So while the QOTW has been rather lame recently, there are still some posters I always look out for
because they always have entertaining stories. Who are the people you look out for and why?

This is NOT a popularity contest, because if you actually met the person involved you'd want to puke down their throat and skewer their eyeballs for all of their QOTW LIES.

Mine are
Spankyhanky
himjim
Kaol
Pooflake
Rachelswipe
PJM
Chickenlady
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:23, 82 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

similar list to yours
I like Moey and Mon bison too.

I've actually tended to skim over spanky's posts recently....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:24, Reply)

Likewise
Occasional nuggets, but recently seems to be quantity over quality.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:33, Reply)

I resent this
I haven't posted for ages, and when I do it's always the same joke, or badly written porn.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:25, Reply)

Sorry, I'll take you off the list and add a lesser poster who also hasn't written anything in ages

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:28, Reply)

Sick burn...

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:29, Reply)

You love it

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:30, Reply)

I didn't mean you had to take my name down!
I never get mentioned on these sorts of posts. I was quite pleased, I was only joking.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:37, Reply)

Pfft too late

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:45, Reply)

To Be Honest...
I can now see an Apeloverage or Spanky post coming a mile away (fnarr), so if I'm not in the mood, I'll just skip them for later.

Probably my favourite poster is workboresme, not for any particular reason. I like her style of writing, and her stories never fail to make me smile.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:26, Reply)

.
I’d add Rakky to the list – always a good read.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:27, Reply)

Good call!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:28, Reply)

I don't tend to read /qotw
edit: I generally don't like spanky hanky's posts.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:28, Reply)

I thought the first few were funny
but although they are still amusing, I can't be bothered to trawl through that much writing.

Also, many of them are clearly lies. Which is shocking.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:29, Reply)

he likes his line breaks too,
bit to much *insert bodily function* *insert innapropriate situation* *insert various witnesses*
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:31, Reply)

Cr3 was saying on Saturday that he might install a word limit
that'd be awesome for most of the stuff that's on there
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:33, Reply)

He was drunk with power,
he'd never do it can you imagine the backlash he'd get on gaz?

Would be nice though.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:36, Reply)

A word limit?...
Nooooooooo!

I am utterly incapable of spaffing a post unless it is the length of the QE2...towing an oil tanker.

In the handful of occasions when I have 'done a small one', I've mostly given it to Mr Twisty Cheeky, but even his are starting to push maximum density.

Look at me - I can't even keep this reply short. FFS!

*cries*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:06, Reply)

I just read the lot
No real people I look out for. Some people I can spot a mile off, but that's about it.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:29, Reply)

I always
look out for "I have run out of coke". He's hilarious! And never fails to brighten up my day. I think hes frickin AWESOME. Its also quite remarkable that despite being quite a famous quadriplegic, that people actually genuinely like him, for his wit, warmth and intelligence. Not just the scabby, gangrenous stumps that dangle limply from his withered, and bedsore-ridden torso. Anyone who can type that fast, just by using finely directed jets of nasal mucus gets my vote. Vote Coke.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:29, Reply)

I do actually like your stories
you don't post often enough though
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:31, Reply)

yes
I win. I have an internet fan. I dont however, have enough snot to write all the time. I shall immediately start saving.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:48, Reply)

I miss Frank's stories

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:30, Reply)

yeah
and stusut
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:32, Reply)

Stusut
is a legend.

I love going through old QOTW.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:41, Reply)

I haven't seen anything of FrankSpencer for ages.
Is he still around?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:31, Reply)

I think he got a job where b3ta is banned.
either that or he's someone else now
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:31, Reply)

Frank = Spanky?
A reincarnation, perhaps.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:32, Reply)

No way.
Frank made me laugh.
( Cawl, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:36, Reply)

Haha
Harsh but fair.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:38, Reply)

Heh.
Had to be done.
( Cawl, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:39, Reply)

You have a point
Spanky is like the perverted version of me. Long and not particularly funny any more.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:44, Reply)

Think he has
to actually work at work instead of amusing us. Which is outrageous.

I would say I like reading Poof's stories too but I worry if his ego gets any bigger from us all saying how much we love him he will explode in a shower of strongbow. Probably all over Captain Placid. Then he'd have to spend ages picking pooflakes out his beard.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:33, Reply)

The Goat
I love his little tales of global conspiracy and corruption.

He makes me chuckle.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:37, Reply)

I can't believe he got banned
he was hilarious, I used to really enjoy baiting him, he got SO angry.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:43, Reply)

I could happily spend all day reading an Enzyme-Goat argument
it is indeed a shame
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:45, Reply)

I miss the goat :(

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:46, Reply)

*glees*
Archie was pretty remorseless in taking on the Goat, too.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:01, Reply)

He got banned?
Perma ban?

Shame, I loved reading his mental rants.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:48, Reply)

got banned from 2 or 3 accounts
from what I hear

not sure what camel that broke the straw's back was
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:51, Reply)

Spanky Hanky and Poohflake are the ones
who make me work so hard to control my laughing out loud at work that sometimes I feel like I have pulled a muscle. I hope they don't slow down any on their posting.

Vamprycat and Big Girls Blouse have nice posts, generally less funny but still ones I like to read.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:47, Reply)

I tend to attract the Americans on here.
I can't think why. *grin*
( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:41, Reply)

CharlesCalthrop
Is the master. Like reading William Burroughs.

Chart Cat still has the best ever QOTW post for the unexpected ingestion during a 3-some (http://www.b3ta.com/questions/sexualmisconceptions/post258292). Not something I'll ever be able to forget.
( I_Was_Mordred, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:49, Reply)

OMG I forgot chart cat
I ADORE chart cat
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:51, Reply)

*waves*
*blushes*


*mans the fuck up*
( chart cat has an itch, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:52, Reply)

that was revolting
and I'm not pleased you reminded me of it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:51, Reply)

Apologies
but although there has been worse posted on here, it's the fact that it seems like a true story that makes it all the worse...
( I_Was_Mordred, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:56, Reply)

you are right
makes me shudder
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:01, Reply)

With very, very few exceptions
...everything I post on b3ta is at least 95% true (5% reserved for artistic license and swearing)

That's why I don't post too often, I'm far too dull to have enough material to post every week.
( chart cat has an itch, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:55, Reply)

That post
Is the only QOTW post to make me boke.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:01, Reply)

Yeah that chart cat post is brilliant
And I agree with you on Charles Calthrop. His "I watched my mate bum my other mate IN THE ARSE" post is a work of literary genius.
(oball needs Satan more than he needs me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:36, Reply)

The Stig.
I miss his hilarious anecdotes.
( Cawl, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:50, Reply)

dear god
he was so dull

and insecure
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:51, Reply)

ha ha

( thealternativefact, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:52, Reply)

He was just misunderstood
he was a lovely, lovely chap, with an excellent opinion on first names and facial hair.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:52, Reply)

it frequently amused me
how he would get worked up about beards and tattoos.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:53, Reply)

It's strange
I represent everything he apparently hates, yet he actually gazzed me to try and "make everything okay" at one point.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:54, Reply)

I think he did that a lot
fucking tool. I had a few gazzes from him asking what he had done to upset me and how to make it right.

I had merely decided to wind him up one day

here's the message in fact:
Erm....
....have I done something to you? You seem to be awfully rude to me.

further edit: the rest of the conversation is fairly amusing too
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:57, Reply)

..the rest of the conversation is fairly amusing too
Unlike your dull as shit post
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:00, Reply)

Hahaha!
Fight!
( Cawl, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:05, Reply)

I apologise
I'll stop posting to pave the way for your shining paragons of wit and eloquence.

twat
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:05, Reply)

It you wouldn't mind.
I estimate you stopping posting will make the internet 8.3% more exciting
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:10, Reply)

If you were to close your legs
I estimate there would be 17.3% more sunlight reflected back from the planet rather than being absorbed by your vadge.

This would single handedly reverse global warming.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:13, Reply)

HAHAHAHAHA oh Al you slay me with your witty comments.
Give me a call if you ever actually manage to come up with anything vaguely original
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:19, Reply)

Hmmm...
We should've tattooed a beard onto him.
( Cawl, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:54, Reply)

I did agree
with him that all people called Alex are cunts of the highest order.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:55, Reply)

Not true
I have a good geeky friend called Alex. Maybe it's only the ones who post on b3ta who are cunts?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:56, Reply)

Well everyone
who posts on b3ta is a cunt
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:58, Reply)

is a has a massive

+ as long as the are named after both an animal and the way words are correctly used.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:00, Reply)

*yawns*
New balls please.
( Cawl, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:01, Reply)

Hahaha!
Dear me, irony on the internet!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:00, Reply)

Devil In Tights
OK, he doesn't post much any more, but all of his stories are made of the most excellent kinds of Win.

I also hear he's a rather rakish chap.
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:57, Reply)

you're not fooling anyone

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:59, Reply)

Actually,
To be fair, he used to be my very favourite poster.
Honest truth.
I miss his posts.

I think Kaol's my new favourite, he's awesome.
I mean, check this piece of genius out:
b3ta.com/questions/unexpectednudity/post435955
( Cawl, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:00, Reply)

I rather enjoy Devil_in_Tights'
Edit: beat me to it,Slip.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:58, Reply)

I enjoy slipping him a length

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:59, Reply)

I'm sure you do.
But does he enjoy it too?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:00, Reply)

Bet your arse he does
while he's fucking it of course
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:01, Reply)

how could he not?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:03, Reply)

OMG!
Pandering on the internet!

*ahem*

Erm, haven't really thought about it much. There are a lot of quality writers on here, with different styles and strengths.

But I do miss the Enzyme/Goat battles though.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:25, Reply)

JMG's posts on qotw always have me in stitches.
OK, it's the same post over and over again but hey! you can't get too much of a good thing can you?




*sarcasms*
( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:45, Reply)

Hmm, yeah
His best of QOTW on his profile is nearly all the same story about beating up Mr T. What a card.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:47, Reply)

A few who haven't had a mention
but definitely deserve one:

Che Grimsdale
powervator
CHCB
TRL
Legless
Rotimer (a new favourite)
Scaryduck

and lots more, but it's late here and time for bed.

Various other regulars already know how much I want to bum them in the ladycock or suck off their stinking fuckminges. Pandering would be wasted on that lot.
( chart cat has an itch, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 17:05, Reply)