There has been a lot of ill feeling and general grumpiness on this board of late
I feel we could do more to gee things up and bring a bit more sparkle and fabulousness into peoples lives.

To this end, I would like to proposed that after completing our regular Anal Friday ablutions (you are all still remembering to do that aren't you?) we discuss something that made you happy in the last week.

For example. This morning, I left the house early and went to the sorting office to collect something and it turned out to be my AC/DC tickets. Then I went to Tesco and bought an inordinatly large amount of bacon and some other meats before heading to Wickes to exchange some work trousers which I had bought the previous week and discovered to be to large. That's large along the leg, not around the middle. I already new I was a chubby thunderguts when I bought them, but I was unaware that I am in fact a shortarse chubby thunderguts. Then I headed to work where I found my office nice and clean and tidy since I had hoovered, mopped and dusted last Friday night, which was the last time I was in here. This made me pleased so I put a new bin bag in, opened the roller door and parked my car inside with a view to hoovering it out once I've unloaded all the gear which is stored in the boot. I turned on my computer and checked my e-mails and nothing urgent had happened since last night so I did a bit of admin work and logged on to b3ta to discover that no-one had messaged me and that the board looked pretty slow.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:56, 152 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Now I think we can probably all agree
that what I wrote there was really fucking dull and of no interest to read.

So lets all take that on board before we start posting today shall we?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 8:57, Reply)

Shut your dirt-hole,
Mr. Boring.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:01, Reply)

Easy Geeze
I'm happy that it made you happy, and at the end of the day, that's what counts, isn't it?.... my happyness.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:06, Reply)

I'm happy!
Because I'm off to see Transformers 2 tonight, woo!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:00, Reply)

Oh that's not fair
I'm all jealous now.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:02, Reply)

Maybe me and you can go, and it'll be better than when he sees it.
We'll get a few lines in first, and a bottle of champaign, then get some whores to keep us company while watching it, and then afterwards hit a casino and get complimentary drinks'n'sherberts, then dump the whores and hit a club, then boogie our way into the V.I.P Lounge and then shag some footballer's wifes infront of the footballers, then beat up the whole of [insert rival football team], then go home... exorsted, yet, contented.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:14, Reply)

Only if we can tell the internet afterwards
they'll never believe it, but I don't care.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:16, Reply)

Ok, it's a deal, but we had best pre-book the Transformers tickets, we wouldn't want them sold out.
That would put a right downer on the whole thing.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:18, Reply)

I'm happy
Going for a curry, then to see my girlfriend! I can only see one downside, which is I have to get a 1am coach and will probably get a fat german elbowing me all night again.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:01, Reply)

Some people would pay good money for that.

( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:02, Reply)

I'd pay
if it was you elbowing me.

But only if by elbowing you mean gently stroking, and by me you mean the tip of your penis against a gazelle.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:04, Reply)

No.
Not again.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:11, Reply)

The last time I paid money for that
I was in leather and smeared with a goodly amount of baby oil, the dotted with bratwurst.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:05, Reply)

sparkle and fabulousness
Well that's kinda not really possible as I've just found out that my brother-in-law is in hospital after having just had 3/4 of a lung removed.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:04, Reply)

I'm going to AC/DC too , mate
Doors open: 4pm??? Eh????

Surely no point in turning up til much later - or am I wrong?

Do you know who's supporting?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:05, Reply)

I know The Answer
will be playing, but I'm kind of hoping that there will be more, otherwise a 4pm start seems very silly.

I suspect they will start earlier than in an arena gig as I reckon there will be a 10.30 curfew since it's open air and all.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:06, Reply)

Ooooh,
I saw The Answer last weekend again.
Good stuff.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:08, Reply)

10.30 is far too late. You'll not be able to pay attention the following day. I suggest leaving the venue earlier, beating the crowds and getting a decent nights sleep. And dont stand too close to the speakers or you will damage your hearing.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:09, Reply)

I thought I would go along at 4, soak up the atmosphere
and leave once the support band starts so I don't have to listen to that awful racket.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:15, Reply)

I see no need to enter the venue. You may catch swine flu. Surely circling the place at a safe distance (shall we say 80 metres) will suffice.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:20, Reply)

Swine Flu?
Are you sure?
Are you sure?
Are you sure?
( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:23, Reply)

A nasty cold anyway, which is similar.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:26, Reply)

Ah, I see.
I've got hayfever today.
Can that disease kill me?
( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:27, Reply)

No
only a steak through the heart can kill you
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:28, Reply)

Steak through the heart?
And you're to blame.
You give love a bad name.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:38, Reply)

love massive vaginas
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:40, Reply)

Steak through the heart?
That sounds like a euphemism for a blotto'd "me" trying to penetrate a menstruating girl with my soft-cock.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:57, Reply)

If you have other allergies then it could morph and become a super allergy. You cant be too careful. I suggest isolation is not only a sensible precaution but also a moral obligation. And we all know these viruses spread via the internet so turn off your PC for at least a week.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:32, Reply)

You bastard

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:46, Reply)

What?

( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:48, Reply)

I know what you did there
Don't you think I didn't notice!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:51, Reply)

I'm amazing.

( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:55, Reply)

amazing
a sex-pest
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:00, Reply)

Did you get it?
Did you get it?


Are you sure you got it?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:55, Reply)

How fucking dare you
Seriously? I work in an office within the fine food industry O.K.? So I think I'm pretty fucking qualified to tell you if I got it or not?
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:59, Reply)

Look, I'm a qualified Hod-Carrier
so I think I know the best way to decide whether or not your food is fine enough.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:03, Reply)

*rolls-eyes*
I know for a fact that every customer that you've built a wall for has come out upset. Unlike their last hod-carrier who actually CARED, and didn't need to be asked THREE TIMES about if their food is fine or not.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:06, Reply)

so 10:30 curfew
must mean 'DC on at 8pm at the earliest, I'm gonna turn up at 7.

I have pitch tickets so there'll be people-barging to do by then but my brother and I are both big chaps (ALBEIT HALF AN INCH TOO SHORT FOR THE B3TA GIANTS' CLUB) so fuck 'em.

Niggaz is gonna get trampled, yo.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:16, Reply)

I think, given the general demographic of AC/DC fans, there will be far fewer
people of African or Caribbean descent there than in the general population so the chances of them being stepped upon is pretty small.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:19, Reply)

racerist! black people deserve as much chance as anyone else to be stepped on.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:22, Reply)

well
legendary hip hop producer DJ Premier is a 'DC fan, and KRS1 sampled Back in Black - so they might be there.

And if they are, they gon' git TRAMPLED FO' REAL.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:36, Reply)

They're getting a bit now, and PMQT is on at 11.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:39, Reply)

I'm going to be honest here, I'm not having the best day of my life so far.
My insides hurt quite a bit, but I have lovely-lovely-lovely morphine and lovely-lovely-lovely TENS machine.

I shall probably make my way via Bus to the O2 Store in Enfield Town, so I can get that new iPod thinggy, that should be good fun. I would like to play with the N97 too, even if O2 don't do it. I quite like technology, maybe I should phone up ahead? It would be a crushing disapointing effort to go all that way and to find they're sold out.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:10, Reply)

Oh dear
The apple snare lures another unsuspecting punter in... if they've sold out, I'll give you my left testicle. HTC Magic coming my way soon though, so I can't say I'm any better!
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:16, Reply)

Yesterday after work I went to watch my 8 year old nephew play football.
He was awesome : )
( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:11, Reply)

I'm playing an awesome game.
Unfortunartely I just lost.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:15, Reply)

what is it good sir? punny or unknown?
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:17, Reply)

I think your suspicions may be correct.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:26, Reply)

Well, it is very nearly the weekend
Although not quite nearly enough.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:18, Reply)

Thanks Al
that's a good 30 seconds of my life I'll never get back reading your inane driverling
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:23, Reply)

I'm going to Lahdaaan Taaahn
Tonight to see a Texan cowboy-rock band.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:27, Reply)

Nothing good has happened this week,
the last highlight was the bash on saturday.
Last night I was told by a policeman that I was too fat to be considered a suspect, which is sort of a good thing I suppose.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:42, Reply)

Not if the actual suspect was a 21 stone five foot tall woman.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:44, Reply)

skinny white boy
obviously.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:46, Reply)

Racist!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:49, Reply)

Well....
Tonight my mother and father are coming back from a Mediterranean cruise, and my lovely nieces and nephew are coming round to see us!

Later on I'm seeing the old g/f for some lovin' - might even watch "The Wrestler".

Tomorrow I'm going to Inverness to see Transformers 2 with some mates which is a great excuse for a KFC. I think I'll also buy a subway for the Sunday hangover.

Then on Saturday night I'll be back home to play nerdy games and drink loads of beer.

This is my THRILLING weekend which I'm sure you're all enthralled by..
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:50, Reply)

To Be Honest
That sounds ace!

Except for the subway, overpriced shit!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:52, Reply)

Over-priced?
Hmm probably. To be honest it's also better eaten fresh - but I rarely get a chance to do so. Spicy Italian, with absolutely everything added (even Olives!), extra chilli sauce and honey mustard. I mean how can you deny that!?
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:54, Reply)

No chance
Get rid of the jalapenos, tomatoes (which have no place on a hot sandwich) and olives.

Italian herb & cheese bread, get the onions cooked with the meat, then southwest sauce.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:15, Reply)

You're going to buy a Subway the day before in anticipation of a hangover?


I can't think of anything worse to aid recuperation to be honest.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:54, Reply)

Drinking petrol?

( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:55, Reply)

Okay that's the only thing I can think of that's worse than subway

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:00, Reply)

Eating a whole
Guinness hang-over-poo?
( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:02, Reply)

I helped elect one of those!

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:05, Reply)

Sounds like you've tried?

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:01, Reply)

Must've been a pretty bad hangover
to resort to petrol...
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:02, Reply)

Mmm... Benzine...
It's probably only marginally worse than Stella Artois.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:06, Reply)

Stella is the only beer in my house for this weekend :(

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:13, Reply)

To recuperate from a hangover
my theory is simple.

Get as much food as bad for you as possible - and eat it.

This could be greasy fry-ups, chippies, spicy curries, sub-ways, KFC's, McDonalds, Chineses - anything.

Eat the shit and MTFU!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:01, Reply)

Why did you have to mention Chinese food?
Now I want some.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:05, Reply)

Mmmm Spicy Curries.
I had a grilled chicken kebab last night, it was yummy.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:07, Reply)

Good news update!
Just got this from a promoter:

"Liking the sound of your band! The myspace looks dead good too.
We have a massive all-dayer coming up mid-August and we could probably give you an early afternoon slot there if you were up for it?
For the local scene, it's quite a high profile show too, so would be a good place to make your debut (if indeed it is your first show).
Let us know what you reckon and we'll see if we can sort something out."

Exciting stuff!
( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:01, Reply)

Woo!
Good stuff. Forum banter. Excellent. No offence.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:02, Reply)

Oh dear,
Been spending too much time with mongychops?
( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:03, Reply)

I'm pretty convinced that Al is a bot
he just scans the boards for the most used phrases and puts them in his replies.

no offense.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:04, Reply)

It's quite possible.
This theory might well have some gravitas.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:06, Reply)

we should get cr3 to count how many times he's mentioned:
precum, honda's, kaoltards etc.
See if it fits a pattern.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:09, Reply)

I'm just a shameless meme whore

In fairness, I have started some myself.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:11, Reply)

Yep,
and you're not the only one. Nothing wrong with it.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:14, Reply)

Memes are great.
I like the little ones that come and go.
They make me happy.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:15, Reply)

as happy as monkey?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:17, Reply)

Al IS a Meme, I thought everyone knew this by now

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:18, Reply)

As happy
As a wanking raccoon.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:18, Reply)

That's pretty damned happy.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:22, Reply)

Yeah.
Priapicaly so.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:26, Reply)

I think cr3's got better things to do.
Like get us the original Honda Accord post.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:11, Reply)

didn't you read it?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:15, Reply)

I commented on it.
First.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:16, Reply)

Then feel smug in the knowledge you read it
and loads of people didn't
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:19, Reply)

I always feel smug.
It's actually my middle name.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:22, Reply)

excellent news
remember us when you're saving the rainforests :)
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:04, Reply)

Rainforests?
I want this planet to burn.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:05, Reply)

saving, setting fire to
whatever
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:08, Reply)

well, as it happens
I found an little ipod shuffly thingy on the bus this morning. The bus was empty apart from me and the driver so I thought what the heck, I'm keeping it. It obviously wanted a more careful owner, and I haven't got one. woo and yay!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:02, Reply)

You think no one saw you take it,
but Jesus saw you take it.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:03, Reply)

Jesus cried when he saw you take it

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:04, Reply)

Then he touched his willy
because you were wearing tiny pink shorts
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:04, Reply)

^
then he you touched his your willy...

doh
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:05, Reply)

As Thom Yorke might say
The Karma Police will get to you...
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:04, Reply)

The Karma Police will get to you... I'm a pretentious cunt who should remember that people bought your records to start with because they were good so stop releasing unlistenable drivel and play some fucking tunes.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:05, Reply)

The last album wasn't actually bad at all.
And it was free.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:07, Reply)

I like them all!
He does seem a right cunt though. Not quite Chris Martin or Bono cunt, but a cunt all the same.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:11, Reply)

how do you know
that they already haven't?

I could be doing a good turn to someone else anyway, by not handing it in, the owner won't be wearing it when that lorry zooms round the corner, so they'll hear it in time and won't be squished.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:07, Reply)

You can keep trying to justify yout naughtiness as much as you like
But you know this is true:

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:09, Reply)

it is true

(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:10, Reply)

Ah so you done them a favour by stealing their shuffle
If you're lucky the victim will write you a letter thanking you!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:10, Reply)

I didn't steal it
they lost it. If there had been anyone else on the bus I would have asked people if it was theirs. But there wasn't. If I handed it in, it's most likely going to sit in a box at the depot for six months then handed out at the Christmas raffle.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:14, Reply)

I'm just the bitter bastard
That has lost an inordinate amount of wallets/phones/etc while drunk.

I've actually returned phones and things to the rightful owner before - it rarely works the other way though :(
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:19, Reply)

I would've handed it in :(

( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:04, Reply)

That's because
you're a good person Kaol. A good person.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:06, Reply)

What the fucking fuck have you done with my friend Al? All this talk of sparkle and fabulousness is tantamount to a good thrashing in my book.
I'm NOT having a day of sparkle and fabulousness as I'm off college ILL.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:15, Reply)

Well, you're amassive pathetic loser in all senses of the word
And there will be no bacon for you tomorrow.

NOW GO TO COLLEGE.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:16, Reply)

I feel very meh today
and I would appreciate your sympathy regarding this matter. I want none of your sparkle hugs and fluffyteims
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:20, Reply)

I hope you feel better
Get lots of rest, and don't eat too much or you won't have room in your tummy for BACON!
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:32, Reply)

I shall be falling over with hunger as the cheesecake smells amazing
and there's ALWAYS room for bacon
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:41, Reply)

What kind of ill?
Have you been in contact with anyone who could have pig flu?

Have you been in contact with anyone who could have pig flu?

Have you been in contact with anyone who could have pig flu?
( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:17, Reply)

*rolls eyes*
Look, I think that, as a fully qualified Lollipop man, I am much better at deciding whether your taking the piss.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:18, Reply)

Fuck off waitress

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:20, Reply)

Did you ever fall over a dog?
Well I did, and that means I'm perfectly capable of deciding whether I need open heart surgery or not.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:25, Reply)

I have actually and it hurt as I landed on it and then it bit me
bastard dog.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:27, Reply)

It's you're not your.
Ha! I've always wanted to do that.
( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:21, Reply)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Surely having my grammar corrected by BGB means I've hit a new low. And I'm pretty low at the best of times!
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:24, Reply)

Hahaha!
I'm gonna give points to BGB for comic timing on this one.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:25, Reply)

*takes a bow*
( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:30, Reply)

*applauds*

Very well done.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:30, Reply)

No
Grows agitated

Rolls eyes
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:19, Reply)

you obviously need some penicillin

(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:25, Reply)

Pfffft!

( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:26, Reply)

And I thought you were one of the nice ones
I'm disappointed in you HLT
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:28, Reply)

I am nice
didn't you discern my bland but caring tone?

or do I need to ask you three times?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:29, Reply)

*gets handbag*

OOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:31, Reply)

I think you'd better ask again to be sure

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:33, Reply)

all right
but if you don't come up with some olympic level whining I shall be most displeased
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:36, Reply)

Oh crap
I can but try
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:38, Reply)

you'd better
how else are we going to stop the pandemic?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:40, Reply)

doesnt wash hands

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:43, Reply)

Ahem
I feel soooooooooo meh and bah. There's nothing really seriously wrong, I just feel so floopy. I've been like this for more than three days now and all I can do is roll my eyes at it.

So I went to see my doctor, but Oh Em Gee, he wasn't there as my tax dollars are funding his trip to Brazil to seek out hookers with flesh eating diseases - they're mostly bacterial so nothing to worry about really.

I saw this locum and I could tell they were bad news as like everyone was coming out of there looking grumpy. Not that they looked amazing when they went in, but not one of them cracked a smile when they left. Me on the other hand, I think smiling's really important and I exercise this right to smile as often as I can. A smile on the face is the cornerstone to getting a visa and a well grounded economy.

Anyway, I couldn't believe the audacity this jumped up little locum had. He asked me THREE TIMES if I'd been in contact with anyone who's got a confirmed diagnosis of swine flu and I got so exasperated with him that I ROLLED MY EYES. I sure told him right? I mean Oh Em Gee. If he's not going to listen to me, then I'm not going to tell him that people all around me that I know and stuff have got it.

FINALLY after like 45 minutes of waiting I got a prescription for penicillin as he thinks I've got a cold or an infection and I left sticking my fingers up at that cunt and trailing bog roll behind me.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:52, Reply)

So like bow down before me bitches, or I'll phlegm on you

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:00, Reply)

I think that deserved to be posted somewhere
where it isn't buried beneath 100 rubbish replies.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:04, Reply)

I shall pearoast

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:09, Reply)

well, as a partly qualified trainee assistant struck-off cherry-putter-onner on the Cherry Bakewells bit at Mr Kipling
I can tell you that you have most definitely got the bacterial infection eye-rolling disease and that you need to go and sit in a dark room without any electricity for a couple of years or at least until you've grown a bit more skin so you won't get infected with virulent flu-bearing airborne disease virus wotchercallits.

and you can't have a visa either.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:04, Reply)

I always thought she was nice
but she was lying all this time. On the internet. I'll never trust the internet again.

And it's all hlt's fault.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:30, Reply)

Last night I had lots of fun
I was sat with Ken Dodd and he's dead sweet. I took a picture of us for my nana.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:35, Reply)

POIDH
you know the rules
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:37, Reply)

but!
I don't want the interwebble to see my face in case I get spotted for skiving!!
What shall I doooooo???
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:41, Reply)

paint all over your face
and the post the picture. People at work wont be able to spot you then as you'll be known as the person who painted on their face.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:42, Reply)

can you gaz pics?
In the 'Can one gaz pictures?' sense...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:44, Reply)

NO I'M NOT SHOWING YOU MY PANTS YOU FILTH PERV

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:46, Reply)

Hahah
pic v pantz plz?
I'm going for tea and toast.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:46, Reply)

Yeah.
You can indeed.
You need to have them uploaded somewhere.
www.b3tards.com is a good choice.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:46, Reply)

Thanks lad, I'll upload now. And you're sure the outside world can't see these?
Becky, I still haven't seen your knicks...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:17, Reply)

They're in the first post in my profile
everyone else has seen them.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:21, Reply)