (but I won't say more coz I don't want to jinx it - it that important) so I have LOTS of prep to do. Suffice to say the letter says the interview starts at 10am and should be finished by 3pm.

Thakies for a nice morning break and hope you all have a nice time at the edinbash thingywotsit!
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 11:24, Reply)

yup everything's good
being a geek as per usual, just got my marks back today for major papers in Psychology an Chemistry, 90% and 74% respectively.

oh and I got offered a second job today. *glees* moar monies!
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Mar 2009, 11:25, Reply)

It was just that all the edinbash discussion
Seems to be on the cheap end and I'm sure there's the full spectrum of wealth on here.
Dok, how much is the train - and how long will it take?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 11:28, Reply)

@LIC
I'm going by train and stopping in a fairly nice hotel.
( girlinthehole, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 11:29, Reply)

I don't know if
I want to tell you what travelodge you may stalk me!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 11:31, Reply)

Chains
About £110 and 4.5 hours.

EDIT Badger, Why would I stalk you? I was just wondering because I'm booked into a Travelodge as well.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 11:35, Reply)

I think
I'm in the Learmonth one. I'm too cheap to buy breakfast there though so I need to smuggle bread and cheese into my room. *buys big hat*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 11:38, Reply)

so
what's everybody been up to today?
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Mar 2009, 11:38, Reply)

Gratz on the results Vampy.
I've been upto sorting out Badgers birthday present.

OK Badger, I'm in the Haymarket one.

EDIT Both of which are within walking distance of the bash.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 11:40, Reply)

YAY present!
I'm debating what to do for lunch. May go to the farm shop *ponders*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 11:42, Reply)

Dok
I looked into flights earlier - about the same price but takes about an hour.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 11:44, Reply)

Now this
is the very definition of manning up

What a legend!
(username1, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 11:44, Reply)

User
fucking brilliant.

Thanks dok. /huggles
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Mar 2009, 11:47, Reply)

Chains
I don't like flying so I don't unless I have to.

Gods he did man the fuck up, brilliant!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 11:48, Reply)

Dunno where
I am going to park though. Don't think the lodge has a carpark but my tomtom has a carpark finder thing
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 11:49, Reply)

That's OK Vampy
You deserve it. *awesome hugs*

Yeah Badger, parking can be a bitch at that end of the town at times.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 11:50, Reply)

woo
and indeed yay.

I have chocolate.

Wish I was going to the edinbash :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Mar 2009, 12:02, Reply)

I've bookedmy
time off work woooooo!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 12:04, Reply)

I had chocolate
earlier, I'm going to have curry for lunch.

I may be sick later!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 12:04, Reply)

hmm
just realised I forgot to have lunch today.

meaning I haven't had anything to eat today except for toast, a tub of jelly and half a tube of pringles.

hmm. Now I'm hungry.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Mar 2009, 12:06, Reply)

For the Bash Badger?
I don't need to, my work is closed at that time.

Vampy, go eat something substantial, thats Doktors orders!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 12:10, Reply)

nah
can't be fucked. I'll eat something in the morning - I won't be able to sleep if I eat something now.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Mar 2009, 12:11, Reply)

For the days either side of the
weekend Thursday and Tuesday as we are coming back Tuesday and I just want Thursday off
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 12:12, Reply)

Vampy
Oh what it's like to be young, and can go without eating. I couldn't do that now.

I'm going up on the Thursday and coming back on the Tuesday. No holiday to be taken though, my work closes!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 12:19, Reply)

well it's mainly
cos I'm exhausted from school and work.
I'm off to beddy byes now. love you all.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Mar 2009, 12:24, Reply)

Noon all
I'm staying in a relatively posh hotel for the Edinbash. but then again, I am technically going to be on my honeymoon :)
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Mar 2009, 12:27, Reply)

Well that's probably allowed DG
When is the actual big day? Got much left to sort out or should I not ask? :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 12:28, Reply)

It's
2 weeks today!!!

And things are just about sorted out, ta. Really it's the reception party the following week that has some outstanding arrangements.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Mar 2009, 12:30, Reply)

Ooh
are you a tad bit excited there?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 12:31, Reply)

Remarkably calm actually
I was getting a bit stressed about some of the arrangements but they seem to have settled a bit now, so I'm just calm.

But I am looking forward to it! And I get to wear my fantastic new coat into the bargain!!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Mar 2009, 12:35, Reply)

Oh DG
You and your new coat.

two weeks, not long to go now, and you'll be a happily married man. :)
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 12:37, Reply)

It is a fine coat
Tourette's got her outfit all sorted? I'd say dress but I'm hopeing I can get married in pajamas or something because that would be so comfy *drifts off slightly*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 12:38, Reply)

I know
At Christmas it was like "oh, we've still got loads of time", then we realised we didn't have invitations sent out and it was a bit "fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkk!"
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Mar 2009, 12:39, Reply)

Yes she has
A red dress that I haven't seen but apparently my waistcoat and cravat are a perfect match for it.

None of this white virginal shite for my lass. Oh no.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Mar 2009, 12:42, Reply)

Mine must have got lost in the post DG
*cries quietly to self in corner*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 12:43, Reply)

But Badger
You'll be there on our honeymoon...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Mar 2009, 12:44, Reply)

yes
hiding in the wardrobe I shall look forward to that!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 12:46, Reply)

That is
Would be a sight to see Badger!

Well DG, it's all sorted now, or nearly is, so things will be just perfect on the day.

I'm looking forward to the pissupbash to celebrate!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 12:48, Reply)

Woo
Right I'm off back to work now as I've got so much to do before next Friday!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Mar 2009, 12:56, Reply)

I dunno
I wander in here after a few days absence and bork the fucking thread...

*dons fetching hat*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Mar 2009, 13:51, Reply)

An hour
that is an impressive bork
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 13:52, Reply)

Well
At least it's a fetching hat.

I get back from lunch and find that nothing at all happend!

Now that is unusual.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 13:54, Reply)

It's my best bork yet!
Weekend borks don't count as usually fuck all happens on here on a weekend.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Mar 2009, 13:56, Reply)

DG
It was a good one.

Show's you're still the master!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 13:58, Reply)

*Bows*
Thank you, Doktor.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:00, Reply)

*bows back*
You are most welcome.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:03, Reply)

Weekends don't count
Looks lieke it's just the three of us though!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:07, Reply)

Yeah
I wonder where everybody else got to?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:09, Reply)

Four.
I'm back.
And full of beautiful, burning rage.

Also:
www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1164579/ALLISON-PEARSON-Jade-Goody-Princess-Diana-common.html
( Cawl, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:11, Reply)

I'm here floating about and lurking.
*waves*
( girlinthehole, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:11, Reply)

I think
That Kaol constructed an army of evil robots who have killed everyone. It's a sad day

edit and look who it is!

And hello BGB!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:11, Reply)

An army of evil killer robots
And they killed everybody, well almost everybody.

Hi BGB & Kaol.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:19, Reply)

Dunno where the robots are.
Was in London this morning.
I think my client is in love with me.
He's a 50-year-old builder :(
( Cawl, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:20, Reply)

*points and laughs*
Kaol has a new boyfriend!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:22, Reply)

I had the afternoon off
so I have stopped at MegaTesco's on the way home and stocked up on booze and food and work shirts and stuff and now I am eating leftover pizza and posting in run-on sentences.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:23, Reply)

Run over what?
Aww Kaol that's so cute! He wants to be your sugar daddy
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:26, Reply)

Wow Chains
Your sentence is squashed, and made my eyes hurt.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:28, Reply)

I don't know.
It's all a bit wrong.
I think I'll give him the trainee.
( Cawl, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:31, Reply)

be sure to
lightly grease the trainee first.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:32, Reply)

I'm not touching her.
She might get the wrong idea.
And then it'd be awkward, spending all day sitting about 5 feet away from her.
( Cawl, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:34, Reply)

Well at least
your over minimum safe distance Kaol. Any closer could result in badness!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:36, Reply)

Didn't yo ualready
touch her face and freak her out?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:39, Reply)

Pffft!
I'm not interested, I've got a lovely lady of my own.
Plus I'm sure "Fucking someone you work with" is a Bad Thing.

EDIT: I did touch her face. But it was for medical reasons.
( Cawl, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:39, Reply)

Yes Kaol
It is a 'Bad Thing', and it causes awkward moments.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:43, Reply)

^This
*shames*
( girlinthehole, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:48, Reply)

AAAARRGH!
Don't you work with your family?
*mindbleach*
( Cawl, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:49, Reply)

Pfft!
Previous job silly.
( girlinthehole, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:04, Reply)

*hangs head*
It was in a moment of drunken weakness.

Aaaaaarrrrrgggggggg
I'd forgoten about that!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:49, Reply)

Ooooh...
Do tell!
( Cawl, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:43, Reply)

At the last place I worked
After a xmas party, didn't last long, and didn't end well!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:48, Reply)

share the details
it's a quiet afternoon I need entertaining
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:54, Reply)

Did you bang her on the photocopier?
Did you keep the print-outs?

Too much? Hahahaha! Naaaaaaaah...
( Cawl, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:57, Reply)

Nothing that sordid Kaol
We shagged for a couple of months, it finished badly. She got sacked for gross incompetence.

Badger, you're not the only one. The only noise here is me typing!

EDIT A secret mission Badger?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 14:59, Reply)

I'm sorry, but
"Finished badly" just makes me think of Retrograde Ejaculation.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retrograde_ejaculation
*shudders*
( Cawl, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:01, Reply)

*shudder*
No Kaol.

It finished with her screaming at me in the open plan office we worked in, I was at one end, she was at the other, hence her being sacked!

EDIT Why are you off Al?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:04, Reply)

I just gazzed you Al.
Hopefully that'll fill your day with sunshine.
( Cawl, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:06, Reply)

I can't tell you dok
then it wouldn't be a secret.

Hey Al *dances to amuse you*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:08, Reply)

Didn't want to know
I was just amused by it.

*shows moobs to Al*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:10, Reply)

hahaha
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/northern_ireland/7960997.stm
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:12, Reply)

If looking
at sweaty men will make you feel better Al then go for it!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:15, Reply)

OK Al
Go to the gym if it'll help Al.

I hope it's nothing too serious!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:18, Reply)

Al
likes sweaty grannies!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:20, Reply)

And
The fat birds!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:21, Reply)

Oh Al
You're such a charmer!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:24, Reply)

Nice.
*throws up a tiny bit*
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:24, Reply)

Wonder if you could power a TV
By putting 'em in nylon tracksuits and capturing the static generated.
( Cawl, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:25, Reply)

Kaol
You'd need to put the power through a converter, but I can't see why not.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:26, Reply)

You could power a tv
if you ground them up into meat and fed it to some giant carnivous hamsters running in a massive wheel
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:27, Reply)

When I go to the gym.
It's full of 5ft tall men pumping iron so that it will compensate for their short stature.
( girlinthehole, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:28, Reply)

Why not
feed them to badgers in a giant wheel?

So BGB you've a lot of short bloke in your area then.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:30, Reply)

Hey Al, have you got a case of the Mondays?
well man the fuck up, it's Wednesday
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:34, Reply)

@Her Dok
You would think so if you went to my gym.

Fuck knows where all the tall men into fitness are.
( girlinthehole, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:35, Reply)

Al
Badgers, not the Badger!

Hi Becky, how's it going?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:35, Reply)

BGB
There are no tall men, they all wear platform shoes!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:35, Reply)

For porn?
Shocking *pretends to be shocked*

I wouldn't run in a giant wheel I'd just complain and sulk because people weren't giving me enough attention
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:38, Reply)

Shut it Dok!
I don't wear platforms.

Also, it's after lunch on Wednesday.
We're over the hump.

EDIT: Hey ancrenne. What's up with the computer?
( Cawl, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:38, Reply)

Hi Miss crenne
*hugs*

What's up with the computer now?

EDIT Kaol, you're not a tall man though!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:41, Reply)

Bored at work
but I finish in 20 minutes, so I'm going for a stroll on Hampstead Heath
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:41, Reply)

Isn't Hamstead Heath where
people go cottaging?

Yo Ancrenne! Computers are evil, but without them I wouldn't get to talk to you guys...

*smashes computer into tiny litt
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:43, Reply)

That is one big
Ouchie Miss crenn.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:47, Reply)

yeah, but they only come out at night
so it's safe during the day.

Ancrenne, that sounds rather shit. Have you fixed it now?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:50, Reply)

Ancrenne
I'll take a hug, I've got a cock already thanks.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:51, Reply)

Ooh.
It's like a sudden ranty sweary cavalcade in here all of a sudden, minus the missus!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:57, Reply)

I do Al
I keep it in a box under my bed!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 15:59, Reply)

Going well.
Numbers confirmed for the reception, bands booked, actual day all paid for...

I'll tell her to get herself on here one night :)
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Mar 2009, 16:03, Reply)

It's not a rooster Al
It's an honest to god cock, It has balls and everything.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 16:05, Reply)

Yes!
The cock-soup shop!

They sell it in the market in Brixton.
Along with about a million types of fruit.
Some of which give you horrific stomach pains.
Think you need to cook 'em first.
( Cawl, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 16:11, Reply)

Cock Soup!
*shudders*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 16:12, Reply)

Bye, lady ancrenne
and it's goodbye from me too as I have a funding meeting to go to.

See ya!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Mar 2009, 16:19, Reply)

Goodbyeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
To everyone that was leaving. I'm copying some files from the shared drive to my personal drive to make it easier for me to burn discs and it's taking forever :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 16:27, Reply)

Hello everyone
I hope you've all had a smashing day.

Mine was good, I skived off lots of work and there was sunshine.

Now I want an ice cream and a donkey ride.

EDIT: Just realised how disturbing the 'donkey ride' sounds.
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 16:27, Reply)

Ice cream would be awesome!
I'd settle for a milkshake though.
( Cawl, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 16:28, Reply)

No!
Never settle!
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 16:29, Reply)

hahahhaa
Word of the day: Clackerbags
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 16:29, Reply)

Pfffft!
That's great!

NO COMPROMISE!
ICE CREAM OR DEATH!
( Cawl, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 16:31, Reply)

Hmm...
Clackerbags is a smashing word, but what does it mean (if it is rude, try to go into as much detail as possible).

To me it seems to be the slaping sound a gentlemans balls may make when going like the proverbial freight train on his good lady wife. Or her sister.
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 16:33, Reply)

I reckon it means
Nutsack.
( Cawl, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 16:35, Reply)

No...
I did just google "rectal prolapse".
Images.
Safe-search off.
( Cawl, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 16:39, Reply)

That's got danger written all over it.
Danger and poop.
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 16:40, Reply)

Good luck darling!
Don't forget to take camera-phone pictures in the shower!
( Cawl, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 16:41, Reply)

Points to everyone who said balls
More specifically old man balls what hang lower and are dryer and therefore have more of a clacker sound than young balls whick are more of a slap sound
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 16:44, Reply)

Oh.
Er...
Ok.
( Cawl, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 17:00, Reply)

haha
If I freaked Kaol out then WIN!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 17:03, Reply)

I'll pass.
I have no interest in any balls but my own.

EDIT: And cannon balls.

EDIT 2: Oooh, and the little ones that come out of shotgun shells, fast.

EDIT 3: And mint imperials.

EDIT 4: And oranges.
( Cawl, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 17:04, Reply)

Yes Badger
You freaked Kaol out. That's what happened there. Mm-hm.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 17:06, Reply)

I liked those
little balls you get in ink cartridges
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 17:07, Reply)

If I was dumb enough to play the lottery
those balls would be interesting.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 17:08, Reply)