My fact for the day:
Trained dolphins and sea lions can find submerged divers. Both can see, and hear direction of sound well underwater, and dolphins have natural sonar.
In 1970 to 1980 trained dolphins killed 2 Russian frogmen who were putting limpet mines on a USA cargo ship in Cam Ranh bay in Vietnam. After that, Russian frogmen were trained to fight back against trained dolphins, and in an incident on the coast of Nicaragua Russian frogmen killed trained anti-frogman dolphins.

What have you learned today?
( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:05, 81 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

That you're full
of weird and slightly dull facts
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:06, Reply)

This is true.
But the mental image of Russian Frog-Men fighting dolphins is priceless.
( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:07, Reply)

slightly incredibly
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:07, Reply)

I don't care.

( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:09, Reply)

Why are you crying then?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:11, Reply)

They're tears of
Pure joy that somebody is talking about me.
( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:12, Reply)

I really should put you on ignore

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:13, Reply)

Yeah,
But I know where you live.
( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:14, Reply)

You gonna come see me?
bring booze
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:15, Reply)

I learnt how to read a Sonar Waterfall display last week.

( WormuIus, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:08, Reply)

And what, dear boy,
Is a "Sonar Waterfall"?
( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:08, Reply)

SONAR is a system of detecing vessels via sound propogation through water.
Passive SONAR is when someone simply listens to the sound signatures of other things.

The visual readout of these sound signatures is often displayed as a 2D Waterfall display.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spectrogram

Typically The horizontal axis is the bearing of the contact, whilst the vertical axis is frequency or time.
( WormuIus, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:14, Reply)

One can use the readout combined with other information obtainable from SONAR to calculate the bearing, depth, distance and speed of a contact

( WormuIus, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:16, Reply)

and to tell what type of vessel it is, obviously.
Then you shout:

ASSIGN TUBE ONE CONTACT SIERRA ONE
FLOOD TUBE ONE
OPEN TUBE ONE
LAUNCH TUBE ONE
MAKE MY DEPTH 060 FEET DIVE
MAKE TURNS FOR 05 KNOTS

etc etc until all the badguys die.
( WormuIus, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:18, Reply)

Oh right!
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume that you aren't a sonar-monkey on a submarine.
Is it personal interest thing?
( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:17, Reply)

I just thought it would be useful to be able to use a SONAR array.
Think how fucking stupid you'd look if you found yourself in command of a submarine and didn't know how the SONAR worked.

You fucking retard, I hope this happens to you and you learn a short sharp lesson in preparation as you struggle to differentiate the ambiguous contacts as the Russian attack subs close in on your flailing spazmarine.
( WormuIus, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:20, Reply)

In submarine lingo...
...why is the "Target" always called a "Solution"?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:23, Reply)

It's a firing solution on the target.
The targets are usually called contacts, I believe.

*checks Tom Clancy, source of all knowlege on this subject*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:26, Reply)

It's not really
The solution is the calculation that arrises from the bearing, speed, distance etc of the contact.

The process is sometimes called 'stacking the dots'
( WormuIus, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:27, Reply)

Gotcha
A "solution" seems a mouthful when fighter pilots use the term "lock-on" for exactly the same thing.

*re-reads Wormulus's post*

Oh, I see. It's subject to extrapolation.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:29, Reply)

Contacts are assigned callsigns normally Sierra 001, Sierra 002 etc

( WormuIus, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:39, Reply)

I much prefer
"That bloke over there on the left" and "no, the other bloke THERE!"
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:41, Reply)

That's more like it.
I'm not getting in a submarine though. Fuck that.
( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:23, Reply)

The claustrophobia... The tons of water pressure on the hull around you...
...the constant threat of sudden buggery.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:31, Reply)

I don't fancy being in
A tin can full of semen.
( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:32, Reply)

Brings a new meaning to the term "Depth Charging"

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:34, Reply)

Hahaha!

( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:36, Reply)

*gets on submarine*

( thealternativefact, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:32, Reply)

He said buggery, not bukkake

(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:33, Reply)

I'm having both.

( thealternativefact, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:34, Reply)

greedy

(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:35, Reply)

Stop being mean just because you're feeling left out.

( thealternativefact, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:37, Reply)

*wants moar spunk*

(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:44, Reply)

You should be careful.
You get that stuff on your forehead, you'll get spots there.
Er, like those ones...*points at Al*
( thealternativefact, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:46, Reply)

Oh now that's just mean
your not supposed to mix b3ta and real life.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:50, Reply)

Tell us about your new bike.

( thealternativefact, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:52, Reply)

It's all shiny and new and I haven't got it yet.
I'm picking it up tonight. Didn't I tell you?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:54, Reply)

Hmm...it rings a bell.

( thealternativefact, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:55, Reply)

Oh it doesn't have bell.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:56, Reply)

How will you be aggressively smug towards pedestrians?

( thealternativefact, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:58, Reply)

I intend to carry a stick with nails in
and I'll ride quietly up behind them on the pavement and SMASH THEIR FUCKING SKULLS IN.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:59, Reply)

Cyclist Scum

( thealternativefact, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:00, Reply)

FUCKING PEADOSTRAIN!
I'LL TEACH YOU TO WALK ON MY PAVEMENT!
(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:01, Reply)

I ALREADY KNOW HOW
YOU SMUG TWAT
( thealternativefact, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:04, Reply)

Doh!
I just got pwned by a lovely lady.


Who's covered in spunk.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:17, Reply)

:D

( thealternativefact, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:23, Reply)

Sudden undersea bukakke
They never had to contend with that on Das Boot.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:35, Reply)

Haven't you SEEN
The Director's Cut?
( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:36, Reply)

They are a bit cramped
I went on one when I was a kid.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:34, Reply)

Really?
You've never seen ANY Cold War submarine films?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:15, Reply)

No.
I have not.
( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:15, Reply)

What's wrong with you?

( thealternativefact, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:19, Reply)

You want the list?

( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:20, Reply)

He's a
kaoltarded vampire
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:24, Reply)

Oh yeh...

( thealternativefact, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:32, Reply)

A russian kaoltarded vampire at that.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:33, Reply)

Or he could be
An illegal Spanish trawlerman coming over here to steal OUR FISH!
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:21, Reply)

The watercolour artist Turner probably suffered from cataracts...
...and his art was influenced in the same way as Monet's later paintings.

You did ask.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:18, Reply)

The lack of replies...
...is testament to the tedium of this fact.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:40, Reply)

Dolphins are also the only animals that engage regularly in
Nasal sex.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:19, Reply)

How the jiggery whatsit...?
Diagrams please... Unless you're Gerard Depardieu it sounds extremely difficult.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:21, Reply)

A dolphin has one nostril.
It's called a "blow hole".
Make more sense now?
( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:24, Reply)

Ah, gotcha
Sorry for being so slow... I'd have to meet one of those suckers with a cold.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:26, Reply)

You'd HAVE to?
Why, more mucus = more lube?
( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:27, Reply)

I thought you were going to go with
Only other animals to have sex for pleasure
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:24, Reply)

Pigs and Bonobos.

( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:25, Reply)

Not together of course

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:27, Reply)

Pigs have
45 minute orgasms
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:27, Reply)

And a curly penis.

( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:27, Reply)

Have you seen male pigs?
You'd need a very good reason to shag one if your a female pig.
( girlinthehole, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:34, Reply)

that's a hell of a saturday night

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:27, Reply)

On the other hand...
...they get killed, chopped up and served with mash.

Plus humans in their almost infinite inventiveness have managed to discover brewing, distilling and have devised the Strip Club.

I've never seen a pig strip... Actually, I'm from Colchester so that isn't quite true.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:33, Reply)

Bonobos
Females also do it for a share in the meat from hunts. Possibly the only animal prostitutes?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:51, Reply)

Humans are animals.

( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:53, Reply)

Yeah bonobos are primates too yadayadayada.
You know what I mean. Barber.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:56, Reply)

You haven't met TGB have you.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:58, Reply)

Dairy Milk
bars contain 45.5% of your daily saturated fat, in one 49g bar.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:26, Reply)

I've got
a 250g bar in my fridge - how much is that worth?
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:30, Reply)

about £3

(PsychoChomp, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:37, Reply)

Roughly 2 days.
Or a vist to A&E with a coronary.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:40, Reply)

ha
with all the shite I eat, a 250g DM is a drop in the bucket really
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:41, Reply)