I GOT A JOB, FUCKERS
The downfall of Off topic starts July 13th :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:36, 79 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Woo!
Congrats!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:37, Reply)

Nice work
At the place you had the trial shift I presume or did you decide to take your prostitution to full time in the end?
( Captain V, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:38, Reply)

Yeah, trial shift place
so it'll cost me around £200 a month until they install Oyster machines there, but it's all good.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:38, Reply)

ouch
you should learn to fly
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:40, Reply)

Yay!
Well done you.
( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:38, Reply)

YOU GOT A JOB FUCKING THINGS?!!?
AWESOME
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:38, Reply)

Fantastic!
(That applies both to the job and the fall of this place.)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:38, Reply)

Yay, someone else agrees with me ,)

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:39, Reply)

the place will crumble without its first lady
I'm going to have to mnore than double my efforts. or give up entirely and hang up my staff of office.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:42, Reply)

I reckon join talk, you'll have more fun on there V

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:43, Reply)

Yeah fuck off to talk!

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:45, Reply)

despite how it looks
I don't have enough opportunity to follow it. too fast-paced for the way I use b3ta during work.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:48, Reply)

Congratulations
and masturbations on your great big new shiny job
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:43, Reply)

Bitchin'!
Well done you.
( Cawl, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:44, Reply)

Good for you!
Bad for us :-(
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:45, Reply)

And then of course
I'm leaving soon.
Final nail in the coffin.
( Cawl, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:47, Reply)

you're leaving?
You finally finished the payments on your coffin? What?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:47, Reply)

Yeah we won't be throwing
a party when you leave at all *hides party poppers*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:48, Reply)

A leaving party?
Yaaaay, thanks :D
( Cawl, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:48, Reply)

Yeaah...
don't be surprised if your invite gets lost in the post
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:49, Reply)

In fact
to avoid the shock I think you should wean yourself off b3ta now, Kaol.
Go on, off you go.
Bye.
( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:54, Reply)

how will you get out of the coffin?

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:48, Reply)

Hopefully he wont

( Captain V, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:41, Reply)

they not have the internet in wales?
pretty sure they did when I was there
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:49, Reply)

Wales?
I meant it's very unlikely that I'll be online at all during the day after I quit work.
( Cawl, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:52, Reply)

outrageous behaviour
what are you doing instead of work?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:56, Reply)

Either uni,
Or a new job for a year.
( Cawl, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:58, Reply)

what might you do at uni?
advanced vivisection techniques with taxidermy?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:05, Reply)

Teaching :p

( Cawl, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:16, Reply)

dear god
do they know what they are letting themselves in for?

actually, as much as it pains me to say it, I suspect that you'd probably be a very good teacher.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:18, Reply)

He probably will
But the poor kids will have a load of made up shit in their heads to go with the real stuff he's taught them!
( Captain V, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:23, Reply)

at least he will have taught them some real shit
which is more than can be said for a bunch of teachers these days.

my gf's sister is an A-level physics teacher, and I've had to explain to her why things float. I despair.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:24, Reply)

Very true
And his made up shit sounds plausible enough that most people don't realise anyway.
( Captain V, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:26, Reply)

Awh, thanks guys!
I had a shit Biology teacher at A level, and it almost put me off the subject forever.
( Cawl, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:35, Reply)

most of my teachers were shit
fortunately by not listening to them and not doing any work I ended up with some A-levels and a high quality engineering degree. no thanks to them.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:39, Reply)

Hah!
Most of my teachers were excellent, just one of my biology ones was terrible.
I got shit A-Levels though, as I was a fuckin' waster at the time.
Got into uni on my interview.
( Cawl, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:43, Reply)

If they're worse than mine then I'll have to quote Gonzo

( Captain V, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:45, Reply)

Go on then...
What did you get?
( Cawl, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:46, Reply)

CCE
This is significantly crap compared to what I should've got =[
( Captain V, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:49, Reply)

Yeah,
I'm "gutted".
*sighs*
( Cawl, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:50, Reply)

Ouch

( Captain V, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:54, Reply)

I was amazed when I got to uni
I got BCD, which scraped me onto the course, and most of my coursemates had all As. Didn't stop them being pretty dumb though.

I came to the conclusion a while ago that exams are a very shit way of testing people.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:56, Reply)

I disagree with this
I got AABB and then a first in my BSc, so exams were an excellent way of testing me.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:00, Reply)

I hope that was sarcastic

( Captain V, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:02, Reply)

No
I just like boasting.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:04, Reply)

I didn't mean the grades
Using exams to measure aptitude might benefit you greatly but that doesn't mean they're a great way of measuring your aptitude.

Sure you might be relatively worse off if a method of testing that has stronger correlation between indicated performance and actual performance were introduced but it'd still be a better way of testing you.
( Captain V, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:10, Reply)

Oh Just
....



...



.....






...




Fuck Off.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:12, Reply)

I got AAC
And a 2 on the Chemistry Special paper. But then I only got a 2-2 for my degree. I suspect the introduction of serious quantities of alcohol may have played a part in this dramatic slide.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:07, Reply)

I had the same experience
I was lucky that only Oxford needed good grades to get in (I think it was AAB at the time) and Cardiff only wanted BBB. It still surprised me that I was one of the most capable students there (especially given the episodes I was having at the time).

I say it all the time; I'd love to go back. It'll be very hard to choose between chemistry and a computing based degree though.
( Captain V, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:02, Reply)

Good for you!
B3ta by Blackberry!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:49, Reply)

Hooray! And Boo!
For getting the job and the not being here. Order as you see fit.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:52, Reply)

That's excellent news!
The job anyway, not so much the downfall!
(bill, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 10:56, Reply)

Congratulations.
And fuck off. Go on. FUCK RIGHT OFF. See if I care.
*Trembles lower lip*
*Wibbles a bit*
Edit: And great timing, just great. I start my hols on 15th so I'll have even more time to waste.
I suppose I'll just have to cope. As usual.*Sigh*
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:07, Reply)

Congratulations

(PsychoChomp, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:18, Reply)

I can tell you are upset
why not have a good cry?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:19, Reply)

+wank
( Cawl, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:21, Reply)

Not at all,
being unemployed is shit and depressing,I'm glad she's got a job.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:21, Reply)

You don't seem right.
Has someone died?
( Cawl, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:23, Reply)

I'm getting a voice...
He was someone very close to your heart.
( Cawl, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:23, Reply)

He loved music.

( Cawl, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:23, Reply)

I'm getting a name...
Jake?
( Cawl, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:24, Reply)

Jack?
He was your son?
( Cawl, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:24, Reply)

He says
"I love you, R. Everything will be ok."
( Cawl, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:25, Reply)

"At least you'll have the ticket to remember me by"
Does that mean anything to you?
( Cawl, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:25, Reply)

He's fading now.
It's over.
( Cawl, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:26, Reply)

That was beautiful

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:31, Reply)

moving
moved me to the toilet anyway
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:32, Reply)

Thanks.
I think that might be the first ever b3ta-séance.
( Cawl, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:37, Reply)

you are obviously receptive
to channelling paedophiles
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:38, Reply)

This is worryingly accurate.

( Cawl, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:45, Reply)

I suggest we proceed no further down this avenue
couple of great new songs at practice last night. I started messing around with a riff, which turned into a verse and chorus and then the whole band joined in and we had a song.

similar happened with one our singer has written which basically tells the story of Underworld 3, in the form of a rock song.

when we'd finished playing (after fastest guitar solos I could manage) there was a guy playing some distorted guitar in a house across the road, in a manner that suggested he was trying to outdo us. naturally I played a few choice bits and he stopped playing.

was pretty funny, although I did feel rather big-headed...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:53, Reply)

top marks for putting an accent over the 'e'

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:38, Reply)

damn you and your seriousness
trying to spoil my friday.

being unemployed is shit, probably the worst couple of months of my life.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:23, Reply)

Excellent news.
Didn't take too long, did it?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:18, Reply)

Hurrah!
*round of applause*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:24, Reply)

Cheers lovelies :)

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:09, Reply)

Woo and motherfucking yay!
Well done you :)
( Maladicta, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:42, Reply)

Congrats
more beer money for you!
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 18:44, Reply)

Felicitations!

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 12:29, Reply)