The random acts of kindness thread
Use this thread to say something nice about another b3tan - preferably one who you hardly know or don't know at all.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:20, 133 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

.
I'd like to wish Land of Green Ginger a belated happy birthday, and hope that he manages to unleash his interesting-ness and overcome his social awkwardness.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:20, Reply)

In other words,
you're saying he's currently boring and autistic?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:22, Reply)

I thought they were a girl

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:23, Reply)

In other words
he's saying she's currently boring and autistic and butch?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:24, Reply)

Half right

(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:38, Reply)

So only partially boring and autistic?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:53, Reply)

It would be:
'He’s always boring and autistic and cowardly'.

I saw a man pissing in the street last night at about 9.00 in a nice residential area. Disgusting. I didn't even say anything, I just tutted.
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 10:02, Reply)

Thank you
by the way
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:45, Reply)

TGB's got a great rack.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:22, Reply)

This is as good a place as any to announce this
After much consideration last night it has become clear to me that I wish to plough TGB.
( Captain V, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:26, Reply)

Hahahaha!
I knew my plan would work.
( Cawl, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:27, Reply)

Additionally
I've decided I must get a bowler hat to go with my suit so that I can be a better class of zombie.
( Captain V, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:29, Reply)

yes
people should wear more hats
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:30, Reply)

This is an excellent idea.

( Cawl, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:34, Reply)

More of this
Hat-wearing should be rife. Proper hats, not baseball caps or benny hats.
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:39, Reply)

What's a
"Benny Hat"?
( Cawl, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:40, Reply)

Clearly it's slang for Bowler hat
Derived from the name of the cartoon character Mr Benn.
( Captain V, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:45, Reply)

Google
Benny Crossroads hat in images.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:45, Reply)

^^what he said

(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:46, Reply)

Oh dear :\
That's a shame, that is.
( Cawl, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:48, Reply)

You like
benny hats?
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:50, Reply)

I do not.
I like proper hats.
I have a green fedora.
It's all kinds of awesome.
( Cawl, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:52, Reply)

Ah, then we're agreed
I myself have a Chester trilby, but rarely wear it because people look at you as though you're making some sort of statement. Wearing a hat in these times makes you less of a person, you become 'that man in the hat'. I want more people to wear hats so that it becomes a perfectly normal and acceptable thing to do. And also because hats are ACE.
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:59, Reply)

I concur

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 10:01, Reply)

I have one of those hats
That has the furry earflaps that can be fastened up over the top, as popularised by Dave Lister on Red Dwarf.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 10:41, Reply)

I have
about fifty hats. I made most of them. I also have a fedora, and a flappy Russian deerstalker thing. I have pictures too.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 11:30, Reply)

I WANT TO SEE
PICTURES OF YOUR FLAPS
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 15:35, Reply)

Sure?
OK: my flaps
And for good measure, here's the dog wearing my flaps too.
Both pics taken a looong time ago.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:01, Reply)

I wore hats to my oxford interviews
A tam-o-shanter and a purple felt one with a big black flower.

I was known as the Disgusting-Jokes Mad Hat-Girl.
And I lost my voice too. It was WELL fun.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 11:48, Reply)

I'm a bit lost, but
Erm, good for you!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:28, Reply)

Apparently Kaol is trying to get me and TGB to fall in love
I only found out about this last night. Apparently both Kaol and TGB thought they'd already told me.
( Captain V, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:30, Reply)

Isn't TGB with Bill?
or have I missed something?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:32, Reply)

Old news becky
you're so not down with the kids.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:54, Reply)

I know, I feel deep shame at this

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:55, Reply)

Get with the programme
Bill's with cackers.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 10:17, Reply)

Isn't Cackers in the wrong country
god I'm so out of the loop
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 10:45, Reply)

Lovely.
Is it working? It must be. 'Plough' is such a thoughtful word.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:32, Reply)

that's actually
very romantic, in a Taming of the Shrew type plot setting (note: not indicating that either you or TGB = Shrew).
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:34, Reply)

I guess I'm abuot as tall as a shrew

( Captain V, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:39, Reply)

Do you eat your own weight
In worms, every day?
( Cawl, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:41, Reply)

Yes

( Captain V, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:45, Reply)

Oh.
I KNEW I shouldn't have kissed you.
( Cawl, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:54, Reply)

Hey, you promised you'd lick him for me

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:55, Reply)

...
Lick him for me
(beckyjsbx bananas are the devil's dildos. Mr K eats them, Tue 9 Jun)

Maybe.
I've gotta drive though, so I won't be drinking.
(Mr. K. is now 93.2% less likely to get you arrested, Tue 9 Jun)
( Cawl, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:58, Reply)

Oh like you need to be drunk to lick someone

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 10:00, Reply)

what a phrase!
fantastic
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:29, Reply)

It's a reference to Spinal Tap:
"Ploughing your beanfield".
( Cawl, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:32, Reply)

Poking your hay.


Sex Farm Woman! I wanna hoe you down, Sex Farm Woman!
(Bazongaloid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:54, Reply)

That cheese guy made me laugh yesterday,

(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:24, Reply)

Kaol
Is both amazing, and fantastic.
( Cawl, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:25, Reply)

B3tans, in general*
are a good and earthing bunch. If, Heaven forfend, I happen to be "going off on one" then B3tans will bring me down to earth and remind me in no uncertain terms that there's a lot to be grateful for in the world. B3ta being one of them.

When I've had a need to share, B3tans have read my mewling and - even though I've subsequently deleted some of my more personal posts - getting (as Mike Skinner said) "the shit in my head" out to a mostly anonymous, global audience is a joy in itself and for that, all of you, THANK YOU.

* all generalisations are dangerous, including this one.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:25, Reply)

hot tip
don't quote the guy from the Streets ;-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:26, Reply)

what about generalisation of soft margin algorithms?
No harm in that
(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:32, Reply)

I'd like to celebrate the black humour and cynicism
mainly from some of the female b3tans such as CHCB, beckyletters and more recently PsychoChomp.

keeps me thoroughly entertained.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:28, Reply)

Seconded.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:29, Reply)

...
I chose not to choose life.
I chose KFC.
( Cawl, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:30, Reply)

I'm sorry
all we have left is UNTIMELY DEATH!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:31, Reply)

But Chompy's a boy now
Oh can't be arsed
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:31, Reply)

I don't care

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:33, Reply)

you can't even control your own lies.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:36, Reply)

Dude, I was doing you a favour
everyone knows you're a transsexual midget really
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:42, Reply)

That one wont stick because no one wants to believe that I'm a transexual midget,
except for AL.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:46, Reply)

Al would

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:47, Reply)

Transexual Midget, eh...?

( Cawl, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:47, Reply)

Garnering more interest now aren't you Chompy

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:48, Reply)

these fucking freaks make me sick

(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:49, Reply)

And yet you keep coming back for more
and sign yourself up for bashes
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:51, Reply)

I'm only going because you owe me a pint.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:52, Reply)

Oh yeah, forgot about that.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:53, Reply)

What about white humour? eh?
It's racists like you that got the country into this mess.
( Captain V, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:32, Reply)

The BNP
Aren't that bad if you ignore the racism.
( Cawl, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:33, Reply)

how about the whinginess?
"I'm telling! The other parties are ganging up on us!"

fucking knobs. They deserve to be put in a rusty iron maiden
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:34, Reply)

Shoes?

( Cawl, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:35, Reply)

Ta.
Though nothing says you care like cold hard cash.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:43, Reply)

what?
cash that's been in the freezer?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:50, Reply)

Are you trying to say that you don't normally keep your cash there?
Strange man.
( Captain V, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:56, Reply)

I don't use money
I barter for everything
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:57, Reply)

tragically
that renders your pandering meaningless.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 10:00, Reply)

you don't know what I have to offer
;-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 10:01, Reply)

lay it on the table,
then we'll talk.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 10:32, Reply)

I am here to celebrate the glory of The Light in Chains

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:33, Reply)

Are you a physics person?

( Cawl, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:33, Reply)

I am a person person

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:36, Reply)

Oh.
Then you won't be able to answer my question.
I was hoping you were a physics person.
Disappointed. Again.
( Cawl, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:37, Reply)

MOT on /talk is,
he'll probably tell you to fuck off.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:38, Reply)

I'm a physics person
What can I do you for?

Edit: Ah, never mind, I see you've had your question answered. I should probably read these threads all the way through before trundling in halfway down.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:41, Reply)

I knew it was one of the two of you.
Your usernames both look similar though :\
( Cawl, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:43, Reply)

Yeah, we're both "The"-something-something b3tans
Like all the "The" bands that the NME seem to read so much into. Is a band's name better with a "The" on the front? Is it better without? Does anybody who actually lives a vaguely meaningful live give the remotest shard of a shit? Fuck me, I hate the NME. _{Not least because they seem to inspire most of my male students to behave and dress like a bunch of complete fucking ponces...}

Oh, and just to confuse you further: The Oscillating Gibbon is a chemistry chap.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:45, Reply)

NME:
Increasing poncy-ness since 1952.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:48, Reply)

Kinda that...
More that most of the time I read by shape :p
Starts with "The".
Is about |-----------------------| that long.
( Cawl, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:50, Reply)

"Is about |-----------------------| that long."
HOW DO YOU KNOW?!?!?!?!?!

Oh, wait, you meant my name...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:53, Reply)

I've only just realised your name is crow.
I've been reading it for weeks as the Supreme Cow
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:55, Reply)

/checks self for udders
...would you prefer me as a cow?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:56, Reply)

Only if you trample David Blunkett

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:59, Reply)

And get the job done this time

( Captain V, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 10:01, Reply)

Hmm...
Might be easier to remain a crow. Then I can peck out his eyes. He won't be needing them any time soon...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 10:02, Reply)

What would be the point then?
Surely you'd be better off pecking out something that he needs... like his heart!


Edit: Actually, he probably wouldn't even miss it.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 10:08, Reply)

Good point.
And I'm sure heart tastes nicer than eyeball.

Could peck the eyeballs out of Nick Griffin, though - the only way to ensure that his "Now-with-100%-less-racism" party is truly colour-blind...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 10:17, Reply)

I may have missed it
but have we gotten to the bottom yet of how Mr Blunkett knew it was a cow and not a bull?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 10:23, Reply)

Because his dog told him
No...wait, that's silly. He must have groped the animal.

(Well, it was his birthday)
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 10:26, Reply)

Groped as in
Kimberley Quinn?!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 10:47, Reply)

I don't want to be known as...
one of the "The (something something) b3tans!!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:53, Reply)

Don't worry,
Looks like we'll be known as one the "The+about |-----------------------| that long" b3tans.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:55, Reply)

I've been forced to add a disclaimer to my sig :(

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:57, Reply)

Sorry,
In my head the two of you are one.
( Cawl, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:55, Reply)

Kinky...

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:56, Reply)

You can't just keep asking everybody that until you find somebody that is
Use the internets man!

curious.astro.cornell.edu/question.php?number=205
setiathome.berkeley.edu/forum_thread.php?id=33754

:p
( Captain V, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:38, Reply)

YES!
I was right after all!
( Cawl, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:39, Reply)

I don't remember you suggesting that at all
!
( Captain V, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:43, Reply)

I made some comment
About "disks, like how the galaxy is", and waved my hands around.
I knew what I meant, and that was it.
( Cawl, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:47, Reply)

Hmmm
You sounded like you were talking about something else to me. Besides, waving your hands around and mumbling something vaguely related sounds an awful lot like the MAKING SCIENCE UP that Clendrix so often accuses you of!

Next you'll be telling me that all our maps are upside down...
( Captain V, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:51, Reply)

I'd wondered about that before
but never when I was near a computer, or with someone with whom it could be discussed.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:52, Reply)

For some reason it came up last night
But I've no idea why.

Woodpeckers with an octopus' tentacles instead of the lower half of it's body came up too. I'd love a good drawing of one of those!
( Captain V, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:58, Reply)

that'd be a quality animal
can you image being attacked by an octopus that could peck you hard and fast enough to make a hole in wood?

that'd be savage.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 10:02, Reply)

It'd look vaguely like a flying jellyfish too
If only I were a genetic engineer :(
( Captain V, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 10:04, Reply)

I am pretty glorious, aren't I?
I suppose I should find something nice to say about one of you primates now.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 11:00, Reply)

SpikeyPickle
For being the first person to friend me on here, and also for promising me a castle in Finland.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:50, Reply)

Wasn't he the BNP supporter?
I think he was, I would view that "castle in finland" he promised you should be viewed with suspicion.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:52, Reply)

Well, what else could it mean?

Meh, I still think he's a nice guy.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:53, Reply)

I was making a holocaust joke,
but yes he's a nice guy and when we pointed out how shit the BNP was he said he'd change his political alliegence. Not many people would do or admit that so you've got to respect him for that.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:56, Reply)

Oh right.

And that too.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:58, Reply)

Does that not merely make him very suggestible and spineless?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 10:01, Reply)

I would say open minded,

(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 10:06, Reply)

You would
I like the guy though. He can't help being weak minded ,)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 10:08, Reply)

And there's something to be said
for having pliable underlingsfriends.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 11:04, Reply)

'Cellar in Doncaster'

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:54, Reply)

I'd be careful there...
I've actually met the guy perve.

Nah, he's ok!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 10:06, Reply)

I'd quite like a random axe of kindness
The world would be a kinder place after some chopping.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:51, Reply)

Well, based on the fact that I don't actually know any of you
But really enjoy your posts, this could be a long list. A select few would be:
Spanky for brightening up my day with his posts of various activities, often involving bodily fluids.
Vampyrecat for being a seemingly innocent girl who just loves fluff and cake.re
Al for being the self deprecating grump that he sometimes is.

And lots of others for brightening up my day.
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 10:06, Reply)

ahaha you're gorgeous you are.
/snorts.
"Innocent".

/gives love and fluff and cuddles and cakes.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 11:56, Reply)

Nobody in particular
Thankyou all for being great and providing me with laughs every day.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 10:09, Reply)

I'd like to say
that despite your obvious emotional problems, you manage to act like a decent human being more than half the time and frankly that's an achievement.

What do you mean, I have to say who I'm talking about?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 11:07, Reply)

I think you're all a bunch of tossers
*mwah*

*mwah*

Love you really darlings!


*lies*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:54, Reply)