Becky's little thread of imaginative swearwords
Tell me oh cockmunchers, what are your favourite creative swearwords to insult someone? While I LOVED scarf wearing cockhound, it was a little swearinglite, so it can't really be included

Jizz dribbling felchmonkey
Cuntastic clungefelcher
Prolapsed cuntface
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:30, 44 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm still a big fan of referring to people as
That quivering bollock.

Also, prolapsed ringmuncher, that's starting to be used!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:34, Reply)

Aspergic little cockworm
I used that phrase to describe an ex-boss in the pub once.

The barman recognised the bloke who I was talking about.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:34, Reply)

I like to call people penarse
a nice combo of penis and arse.

ignoranus is another favourite.

one of the all time greats due to how it rolls off the tongue is cuntybiffsnifter, a term coined by one of my old housemates while referring to me.

his mouth worked faster than his brain and among other things he called me a kipper's pimp and a whelk's hang-glider
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:38, Reply)

bonus clickage
for cuntybiffsnifter. When I was at college a popular slang term of a front bottom was a Biffa after the popular provider of wheeled waste disposal vessels.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:45, Reply)

minty slut
it sounds better in guttural scouse
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:40, Reply)

Dicktard.

( Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:40, Reply)

Fucktard
surely?
(MyFakeName, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:17, Reply)

Cocknose

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:41, Reply)

fuckfaced cunt
Not very imaginitive though.
Although I was once told that my use of "You fucking windowlicking duvet case" was the best insult this person had ever heard. I was quite proud!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:43, Reply)

That person
obviously doesn't get out much then
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:51, Reply)

I wouldn't necessarily agree.
You know them.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:02, Reply)

*copies all of these down to remember later*
I like the classic blackguard or rake, only because people don't expect it out of me.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:48, Reply)

Guffbeak

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:53, Reply)

my missus
called me 'stooly bum' the other day.

I once called someone a bath-dodging bearded shit.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:58, Reply)

DICKTARD
DICKTARD.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:58, Reply)

Already said that,
Dicktard.
( Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:00, Reply)

Spunktrench
Cumbucket and Donkey-Gobbler.
And best description of a child? A snot-goblin.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:01, Reply)

Snot-goblin?
No way.
Crotch-fruit or fuck-trophy.
( Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:03, Reply)

Have you seen what kids do with snot?
It's a pun really.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:06, Reply)

Eeeeeew!
I forgot about that :(
Nasty.
( Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:10, Reply)

I had a flatmate who did that
all the time. Just watching tv. She wouldn't stop!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:12, Reply)

There have been studies
Into whether it boosts the immune system.
Eating dead micro-organisms trapped in nasal goo.
Yum yum.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:15, Reply)

yuck,
but unless the microorganisms (or their antigens I guess) actually make it inside the body properly, not just being eaten up by stomach acid - wouldn't you think it'd just do nothing at all?
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:21, Reply)

Fucknut

(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:01, Reply)

A
Gangerous pissweasel with a face like a melted bucket.

Although it's not that sweary... erm throw in some more fucks (That's what she said boooyaaaah)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:03, Reply)

Gangerous?
Dangerous or gangrenous? Just wondering.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:17, Reply)

It's a new word I invented
whilst wearing my inventing hatomobile
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:23, Reply)

Shitnibbler

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:06, Reply)

1-syllable swearword + 2-syllable animal
works most of the time:

Cuntmonkey
Shitweasel
Spaffbadger

but occasionally goes a little bit wrong:

cockostrich
jizzdolphin
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:12, Reply)

I like Cockostrich!
GA's most repeated phrase to me is "Get to fuck, clungemonkey"
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:28, Reply)

Courtesy of Becky, that is
I like jizzdolphin personally.
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:21, Reply)

Ahhhh
My favorite at the moment has got to be shitguzzling fucktard.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:24, Reply)

Wife swapping shit-box

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:27, Reply)

They don't really work if they're not spir-of-the-moment.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:27, Reply)

feculent crotchgoblin
Just to raise the tone a little.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:29, Reply)

Naughty boy

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:34, Reply)

I'm not sure you've really grasped the spirit of this thread DG
you Pugfister
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:54, Reply)

a push face

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:34, Reply)

a smelly poopoo chin

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:35, Reply)

Parent's Regret.... well, one of your parents anyway.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:38, Reply)

One from a film
And it's been used by a B3tan.

Cock juggling thunder cunt!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:01, Reply)

Twatsack
Fuckbuckets
(MyFakeName, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:19, Reply)

cumsponge offends some women quite nicely
or bucket cunt. it's got a good solid sound to it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:55, Reply)

Jamrag is an all time classic

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 18:56, Reply)